/ck/ - Food & Cooking

> see some flour at the store
> "hmmmm, I really like bread products and pastries, and this should be like a snackable powder version of bread."
> just bland, ultra-sticky dust that made me have a coughing fit.

Could've read the box and found out it's a fermented product and thus will taste like sour ass

good for baking but I don't understand people who drink it either.

>>6416228
Gotta put salt in it.

>be a kid
>snooping in kitchen cabinets
>see a chocolate bar
>fuck yea score
>nobody is around
>take a huge bite
>nasty bitterness
>read the package
>baking chocolate
>wrap it back up and never speak of it

from the thumbnail, I couldn't tell if the guy was eating or vomiting

That's some next level poorfagging when you can't even afford a plate to eat your shitty frozen pizza product off of.

>>6416403
I've done that before and I have lots of plates. It has more to do with being extremely lazy and not wanting to wash a dish, for me at least

>>6416413
We have these things called paper plates for those who don't want to wash dishes.

>>6416388
It's Totino's so it's both.

>>6416419
Only white trash actually have paper plates.

>>6416428
>Only white trash actually have paper plates.
>ive never been to a bbq

>>6416432
>bbq
I rest my case.

>>6416443
>a cookout
>a barbecue
>a grill orgy
>a faggoty picnic with steaks
whatever you want to call it jizznigger

>>6416443
>Confirmed basement dweller
What's wrong with grilling meats with friends and family? Having drinks with your best buds and eating delicious grilled steaks, chicken, pork, or fish is a big no no for socially awkward people I suppose.

>>6416403
Niggers know best

>>6416473
He litterally doesn't have any friends, at all, let it go.

>>6416461
>>6416473
Only white trash think so little of their guests to give them shitty disposable plates.

>>6416488
What? Disposable plates are specifically FOR guests. Especially if you're going to have a lot of them.

>>6416488
>ive never had a lot of guests before
>ive never grilled on a beach before
>i have no friends to cook meat with so i'll eat this french bread pizza and jerk off

>kid watching Winne The Pooh
>that cartoon honey HNNNNG
>sneak into the pantry
>big yellow bottle that looks like a beehive.
>CHUG CHUG CHUG
>gulped...oh god why...what...noooooo
>It was corn syrup and to this day the smell of it makes me shudder a bit.

>>6416488
What the fuck, dude? Where are you from? Here on Earth, it is widely acceptable to use paper plates for any and all occasions where food is being consumed by large groups of people. If I'm going to a barbecue, birthday, random get-together, etc., why in fuck's name would the host offer 20 or more dinner plates when paper is so much more efficient and sensible? Are you just trying to argue for no apparent reason? Human beans eat on paper plates, wealthy or poor, it doesn't fucking matter

>>6416507
>Not knowing how to read
I feel sorry for all you plebeians who weren't reading Edgar Allen Poe at age 3.

>>6416510
>Human beans
i loves it

>>6416510
>human beans

Balut was a massive let-down for me. I thought it would be sort of tough to get past the idea of what I was eating, but as someone who tries to be pretty open to trying new things, I didn't think it would be too bad, and I'd heard it was pretty tasty.

A big part of the trouble was probably because of my getting a really developed one. Bones, feathers, brains, etc. in there. More than I bargained for. Everyone who talks about balut always mentions the tasty soup-like juice when you crack the shell too, but I found it wasn't very juicy on the inside. Even removing any of the gross factor (and it was more gross than I expected for sure), it just wasn't very tasty either. I'd still try it again though, but only if I got it properly prepared from a restaurant. I probably overcooked the little shit, and I probably didn't have the right condiments for it.

>>6416510
Is this pasta?

>>6416219

Damn you're an idiot. Buttermilk isn't for drinking.

>>6418070
The "Human beans" part is. Go ask /tv/ about what a real human bean is.

>>6416511
Are you me?

>>6418075
Indian people drink it

>>6418278
No, I'm pretty sure I'm not you. Story was the Tell-Tale Heart, though. Didn't understand jack shit but some guy hid a heart under the floorboards and the police were involved for some reason.

>>6418285
That was read to me at 6. Did understand it and read others on my own at that age. The Black Cat, The Cask of Amontillado, The Raven, Hop-Frog, some other lesser-known I don't know that it was such a good thing.

>>6416419
>using paper plates
>anywhere but at a barbecue or similar outdoor venue

make some pancakes with it

>>6416228
All my aunts and uncles love the stuff plain. I don't get it.

>>6416488
>I've never had more than 4 people at my house at one time

>>6418867
>he only has 4 plates
You're not helping your case here.

This thread turned out funnier than expected. kek.

>>6418282
"Injun people do it" is not a good way to justify anything

>>6418911
>Injun
That slang refers to native americans, smartypants.

>>6416488
>block party
>50+ people
>all of them drinking
>offering them ceramic or stoneware plates to stand around with
Yeah, okay kid.

>>6418926
Yeah, man. That's totally applicable in this discussion.

>>6418914
>knowing everything about racial slurs
>knowing nothing about malapropism

>>6418933
I know about both faggot, but that is clearly not what he was referring to. Jesus christ.

>>6416510

Nigga rich people have servants that carry food and drink around at parties and take away any trash


they dont use paper plates, you are high asf

>>6418933
malapropism is just a fancy way to say that somebody misspoke because they're a retard.

I also hate blacks.

>>6418937
ok ill spell it out
>malapropism = using the wrong word, perhaps intentionally
anon said "injun" which means Indian (feather) when he was really talking about Indian (dot), hence the lulz, faggot

>>6418947
>malapropism
>he mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo ” (instead of flamenco ).
>unintentionally
Not him, but you're wrong.

>>6418947
>perhaps intentionally
>this damage control

>>6418942
>>6418944
>>6418947
>>6418951
>>6418954
found the injuns

>>6418963
poop and bathe in ganges injuns or teepee smoke-signal injuns?

>>6418963
>proven wrong
>better act like I'm only pretending to be retarded

>>6416219

You wont like plain yoghurt then.

>>6418971
play at jacobs field injuns
>>6418975
two shitposts does not make a goodpost

>>6416378
>60% semisweet chocolate
>nasty bitterness

u wot

>>6418990
>semisweet
Baking chocolate is unsweetened, you swine.

>at some banquet as a kid
>go up to bar
>ask for a soda
>he asks what kind
>I ask what does he have
>starts naming them off, last one is club soda
>never had club soda before, sounds delicious and grown up
>order that
>take a sip, notice smug look on his face
>unflavored carbonated water
>play it off as if it's okay
>too ashamed to go back to ask for something different

>>6416378
I also did the same thing with the powdered Hershey's cocoa thinking it was like Nesquik. Another time I mixed Nesquik with water instead of milk and it wasn't till I drank it I realized what I did. I was a really stupid kid.

>>6419035
I really hope you didn't pay for it.

I've never paid for club soda.

Troll thread yay!

There's this place call Hot Dog Johnny's out in the middle of nowhere in NW New Jersey that serves really good hot dogs with really good homemade birch beer or, for some bizarre reason, buttermilk.

Tried the buttermilk and I don't know why anyone would want to drink it ever.

>>6419578
Are there a lot of old folks out there? A lot of the older generations (most likely dead now) enjoyed buttermilk.

>>6418075
Southern people drink buttermilk. Apparently they like to dip cornbread in it.

>>6419623

I suppose. The place is a classic example of 1940's or 1950's roadside stand, like something you would imagine on Route 66 but in the middle of nowhere NJ. It's mostly farms and old housing developments full of tiny ranch homes. I can't imagine anyone young living out there.

>>6419638
Southerner here, I've never heard of that. Ever. Dipping cornbread sounds disgusting.

>>6419660
I bet you dip that shit in gravy, fatboy

>>6419558
who is this attractive woman?

>>6419660
You've never dipped yer cornbread in a bowl of bean soup? Son, you haven't lived yet.

>>6419663
Only thing I put gravy on is my rice.

>>6419665
I don't eat beans. Beans are gross. I've got a soft spot for baked beans, but only when prepared a very specific way.

What's wrong with Buttermilk?
It has a nice and refreshing taste.
Nothing hits the spot like a cold glass of it during the warm summer days.

>>6419664
Someone I went to hs and college with

>>6419660
I guess it's mainly a thing of old people. My SO grew up in Alabama and says that parents and grandparents were all about that shit.

>>6419665
>corn bread and bean soup
Based anon

>>6419668
>not dipping corn bread
>not putting gravy on biscuits, potatoes, or meats.
>shunning beans unless they meet yankee standards
What kind of southern man are you?

>>6419774
>What kind of southern man are you?
we dont want him in the north either

m&m cookies are one of life's most consistent disappointments.

what is this thread

>>6419845
>>6419883

Trolls trollin' trolls. Don't stop him now, he's on a roll

>>6419883
I think OP wanted to make a thread where people posted stories about foods they were misled by. Like how everyone says angel food cake is supposed to be delicious, but it actually tastes like dry shit.

>>6416510
spoken like a real human bean

>>6418075
>>6418911
Swedish people drink buttermilk.

>>6419660
You never pour milk over day old cornbread? It is great for breakfast.

>>6416488
>actually giving a fuck about guests and not just handing them paper plates
You seem like you grew up poor but want to distance yourself from any "commoner" things.

>>6416510
>>6416494
>>6416432

>Defending the honor of paper plates.

>>6416432
People buy paper plates to use at BBQs. Then after the BBQ they don't have paper plates anymore.

>Buy some vanilla extract
>Man, I bet this tastes delicious
>Hmm.....

>>6419035
Haha I did the same shit. Also, I did the same shit to a kid a few years ago, poor fuck. I hope you carry on the tradition too.

>going through cupboards
>find some cool lolly looking things
>eat one
>some super fizzy bitter flavour overpowers me and i start drooling orange shit everywhere
>mum walks in and starts uncontrollably laughing at me

turns out i was eating one of her berocca performance tablets youre meant to put in a glass of water which fizzes it into an orange drink thing

mfw

>>6418947
No, I understood your shit, I just think it's retarded.

>>6421379

hey I love those tablet things

I haven't seen one in years though

>>6421351
>mfw I routinely buy and drink vanilla extract to get drunk

>>6421391
Doesn't school start in a few hours little dude?

>>6416219
Looked forward to tasting dominos for the first time. Way to small pizzas and the topping was burned.

Fucking dominos

>>6416219

>English isn't my native language
>went to England for semester abroad
>go to Pizza Hut
>spot "Rocket Pizza" on menu
>order it
>it's just a pizza with salad on top

I just wanted to ride to the moon

>>6421797
kek

>>6419845
I never liked peanut butter cookies with the Hershey kiss on top. They always looked good but way too sweet.

Like half the pork pies I have ever eaten, its pretty much a lottery as too whether its good or not

>>6421897
>Take a bite
>80% jelly

>try the cabbage rolls, they are delicious m8
cabbage rolls taste like shit

>>6418075
Damn you're an idiot. Trix are for kids.

>just a kid
>mom only buys boring unsweetened cereals (rice crispies, cherrios, cornflakes etc)
>allows us to sprinkle sugar on it after pouring the milk
>mom liked to buy stuff in bulk and transfer them into old jars
>make a bowl of cereal
>sprinkle liberally with sugar
>it's msg.

>>6421958
I ate an entire jar of dollar store MSG for $50 back in junior high. I had no ill effects to my knowledge, easiest money ever.

>>6416219
Just bought a jar of reeses peanut butter and chocolate spread. It somehow manages to taste like neither. It's like the flavors cancel each other out.

>>6419035
This literal exact same thing happened to me except i was at planet hollywood

>>6421970
Is your name Fry?

>>6421958
>implying cheerios aren't sugar laden

>>6421958
> cheerios
> unsweetened

>>6419845
very true. i always try one thinking maybe this time i'll like it but i never do.

then again i dont like chocolate themed cookies in general. funnily enough these are the exception: >>6421875

>>6421797

Remembered something else

>go to Tesco's
>find something called "Orange Squash"
>sounds really cool so I buy it
>open it up on my way to work (had to go through the town on foot)
>take a sip
>"Well that's awfully thick"
>pass by loads of schoolgirls in their uniforms looking at me
>take another sip
>wonder why it's so thick and tasting so weird
>get to work
>"Hey anon, you know you have to dilute that, right?"

bumped from page 10

>>6420194
No we don't.

>>6424667
Yes you do and you eat caviar from toothpaste tubes

>>6422144
My bf did something similar with condensed Campbell's soup. But to his defense he grew up eating fancy chunky soups that didn't need a can of water added to it.

>>6424671
No.

And that isn't caviar. It's cod roe spread.

>>6424740
its cum

>>6424754
Very good Anon. Have a meme gold star.