/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6388535
the worst one is that fucking sugary microwave ramen that gains sentience halfway through the cooking process.

>2015
>using pans
It just makes more work when you need to do the dishes later.

>>6388535

>>6388535
While the presentation is terrible leddit tier, the actual recipe doesn't seem THAT bad to me

>>6388619
>throwing out premixed spice packet then remaking it using shitty dried-out shaker spices
>trying to brown ground beef (everyone knows gb doesn't brown well since it releases too much water)
>beans, random veggies in chili
>not using actual CHILI peppers for CHILI

go back to /r/food

>>6388619
>>6388535
Whenever reddit has a thread about "whats the most embarrassing post in reddit history" people usually bring this chili recipe up as well as a similarly shitty post about ice soap. Most people point out that he tells people not to use the McCormick Chili packet and instead tells them to use the same ingredients anyway (right down to using McCormick brand spices still )

>>6388535
>2 am chili
>by the time you're done it
ll likely be about 5 to 6am

>>6388548
::like::

cooking this way makes more sense bc that's basically an electric French top. If I bought a new stove like that, I would do that

>>6388564
I don't get it

>>6388625
I don't have a problem with the use of beans, veggies, and browned beef in the chili. What I do have a problem with is cleaning the gb pan before sauteeing the vegetables in it. The one chance to bring some actual flavor into the dish and the idiot wastes it by cleaning away the delicious brown bits. What a fucking retard.

>>6388535
This and has been and always will be the cringiest.

Third time I see this image, why do I hate it ?

>>6388614

>>6388692
>appealing to reddit with nerd cliches and faux "epic" shit
>molson xxx
>guy is wearing his watch with the face on the inside of his wrist like a jackfuck

Prepare to rage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86qC7ppqi_0

tl;dw The redditor that created the 2am chili has a cookbook coming out based on the popularity of his post making it to the front page. American Express is involved in some way.

>the bottom right panel is mfw some /ck/ sperg tells me not to put beans in chili

Don't know if this counts

>>6388747
I want to poke his fat cheeks.

>>6388753
The only think I'm cringing at is the "design" of this image. It looks like it was made by a 10 year old.

>>6388746
the shot (1:05) of him trying to chop crackers with a knife and then taking a photo of it is amazing

>>6388796
>Cooking should be as much fun as reading a comic book. Recipes should be cheap and easy. And the food has to taste good. That’s where Cooking Comically comes in. Tyler Capps, the creator of recipes like 2 a.m. Chili that took the Internet by storm, offers up simple, tasty meals in a unique illustrated style that will engage all your senses. These dishes are as scrumptious to eat as they are easy to make. This collection includes all-time favorites and original recipes from Cooking Comically, including Sexy Pancakes, Bolognese for Days, Mash-Tatoes, Pulled Pork (aka Operation Man-Kitchen), and Damn Dirty Ape Bread. Perfect for those who can barely boil water but are tired of ramen and fast food. Stop slaving. Start cooking

>>6388819
>Operation Man-Kitchen

>>6388819
>I already loved the Cooking Comically site, and this book doesn't fail! Wonderful recipes, art, and as always, very funny.
>and as always, very funny
>very funny
>funny

>>6388819
>took the Internet by storm
>literally never saw this shit anywhere else than in /ck/ringe threads

>>6388819
>Operation Man-Kitchen
>being so insecure about cooking you have to put the word man in front of it so as not to seem girly

>>6388625
>>trying to brown ground beef

i use ground beef a lot, and this is my way to combat this:

1. squish the ground beef into very thin patties.

2. on high heat, sear the patties, and tilt the pan so the water falls to the other side of the pan and boils off.

3. with a spatula, break the patties back down into small bits.

the patties get nicely browned and crusty. lots of malliard reaction.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>6388627
lol i didnt notice the mccormick brand spices. what a nong.

>>6388746
fuck this faggot is in my state.

>>6388702
god, i hate eggs

>>6388904
So where do you get your spices?

>>6388927
Not that anon, but le cringy chef man made a point of throwing out McCormick spice blend then made the exact same blend with the exact same spices.

>>6388927
>>6388935
The cooking equivalent of
>"Class, instead of going to the box factory today we'll be going to.......the box factory."

>>6388625

>trying to brown ground beef (everyone knows gb doesn't brown well since it releases too much water)

you are a retard

>>6388913
What are you, a faggot?

Is not browning ground beef a thing? If I'm making something like chili or meat sauce, then I just cook it on medium low stirring occasionally until almost burnt everywhere, constantly deglazing with usually something alcoholic. I mean, it's going into a sauce anyway, and it's not a whole piece of meat, it's not like it can get dry.

>>6389357
In Germany we eat it raw.

>>6389357
there's not much of a point, other than removing flavor

>>6389364

>>6389357
it's so much better if you brown it first, no idea what people itt are on about.

It's COOKING WITH JACK everyone!

>>6388702
As a baker this gif always cracks me up

>>6389357

>and it's not a whole piece of meat, it's not like it can get dry.

not really true, the bundles of mince still contain moisture that you p much have to lose most of if you wanna brown the meat

when i'm making something with minced beef i usually brown half of it really thoroughly and leave the other half raw. best compromise IMO

The biggest cooking cringe is ruining food or deliberately being a bad cook for laughs.

Like those HowToBasic videos or that Swedish Meal Time (or whatever it was called).

>>6389371

Worse than any gore I've ever seen.

>>6389386
>stop having fun!
Go back to r9k

>>6388535
The recipe itself is supremely mediocre. A lot of heat, not much flavor (Yes I tried it a couple times, meme food)
But the presentation is honestly beyond cringe inducing.

As a side note: Does anyone have a better spice mix they use? I'm looking for one that hits my particular tastes a little more on the spot.

Thanks

>>6389417

this post is cringe as fuck

>a lot of heat

taste your food

>Does anyone have a better spice mix they use? I'm looking for one that hits my particular tastes a little more on the spot.

how the fuck should i know what 'hits your particular tastes a little more on the spot' for fuck's sake, what does that even mean jesus christ.


i use a blend of chillies and cumin, that's all. sometimes i fold in fresh herbs, lime zest and shit at the end but it doesn't need it. if i want smokiness and i don't have chipotles i use smoked paprika or black cardamom.

>>6388769
God damn that little fucker looks delicious. I want to drown it in booze and crunch the whole thing up whole.

>>6389371
Link for the top center bloody chicken video?

>>6388548
having the controls in the top
>2015
>get burned and greasy controlling the stove
>murica

>>6388625
>>trying to brown ground beef (everyone knows gb doesn't brown well since it releases too much water)
Get better GB then, the lower the fat, the better quality idiot

>>6388747
cooking in sesame oil
wtf

>>6389457
Wow, I can't believe he hasn't removed it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO6e5k6Vvnc

>>6389469

>water = fat

christ this thread is cringe as fuck in and of itself

>>6389473

refined sesame oil is fine

>>6388625
>>trying to brown ground beef (everyone knows gb doesn't brown well since it releases too much water)
well now that's bullshit just don't crowd the pan dumbass

>>6388537
pic?

>>6389480
try it your self kid
buy low and high fat GB and check it out

>>6389492

missing the point you idiot

>>6389496
Not really you idiot
you don't even know wtf you are talking about

>tfw losing interest in the game
>can finally train mage again

>>6388548
ahh the devil tendies

I remember this now

Is Fazoli's cringe?

>>6389504
you are correct

>>6389504

Yes really

Lean mince still contains water and you still need to evaporate it to brown it

all you stupid fucks that can't brown hamburger

try using high enough heat to burn a crust on it without it juicing fucking everywhere

>>6389581
>lel just burn it!
Frat bro "grill master" please go.

>>6389584
oh, so do you actually wish/expect to evenly brown all sides of the strands?

also, browning is just burning protein dick

>>6389609
Please educate yourself before you post on /ck/.

>>6389646
>Please educate yourself
>before you post on /ck/

Oh, no no no no.
None of that stuff.

>>6389371
What the fuck is he doing on the top right picture ? Why is he cutting into the spoon ?

>>6389756
He wanted to test the strength of his ceramic knife by attempting to cut a wooden spoon.

As you can imagine, the knife shattered.

>>6389790

>but it's low carb!

>>6388535
>PSP for mp3 player

>>6389823
That looks fine, but I wouldn't eat it every day.

>>6389823
If you're on a CKD that's a godsend

>>6389818
Here's the full video if you want.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQOnMVnstfE

>>6389835
Chronic Kidney Disease ?

>>6389824
>mp3 player

>>6389839
>oh it's just broke
>ah
>It broke again
>ah
>look at it just keeps breaking
Why does he have an audience ?

>>6389847
I have no idea.

He is the king of cross contamination.

>>6389371
I can't even tell what the fuck is going on in most of these pictures.

>>6389839
What the fuck kind of peeler is that?
For what purpose would you not just buy an aspargus peeler?

>>6389445
Winner Winner
Ortolan Dinner

>>6388564
>Bill O' Reilly approved

But maybe he got laid maybe

Can sunstone post that pic of the guy cooking squirrel and his dog is half shaved?

>>6388704
>>6388614
This is fake. Look at the name of the person who posted that.

>>6389501
haha cringe is right. pedobear? in 2015?

>>6388795
As a proud American I see nothing wrong with this.

>>6390483
the fuck


why?!

>>6388747

Is this the faggot who did that midnight chili recipe? It has the same vibe to it.

God damn. Even those headphones. Bruh whatchu doin!

>>6390945

Never mind. I just noticed the video of the creator of Comical Cuck-ing

The fat dude is even worse because he's copying an already shite style.

>>6388753
Anyone else unreasonably ticked off about this image being in every cringe thread ever?

>>6390483
Both cringed and lol'd. I'd love to see more of these.

>>6390851
>>6390977

It's.... it's an actual cooking video on youtube.

I'm watching it right now.

>>6390851
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGqtjcyxlQ

>>6390984

It actually doesn't look horrific in the video.

I'm oddly amused that the backlash from this video probably made her stop making videos.

>>6390409
O GOD

>>6388548
BENIHANAS UP IN THIS BITCH NIGGA

>>6389474
Goddamn.

>>6389386
Apparently HowToBasic works in a supermarket and only uses recently expired food that would have been otherwise thrown out.

>>6388819
Anyone wanna taste test his shit? There's a torrent somewhere right?

>>6391026
I used his recipe for the pumpkin cheesecake and I kinda liked it, nothing else appealed to me on his website though.

>>6390983
Oh dear god. Link?

>>6389839
>slaps a big black sausage on the counter
"Now, let's make my wife happy"

>>6390984
>>6391030

Shit nigger we made better shit in my high school cooking class


Mmmm mm that day we brought a fuckton of bacon to class, oh lordy have mercy

>>6390994
It's a terrible recipe. I'm sure it's edible it just doesn't make any logical sense.

porkburger

>>6390383
Go on their tumblr, it's still there. They post a fair bit of "freebleeding" OC (at least, it doesn't show up in google images/tineye). Slightly in their defense, apparently they keep all their menstrual blood in jars and someone commissioned them to make some cookies with a bit of it, so they did (at least, that's the story that's been posted on TiA). It doesn't make it much less trash tier, but at least they got paid to do it.

>>6390984
Holy shit. If the oily fucking sauce wasn't bad enough, watching that shitty camerawork is making me motion sick.

>>6388535
God that shit's edgy.

>>6390969
I'm a little angry.

>>6390483
Now I spilled coffee all over myself

>>6390483
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGqtjcyxlQ
>not using any olive oil
>it will give it a different taste
yeah no shit....maybe it wouldn't taste QUITE as shitty?

Nothing here is really an issue. This is dumb. Everything is dumb. I'm dead inside thanks to /ck/

I'm only going eat oats and chicken breasts from now on

>>6388625
>trying to brown ground beef (everyone knows gb doesn't brown well since it releases too much water)

Use a metal fork (fuck your non-stick) to squash the GB untill it's all cooked, so you get small, even grains of cooked GB.

Then you keep stirring with a metal spoon until all the water that came out of the GB has evaporated.

If you didn't use shitty, lean GB, keep stirring, the GB grains will start spitting and popping like bacon does when the fat turns from golden to yellow. If you used lean GB, add some oil.

The GB is done ONLY when every granule has changed from geyish-brown to reddish-dark brown.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnREb-fxiBM&t=20s

>>6388535
Thank fuck.

I've seen this posted before on /ck/ with people genuinely thinking it's a good recipe. It's not even a recipe - it's a lowest common denominator jumbling of badly prepared ingredients made worse with mixing crackers, crappy cheese and throwing away a spice mix to replace them with the exact same brand's same combo of spices. And of course the edgy stickman narrative is the cringiest shit ever, holy fuck.

>>6391026
http://www.cookingcomically.com/?page_id=709
Shit doesn't sound too bad, and includes directions for the completely kitchen-retarded. Still pretty annoying and overly long presentation though.

>>6391038
JUST

>>6391193
CUCK

>>6389474
>seasons the skin flap then throws the skin away
wtf

>>6388537
lol, its alive.., I've got little containers of unknown stuff in the very back of my 'fridge, waiting, patietly, to KILL ME. honestly I was in the hospital a week and electric power was gone.( a bad citcut breaker) but it gave me a chance to clean it out (surani, loin pork chops, a zip lock bag of yellow sqash, in the fresser, fridge? many things and small yougurt containers that at some point,I thought I needed for later, or "hard times", hard times was cleaning that out. it can get obsessive like me breckstone sour cream container, dated 2003 it's 2015. or some empty crusty piclkle jars with maybe okra or long forgten cole slaw or mahap ... god forbid beets who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men or refrigerators... I'll tell you one that knows.. throw the stuff out . some stuff I got rid off even the squirells and crows would not eat

>>6391250
rambling dude...

>>6390984
Knife skills are a thing I forget about having, but here it is, some people really think you're supposed to cut an onion or chop garlic like that. What the fuck.

>>6389839
Did he say he sharpened a serrated knife with a regular sharpener, and that's how he knows it's sharp.

>>6390994

Are you high? She's pouring cans of terrible tomato sauce into a pot and adding powdered garlic and some other random shit. Which apparently takes 11 minutes to explain.

>>6389474

> if there's a bloody spot in your chick, put in the microwave for 1 minute

>>6389386
Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time makes normal food though.

>>6391038

>>6391250
Dammit, Old Rambling Guy, put a trip on already so we can filter your fagginess.

>>6389823
>baconfags

How can anyone enjoy the taste of bacon at all? I can only eat smoked ham anymore.
[spoiler]also bacon is meme food[spoiler]

>>6391682
Saying things are memefoods is a meme

>>6391711
i guess so.

>>6391682
Well aren't you a unique snowflake.
You must be so cool and original.

>>6391579
Get fucked. He's an essential part of /ck/.

>>6391286
My mother refuses to have sharp or chef's knives so I never learned how to use a knife properly, only small and usually dull ones.

>>6388746
That's actually a pretty cool story.

His 2a.m. chilli isn't cringe worthy either. I actually used his as a base to make my own tweaking his recipe a bit.
>corn
>green beans
>in chilli
>lolno.jpg

>>6389376
>cracks me up
>cracks
pls

>>6391042
>>6391296

The recipe is ridiculous but the actual end product doesn't look like the horrible eldritch abomination like in the pictures

>>6391250
>who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men or refrigerators

>>6389904
I think I remember some of them from a 2 hour jack cringe-binge.

>top left
"just a little salsa"
>top middle
Jack attempts to give his audience food poisoning by claiming you put severely undercooked chicken in the microwave for 1 minute.
>top right
Jack attempts to test the strength of his ceramic knife on a wooden spoon. It shatters all over his kitchen
>2nd top left
no idea
>2nd top middle
Jacks automated omelet.
>2nd top right
Jack makes genuinely decent french onion soup and then tips 50lbs of grated cheese ontop
>2nd bottom left
Jack makes "Poor mans lasagne" which for some reason includes penne and a good excuse to use cheap ingredients. (oh, and don't forget an entire tub of coolwhip).
>2nd bottom middle
This is the greatest fucking ABOMINATION he has ever created. He combines every ingredient that should never go together. Jello, peppers, tomatoes and cheese.
>2nd bottom right
Jack makes cheesy garlic bread by adding 1litre of melted butter.
>bottom left
Sugary juice+high cooking temperatures=burnt meat. He soaked his chicken thighs in pineapple juice.
>bottom middle
No idea
>bottom right
No idea

>>6390483
I made my way backwards through the panels to see what went wrong

>1 1/2 cups canola oil

What. The. Fuck.

>>6388747
that kid looks a little like a younger version of joey

>>6392649
>>2nd bottom left
>Jack makes "Poor mans lasagne" which for some reason includes penne and a good excuse to use cheap ingredients. (oh, and don't forget an entire tub of coolwhip).
That was cottage cheese. Don't forget he made it for his kid for school and therefore it had to be vegetarian in case anyone at all there didn't eat meat.

>>6392649
>This is the greatest fucking ABOMINATION he has ever created. He combines every ingredient that should never go together. Jello, peppers, tomatoes and cheese.
>Jello
What the god damn fuck. Does anyone have a link to that video?

>>6388625
fug you are dumb

>>6390483
>1 1/2 cups canola oil

>>6388774
>?

>>6392764
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf_W7As6xbk

>>6389501
I hate this guy's taste in food.

>>6392787
>those ingredients
Oh god why.

>>6390409
Fuck, that's horrible.

>>6389474
>the disappointment on his face when he tries his own chicken
Priceless

>>6392787
>party cheese salad
Every god damn time

>>6390409
>I just ate ground beef, carrots, mushrooms and washed it down with creme
>then I threw it up onto this pasta
>wife me up boys ;^)

>>6392787
If someone brought this to my house, I would be realistically polite but would deeply consider never talking to that person ever again.

>>6392842
*cream
God dammit I should go to bed

>>6392776
Is dog kill?

>>6392787
I want to hate this, but i remember trying a cheese ball with similar ingredients one day at my grandparents church, i was addicted to that shit for weeks, but i wouldnt eat it straight, it was best eaten on a ritz cracker

>>6389371
it all looks so bad.

>>6392877
I imagine he felt better than he's ever felt after that

>>6392883
I've just never seen a dog throw up so much. Like a small handful at most but that's more than human vomit. It looks like diarrhea is shooting out of his mouth.

>>6392878
that stuff sounds disgusting

>>6392889
It was extremely sweet, but wasnt candy store sweet

>>6389823

i'm so sick of the bacon people. yes, bacon is good. yes we eat it sometimes. know it shouldn't go on everything including your fucking cringey t-shirt.

not everything is better with bacon.

>>6392885
This

There is more vomit in that picture than dog

>>6392787
only being blackout drunk and years of inbreeding could lead to this recipe. way 2 go south.

>>6391579
lol i'd rather read his posts over entire threads of people arguing about bacon and cheese and calling each other faggots

Posted this in the "Why do americans salad!?" thread, but I believe it also would fit here.

>be yesterday
>haven't seen my mom in 2 years but she invites me over for easter dinner (we aren't religious but we still do stupid holiday shit sometimes)
>go over and expect it to just be the family
>helping my mom make the food and everything is looking good
>hear knock at the door
>"Oh it must be them!"
>mom's whitetrash friends come over (the son literally doesn't even have a shirt on and the dad/son are both walking in with a budweiser in their hands)
>want to kill myself because I have associated with these asshats before and know it's going to be hell
>fuck it and go back to what I was doing
>hear the mom talking to my mom
>"Oh yea I made some pasta salad and some strawberry cheesecake salad!"
>vomit in my mouth a little bit
>every time I hear strawberry cheesecake salad I go back and remember the fatass bitch making "kit-kat lasagna" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SypF2eM_q8Q [Embed]
>the pasta salad is literally macaroni noodles with some shitty creme sauce that smells like the black death
>strawberry cheesecake salad just looks like a melted cheesecake in a bowl with some hard chunks of something in it

I wanted to kill myself. They stayed for 8 hours when they said they were only going to be there for 2-3. I had to talk to these faggots. Wanted to talk shit about them and tell them to shut the fuck up multiple times but I didn't want to look rude in front of my mom (was raised with very southern values so I never act like an ass or curse in front of my parents). Now I realize why I haven't talked/seen my mom in 2 years.

>>6392932
oh my god you're such a faggot. calm down you might choke on that giant holier-than-thou cock in your mouth

>>6392940
>enabling white trash tendencies
>implying strawberry cheesecake salad isn't even more cringy than kit-kat lasagna
>implying you shouldn't kill yourself

>>6392945
I think he's just addressing the fact that your vagina is so pained by this experience that you felt the need to blubber like a huge bitch in two separate threads. Guaranteed those pieces of trash are more pleasant to be around than you

>>6392955
I'm not blubbering you ignoramus. I'm just sharing my experience with you fags since you wanted cringe material. Maybe you should go back to posting le ebin banana memes on /b/.

>>6392962
Except what you posted isn't cringe, it's a story about how you're such a boring stuck up faggot that your mom needs to invite a load of white garbage over in order to have some semblance of fun for once

>>6392964
You sound like a very mad faggot.

>>6392932
You clearly still live at home but feel the need to insist you haven't "seen your mom in 2 years", which was later amended to "not talking or seeing your mom in 2 years".

You are the progeny of rednecks and are of an inferior genotype; living with your mother is the least of your problems.

>>6389442
Gosh, nonnie.
calm down.

>>6392932
I can't even watch this video.
There is so much wrong in it.
I'm tired and drunk, but seeing what shit people put on youtube and are being successful with, I may as well post my shit.

Is "Fuck you I cook whatever I want, and you are wrong anyway" an acceptable name for a cooking channel on youtube? I'd review vids and verticals to explain how previously youtube recipes are wrong. Being wrong myself may or may not be part of the experience, but looking at linked videos here, I'm pretty sure I'm right on some points.

Or should I just go on youporn/xhamster with "the actually naked chef"?

>>6389474
>moister

in what way does a spice make chicken more moist.

>>6390984
Oh my god. I thought that guy was just kidding about the 1.5 cups of oil.
>you can just skim some off cause you dont need that much fat.
So why in fuck hell would you use that much??? Who told her to do that and why?
>Just deep fry onions and garlic until they burn, then strain the large amount of burn-flavor oil into the canned sauce.
Im thinking she is bat shit insane (that look on her face and sound of her cat lady voice) or she didnt understand the recipe when she learned it "as a little girl". That was a nightmare.

>>6392981
Redneck here, don't include OP with us.

>>6389368
Tell me that's a shop.
I love raw meat with some salt pepper and lemon but with chocolate? Dayum

>>6392958
Jesus christ what is wrong with people.

>>6389371
I wanted to fucking shoot that fat fuck after I saw him raping the steaks with salt

>>6392955
This. Self righteous spergs are the fucking worst.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WwNbLhreKM

>>6389371
link to bottom left pls. I need to see what he was planning to do

>>6392787
I'm glad someone posted it

>those ingredients
>that bizarre combination
>party salad

>>6393137
This kid is a REALLY shitty Spongebob.
Almost got the autism levels right though.

>>6392776
How can one dog hold so much?

>>6392787
i think i almost threw up watching this

>>6392776
A lot of dogs are too dumb to stop eating when they're full. If there's more food, they just keep on eating and stuffing themselves.

>>6388795
ah shit you killed me men, I had to take a shower

>>6392649
someone got a link to bottom left?
cant find it

>>6390483
underrated post

>>6393224
Here you go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0NOgQK46ts

>>6391431
i love that one because its over the top but the shit turns out normal

>>6390409
That actually looks pretty good.

>>6392787
jesus fuck i just saw this in my toilet 5 minutes ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niJnjpYbAXU

>>6393189
now i want 5 guys but its too far and closing soon

>>6389371
Is that blood ??? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>6391197
MY

>>6389469
>the lower the fat, the better quality idiot
Hahahahahaha this fucking thread is so bad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4zw99VsoMA

>it's not your traditional macaroni salad

>>6388706
I'm digging the filename

/fit/ here, thought you guys might enjoy this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsT9_VSaEHA

>>6391286

I always see a lot of people bitching about the way she cuts her vegetables when that vid is posted and it's kinda...not a whole lot different from how I do it. Which means I can assume I'm doing something horribly wrong. My parents didn't cook and I'm entirely self taught so I'm sure I'm doing lots of things wrong. Any good youtube vids or guides on knife skills?

>>6390409
Every time I see this I'm shocked by how much that looks like cat vomit.

>>6392787
MomAnon here.

>inb4 tits or gtfo

Been on near-obsessively since the Boston Bombings. Yes, I'm an INTJ. I get some good, honest laughs from /b/, love the white knight raids (Jerkin' Joes and the kid who didntknooooo) and think that what was done for Dusty the Cat was an extremely proud moment in the history of 4chan.

Only rarely do I identify myself. It's simply not necessary most of the time. Also don't want to be called attention whore, be flooded with tits or gtfo, or other summer-level bullshit.

I also lurk in /pol/ and /int/. Might have to head over to /fit/ one day, stretch my cables. Anyway this looks bad.

>>6393366
fucking hell man
just watch some martin yan/gordon ramsay or really any other recognizable chef that isn't a total hack and you'll be fine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HV8FPk5qN9k for example

>>6393365
>storing fat on your forehead

>>6389371
ONE STICK OF BUTTER FOR ONE ONION!!!

>>6388706
i know this feel

>>6388747
did he just make a hotdog and ramen omelet?

>>6393365
How did I know what this was from jus tthe title

>>6393137
that guy literally stole the video from doubleswee
what a faggot

>>6392945
>weeashit

It all makes sense now

>>6393351
I don't see anything wrong with this? What's the problem? Because the lady is fat? Stop being a fat shaming asshole like everyone else on this site. I'm sure the salad tastes good too.

>>6393377
is this copy pasta? Sounds like it is. If not, get outta here, Simply Sara.

>>6393253
Holy fucking shit.

>>6393439
>

>>6392787
>puts trace vegetables in pudding
>"it's a salad!"

>>6393471
>vivian james
>no blackup, mongler, the smiley black guy, snacks
you can tell a newfag made this

>>6392932
>how many calories do you think this has
>5000
>daughter: 4

>>6388747
confident smile 10/10

>>6393471
What is that bastard child doing at the funeral?

>>6390383
no it isnt
https://vimeo.com/57814603

>>6392787
>crushed pineapples

every fucking time.

>>6393295
Didn't bear claw, leave the root on for helping it stay together, or save the skin for stock, but overall not the worst video. Although I thought she'd cut the tip of her thumb off every cut.

>>6388753
This is in no way cringe. This is one of the most glorious things to ever happen on /ck/.

>>6391038

>>6392787
This reminds me of those horrifying Cracked articles where some dude made a bunch of 50s-60s gelatin-based recipes.

>>6393471
>newfags shoving memes that haven't existed more than five years into an image about moot
>you saved this on reddit
fuck off, retard

>>6393602
Watch how she sharpens her knives
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1fUFbij2s0

>>6388564
but really, i dont get it

>>6393203
It's a tardog, it's bigger in the inside.

>>6393471
I recognize all the dank memes here except the redhead girl. Who's she?

>>6394164
Some gamer manchild shit you're better off having never heard of

>>6392932
I bet kit kat lasagna tastes hella good

>>6393365

>>6393739
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1fUFbij2s0
this woman should be shot, endangering people like that.

I am actually mad, but watching more. They are all equally terrible.

>>6388564
That looks fucking delicious, and I bet it tastes that way too. Just is missing fresh mint in the herb blend.

>>6393439
This is probably baint, but that "salad" contains mostly mayonnaise. It's more of a mayonnaise soup than a salad. I bet she even thinks it's healthy too.

Why are bound salads even allowed to be called salads?

hello wildcats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKxhI4I5kq8

>>6393739
> "sharpening" steel
>not calling it a honing steel
>"it refines the edge"
no it doesn't, it realigns a rolled edge
>using a grooved steel and not a smooth or ceramic one
>mfw she starts "sharpening"
>45 degree angle

>>6388535
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cppOojKBNko

This is positively the most horrible and cringeworthy of them all

>>6394286
she's taking the piss, she has to be.

>>6393739
Everyone ITT, please report this dangerous video.

>>6394286
Those teeth. Anon please hold me, I'm scared.

>>6390409
Reminds me of this.

>>6394286

What the fuck did i just witness? Why the fuck would you boil doritos? I mean she could just piss in a bowl and add shrimp to it and call it consomme.

>>6394311
How do you even get to this point?

>>6393439

She mixes pasta, mayonnaise with sugar and sweetened condensed milk and calls it salad... and you see nothing wrong with that?

>>6394344
By not brushing your teeth nigger

>>6394347
for like 30 years maybe

>>6392787
No surprise it's that guy. He is the most depressingly plebeian person on youtube.

>>6388705
>guy is wearing his watch with the face on the inside of his wrist like a jackfuck
You got something to say, bitch nigga?

>>6388746
His voice is exactly what I expected.

This monotone autistic middle aged guy who has an opinion of himself that....
>Using a leaning lamp for lighting.
>Chopping crackers.

Why is murder illegal again?

>>6388746
he's got a relaxing voice

>>6389839
How can people be this stupid?

I mean, as if you needed another reason for eugenics.

>>6390984
>4:50
She came so close to losing a finger.

>>6394343
She simply has to be taking the piss.. Funny thing is I bet you could make a fucking delicious corn consomme out of shit that isn't trash tier stoner/gamer 'fuel'...

>in searching for corn consomme, it this dorito recipe that comes up in the first 5 results, twice (using differing search terms).
>i don't think she is taking the piss

Fuck my life and the total pretentious faggotry associated with how I make my living. I might just start taking cocks and call it a day...

>>6388746

I bet he's a cuck.

>>6389839
Watch his aero blade one
>OH NO THIS SERRATED KNIFE CUT MY HARDWOOD BOARD
A) no shit
B) bamboo is a grass, not a tree you twat.

>>6394347
I rarely brush, maybe a few times a year.
My teeth are fine.

>>6391038
nobody cared who i was until i put on the trunk

>>6394657
Same here

>>6392649
>Jack attempts to test the strength of his ceramic knife on a wooden spoon. It shatters all over his kitchen
link?

>>6394841
Here you go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQOnMVnstfE

>>6388535
What's wrong with this chili? I ate it and thought it tasted ok, then again this is the only chili I've ever eaten

>>6389474
triggered
remove this

>>6394936

first he tells you to throw out the spice packet. That's good advice.

then he tells you to replace the spice packet with the same shit-tier flavorless crap that was in the spice packet to begin with.
That's bad advice.

Chili ought to be cooked with a base of chili peppers. Not powdered shit. Actual, whole, chilies.

>>6389474
As soon as the cameras stopped rolling you know fatty here dove right into all that chicken skin he pulled off

>>6394208
>waaahhhh stop liking what I don't like

>>6395011
I can't afford cjilies, though.

>>6389458
>having the controls in the top
i feel you, or at least i used to...

until i had kids.

>>6388715
>that last ditch effort to save the last dog
every time

Does ck have dubs

>>6392964
Lel fucking #rekt

>>6393137
>wah where's my meat
>would you like a bite
every time

>>6390483
HAHAHAHA......I'm glad my dastardly, foul, experiment has lived on in vertical form. Goddamn, that was the nastiest shit I've ever willingly cooked.

That shitty cooking that clearly staged freak out
HAMBURGER PIE MELTDOWN!: https://youtu.be/MINloISNSX0

>>6393471
>Vivian
>feel guy
>no Cock Mongler
>no Desu
>no happy negro
>no Snacks
You can tell the guy started using this site no more than 3 years ago.
Also,
>reddit

>>6395298
not at all

just that its all fat and sugar
it probably tastes pretty good even if its a bit too heavy

>>6389501
hes poking fun at them

hes got to be

>>6391854
That dank meme was epic. XD

>>6388692
>[insert punchy-sounding catchphrase from the nineties from the mouth of a frowny sulky man getting in-yo-face widdit]. Booyeah!
The recipe being pretty average is the injury, but it's a pig for the hokey red lipstick of the desperate author's insert to be smeared onto, and that carries it to insult.

>>6388747
It's important to use a lot of eggs for stuff like this, else it gets burnt easily. Writing cock then x-ing it is why inducing.

>>6388753
Jesus christ I fucking died. The remark about the ramen questioning its existence, motherfucker.

>>6389371
>chopping up a spoon
lost it

>>6390984
She's like Chris-chan's distant, marginally more-presentable aunt. Listen to the cadence-less-ness of her voice, and the high, righteous intonation whenever she says "I" or her own name.

>"And then we STIR"
>stabs the bottom of the pan with spoon and scrapes a bit, all the motion from the elbow

>>6390984
>a random break in the middle of a youtube video
>those audible pauses while she forgets what she is doing near the end
>she says the food looks JAST RIGHT while the oil literally slides right off the past to the bottom of the bowl with each stir

>>6388747
>ramen
What is it with ramen and people who hate food?

>>6392787
Shitty reality tv shows where they make celebrities eat gross things could learn something from this man.

>"pudding effect"

>>6394311
It's not just the state of the teeth that's shocking. That man has literally no jaws. He has the narrowest and most recessive set of arches I've ever seen. Is he disabled and incapable of normal self-conduct? That's the only reason I can imagine for have such poor development.

Make way for cringe queen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IM0v-pHWoY

>>6397608
>tfw all her videos features "with cerebral palsy"
>tfw I was expecting it to be a guest appearance

>>6394286
>that disgusting liquid doritos
>that teeth
>the way the doritos package comes out the sack