/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Also: girl here, considering taking a guy on a date and not letting him know what he's in for. Only downside would be I couldn't livepost about it because it would be rude, but I would deliver with any requests and suggestions you guys have.

please do.

O yes, please

>>6042789

Be super specific about preparation when you order. Dressing on the side, meat perfectly medium-rare, pizza cut into 14 slices, etc.

Be fucking autistic about it and send stuff back when it's not perfect, then watch the chaos. Do this several times, starting with small things (There's too much ice in my drink, there's a lemon seed in it, I wanted a bendy straw) and step it up slowly (my burger is overcooked, my pizza has too much garlic, is this butter cruelty free?). Be polite and kill them with kindness to draw it out as long as you can without them kicking you out.

Watch them get frustrated, then frantic. When you feel the end approaching, call one of them over and get a funny look on your face, then ask, "this pizza crust was gluten free right? I'm deathly allergic to gluten." When they say no, start to panic and accuse them of poisoning you. Say it's illegal to serve gluten without warning signs posted around the restaurant. Act like you're dying. They'll kick you out.

Post proof that they kicked out a girl they thought was dying after poisoning her, giving new life to internet shitstorm.
???
Profit.

>>6042915
hilarious. should i bring a guy and get double keks when he realizes i'm out of my fucking mind or just go alone and live post this?

I might be able to do both if I tell him I write a column for a food review site or something.

>>6042789
OP what kinda cameras or phones or devices you have? the more things that you can have to record audio or video running, the better.
>>6042792
>>6042970
just go with a guy from /ck/

>>6042976
I have a Samsung Galaxy 3... I wasn't planning on recording but I might be able to audio record and potentially film something if they actually go psycho on me and kick me out.

I think it'd be two difficult to arrange that but I have plenty of guys that I could get. Could even let you guys pick one out who seems the most oblivious to what's about to happen.

You should order exactly what Gordon ordered on his first visit, and complain about the exact same things as he did.

>>6042970

If you take him and he's not in on it, he might walk out once he realizes you're batshit insane. That could be good or bad for your schtick, depending on how you want to play it.

If you take him and get him in on it, you'll get some combo hit keks. He can back you up. If he has a sense of humor and understands your motivations, it might be nice to have a partner in crime.

If you go alone, you should wait around for a little bit before ordering, saying you're waiting for someone. Look around and act anxious, then slowly get sad. Ask if they've seen a man matching you "date's" description. Make it obvious you're being stood up. This would be a good time to pull the drink complaints, so just get an ice water and sit around for half an hour, nitpicking, before giving up and ordering on your own. They'll get irritated that you're taking up space and it will place most of their attention on you when you finally order. Plus if you can garner some sympathy in the beginning it may draw the ordeal out more, making the inevitable snap that much better.

>>6042792
>I couldn't livepost about it because it would be rude
Well I'd take you out solely on the fact that you wouldn't be fucking with your phone half of the time

>>6042997
dear god please do this and record the audio

>>6042997

oh my god this

also just tell him op, he'll probably think it's funny

>>6043020
this

>>6042789
Go alone. It would be cruel to take some unsuspecting guy.

>>6042997
this

Please remember, OP.
For all that you might have an experience you can tell others about, you might also make the news when one of those 2 wingnuts stabs you.

>>6042992
hmm do you have any old phones? can always just set them to record audio only

>>6042997
so much this lol

>>6042792
>considering taking a guy on a date and not letting him know what he's in for.
I'd leave because I would misinterpret it as rudeness if I wasn't in on it, but would think it was the best thing ever if I knew you were fucking with some stupid cunts.

>>6043028
goddamn it i can't decide now. i don't know if they'd pick up on it and i could be way more nitpicky if i did it my own way.

>>6043015
>>6043042
>>6043044
You guys really don't think this won't be twice as hilarious if I get attacked by crazy restaurant owners and take a guy on the worst date of his life?

captcha: ndsofic blood

>>6043077
>You guys really don't think this won't be twice as hilarious if take a guy on the worst date of his life?

I think it would be mean spirited and cheap.

>>6043077
Why are you still pussy footing around? You gonna go do this or what?

>>6043084
>inb4 OP is a fat girl with butterteeth

>>6043077
>You guys really don't think this won't be twice as hilarious if I get attacked by crazy restaurant owners and take a guy on the worst date of his life?
It is way better

ignore the moralfag newfags

>>6042792
>I couldn't livepost about it because it would be rude

Also, if Amy catches you, she'll rip your still beating heart out.

>>6042792
livestream it silly

>>6043085
Probably. As a /ck/ oldtimer, id love nothing more than to go on a joke date at Amy's baking company with some weird ck slag. Itd be funny. OP you should find someone here to go with, dont fuck over some poor dude date there, unless you hate him or think he'll appreciate the humor.

>>6043097
would only be possible if 'online yelper haters' wasn't a thing at this place. if i even thought of bringing my laptop in i would immediately be thrown out. plus would be difficult to explain to my date who thinks things are going to be normal.

also here's a photo of me, i'll timestamp later when i get ready to leave.

>>6043102
where's your nose?

>>6043102
damn you got a tiny mouth

>>6043102
Grill looks pretty damn good

>>6043102
You look like one of those batshit women. Cute, but batshit. Have fun fucking with those little boys.

My first unlucky bastard candidate knew what the restaurant was and actually downright refused to go. Messaging a few more guys now....

>>6043077
No. And we get it, you're a girl. Now stop with whole date idea. Take out a friend or even better find someone from /ck/ to go with because they would be in on it and hopefully know their food enough to act super picky

Also this OP >>6043082

>>6042915
>I wanted a bendy straw

>>6042970
>should I use another person for my own amusement.

You shouldn't even do this cunt, you might start people sympathizing for this other cunt.

>>6043102
livestream is on phones

>>6043102
Stop with the attention whoring. You have a good thread, so dont ruin it by posting pics of yourself and talking about your potential date

Just record it and post it

To get video
>wear a shirt with a pocket in it
>make sure phone is fully charged
>put phone in pocket
>cut small hole large enough for the camera to see through your shirt
>hit record before you go inside and then let the shitstorm begin
even if it doesn't end up being particularly lolsy or epic, still post it because I want to see what these people are like when they're not on camera

guys i hit the fucking jackpot, this guy agreed to go with me.

tell me this won't be hilarious.

>>6043119
Don't take someone who isn't in on it. You can't predict what they'll do and they could ruin it

Also, no one cares about your dates

>Take. A. Fucking. Friend.

>Have. Them. In. On. It.

>>6043119
Lol you are crazy. If I lived in phoenix id go with you and help fuck with them.

>>6043157
Font fuck the guy over. Stop being a cunt

>>6043157
cyka
blyat

>>6043164
*dont

>>6043157
Lol what a fagglord, he deserves a trip to Amy's. You better not fucking have sex with him.

>>6043173
>>6043165
>>6043164
what did I miss

>>6043173
>he thinks OP won't fuck him

maximum overkek

>>6043176
some sad emo looking faggot

>>6043176
She posted the profile of some poor guy she wanted to take to the worst date of his life and he was emo looking

>>6043176

>>6043176
There's a fat redhead catfishing a russian immigrant

The best one I know at driving people at restaurants nuts is my younger brother. He'll order what he wants regardless of whether the restaurant even serves it.

One night at IHOP, he tried ordering a pizza. After assuring him several times that they couldn't fix a pizza there, he left. A little while later he came back with a pizza from a pizza place next door. The waitresses wouldn't let him bring it in and eat it. A little while later I wanted a refill on my coffee and couldn't find a waitress at all. I got up and walked around the place and the only IHOP employee there was the cook. When I looked out the window, the reason was clear -- all the waitresses were outside sitting on the tailgate of his pickup with him eating pizza and drinking beer.

>>6043190
/thread

I'm worried one of you moral fags are going to fuck this up, so I took down his profile. Here's his photo. He's into anime and doesn't like bullies.

>The most private thing I’m willing to admit
> I don't have a soul
Sounds about right, OP.

>>6043190
>fat
>implying you wouldn't

>>6043202
That's a trap.

>>6043202
you guys are brutal, be good or I'll do this anyway and not share it with you.

>>6043202
>implying I'm not full /r9k/

>>6043198
10/10

>>6043186
>>6043198

people still dress like this?

>>6043202

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>6043202
>taking full body selfies in public
god... you're one of those...

>>6043102
Shelby? You slut.

>>6043198
He seems nice. Maybe you two will get married.

>>6043206
If you want old, burly men with tattoos and big dicks, you should move that up to your default pic. Also post tits, it's the rules.

>>6043186
Looks like a real winner there OP

>gauged ears
>make up
>raves
>writing poems
>doctor who

>>6043206
Stop attention whoring and threatening. It means nothing to us

>>6043186
Wow he sure seems humble.

>>6043229
that's the fucking point, dumbass. if i took anyone half decent on this type of date they'd walk out right away. We're looking for top fucking kek here so I picked the worst dude I could find.

>>6043202
I'm so, so, sorry in advance for what is about to happen. Trolls are going to come into the thread and they will be saying some very hurtful things about you. They will call you some very hurtful names. But none of those things are true. How could they possibly know? How could they possibly know how beautiful you really are? How sweet and compassionate you are? I'm so sorry about them, please do not let them hurt you.

>mfw thinking about you hurting

>>6043235
yup he looks perfect for the date I think, too beta to ever actually leave, if anything he'll provide more keks for 'standing up to bully' for you lol

This kid is making it real difficult for me.
>already being rude texting me
>doesn't have a car
>no money

Luckily >>6043255 is spot on and this is going to be fun enough to excuse.

>>6043259
why dont you have a car or money

>>6043262
the guy doesn't, not me.

Even if he is the shittiest guy around, why take someone on a fake date? I couldn't imagine a crueler joke. Just take a friend and both have a good time instead of making this random guy feel awful. That's some high school bully shit.

>>6043264
then why do you care

>>6043266
because i have to pick him up and fucking pay for him??

>>6043266
Are you drunk?

>>6043270
wow sexist much?

>>6043259

Nobody gives a shit about your date.

You're a fool for giving money to a shit company "because it's ironic."

>>6043264
>>6043270
kek at all the moralfags in the thread OP

they're just mad because they're betas and would be 'hurt' if this happened to them lol

>>6043274

that doesn't necessarily mean that she expected him to pay, but that she doesn't want to pay for him, splitting checks is perfectly normal and fine

>>6043289
This

So, where's the tits?

>>6043289
then it's not a date

This thread started out pretty funny because from everything we've seen, the people at ABC are cunts. But now you want to string along some lonely dude who thinks he will be going on a legit date just so you can get some laughs and he will leave dejected. And to someone who claims to dislike bullies no less. It seems like your quest is now less focused on trolling ABC and more about fucking with whatever guy is unlucky enough to be chosen.

Sometimes I don't like how it feels like I'm getting older but I take solace in the fact that I'm too respectful and mature to pull something like this.

>>6043289
Yeah I've been dating a girl for almost a year and we still split the check.

>>6043202
I-I'd go with you on this date.

>>6043298
>tfw too ugly to be led on by girls

>>6043298
>im too respectful and mature

what are you doing on 4chan?

quicking cocking about OP, and just do it, no one gives a fuck who you take with you, only how youre going to fuck with ABC.

>>6043297
Shut the fuck up

>>6043310
ding ding ding

>>6043314
why so hostile?

>>6043270
Tough shit, you should be paying, regardless of if you're a girl. You're the one setting this up.

>>6043312
>thinking omen are capable of doing anything without peacocking about and trying to score internet points

Alright, thread has been derailed too much and this is going to cost me too much overall since the emo shitstain has no money. I'm leaving this thread and I'll go alone to lunch sometime this week on my own. Sorry you had to wreck this, /ck/

>>6043318
You're a faggot

>>6043297

lol what, I've split bills on dates before

that's not some requirement for it to be a date

>>6043327
fuck, i always forget these are women were dealing with. thanks for the reminder anon.

>>6043297
Normal people alternate between treating eachother and splitting it. It's a comfort thing as a girl to pay her half on the first date because then she feels less obligated to put out

>>6043331
>>6043333
MAXIMUM AYY LMAOING

op refused to deliver, or show tits and you played right into her hands kek

>>6043298
Samy is gonna beat up Nikolai when he tries to go full cykablyat anime on him for not bringing OP a bendy straw

>>6043298
This

>>6043327
No, just the attention whoring ones. The rest you never know are women because they don't feel the need to state their gender and post like any other Anon

>>6043331
>OP is confirmed for neckbeard pretending to be a girl for attention
>didn't deliver because faggot

>>6043348
that goes without saying

there are no girls on the internet for a reason m8

>>6043102
are you corean

>>6043365
are you blind?

>this fucking thread

why are you all throwing attention at this fantasising idiot

>>6043372
she looks like a gook who's had a dozen plastic surgeries

>>6043381
No, she's probably Irish or German.

>>6043348
Winner. Half of this thread could be female and we'd never know.

>>6043327
b-but a peacock is male...

>>6043381

no she doesn't, she just has winged eyeliner

>>6043348
>tfw I try to pretend I'm a male most of the time but then I freudian slip and say something like "my girlfriend, he likes to play vidya" or "I need pads for my girlfriend because she doesn't have her car or some crap"

>>6043400
>she just has winged eyeliner
are you joking me

even albinos are not that white

>>6043405
>White people aren't white
>Yellow people are
What

>>6043405

are you too retarded to see that there's obviously a filter on the picture which is why she looks like that?

>>6043410
Are you just pretending to be retarded or something?

>>6043420
>brown eyebrows
>Asian
Are you?

>>6043425
>You can't change the colors of your eyebrows

>>6043430
Who the fuck changes the color of their eyebrows? This chick ain't lady Gaga.

come on /ck/

get your shit together

this isn't what we're about guys

you're better than this

we are

>>6043430

wut? I'm white as fuck and I have very dark brown eyebrows and hair

>>6043442

Las malvinas fueron, son, y siempre seran argentinas guey!

>>6042789
Spam her with this

Dear women:
SHUT YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING MOUTHS, CUNTS! YOU ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS! YOU ARE NOT SMART, WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! THE ONLY THING YOU'RE GOOD FOR IS TO SHOW YOUR TITS AND ASS AND TO CARRY AROUND A FEW FUCKING HOLES THAT FEEL GOOD WHEN WRAPPED AROUND MY GODDAMN COCK!
That's right, all a women is is a vessel for a cunt, mouth and asshole that are just begging to get fucking filled with cock. Women are the useless skin around a cunt. Goddamn bitches, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES YOU! YOU'RE JUST A SEX TOY MADE OF MEAT FOR GUYS TO ENJOY! THAT IS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR EXISTANCE, TO BE USED LIKE A FLESHLIGHT WITH ARMS AND LEGS THAT MOANS! *THAT'S IT*
Your life is fucking worthless you goddamn sluts. Every day thousands of women around the world have their clits cut off, get raped and beaten.In the USA women get killed and raped daily, yet you fucking dumb cunts still spend all of your cash just to look pretty enough so one of us superior males will fuck your goddamn holes. YOU BITCHES LOVE COCK *THAT* MUCH AND YET YOU CRY WHEN A GUY GIVES IT TO YOU AND CALL IT RAPE? FUCK YOU! GO BACK TO SHOWING TITS AND GETTING FUCKED AND NEVER OPEN YOUR MOUTHS AGAIN... 'cept to take cock.

>>6043451
Havin' fun being 12?

>>6043450

but I'm irish

>>6043401
This. No-one gets called an attention whore for revealing that they're male (unless they're a faggot and post about their boyfriend, and then only because people _assume_ it's a girl).

>>6043460
Literally neanderthal.

>>6043451
wow this is edgy as fuck

ITT, /ck/ learns the hard way why the only response to a girl here is TITS OR GTFO

>>6042997
Fukken this

>>6043194
>Amy's baking company

underrated post

>

>arranging a date with an ugly dude for the purposes of this excursion to amy's baking company

I don't understand why. Are you a psychopath? Do you find enjoyment in wasting the time of innocent people? You could just arrange a date with some normal looking 6/10 guy who's on par with you and have a fun date together as both of you fuck with them. I'm sure plenty of people would go along with this even as a first date.

>going to this place
>supporting this reality TV shit show that caused Ramsey to shut down kitchen nightmares entirely
>actually buying in to a publicity stunt by retarded people who need to be killed.

Fuck, I wish someone would try to drug them with chlorine insteaf of the furries.

>>6042997
holy fuck this. Bonus points if you wear a blue vneck, be subtle

>>6044123
Wait, my girlfriend and I may not be in the know enough here... Is the show cancelled?

>>6044146
No, it was just that one episode. Ramsey basically said "you're beyond hope" and walked out of the restaurant, the first time he'd ever done that on Kitchen Nightmares. It was that bad.

>>6044153
>>6044146
No, he canceled the entire show. He said it was 'due to people taking advantage of the premise' or something similar. Did you not here about it? There's no more Kitchen Nightmares.

>>6044153
I remember this but my girlfriend hasn't seen anything about it being 'over' and neither have I. I don't really read up on things as much as her though so I'd be really bummed out if the show was over after so many great episodes!
>>6044159
Read above but also, could you provide where you are getting this so I can check it out. Not calling you out but I can't find anything online stating what you have. Thanks in advance!

>watching the episode now
>tfw think gordon's server that he tips on the first day is pretty qt

>>6044192
http://www.gordonramsay.com/news/announcement/

I can try to look for it, but in an interview when asked why he was talking about the show losing it's message and people taking advantage of it. Apparently a lot of places were starting to lie about bad business/needing help for free makeovers/publicity.

Amy's Baking Company did that for publicity and it's fucking disgusting.

>>6044200
>think gordon's server that he tips on the first day is pretty qt

this

>>6044210
>the part when she explains to gordon how she doesn't get tipped out
>those facial expressions
>tfw would give her a tip

>>6044209
Fuck, Amanda is going to be super sad... We were just watching the travel show Great Escape and talking about how much we liked his shows and this one was her favorite. Welp, just gonna have to look out for the next new one and hope the Masterchef show and Hell's Kitchen will fill the void until. Thanks for the kick in the pants and the guide to ethic and doing things well and correctly, Gordon.

>>6042997
I want this so fucking bad.

>>6044225
It's a real shame. Fuck people who take advantage of shit and ruin it. I hate products of stupidity like this, they is no reason for this shithole to be famous and these dumbasses raking in money from sensationalist tourist crap.

>>6044250
>raking in money

How the fuck are they making money off what happened? They were already pariahs. What new influx of customers is there that wants low-quality food and to be yelled at by some shrill, neurotic harpie and her angry kebab manlet husband?

>>6044267
>kebab
oddly enough, he's israeli. And with the whole tipping shit, he lives up to the sterotype pretty well

>>6044267
They're a tourist spot now though, people go for the show not the dinner. They're basically a comedy act. A lot of people go just for entertainment or to say they did.

>>6044269
>israeli
Well that answers everything about the situation, then. Plenty of places on KN fail even with Gordon's help, but of course a place run by one of G-d's chosen somehow flourishes on publicity alone. It's probably a dream come true for Samy to be able to make a business out of insulting the dumbass goyim that want to be hip and trendy.

>>6043205
I agree. Note the bulge in the wrong place and the lack of bulges in the right place.

>>6044297
Yup, he's also a criminal piece of shit, research on him, he's apparently being deported back to israel and is banned from entering the uk and france for drug related charges, hope he gets a stroke

>>6044307
>israeli
>criminal

Shocking.

>>6042915
You're fucking with the unfortunate staff there, not Amy.

>>6043194
Is your brother named Paul? I know a guy who does shit like that.

>>6044200
>pretty qt
More like perfect gf material
10/10 would marry

>>6043205
Would still fuck.

As someone that comes here occasionally for alcohol threads and random questions, what is this place?

>>6042997

sweet jesus please do this

update?

>>6043646
>>>/b/

You don't even understand the meaning of the saying anyway so it's not like I'm surprised you're new or anything.

I don't watch Kitchen Nightmares. Can someone give me context?

Please excuse me, I am a faggot.

Also, enjoy being in Phoenix, OP. I'm a native. Get good Mexican food ASAP.

>>6049544
>>>/reddit/
>>>/reddit/
>>>/reddit/

Anyone paying any mind to this attention whore pls go and stay go.

Sage for the greater good of /ck/ and move along.

>>6049578

Lulz. You're so new. Are you here for the epic memez and to talk about the sirachas?

I've lived in Scottsdale since August, and I've yet to go. I should really get around to it some day

>>6043646
Someone likes to sleep alone..

>>6043523
cant talk for everyone, but gender is rarely a topic.
for instance, for this prank, gender was irrelevant.
its the same type of cancer with stormfags, radical vegans, atheists, furfags, fanatics, mudslimes, rappers, etc.
they add irrelevant information to a topic that was perfectly fine without and warp the thread from something that was enjoyable to a trollfest.

>>6042997

oh god, just do this, please!