/ck/ - Food & Cooking

in loaf wit dat brad

I loaf you, Brad. A toast to Brad!

what a crumby thread. I'd be ryeing if I said I liked it. I crust all of you feel the same way

When bread is heated up, it becomes toast. The machines used to toast toast are called toasters. The people who use the machines are called toasters. The machines become toasty from toasting the bread, as does the bread. The operators also get warm from using the machines.

So, toasty toasters toast toasty toast with toasty toasters

>>5713693
go kill yourself, Jesus Christ

>>5713695
>jesus christ
>kill yourself
I'll do that. Be right bake. Await my second crumbing, k? I hope this makes you happy. I wouldn't want to sourdough our relationship.

>>5713695

ketofag detected

toasting brad

>>5713724
Nope I love bread. Just hate that asshole with his goddamn puns.

>this thread

>>5713729
I once entered a pun-making contest. I submitted a bunch of'em but didn't make it past the preliminaries. I thought a few or at least one would get me through but no pun in ten did.

>>5713672
Sup brad, you son of a bun. Haven't seen you in a dough's age.

>>5713739
If I kill myself, it's on your fucking hands

>>5713743
No! Donut do it! If you do, I'll batter myself about it. If you go ahead, we'll need some steamy proof, you know. It's the yeast you can dough.

>>5713672

Doesn't look dark enough. Inside probably isn't properly dried out. Still, cool brad.

>>5713759

If they find a crumb of evidence pointing to you, you're going to be on pa-roll for ages

>>5713774
Proof it.

>>5713787
I'm not allowed to, it's strictly on a knead-to-know basis.

I am crying right now.

>>5713717
>my second crumbing
Pffffftttt

>>5713672
T-then you're my real father?

>>5713804
Please. Do you know how many loaves of crumb I've shot today? I've been masterbaking like you wouldn't believe.

>>5713743
Sounds like we got a rise out of you. At yeast we can do that much.

>>5713816
I delivered you into the womb of my oven.

Is this a bread thread or a pun thread? Anyway, this what is left of a loaf of olive bread I made yesterday.

>>5713977
Rye not both?

How 2 make hardcrust bread with a soft inside??

I'm shit at making bread obviously but the times I tried I either got hard crust with a compressed inside or a completely soft bread that had no crust at all

>>5713993
Higher baking temps of hard crust. More leavening power (sugar/honey assuming you leaven with yeast) for less dense bread.

>>5713990
Because of raisins.

>>5713717
HAHHAAHA

JESUS

>>5713717
Thus baked zarathustra

>bake a loaf of bread
>try to find bread thread to post picture
>find this thread
>lolwot?

bread puns eh? rye the fuck not?

>>5713672
What are some good bread books that cover everything? I want to know how to do them but also why you do/add the things you do, Bakers percentages for lots of times of bread, How to vary different recipes etc without having to have a specific recipe for each bread

>>5713672
>I made brad
What a coincidence.

Sourdough/cast iron Dutch oven master race reporting in. Just look at that delicious crusty bastard.

>>5715018
"Bread: A Baker's Book of Techniques and Recipes" by Jeffrey Hamelman would fit this bill.

Another is "The Bread Baker's Apprentice" By Peter Reinhart

Picture is a less recent bread, sourdough vienna pan bread.

Why do people in these threads never say what they do with the bread? Or do you just bake and then feed to the birds

>>5715050
/nonplused

I ate it, you fucking retard. Spread with butter and jam or made sammiches out of. That is the fate of most of my bread. There were no leftovers.

>>5715056
>sammiches
Dumb

>>5715044
I'd eat the fuck out of that sourdough. Looks awesome.

>>5715050
seriously? you fukin eat it. Sandwiches, toast, dipped in runny eggs for breakfast, served as part of a meat/cheese plate.

or with lox and schmear in the case of this picture, which was taken at my old work when I was doing night baker shifts.

>>5715061
/looks wounded

I *like* sammiches, you Communist bastard.

>>5715062
No-knead artisanal breads are the bachelor's friend (along with Dutch ovens). They are so easy to make and so good.

>>5715047
I was looking at those earlier which would you recommend?

Was also looking at Crust and Crumb, Bread Bakers Bible, Bread: A Baker's Book of Techniques and Recipes, and Bernard Claytons New Complete Book of Breads any experience with these?

>>5715075
type out sandwich or I'll reach through the Internet and slap you cunt

>>5715104
>slap you cunt
Commas are our friends.

>>5715106
Commas, are our friends*

>>5715108
very funny

>>5715063
how about i shove my loaf up your ass?

how to into sourdough

>>5715122
>insult someone
>immediately ask for help

>>5715124
>what is tough lovin

>>5715138
>lel i was only pretending

>>5715141
>he wants a loaf up his ass too

I made some bread too.

>>5715077
>Hamelman
I really suggest this one for what you're going for, good chapter on sourdoughs too.

I'm still proud of this. My mother, the amazing cook she is, can't make breads or pastries from scratch (including pie crusts). She always said it was really hard to get right, but the recipe I followed was straight forward.

>>5715278
I'm convinced that Yeast just prefer working with men.

>>5715278
At least that's not the yeast of my problems.

>>5713672
>>5713724
>>5715044
>>5715047
>>5715063
>>5715170
>>5715278
I would eat these breads.

All other bread posts can be ignored.

>>5715390
What has your jimmies in such a rustle?

>>5715364
Nothing worse than burnt bread.

>>5715407
>He doesn't like crusty bread

Fucking Heretic. I bed you don't like crustini either.

>>5715170
Would not eat.

I made dis

>>5713733
That's usually what I'm dressed in

Oh hey we made bread too
It's a bit too salty, but that should be ok

>>5715571
the fact that the places left with no eggwash after oven spring didn't even remotely brown worries me, how long did you ferment?

>>5716461
Try to get better at folding the loaf so it's prettier.

>>5715075
>artisanal
I'd call them rustic, unless you're an artisan.

>>5716470
Why should i care about it's appearence? It's what it's inside that counts!

>>5716485

>>5716470
>>5716489
Thank god summer is almost over

>>5716504
>implying that thing doesn't look horrible

>>5716485
True. It goes for food though, and not me. I may be nice looking on the inside but every person I've dated has cheated on me. I must be ugly somewhere I can't see.

>>5716510
Not even what I was referencing. Just go, newbie.

>>5716524
>every person I've dated has cheated on me

You have a tiny penis or you are bad at sex

I've had to fake it with 12 out of 14 boyfriends and I end up having to get something on the side for me.

>>5716531
What do you think referencing means?

I can also guarantee I've been here longer than you, I'm a massive loser.

>>5716554
And you still didn't recognize /tg/'s meatbred at first glance. I pity you, still so young and naive

>>5716554
You can't guarantee shit you five year old. It's like what >>5716563 said. Shouldn't you be getting your summer reading done?

>>5716563
I've never once visited /tg/

and you should pity me all the more, because I'm old and naive

>>5716571/tg/'s meat bread is posted here regularly. You're 17 and retarded.

>>5716541
How did your vagina and/or ass get so loose? Dad a black man?

>>5716573
I'm 31 and I've never seen it before.

I have bounced between /tv/ /lit/ /mu/ and /ck/ for a long time

>>5716578
No, you're not, and no, you haven't. I think 9gag might be a bit more your speed, champ.

>>5716589
This is far from my home board, so I'm sorry I didn't recognize your meatbread. But I am telling the truth about my age and boards I frequent.

>>5716589
>being this much of a try hard
slow down there turbo fellatrix