/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>5445731
You leave grack out of this.

>>5445731
This establishment should apologize for cooking that cuisine.

>local french bistro makes 'les toasts,' capitalizing on the artisan toast fad
>offer rock shrimp salad, pickled fennel, or rabbit rillette with currant jam on good bread for $4
>yelp reviewer says "the topping and bread were good, but it was just a topping on the toast," and gave it 3 stars

>orders a toast with topping
>complains that its just topping on a toast
>there is a whole other menu
>3 stars

>Undercooked
>Too salty/ needed more salt
>Had to wait 20 minutes

>guy orders regular pancakes with nothing on them
>plainest thing on the menu
>complains the food was boring

I always love reading reviews by some entitled cunt who says everything is horrible. Then I go there and everything rules.

I always imagine that the people writing those have no experience of cooking or working in the business but think they're experts because they've seen a couple of shows on the food networks.

>>5445745
To be fair. I'd be willing to pay for toasted fresh baked French bread with some nice jam.

Does that make me an artisanal toastfag?

>>5445792
It depends on your attitude about it.

http://yelpers.tumblr.com/

You're welcome /ck/

>>5445826
>Laurelhurst Market
>snobby as fuck name
>not making a reservation
>not making a reservation for any restaurant that isnt fast food or a usual walk-in

>this Lou Demere guy makes a lousy fish
>I ordered the steak and potatoes, and the mashed potatoes were just like a little smear on the plate!
>the waiter was some snooty french prick and kept asking if we wanted wine
>They gave us this little thing called an amoose boosh (i said we didn't order it but it was free I guess) and it was like HALF a bite of cold tomato and white cheese!
2 stars

>vegitarian goes to fanciest steakhouse in town.
>"gluten intolerant" too
>Literally everything is either meat or pasta
>chef makes steamed and grilled vegetable platter
>"so boring"
>ONE STAR

fuck this gay earth and all the faggots in it

i use tripadvisor for restaurant reviews.

>>5445826
Thanks anon I was in too good of a mood.

>waiter asked me if i wanted anything to drink
>of course i want something to drink
>give me a free water with lemon in it
>he scoffed because i wouldn't buy his overpriced passionfruit iced tea
>my glass of water had mostly ice in it and only 1 lemon slice. I didn't get much lemon flavor
>I didn't see anything I liked on the menu, and the water was too cold for me to drink
>if I could give a rating lower than 1 star, I would

>>5445826
>this should be good
>half, maybe more than half are perfectly valid reviews
whoever runs that tumblr is assblasted and booty bothered, and probably works at one of those restaruants

>>5445958
The comment he writes about the comments aren't really funny either, seems as bad as the review itself.

>>5445958
I was thinking the same thing.

>>5445745
>artisan toast fad

wat

>have handful of local google reviews posted
>set my name to only show my first name
>realize that if you click on my profile you're able to find my full name
>realize that it links to my youtube account
>realize that it shows my last comment on a video of a russian child getting a massage
well, fuck you, google.

>>5446162

Oh god why have I never done this before:

>Went here tonight with my 2 children for a plain pizza and mozzarella french fries. I was charge $6 for cheese sticks (mozzarella sticks). That was not what I ordered. I asked politely for the mozzarella melted cheese over french fries (something very common from NJ and PA where Italian is common). I was then greeted by 2 older burly men who adamantly in loud voices continued to say they have never made something like that and in 9 years never heard of it. Now, keep in mind, we have been there numerous times and without problem and/or question have gotten cheesy french fries. The customer service absolutely STINKS. What happened to the customer is always right? And...to argue loudly with a customer and make them feel stupid over french fries ( not to mention I was overcharged and never got a refund). Then the owner's wife? came in and they were all whispering and pointing at my 2 small children and myself while eating. I will NEVER go back here and will make sure to tell everyone how shoddy this establishment is and treats customers. The place needs and overhaul from attitude to ripped booths. There are way too many places to frequent in The Woodlands than put up with this type of treatment. So...I must say ADIOS!!!!

from a yelp review of the restaurant I work at.

I the guys she's referencing, and the owner's wife is actually the owner.

Had heard this story first hand and laughed my ass off. We will always judge uppity customers (don't pretend for a fucking minute that ordering something that isn't on the menu isn't retarded).

So much delicious butthurt.

>>5445756
That's a legit complaint. Pancakes should be delicious and be able to stand on their own without syrup, fruit, etc. When I make my own pancakes I eat them completely plain and they are mouth-watering. This should apply to any kind of bread product, really. If you just get some microwave-tier Denny's pancake the 'chef' fucked up.

>>5446195
>I asked politely for the mozzarella melted cheese over french fries (something very common from NJ and PA where Italian is common)
>Italian is common
>cheese over french fries
*insert reaction image*

>>5446195
>(something very common from NJ and PA where Italian is common).
Oh and this is the best part of this shit that I should have mentioned.

WE'RE IN FUCKING TEXAS.

The owner and her family is originally from New York, but they haven't lived there since the fucking 1970s.

The owner's husband is Mexican and has lived here his whole life.

There are a few regular customers that we will make special things for, and most of the long-standing employees know about them. However, they understand the entente we have - ask for x person for your silly request.

When I started reading it, I thought she meant the fried mozzarella sticks, since people have a shitload of different names for things (have a guy come in who calls marinara 'red gravy' and meat sauce 'meat gravy', for example).

To be fair, the owner's husband is pretty much a dickhead.

>>5446214
This might help.

>>5446195
I order shit that's not on the menu all the time (simple things). It's not that bad as long as you communicate clearly and ask if it's alright.

Why didn't you just make her some cheese fries?

I am reminded of that Seinfeld episode where they go to a different diner that doesn't serve 'big salads' and George says "just tell them what you want and they'll make it for you."

>>5446239
Usually we do. I don't think I was there, I only heard about it after it happened.

It's not so much of an issue of "can we do it", it largely falls onto the person taking the order. Do they want to figure out what the fuck to charge for it, possibly holding up a line in the process, then make sure the guy in the kitchen can/will do it.

The way I handle shit like that is if you're not a total douchebag, realize I may not know what the fuck they're talking about, so they explain it, then yes, usually I'll make it.

Like there's a guy that I deliver to all the time that will ask for a side of alfredo sauce, something we never do because we make all our afredo sauce from scratch per order. Most of the cooks won't do it, but he's a good guy and always tips well, so I'll whip some up for him.

>>5446239
The restaurants are doing you a favour by accepting since it deviates from the regular procedure. Acting like that's the norm just makes you seem like an entitled prick. Especially when the customer could have been clearer with the instrcution, "I want french fries with melted cheese over it", to make sure the staff understands when it's obviously not a common way to describe that dish in the region.

>>5446268
>The restaurants are doing you a favour

Oh for god's sake. THEY work for ME. I'm their client, thus their boss since I am paying THEM. It's the same relationship you'd have with your lawyer - you pay them for a service they provide, you have the authority here. They can decline, sure, but doing me a favor? Yes let me get down on my hands and knees and kiss their balls for gracing me with their kindness. Please.

>>5446195
>Then the owner's wife? came in and they were all whispering and pointing at my 2 small children and myself while eating.
This is the hallmark of the shitty yelp review
"The waitress came to fill my water but she totally had this smirk on her face and yknow she gave me a LOOK, I could tell they were talking about me in the back"
When I look for places to eat I have to disregard so many reviews from paranoid people/women.

for capital grille

not a negative review, but still jesus fucking christ

would've hated to be one of the other diners in the restaurant with this dude

>>5446282
>Go to a car dealership
>Hey man I like this car but can you put jeep doors on it for me?
>I mean I am paying you after all

I know its a shitty analogy because food is quick to create, but its actually more inconvenient than you think to custom make food at a restaurant.

>>5446300
Depends. I sometimes like adding a fried egg to my burger or stuff like that, which is no big deal.

>>5446295
>Capital Grille provided a great experience, and I could not have chosen a better place for the dinner.
This part is really enough.

>>5446282
>They can decline, sure
Yeah this is the part. In the review above the owners refused and she still had a sissy fit about it as if it was something she deserved.

>>5446295
>not liking fun

>>5446195
>Go to other part of the world
>Surprised when people are confused about customs

Maybe the workers were rude, but I despise the notion of customer is always right. The customer always wins, but isn't always right.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alexander-kjerulf/top-5-reasons-customer-service_b_5145636.html

>>5446308
>not following your thesis sentence with 3 paragraphs of well thought out supporting evidence followed by a conclusion paragraph

Did you even graduate 4th grade?

>>5446300
I agree with this analogy, but it brings up a question for me.. Is a custom dish moreso a problem for restaurants that have most of their dishes pre-prepared/made? Seems like if you go to a high-end place where your dish is put together when you order it wouldn't be a big deal to ask the chef to throw in an ingredient. Whereas regular cooks at run-of-the-mill franchises follow strict guidelines.

>>5446328
Most places are fine with simple requests like "No X sauce on it." or "Add extra Y." However, its a completely different story to ask for an entire item not on the menu, or to assume that a restaurant has as obscure product on hand.

>>5446328
>Is a custom dish moreso a problem for restaurants that have most of their dishes pre-prepared/made?

I know it's a problem for McDonald's, so I'm going to say yes. They can never handle custom orders.

>>5446284
Actually, it's probably fairly valid. I know I do it from time to time, but I at least think I'm sly about it. The owners will point, nod or otherwise gesture.

I hope she doesn't come back.

>>5446282
pls go, pizza hut is literally right next door. why are you here.

We turn away assholes all the time.

>>5446282
>THEY work for ME.

You are the worst kind of person.

>>5446197
>When I make my own pancakes I eat them completely plain
I thought I was the only one
if i am feeling luxurious i might put some butter on them

>>5446282
>It's the same relationship you'd have with your lawyer - you pay them for a service they provide, you have the authority here.

If you asked your family lawyer to cover your ass during a murder trial, he would be doing you a huge fucking favor.

>>5446371
Except that's not true at all.

>>5446371
No he would be doing his fucking job that I am paying him 1/4 million dollars to do. Should I also tip him on top of that because of his enormous generosity for doing me this grand "favor"?

>>5446375
yes it is
asking someone to work outside their specialty is asking them for a favor

>>5446197
>>5446364
Fuck yes. But I put a load of cinnamon and chopped bananas in my batter. Also I add poppy pods to the batter if I want to nod out. Pancakes, the best.

>>5446376
The difference is that lawyers get paid proportionally to their effort. When making a custom order in a restaurant the effort is bigger and they often do not even charge you for the extra ingredients since it's a hassle to come up with a price.

>>5446377
my family lawyer is an expert criminal defender

but the FBI doesn't officially recognize my family.

>>5446379
>tfw skillet broke so no pancakes for over a year

You guys are making me hungry

>>5445826
wow, i drove through this winter's snowstorm to eat some baby cow brains from that restaurant---good eats.

>>5445826
I don't see the problem with this one.

>hurp make reservations next time
>I can't, you won't let me for just 4 people
>sucks to be you I guess, make reservations next time

Guy sounded like a prick. But then again who the fuck makes reservations to go to a market?

>>5446390
>the FBI doesn't officially recognize my family
I know that feel. my mom played a parent for sandy hook so we had to move to England and lost our US citizenship

>>5446390
>the FBI doesn't officially recognize my family.
What?

>not being on the FBI terrorist watch list
>2014

Step up your game m80s

>>5446409
>who the fuck makes reservations to go to a market?

Pretty sure that's just the restaurant name, and it's not an actual market. I agree with you, though, it sounds like they have a dumb reservation policy and the host was being a dick.

Why do Americans feel so entitled when they go to a restaurant?

>>5446438

Why do you shitpost?

>>5446443
It's an honest question? All of the reviews mentioned in this thread were written by Americans.

>>5446449
>It's an honest question? All of the reviews mentioned in this thread were written by Americans.

So you're telling us that you are forming an opinion of an entire nationality's habits based on a 60-post thread on a chinese cartoon board?

Are you stupid?

>>5446456
>chinese cartoon

>>5446379
>poppy pod pancakes
Man that's awesome. That's just awesome. I respect you.

>>5446449
Are you implying that people don't complain just as much in other countries? Chances are they do, but why the fuck would you be on a non-English fucking food review site? Think on it.

>Oh I never heard of anyone complaining about restaurants in China, but then again I've never been to China or visited any Chinese review sites and I get all my opinions from 4chan because for some retarded reason I feel it encompasses the world

>>5446462

>it's a joke

>>5446456
It's all you ever see in restaurant threads. There you go.

>>5446464
4chan is an anime board. Anime is from Japan. The more you know.

>>5446480
Which the same issues apply to /a/. Some retards on /a/ or /jp/ think they know shit about Japan when they just watch their cartoons/manga from a tiny subculture that most of Japan doesnt give a fuck about. But I digress.

>>5446480
>It's all you ever see in restaurant threads

No, it is not all I ever see in restaurant threads. I see Europeans bitching about stuff all the time as well, though not as often as Americans. It's almost like 4chan's userbase is mostly American. Surprising, right?

Looks like you're running out of steam. If you're going to troll, please do it well.

>>5446462
>being new

>>5446480
>It's all you ever see in restaurant threads.

So let me get this straight. You're surprised to see Americans complaining about something. On a site that is made up of like 95% of Americans.

>>5446485
>>5446503
>proving my point

It IS an anime site after all.

it's dirty
0/10

I wrote a 2 star yelp review because the salad I got was made with iceberg lettuce. Come at me.

>>5446379
Where do i find unwashed poppy pods?

Is there an online vendor?

>>5446510
I see no problem here

>>5446510
Sounds like my kind of salad. Fuck romaine lettuce

>>5446516
poppy seeds are the ones you want unwashed since they contain no opioid themselves. you used to could buy pods online at florist shops(dried) or irl. you can still find them but its harded to and they are a lot more expensive and iffy and a lot of times it takes a really long time. try something besides clearnet if you cant find any or try 420chan.org/opi/

>>5445731
I actually found this picture on the Yelp page for my local Five Guys.

>>5446618
420chan has rules against sourcing. Sometimes nobody gives a shit, sometimes they do, it's really a crapshoot.

>>5446353
Except hes right

>>5446324
>not following your thesis with a progression of your thought and ending with a new and different thesis

did you even graduate highshcool, mate?

>>5446640
yeah but if you listen to the posts and pay attention you can figure it out or go on their IRC and ask greenwell or quetz

>>5446640
>tfw i'm too whitebread to find drugs

>>5447346
>tfw I can find all sorts of oxy/hydro codeine/morphone etc, but have only smoked opium once in my life

Getting some pods to cook with intrigues me.

>>5447346
its not like you can find pods in open air markets, you have to be pretty savvy to find a retailer for em nowadays

>>5447352
>>5447353
i mean any drugs

hell no one i know even smokes weed

>>5447352
honestly i dont know why you would cook with pods, its not like they taste great and some opioids start to degrade ~200f plus ive never liked taking opis orally with food or a full stomach. IMO youre better off just drinking your tea and eating regular food later. youre doin it to get fucked up not for the taste

as i said earlier its getting harder and harder to find pods, you best bet is to go to whole foods or somewhere with unwashed seeds and grow some yourself, then you gets the pods and opium and they are very easy to grow and lots of people used to grow them for no reason other than they looked pretty

>>5447356
Luckily for me, I still hang around a fair amount of degenerates, despite 90% of the time just sticking to beer.

If you were desperate and wanted to pay through the nose, you could go to local music festivals and stuff.

>>5447356
hang around colleges, go to parties, look for kids who look like they use, hang out outside methadone clinics, go to bars late and look for cooks or servers,

where do you live

>>5447381
fayetteville NC

>>5447382
>go to bar
>ask for meth

>>5447382
you should be able to find stuff if you look, its not like tis a super small city. go to local colleges/parties or music festivals like>>5447378 said