/ck/ - Food & Cooking

with your hosts, suspenders...

>>5045175

heating up packaged foods while getting black out drunk?

>>5045179
Story of my life.

and hair!

>>5045182
not entirely!

We actually started with a trip to our local farmers market to get meats + produce. Then a supermarket to be fat disgusting foodsluts.

Step 1: get really drunk.

No seriously.
Sip shitty whisky out of the bottle.
Pinky out even though it tastes like piss.
Smooth canadian piss.

I did not enjoy this part but it was necessary.

>>5045178
Is that Wolverine?

>>5045191

DUDE...you counter tops are just plywood. Are you remodeling or just really poor?

>>5045203
not ENTIRELY
>>5045204
i dont even own a fucking shirt
not all of us were born in to luxury

>>5045204

we had to kill many men for this plywood

>>5045204
He's poor from the alcoholism.

im just starting with some warm up food porn
to get those juices flowing

this reminds me of drunk cooking with friends in college

thanks for making me depressed

>>5045220

and nipples. mostly nipples.

literal food porn...

>>5045220

Your hairy man nipples are making me uncomfortable can you please refrain from emphasizing your manly bits.

it got pretty weird.

let me distract you from this with some fun facts
fun fact 1: this took millions of miles of travel and hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution to make this

>>5045232

what's wrong anon? 2masculine4u?

>>5045223

depression is the first step toward alcoholism. join us on our magical journey

this thread is going to hurt me isn't it?

Step 2: we toasted the bread and cheese in the oven
pretty basic shit here, lets not get lost

we're not what you'd refer to as fancy men
i wash myself with a rock

STEP 3: PRIMARY ONION LAYER
THESE BASIC BUILDING BLOCKS HELP US A-CHIVE SO MUCH MORE

This layer is bacon spiced with spicy spices.

I know what you're thinking, it's cliche, but also a needed staple of being a corpulent meat monkey and pandering to internet sows. Also, you're talking to a shirtless guy in candy cane suspenders. Set expectations low.

>>5045247

it'll hurt so good

Too tryhard.

SECONDARY ONION LAYER CONSTRUCTED. Also some shit we found on the ground. Vegetables I guess?

Fun fact 2: I don't know what the FUCK a mushroom is but i hear their spores can survive in space.

>>5045270

looks like someone's being a grinchy-grinch

>>5045178
T-tristan?

Chicken, cooked in bacon grease.

>>5045270
sory, i'll b les COCK-y
i dont want 2... of-HEN-d u

We found some cool dip at the store. And i think it's french. So we're going to make this a french dip.

>>5045280
Tristan sounds like a pokemon.

>>5045290

(we frenched the dip)

FUN fact 3: (it wasnt french)

>>5045202

DYEL?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Onion layer 3: Almost enough to slake our thirst for bulbs
red edition

>>5045301
no

Portly person procedure!
adding in some fucking mac n cheese

with my hand
for her pleasure

Let's take a brief pause to consider our journey so far.
Maybe we moved too fast.

I know you're a down to earth single mother who just likes horses, god, and to "have fun with friends". But baby I have needs too. I need to make this sandwich and fuck it.
You can't fulfill all of me needs...

Jalapenos can tho!

only one, as a secret surprise

>>5045175
>Lauders
burn in fucking hell

>>5045331

Will you stop wasting 4chan/moot's bandwidth with this shit?

ok, op. iwait with baited breathI might have to sub inverhouse for lauders, tp for siracha and almost certainly no jegermister well maybe a shot of the pint i might take to an old friend. and God help me to remember, once past 40 you do not call ladies old ever. in my heart i am 26 and so is she despite beoing 54. a double mascestomy, 3 kids, and a husband who is one of my close friends and ride horses. lots of water underr the bridge. they go to no church iknow of. part ?Cherokee. very tough, but very forgiving. the best people or t thw worst init
get it inuat for the long haul yhey have someting that eludes many. love

Pickle adjacent makes this jalapenos real estate costs go up.

This is a shitty attempt to make an archived thread. Go be a faggy hipster somewhere else.

>>5045191
Is that the GROLAND kitchen island table from Ikea?

>>5045326
>>5045312

>>5045337
u wot m9

>>5045335
dare you to find better shame in a bottle for $10 a liter

>>5045336

you seem to not be in the spirit of giving. i baked this cake for you because it is how you make me feel

>>5045342

no. our kitchen didn't have counter space so we cobbled it together from drift wood and 2x4s

Onion rings. The deep dark sexually charged blacksheep of the onion family. Your tantalizing fried breaded crust shields me from your sulfoxides. But i still cry. Cry tears of beauty, tears of joy, and of course, tears of an angel.

>>5045337
wisdom

Just so you know: this wasn't funny at all, and your food looks gross. Grow up a little.

more cheese
fuck it
im going to hell for this anyway

>>5045337
#truthandwisdom

>>5045343
>>5045359

i'm sorry we're not up to the standards of anonymous. please accept these rocks as recompense

Fear unending! the werewolf is completed! Steel yourself for this.

The battle looks like it's over, but it's only just begun.

>>5045351
you're right, I can't.

But have some dignity. at least pay $15

>>5045359
>>5045343
>>5045336

i'm grown man
i like anime, pokemon, board games, and alcohol
i am clearly not in good shape
I don't own nice things
i have to fuck sandwiches instead of ladies
have some pity

TIME FOR SOME ACTION SHOTS

aroooooooooo

>>5045383
fuck the knife

FROM YOUR HOSTS:
SUSPENDERS...

>>5045202
>that goddamn dinosaur on the window

AND HAIR

special guests and photographer:
fancyman gaylen

>>5045383
Filename is a misnomer. There is no erection in said pic.

and grumples (the victim)

>>5045380

you make a fair point. this is what i drink when i feel like classing it up, because it tastes like soda pop from the bottle and we poors like the soda

>>5045351
>>5045383

You're not funny. Not even in an ironically unfunny sort of way, like Norm McDonald.

>>5045406
you got me

>>5045394
those are mine, i hid them everywhere in that kitchen

here's so bonus nips and happy drunk cooking

>>5045413
im sorry

>>5045413

if i suck your dick will you validate me? please dude i need this

>>5045418
>>>/soc/
cock or gtfo
and link back here

>>5045383
tomorrow its going to FEEL like you gave birth.
In time for christmas.

I hate how I read this.

Why not stop buying organic food and buy a t shirt? Or cardigan?

Have a nice christmas time you guys, you look pretty ok to hang with. Cheers.

>>5045463
Fuck you hair

>>5045463

thank you kind anon. your words give me strength.

>>5045450

it's not the food- it's the alcohol. there's a reason all of the liquor here is cheap.

>>5045442

this is for you, /ck/. we will soon give birth to a christmas miracle so that it may redeem your sins

>>5045436

he's flattered that you want to see his penis. it's adorable.

>>5045471

twasn't me. you seem to have some misplaced bitterness. i recommend cup of sugar. that'll get the scrooge out of you in no time!

you're cute kids
i wouldn't eat any of that sandwich, though

>>5045480
You are the most unfunny person ever

And you have hair that belongs in the movie dazed and confused

>>5045487

oh man what am i gonna do some guy on 4chan doesn't think i'm funny. ur probably just bald or something. it's okay- you can have some of mine if you want. that's what christmas is all about- the joy of giving <3

>>5045487
i really like that movie though... :(

>>5045485
i... dont blame you
one day i'll die for my sins in the kitchen

This is probably the worst thread I have ever seen.

>>5045503
well that's what really matters right? we're together for the holidays

>>5045178
you're drunk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0e1au1JwQc

>>5045503
I think Sketti is worse

2/10 would not eat; needs more dinosaurs

>>5045175
YOU STABBED THE FUCKING LOAF
IT"S IMPERFECT NOW

At first I was like 'This is a pretty decent looking sandwich, maybe something cool will happen.'

It got a bit iffy by the dip and all was lost by the time the macaroni came in.

I honestly didn't even need to see pictures of anyone else to know that if there was a 3rd person with a camera they were probably a hipster mustache type and there was bound to be a 4/10 chick with dyed hair, piercings, and a mix of hipster and frumpy grandma clothes lurking around somewhere.

Suspenders is hot though I actually wanted to see him put his dick in that sandwich.

so many butthurt fags in this thread, 10/10 thread for /ck/s standards imo

>>5045564
no shit

>>5045196
>>5045202

>>5045203
fatverine mebbe

Could have been a tolerable thread if you fags had left the dumb pictures of yourselves out.

back and properly drunk

>>5045972
sry for being gay. it was a choice i made a long time ago and i regret it :<

>>5045881
sorry i'm not a qt3.14 like my friend i'll try harder next time

>>5045758
sry we didn't properly capture all of our dinosaurs. there are at least 4 in our kitchen.

>>5045608
you're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

>>5045498
You wish you had hair, that's fairly thick but try growing it out a bit.

>>5046077
What state are u from?

>>5046141
O-H-I-O, land of the free, home of the bored
>>5046129
truth be told i really want to get rid of a lot of it... kinda sick of shedding everywhere and finding it in my food and looking like a buffoon

>>5046141
That dude hair looks like someone I knew in florida.

>>5046157
florida is a terrible state.

sorry for shitposting. i thought some people would at least want to share in our bit of fun, but i guess we're not good enough. oh well

>>5046173
Well the dude who looks just like you from Florida is a terrible person. I kicked his ass. Felt good.

>>5046181
what'd he do?

>sorry i'm not a qt3.14 like my friend i'll try harder next time

I'd only sex you if you became my little brother first.

>>5046201
let's do this

>>5046153
Ponytail
captcah:tabloooe xcess

>>5046262
nah dude i don't wanna be one of those guys

Siracha
Kroger onion rings
Coca-Cola
Unfinished plywood counter
Two hipsters, flip a coin of who smells worse.

Do I need to go on. For fucks sake I wish schools didn't let out in December.

>>5046278
>my tastes are superior
>i have money for quality ingredients
>i'm marginally older and therefore superior
>i'm an elitist twat

do i need to go on? for fucks sake i wish people would learn to loosen up. especially for the holidays.