/ck/ - Food & Cooking

cook? no cooking necessary! my dick, his mouth

>implying you wouldn't do the same

Sure.

So long as I get paid.

>>4906800
>So long as I get paid.
will you accept payment in the form of getting you dick sucked?

Rocky Mountain Oysters with wiener dogs!

Latkes

I once cooked for Moot. He ended up copying my food, selling it, charging people for faster service, and then tried to open a couple restaurants with his own recipes that ended up going bust. Then he decided to really cash in on my recipes and become a vocal mouthpiece about it, as if he had anything to do with it in the first place.

Homemade pizza, because hes from New York.

>>4906812
Depends on the hours.

Arsenic-laced potatoes. Maybe I'd cum in them too.

Some kind of tea. Moot fucking loves tea.

I'm afraid of moot. his emotions aren't real. this site has tortured his soul. so obviously I would set down a bowl of soup and run. run so fucking far.

I'd just give him instant ramen

>>4906965
hey already got a free bowl of soup with that haircutc

>>4906794
Pasta, homemade sauce, meatballs, salad, pecan bundt cake for desert. All with the least-crappy wine my money can buy.

Then this: >>4906797
But in reverse

ITT a lonely moot pretending to be one of us.

You're always welcome here, boss. Not that it's for me to say. But in a way, it is.

Whatever was cooking he'd have but if it was stuff he didn't like I'd make him something else.

>>4906794
a steak, cuz who da fuq doesn't like steaks.

ask him if he wanted a pizza or something
if not, I'd make stew because it's what I'm best (read: not total shit)at making

>>4907056
If I recall, Moot doesn't like steak. He likes salmon, though.

>>4907064
So we should grill a salmon stea- pipe a forcemeat of salmon into an roasted artichoke base?

I would ask him to dress up as a little girl and we would have a tea party.

>>4907076
I think he'll eat a salmon fillet or salmon steak (GASP!). I recall him saying he's basically pescetarian. Just put a salmon steak under the grill with some herbed butter and serve it alongside some sautéed asparagus, a simple risotto (or garlic fried rice) and a salad after. I don't know if moot likes asparagus or not, but if he doesn't, he's a very bad man.

>>4907093
I was being facetious.

Scottish salmon, pan-fried but left rare to medium-rare, I am seconding risotto but upping it to pumpkin risotto to suit the season, and yes fuck anyone who doesn't like asparagus.

>under the grill
What part of the world are you from? We usually call that broiling, no offense just curious.

If he's a pescetarian, I'm sure he'd love my asparagus crab soup. Or some maple apple stuffed trout.

I think we need feedback from Moot to cook for Moot.

>>4907111
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grilling#UK.2C_Commonwealth_and_Ireland

>>4907138
Alright, now there's some offense.

*breaks bottle*

Let's go. Nothing across the face though, that's my moneymaker.

I would crack his head and steal his shekels.

>>4906965

I'm not a very good cook, I'd be slightly embarrassed to cook for someone I did not know personally and had never met before.

vegan turd burgers and vegetarian butt pies

>>4907180

ahh come one. it was fucking cold morning that day.

>>4906794
probably some good burgers and rosemary oven baked fries.

Snacks.

>>4906997
>hey already got a free bowl of soup with that haircutc

>>4907180
I knew it!!!!

A big pile of shit.

>>4907180
look at that million dollar smile. I would let him eat this pussy raw.

>>4907240
Do not bring him back. Fuck him.

>>4907231
is it true what they say about you and steak

People.

>>4907270
I've got some bad news for you...

Nothing, he can but me dinner with all his 4chan pass dollars.

>>4906794
I would cook a soup with tortillas.
Or sopes, it's hard to mess up fried masa.
With horchata.
It's okay if you don't look me in the eye, I won't get sad.

A bunch of desserts with perfectly paired teas because he's a sweetie.

>>4906878
7/10

>that Adam Lanza bone structure

Keep an eye on Moot, FBI. Well you already do, but be careful.

A deep fried dragon dildo covered in spaghetti sauce and semen. With PCP to wash it down

Anything phallic shaped

>>4906794
I cook up some cheeseburgers, because we are both Americans. I would use Cabot Private Stock cheddar for the cheese, and get some nice bulky onion rolls for the buns. We'd drink Moxie with the burgers. He's probably never had Moxie but he'd love it and every time he drank Moxie in the future, he'd remember me.

Then we would laugh and talk about freedom and just get along fine. I'd break out a few bottles of Allagash Cureiux (sp?). I'd serve it in nice adirondak glasses and we'd get hella tipsy on those tiny bubbles.

Then we'd retire to my living room and watch First Blood together and drink eggnog with SoCo in it even though it's not Christmastime.

He'd share a blanket with me on the couch and we'd cry together during Stallone's monologue in the final scene of the movie.

Then we'd make gentle love on the couch, he would bottom obviously.

No homo.

>>4906794
Chicken and Leek pie, 'cause that's what I'm cooking next. Also, I'd probably go buy a cake. And then we'd have cake and tea/coffee for dessert.

>>4908957
9/10 would have a beer with

moot is a vegan or at least a vegetarian

>>4908970
>moot
>vegetarian
/r/ing pic of moot eating the double down

>>4908970
Nope.

>>4908957
Ok, you win. I'd be totally down for every bit of that. No homo.

>>4908975


>>4908976
I think that was the quote I was thinking of

>>4907240
>Snacks is probably dead

>>4908984
nah he's alive, he hosts a weeb radio show every tuesday night

a human being

>>4906878
>I once cooked for Moot. He ended up copying my food, selling it, charging people for faster service, and then tried to open a couple restaurants with his own recipes that ended up going bust. Then he decided to really cash in on my recipes and become a vocal mouthpiece about it, as if he had anything to do with it in the first place.
lol'd

>>4909030
That's just a fake that Moot has hired with his 4chan pass money so nobody suspects Moot of having killed Snacks.

If your answer for this is not your dick, then youre lying.

It's hard to believe the scrawny bastard can finish a meal, honestly. Scrawny.

I have tingles knowing he lurks here and might see this.

I recently learned how to make indian curries, so I'd probably try that.

Actually I'd be too afraid of fucking it up. I'd stick with the italian pasta dishes and cookies my mother taught me.

>>4910035
moot posts on /ck/ once in a while so...

>>4906878
Bravo

>>4910013
>the image of masculinity has become so perverted

You sound like the kind of guy who also believes there's such a thing as La Reconquista and is always going on about how Christians are being persecuted right here in the Republic of Texas.

>>4910059
I was just disturbed by a woman booking modeling jobs as a man. Messing up gender roles bothers me. Not a Christfag.

>>4910064

Androgynous looking models have been a thing since the 70s. Unless you work in high fashion or you intentionally expose yourself to those pictures because they titillate you, it shouldn't have any relevance to your daily life.

>>4910066
>androgynous models have been a thing since the 70s

but WHYYYYYYYY

>>4910070

Because the reptoids want your precious bodily fluids, anon. The have placed themselves in high fashion because it is an ideal industry through which to distribute the morgellons fibers (that and the male stewardesses who are actually chemtrail engineers).

Once they have seized your bodily secretions they will begin to control your mind and then you will break down and become gay.

I was not supposed to tell you this but you seem wiser than most humans. There is no point in resisting now so I recommend you side with the winning team.

>>4910073
seems legit

He tweeted a pic of a hamburger and a milkshake and another one of just a milkshake recently so we'd probably have that. And the milkshake would be lactose-free because he complained about stomach aches after both milshakes.

>>4910070
Because it's hot.

>>4910073
>bodily fluids

>>4906997
>moots face when

>>4908984

>>4910013

Andrej Pejic is a man who does the same.

>>4909103
>implying it's not his dick

Also I really want to lick moot's chin. He has such a nice chin. Then I'd play with his nipples.

>>4906878

Sushi and rice bowls.

>>4911625
Your gif is broken

>>4911659
I'm guessing they don't know what that means. I considered replying with

>.gif
>static image

But figured that would only confuse the poor anon.

I don't want to use his kitchen to do it.

He came earlier this year looking for advice and he wanted to start a NY area cooking club. No one took him up on it...sad ;_;

>>4911688
He was asking where a good place would be to conveniently store his pots and pans.

>>4911689
we came up with this after he mentioned his counter is more like a bar that is sticking out of the wall.

>>4911659
>>4911660
Nope, it's broken. It was supposed to have Shere Khan laughing, I don't know why he isn't.
>mfw

>>4911719
Did he inhale that cigar like it was an ordinary cigarette? My lungs just gasped involuntarily

>>4911733
>implying the rage of hades can be constrained to health benefits
also he's the god of death.

>tfw MOOT hasn't popped in to this thread to talk with us ;_;

>>4911771
its as if he doesnt love /ck/ :(

>>4911771
now that would be spooky...
tfw no trick or treating with a pink cat.

>>4911739
No, merely the god of the underworld. Thanatos, son of Night (Nyx) and Darkness (Erebus) and brother of Hatred (Styx), Retribution (Nemesis), Discord/Struggle (Eris), Fate (Moerai), Doom (Moros), Senility (Geras), Nightmares (Oneroi), Fear (Phobos), Terror (Deimos), Deceit (Apate) Misery (Oizys), Criticism (Momos), Sex (Philotes) and Sleep (Hypnos), is the god of death.
Hypnos is sometimes called 'Little Death." Though he and Thanatos were twins, Hypnos was weaker, smaller and less powerful. His sleep could only affect for a relatively short time and it would eventually wear off.

>>4911853
I know that, but most people don't so I spoke in a way most people would understand.

Besides, we all know the sisters Hecate are the true masters of life.

Soup.

I tried making the breakfast moot posted on here once. Two open-faced sandwiches, one scrambled eggs+avocado, another sliced strawberries+almond butter.

I was impress, would cook again.

>>4911719

Do you have one of Ka'a eating Mogli?

>>4910053
hence I said he lurks here

he doesn't always use his admin trip either


anyway i ended up thinking about this for a while and decided on

- cream of mushroom soup as a starter (real cream, fresh mushrooms- if you've never had it, you don't know what you're missing)
- a ziti lasagne hybrid where you layer ziti and use both tiny meatballs and tiny sausage balls
- spinach salad with cranberries
- key lime pie for dessert, or possibly just black raspberries and milk

It's actually starting to feel like fall in Texas, so probably butternut squash soup, salmon steaks with lemon grilled over rosemary lengths, sum orzo salad and my specialty quadruple chocolate cake. People can't get enough of that cake.

Since it's fall, I'd probably make Cioppino (a seafood and fish stew similar to Boulliabase), with some homemade sourdough bread. I'd start the meal with salad, as well. And for dessert, either some simple tiramisu or lemon bars, or something like that.

What was that sauce that was a joke here for a while? Spanky sauce or beepbeep sauce or something, I dunno. But that. On a Ritz.

>>4914326

> beepbeep sauce on a ritz

Hue! Beepbeep sauce is much too thin, it would'nt adhere to the wafer, and would sully one's hands

>>4913150
>It's actually starting to feel like fall in Texas
>implying that it ever feels colder than a cool autumn day in Texas, even in January

I swear, one of these days I'm going to move out of this redneck infested, 120 degree summer ridden hellhole.

A nice long sausage, made of meat ready for consumption, no cooking required, other than a light warming by his mouth, and no prep other than his licking. He'd get a nice sweet creamy dessert as well, as long as he licked his plate clean.

>>4914326
quinky sauce aka semen

I'll make a kawaii lunch so moot senpai will notice me!

>>4906794

There was a time when I would've loved to cook for Moot.

>>4914444
I'll cook Moot a rock.

>>4914879
>I'll cook Moot

FIFY

spaghetti and meatsauce, its the only thing i know i can get tasty.

Mediterranean style pizza with ice wine imported from Germany. Booyah!

I'd make him some tea and urinate in it slightly then I would proceed to dump said boiling urine tea in his face.

yes. but a moot point. i'd cook for anyone. would moot eat my cooking?

Marblecake.

a full english breakfast

>>4911865

>dat cabinet handle lookin' like an earring

what a faggot

I'd feed him a man's beard and get pissy when he doesnt say thank you

a bag of dicks

>>4906878
top kek

>>4907180
What am I looking at here?

>>4906794

I'd give him a gallon of milk and force him to do squats until he stops being a little hungry skeleton bitch. That faggot made a huge stink about starting lifting like, a year ago, and he bitched out like a pussy.

>>4918792
don't forget the oats

>>4914879

>>4914409
This does not meet standard requirements for a bento.

>Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)

I'd wouldn't cook him any thing, but I'd hit him smoke my cock..

>>4907180

Why is the guy in the back intensifiying instead of the moots???

>>4911688
>I don't want to use his kitchen to do it.
>He came earlier this year looking for advice and he wanted to start a NY area cooking club. No one took him up on it...sad ;_;
The kitchen turned out pretty awesome, actually. Thanks for the help, /ck/!

And a bunch of people expressed interest, but I realized it was probably a wise decision to not be around knife-wielding 4channers. I hope someone else arranges one though.

>>4911970
>I tried making the breakfast moot posted on here once
>I was impress, would cook again.
Pretty tasty, eh?

>>4921789
Moot, how is your progress going with getting /fit/? What gains have you made?

Please respond

>>4921789
I'm glad the kitchen worked out moot.

>>4921789

I'd make you beans and beer moots. Come over anytime.

>>4911693
>don't notice it's a .gif
>open it, looking around the kitchen
>mfw face pops up

>>4921789
What are your thoughts on poutine? I'll make you some if you want.

I also make a mad risotto if you prefer.

Crab Legs

>>4906794
Something that insinuates pedophilia.
Maybe a hot dog crammed into a pineapple ring using ketchup as "lubricant"
All done on a bed of edible Japanese flowers.

A ribeye with gorgonzola cheese, mashed red potatoes, and steamed broccoli and carrots

I would make him some homemade chicken nuggets and barbecue sauce. For valentimes of course.

>tfw several months until valentimes and I know I'll be spending it alone

Steamed hams!
Old family recipe!

>>4921789
>The kitchen turned out pretty awesome, actually. Thanks for the help, /ck/!
>/ck/ in charge of designing a kitchen
Unless ricecookers and huge pizza ovens are what you were looking for, I don't really believe /ck/ can design a decent kitchen

>>4906794
Moot.

Can we get moot itt now?

>>4908957
I love you.

>>4906794
Something simple, I'll judge a book by its cover and say he doesn't like complex food.

Potato and leek soup entree

Crispy skin salmon with chat potatoes, brocollini, dutch carrots and a beurre blanc

Two tiered panacotta - vanilla bean and raspberry, garnish with fresh fruit and mint.

>>4921789
You are just the worst.

You and I both know why you are here.

>>4911970
>>4921789
>was impress
>tasty, eh?
Sounds like a breakfast I'd like to see!

Requesting the recipe, please.

Knuckle sandwich

I'd make moot some kosher lamb with much rosemary along with some matzos. Then we could discuss how to use the 6 Billions he made from 4chan pass to further subvert the goyim.

No /pol/o.

>>4909030
Yeah? What's the link? What type of material does he do?

>>4910013
Who the fuck believes this is the ideal man, except faggots of course?
Also alphabet soup.

>>4909030
GOOGLE COMES UP WITH NOTHING FUCKING TURN ON THREAD WATCHER DON'T BE A FUCKING PLEB CUNT

>>4923499
>>>/r9k/

>>4923511
what the hell does robot have to do with anything thats not a fucking link let alone a link to a thread that will send me there. man thanks.

>>4923533
You're welcome.

Pizza with extra razor blades.

Fresh Bagel with Lox & Cream Cheese, Lobster & chicken nugger.

>>4921789
Knife-wielding. Get over yourself. You may be e-famous but I doubt people really give two shits about you irl beyond your novelty value.

>>4906794
Cyanide.

>>4923743
Knife-wielding assburger detected.

>>4922086
You are just he worst.

You and I and moot both know why you are a faggot.

>>4922086
Penis?