/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Eat a whole bag of baby carrots and drink about 3 Red Bulls.

>>4778017
Do carrots change the color of your shit? This could be good.

What about Red Bull?

Don't do stuff like that unless you work in a really large building. You don't want the boss to endorse a locked door / sign in policy on the bathroom, it's hellish.

I have no idea. Better make it 4 Red Bulls.

>>4777995
Eat blueberries. Choke down some koolaid mix.

When I juice beets, my shits are like a deep reddish purple for a couple days.

What's worse than the shit is that people actually eat beets. Vile root.

>>4778026
It is a very large building but only 3 bathrooms on my floor. The bathroom I use has 6 stalls, so no worry about a locked door policy.

But I would stop before it got that bad.

One time we had a cake for my younger brother's birthday that had blue frosting. Everyone was shitting green after that.

>>4778040
They taste awesome and have lots of sugar. Perfect for roasting. I like to grate them eat them as a salad with a bit of carrot and a nice vinaigrette.

>>4778032
>koolaid mix.
Good idea. Maybe I can shit different colors everyday.

>>4778040
They always tasted like dirt to me.

>>4778073
Try roasting them to the point of caramelization.

My first full American shit during my trip to the US was strange.
It was half blue, half green and the very tip was brown, also much longer than usual.

I don't mean a little bit blue, I mean bright sky blue and grass green.

Why?

I just enjoyed the thread subject being about weird shits, and then seeing Fieris face. How fitting.

>>4778110
what... whats wrong with you?

I drink shitloads of coffee on a regular basis, and have yet to ever smell a 'coffee piss'

Every time I got a tuna wrap at the cafe at work, my piss would smell like tuna. Only from the cafe. They were pretty big.

There is something in some Indian and Mexican food that gives my piss a weird smell. I'm not sure if it is cumin or chili powder or something, but it is distinctive.

>>4778118
hahah

>>4778128
Nothing.
This has never happened before until I experienced the American diet.

>eat something
>anything
>instead of drinking soda like a fat fuck drink red food coloring
>shit devil red
>profit
it's not that complicated retard. You don't have to go out of your way to shit different colors.

>>4778204
>it's not that complicated retard. You don't have to go out of your way to shit different colors.
I would, because I am not a child that drinks soda, let along soda colored with intense food colorings.

>>4777995
>eat a ton of asparagus
>pee in the toilets/urinals/sinks
>don't flush

Stinky pee. Stinky pee everywhere.

>>4778225
Yeah but you're a child who can't read apparently. He said to drink food coloring. Not soda with coloring. Are you fucking stupid or what.

>>4778186
every food in america is available in your country.

maybe you shouldnt have eaten only shitty food on your vacation

>>4778248
>drink food coloring
>are you fucking stupid
Not sure if serious.

Also, OP wasn't just talking about shit color, but other characteristics.

A local Vietnamese restaurant has an eating contest where you have to eat 5 pounds of pho in 30 minutes. It's a fucking fishbowl. Anyway, when I tried, I was close, but had a cup or so of broth left over. My stomach was in bad shape for an hour after that, and I thought it was done. I woke up in the middle of the night, my stomach in knots, and ran to the bathroom. I took the most bizarre dook ever. It smelled super sweet, and was bright orange, like a Jarritos log. I kind of looked at it for a little bit and laughed at it. So yeah, eat 5 lbs of pho as fast as you can.

Also, when my little sis was 3, she had a penchant for eating play-doh. Some of my earliest memories involve my mom calling me into the bathroom so we could laugh at the little green and red toddler turds.

>>4778256
>every country has ammonia ground beef, arsenic chicken, azodicarbonamide, olestra, brominated flour, BHA, rBGH, etc. for sale

lol no

If you want bright as holy hell, try very bright frosted cupcakes. The variety you'd buy from a Walmart/Sam's bakery. I ate two bright green ones a back, only later to shit out technicolor logs 8 hours later.

I can only attest to the potential in the green frosted ones but reds and blues might work too.

>>4778266
>this projecting

Maybe if you didn't eat shit food you wouldn't have shit shits, you ever think of that?

>>4778274
All that is is food coloring. Skip the calories and go straight to the source

>>4778281
How is this projecting? I am projecting that I eat foods that aren't available where I live?

Are you sure you know how to use the word projecting? Pretend you are saying, "hurrrr no you" and see if the context fits.

Also, I'm not the guy who "got the shits". I am responding to your statement that "every food in america is available in your country".

Please stay focused.

>>4778256
Sure, it's available if you dig deep enough, it's never on the breakfast menu of a hotel though.

>>4778298
>Also, I'm not the guy who "got the shits"

Well how am I supposed to know that?!

>>4778322
I am the guy that got the northern lights shit.

>>4778322
Because there is more than one other person in this thread and I was responding to something you said that wasn't relating to the "getting the shits" context.

Also,

>Well how am I supposed to know that?!
Projecting much?

>>4778261
You guys are seriously arguing about how one other guy can make his poop weirder.

Fucking 4chan

>>4778328
nah ah ah.....that was my first post in this shitty thread. You weren't responding to me anon.

>all this projecting of projections

>>4778327
Can I buy a quarter?

>>4778133

You've probably got wicked tolerance. If it doesn't give you diarrhoea any more, you've got a caffeine tolerance.

>>4778140
same happens to me sometime after eating canned tuna. sometimes chicken as well, although the scent isn't as strong since it has a subtler smell than tuna to begin with.

Not sure if this worries me. I was always led to believe that urine only really contains protein if your kidneys are malfunctioning.

Eat crushed glass and your shits will be red as the devil's dick

>>4778266
naturalnews pls go

pls

>>4777995
Enough Guinness or other real dark porter will make you shit black. Like, jet black. It's weird.

>>4778675
...how much porter are we talking about? I'm fond of the stuff and I can't say I've noticed this.

>>4778677
Like, over six pints. It helps if you don't have a lot of other food in your stomach, as well.

The berry cereal made my poop purples, green, and blue when I binged on them.

you could just drop some food coloring/koolaid mix into the toilet before you start your poo

Eat some corn as well, for that little sparkled effect.

>>4778410
Man the best part of the day is right after my second mug of coffee, it gives me the smoothest shit ever. Not even diarrhea, just a smooth shit that I don't even have to wipe after. It's great because it's always the same time of the day.

>>4778535
Naturalnews? Do you not think these things are banned in other countries?

>>4777995

go eat some dragon fruit

the little black specks in the water will confuse people, and the fruit is a diaretic so the more you eat, the more that will come out at one time

also asparagus for the smell of your urine

beets like you mentioned before

lots of curry

so do this

eat stirfried beets and aspargus in curry, try not to chew the aspargus those long strips of fiber are what you want.

then finish it off with a bunch of dragon fruit

a short time later all of it will go flying out of your bowels at ones and when it does, the combination of blood fre, long stringy work like fibers little red dots, the smell of aspargus urine and the curry will be so horrific you will have people demanding that a security guard stand watch outside the door.

good luck and god speed.

I've never been to /ck/ before.

Like half of the other boards, it's just never something that occurred to me to do. Never crossed my mind. But just a few minutes ago, as I was writing out my shopping list, I thought to myself "what are some delicious meals I could make? You know what, why don't I check out the Food & Cooking board for inspiration!"

This thread was the first thing I saw.

And all I did was nod, /ck/. All I did was nod.

licorice for green shit

>>4778954
OP here, thanks a lot.

I appreciate all the suggestions, but I like to eat healthy, so I won't be eating straight food coloring or anything like that.

The curried beets and asparagus sounds really good for shitting, but not for taste. Maybe I'll just make some curried chick peas and eat roast beets and asparagus as a side dish tomorrow.

I haven't eaten dragon fruit to the point that I have seeds in my shit. I'll experiment.

>asparagus and coffee pee
you are an evil person

>>4778976
Don't worry anon, I came here, saw this, thought to myself "Good lord what has /ck/ come to?"

Now I can't stop laughing reading about how people are shitting rainbows.

I love it.

ITT: Troll feed.

>>4777995
Ok OP, this is what I did to my cousins toilet.

I went to the bulk supply store, bought some blue food coloring. I drank 2 cups of this, take note I felt like I was going to die. I fucking felt bad I Wanted to vomit but I held it down, the for the rest of the day I ate only corn, and watermelon. Now the watermelon i ate in specific way I cut it into long strips, and mashed the juice out with the roof of my mouth and let it slide down my throat as whole as possible.
So what he got was a blue veiny cord studded shit. I left that one for him You should do it oo.

OP pop a couple pills with guafasin in them, something like Primatene. Your piss will smell like a meth lab for the first few days. For the shits, drink a dark purple colored soda. That mountain dew pitch black stuff was the best, made my shits evergreen.