/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>10/15/10

And there you have it. /ck/ was never good.

We never joke around. When you joke around with food, people die.

>>4701523
No

We don't joke here.

>>4701585
>>4701562
Back to /b/ i go.

>>4701542

Taste likes taste.

http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZKxhI4I5kq8&start1=&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhW93CV6m-JU&start2=&authorName=Roy+G+Biv

>blast techno

>>4701633
A true /ck/ classic

Tale of Nicola, a new, true /ck/ classic

>>4701633
oh god, I'm so glad someone saved this

>>4701657
Those threads would've had much more potential if ponyfucks didn't identify her with their waifus. Still a good read though.

>>4701563
came to post this one, good on ya.

>>4701633
Yeah... you know when you're laughing not because something's funny, but because you're witnessing a seriously awkward or uncomfortable situation?

That's me while I'm watching this mash-up.

>>4701633
:'(

obligatory.

>>4701802
haha, I loved that shit. Forgot about it.

>>4701740
oh shit, turducken. I forgot about all the hubbub over that

>>4701772


sides gone

>>4701633

HAHA believe it or not I was listening to Mad World when I clicked this.

>>4701563
Nice, I was here for that thread.

>>4701633
This is both the funniest and saddest thing I've ever seen.

>>4701772

I can't remember the last time I've laughed so hard.

>because they were black and the closest thing I had to dress shoes

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KofI6ocTLE8

There's no coming back from this. I warned you.

This was a good one

>>4701929

lel

>>4701802
Every time I talk or read about substitutions, I remember this incident and completely laugh my ass off. Kind of awkward when it happens during conversation, but totally worth it.

>>4701929
Oh god. Let this be a lesson to never cook something new when you have to impress somebody.

As for the smooth moves and the cleats... You can't stop that kind of stupid.

>>4701964
>actually believing it was real

Hasn't browsing 4chan taught you anything?

I'm ba/ck/

>>4701969
Don't even joke!

I don't suppose anyone has that one where anon learns how to live the rest of his life on a pack of jerky?

>>4701633
I find it kind of funny, but I also find it kind of sad.

>>4701980
That the dreams in which you're dying are the best you've ever had?

>>4701936
I was going to post this. Favorite cooking video of all time. His rice krispie treat video is also great but nowhere near this.

>>4701986
>>4701985
these aren't funny though

>>4701995
How can you not find chicken nugger funny? It's something special.

>>4701998
I don't know. I guess I'm just getting too autistic.

*smokes a cigarette*

>>4702005
>that congealed mass of macaroni

>>4702009
It looks like the rice I have in my fridge right now :c

>>4702025
Who the fuck cracks eggs by hitting them with a spoon/fork?


Hell, I cracked eggs when I was 10, and it didn't fall.

>>4702030
Dumb Americans trying to sell dumber Americans crap they don't need.

>>4702028
I like how he just makes a half assed attempt to save the last one then just said fuck it and lets it fall.

>>4702030
It's one of those shitty infomercials.

>>4702042
That's just terrifying

>>4702047
Said funny. Not horrific.

>>4702025
This is the video for that infomercial.

I heard it actually works.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e3z2H1O5zE

And I'm done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHnGMV8yOEQ#t=7s

>>4702060
EZ-scrambler confirmed for work of satan himself.

>>4702064
Ahaha my fucking sides.

>>4701929
I remember this thread, hilarious, couldn't stop laughing

>>4701563
oh... oh that had me crying laughing

>>4701999

>>4702064
wat

>>4701798
oh man i lol'd

>>4701945
HA, one of those is my post.

Anyone have the fukushima tomato? Someone capped and posted it, and I lost the file somewhere.

>>4702175
>fukushima tomato
This?

Anyone want the cooking with Skrillex images?

>>4702182
yeah, that was the starting pic, but the thread capture was good. I'll keep looking, but chances are I deleted it

>>4701932

I laughed

>>4701633

So many people on this website are going to turn out like that guy

>>4701983
lol'd

>>4702109
thanks for making me waste 3Mb of my data

>>4702060
Incredibly usele-
>crack hardboiled eggs easily
Oh shiit

>>4701979
oh dear lord why do I have to laugh this much. It shouldn't be funny.

>>4702183
Eh, posting one more before bed.

>>4701657
How do you live with a piece of shit like this? How? HOW? I would have been GONE.

>>4702060
CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK!!!!
I fuckin looove cocain

>>4701802
People at work are asking me why I'm laughing.

>>4702263
pic related

>>4702183

I do.

Christ, I've only been reading /ck/ for a couple of weeks so this is my first time seeing most of this shit. I'm laughing so hard I think I may have woken up my wife on the other end of the house.

>>4702378
in the plies that anyone on %b% has had sex

>>4702380
wat

No Masaokis, /ck/?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk0FmoYjasY

>>4701657
aw man i loved those threads, i remember catching the one where nicola was moving out. anyone have a screencap of her story about that really weird "wolf" kid who stalked her?

>>4701563
Oh shit
I can't stop laughing

There was one recently where a guy had like, fish or something that he was trying to filet and fry, and things went really bad really fast.

Does anyone remember that/have it saved?

>>4702414
yeah he added oats to the destroyed fish and made a disgusting mess

>>4701772
I cn'at stop laughing
tears and m y side really hurt

>>4702001
I barely even remember what the deal with Angie was.
Only "don't be laughable"

>>4702419

Surely you must remember the boiled mushrooms.

>>4702424

not that guy, but I'm pretty sure i've expunged most of it from my memory, all I have left is the name and a vague sense of disgust.

oh my god, first time on this board and im dying here. tartar sauce for baking powder. haha what the fuck man

>>4701929
oh god
how retarded can one be?
I mean the lobster stuff is just badluck, goofy and a hilarious.
But baking a condom inside a biscuit is just straight up moronic

>>4701772
This brought me to tears.

I know it's not that funny, but my body wont stop laughing

>>4701969
>>4701971
story?

wouldn't you have to use cream of tartar with baking powder anyway?

Oh my god I cried laughing at tartar sauce

My favorite.

Also, screencapping Sceak being retarded is a great ck pasttime

>>4701563
404 sides not found

>>4701633
>http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZKxhI4I5kq8&start1=&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhW93CV6m-JU&start2=&authorName=Roy+G+Biv

omg I can't stop laughing this hurts too much

Anybody else remember this guy?

OC

>>4701740
That list is literally all I see on /ck/. Amazing how it never changes.

>>4701772
I can't stop laughing in at this thread and I know why.

>>4701810
meh. first dud I've run into.

>>4701929
I lost it at
>bon appetit, wanna fuck?

captcha: his dlyahck

>>4701994
I just laughed my ass off.

The simplest jokes are the best.

i dont know WHAT the fuck this was but apparently im the only one that saw it

also some guy posted his garden haul

>>4701563
Fucking hilarious

>>4702497
This

What's the story?

>>4701969
What is this?

>>4701936

>That part where he nearly slices a finger off trying to chop an onion
>That voice
>That overhead camera angle
>That raw beef

>>4703230
I don't think /ck/ is tha place that'd have a problem with people eating raw beef.

>>4701772
my sides have left the stratosphere

>>4701812

>>4703031
Holy fuck.

But...you can actually make dolce de leche with canned condensed milk, right?

>>4701936
Is that real? Is he the reincarnated Daxflame?

>>4703304
Yes.

>>4701657
>its hard to tell your friends to fuck off

lol no its, who the hell implied that shit

>>4703304
Yup

Milk steak and your finest jellybeans.

>>4701929
It's a whole level of Autism not yet classified.

Anyone cap that thread awhile back when the guy was asking why we don't make cheese with chicken milk and pig milk? It was pretty good.

>>4701979

This is so stupid and yet i am laughing so hard.

>>4703057
the nachos thing was fucking hilarious. Never have I had a more wtf moment watching a cooking video

>>4701998
>>4701999
>>4702003
>>4702005
>>4702014

Can some one explain this to me?

>>4703617

/c/k//

>>4702380
u'd be surprised m8

>>4701740
>well done rage comic
Has it really been that long since 2008?

>>4703274
>dat milksteak

8/10 would salivate again

>>4702202
checkmate vegans

>>4703031
I haven't laughed this much in a long time. Thanks Anon.

>>4703476
Wait, where's the recipe?

this guy

>>4703059
>>4703060
>>4703061
oh fuck, i'm laughing way to much at these silly things

that fucking parrot always gets me

>>4703060
>not slapping the bottle neck a couple of times to mix it back into the rest of the ketchup

Condiment pleb.

>>4701563
oh god
i am now contemplating suicide
i have a gun right here
should I do it /ck/?

>>4701633
it's not that sad really

the dude is a school admin, teaching stupid college kids how to not kill themselves

>>4701921
>implying that pie is capable of ousting jews from spot #1

>>4701936
>doubleswee

4chan and hyperbole aside, he is maximum autism

>>4701969
semen in jar?

>>4703617
glock and cheese m8

>>4701633
;_____________________________________________________________;

my personal favorite.

>>4703059
bummed me out to realize the parrot was just CGI for a shitty adam sandler movie.

PS: chocolate is toxic to birds. don't feed them it.

>>4704272

>>4704337
I made that.

>>4702109
>MFW I had canned chili and gin for dinner yesterday.

>>4704669
>dat pose
aaaaawwwww

>>4704342
This one always gets me.

>>4703617
There was a whole thread on Opchan about food and guns....i don't have it anymore, but it was a Progun style ATF thread, except with /ck/ spin

>this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSkT77010fE

>>4704669
>implying it's something to be proud of

>>4704722

>>4704731
Not particularly, I was just happy that someone liked it enough to save it.

>Ramsay memes and this shit (e.g.: >>4704816)

GREAT THREAD!!!

>>4704840
>>4704833
>>4704826
>>4704820
>>4704816

please stop.

>4704840
>4704833
>4704826
>4704820
>4704816

Why would someone make these? The first one was remotely amusing, if that.

>>4704889
How is this funny?

>>4701998
It's funny, I saw the start of the chicken nugger thing because I happened to follow the person who took the menu picture over on Tumblr. It's fascinating to see something snowball like that to the point where it ends up on an entirely different website.

Chicken nugger isn't even funny.

>>4702400
OH DUDE I was looking for that guy's channel a few weeks ago. Thanks.

>>4704902
Are gifs like these and the egg one, and raw hotdogs falling off the grill ones supposed to be autism triggers. Because I'm really angry now

>>4705068
They're from informercials. The fact that you watch them and get angry just means you have a functioning mind which can't conceive of a situation where their product would be useful. This is normal.

>>4701802
Haha, I'm the one who said do you even bake.
OP said no, not really.

>>4704938
oh ffs he's had a new channel for fuckin ages, it's masaoHF

HOLY FUCK WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN PROBLEM WITH PIZZA? IT'S BREAD, TOMATO, HERBS, AND MEAT. ALL PERFECTLY HEALTHY. GODDAMNIT YOU GODDAMN AMERICANS IF YOU JUST STOPPED BUTCHERING MY CULTURE BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION AND ACTUALLY DID THINGS RIGHT THERE WOULDN'T BE THIS PROBLEM.

AMERICAN. "PIZZA". IS. NOT. PIZZA. JUST CALL IT WHAT IT IS. FAST FOOD. GARBAGE. CRUSTY RED SHIT. AMERIKA-FUCKED-UP-AGAINIZZA. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO AVOID PIZZA OP. ITS FUCKING DELICIOUS. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO AVOID FAST FOOD

Two of the funniest cooking related videos I could find:

>incredible speed cooking
>http://www.unblocker.yt/watch?v=74ceC7ERsLc

>how to make fried rice
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUzBriRqY4Y

>>4705080
I get angry because they can't just do things the right way and have to fuck up to such an extreme. Holy shit

>>4705096
Americans have transcended the conventional limits of boring Italian pizza and made something truly special.

This video is called "I Only Fuck Vegans (Hitler Intro)."
Be prepared to have this song in your head for the next few hours...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPMYDdH0YTU

>>4702424
Enlighten me

>>4705122

Thats how infomercials work

>create problem that doesn't exist
>solve it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty6j_BgzUJI

How hard is it to make banana bread or better yet don't buy too many bananas.

Delicious
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cppOojKBNko

>>4704905
Chicken nugger is tryhard as fuck, which is par for the course when it comes to tumblr content.

>>4705528
This is so wrong. There's a gas that ripens bananas so sealing them in a bag would make them ripen faster.

>>4705528
>Look how much faster these bananas get brown when left out in the open as opposed to these bananas in the fridge!
Ow my brain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsrodwSpzYg
Where's the rest of the bacon?

Where's sogwich? I wanna see sogwich. Can anyone post that please?

>>4705528
If I get into a Monkey Bag and climb into the fridge will I live forever?

What, like /ck/ culture-humour or funny shit related to cooking-humour?

>>4705730
>sogwich
What?

>>4705781

The inventor called it a submersible sandwich.

Took a white bread ham sandwich with mayo, and placed it into a broth based bowl of soup. Hilarity ensued.

>>4701523

>>4703032

As if you don't wag it on /gif/ too.

>Error: File too large.
>>>/gif/5810977

>>4701929
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

>>4701999
Thank you, the gun+food pictures can now end.

>>4706192
fuck you its funny.

>>4706256
agreed

>>4703032
>Also, screencapping Sceak being retarded is a great ck pasttime
Following Sceak around is gayer and more pathetic than actually being Sceak. Get a life.

>>4706256
>pictures of guns and food are funny

Are you sad school is starting soon?

>>4706256
it was the first couple of times

>>4705096
Yum? Where the fuck do you think you are? I asked you a fucking question, cunt. You fucking cunt. Bitch of a cunt. I should fucking CUNT YOU YOU GOD DAMN BITCH FUCK I CANT STAND YOU SAYING SHIT LIKE YUM THIS IS OUR PLACE AND YOU TRY TO FUCKING GIRLY SPEAK IT LIKE YUM FUCK YOU WHORE YOU WORTHLESS CUNT DONT EVER FUCKING YUM UP HERE I'LL CUNT YOU THE FUCK UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>4701772
oh my god I loled hard

>>4701932

>>4701772

Holy shit. There really are unfunny tryhards from tumblr here.

>>4705096
>AMERIKA-FUCKEDUP-AGAINIZZA
Ameritard here, laughing heartily

>>4705111
>take the jus
>whep it in there

>>4708444
Every day, my reason to keep on living becomes less and less

>>4701969
>>4701970
Bitch you have absolutely nothing on bossnig. He was the single the worst plague this board has ever witnessed.

>>4708573
>swimps
way funnier than it has any right to be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtrZtO7ngTU

I like jaybobed.

If any of you grew up with a dad who could cook great, this guy reminds you of him. Really simple style cooking, something everyone can make and leans towards southern cuisine.

One of my favs is his breakfast in a cast iron skillet.

>>4708444

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuyo0JrHc0I
I feel obese just by looking at it

>>4701802
I laughed until i cried, holy shit.

>>4703537
>chicken milk

>>4701994
WHAT ARE YOU DOING SQUIDWARD
GET OUT OF THE FRIDGE
IT ISN'T EVEN UNDERWATER

>>4701802
>Tartar Sauce 2
>2

????????????????????????????

>>4709780
I fucked up the first picture, so I made another one.

>>4709785
Damn

>>4702032
Stay autistic, fucktard.

>>4703304
Yes, it is true. My mother makes caramel pie by boiling condensed milk until it caramelizes. You just have to always keep the cans covered with water or that will happen.

>>4709791
Nah, relax it's the same, just fucked up the resolution and some spaces left in white.

>>4704820
>if you don't eat these eggs, they're going to hatch

raged

10/10

>>4701633
Literally the greatest thing I've ever seen.

>>4709984
How does it feel, now that you know your life has culminated in watching that video and you will never know anything more fulfilling?

Jesus fucking Christ you're all neckbreads.

>>4712476
welcome to 4chan!

>>4701936
Is this nigga really wearing a tie with a t shirt on? And why is his parent filming all this and not helping him. wtf

>>4712518
Think the tie is part of his love for Spongebob, along with that annoying as fuck squeal.

>>4703304
Yes, and it is sooooo delicious. Just be SURE to keep the cans covered. And you have to boil it for like 4 hours. Is it 4? Been so long, I'd have to ask my mom.

>>4701936
10/10 would rage again

>>4705096
dat delicious copypasta.

>>4704772
>>4704775
>>4704777
wow. you've managed to find the three worst shouting ramsay meme's in history and post them all in this thread. congrats.

>>4713448
Putting on my autism hat for a second.

Those are image macros, not memes.

>>4713424

Fluoride poisoning, my favorite!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POnxAoHl1qc

>>4703063
This one always gets me.

>>4708688
>Bimbo

How fitting.

>>4713424
someone post all of these

>>4701802

i can't open it
can someone re-up pls?

wow. i laughed, i cried, i was scared

great thread

>>4714622
:(

>>4703670
Indeed it has. I didn't think people would repost that image that much when I made it.

>>4703097
You're right. I've considered updating it, but then there's really not much to update about it.

>>4705528
I might like that if I live so far away from anything that I can only make it to the grocery store once every fortnight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cppOojKBNko
TOO RETARDED TO USE FORKS? TRY THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksWMGi9rbOE

>>4706264
There's a difference between following someone everywhere hoping they do something stupid and pulling out the camera when you happen to run into them doing something stupid.

>>4705748

I still have that video in case anyone wants to know they are made. Quite interesting. Unfortunately, it's in German.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1-R8mizqRc

lets be all honest here how many of you dont like the some of these people who post on here that write things like bad crap about you and it just gets you mad and the other people probally think there just angry cause they have no life so there just going to be angry at other people but once your mind gets bad cause the angry people try to hurt you include the angry women that smells bad cause they dont care what other people think LOL but anyways like im tired of them there the ones that try to take away fun there the ones make the rules there the ones that don't like people who use drugs and look down on them there the people who try to make fun of people or yell at people who don't use bad grammer if you look at the movie juice its everyone who was in juice besides tupac and they do act really werid and all possed anyway my point being i know the people out there are too lazy to say anything or powerless to say anything cause the angry people will yell at you and try to hurt you with hosiltilty and keep trying to judge you so you feel bad about yourself and cant express yourself and make you lose yourself people like oprah i just want to say i hate being around the fucken ugly lame cloest homosexual angry people theres nothing good about them besides some of there subissive women with bad breath but dont care about it
but besides that theres nothing out of it and the angry people make it harder for me to try to get with them cause they'll tell them there going to be used for sex or try to hurt me so the angry people can keep can keep bothering us or me but there like everywhere and they like to act evil and noone wants to be around them and try to keep everyone sepreated i just want to find away to get the angry people away from me and stop trying to follow me and stop letting the angry women to try to bite off me and try to do everything i do so she can steal my idienty so she can keep hurting me thats all angry women try to point out flaws but why they do that

>>4705748
fuck me that's brilliant

>>4714997
The occasional drawfag would draw the /ck/ newfag comics. I miss those.

>>4714979
>Chapter 21: Submersible Sandwich

>>4715179
Yeah those are amazing.

>>4715233

>>4715235

>>4715237

>>4715239

>>4715241

>>4715243
>>4715241
>>4715239
>>4715237
>>4715235
>>4715233
Excellent.

>>4715243
haha those are great