/ck/ - Food & Cooking

avoid all starches in general, high ticket items like beef and fish first and the only crab you should be eating is the legs, any other dish that has crab in it is using the imitation stuff.
sushi is a trap, while you think you are getting a great deal by getting that expensive fish they are actually using it to get rice into you and make you stop eating faster.

I alternate my plates
hot savory
hot sweet
cold savory
hot savory
cold sweet
hot savory
and so on
keep different temperatures and flavors from plate to plate so you don't get burned out

if possible ask for a pitcher of water too because another common tactic is they do not keep your glass full so you can't eat as much and they basically try to choke you out.

this comes from a man that has been kicked out of 3 different buffets for over consumption

>>4430991
Nice job. Thank you.

Inb4 fatty jokes. Some people must accept that no matter how hard some of us try, we gain weight.

>>4430991
>lists a pattern of six plates
>"and so on"

Ye gods, man, save some food for the rest of us!

>>4430981

>How do I win at a buffet

apparently you never saw War Games.

>>4430981
are you fur realz?

Assuming you aren't being obnoxious and are at the buffet for about 2 hours. How do you get kicked out? I assume most people are there for an hour anyway, maybe 45 minutes.

>>4430991
you eat at least 6 plates at a buffet? how much do you weigh?

>>4430997
>scientifically determines the best way to cram face with the maximum possible amount of food at a buffet
>"hurr durr why can't I stop gaining weight???

just eat whatever you want, who cares

>>4430991
>6 plates of food+
>kicked out of 3+ buffets
You must be fucking HUGE. my brother eats around 3-4 plates and he's 6'9 350lbs

>>4431011
there's a time limit for buffets, I thought you were supposed to eat until you're full.

>>4431013
a normal 190lbs

>>4431015
If you eat what you want you get ripped off
There's an art to getting your money back

>>4431022
>caring this much
you're going to a buffet

>>4431019
You make it sound like everyone is on a timer.

>>4431022
....if you go out somewhere to eat and your main objective is to " get your money back" then whats the fucking point. Go to the grocery store and buy shit thats on sale if your worried about saving money.

>>4431022
So what's the point of going at all if you don't eat what you want? So you can get a good deal on food you didn't want in the first place?

>How to win at a buffet?
>Be fat
Think you are good to go
>Wear adult diaper
>Pig out til they kick you out
>Try not to outgrow your already xbox hueg diaper

>>4431033
This, a million times this. Went to someplace in Bangkok with a buffet, and I got a bowl of soup - my brother-in-law lost his shit about me eating soup because "gotta get our money back" - jesus tits, eat what you feel like eating, the fucking soup smelled delicious.

>>4431020
Bullshit. Just bullshit. You know how to prove me wrong though..

When you eventually get full make sure you go to the restroom alone right and make sure its only you there. Then throw up as much of the food as you can possibly throw up. Then go at the buffet again. I do this when I get extremely full.

Also if there is like a lounge area with a coach or some kind of a bench you can also take a quick nap there so you can eat again later, its quite possibly better if you have another person with you on the couch so you don't look like a homeless person.

>>4431105
Word. 190kg I may have believed.

>>4431105
Maybe he's a swimmer or something? Or he dirty bulks then cuts? Or only goes to buffets once a month or something?

>>4431028
That was supposed to be a question, I've never been to a buffet at a nice place that had a specific time limit.

Even the shitty ones have a time limit not really out of "Don't eat too fucking much" but because there is literally a line of customers waiting for a table that goes from the front desk all the way out the door and into the streets on some days.

>>4430981

3 Plates Beats the House

As suggested don't eat rice. I also alternated between heavy stuff like meat and then light stuff like fruit.

>>4431020
lol
no fking way you can eat 6 plates of food in one sitting

>>4430997
some people must accept that they aren't trying anywhere near as hard as they think they are, and more than likely trying the entirely wrong things to begin with.

>>4431130
I've never been to a buffet that busy. Even so I don't see how anyone would know you were there " too" long. Last one I was at I saw a cleaning lady come around, but she looked like she could give two fucks. I stand by my point that if you aren't being obnoxious, then you could be there a long time. Your packed buffet of course being an exception. A line at a buffet, wow!

>>4431105
I'm 140lbs and I can easily eat 6 plates. It's just being lucky enough to have a big stomach. 90% of the time I eat healthily and don't even eat big portions... then when I go to a buffet, I can still manage 6 or 7 platefuls; I must just have a naturally huge stomach. I recently went to a Chinese buffet and had 6 plates, and wasn't even full, but I was going out drinking afterwards so I didn't eat any more.

What? Six plates is nothing.

Unless you're some fatfuck that makes jenga towers out of your plates.

Or are plates in clapistan huge?

>>4431105
A military friend of mine got kicked out once for eating too much. So, he could be very physically active.

>>4431158
I believe nothing of what I hear and only half of what I see when it comes to the internet. Without seeing a pic, you are 300 pounds to me.

>>4430997
>>>/fit/ would like to have a word with you, fatass.

On your first trip to the buffet from the table, you have two goals:
1. Collect your table's condiments. Put many tiny cups dishes of dips and sauces on a dinner plate. This will save room for future trips.

2. Reconnaissance. Just take in the lay of the land. What looks delicious, what looks sub-par. What are their money makers and what are their loss leaders.

Don't forget to have a salad or two along the way. The French serve salad at the end of a meal, because the fiber acts as a digestive. You can use this to your advantage, and it makes a great palate cleaner between courses.

Never put too much on a single plate. You have plenty of chances to go back for more, but if you fill up on chicken balls you'll never make it to the dim sum.

>>4431171
Well, okay then, believe what you want. But if I was going to lie, I'd make it something worth lying about. I'd lie that I'm a millionaire, or that my girlfriend is a model. I wouldn't lie about how many platefuls of food I can eat.

>>4431175
This is the internet, everything is a dick measuring contest and for some reason everyone wants to win.

If you're only allowed one trip, follow the advise of japanese engineering students.

>>4431156
The majorit of those that have that sort of timing system are usually the Asian style BBQ or hotpot buffets, where you have some cold dishes and precooked food but the majority of if is raw so you can grill it at your own table and the Japanese style ones where it's not technically a buffet but you order as much as you want during that time period (but they charge you if you order too much and can't finish it if it's a unreasonable large amount of wasted food)
The price is probably 25 to 50% below the 'normal' price for a buffet in say.. a hotel and the quality isn't as good but it's still decent.

A friend who used to work in places like this says a tray of a hundred or so spring rolls are usually gone within 15 to 30 minutes; average turnover rate of those places during dinner time is around 500% during the weekends. Tack on another 250 to 500% during the holidays.

>>4431175
The number of platefuls you can eat is not in question. Where you put it is. >>4431171 and I don't see you putting six plates in a 160-190lb frame. I could, maybe, if you put the mass of a PB&J on each plate and only went to buffets every once in a great while. But if you're sitting there trying to work out how best to shovel your face, you're probably not that kind of buffet-goer.

>>4431178
Well I'm not going to take a picture of myself, so I'll leave the believing (or not) up to you. It's really not that hard to eat 6 platefuls of food unless you have a tiny appetite or you hate food.

>>4431182
I don't 'sit there and work it out'. I just eat until I'm full. And it turns out that 6-8 plates is when I'm full. I'm really not lying about my weight - I'd have no reason to, let's be honest. But as I say, you can believe what you like.

>>4431182
>>4431191
Oh, and I do only go to a buffet maybe 5-6 times a year - it's not as if I go weekly.

I'm more surprised that people cant eat six plates.

Do you stack your plates like uncultured savages? Are your plates the size of manholes?

>>4431182
Michael Phelps weighs about 190 lbs and eats 12,000 calories a day

My most recent buffet trip I ate 4 plates of shit (including a few slices of pizza and half a small plate of pasta) and then a big plate of desserts.

It was kinda horrible. I was literally stuffing my face for the sake of stuffing my face and trying things. Next time I'm just gonna eat a moderate amount.

All you people who are saying shit like "pick specific foods only!" and "throw up so you have more room" are the stupidest fucks I have ever seen. Most buffets aren't even that expensive. You really think it's worth puking your guts up and not enjoying your meal because apparently $20 is too expensive to have a nice varied meal which will fill you nicely? I can't believe how serious you people are getting over eating as much as you can possibly hold.

>>4431200
He is also a drug ridden olympic athlete

>>4431194
Actually yeah, when I go to a buffet, I fill the plate. I don't *stack* anything, but I'm not coming back with 1-2 items on a plate, not touching each other.

I'm 250lb+ and only eat 2-3 plates at a buffet, including a small dessert one.

>>4431200
Michael Phelps doesn't get his 12,000 calories from the Golden Dragon Buffet.

>>4431215
Are YOU an olympic athlete?

Checkmate atheists.

>>4431215
Probably cause they're not stupid enough to let him in.

>>4431204
The buffet I frequent has $8 for lunch for adult and $14 for dinner.

I can't wait to be a senior citizen and just get cheaper shit and not care what others think.

>>4431213

>>250lb
>>thinks his desert plate is small

I just realized why I feel so full AT the buffet, but then hungry again an hour or two later, it's the rice I eat. But I fucking love fried rice and Sesame Beef, Sweet and Sour chicken, etc. on top of it, with some peppers.

I don't get it. Isn't the point of the buffet to eat food that tastes good, and not "get your money's worth"?

>>4431235
Typically no more than a brownie (4cm2) and maybe a scoop of ice cream to go with it. Sometimes, if I'm extra indulgent, a bit of pie.

Yes, a small plate of dessert.

>>4431301

The point is your fatass doesn't need any desert. How tall are you?

>>4431279

In my homeland of the lower Midwest, quantity is a quality all its own.

>>4431301
>4cm2

I assume you mean 4cm^2, which implies you exist in a 2D plane. Okay.

>>4431308
I grew up in the Midwest, and thus have visited plenty of buffet (although, only the Chinese ones were very good). You go to a buffet to eat a lot, definitely, but there isn't a strategy to it.

>>4430981

They was to win at a buffet is to eat what you want to eat and what you will enjoy.

If you go into a buffet looking to cause financial harm to the owner of the restaurant, then your priorities are way the fuck out of whack.

There were a couple guys in Boston recently that wanted to get the most out of a situation by hurting people... I can tell you that karma is a bitch.

guys, how bout you guys fucking take a picture of everything you eat? I used to have more pics on my crashy laptop but this is the most recent one.

I could have eaten more but didn't want to feel sick, and I didn't train for it

>>4431205
>smokes weed
>drug ridden
Pick one.

>>4431343
Well I was talking more about the state of the art roids and shit he's on but okay.

>>4431342
>being trashy enough to take photos of the shitty food you eat

>>4431349
I don't give a fuck, I do this in the name of objectivity

>>4431342

You ate mostly rice. I hope you paid less and a tree fiddy.

>>4431313
I meant 4cm2, the compose key didn't take. And I assume most people don't think I'm eating a 4x4x32cm brownie. Common fucking sense, failtroll.

>>4431353
yeah i know, this place had lots of meat only items but it was so compelling to try various rolls

They didn't have sashimi though, but had popcorn chicken, shrimp tempura, fake scallops, pork and chicken cutlets, teriyaki beef, skewers. Food was meh, and I think i preferred this other AYCE sushi place that had way less items but had salmon sashimi

>>4431353
i wouldn't say that was mostly rice, the rolls seemed to be well filled, but he definitely didn't go full jew by only ordering proteins

>>4431369
Okay, it's 4chan that doesn't take. So yes, 4cm^2.

>>4430981
I dunno, I keeps it simple. Low on rice, noodles, bread and sushi. One tip is to eat slow, don't swallow everything like a motherfucker.

Here we are allowed to sit at certain buffets from 3-5 hours so we take our time. Not sure about your time limits.

There's been allusion (the Michael Phelps posts) to it, but nobody has come out and said it blatantly.

Smoking weed before you go out to eat obviously helps. Friends and I used to get super baked, and go to buffets and eat a ton, but that was a rare occasion or for celebrations and such.

One time a friend and I actually won a local eating competition while super high. We won 500 bucks (250 each), for eating a 28" 12 pound pizza.

http://www.politospizza.com/monsterpizzacontest.asp

It was still hard to do while baked, though. I couldn't imagine doing it sober. I kept it down enough to get the money, and have my photo taken, but then walked out, across the street to the local library, and vomited in the bathroom.

>>4431172
why are you suggesting a homofag feels board for tryhard insecure people for someone who probably wants to lose weight?

>>4431178
most of /ck/ seems to hate food

>>4431013
>>4431017
I weight 245

>>4431667
The one time my friends and I tried this... A goddamn table full of cops in uniform came in and sat behind us.
Shit sucked, we managed two plates each before the paranoia got too bad and we left.
Then went across the street for wendy's

>>4431721
Grossly obese? Sounds about right.

>>4431191
It's not that you're lying, it's that you're wrong and exaggerating. You probably have 3-4 plates. You say we can believe what we like. Ok. You don't eat 6-8 plates of food. Ever. Honest.

>>4431812
Could be worse. From the looks of things, USians are moving steadily towards a 300lb majority.

>>4431812
I'm not grossly obese at all though, if you looked at me you wouldn't think to yourself OH GOD LOOK AT HOW FAT THAT GUY IS!!!
I'm pretty solidly built, I don't sag and just look like a big football player.

>>4431667
I like to get real baked on an empty stomach because not only does it get me mad high but it allows me to eat double what I could do sober. The only drawback of this approach is that it lacks planning

>>4432003
I also like to go baked but mostly because I appreciate the food more. Well it SEEMS like I do any way.

>>4430981
such a poor fag.. srsly eat what you think is good, try things you havent eaten before.. my god how fucking retarded are you

>>4430997
THATS THAT BULLSHIT! STOP EATING SO MUCH AND YOU WONT GAIN SO MUCH WEIGHT FUCKING HELL SO MANY RETARDS IN HERE!!!!!!

>>4431987

LOL

Best method is stretching your stomach with water

>>4431014
I have ate at a Chinese buffet probably six times this school year and I have lost weight. But that's bcuz I have changed my diet and buffets are my cheating meals.

There was an article, i can't remember where it was from, that explained that people subconsciously overeat at buffets because they need to get their "money's worth"

However, if we think about it, if the buffet is around $15, that's one plate of decent food at your average chain steakhouse or an entree and app from a place like chili's.

You don't need to consume 4 plates of food to match that $15. Besides, the food prepared at buffets is so cheap that they're guaranteed to make a profit.

>>4430997
Easy calories in vs. calories out, faggot.

I can easily lose 1-2 lbs per week eating healthfully with the right portions and no exercise.

People who say what you say clearly have bad eating habits or eat terrible foods.

>>4430997
If you ketp a food journal and accureately kept track of how much you eat, you would see that you are eating far too much

>>4431219
An Olympic athlete is a good publicity so why wouldn't they

>>4432514
buffets are actually more lucrative for the owner than a take out place.
Think about it, most of the time you order yourself a nice spread from take out you are getting two solid meals out of it for half the price, at a buffet you are paying twice as much and only eating until you are full one time.

>>4430997
>no matter how hard some of us try, we gain weight.
What is it you try at? If it is not overeating, maybe you shouldn't be in a thread asking advice how to pack as many calories into a single buffet outing.
If you are actually trying to lose weight, youaredoingitwrong...

>>4432586
Oh, yeah I know. It's a smart scheme really. Not to mention that buffets are designed to get you out of there quickly. I've never been to a buffet where I didn't feel rushed. (Or the seating was just uncomfortable, etc.)

Imo eating two plates of food for right bucks is already a win. I love being able to get a to go box at Chinese buffets for eight bucks. Don't have to force myself and left over are just as good

There are a lot of dumbasses either lying or exaggerating in here.
I'm a fucking fatass of the highest degree...currently 370 pounds, and I can eat more at one time than anyone...
..and I can only eat about 3-4 plates at a buffet. 5 max if I'm not having drinks or starch.

How much is 12 pounds of food? a friend of mine is about 7 foot or so and weighs maybe 250-275. I've seen him eat panfuls of food, and he'll ask for more.... He also smokes a ton of weed and could outdrink anyone.

>>4433892
Belt of fat bro

>winning at a buffet
jesus /ck/ it's like you guys can only eat out twice a year

>>4433892
probably because "plates" doesn't accurately measure the intake of food everyone is getting.

Not only do plates come in different sizes but people fill more food on their plate than other people.

Stop getting pissed at nothing.

>>4432633
>I've never been to a buffet where I didn't feel rushed.
Oh man, you have to try this some time.
>Just swam damn near a mile
>Burned a ton of calories, rarely stuff my face at a buffet
>I am going to eat ALL of the calories and not feel guilty
>Eleven AM
>The place literally JUST opened, there are about five old people and a fat kid in the restaurant
>booth to myself, no one near to bother me
>read a book and stuff my face
I think I only made it to four or five kinda small plates, but I ate what I wanted and enjoyed myself thoroughly.

>>4435260
jon stewart used to look like JD from scrubs?

>>4431689
Never posted, never more than glanced over the first page, but the sticky is god-tier.

>>4431179
>one trip
>buffet

...I honestly have never heard of a buffet that only allows a single pass. That seems like the antithesis of the concept.

>>4435260
>>4435265
Fuck he looks so young here.

~125lbs 5'4
6-9plates each time I'm at an expensive buffet, these are all the normal sized plates they give
2-3plates of seafood especially clams, I stack crustaceans so yes, they are full plates. I just wished that they shucked oysters cleaner. If I eat fish, I go for the sashimi only, not wrapped with rice.
2plates of beef and chicken
1-2plates of salad no dressing, another smaller plate of spinach or broccoli if they have it
1plate of whatever appetizers they have+bowl of soup
then depending on how full I feel, fries and mash before doing desert which would be jello, some fruit cuts, and a few pastries.

I mostly drink water but I will sip soda if I'm in the mood. Water and salad helps me regain my appetite so I'm not going through the plate of salad by itself rather just a leaf or two inbetween my other plates. I do not go for sauces except gravy for the mash and that's near the end. By the end, my stomach is bloated and I would have to loosen my belt and sit down for an hour or so before I can walk around again without any pain.

>>4431227
You won't be able to eat as much then and you'll have problems digesting it man. Seniors got it rough when it comes to bodily functions, it's the only thing they can't enjoy in retirement.

Why don't you eat what you enjoy instead of trying to maximize the cost of your meal?

I've never heard of anything so cheap and undignified. Then again, you are the type of person that visits buffets.

>>4431119
>>4431105
>implying this guy cant eat 60+ hotdogs and keep a lean figure

>>4435322
>$50/adult at Las Vegas at dinner time.
>~$30/adult in the Bay Area for good places that aren't chinese bullshit

You think I'm not enjoying my food? Hell yes I am on the few times a year I do go. I'm eating everything that I don't get to eat all at one place rather than the shit I can get easily at any other place seperately and seeing how much I can put into my stomach is actually fun on these occasions because everyone else thinks I can't eat that much due to being so small and looking like I'm underweight all the time.

I also get bored of eating the same thing after awhile and just stop eating even though I'm not full(which is why I can't do food challenges), buffets are the perfect place for me to eat a variety of stuff and not get bored.

Maybe you should stop going to cheap buffet places where they serve cheap garbage that you have to force yourself to enjoy a few dishes.

>>4435382
>implying that guy eats 60+ hotdogs every day/week/month
>implying that guy doesn't spend an hour after the contest purging

Chill guys. I can eat six plates + dessert in one sitting and I weigh 177

>I puke it up later, but that's beside the point

>>4430991
>this comes from a man that has been kicked out of 3 different buffets for over consumption

fucking lold