/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>have a bitch roomate
>fat, ugly, no boyfriend
>makes herself an ENTIRE cheesecake holy shit
>tells us we can have some
>bitches us out the next morning for having some
>continues to be the weak link in the chain that is our household

>boyfriend's neurotic fat bipolar cunt of a sister
>makes bag of popcorn
>melts and entire stick of butter in a pan and pours it on the popcorn
>doesn't clean the pan

WE EVEN HAD A MICROWAVE

When she moved out she refused to pay the last month of rent and told my boyfriend that if he tried to make her then she'd tell everyone that he sexually abused her.

>Live with mostly girls
>Always the one to take trash, kitchen always looks like shit after them
>get complaints about putting trash bags outside the door so they have to take it when they go to smoke

rage, but moving out in 3 months


one more

>vacuum clean my room ( i live with gf) around 13:00 on monday

one of the skans comes out from her room and yells about noise in the morning

mfw no face

>make salted eggs by soaking eggs in brine for a few weeks
>have six eggs, first three are good and salty
>last three aren't salty, but not rotten either
>someone replaced my salted eggs with regular eggs
I ain't even mad because they had the decency to replace them, but why the fuck would anyone do that? None of my housemates are asian and would have no idea wtf to do with a salted egg.

They loved it

Someone or perhaps more than one person I share a university kitchen with keeps doing some rather energetic frying that gets oil and bits of sauce all over the hobs, counter, walls and the side of the fridge. I've never caught them in action so have no idea what they keep doing. It's at least a weekly occurence though and they don't bother wiping anything down.

This is why I never want roommates. The chances of living with someone decent is so unlikely.

Don't fuck with other people's shit unless you ask and get permission. Don't leave things out or do things that could inconvenience others.

None of this is hard.

>I get to new house a few days before other 3 roommates.
>set up the kitchen with my pots, pans, herbs/spices, etc.
>set up chopping board with the brand new fucking set chefs knives I got for my birthday.
>within half an hour of roommates arriving, they go to come to the kitchen.
>I hear one of the say "holy fuck, look how sharp these knives are!".
>hear weird noise coming from kitchen after.
>find one of them slashing up the cardboard box I packed my pans in, with my brand knew knives.
>tell him to not to do stupid shit with my knives, since they were expensive, and a birthday present.
>he gets pissed, says I'm being an asshole.
>they never use a cutting board, instead, just cutting straight on the fucking countertop.
>they use my chef knife to cut pizzas, and then don't clean them, so fucking cheese dries on the blade.
>they never sharpen them. I always catch them doing stupid shit with them, like using them as spatulas, on my non-stick pans, fucking up both
>Tried keeping them in my room. They get mad, and say they need to use them.
>within two months, the knives are all completely dull.
So, now I'm saving for a new set, to keep in my room, the old ones are pretty much a write-off at this point. Plus none of them seem to believe in headphones, so at night, the whole house sounds like a fucking elk orgy. We've already gotten about 3 noise complaints from the neighbors. They've also gotten drunk, and broken both the sofa, and one of the railings on the stairs.

>>4324778

Any Asians? I hate to pick out a particular group, but stir-fry, especially with shallow woks, is a likely culprit. Shanghaiese especially.

>>4324789

Never ever leave nice things out with people you don't know and trust completely, unless you are willing to deal with repair/upkeep yourself. I have been in a situation where I kept a cable lock on the cabinets I used.

>>4324789
document and sue

simple stuff people

>>4324789

Get off the lease and get the hell out as soon as you can.

>>4324782
I'm this guy: >>4324782. I've been living with these people for 6 months and the only problems are the one I described, someone who leaves pasta sauce on the washing up sponge we share and someone stole a tablespoon of mayonaise from me in October when i left it in an ambiguously communal looking area of the fridge. I've not heard of anyone doing anything worse from people i've spoken to on campus or friends at other universities, so from my experience it's the chance of having bad roommates that's low.

>make chicken and dumplings for dinner
>get called into work, have to go right fucking then
>put everything in the fridge, thinking I can have it later
>drive home later and see smoke coming out of the house and fire sirens everywhere
>roommate left ancient hot glue gun plugged in on cardboard in the kitchen and started a fire

Thank god I have my own place now.

>have an older brown dude as a temporary renter
>deep fries something for dinner EVERY night
>thank god we have decent ventilation
>after 6 months he leaves since the real renter is back from abroad
>he comes back and find a bucket in his room filled with something vile
>all of us shit a brick as we realize its months worth of congealed fryer fat

Thank god it had a lid so we could just take it away with little cleanup but we haven't used our fryer in a while because we got sick of the stench

>>4324792
There are a couple of asians who do a pretty good job of hiding from me, so you may well be right. One of them bought a George Foreman for his room and they don't use the fridge or kitchen cupboards so i assumed they don't use the rest of the kitchen.

>>4324577
>>continues to be the weak link in the chain that is our household
Nice.

>>4324577

A SLICE means a fucking slice. Don't bite the hand that literally feeds you.

>>4324828

>>4324806
stuck with these asshats for the rest of the school year. Fuck my universities roommate lottery.

>>4324782

Don't do it ever, I'm >>4324698 and after multiple horrific experiences I will NEVER live with roommates again even though I live in an extremely expensive place.

>>4324828
>literally
So you're saying you personally hand fed them? Then it sounds like you gave them too much cheesecake and are now mad that they ate it.

>>4324789
The knives can't be a total loss. If you can't sharpen them properly yourself, you can always bring them to a professional.

About every three months, I give my knives a good treatment with the sharpening stones. In between all this, I just straighten the edge with the steel. I suspect I wouldn't really need to sharpen the blades until about every fives months. That said, I'm obviously not a professional chef, and my knives aren't in constant use every day.

Your roommates are assholes. Put together an invoice of the damages you've received as a result of their abuse of your property. Present the fuckers with that and bring them to small claims court if you have to.

>rent a house with gf and another couple
>me and my gf love to cook, they live off of chicken nuggets and the occasional porkchops
>the dude from the other couple makes KD for the first time, had to get instructions over phone
>eats it
"This is perfect, this is perfect"
>2 weeks later, pot from KD is still on stove, with water on the inside
>claims it's ours even though we don't eat it

My difficulties come from them never ever cleaning up after themselves. They make spaghetti at least once a week and get pasta sauce everywhere. They do not clean up the noodles wasted on the floor or the sauce that they get on the wall, cupboards, floor, etc. I seen them spill some between the stoves and cupboards and shrug it off instead of cleaning between. I moved the stove out and there is mould everywhere

Oh yeah, before I moved in his sister had my room. She didn't even know how to make a bologna sandwich and used to ask my gf to do it for her. She is 20. She also was notorious for heating up a can of meatballs and gravy, leaving the pot on the stove to get mouldy, and complained when everyone made her clean it. She would then call her parents and tell them that my gf made her clean every dish in the house.

>>4324559
literally 80% of your post is redundant, useless horseshit

learn to greentext. in the meantime, >>>/adv/

> roommate hoards my dishes in her bedroom after she and her boyfriend use them
> Don't see them for a month
> until they're covered in mold and stuffed in the sink to soak
> stinks up the entire apartment, including my bedroom next to the kitchen
> Let it sit because I refuse to do her dishes
> They sit for 2 weeks
> finally can't stand the smell and clean it
> don't get a thank you
> she steals my crock pot

I'm moving in with my boyfriend soon, but just all that bugged me. She the. had the balls to send me a message 3 texts long about how she's tired of not being able to cook in the kitchen because "I always leave it dirty". It was in a perpetual state of dirt because I was working 12 hour days and she wouldn't clean anything herself, despite how many times I've cleaned up after her. So glad I'm leaving and moving to a better apartment.

>>4324738
>>4324789
>>4324910
>>4324931
I don't get it. I live with my gf and I still will bitch her out if she leaves the kitchen a mess. Why do people put up with this. Take all the shit they fuck with or leave dirty and dump it on their bed.

>>4324940

>>4324931 here.
She installed a lock on her door the first day we moved in. She's also never home, so any communication is through text. I rarely see her face to face. She feels like since she usually only stays in her room and just uses the kitchen for cooking, and I'm usually in the living room watching TV, I get to clean everything since I use the most space in the house. But she locks herself in her room by choice, as I've offered her room to hang out with my boyfriend d and our friends every time she's shown her face.

>>4324940
In my case (>>4324910), the bitching falls upon deaf ears. They're moving when the lease is up at the end of July, so we just put up with it.

One more thing to add to mine: In our house we have a portable dishwasher. It takes less then a minute to set up and it's really not that hard to put the dishes away after. Me and my gf had been noticing that we were the only ones using it so we decided to see how long it took for them to do it. After a week all the dishes were dirty. We were getting tired of this experiment and then we saw them eating off paper plates with plastic forks.
They went out and bought paper plates because they dishes were dirty instead of turning on the dishwasher.

>>4324964
I know that portable dishwasher feel

You literally just put the dishes into the racks inside which are obviously meant to take specific kinds of dishes (i.e plates, and glasses and silverware), plug in the cord, hook up the hose to the sink tap, turn the dial, and then hit the switch.

But nobody can fucking do this, christ

>>4324918
so mad

countersage bump

>>4324918
Are you so new that you dont realize that roommate threads are common on /ck/?

>>4324981
What's sad is when people have a stationary one that's completely set up and ready and they still don't use it. Put the fucking dishes in the dishwasher after you use them. Empty the dishwasher when it's clean, put stuff in as you dirty it. I don't know why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

>>4324964
My friends roommate started doing that. When he asked him about it, he just said "ssshhhh.... We're plastic people now". I though it was fucking hilarious.

>food is completely separate from roommates
>never a single issue with us eating eachother's food
>still tells me I can't have any when she makes something or finds something interesting at the store
>even though she can't cook for shit

As tempting as your mac and cheese or prepackaged rice soup was...

I guess it's an okay thing to complain about if that's as bad as it gets. This is compared to my last living situation where one of my roommates threw parties every weekend until 5 am, smoked weed in the living room, and once broke down my door so one of his party guests could sleep in my room.

>>4324964
M ex roommate decided he had the income to eat nothing but take out instead of doing the dishes. He gained 60 pounds in like three months.

I started cooking for my other roommate in return for him doing the dishes and helping pay for grocery shopping. He thought it was a great deal and would get home made food four nights a week minimum. Fatty got nothing and got super buttmad about how I never did dishes.

I got something similar OP
>Make cookies often
>Douche I lived with eats a ton, but never buys himself real food
>I know he loves cookies, am prepared
>Get good chocolate chips one day decide to make some cookies
>Was working 2 jobs at the time, hardly ever home - very little total free time
>Cookies come out awesome - About 3 dozen made cookies
>They are mostly for me and the bf
>BUT I know the fucker loves cookies, offer him a couple
>A day goes by, roommate is good only eats a couple cookies
>Two days after cookies are made
>I leave for work early, he asks the bf
>Roommate: "Can I have a couple cookies?"
>BF: "Yeah" - leaves for work

Me: Still at work get a text "There's two cookies left.."

Come home, really there's only two left, I had about 4 and the significant other had probably 5 over the two days.
I confront the roommate, his reasoning "They were starting to go bad"


I, do not get mad, but I was pissed. Made the asshole buy me more chocolate chips, and didn't let him eat any more of the food I made

This was the type of guy who would only buy himself cereal, and he would ask to use some bread and would use half the loaf just to make toast..

Oh man, I've got stories for days from living on campus. My college has dorms that are either townhouses or apartments, so there's several of us in one place, and we have a full kitchen.

>come home from class
>roommate is making spaghetti
>noodles, jar of sauce. Cool, whatever.
>proceed to watch her add hot sauce, cheddar cheese, and ranch
>go into bedroom appalled

>clean kitchens are a must for me
>I make sure to do my dishes frequently, usually while I'm cooking
>roommate hasn't washed hers in ages
>tell her to wash her dishes
>she says "well, it's just, life's been distracting"
>tell her I don't give a shit, this is the 4th time in 6 months we've had this discussion
>tell her if she doesn't start doing her dishes, I'll start putting them in her bed
I actually may be making good on that threat today.

>occasionally offer roommate food when I make a bunch
>she starts eating all of my stuff
>start adding sriracha to curb her from doing so
Surprisingly, that worked

>>4324789
>Tried keeping them in my room. They get mad, and say they need to use them.
So tell them to fuck off and buy their own

>vegetarian roommate one year
>sees me separating meat one day after I come back from shopping
>asks how I can eat meat
>tell her it's tasty, and that I want to try kangaroo
>she freaks out, says kangaroos are cute
>tell her I've eaten cat and dog before, and kangaroos are fucking mean and open season
Also, they taste like venison. I rather like it.

>live with a freshman whose had no responsibilities in her life
>half drank cans of soda litter the living room
>half eaten bowls of insta-ramen everywhere
>she freaked out when I started cleaning them up
>her mom would stop by and clean up after her weekly

>roommate complains that she doesn't have the money to eat well
>her and I spent the same amount monthly on food
>she'd buy pasta, microwave meals, and snacks
>she wonders why my food actually looks good
>told her to learn how to cook
>she just ate my food instead

>roommate has friend over
>I had just made a cake for a party and it was cooling in the kitchen
>come back from running errands
>cake destroyed
>neither her nor her friends would live up to it

>Live with 4 roommates
>Only one small kitchen
>Dirty dishes keep piling up
>We keep promising each other to be really dutiful from now on
>Never happens
>We also accidentally break each others stuff on the regular
>Talk it out as we go along, and learn how to function as a group, with respect and forgiveness
>I can't be the only /ck/...

Fucking hell, I feel like it would be best for me not to get a roomate due to all of these stories.
I thought the company would be nice but fuck, doesn't sound worth it at all. I'll stick to my clean dishes and vidya.

>Have a flatmate, girl, doing an art degree
>Used to mix tuna and pasta together in a fucking colander
>Shit would go everywhere
>Leaves her dishes out for ages
>When she does wash them up she leaves them on the side of the sink so no one else can dry their shit
>When confronted she puts on a cute persona to soften it up

>Other flatmate, 21 year old dude who goes out a lot
>Since he's never around, never washes up his shit
>Uses everyone else's stuff (bowls etc) and never washes them
>Stole loads of food from the girl he shares a fridge with
>Cuts his toast on the top of the electric oven and never uses a chopping board, crumbs everywhere

Dude only really does it to the girls though, me and another guy I live with get on well with him and he always asks/washes up after himself. It's annoying when he doesn't know a bowl is mine and leaves it dirty though. Gonna be living with 2 chill guys next year who I get on with and it's gonna be great.

my roommates a pretty nice guy, but he has terrible eating habits. in the three years we've lived together, i think i've seen him eat:

frozen dinners
bagels
raisins
candy
grapes
juices
instant oatmeal packets

that's about it. he also leaves the damn microwave at 1 second whenever he nukes his oatmeal.

ITT: Poorfags complaining about cheap, disposable food

Now if your roommate eat your steak or drank your whiskey, okay.

But fucking cheesecake, really? Cookies? Bread? LOL

>>4325150
have you ever studied?

>>4325137
If you get to choose your roommate, and its a friend you get along with, who isn't an inconsiderate asshole, it's fucking glorious. If you get stuck with the lottery assigned roommates that a lot of universities force on you, then it can fucking suck.

>>4325150
I've had roommates eat my good steak before. They don't get into my whiskey because I threaten them with bodily harm for doing so.

>>4325150
>poorfags
You mean people without rich parents. Anyone who has a roommate, but can afford steak and whiskey has rich fucking parents, or is retarded with money.

>>4324964
I'm going to add more because I want to bitch.

Last summer the same guy roomate decided to pretend he's going to eat healthy. he buys a plastic bag full of banana's on a Monday and leaves it on the counter then procedes to go home for a few days. It was 30*c the whole week. Me and my gf didn't want to clean up after him again so we leave it. He comes home a week later to rotten as fuck banana's. There was rotten juice everywhere and it was black. He throws the banana's out and claims it's soy sauce and that he should not have to clean it.
He also buys apples and doesn't eat them only to complain that they went bad too quick two months later.
Non-food related but he also showers approx. once a month, from September-December he showered around 3 times.

This thread makes me feel better though because I know I am not the only one.

>>4325130
It's not as bad as /ck/ made me think it would be.

>move into campus housing
>share kitchen and two toilets with a dozen people
>kitchen isn't super clean most of the time but the filth gets cleaned out eventually because we put together a rota
>crazy guy on top floor who dumps food in the toilet and leaves his scratched bent pans half full of food out for weeks
>he also has screaming fits in his room where he hits things and its pretty loud
Otherwise it's alright. We're all civil to each other and I'm moving in with a nice Chinese girl and her friends next year.

Some of my utensils keep on disappearing, but it doesn't cost much to replace them and it happens once a month or two so it's not too bad. And someone took a spoonful out of a tub of cream cheese that I left unopened in the fridge once.

>>4325158
That doesn't make any kind of sense, I have had roommates that were on a separate lease before. Also, when I lived on campus a lot of people,even if they do have money, prefer to live in a nice house with roommates and spend their cash on the shit they want,rather than spending it to live alone. There are benefits and drawbacks to having a roommate.

The only shitty roommate I've ever had was this russian guy.

>be me and my cool ass bro tier roommate
>be weird ass russian roommate
>go to top party school at the time, also known for academics
>every weekend we socialize,drink, have people over. Not to the point of being annoying but normal shit
>he's awkward and fucking eats the nastiest food I've ever seen
>he has whole fish, unwrapped stuffed in the freezer and moldy ass mushrooms and god knows what else
>we ask him to clean out the fridge, he refuses
>me and the cool roommate do it, and hide the fish in his room in the ceiling while he's on break.

His mom made use "treats" which was nice of her, but I see where he got his cooking skills from. That shit tasted like grave dirt, and we had to sneakily throw that shit out. I felt bad because she was being nice, but that shit tasted like owlbear nuts.

>>4325191

You sound like an asshole.
No offense.

>>4325191
>but that shit tasted like owlbear nuts.

>>4325191
>Come to america for making of knowledge and success.
>father sell his favorite yak, prakishnayla, to send me here. She was like sister to me, but it is for best. Forever I am in his debts.
>Am make living with americans. Very nice mens I am think.
>I share with them my yak butter tart, and my fermentsed haddock fishes, which my mother send in parcel.
>They eat, but I tell they not like. I still offer, for I am guest in they nation.
>my english not good, so it takes me long time to complete study-works. Not have time to cook very much.
>one day I return from visiting homeland to finds my room is smell of rottings fish. I find in compartment in rooftops.
>why they do this? I only come here to make better life for my familys.

>>4325252
Russian speak is on the same level as bongland talk. Gets me every time.

>>4325252
;_______________________________________;

>>4325252
haha

>>4325252
i cry everytime

My roommates had never lived by themselves before.

They don't know how to clean anything; not the bathroom, not the dishes, not the stove, nothing. They buy a bunch of expensive premade meals that take up 95% of the fridge. I only have room for a half a gallon of milk, some mustard, a bag of lettuce, and some cheese.

They've thrown out my food before without saying anything and their friends have even eaten/drank some of my food before.

I asked them if these used my pans/knives/plastics that they have to handwash them. They ignored my requests so many times that I just keep all my kitchen stuff in my bedroom now.

I've never hated anyone in my life more.

>>4324832
>you are this mad

>not you are this black

>>4325348
Buy your own fridge brah.

>>4325252

This makes me sad.

;_;

>>4325367

I've been checking craigslist for them daily. The ones at walmart cost $100 bucks and I really can't afford that right now.

>>4324832
My favorite part about somebody claiming to be 'drama free' is that they're usually the ones involved in (and starting) large amounts of drama.

ITT betas and nolawyers

>>4325117

Do you know what's also delicious? Emu. Congratulations to Australia for regularly eating both its national animals.

>>4325142

my bf used to do the same fucking thing with toast, crumbs would get everywhere and he would never clean them. I started gathering them up every time I came in the kitchen to find crumbergeddon and putting them on his desk. He got the message and now we have no crumbs.

>>4325079
Hide any food you don't want to disappear in your room
He only gets it if you offer it to him

Tell the fucker to buy his own groceries or chip in when you go to the store

>>4324747
I chuckled well.

>be in prison
>be Passover
>jews get holiday meal, which includes cream cheese
>buddy sneaks out 40 1oz cups of cream cheese
>make a crust with some cookies from the commisary and some cinnamon
>use french vanilla breakfast essential, and some lemon juice with 30oz of cream cheese
>mix it with a shitty plastic spoon
>put some water on the cookie crumb crust to make it a dough
>heat the cream cheese mixture until soft enough to pour and well mixed
>cook in microwave for 12 minutes
>put in bag of ice to cool down

it was the single best moment of my life. other than the cream cheese, everything else was just shit i found in my locker. the next day we used the other 10oz in a smaller chocolate cheesecake.

we made some fucked up, delicious shit in there.

>>4325095
>roommate is making spaghetti
>proceed to watch her add hot sauce, cheddar cheese, and ranch

man fuck you guys I have had some grand roomies

current one

>authentic mexican chick that went college and has a good job now
>always early on rent
>cooks daily but cleans up
>GOAT rice and beans
>makes tortilla dough every week
>greatest carne guisada
>teaches me random recipes if I ask
>love everything she cooks
>so great we generally decided to split the food bill and I've no problem as long as she makes that great huevo ranchero

she's also ridiculously clean and has even done my dishes on occasion without ever bitching about dirt

>"oh I'm not mad, it's just a few and I was cleaning my dishes anyway, might as well"
>by this virtue I am the cleanest I've ever been to avoid her ever cleaning after me

>her mom is coming to visit
>she's freaking out going around cleaning the walls and going into every crevice
>apparently her mom was once a maid for years and has always been a neat freak so she's sure she'll think she's dirty
>mom is super nice but also obviously looking around for dirt though there isn't any
>still makes comment about how she ought to take care of the boarders of the floor with vinegar and hot water and dawn
>mom leaves and she does it right away

she says from an early age her mom had her cleaning and cooking so going to college and then living on her own is such a relief from that. Also living with all her brothers before she says there's not much of a mess that would piss her off, she just cleans out of habit.

only complaints are that she smokes (though keeps it in her room or outside) and that her current boyfriend is a douche (though she calls him out on it often enough)

>>4325545

How prevalent is rape?

I had a roommate who was also a friend back in 2009. Had known the guy since kindergarten and were pretty good friends.
The most disgusting slob I've ever known though
But you don't find these things out 'til you live with someone right? Plus I had a pot habit at them time and he had connections

>roommates room is trashed
>used dishes and cups everywhere
>trash and dirty clothes all over the floor
>cups full of cigarette butts and ash on the nightstand and desk
We found used condoms under his bed when we moved out and were cleaning the place

Alright now the /ck/ related stuff

>sink is full dirty dishes
>sticky residue all over counter tops
>stove top is coated in grease and used pans
>fridge was full of long expired food and some sort of brown goo is all over the bottom shelve
>Clean out sink and scrub grime off countertops
>throw out expired food and clean out fridge
>wipe down stove top
>put pots, pans, dishes and utensils back into cabinets and shelves
>Try to explain to roommate to keep kitchen clean
>every time he cooks though he leaves it a mess
>leaves ingredients out everywhere

>roommate prided himself on his "italian" heritage
>mostly subsides in Ramen and wolf chili though
>the only italian-esque thing I see him ever make was vermicelli noodles drenched in margarine and seasoned with garlic salt
>it was literally the saltiest thing I have ever tasted
>tell him I have fresh garlic and he could have used that instead of that god awful garlic salt
>sometimes he would make his shitty version of cookie dough, just dough, eat some of it, then leave it all night

Needless to say I only stayed there for maybe 6-7 months and a few years later after some shit went down between us were not really friends anymore

>>4325567

You had me until ranch.

>>4325636
i was in federal prison. no rape, lots of gay sex though. i'd go take a piss at night and see 2 or 3 guys leave the shower stalls. and you'd see 4 feet sticking out a bunk.

>>4325445
I actually almost bought emu once. I'll put that on my to eat list. Let's see, there's gotta be more stories.

>Making potato soup one day
>roommate insists on helping
>fine, sure, whatever
>she keeps throwing the word roux around while I'm doing stuff
>"Is it time for the roux? When are we gonna do the roux?"
>eventually ask her if she knows what that means
>"I heard it on the Food Network"

>roommate asks if she can use some of my Nutella, seeing how I had an almost new jar
>thinking she's making toast or something, I say why not
>come to find she's used almost the entire jar
>as icing
>on "blueberry" muffins. You know the kind I'm talking about. The $1 "your blueberries are just blue globs of gelatin and artificial flavor, just add an egg" muffin mix
>All of my rage
She has a tendency to mix that cheap muffin mix with the "chocolate flavored chips". And then wonders why no one wants to eat the muffins.

>inform roommate she should take trash out more often
>normally, myself or our other roommates will take the trash out on a regular basis
>she needs to take a turn too
>she tells me we're being environmentally more conscious by not taking it out more often
>I stare at her, tell her "no, it's fucking disgusting. take the damn trash out."

Freshmen, man. I've lived with all sorts of various freshmen over the years, and goddamn, it's like some of them have never had chores or learned to cook. When did people stop learning how to cook?

>>4324828

A slice is not an actual unit of measurement. A quarter of an entire cake could be argued to be a slice.

>Sometime in 2008-09, be living with roomates in a 4br house
>New guy moves in, early 30s in salesmgr for some co, seems ok
>Dude takes ambien to help him sleep... all is good till one day,
>be playing poker with roomies, probably 7-8 guys playing $1/2 no limit cash game, drinking, etc
>roomate on ambien, comes down in his tighty whities asks us something
>lolwut, he mumbles something and shuffles off
>crashes his vw into neighbor's tree, other roomate's truck
>drives over sidewalk, into neighbor's front yard, out their driveway.
>would randomly ask.... 'hey man, can you get any coke?'
>owner of the house finally has enough and kicks his ass out
>find out later the guy had 2 or 3 heart attacks while living there
>after he's moved out, find a bottle of mexican steroids in his room.

>>4325712

if you're going to buy emu, go for cuts of meat, I bought burgers once, they were terrible, because the maker had subbed in something to make the meat stick together properly. It's quite lean because their bird stores all its body fat in one big deposit (that's where emu oil come from). It's not as gamey as kangaroo, though the meat is almost as dark.

>>4325723
wat

>>4325712
>being environmentally conscious by not taking it out more often
I would've lost it there. How fucking dumb can someone be?

>>4325712
I know. People are squeamish about seeing chickens (not chicken breasts, but you know, a whole chicken) and go 'EEEEWWWW' when I joint it up. I've had people try to make fried rice by taking rice from the bag and frying it. Not to mention no one ever bloody washes up.

So glad I'm living on my own now.

>>4325567
>>4325656
She would mix the stuff into a pinkish glob of terror. She told me "it's delicious!" It smelled horrible.

Why are you mad? They liked it that much obviously.
Here's a story if I was your bf
>gf makes me cheesecake because I fucking love it
>eat the whole fucking thing
>fuck the shit out of op
>perfect birthday
>cake farts under the covers all night.

>>4325756

>try to make fried rice by taking rice from the bag and frying it.

wow. you'd think with google being so available it would be easy to type "how do I make fried rice" in.

>>4325740
I shall keep that in mind. There's a 6-acre international grocery store a few hours from where I am, but a cooler and some ice packs keep the frozen things fine on the trip back.

>>4325747
I've never wanted to smack someone so hard before. She's a nice girl, but so fucking stupid. I can't stand when she washes dishes because they're still greasy.

>>4325756
wat.

What else have I got... probably just some random happenstances.

>watched roommate make beef jerky pancake, and our neighbor ate it

>people adding salt and pepper to EVERYTHING, especially before tasting

>watching people eat bowls of gravy
>also, gravy on everything

>actually go to a party
>overhear people discussing what tastes better, Bud Light or PBR

Going to school in the Midwest/South is suffering.

>>4325461
Passive aggressive as fuck, it's no surprise that you're a girl.

>>4325826

and you're a cunt.

I asked him plenty of times, his response? "They're only crumbs, just brush them on the floor"

>>4325836
Don't ask, tell his ass or he'll walk all over you toots.

>>4325836
Gnaw on his wiener a little bit next time he stuffs it in your mouth.

After reading this thread it feels like I could be a pretty good roommate. Shame housing/renting here is ridiculously expensive and I probably can't afford to board at a University.

I live with 3 other roommates. 3 of us are all good buddies but we always get a random 4th person from potluck.

>1st roommate
>never cooked, just made microwave maccaroni
>always ate out but was in pretty good shape

>2nd roommate
>same thing but he never used the kitchen, not even the microwave

>3rd roommate
>made delicious meals, really good cook
>left extremely messes every time though, and rarely cleaned up after his meals
>us 3 had to clean up a lot after him which was a pain

>4th roommate
>goes out a lot as well
>uses the kitchen but never leaves a mess behind
>very neat and clean person

Been pretty lucky overall. We're getting someone we know next semester so hopefully no more messes.

>>4324832
Why are the times out of order?

>>4325252

>share a reasonably big kitchen with 9 other people
>me and one of the guys can cook fairly well
>clean and tidy, generally well domesticated
>3 of the girls who are our friends
>1 can sort of cook, the other 2 have NO common sense whatsoever
>throwing diced chicken into a cold pan with no oil then turning the the heat on afterwards
>putting massive amounts of pasta in cold water and complaining when it takes 25 minutes to cook
>1 indian girl, cooks nothing other than potatoes
>1 kenyan guy, doesn't cook, just steals from everyone else and denies it
>1 japanese guy, lives off microwaveable lasagne
>1 chinese guy, eats authentic (read: disgusting) chinese food
>none of these people ever do any washing up
>none of them ever throw away food that has rotted
>use all of my stuff constantly
>break my plates

It's hell

My roommate is just a god damn slob. He's been so babied by his mom that he simply cannot function on his own. He doesn't comprehend that if you leave a wrapper/piece of trash on the floor, no magical fairy will come pick it up. It'll stay there. If he doesn't wash his dish within an hour, it'll never get washed. I think his brain just deletes it from his memory. This morning I told him that we were all out of dish soap and needed to get more. I come home to find a few of his dishes finally washed...but we still had no dish soap. I asked him how he did it, and he said he just used the rag and hot water. Any dish he does wash is unexplainably greasy, even if it wasn't holding any greasy food item.

He also still has cookies that his girlfriend made him on valentines day. Unwrapped, sitting in plain site on our counter. He somehow just doesn't notice it. In our 10 months of living together, hes taken the trash out twice. If the bag is full, he will just continue to pile it up. On numerous occasions I've witnessed him put something on the pile, watch it fall onto the ground, and walk away. He doesn't know what day is trash day. Does not know how to run a dishwasher. Doesn't understand that covering a dish in the microwave prevents it from drying out/ splashing everywhere, than asks "who got the microwave all messy?".

He does not know how to iron a shirt. I'm not talking creases, but he cannot get wrinkles out of a shirt using your standard iron. If he opens a new roll of toilet paper, he will not remove the cardboard tube. He will leave it on there, and place the new roll on the ground next to the toilet. In our downstairs bathroom, there is currently one empty tube on the holder, and 3 empty tubes on the ground. When he needs new toilet paper, he just leaves the old tube. He hasn't washed his washcloth in the shower in 10 months. It has numerous black stains on it, and is oddly slimy to the touch

TL;DR- my roommate is a 6 year old man child.

>>4326385
Oh no, authentic food, how terrifying.

The 2 people I live with are reasonably clean and don't cause any major kitchen problems.

I don't have any total horror stories, but here goes.

>live with three stoners
>some kind of dishes rotation is set up that I barely consented to
>rarely actually use that grimy-ass kitchen, spend half the time at gf's anyway
>they spend all week shitting up the kitchen making their abominations
>Barely even home all week, so I didn't feel the need to clean up after them
>"y you no do dishes, anon?" every day until I cave
Fuck.

Cleaning the bathroom was a game of chicken too. Got to the point where my gf wouldn't even take a piss there.

So glad I live on my own now. My place is always a disaster, but it's solely my fault and that's okay.

>2 years ago, first roommate ever
>Super catholic vegan girl
>Her parents were paying for the condo and renting out one bedroom to help with the payment
>Meaning she felt like she owned the entire place
>Religious trinkets all over the damn kitchen
>Tons of Trader Joe's canned organic bullshit stuffed in all of the cabinets
>Also tons of weird handmade containers of soup mix that she got from church sales
>Fridge was full of half-empty bottles of weird shit that she never used the entire year I lived with her (e.g. basil-cranberry spread with sunflower seeds and vegan-friendly parmesan flavoring)
>Freezer was full of vegan "meat" products
>I had a mini-fridge in my room but no freezer
>Bought a few cuts of beef and put them in the kitchen's freezer
>She made disgusted remarks about it every day and threatened to throw it away, but never did
>Didn't know how to cook without making the apartment smell like death
>Burned toast every morning while blasting hipster music
>If I tried to cook food for myself, she would ask a million questions about what I was doing and hover over my shoulder the entire time
>Started exclusively cooking meat dishes
>She stopped

>>4326393
>Any dish he does wash is unexplainably greasy, even if it wasn't holding any greasy food item.

>Have a room mate, white girl
>She can't cook at all, but I buy in bulk so I share my food
>She asks me to teach her how to cook one day
>teach her how to make two staples of my people's cooking, Fried Chicken and sweet cornbread.
>I usually dance when I cook, not some micheal jackson smooth criminal lean or some extravegant shit like that, just a little jig.
>she tries to imitate my dance while mixing ingredients for the cornbread
>somehow end up accidentally dumping all the cornmix into the chicken that is frying.
HOW.

My roommate never cooks anything. The only dishes he makes are a tupperware he warms soup up in and maybe a cup and a plate or some shit so I usually just wash whatever dishes he makes since I'm washing my own anyway.

The most horrifying thing I've ever seen from my ever-changing 16 dorm mates is:
>come into kitchen
>guy asks me if I know who put tea leaves directly in the electric kettle
>dunno
>we laugh a little
>jesus christ, how horrifying
Where do you guys find all these misbehaved disgusting people? Since I moved in there must have been 25 different people living here, none of which were slobs. Albeit most of them can't really cook all that well, but the kitchen is clean.

>>4326393
my old roommate was like this. he couldn't figure out how to put the sheets that his mom bought him on his bed, and he didn't have the slightest idea on how to do his laundry. He lived entirely off frozen pizzas and premade sandwiches. He got an OWI and had to move back home with his parents. I'm sure he was in heaven.

>roommate and me are two culinary students
>have very different tastes in food
>she makes this heavy food that just straightup knocks you out after you eat it
>one night she makes sweat potato pie, jalapeno cornbread muffins, stuffing and this delicious ham
>I just make some wonton wrapped scallops and clams cooked in saki with fresh beef udon soup
>she fallls asleep in her room
>4 am and Im up making some strawberry spheres for my tea
>hear thefire alarm go off
>smell smoke
>its coming from her room
>doors locked
>go outside and break through the window
>shes passed out
>decide to carry her
>cant take her out the window cus its too high
>the place is catching on fire way too fucking quickly
>smoke and shit everywhere
>the door catches fire
>decide to smash through it with my shoulder
> itworks but shit was hot and leaves 3rd degree burns on my shoulder and arm, anda bit on her legs
>carry her out
>she fell asleep smoking.
>drop her on the grass and run back for my fucking knife bag

>>4326393
oh god my sides, I feel so sorry for you

I'm glad I live on my own in my little paradise

I wish I had an entire cheesecake so I could pick it up and just eat it all like a pizza.

>Living with best friend
>I'm from a really clean household, so have no problems cleaning, don't even make a chore list. He generally sees me cleaning and helps out.
>Go home for a week for a funeral, when I left, place was spotless.
>Come back to Apartment, and there is mold on everything in the kitchen, the whole house smells like hot garbage, every single dish in the house is dirty.
>He is sitting on the couch playing Fallot
>"Dude... what the fuck happened here while I was gone"
>Suddenly it dawns on him and he apologizes and helps me clean everything back to spotless

Nice guy, but fuck me I swear he just was blind to cleanliness and order.

>>4326598
>drop her on the grass and run back for my fucking knife bag

>Flatmate can't cook for shit
>It's okay, you can clean the kitchen and I will cook
>Always bitching about how he has to clean the kitchen
>Tell him to cook for himself if he's not okay with it
>We cook separately now, he never cleans the kitchen after using it
>Tell him to clean it
>He goes mad and tells me that he's cleaned it for half a year, apparently he thinks I'm going to clean his shit
>Kitchen is always full of his dirty dishes, I even have to clean some of the dirty pans for using them myself

Also, not /ck/ related but:
>He's going out with a scumbag friend, I have an exam so I stay home and go to bed
>6:00 AM
>Soemone starts ringing at the entryphone, wakes me up
>It's his fucking friend
>Asks me if he can sleep at our sofa, he has lost his keys
>I tell him to enter and ask him why my flatmate isn't with him
>Apparently he's coming later, but couldn't give him his keys
>Okay, I'm going to sleep now I have an exam
>6:30
>My fucking flatmate enters SINGING and wakes me up again
>FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
>They start talking loudly, I wake up and tell them to shut up
>Realize it smells like weed
>They are rolling MY weed
>About to punch my flatmate in the face, they are two so I grab my weed and go to sleep instead
I have just returned home from the exam and the fuckers are gone

>>4326629
>pot meet kettle

>>4326634
What?

>>4326634
what?

>>4326634
what??

>>4326634
wut

wat

>>4326636
>>4326637
>>4326640
>>4326641
>>4326643

he's saying the guy was pot calling the kettle black. it's an old norse saying from grindle's tales.

>>4326647
What?

>>4326647
Alright, now I get what he's saying but i don't know how it applies to my post. How am I being an asshole with my flatmate in the same way he is being it with me?

>room mate is a professional body builder
>eats nothing but baked talapia, chicken breasts and almonds

>>4326664
>tilapia

He's going to grow a cunt where his penis once was. You should warn him before it's too late.

>>4326664
Why is he eating tilapia instead of salmon?

>>4326668
He's on steroids so that'll take care of that
>>4326672
I dunno
He eats salmon often too though. But mostly talapia

>>4326696
So his livelihood is lifting weights? I've never met anyone like that.

Must take a lot of discipline, but unless you become a millionaire by being famous and selling shit you better have a backup plan when you are injured or older.

>>4324820
Are you a Brit? We had a couple of Asians in halls last year, and the only time we really saw them apart from going between their rooms and the bathrooms was on Chinese new year when they had loads of other Asians over and vomited all over the kitchen. Also we were convinced they were hiding extra Asians in their rooms.

>>4326696

It's spelled tilapia. Don't get mad, just a comment. Sage for spelling nazi.

>>4325130
I KNOW THAT FEEL BRO

mind you our kitchen is actually quite big

>>4326710
Yeah
Sometimes he gets pissed if I eat food around him. Not often. but I gtfo cuz I don't want to be a victim of roid rage

>>4324559
Opie if you're still here do you have the recipe?

>>4325720

Do you get angry if you order a slice of pie at a restaurant and they only bring you an eighth instead of 3/4ths of it?

>>4324815

That was quite a twist.

>used to live in a place with a shared kitchen
>keep all my stuff in my room
>no problems

It sucked carrying all the stuff to and from the kitchen but I've seen what those people were doing to the belongings of other's and that shit didn't fly with me.

>>4326926
>It sucked carrying all the stuff to and from the kitchen
That's kind of weird man.

>black room mates
>weird born again christian yet loud rap blasting tyrese-and-jamal-inviting niggers
>they moan at me for leaving a pan out for 3 days cos i couldnt be arsed
>they leave their shit out for weeks on end, even my own pans just soaking on the side for a week
>they leave fake (i hope) hair all over the fucking place cos of wigs/extensions/whatever so the sinks are constantly blocked
>constantly soak up bandwidth so net is unusable

I don't like to be racist but these fucks are making a strong case

Luckily theyre too dumb to notice i block their MAC addresses off the router when they download their bible stories

>Have 5 roomates
>3 of us have meal plans, two use kitchen
>2 Are complete slobs
>One in particular has his mom precook EVERYTHING, and then freeze and send
>Includes things like Hamburger Helper, Tomato soup
>Microwave is destroyed
>Counters are covered with crumbs, weird liquids, caked on food
>Left ground turkey on a paper plate behind the coffee maker for 3 weeks before we found it
>Never cleans anything
>Dishes up to the ceiling with a dishwasher next to them
>Leaves packaging all over everything, even next to garbage can
>Holds a group meeting to talk about how messy we are
>At most we use the kitchen to make drinks and popcorn

Fuck you Donny

>have roommate
>she insists we have separate groceries
>not allowed to touch anything of hers
>okay
>she comes home from work pissed off
>she took a tupperware container from my side of the fridge to work for her lunch
>it was moldy pasta from like 4 months ago
>"you should really clean your fridge more often"

stay out of my side! I'm glad you had to starve at work that day.

Not a particular story, just bitching:

>roommate can't cook and has no interest in learning
>we're bros and I like cooking, so I do all the cooking
>roommate is very picky and never willingly eats leftovers
>roommate helps out with the dishes maybe once a week, washes everything wrong/badly
>yet frequently insinuates that the kitchen needs to be cleaned more often/trash taken out more often
>never goes grocery shopping except to buy bullshit junkfood or expensive shit we don't really need (we split food costs down the middle since everything is shared)
>always coming up with new dietary restrictions because she read some thing about how x is bad for you or she thinks she's fat/etc without realizing what goes into the food I cook

And a recent incident that kind of pissed me off:
>work from home so I was up all night working, wake up when she gets home from work
>we have plenty of food, just no meat/fish, but other protein options (tofu, lentils, a shitload of vegetables, etc) because I didn't have time to go shopping and we eat vegetarian a few days out of the week usually anyway
>offer a variety of dinner options
>roommate doesn't like any of them because there's no meat
>suggests buying meat
>by which I mean she suggests that I run out during rush hour by myself to buy her some meat and then cook it for her
>go get changed to go out since, fuck that's annoying but I guess I could go for some meat
>about to leave
>"Don't worry about it, I'll just eat some leftovers. You don't seem very enthusiastic about this."
>mfw

Dunno why I put up with this bullshit sometimes.

>living with roomates
fucking why?

I have a fulltime job and can afford both my own college classes AND my own place with no financial aid.
>>4326940
>living near blacks
Not even once.

>>4326960
whipped as fuck

>>4325720
don't be a dick, you know exactly what she meant

>>4326965

Cost of living is not the same everywhere.

http://www.coli.org/

And you should wish to be so lucky as to learn some good southern and/or soul food cooking from a black person who knows how to cook well.

>>4326965
Some people like roommates. I can afford to live without one, but I'd rather live with a friend and use the saved money on something else

>>4326965
What college and major? Sounds like you must be going to clown college lol

>>4325130
I know that feel. I live in a university residence, on a floor with 24 other people, and we share a kitchen. The kitchen is almost always clean, not as clean as I'd like at home but pretty much fine, and I have honestly not had any real problems other than having to defer cooking dinner a few times because all the burners were in use.

>>4326992
Not him, but why would that be? Cost? That's more than a bit silly to assume

>>4326995
>not taking their shit off the burners and throwing it into the trash so you can cook right away
Fucking pleb

>>4326998

Please keep shitposting off of /ck/

>>4325711
>and you'd see 4 feet sticking out a bunk.

Shit, man, was the prison radioactive or some shit?

>>4326965
I'm not a fan of roommates but in my case a friend had fallen on hard times and I offered her a room. It kind of worked out because she got a job at a cable company so our cable was next to nothing. She still drove me nuts sometimes.

>>4325461

> Crumbergeddon

I laughed

>>4326598
what no follow up? you can't just end this at the climax. what was the aftermath? her reaction to everything? what did you guys do after? did you move back in together?

>>4327023
Oh that I would understand. I was talking about people who did that voluntarily.
>>4326992
History major. Meh-tier one of many state colleges.

>>4325645
Sounds almost exactly like my old roommate only replace italian with mexican and condom with jizz sock, his "authentic" tacos were mccormick taco seasoning, a shit load of salt and tabasco sauce. He eventually lost his job and i kicked him out for not paying bills

>>4326598
>drop her on the grass and run back for my fucking knife bag

>live alone
>cook whatever I want, when I want
>clean and do everything at my own pace
>never have to deal with this type of bullshit

>>4324559
>they ate HALF THE CAKE

Typical roommates, but at least you know you made the cake pretty badass enough for them to help themselves to more.

10/10 would let you bake for me

>>4324559
OP should make a new cheesecake with laxatives in it

>>4327556

OP should make 13" cheesecakes like any decent human being.

The fuck. 8".

As far as I'm concerned, they had normal portions off a tiny cake. Case dismissed. Court is adjourned.

>>4324559
Definitely says your cake was good though, you should be proud of that!

>>4325720

Unless you're some kind of fucking retard a slice is almost always 1/8th of any circular dessert dish.

No sane minded individual hears "You can have a slice" and eats a fucking quarter.

So I've generally had good roommates. Living with all brothers growing up I'm can handle sharing and getting through bullshit fine.

but this is about my summer neighbors

>live with 4 cool people over summer
>only one other really cooks beside me but others will clean kitchen and sometimes cook
>use splitwise for splitting food and bills
>4 neighbors around our age are cool friends as well
>they come over for dinner often
>bit too fucking often
>start coming every day
>come by for breakfast too
>once we get home they walk in and go straight to fridge
>if most of us already ate at work they just go in and make themselves a sandwich with our food anyway
>yeah this is getting too much
>"We decided to charge you guys. Food bill is now more than $200/week. You guys just need to give 20 bucks a week and we'll call it even."
>all except one are cool with it
>that one bitches up a storm
>bringing up any little favor he ever did to get out of it
>"that time I lent you my car/gave you beer/lent you my car"
>his beer is shit and so is his car so he submits
>still now he thinks we're a restaurant he can be picky about
>demands a cheesecake for dessert
>doesn't want mushroom in anything despite having eaten it before
>complains it's spicy if I use a little chile even though you can't really taste it
>just tell him to make a sandwich
>"If I'm paying for it it should be worth it"
>we just ignore his faggotry and tell him he can eat a dick for free

otherwise good summer

>>4327198
I fell asleep bro, just got happaned to get back from a 600 people baquet. at the time.

>become local hero
>all the small news company HAVE to put that final bit of how other people saw me run back to grab my knife bag
>some of my hair caught on fire
>she became depressed, she nearly committed suicide, saying she could never repay me for what she did.
> her family like thanks me and her dad who was this huge 6 2 bear even cried and hugs me
>I have burn scars from the middle of my forearm that stretch all the way to my shoulder and back, some on my neck and a couple near me left eye.
>she only has a some small burns near her ankles
> at the hospital Im trying to play video games but the bandages make it hard to move my left hand much
>she visits me everyday
>one day she asks me why I saved her
>respond with "thats a stupid ass question"
>long story short, she never leaves me side, we move back in together after I get out,her dad pays for my rent even though i say its okay
>she stops smoking and stops cooking entirely and becomes a beaker instead
>we actually end up going out.

My knives survived undamaged though.
I just had to buy a new whetstone.

>work as a cake driver
>get as much of the best cheesecake you could ever eat erry day
>also cookies
>problem?

>>4327992
>problem?
You're probably look like Ralphie May with even more chins.

>>4327997
You*

>>4327971

Are you guys still together?

>>4327971
So her cigarette caused the fire?
Glad to know your knives made it out unscathed

>>4328022
Yep, and shes still very...clingy i would say.
she almost never leaves my side,
>>4328040
yes they did, according to the fire report they were already burning through shit by 2-3, but the alarm didnt pick it up by 4.
and I know right, I love my knives.

>>4326598
You're an awesome dude. Also, what are strawberry spheres? They sound delicious.

>>4326385
check to make sure that the Japanese guy isn't just an orange cartoon cat wearing a suit of human skin

>>4327997
yes, exactly

>>4327971
>almost die, get saved by a decent human being
>try to kill yourself
why

>>4328146
Guilt. Someone nearly lost his knives because of your dirty habit and negligence.

>>4326393
Does anyone ever think that these folks are going through some sort of depression?
My mom is a slob and leave cigarette ashes all over the house, full coffee filters in the sink instead of walking 6 ft to the trashcan, and leaves the bathroom a disaster area every day.
I'd ordinarily just leave it, but I hate living in absolute filth.
I ask her to please help me and pick up after herself, she said she has no time, but never leaves her room until she goes to work.
I can't wait to live alone, it's coming soon, I'm very excited to show /ck/ my new digs!
Cross your fingers for me.
(we will all indeed make it)
>mfw I first wore my glasses and found the freezer was covered in a layer of every drink she's ever stored in there.

>>4328187

In some cases, yeah. I'm just now getting over a long period of depression and my house is the cleanest it's been in three years.

>>4328278
ditto
hardly clean when I'm depressed just burry myself in books and other means of escape. It's almost like I don't even see the mess or comprehend it's existence.

>>4326393
>I asked him how he did it, and he said he just used the rag and hot water.

actually, to be fair. this method is effective as well. I actually prefer just using hot water to clean dishes instead of using dish soap.

Hot water cleans almost all greasy stuff easily

>Make really good spaghetti sauce
>My mom and brother get into a huge fight because he ate the last of it
>He gets kicked out of the house
T-thanks

>>4328424
lol, come on. Something must have led up to that. Was he a freeloading dick?
Regardless, Curious and would taste/10

>>4325150
It's not about money, it's when you come home and find that what you were about to eat is gone and you have to make it all over again

>>4327955
>>we just ignore his faggotry and tell him he can eat a dick for free

>>4328437
Well they always fought, the spaghetti was just another reason for them to bitch

>This summer lived with my bro
>We would cook shit together almost daily
>Third roommate would always leave his shit uncleaned
>Whatever
>Leave him out of our cooking and buy food together

I don't know how he ate that summer.


>Now, live my other bro
>Buy all food together and split it halfway
>Cook dinner together everyday
>His girlfriend comes up every other weekend and we all cook together
>never any fights over who eats what

It's awesome.

>>4328515
On an unrelated note, I love the show that gif is from

>>4327971
Why didnt you kick down the door?

>>4324931
Hahaha this was how it was when I was living with my then-boyfriend's family. His sister would take all the dishes/cups in the house and leave them in her room to fill up with cigarette ash and mold.

Thankfully we didn't have to wash them, though, but they would sit unclean for AGES and stink up the house/lead to fruit fly and ant infestations in the kitchen.

Thank the gods I got out of that hellhole situation.

>>4324809
Dat split personality

>>4325137
I did an apartment of 8 people my first year at uni. My roommate was chill and we're still good friends, but everyone else was a shithead. We had to kick out one girl and two more ended up moving out. The remaining three argued about dishes (all of which they were guilty for leaving undone). My roomie and I mostly just chilled at another friend's place. Shit sucked.

How fucking hard is it to wash a dish? It takes five fucking seconds. People need to raise their kids with some god damn life skills.

>>4325160
What a fucking piggu

>>4325545
jail cooking is an art form in itself. only i'm starting to realize that its sad that my IRL friends and I can all talk about our favorite spreads and booze-in-a-bag recipes.

>>4326565
You sound like a really fun black guy anon

This isn't exactly related to cooking, I don't think, but they still have some pretty terrible tales. Ctrl+f "Luke".

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6885970/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6898745/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6910746/

I would pretty much hate to have any of you as roommates
>inb4 We would hate to have you, too!

I really feel bad for you all right now.
Currently I got 2 roommates, a very good friend and an old schoolmate.
Best. Roommates. Ever.
Cooking with each other on weekends, cooking for each other (at least sometimes) during the week.
Everyone is tidy, dishes only sit there for a few hours (eg. over night).
Got a cleaning plan in place, flat is always clean and shiny.

shit's awesome

>>4326931
not the same guy, but i think it's actually a sensible thing to do

>>4326960
I knew it was a female even before the first 'she'

I think I'd never live with a female unless I'm boning her. Gives an excuse for putting up with the bullshit

>>4328552
which is?

>>4327824
Am....I.... Insane?

>>4329288
Yes.

I GUESS you you could say I'm one of "those" roommates. But you do it to yourselves. Don't like my mess? Clean it up for me. Don't want me to eat your food? Don't leave it out, lock that shit. As long as I'm paying rent I do what I want in my own home.
>roommate comes home with some incredible oatmeal cookies that his girlfriend boo bear made for him
>Leaves them sitting on the counter for an entire 20 minutes and doesn't even eat one.
>starts yelling at me because I ate half the bag and locked the rest in my room.
How much of a child are you gonna be about food? If you weren't gonna eat the cookies, I might as well.

>>4329420

>How much of a child are you gonna be

if you're trolling, 7/10.

otherwise, you need to look at your self and ask who the childish person is.

>>4329420
.01/10 made me reply

>>4329420
0/10 try harder

>>4329430
>>4329431
>>4329434
I like how you label me as a troll when you know I was in the right in doing what I did. I'm still living here and so are they. Its not as bad as you might think it is.

I once lived with a person who thought the way you fry eggs is by putting your pan on the largest burner set to power boil. They didn't make eggs very often but every time they did the entire pan was a charred mess.

>>4329440
>HURR DURR PEOPLE AREN'T USING THEIR STUFF THEREFORE I CAN STEAL IT BECAUSE I NOW HAVE A RIGHT TO IT.

Fuck off parasite. If i lived with you I would find a way to get rid of you. People that feel entitled to everything sicken me.

>>4329451
>falling for a troll this obvious
inb4 "I was only pretending to be retarded!"

>>4329451
You couldn't do a damn thing about me. You could try to fight me but I'd just call the cops on your ass. I keep all my shit locked up in my room, and I advise you do the same.

>>4329475

you are hilariously immature.

we're all glad we don't know you.

>>4329480
Really now? Please enlighten me on how I'm so immature.

>>4329486

you take things that don't belong to you, then don't think there is anything wrong with doing that.

either that or you're trolling; either is immature.

>>4329451
In some cultures, taking what is left around without care is pretty much okay.

I think we all have that opportunistic streak in us, whether you want to believe it or not. You probably hide behind the guise of manners, civility, etc. when maybe it is just meekness and a fear of doing what is really in your heart.

I have that streak in me and acknowledge it, although individual people aren't my target. I will steal from a store, change bulk codes, get something free if all I have to do is spend 5 minutes of my time lying, steal a nice knife or accessory from a restaurant, etc. It is purely opportunistic and not something I set out to do, but if the opportunity arises I will take advantage of it.

This is in no way a justification, but rather a fact: the people on top have been robbing the coffers or fooling the consumers to line their pockets. They are seen as commendable, productive pillars of society because they haven't been outright caught and know how to play the game. It's natural law man, eat or be eaten but maintain harmony with your peers to a point.

Welcome to life.

>>4324738

You just described my life among my roommates..

Except i live with 2 old ass men and 2 fucking skanks studying (believe it or not) Arts.

Except these bitches always leave the trashbags by the frontdoor, wanting everyone else to take it out, because "We are not ordinary womyn, we're feminists"

They think they are the best cooks in the fucking universte, always leaving the food they made on the counter for 2 days, so that the rest of us can see what they made.

Also never cleans kitchen nor pans after use..

I hate my roommates...

>>4329451
You got tricked.

>>4329506
This. Here we go, thats what I'm talkin bout

>forced to live with people you don't know or like just

sure is Ameripoor in this thread.

>>4329518
Implying such people doesn't exist.

>>4325191

Complaining about someone's food tastes. Whiny babby. How would you feel if someone threw out food that you liked?

>>4329581
Because anon was talking about a refusal to lean out the fridge, I interpreted it as saying that the stuff in the fridge was going bad and needed to be thrown out, not that anon wanted it gone because he didn't like it.

I've been lucky to have pretty decent roommates over the past few years. They all had their small quirks but nothing too bad. One didn't take out his trash, but he ate and had it in his room, plus it never smelled so we didn't give two shits. Another had a quirk of hating to wash dishes, so he'd to laundry and people would clean his dishes. Two roommates I just never saw, they were always working. But the last one was a clusterfuck of absentminded mistakes which were pretty hilarious.

>Absentminded roommate decides to make potatoes, beans and rice
>She leaves to run errands while potatoes and beans are boiling
>A while later I start smelling smoke and I go downstairs
>Water is gone from potatoes, they are burned into pan, smoke everywhere
>Quickly turn off stove and put pot outside, roommate still not home
>An hour later she comes back and asks about the smell/where her potatoes are
>Tell her to not fucking leave the house when cooking, especially for hours
>She says sorry and attempts to clean pan
>Doesn't know how to clean burnt pans so I have to do it for her
>Later realizes she never turned on burner for beans
>She then falls asleep and burns the beans/pot as well

This was also a girl who didn't know how to cut a steak when she moved in, broke plates/cups on a weekly basis, didn't know how to do laundry, and yet made the best goddamn roasted chicken I've ever had. I don't get it.

>>4324940
Dude, no.

Me and gf never leave a fork behind unwashed.

I kinda got into this mode that I must finish washing stuff until the food is done, so after i have to wash 2 plates +pot/pan

To everybody who live alone :

NEVER go live with the people that you like to hang out a lot, just don't, always fucks the relationship up

>>4325797
>>watched roommate make beef jerky pancake, and our neighbor ate it
Sounds like a normal dutch pancake.

>>4324817
Ugh, I fucking hate when people do this its fucking disgusting as fuck
Is frying oil so fucking expensive that you can't toss and replace it?
>tfw black and vegan with creole family that makes disgusting, putrid, oil-drenched dinners all the time

>Housemate lives on nothing but takeaway and rustlers burgers

>Fucking wrecks the toilet everytime he uses it. Absolutely disgusting.
>He starts using cooking pots and pans, what is this?

>Realise he's just cooking Ramen, recommend he try using cuts of meat and veg in it.
>He ignores me, I tried, I tried.

>Weeks pass by, he starts getting things from the butchers in bags. My god, has he been saved?
>Nope, he's buying Parmesans and cooking them in my try
>Not washing my tray, been on the side for a fortnight now.

>Absolute fucking wanker of a housemate

>>4329945
And the award for the most British post of the day goes to you!

My younger siblings lived at my place while they were studying.
I had made clear to them what they could use (And mo defo to stay the fuck away from my knives)
I left for work, and when I came home three weeks later, I find the sink overflowing with dirty dishes, the dishwasher full of dirty dishes, my knives blunted, and my cutting board... I couldn't fucking find my cutting board.
Turns out the little shits had wanted to get a fire in the fireplace for an evening with their friends, and couldn't be fucked to get some real firewood.

>>4329979
>They burnt the cutting board

>>4329979
Jesus! Please tell me they got straightened out.

>>4324559

Thinking this is worthy of a story.

>Make fish
>friends eat all the fish

>>4329973
faggot

>>4329979
Might as well throw in a bit about the two of them.
My sister went to some kind of cooking school, so she managed to make adequately healthy meals from time to time, mixed with a fair bit of snack food (Then again, never trust a thin cook, I suppose). My brother, however, would stink up the whole place with the smell of microwaved hotdogs day after day after day unless I cooked with him, hoping he'd absorb a little bit of it and learn to cook real food for himself. Which he didn't, but at least he didn't die of malnourishment. The fat little fucker would take these explosive shits that smelled like death and fat and hotdogs and cancer patients getting roasted in hellfire and leave the toilet unusable for hours.
>>4329989
Oh, but they did, and I made them go and get me a new plank to use for a cutting board. I imagine their laziness is just because our father spoiled them, but luckily he set me to work from an early age. Spoiled kids who've never paid taxes, made their bed, cleaned a house, or done the dishes will have a hard time adjusting to studying away from home.

>>4325579
marry her.

>My roommate came into some money lately and asked me to help him shop for groceries since he can never really shop well.
>Bring him to sprouts for produce and whole foods for boxed items and frozen meals
>buy 150$ worth, enough to last him a month, of very healthy and delicious food.
>He almost never touches any of the raw ingredients I bought for him, only eats the amy's meals and packaged food
>4lbs of grapes start to go bad in the fridge (and they cost 3.99lb here in utah :/ )

And thats he story of how I got 100$ of produce for free.

>Roomate has celiac disease
>Insists she will have to go to the hospital if wheat gets near her
>Not allowed to store any of my stuff in half the kitchen (Because it contains or has been near something that contains wheat)
>Have to wash /THE ENTIRE/ kitchen after cooking anything
>If I don't do these things, she bitches non stop, then her boyfriend comes over and bitches
>At least she is cute and quite the rest of the time

Living with the disabled. Never again.

>>4330045
It whole wheat flour in her shampoo.

>>4330071
*put

>>4329979
Nice copypasta, I've heard that story many times.

>>4330151
I must be famous!
I've only ever shared it once before this, in a different roommate rage thread, and I'm pretty sure I didn't write it the same way as now.

>Housemate leaves raw chicken in a plastic bag in the fridge
>the chicken goes bad and it stinks like hell
>throws it out and tell him about it
>throws a bitch fit because he's retarded and have no sense of smell whatsoever.
also
>same roommate always leave a fucking mess on the kitchen table after he cooks.
>has the nerve to tell me to cleans up when I always tidy my utensils after using them.
also
>salt can is always wet
>eventually the salt clotted so badly that we have to remove the top to actually use it.
>turns out he use to "clean" the salt can by washing it with the tap

I usually don't have a bad opinion about gays, but this guy is just un-fuckingbearable.

>>4330167

Salt is so fucking cheap I don't know what you're complaining about.

>>4330173
it is cheap, it just indicates that he have no common sense whatsoever.
oh, and not /ck/ related
>came back from christmas break and find used tissures all over my room's floor.
>another one of my roommates finds used condoms on his room's floor.
>the faggot fucked his bf in my and his room because he doesn't have curtains in his own room.

I never wanted to strangle a guy so bad

>>4327824
I do that all the fucking time you damn skank. I say to myself I'll say "oh, Anon, have a slice!" and I proceed to eat my whole fucking cake you bitch fem nazi.

>>4328053
Is she fat?

>>4329420
>locked the rest in my room.
I laughed so hard, -5/10

>>4329420

>>4327077
she sounds like a... crumbudgeon

>>4327824
or 1/6
or 1/4

>>4325826
it could also be a faggot

>>4325836
post tits

>>4330071
but her scalp is no where near her intestinal tract

>>4327824
>costco pizza

>>4324559
>My own fault for offering, I guess.

No. It's your own fault for not cutting a slice and putting on a plate for them. Because of this, they cut a slice that was too big for you. Fucking retard.

>Spend all day getting plowed at work
>come home and my husband has made me this

>>4330640
>Spend all day getting plowed at work
>Come home
>spend all night getting plowed by husband
>All is well

>getting plowed at work

Germaphobe roommate.
>set out three eggs to get room temperature
>disappear into trash not a few hours later
another time
>get CAB corned beef brisket with perfect marbling for St. Pats, put in freezer
>That night "Hey can you shut off the brisket in a hour and half?" Roommate leaves.
>run to kitchen, my beautiful brisket is in a pot of boiling water.
>call him and bitch. "Sorry, thought it was mine. Mine's in the fridge."
>ugliest POS store brand brisket
>lets you know your brisket was gross and had too much fat on it
I had the worst time convincing him that potatoes didn't need to go in the fridge.
Moving out in July.

>>4330682
I also have to thaw meat out in secret, like in my room, otherwise I'll find it in the trash.
"Use the microwave."

>>4330640
Well at least he tried, when did you two get married? Last time I saw you post you called him your boyfriend.

>>4330693
When i found out about what he was about to inherit.
Then i "got" pregnant lol.

>>4330718
I really hope this isnt true.

>>4330720
why? actually pretty tame for the 'fairer' sex

>>4330723
Because I am set in inherit a lot of money. But at the same time its so much I'm sure I could arrange for an accident to happen to someone who tries that.

>>4330689
What the fuck? Even if you're thawing it in the fridge? Or is this just in the sink?

>>4325797
hold the fuck up
>whether Bud light or PBR tastes better
is a legit question.

>>4330754
I can thaw it in the fridge, but it takes all day, and the muscle doesn't relax all the way. For some reason I always forget about it when it's tucked in the fridge too.

>>4330640
lol that thread was so funny

I created a certain copypasta that day

>>4329506
Sociopath, much? Holy fuck.

>>4330784
Nah, that is how a spoiled child thinks. If you beat his ass he would still cry and be a little bitch. Someone who is a sociopath wouldnt do that at all. This person is maximum omega.

>>4330771
No it isn't, PBR is better hands down.

As a matter of fact, any full flavored beer beats light.

>roommate had an incredibly bland childhood growing up
>his parents don't know what spices are
>lived mostly off of overcooked chicken, pasta, and white bread
>apparently they freak out and can't eat anything that is slightly spicy
>is just now learning how to cook

To his credit, he isn't picky and has an open mind about trying new things, but it's a bumpy road along the way.

>he wants to cook a chicken breast
>takes it out of fridge, plunks it in the pan whole
>doesn't cut it into smaller pieces or butterfly it or anything
>"aren't you going to season that at least? with some salt and pepper?"
>"nah lol its fine"
>when he takes it out of the pan, it's not done all the way through because the cut was too thick
>puts it in the microwave for several minutes to cook it all the way through
>eventually tell him that if it's undercooked he can put it back on the heat
>"whoa really?"
>mfw this is how he eats chicken on a regular basis

and another time

>he is making beef stroganoff, the sauce and noodles are boxed but he needs to brown his own meat
>plunks meat down into a pan
>it doesn't brown
>"aren't you going to add oil to that?"
>"nah lol I'm trying to eat healthier so I don't want to put oil in it"
>realize he's using my pan
>yell at him to put oil in it
>he complies, meat actually begins to brown
>he is amazed by this process

He seems to have moved out of his "healthy eating" phase and is back to living off of prepackaged meals, mac n cheese, and pasta.

>>4330835
im crying, i feel bad for him

>>4330835
I think killing him would be an act of mercy at this point.

>>4330798
>Nah, that is how a spoiled child thinks. If you beat his ass he would still cry and be a little bitch. Someone who is a sociopath wouldnt do that at all. This person is maximum omega.
Not really, it is how people who get what they want in life act.

Don't worry, "the meek shall inherit the earth"... lol how is that working out for you?

>>4330720
Nothings going to happen to him, but when we break up I am getting his house, car, guns (because he will be made unfit to have them,) and anything else I want.
He can then babysit the kids every weekend so I can go out and get what I want.

>>4330229

>sides
>in outer space

I can't stop laughing.

When i moved the first time, it was with a long time friend of mine.
His family is fucked up, parents both drink, his mom can't even boil water.
He grew up hating vegetables, etc.

>We move in, we settle, we prepare our management
>I tell him i ate once what he usually ate and it was a disaster
>I cook, i clean my shit, you clean the place, we pay half of the bills, deal ?
>"No way"
>wat
>"I won't pay for any vegetable and stuff"
>We do what i say for a week and we'll see for a change later.
>"Why"
>Because i won't pay half the bill if you eat a pound of meat every day with pasta or fry stuff that will make the house smell like a truckdriver asscrack

First meal.
>Pork chops (blade cut), potatoes with a bit of chives and butter, half brussels sprouts (cheat : crushed crisp bacon and a dash of cream), sauteed shrooms
>He sees the sprouts and freak out
>"DUDE i hate vegetables and these are the WORST"
>Shut the fuck up and eat it, then we'll talk
>As we eat silently while watching the news, he stops eating and look me in the eyes
>My friend sees the light
>Microphone appears
>Start singing "NIN - Closer" with the plate of sprouts in his hands
>Tears his clothes
>Rubs himself with butter, stuffs his nose wih thyme and perslay
>Two girls in S&M black latex outfit come from under the table
>It says "I've been a bad vegan" on the back
>They lick the butter off
>Massive pelvic movements as the song ends
>Finishes his plate
>"That was fucking delicious"
>Don't do that ever again

>>4324918
>>4324577

God, fucking /b/ pre-teens are on /ck/ now? This was such a nice board before these kids started coming through.

>Live in a house with 3 guys and 1 girl
>She keeps making cakes
>They are always very eggy sponge cakes
>Always tell her they are shit
>She thinks I am just joking
>She is a gross fat bitch and lives like a pig eating pot noodles
>TFW I snuck into her room and masturbated with her gross stained panties

>>4330835

Can you not put chicken back on the heat if it isn't cooked properly? WHAT HAVE I DONE?

>Fridge has a slightly weird smell
>My butter has a weird banana taste
>Assume something was weird with it and buy more
>Cheese tastes like bananas
>Leftover pasta dish tastes like bananas
>Open fridge next day
>"Dude, it smells like bananas really strongly in here"
>He hurries over and takes out a brown bag
>They are full of pitch black bananas
>He runs away with them to his room
>He won't pay for the tub of butter I threw away because of his shenanigans

>was a stupid teen
>joined navy
>lived in 300 man berthing (sleeping space on ship) at one point
>pic pretty related
>about 15 shower stalls, 20 toilets and sinks shared by that berthing and 3 smaller berthings
>at any given time at least 1/3 of each of those weren't working

I know it's not very food related (most of those stories come from working in galley) but it's definitely bad roommate related. I can give specifics about either if anyone wants.

>>4331083
Was it hard to masturbate without other people noticing?

>>4330937
You are a monster. A selfish, wretched creature.

Enjoy your material delights though.

>>4331083
Did you guys ever do circle jerks, watch each other while jerking off, play soggy biscuit, have a bukkake, cum in the same bottle until it is full, see who can shoot the furthest or the most volume, cum at the same time and see if you can have a mid-air collision of your loads, jerk off on each other's dicks simultaneously, see who can cum first or anything like that?

>>4331089
No, but people didn't usually announce to everyone that they were and people that weren't didn't walk around asking anyone if they were.

>live in a 3 bedroom house with 2 other guys
>nobody is particular about anything
>we are all gone most of the day and have different schedules so usually only one of us is home at any given time
>try to have a day once a week or every other week where we just drink and shoot the shit
>nobody fucks with anyone else's food or anything else
>when someone cooks they usually leave a note telling the others to help themselves
The fuck is wrong with you people

>>4329475

Any room-mate situation I am in will be one where MY name is on the lease and no one else's is.

MY house. MY rules. You pay rent to live in a ROOM and use a BATHROOM. Not free access to the entire fucking house.

Nig more, nigger

>>4330718
>>4330723
>>4330735
>>4330937

Holy shit you sound like a fucking cunt. I hope someone caps this and shows him.

Fucking gold digging life ruining whores like you are the reason men mistreat women. It's because fucking absolute bitches like you ruin their lives with a smile for some fucking material possessions while fucking someone else behind their back.

Get fucked.

>>4331187

Probably a troll, but this.

Every time I read about a rape in the news, I think to myself, "good".

>>4329644

Eh I did it. We'd probably still live together if she didn't lose her job.

Then again, it's just common sense to avoid being around the same person/people for too long.We just understood when one of us were in a mood (More her than me) so we'd avoid each other till they got out of it and wanted to hang out.

>>4331193
>>4331187
Then you are just as bad as she is.
There's nothing worse than someone who justifies their own bad behavior by quoting someone else's.
When you see injustices and wrongs, whether perpetrated by a male or female, it should make you want to not only be a better human yourself, but work at putting those kinds of people and those sorts of acts in their place and/or outside of civilized society.
tl;dr don't use other people's failings as a human being to be a shit yourself.

>>4331209

Fuck that, an eye for an eye, and tooth for tooth.

>>4326565
Was the chicken edible?
Cornbread chicken.
My god it sounds so good anon.
I dance when I cook too. It's fun.

>Be me a long time ago, when cooking knowledge was zilch.
>Microwave leftover pizza
>Fuckton of it, "eh I can put it in there for a couple minutes"
>Take trash out since it's full
>Come back
>Microwave ejecting smoke from EVERY POSSIBLE OPENING, HISSING AND BAD NOISES VERY AUDIBLE AND BURNING SMELLS ARE PERMEATING THE AIR
>Roommate is sitting in his chair at his laptop calmly, I honestly think to this to day he was completely oblivious somehow

I'm not even blaming him for it, it was my dumb mistake but Jesus man if I'm about to burn down the fucking dorm you can touch my stuff.

>Live with three other roommates.
>One is a white girl who is generally clean, she slips sometimes but she usually cleans up after herself
>Other is a 21 year old who is a douche, always makes a fucking mess, eats our food.
>The last one is a guy who was in the Army so he is extremely clean and organized goes out alot and tends to keep to himself.
>Douchebag roommate always tells us not to use his dishes even though he dirties all our shit.
>Only dishes he owns are like two bowls and a handful of cups.
>The Army guy comes home one night and pours himself a cup of milk while I was in the kitchen.
>Douche comes in and sees him drinking out of what he thought was one of his cups.
>Flips out and starts cussing him out and he smacks the cup out of the dude's hand spilling milk all over the floor and the guy's clothes.
>Before I know it the Army guy throws him on the floor, puts the douche's face in the milk and starts telling him to fucking drink it since he spilled it.
>The douche is visibly scared when he tells him that if he ever acts out like that again he will fuck him up.
>Faggot starts cleaning up his shit after that and not being as douchey.

I can't wait for that fucking guy to move out, he is the only problem I have with living here.

>have a few chicken leg quarters I need to do something with
>make fried chicken to eat for lunch the next day
>roommate comes home, goes to kitchen looking for food
>my fried chicken sitting on counter cooling
>"hey yo, cool if I grab a piece of chicken?"
>"Uhh yeah I guess"
>grabs two legs
>notokay.jpg
>go to put it up later that night
>two thighs gone, two legs and thighs left
>go to pack lunch next morning
>all gone
>mfw

>>4331209

Excuse me when did I ever say I mistreat women because of cunts like her?

I didn't.

I said she's the reason why other men do it. Once they've been fucked over hard like she's going to do to the poor bastard she's with now.

>>4331261

>make chocolate cake
>put chocolate laxatives in it
>leave on counter
>give him permission to eat it when he asks
>laugh inside

>>4331248
What did Mr "Douche" honestly think was gonna happen after him slapping gi joes milk out of his hand lol

>>4324577
>continues to be the weak link in the chain that is our household
Fucking lost it. 10/10 Nice job. I'm going to steal this.

>>4325004
I chuckled

>>4331193
You're disgusting.

>>4331266
>getting trolled this hard

Stop it.

>live in UK university halls of residency.
>everyone has own room/bathroom, but we share kitchen/lounge.
>Two fridges, one for the 3 girls, one for the 3 guys.
>one of the guys is bulgarian.
>come back from lecture one day, and find our fridge literally half full with about 40 packs of fucking sliced leerdammer cheese.
>ask him why he bought so fucking much.
>He just says "it was on sale, and I like it".
>me and the other guys face when the bulgarian and his friends ate about 20lbs of sliced cheese in under 2 weeks.
He also refused to call the zimbabwean girl who lived on the floor below us anything but "the black panther".

>>4331038
dear god, why?

>>4331235
Oh, that reminds me of one!
>Suite dorms
>Girls suite across the hall
>Stupid blonde comes into my suite yelling about fire
>She put a cup of ramen in the microwave with no fucking water and the lid caught fire
>It's like 3-4 candles worth of flame, no big
>One of the guys that came to investigate runs to grab a fire extinguisher, I douse the flames with a wet paper towel before he does anything unnecessary
>The fire alarm goes off anyway because Styrofoam smokes like crazy
>Two buildings are evacuated
>The retard with the ramen is half bragging about starting the fire

She dropped out after one quarter though.

>>4331423
>He also refused to call the zimbabwean girl who lived on the floor below us anything but "the black panther"
I like this guy, but he and his friends must have destroyed one of those toilets.

>>4331423
>the black panther

I fucking lost it.

>>4330771
I didn't even by the time I left that party.