/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>4167268
I'd have sex with you, for starters.

>>4167270
Second this idea

Shouldn't /r9k/ be an archipelago of one person islands?

Fuck i should have been hanging out on /diy/ more

we are doomed, because apparently we just got teleported to /sci/, which is the worst place to be when you seek knowledge.

why do we have like, the smallest motherfucking island ever?

Why does it seem like /ck/ and /co/ are japan/china?

I start spending more time on /k/

Cook a raptor and dip it in a bowl of ketchup.

Start brewing beer in mass.

>>4167268
So /fit/ has come to the conclusion that we need you to make food for our gains, so we would be willing to ally with you and offer protection and resources but only if you provided us with glorious cooking and submitted to our natty leader Scooby.

The ultimate goal of course is to conquer /b/ and every other lesser island.

>>4167359
No we haven't. We decided we're claiming them as slaves. Don't speak for all of us.

>>4167359
This man is your new King.
Bow down.

>>4167364
What the fuck....you're not supposed to let them know that..............

>>4167268
>populated by the other people of the board you frequent most often
/vp/ is great and all but...

>>4167364
>implying you are strong enough to claim us as slaves
>implying /fit/ and /diy/ wouldn't be the joint leaders
>FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH
>NO HOMO

>>4167359
>>4167364
>>4167365
given that we're in a limited scenario, you all will be on reduced rations. There will be no bulking as that's enormous waste of food, there will be no extra food to support gains, you'll eat three times a day, 600 calories tops per meal and like it. Time to let those unnatural physiques melt away. Also, we have destroyed all the mirrors so you'll just have to accept that you're all gay and go to the /y/ island and come to terms with the truth of your existance.

>>4167364
>Implying you would know what to do with the large female population on /ck/

>>4167302
Shit, I browse that place the most
I'm doomed

>/x/ /jp/ /a/
i lold

>>4167382
*/w/

>>4167379

>large population of women
>population of large women

Kill myself.

I'm sure there a re boards that could handle raptors. /a/ isn't one of them.

>>4167389
It'd be pretty interesting to see /pol/ guys convincing the raptors that the fault of these floppy mammals invading their archipielago was mainly the jews

>>4167392

Raptors will just eat their eyes and they can blame it on the jews again

>>4167388
My obliqes

Acquire stone, wood, and make string. Create weapons, tools, shelter, and fire. Have others purify water/ fish/ forage. Eventually make beer, build a raft or some kind of boat for transport, get to /diy/ and see if we can barter for better tools and weapons since they've probably built forges by now. /k/ would also be a good ally to have with their innawoods/ hunting/ defense knowledge, and unlike /diy/ which can do everything we do and then some they probably can't make beer, so we trade beer for knowledge and training.

>>4167392
I wonder if places like /b/, /x/ and /a/ would end up having creepy tribal cults, human sacrifices and all

Fuck \r\ would be the most useless board ever.

> Requesting some food.... and guns..... and porn.
>Pleeeeeeaaase.

We're sandwiched between \cgl \jp and \a. Forget the beer, bros. Sake all the way. Then slowly watch the Lolis cannibalise each other like they usually do on \cgl.

>>4167268
eat sceak, cuz that guys a fucking faggot.
and then proceed to kill all the other tripfags.

>>4167381
You were doomed anyway, sperglord faggot

>>4167473
b-but i'm an average guy, and I'm trying to look for boards -life this- to become a better person...
you... you too?

>>4167461
Wasteful. Human meat is shit tier and the larger the group we have the less likely the raptors will pick you to eat over everyone else.

>>4167478
I've never been so disappointed in an anon before.

>>4167461
Not even cooking will remove the faggotry from the taste of his flesh.

>>4167480
vegan meat might be ok though.

>>4167478
god I'm so sick of the stuttering meme. It pisses me off more than any other meme

Wouldn't it be funny for the other boards to raid \s expecting to find hot women, only to see a bunch of guys fapping to raptor sex.

>>4167495
/cgl/ is the undisputedly female board. If we got raided it'd be to steal our food.

Well, there always seems to be some cross board traffic and lurkers that go between /k/ and /ck/. Same goes for /ck/ and /fit/, hence the unusual hate on carbs.

And we have at least 2 /ck/ regulars that go to /hm/.

So we have people who cook for a bunch of neck beards armed guns of various sorts, the gym bunnies and the homosex as people who we might ally ourselves with.

I do not see how this is bad.

i would go to /diy/ o /k/ if possible, or if i wanted slow painful death then maybe /b/

>>4167511
if we ally with /k/ they can bring us the raptor meat they kill and we can cook it and not worry about dulling out chefs knives on raptor hide.

>>4167511
/diy/ is our most valuable ally. They have experience with carpentry, building and using their own forges, making armor, making their own tools, growing plants, making beer, glassblowing, plumbing, electronics, innawoods, water purification, identifying plants, and more. And since most of our homebrewing and growing threads migrated there, a decent chunk of their population were from here to begin with.

>>4167521
/k/ basically said the same thing (someone posted the exact same thread).

They really do want /fit/ and /sp/ for the sporty types who won't die from running up a flight of stairs.

And we can cook. And we can peel potatoes.

And since /an/ is /k/s waifu...animal husbandry and basic farming, anyone?

>>/k/14325880

/k/ here

We already have a contingency plan for this scenario
We're gonna take /ck/, /sci/, /fit/, /diy/ and /an/
Then we go for /v/ for living space
Don't fuck it up

>>4167546
/n/ and/ or /o/ might be a valuable asset as well. They build us some kinds of transportation with help from /diy/ and /sci/.

>>4167546
Living space, sir? I think I have a recipe for that.

>>4167546
what do you need the jocks for? they can't take their roids or oatz with them, they'll be flabbier than /ck/ in a couple weeks

>>4167581
But they do exercise, and maybe some of them won't be a roidasaurs and actually kind cute too :3

>>4167581
Teach /fit/ to use weapons and our army expands. The rest of /fit/ can help with heavy lifting until we fell enough trees to use those.

>>4167591
Wait... all 4chan in a place with no rules an spare time due to no job/studying?
OH GOD ALL THE BUTTSEX
IT'LL HAUNT THE DREAMS OF ANGELS

>>4167581

were the only board that actually has a variety of people from different professions/backgrounds.

We have engineers, healthcare people and military fags as well.

You need our man power. We need you to cook our protein and maybe grow some oats.

>>4167610
>
were the only board that actually has a variety of people from different professions/backgrounds.

no

>>4167610
So, everyone in /b/ is 13 years old, /v/ from videogaming industry and /x/ do shitty docummentaries?
The fuck?

>>4167610
/an/ probably is a better place to ask for animal husbandry in terms of keeping human sized carnivorous dinosaurs as a food and raw material (dino-skin belt, anyone?)

/ck/ can probably find a way to make raptors taste good and we'll try and make sure everyone gets fed.

I wonder how many of us co/ck/ups here know foraging or at least basic agriculture...

>>4167635
Hm, you're right, as soon as we found a nest and didn't use it for omelettes, we could BREED raptors
Now how awesome is that?

>>4167623

Yep.

Any thread about a particular subject/profession/background will have relevant information there.

Only thing /fit/ doesn't know much about is cooking. It's either grill the chicken or drink some whey.

>>4167645
It might be best to breed wolves for hunting companions instead of raptors seeing as wolf breeding is easy mode.

>>4167662
You're right but what's the fun of a hard reset scenario without a little experimentation?
Better breeding them soon and see if it works than having them extinct

>>4167667
Or..we observe what the raptors are hunting when they're not running down some fat /b/astard or a /v/irgin and we go for that instead.
Probably much easier to domesticate a smaller more docile or at least easily manageable animal (like some sort of small rodent like mammal) and work our way up domesticating what we can and making sure to stay as far away from those that will not and cannot be tamed.

>>4167678
>cannot be tamed
Men have domesticated from rabbits to elephants
What makes you think raptors are not an option?

>>4167691
Who cares if they're an option? Wolves will be safer, quicker, and more practical.

>>4167691
Most of the animals we've tamed our herbivores and/or smaller than us. Those larger than us we've tamed are herbivores, therefore do not think of us as food. The omni/carnivores that we have tamed probably think of us as "things that can eat me but have not"

And those that can be tamed (from dogs to captive raised octopi) are relatively intelligent.

We for one, do not know how smart raptors are, so they might just classify other beings as "edible" and "inedible" Granted, they have been known as pack hunters and therefore must not be that dumb.

It'll probably take a lucky /sci/ breakthrough in hatching and raising a clutch of raptor eggs or long term observation + human/raptor interaction to have anything close to domestication.

Also...we are island nations, why are we not looking up seafood recipes?

/ck/ is in a unique position, where all our strongest potential allies are near them.

First the coo/ck/s would have to band together as one force, exile the vegans, srirachafags, and people who don't know how to cook ramen. Then we get in touch with /k/, so that we can secure both our forces. We will form a pact with them and their inna woodsmen, along with security detail, so that our islands will be safe from the tyranny of our local neighbors such as /co/ and /soc/.

With our survivalist force of /k/ and /ck/, we would then send an expeditionary force to /diy/ and offer an alliance. With their practical knowledge and retention of modern life technology, we can start to rebuild and strengthen.

With our survivalist and technologically improving force achieved, we will get the smart motherfuckers at /sci/ to join as well. In an exchange for their brilliance, we will protect and offer the creature comforts of our alliance as long as they join.

The next phase of operation will be that of diplomacy. We can host national games with /sp/, derive entertainment from /co/ and /tg/ (while also picking up the lost /k/ommandos from /tg/), and let /k/'s waifu on board in exchange for protecting their pets and using their domesticated farm animals.

>>4167718
At this point, we will need more labor for /ck/s gardening and cooking, /k/s survivalist hunting and scavenging, /an/s farm work, and /diy/s construction and resource gathering. We will form a crack team outfitted by /sci/ to sneak over to /fit/ and enslave their /fit/izens in a gentleman's slavery, where the good ones can earn citizenship, but until then are kept on a tight leash.

As a special aside, for the good of everyone in our chain of islands, we will have to send a large force over to /pol/ for exterminatus. None shall escape, and they shall tremble in fear and be summarily executed to prevent their cancer from infecting any other island.

With our mighty empire thriving, our main purpose would be repelling invaders, and letting /b/ and /v/ kill themselves and everyone around them in a destructive force of retardation never seen before, while /r9k/ and /a/ hide in their makeshift basement caves and starve to death when their ramen and pocky run out.

And that is how the /ck/-/k/-/diy/-/sci/ alliance shall rule the Isles of 4chan.

>>4167716
I recall an experiment done in the Soviet Union regarding tamed animals. They took a big number of wild foxes -at least I think they were foxes-, kept them in cages and put a gloved hand in the cages to give them food.
They bred separately those who bit the glove and those who didn't, and in 3 generations or so the resultant foxes were practicallt able for pets

/k/ here. /ck/ you're obviously a boon for any alliance, as are we, and our geographical placement makes for an ideal federation with other competent boards. If you guys can survive for a few months, we'll come and pick you up and we can finish our island hopping campaign into /co/ and start our new civilization. Sound good?

>>4167725
Well, since we've been magically transported to god knows where with no modern technology, I'm thinking it's best to plan everything with the perspective that nothing will go in our favor.

I would personally love to have a juvenile raptor called Lassie I can play fetch with but I would have second thoughts if it grew up and decided to bite my head off because nobody's realized it gets aggressive and territorial with it's "egg clutch mates" or to challenge its elders as for alpha status of the pack.

Where was I? Oh yes, also...if current reptiles are anything to go by, they seem to not be very domesticated than observed and fed while they do their own thing even when kept as pets.

>mfw I get reduced to omega status by my own raptor

Once we get the useful boards combined into one nation we should send out scouting parties to other boards. Anyone who's still alive by then obviously knows their shit and should be invited to live among us since they won't be dead weight.

>>4167733
Of course, a /k/ommando already suggested a plan here, >>4167546.

>>4167749
noice. polite sage.

>>4167725

silver fox experiment

>>4167724
I'm glad /d/ isn't a target of your conquest.

>>4167761
Whoops, seems like I got my statistics fucked up
Anyway thank you, it was nice refreshing the data

>>4167784
Would the sexual boards become pleasure vacation sites after war and housing were settled?

>>4167784
>go to /d/
>entire population attacks you with a dragon dildo

>>4167798
Ceremonial, wooden, spintered and gigantic dragon dildos.
And no, they won't HIT you with them

>>4167806
No guro on /d/.

>>4167796
I think that the tourism would flourish on those islands.

>>4167268

We make ropes and pull all the islands together, like in the IOC commercial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ1IFrYA4Oo

Alternatively, pic related.

>>4167814
If I knew some of my island buddies were into killing for pleasure, I don't know...
I might want to make a Broken Glass Night thingy before they started to get weird

>>4167814
I don't know about anymore, but a lot of /d/ used to frequent Gurochan.

>>4167819
look at how big one grid is...

>>4167822
Do it, you have /k/s support..or you guys can just apply to immigrate to /k/ et al's alliance.

Pretty sure not wanting to be killing, dismembered for pleasure is a good reason to leave your fellow /d/eviants.

>>4167841
he just wants to build a bridge to /hm/

Everyone always underestimates /tg/ or forgets them entirely. strange.

>>4167859
...

>>4167880
/k/ remembers you lot.

raptors like birds, right? cause that's what the word raptor means.

>>4167880
What's special about them?
Genuine curiosity, neven been there

>>4167892
beneath the surface crust of edition wars and the like you will have a hard time finding a more diverse group of professionals and amateurs, survivalists and reinactors, information-absorbers and general tinkers.

There is no island I would rather be on and already have Board-Chan planned out along with the archiving of knowledge.