/ck/ - Food & Cooking

This is a work of fiction, but it's still funny.

can'ttellifsrs/10

Stop being a little bitch. People can eat their food however the fuck they want. Deal with it faggot.

>>4099064

uhh, 100% your fault. go apologize.

Global rule #2

Good for her for disallowing you to affect how she perceives her tastes, as bad as her tastes may be. Shame on you for enforcing your tastes on others in an arrogant and unpleasant mannaer, as much as I may agree with what your tastes are.
Your reaction was juvenile and uncalled for. I certainly do hope this is a troll post or, if it's not, that you apologise to your family for such an unseemly outburst/overreaction and for ruining what could otherwise have been a lovely familyday.

>>4099070
Can we just go ahead and /thread?

This is troll bait. A very good one.

We just had a "how to troll /ck/" thread on the front page.

>>4099073

in what parallel universe do teenagers cook french omelettes for the whole family?

>>4099101
Omelettes are pretty basic fare, one of the first things I learned to make.

>>4099101

In my family being able to cook basic food is a normal thing, we learn things like that when we have enough dexterity to tie our shoelaces.

Are you still wearing velcro sneakers at the age of 25?

>>4099114
>implying velcro isn't superior

Shoelaces are bullshit. I can tie them, but why should anyone have to learn to do that when a superior method of shoe tightening exists!?

cool hissy fit blog op

what's wrong with ketchup on french omelettes?
They bring the taste out.

>>4099159
Fucking stop

Calm your tits you whiny little faggot, your omelet was crap to begin with and no amount of sperging will change that. The ketchup was an improvement.

Holy shit, OP, grow the fuck up. Nice job ruining Christmas for your family, you fucking child.

>>4099064
I am with you OP
Can we see your boobs now?

>>4099064
OP is a faggot.
You ask me why?
>Has presents.
>Flips out because of food.
I don't have any presents, and I'm still happy that I have Christmas. Fucking idiot.

>>4099214
Some people really are just that ungrateful.

>>4099214
Would you be more accepting of OP if she provided chrismas tits?

>>4099220
Depends. I don't want mantits. And no banana tits.

>>4099064
>crying
underage b&

>>4099275
banana tits are best tits.
what is wrong with you?
do you even play smerf ski jumper?

>>4099312
Just did. It sux even more then banan tits.

OP is hilariously fag.

>I cried when someone put ketchup on my eggs and wouldn't let people enjoy christmas

Nice move OP, nice move.

>french omelette's on christmas

Nigga do you even fancy?

Have you raped her?

>>4099685
>french omelette's

Nigga, do you even grammar?

>>4099064
>trolling on Christmas

It's sadder than your fictional story.

>>4099069
>People can eat their food however the fuck they want.
No. Fuck you. If you want adult food, you at least try food before you shovel retard shit like velveeta and ketchup on it. In fact, if you come to my house and ask for ketchup or velveeta, I'm giving you a jar of baby food and eating whatever I made by myself.

I don't expect your palate to be god tier, but if I'm cooking for you I expect you to both eat and act like an adult. That means eating more than chicken nuggets and french fries with ketchup, and giving a given food you have not had before a chance unmolested.

>>4099764
If you seriously want people to act like adults, maybe you should act like an adult as well. Stop being a whiny bitch.

>>4099764
You want people to "act like an adult" while you pout like a fucking child.

I don't give a rat's ass how anyone eats their food. Why would I?

>>4099064

Baby makes an omelette, gets upset when people eat it how they want. It's not like an omelette is hard to make?

>>4099064

So your sister made you look bad.

You really should watch more Heston Blumenthal instead of Ramsay. Observe carefully how he doesn't decapitate his patrons.

just make some food they cant ruin! i tried a gordon ramsey recipe out a few weeks earlyer. toasted croisants with some smoked salmon toped off with a good scrabled egg (and i mean good if you cant make one go fucking die). if they try ruining that with ketchup jokes on them! they wont even like it themselves!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

moot should've banned this guy instead of the one who wanted to make roast for his family.

>>4099784
>observe carefully how he doesn't decapitate his patrons

He does give them food poisoning though.

Rick Stein is where it's at. Observe carefully how he creates simple dishes that would appeal to anyone and rely on excellent produce and good cooking rather than showmanship, shock value and over-the-top masturbatory experiments.

>>4099798
got to say i agree with that. wtf is wrong with asking for some tips on /ck/ JUSTICE!

>>4099798
Fucking winterfags everywhere.

>>4099064
At least you mom didn't cook the beef welli medium well and fuck up all the pastry and burn the bottom of the sweet potato because she never turned them and didn't ask for any of your help because your sister who never cooks and doesn't work or want to work in the food service industry was in the kitchen being of obviously no help at all since everything still got fucking over cooked and the only thing she really did was the gravy which was unsalted.
Btws /ck/ it all still tasted good

I also bring back presents from some of the other boards:

>>>/p/1817810
>>>/y/1994357

great wishes,

>>>/tg/22223016
>>>/co/44347396
>>>/a/77078386
>>>/tv/28364943
>>>/k/13901398
>>>/int/7425450
>>>/jp/10262986
>>>/lit/3280867
>>>/mu/31441949

and many thanks.

>>>/mu/31441949
>>>/toy/3255578
>>>/sp/29737333
>>>/x/11674702
>>>/g/30145949
>>>/fit/16594576
>>>/sci/5384738
>>>/o/7305766
>>>/v/168473113
>>>/r9k/4962146
>>>/diy/360051

I also didn't forget /n/, who, I'm sure, also won't forget us.

>>4099064

> 1st world problems.

Your Affluence disgusts me.

8/10 Made me post

>>4099798
>>4099806
Oh that reminds me. Hold on.

Today man dad, he's such an asshole he used vinegar in the hollandaise instead of lemon. I ate just one bite and dumped everyone's plate in the garbage and made it again with lemon.

>>4099830
Yeah, because people can't complain about something if they aren't starving.

>durrrr

>>4099895
A person could complain about the million dollars given to them that the bills were wrinkled. It makes them a pathetic douchebag. It's all about justification. If your complaint is unwarranted then go fuck your childish self.

>>4099064
Stop using the word 'literally'. It's not necessary. If you were to juxtapose against 'figuratively', you'd be correct, but you're dumb.
Also, sent to your room? Kid's aren't allowed on 4chan. You will be banned.

omelette
>work of art
assuming troll but haha faggot

>>4099970
>implying I didn't come home from university

>>4100251
>has never eaten a French omelette

Fuck off faggots, I thought you would at least understand a little bit.

>>4099064
grow up fagget

mom!!!

>>4100588

>implying a rolled omelette is anything above and beyond a folded omelette.

>>4099772
>>4099769
Basically what this guy said,
As someone whos food for christmas went of wonderfully with some drawbacks during the preperation, I can say that youre acting like a little bitch, unless you where literally out of eggs you should have just made another one and asked her if she wanted cheese on it, then made something you'd feel comfortable putting on it.

>>4099123
being able to tie a simple bow naught is useful for more things than just shoes, and honestly you wont get a very good job if you walk in wearing shoes that are obviously for kids.

You need to chill out bro, I know it's painful, but what's more important than tasting the omelette is everybody having a good time. The only justifiable reason to want your sister to try it as you prepared it was so she could enjoy it the most. If the only reason to care is her enjoyment, why initiate a state of affairs that is more miserable for everyone? Why not just let her eat?

Long story short: The only reason to care is that you care about your sister's well-being, so it doesn't make any sense to shit on her when the only reason to be concerned in the first place was that you wanted her to enjoy the meal. She might not have enjoyed it perfectly, but better enjoyed than not.

>>4101563
>bow naught
>naught

It's "knot."

This is why i dont cook for children and retards

I know I be postin in a troll thread but I just want to say I hate when people ask for salt, pepper, hot sauce or some other sauce before they even taste what I cook. Seriously, just cause your version of that dish is shit doesn't mean mine is.

I also have an issue with people who literally drink soy sauce along with their sushi or add so much wasabi that they can't even taste any of the other ingredients.

>>4102219
It's pretty obvious that OP is both.

Great job ruining Christmas for your family by being a little bitch, OP.

OP here... people need to chill the FUCK out.

Sure I ranted but I said as much in my post. It was a bad moment and I cooled off, got a new iPad, iPhone, and xbox kinect, and made awesome leftover turkey and leek pot pie this morning for the family.

My sister asked if she could put ketchup on it this time and we lol'd and I said no and she didn't. Dumb cunt learned her lesson hehe

>>4102802

You sure are young. (and perchance a bit spoiled? hm?)

>>4102802
You're that asshole relative that your family eventually just stops inviting to any of the holiday parties.

>>4102861
this
>>4102802
seriously kid? Seriously? Spoiled bitch

>>4102802
nigga be trollin

>>4102862
>>4102837
poorfags detected

what did you get for Christmas, an orange and a notepad from a car dealership?

What a total faggot...

One of my friends Tom is a very very good chef, he still likes Ketchup on lots of things, I figure he is just a bit autistic or something, he never says to anyone else "have ketchup on your fucking meal" he just puts it on his own and what he makes for everyone is always really good....whats the big deal?? He could ejaculate on it first for all I care, its not me eating it is it? let folk eat how they want, hate snobs...

>>4099064
What an absolute tosser you are. Grow up.

Who referees the way people can eat their food? It's their fucking food.

>>4102891
>what did you get for Christmas, an orange and a notepad from a car dealership?

>all these serious responses

I thought better of you /ck/. I said to myself, "They can't possibly be so easily trolled. Look at you know, all sorts of mad over a false story someone made up because they didn't have anything else to do on Christmas.

funny troll is funny

Good on you, OP. You're sister is fucking retarted, ruining a good meal that you poured your heart into. Ketchup is only for fries, hot dogs or steak.

>>4099101
In my family, me and my sister were required to cook at least one entire meal for the family, each, once a week, starting when we were 13-14.

Omelets are also incredibly easy to make.

Made medium-rare filet mignons with bordelaise sauce, assorted roast vegetables and poached pears in spiced red wine syrup this christmas.
Noticed grandma dipping her (medium-done, by request) steak in her syrup. Meanwhile, dad was gobbling up his leftover syrup and GF overcame her fear of calories to eat a spoonfull of bordelaise.
Not a single fuck was given that day. Actually, them enjoying my cooking in their own way was a huge compliment to me.

>>4102802
>Dumb cunt learned her lesson hehe
>hehe

I hope your sister kills you in your sleep.

With ketchup.

Sage only because this faggot OP is probably trolling.

Op is pretty funny good job ruining everyone else's holiday

>>4103913
lol this

>>4099064
your sister is a cunt and you are a whiny faggot. man I would hate to be your dad