/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Tits or GTF.......eh, nevermind. I'd google and do a little research if I were you, 4chan isn't the best place to get advice on things that are potentially fatal. Even if this is a helpful board.

You absolute, obese monster.

Where did you find that growing? Under one of the moist rolls of stomach fat, where wild fawns roam and sunlight scarcely penetrates?

Hint: Mushrooms should never be left to be sitting in the fridge. I would not personally eat them anymore. Slimy means they have gone bad.

Well, first of all, usually all mushrooms should be boiled thoroughly before even starting to cook anything with them. Well, technically not all but most. You should realise that mushrooms take in all the pollution and crap, so it is a wise safety measure even when the mushroom is edible just like that. Then again, if one has a favourite spot and all the, he can prolly estimate the quality and such without even tasting. I myself like to always be sure.

Previously from that you, you of course take your mushroom knife and you mushroom brush and remove the dirt and bad bits. Then, the actual cooking bit, mushrooms stay good for about 1 to 3 days after picking in a refrigerator. The taste reduces, though. Mushrooms should be always prepared as fresh as possible. I personally usually season and dry some species and cook some right away. There's nothing like fresh mushroom salad.

Advice, don't post your pic on 4chan.
Please.
Pretty please.

Also, if you don't know how to mushroom why you get wild mushrooms?

This bitch has done some naughty shit with the stem of that mushroom.

>>3988424
>I'll post more pictures if asked.

ahhhh..naw..no not really...thanks though.

also, you shouldn't really eat it, not because it might kill you but more so because you should really cut back on the calories.

>>3988444
She should cut back on the ugly too.

>>3988438

>>3988424
Stick it in your vag, post pics and make /ck/ history. Nothing cool ever happens here.

Yikes, friends. For a board about food you seem a little pissed off about me eating.
But yeah, I'll probably toss it. I've been on three different websites, and i'm not convinced I won't die of poisoning so I'm okay letting him go.

>>3988424
Why the fuck are you making that face? Why do we need to see your face in the first place, if it's the mushroom you're asking about? Fuck.

>>3988463
Yeah - toss the stalk, wash it, dry it, cook it (cook, not get warm) then eat it. You look fine. Just eat the damn mushroom, don't waste food.

>>3988463
Ehh.. you probly wouldn't die, just get very sick. I say try it. Cut into pieces and dip into ranch dressing.

mushrooms that big are never fatal.Google your own mushroom sites, you lazy hambeast.

Just to be safe you should put a condom on it before you put it in your vag and take pics. I'm not sure if poisons can be absorbed vaginally but its best not to gamble with it. Use protection.

>>3988459
This is kind of true. It's a worksafe board and most of us actually do work, so it's not like /v/ for example. Either the moderator is quite good here or we just don't need one because I've not seen anyhing raunchy posted in about six months.

Post mushroom in vag. Or at least tits

Oh man. I forgot how 4chan was. Oh lawd.

Any other pics OP? Where did you find it?


http://www.rogersmushrooms.com/
http://www.mushroomexpert.com/

>>3988510
We actually feel awkward and weird about requests though. Especially given that you're the first person I've seen post their photo on here in fuck knows how long. It just that, you know, we are obligated.

Go on. Just a nipple.

http://www.mycokey.org/result.shtml?genSpec=Species&ID=17&showList=Result&random=8732

I'm pretty sure its this

>>3988520
It looks like an Agaricus, but impossible to tell by your picture.

Did you find it on a lawn? Around here A. arvensis and A. bisporus grow on lawns.

I found it in a nearby garden on some mulch. I'm convinced its edible at this point.

Hi OP, sorry about all these lame fucks. What you need to do to test if the mushroom is poisonous is first of all remove the stem and place it to one side. Find some rubber or surgical gloves, anything waterproof will suffice, and cut the cap cleanly across the middle with a sharp kitchen knife and check that it's not got black or blue specs in the flesh. Quickly take off all your clothes, shove the mushroom stalk up your cunt use the halved head to make a little mushroom bikini.

>>3988538
Oh and err, post pics. We never remember that part here.

Pic of mushroom deepthroat. Or mushroom tit-fucking. I just want something to happen here for once. I love you /ck/'s, you are a helpful bunch but also a dull bunch.

>>3988536
>I found it in a nearby garden on some mulch.

Fuck. That. Please do not eat I retract >>3988473.

>inb4 OP eats it, pretends she's worried she's going to die, we all fall for it then someone works out that she was trolling us all along and she knows the mushroom is edible

>>3988424
couldn't u just post a picture of the mushroom? did u have to put yourself in the picture? you're lucky I love fat chicks 'cause this rant could have been a lot longer..

>>3988555
Nice way to kill the thread dipshit. Nothing ever happens here and the day /b/ came to troll us you fucked it up. NICE FUCKING GOING CUNT!

This is taking too long and I don't even like you.

Fuck all these guys, just throw out the mushroom. what you SHOULD do is add jonah.wilders on skype. Kind a like your style :)

I wouldn't risk it.

>>3988574
She's gone. Or probably he in retrospect, nobody even bothered for timestamps. I guess waiting two minutes for a response feels like a long time with this generation, in my day we had to walk to the post box and put a physical letter through it. Or send a fax or make a phone call. Or page.

>>3988574
just paint her all purple and replace the shroom with mcdolans- she looks enough like grimace already.

>>3988594
u on tha lean?
you know tha it is a opiat that codeine
same class of drug liek heroine and morphine!

dont do lean if you have ot do something do some weed and have a glass of wine
dont be a junkie bro

You are all huge butts. I'm going to cook this with onion, and butter.

>>3988609
Okay, it's time for >>>/b/ed now kid.

>>3988614
haha I like OP, she grinds everyones gears

>>3988614
Or, you know, olive oil would be fine. Unless you drained all those bottles and filled them with butter.

>>3988614
Well, no, not really. We knew it was coming and we in played along with you. In fact it was called about fifteen minutes ago which is why you stopped talking.

Just post tits or fuck off.

>>3988614
Those pieces don't appear to be evenly cut. Don't burn your butter, but I know you will because you are a woman and it's 2012.

>>3988627
>dat butthurt

>>3988614
Awesome. Are you going to use it as an ingredient or just eat the mushroom and onion as is? I'd make a nice pasta or pizza with a mushroom like that. Also if you get bored while its cooking you could always show us your tits or something. I mean, if you get bored.

I want the horrible life stories of everyone in this thread who actually wants to see this monster in any state of undress. Let's start with how your parents abused you.

The little ring around the stem is worrying.
I don't know exactly what that is since I mostly know European mushrooms, but I wouldn't eat this.

>>3988641
>The little ring around the stem is worrying.
Nah. It obviously isn't an Amanita.

so did she die?

>>3988651
Oh look, an ignorant person.

>>3988646
I doesn't have to be an amanita, other ringed fucks can be dangerous as well and they're hard to tell apart.
Non experts shouldn't eat anything with a ring around the stem, if it's not a really obvious Parasol.

>>3988659
>other ringed fucks can be dangerous as well and they're hard to tell apart.
Like what? Quit speaking out of your ass.

Name a poisonous mushroom that has an annulus and looks like the one in OP's.

I'm going to eat it! I'm going to!
(It smells really yummy!)

>>3988669
Show us some tit before you die!

>>3988669

WAIT...NO, OP...I've got some tube steak you need to try before you kill yourself, I'll be real quick...srs'ly.

>>3988669
You look like a guinea pig.

>>3988672
Kill yourself, you lifelong virgin.

I ATE ALL OF IT. HOW DO YOU FUCKING FEEL? DO YOU FEEL BAD? DO YA FEEL BAD?

This chick looks like Andrew WK if he partied lard.

>>3988691
That was fast.

>>3988691

why the hell was it in a coffee mug...I kinda figured you for a salad bowl eater?

>>3988640
I really like the thought of a nice girl exposing herself to us on /ck/. It's just something that's not done in here, even webcam photos are frowned upon here, and her silly thread is not approaching histrionics at all, it's been quite a laugh. I don't think she will, but if she does I will have fap.

Come to think of it, I have never, ever had cause to fap on /ck/.

>>3988697
I kinda figured her for a trough eater.

Just kidding OP, you're alright.

Alright /ck/ I'm out. Goodbye!

>>3988700
One time I made a Nigella fap thread with some nice looking shoops in it. 7 day ban. But yes, I would also have a quick fap if this girl exposes herself on /ck/. It isn't that I find her attractive, rather the fap would be mostly out of respect of someone actually exposing themselves on /ck/. The least I could do is have a short fap to celebrate the historic occasion.

>>3988705
Fuck you!

>>3988705

NO...I want to see you try to post when you go into convulsions

>>3988711
There's no appeal in asking on /soc/ or /b/ etc. because if they're real they will show their tits. It's the uncertainty here that's kinda hot.

Or in this case, not uncertainty, it's just not happening and she's gone and I'm too butthurt to say bye.

>>3988719
I think I know your feel. Most girls on /b/ and /soc/ will make a thread fully intending to show their tits before its over, no big shocks or surprises. But there is something strangely arousing about coaxing an anon who randomly showed up on /ck/ of all boards with a self shot and a question.

>>3988730
You do know my feel bro. She came her with no intention of showing her tits, and unsurprisingly she didn't. But if she had it would actually feel like it was aimed at us, and I feel part of /ck/. Even if I regularly posted in /soc/ or /b/ I wouldn't feel a part of them because they're just too damn big.

>>3988691
that was a death cap. enjoy your painful death, beginning in 12 hours...

>>3988734
Anyway, I'm tired and talking garbage. Off to /s/.

If someone does ever post tits on /ck/ in these circumstnaces though it will be a screenshot to keep.

>>3988734
Exactly. We are feeling the same feel and what a feel it is.

>>3988741
>that feel when the girls of /s/ just aren't cutting it after my topless /ck/ dream

Well I received your permission to feel and I feel it. I actually have no feels in my reaction folder right now.

>>3988734
>>3988730
>>3988700
Inb4, well you know.
Years ago I cajoled into snapping a pic of my blobs for /ck/. It was weird. It was bra on, though, a red lacy number I had, and (in regards to the reponses), it was....odd feeling. IDK, I don't understand camwhores, I guess I don't have low enough self esteem. At any rate, never done it again.

>>3988755
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
FUCKING AUTO CORRECT.
>*boobs*
Not blobs. Oh god, that's funny.

>>3988759
Well, at least 'blobs' has stopped us actually wanting to see them.

Are they blobs?

>>3988763
Lol, no, they are not.

>>3988763
By my reckoning, blobs are what rest quite comfortably on the thighs of a formerly buxom 90 year old.

Do not want.

>>3988755
Well at least you pulled through and showed em and for that you are cool. Honestly I don't actually find this girl attractive, its just the principle of whats happening. If I wanted to seen some awesome tits I'd just look at porn. Nah, I really just really want somebody to show their tits to /ck/. I think its because this board is so slow, tame and relatively mild mannered. I've only seen porn here a handful of times and have never seen some personal timestamped tits.

>>3988755
haha I thought you meant to say blobs. I thought you were implying you are a blobby slob.

>>3988777
Lol, no just auto correct error. Maybe in another 30 or 40 years they'll be blobs, but everything is still right and tight so far. (Fingers crossed)

>>3988790
Well maybe if you aren't too busy would you be able to share with us ples? It would at least sort of make up for the disappointment that is this thread. And you can even wear a bra if you're worried about the bane.

Show /ck/ the blobbies!!!

>>3988790
Well, you said you don't see the appeal, but fuck it, I'll ask because as with 8773 I'm absolutely desperate to see some on /ck/ and I think we've made each other worse. Would you consider making a couple of co/ck/s happy tonight with your timestamped boobs? You have my promise that I will not be vulgar or insulting and I wouldn't redistribute it at your as I rarely post images. But you and I both know that means jack shit on 4chan.

chances are, it will make you double in size, which would only make you even less appealing.

Naw, dude, I'm just not into that. But, tell you what, I think I still have the original pic I posted before, so if I can find it, I will post it. Since its already been out there before, I don't feel too weird about it. If I remember correctly, it has a timestamp as well. So, its a /ck/ time capsule, lol.

>>3988821
Hehe, fair deal, it was a long shot. Thanks anyway.

>>3988821
That would make me happy but it would be a bittersweet kind of feel. Its like seeing a pic of this awesome thing that happened when you weren't there. Glad to be able to see the awesomeness but sad that you weren't there when it happened. Does that make sense in any way?

Aw, /ck/ you're so sad. I'm not blobs girl but if I wasn't at work I'd post something for you. Keep the thread alive and maybe I'll remember later.

OP died right?

>>3988826
>>3988839
I'll go see if I can dig it up. I think I buried it in a random folder out of shame, but I know its there.
And, yeah, I know the feel of missing out on things here, /ck/ is like my second home and there's been some epic things I've missed for various reasons and it sucks.

>>3988850
Either dead or tripping balls. I bet her blobs weren't very nice to look at anyway. But please do feel welcome to come back after work and cheer us up. All these exciting and then disappointed feels have left me feeling mopey. Moping around is no way to spend a friday.

>>3988857
insecure ck women would post pics in this girls thread
lul at butterfly effect.

>>3988878
Shut the fuck up, ass-licker.

Alright about to walk to the grocery store, will be checking back in later for the blobbies and treats.

Have a good evening /ck/!

>>3988878
Troll softer pal. /ck/ girls aren't at all insecure which is why boobs are never posted. Tonight is an exception and I still doubt anything will be flashed at all.

I will miss any boob action if it honestly does happen unfortunately, has been a very long week at work and it's just past midnight in Scotland, but best of luck to you and thanks for at least discussing my, let's face it, rather creepy and pathetic but fucking overwhelming desire to see /ck/ boobs. Enjoyed the feels 8773.

>>3988902
Me being one who is, renders your abolsute null.
Nice try though, buddy.

Anyone remember that one girl who delivered? All I remember were they were badly dome webcam shots with a yellow tint.

>>3988932
Except you're not, you're clearly an aspie /lit/ user equally desperate to see boobs. If you are an "insecure girl", post them. I'm not exactly bracing myself for it. Back to lurking/eventually sleeping.

Wow, that's not nearly as salacious as I remember, and its much more dated than I remember. Huh. Anyway, there it is. Now, when you look at the "blob", also realize that that is a real boob, and they're double d's. So, you're not looking at a teenagers boob, thats a lady boob. See? I'm not good at this, its all uncomfortable and shit.

>>3988980
Why the fuck did you do that?
You are no "lady."

>>3988981
Oh, I don't even remember, it was some stupid arguing and cajoling on /ck/. And, actually, I am a lady, I even teach professional etiquette classes occasionally, so get a good laugh out of that!

Why are you in focus and not the mushroom? whi could you not just have put the mushroom on the table and taken a picture? Or at least just took a picture of you're hand holding it?

You fucking attention whore

>>3988945
Yes, clearly im desperate for hot blob action, guy.
/lit/ I have never been too, maybe i'll check out.
Just kind of saddened a girl sniped how to mush rooms chicks thunder, by saying ermerggerd chest wieners i posted once - you know she's not going to delievar. So why did she even bother posting .-. ? I just find it odd you called them secure, when the common thought here is that women are not secure with themselves in this time, feel they would have self worth in the 50s, and have dreams of living in said time.

>>3988997
guess i was proven wrong
still would be nice to have a face of /ck/
i like how to mush rooms.

Tits or GTFO every time. Does this dumb woman think this is tumblr or something? I aint even mad, so scram, kid. Your cutesy little facial expressions are not meant for this part of the internet. Go do an AMA or something. This is /ck/.

>>3988997
>>3988997
Are you fucking drunk or something? How well are you paying attention?
Can you just not into posting rite now?

>>3988980
Those look wonderful. The pic is less racy than I expected but the quality of the blobs make up for it. And that pic is pretty damn old. Whats your age /ck/anon? I get the vibe that /ck/ is frequented by an older crowd than most boards. 25 here.

Pic related, its my penis.

>>3989006
>>3989006
Haha I was just commending the age and maturity of /ck/, and then this motherfucker out of nowhere.

>>3989007
aaaahhh so red bra is mush rooms? sorry brahs

>>3988994
>implying that's not female nature
welp back to >>>/r9k/

>>3989012
Yep, I'm almost 6 years older than you. And, yeah, I've found that /ck/ definitely has more older people than most boards. But, IMO, that's a good thing as far as cooking goes. Experience is needed in the kitchen, for anyone, from a noob to a chef.

>>3988980
What the fuck? Camwhores, camwhores everywhere. Not even goddamn /ck/ isn't sacred anymore.

This is the food and cooking board, not the Boosting This Stupid Bitch's Self-Esteem board.

Please go die in a fire, lardass.

>>3989016
No, red bra is blobs.
Mushroom didn't deliver.

Today we learned that women aren't allowed to have self esteem.

Shouldn't be a surprise considering this is a friday night in the united states and all the lonely permavirgins of 4chan are at home being angry at women together.

>>3989028
You twat, do you even read posts, or do you just scroll through looking for stuff to fuel your loathing?

>>3988980
>thats a lady boob

>>3989014
No, I agree with his entire statement except for the Tits or GTFO bit, and only because I don't want to see them. This is not the place for attention grubbing and looking for excuses to post pictures of yourself to the internet. Go back to tumblr or do an AMA or whatever the fuck. Here, I'll even help you:

"Reddit, I've got this random mushroom I found in the woods that I'm about to eat. Ask me anything. To help you along, I'll even answer some right off the bat to save time: my bra size is DD; no, I do not have a boyfriend; yes, I am interested in guys."

There you go. Have gun. Go away.

>>3989029
ahh so her attention did get sniped! not sure why that guy did call me drunk, just thought it was weird random boobs appeared in how to mush rooms thread of glory.

>>3989040
No.

>>3989037
And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is what extreme butthurt looks like. I suppose you'd feel differently if it was a cock thread. ;)

>>3989014
>maturity
>4chan

>>3989040

All you guys have to do is say it, I'll post pics of me sticking my dick in a big bowl of mashed potatoes.

How to get attention on /ck/: post what you are eating daily for a bit. Use odd plating, mismatched foods, and put strange things in the background to garner extra interest. Do not post pics of yourself so everyone can have fun imagining what kind of weirdo you are irl.

>>3989042
Then why not STFU and let the thread die, OR talk about foraging wild mushrooms?
You are perpetuating the very thing you're bitching about.

>>3989036
yes.

>>3989040
If it were a cock thread, I'd ignore it and consider it widely irrelevant. It would die quickly and I could go on with my life, knowing that I won't see another like that for a long time.

Unfortunately, stupid bitches posting images of themselves in a completely off-topic fashion is a habit that if not nipped in the bud will come back like a drug resistant staph infection.

It's like they need the boost to the self esteem because they can't get it anywhere else.

>>3989048
gets it

>>3989055
r/thick is my recommendation for any dumb female who needs a boost of self-esteem. They will not find it here.

>>3989049
>let the thread die

lmao, on /ck/. Some ogre posts its pic and you think this thread will die anytime soon?

>>3988755
I'm just really perplexed at this use of inb4

>>3989055
You must be new here.
/ck/ is a completely different animal from other boards. Its actually mostly populated by women, and threads like this are extremely rare, for obvious reasons. Now, go find something else to rage about and let us go about our business. This thread will disappear soon enough.

That's it, /ck/. I'm leaving and taking my OC and well thought-out and legitimate food-related advice given with a professional background with me.

And it's a shame because I had some great pics of my special from work today.

>>3989060

'EY GHEEZAH. DEY MOIK A ROIT GEWD STEW.

>>3989068
eh it's probably italian anyways...
>meh.

>>3988980
Fat.

>>3989068
Then why don't you make your own thread and quit shitting up threads that you don't like. Nobody is making you read this and nobody is making you post here. Go, make a thread mongo.

>>3989076
>italian

In my top 3 favorites. Though I smirked at that anon's goodbye post and how they think someone cares

>>3989082
italian/greek are my tops that's why i don't want to see pics of some mediocre fried eggplant stack, with an unecessary swoosh, and placement on lack luster china. I highly doubt what that man had was hd photos of high unique culinary endeavors.

>>3988980
Hello! Bloke who very politely and cautiously attempted to get you to bare your boobs earlier. Glad to see you delivered what you were looking for, sadly not that revealing but you clearly have a wonderful pair of breasts tucked away there. I probably came across as far younger than I actually am (24) - the few comments I made about "blobs" were not serious. Some peoples expectations on what breasts are supposed to look like on this website are frankly hilarious.

>Landwhale sees thing.
>Hey /ck/ can I eat this thing?
>Fuck's sake.

>>3989096
tucked away with two lovely opaqued powerpoint object boxes.

>>3989103
eh i like op, prob went hiking to burn fats. Excited about healthy new diet so picked shroom, wants smaller portions so eats from cup, is happy about self so posted silly thread.

>>3989107
Red Blob reporting.
The boxes are there because my arm was stretched out to take the pic, and I have identifiable marks on my arm. I enjoy the anonymity of this site and wouldn't want to jeapordize that since I post frequently. There now, now I'll just fade back into the background again.

>>3989119
thisfuckingguyrighthere.jpg

>>3989107
Probably to not so discreetly hide her fat? Which I wish she didn't do, personally I favor chubby girls. As long as they aren't way obese I think a chubbyish girl looks healthy.

>>3989122
double d's, only posts in this girls thread -_-, i believe the word isnt identifiable its stretch. If on your arm why would it be running across the bottom too? trying to hide that armpit tit, thats whats up BUUUTTTTERRRFLLLLYYY EFFECT

>>3989131
I've no idea what you're on right now but you're extremely annoying and don't fit in here. Please go to 420chan.

>>3989137
I'm normally not so harsh, i just dont understand that use of inb4 and why she did not simply crop photo.

op you are hideous

>>3989131
>>3989137
I pray that people like this dipshit wouldn't fit in anywhere. I don't even think /b/ would tolerate this shit.

>>3989143
Good god, man, let it go. Didn't you see how old that pic is? Jesus, surely you have something better to post about. At least make it food related. Why not go dump on the people posting their dinner pics that look like dog excrement?

>>3989150
enjoy the attention whore, i'm out.

First thought, I was pretty offended at how unattractive OP is. But I think it takes some serious self esteem to post her pic on 4chan to be judged. Despite her weight/weird faces she makes, at least she's got some character? Even if it is trying hard to be quirky/cute. Ugh.

>>3989164
they aren't talking about OP they are talking about the other chick.

>>3989168
That's not true. We're equally offended by both.

>>3989150
I had a think and I reckon he'd blend in as a /soc/ avatarfag.

>>3989173
Gross, I still mean the first chick. Are you some weirdo who thinks "chubbies" are attractive? The second woman is probably not conventionally attractive as well, but props for owning a sexy garment, at least to make her feel sensual.


I googled for marshmallows in vagina and found nothing on google. Maybe one day on /ck/...

>>3989186
That post was directed at >>3989168

>>3989164
I think OP is kinda cool. If she was really hot then yea she'd be a dumb bitch for posting her mug on 4chan. But she isn't really attractive so I admire her ladyballs.