/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20295267
A plate full of figs and a huge mug of coffee. If they're going to kill me, they're cleaning up afterwards.

sichuan hot pot, oxycodone and vodka

1 immortality pill please

>>20295267
One more Irish Breakfast for the road

>>20295267
Why are they executing mee? I never did anything wrong, I'M INNOCENT !!!

something that makes me shit myself when I die as payback

>>20295267
A dinosaur egg omelet. Legally they have to give you what you want for your last meal, and I figure it would take a while to find one.

>>20295345
Wie ein hund.

>>20295277
They pretty much always have to do that anyway

>>20295438
>>20295362
>>20295277
They make you wear a diaper. Many people also don't eat the day before the execution since imminent death kills your appetite.

>>20295365
To be the obnoxious "acksully" guy, chickens and all other birds are a highly derived clade of therapod dinosaurs, so trivial to find. And the other obnoxious a acksully that needs to be tossed in is that death row inmates are usually restricted to dishes that the prison cafeteria has ingredients for; at most the warden might be willing to pick up some sort of normal restaurant or grocery store food.

I shall start with wine and beer, followed by cheeses, seeds and nuts, bread with soft butter and sesame seeds. Dates, melons, peaches, a bounty of fish from the sea. Then we will roast cattle and goats so that their smell may please Anu upon my arrival.

Grilled cheese off the radiator

>>20295365
They don't. Many states have done away with the "last meal" request entirely. Texas did away with it after one dude just flat out didn't eat any of an obnoxiously large meal.

Are you allowed to ask for illegal food?
Like fugu and such? Cuban cigars (legal in my cunt though)?
Or maybe death cap mushrooms?

>>20295641
Can you still request your type of execution?
I'd much prefer firing squad.

>>20295616
You compromised?

pussy

what's the secret food combo to poison yourself to death

your cock, gay boy

OP is the FAGGOT WHO FREEKILLS PEOPLE

>>20295712
I jacked off into a tissue beforehand

egg fried rice, beef stroganoff, mint choc chip ice cream, a bottle of j&b rare if this is truly fictional, 2 litres of tonic water and lemon if its realistic

>>20295267
A cup of cum from all the Anons who post in this thread.

>>20295365
They'd give you scrambled eggs and dino nuggets.

>>20295365
sounds like something an 8 y/o would say

>>20295365
How would you feel if you ate a dinosaur egg omelette for breakfast today?

>>20295281
this

>>20295694
I think Utah took that off the book decades ago and they were the last one.

>>20295365
Pretty sure if they can't give you what you want you just get the traditionally last meal

I'm going to grill and eat OP alive for making these stupid fucking threads over and over again. It'll be my last meal because I'm blowing my brains out afterwards.

>>20295267
I was born in bongland. It's shit now and everyone in their right mind wants to leave, but it's still my homeland. I know French food is objectively better - I don't care. I know Italian food is objectively healthier - I'm dying tomorrow so it doesn't matter. I know Japanese food is super sophisticated - I've got no one to impress in my death row cell.
Just fry me up. Fry every plant, animal and fungus. Mix every fungus with the stems, leaves and roots of every plant and the muscle, organs, fat, blood and marrow of every animal, then stuff it into the intestines and stomach of every animal and fry that in butter made from the milk of every animal.
Fry everything in the entire biosphere of life on Earth, feed it to me, then fry me. I was born British and I'll die British.

2 plates of Alfredo pasta.
2 medium bottles of Sprite with lemon added.
A jar of Jiffy peanut butter(creamy).
A plate of fried peas covered in soy sauce.

>>20296512
tikka masala is more british in 2024 than beans on toast.

>>20296526
kys

>>20296595
saar please do the needful one last time before the execution

If you were to request this >>20295365 and then this cunt was around >>20295449 then they'd probably execute him instead

>>20296067
If he's on death row odds are he does have some kind of learning disability

>>20295280
I was gonna post something mundane itt but come to think of it, I can’t see anything wrong with this post. Enlightening.

>>20295267
Chicken fried steak, mash potatoes and gravy, salted, peppered, and buttered string beans, and a piece of yellow chocolate cake for dessert, please :)

>>20295267
Probably a bud light and a granola bar, I'm currently counting my calories :)

>>20295267
5 cyanide capsules and a Coke zero.

>>20296764
Lol, hell I'd execute him regardless. I'd execute you too while I'm at it

>>20295267

>>20295267
A juicy steak, a fried chicken thigh with the bones in, a pizza slice just cheese, a pizza slice with pepperoni, barbecue pork ribs, a small order of cheesy fries, kreplach with creamy onion sauce, pilaf, a slice of cheesecake with cherries, a big cup of dark chocolate mousse, one large chewy chocolate chip cookie, a bottle of coke, a bottle of sprite, some grapefruit lemonade, a cup of spresso, a cup of Americano.
And the complete works of Christian Weston Chandler for me to enjoy during my meal

>>20295267
your mom.

>>20295267
Use the standard format/image so people can filter this shit.

>>20295267
>Puts my hands on the desk like gendo ikari
>Makes a smug smile
I'll try everything once

>>20295267
>chicken shawarma pita with spicy cucumber salad and hummus
>potato wedges and more hummus for dipping
>coffee chocolate chip ice cream
>mint limeade to drink (plus a few shots of rum if alcohol is allowed)

>>20295460
based

>whole rack of country style ribs
>plate of rice dressing
>pita bread and tzaziki
>lobster roll (long shot i know)
>burger king whopper
>chocolate covered almonds
>pineapple upside down cake (or carrot cake)
>2 2 liter bottles of soda. one strawberry fanta, one bang's root beer
>1 corona with lime in honor of my aunt
I'd eat it all too. I'm fat as shit.

>>20299515
this kid's got spunk

>>20299740
this is the first time ive actually felt like a poster on 4chan is black from text alone

prime rib full of fat, some crab meat, some rolls with sweet butter, and a large iced tea

prime grade beef porter house steak done to medium rare with a salad and a bottle of port charlotte single malt with a japanese hand blown whiskey glass and a bucket of ice

see you on the other side homie

>>20299762
fuck also almost forgot a nice Dominican cigar

>>20299762
>he puts ice in whisky

Four beef and bean burritos with a handful of fresh bird's eye chilis on the side
A big bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos with onion dip
Tamarind Jarritos to wash it down
If alcohol is allowed, four shots of Rumple Minze and three shots of chocolate Baileys

>>20299790
Fuck you gonna do about it, kill him?

>>20295641
Why let one guy ruin it instead of giving the food to guards or prisoners and imposing limits on the requests afterwards?

>>20299790
yeah just the way i like it bro i'm from australia so i prefer cold drinks because it gets fucking hot here also a couple of small cubes of ice opens the whiskey up a bit

>>20295460
Unfathomably based.
Why can't I get good stonefruit these days anyway? At least the dates are good.

>>20299824
Because fuck you, that's why. Pic related got drunk and impaled a 15 year old girl like she was the last scion of the Ottoman Mandate, not even the pope and Obama could get him a last meal. People on death row tend to do fucked up shit. They aren't all cool kids fighting the government.

>>20299928
That didn't really answer his question.

>>20299935
Because fuck you. That's pretty much the reason. Texas isn't a very kind place to fuckups. It's a stand-your-ground, castle doctrine state. The reasoning they gave was that it was a "superfluous and unnecessary expense" or something similar.

>>20295267
a glass of water

>>20299937
I'm all for execution but I still feel like a last meal is courteous. An act of humanity to contrast with the act of murder.
Cost obviously isn't the real issue, since it's a small price compared to the whole execution process.

>>20295267
Just one thing: a candy cane. I’ll fashion it into a makeshift shank, and stab the guards to death when they try to take me away. I’ll then sneak out of the prison and run away to a life of freedom.

>>20299614
This. Fuck I don't know why those FUCKING FAGGOTS can't stop themselves from making the same retarded joke everytime.

>>20300017
Won’t work. The moment you start sucking it your innate cocksucking reflexes will kick in and suck until there’s nothing left of your shank. It’s what wardens call the faggot paradox.

3 bottles of sauvignon blanc
2 dozen oysters with lemon juice
some fettuccine alfredo
a big bowl of cioppino and some crusty bread

>>20299614
I came into this thread just to find this. Thanks.

>>20297334
US supreme court says that you arent allowed to execute retards.

>>20295365
>>>20295267 (OP) #
>A dinosaur egg omelet. Legally they have to give you what you want for your last meal, and I figure it would take a while to find one.
>Tfw one of the cooks is from Florida
What now?

>>20295267
A peanut butter sandwich
I am severely allergic to nuts, but it's not currently listed on any medical records of mine currently :D
The last laugh will be mine

>>20295267
ur mom

>>20295267
chicken tendies

>>20300371
>Legally they have to give you what you want for your last meal

They don't. They dont have to give you one at all.

Personally I always thought it was ridiculous. If you're such a piece of shit that you actually get sentenced to death you dont deserve good food. You deserve to have a dog turd shoved in your mouth before you're killed.

>>20295277
>A place full of fags and a huge mug of coffee. If they're going to kill me, they're cleaning up afterwards.

>>20299665
t.arabic anon

>>20299928
Who's this?

>>20301010
Humberto Leal Garcia. It was a big deal at the time and caused an international murmur. Pope got involved, it was hilarious.
>Humberto Leal Garcia Jr., 38, was executed by lethal injection on 7 July 2011 in Huntsville, Texas for the abduction, rape, and murder of a 16-year-old girl.
>On 20 May 1994, Leal, then 21, was at an outdoor Friday night party in San Antonio. Adria Sauceda was also at the party. According to witnesses, Sauceda was intoxicated and partially undressed, and was in the middle of a circle of men who were taking turns having sex with her. One man carried her to his truck and, according to a witness, "had his way with her". At some point, Leal told witnesses he was a friend of Sauceda's parents and offered to take her home. The girl - conscious but disoriented - was placed into Leal's vehicle, and Leal drove away.
>About thirty minutes later, Leal's brother arrived at the party and excitedly yelled that Leal had come home with blood on him and said he had killed a girl. Several of the party attendees went looking for Sauceda. They called police after they found her nude body on a dirt road. They observed that the victim's head was bashed in, bleeding, and that it was flinching or jerking.
>The victim had been raped with a broken stick of lumber about 14 to 16 inches long, which was still protruding from her vagina. There was a gaping hole in her head from the corner of her right eye to the center of her head, and blood was oozing from the hole. There was a bloody rock by the victim's right thigh. Her left arm was under a chunk of asphalt weighing 30 to 40 pounds.
tl;dr: Hispanic dude who had been in the US since he was a toddler never became a citizen, got drunk, impaled a teenage girl right in the pussy, bashed her brains out with a rock, shouted Viva Mexico when he got the jab.

>>20301036
>>pope got involved
Then it must've been a satanic ritual murder
>>gaping hole in her head
She was definitely skull fucked

>>20301072
My head canon is that he had a bad case of whiskey dick and couldn't get it up to rape her so she made fun of him. Then he said "OH YOU WANT WOOD I GIVE YOU WOOD BITCH"

>>20301111
Lmao, fuckin CHECKED!!!

Indonesian fried rice with chicken satay, spicy fish stew, spicy pickled eggs and stir fried broccoli. Served with Pilsner urquell

>Fried porkchops w/ gravy
>Mashed taters
>Bean and cornbread
>Collard greens
>Dr Pepper

I's ready mista

>>20301111
Nice quads. If she'd been being carried away and raped by random men she was probably intoxicated to the point of barely being conscious making her the perfect victim cause at that point they don't scream for help. He knew this and took advantage of the situation, premeditated thrill kill not a crime of passion. This reminds me of the Ramirez victim who got her eye gouged out and fucked.

>>20295267
Your wife's asshole.

>>20295267
3 buckets of the best chicken wings one can get around here

wikipedia says that sharing a last meal with other inmates can and has been done
i'd probably do that, just a buffet with everyone else in the prison, maybe the staff too depending on how i feel about them by that point
as for what's in it, that'll depend on what everyone else wants

>>20295365
They dont LEGALLY have to do anything
You're gonna fucking die
This nigga thinks laws are real
Lol
I bet you think free speech is real, too

>>20295267
Five large bowls of chickfila mac n cheese

>>20295267
Why do stock images of guards always show them carrying a fucking gun inside the prison? That's not a thing lol

>>20301111
lmao that’s a ticket to Valhalla for her

I would like to eat one gun, please.

>>20295280
>waking up with a hangover for your own execution
doesn't sound ideal tbph

>>20295267
one plate of handcuff keys please

>>20295267
Take me to the all you can eat Asian buffet

>>20302006
That's all cheap trash

>>20301010
that's barack obama he was the 2nd black us president after bill clunton

>>20296097
Like that ?

>>20301000
Nah, my dad is English, my mum is Israeli, I grew up in California and currently live in the Mountain West

>>20295345
we heard you were a GAMER

>>20295641
>Texas did away with it after one dude just flat out didn't eat any of an obnoxiously large meal.
What do they even care? It's money spent they won't get back either way. Shit, chances are it could be eaten by someone else. Sounds to me like the dude achieved his goal of making them incredibly salty over petty bullshit, good on him.

>>20296526
true, this pisses off the brit boomer >>20296595 get rekt gramps

>>20301036
>eyyyy ese don’t be rayciss I been here since I was 2 I am an American just like you I know no other life you ain’t deporting me fucking gringo!!
>NOOOOO you can’t execute me I am a Mexican citizen! M-muh international law! I am just a poor lost immigrant that no hablo ingles! Viva Mexico!!
that wall can’t be built fast enough tbqhdesu

a smoothie of around 18-20 apple cores (with seeds) the green tops of rhubarb, and unripe almonds

chug it and shit yourself to death before the guard can open the door

>>20299928
Ain't that the night stalker?

I don't have a request. Just here to contribute to this guy
>>20296033

>>20295947
How many years in the can?

>>20295641
>Before his execution, Brewer ordered a last meal that prompted the end of last meal requests in Texas. The meal included two chicken fried steaks with gravy and sliced onions; a triple-patty bacon cheeseburger; a cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and jalapeños; a bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread; three fully loaded fajitas; a meat-lover's pizza; one pint of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream; a slab of peanut-butter fudge with crushed peanuts on top; and three root beers. When the meal was presented, he told officials that he was not hungry and as a result he did not eat any of it.
BTW, Lawrence Brewer was being executed for killing a random black person in his hometown by dragging him behind his truck. He expressed no remorse for his crime, saying that he'd do it all over again

I want some real, delicious and homemade bread. The sourest of the sourdoughs. But here's the thing: It needs to be made with granny's special recipe.
See, what a lot of you filthy Americans and stupid fucking tradlarpers don't understand is that real bread isn't made with some commercial yeast out of a packet, a bunch of enslaved microorganisms that have lived the entirety of their lives inside of a vacuum sealed packet waiting to be turned into some pasty wonderbread or, even worse, to be turned into a shitty facsimile of real bread by your fat, ugly "tradwife". They're only capable of producing slop for your dumbfuck kids and your dumbfuck selves and they kill you through repeated insulin spikes to get back at you for their enslavement. No, REAL bread is made with the love and care only granny can provide.
How do you reckon bread was made before saccharomyces cerevisiae was enslaved? Your grandma would make it. Your grandma, who was unlikely to have bathed within the last 4 months of making the bread, would have likely been rubben an rubben on her creamy snatch because of the high likelihood of her having an infection of some sort. But of what sort? Yeast of course. Your, and my, filthy peasant grandma had no concept of germ theory and was making you delicious and nutritious bread with her own yeast straight from the source. And you wonder why it's so good for you, why it tastes so good and makes you feel more human to eat. This is what they took from you.

So, warden, I'll have granny's special bread or nothing.

>>20307804
That was the Jasper Dragging. I'm from that part of the world, I give that as an example when niggers spout off about racism like they know anything about it.

>>20295267
Chicken noodle soup and a canned fruit salad

>>20295447
I'm surprised to read that. Not because I didn't know that you shit yourself when you die. It just seems callous when someone is already experiencing their most undignified moment. The bed did look spotless in the Herzog documentaries thoughever, so I kind of believe it and I don't want to research it.

>>20308364
yeah id honestly prefer to wear padded pants or some thing other than a literal diaper

I tried doing more digging to verify my own claim and it seems that it's required for electrocution but for lethal injection it's offered to the prisoner but not required

>>20308448
That's still a shit deal, to be totally honest. From what I know, lethal injection is practically a gamble. You could be in agony for ages before it finally kills you.
Also, that's one hell of a strange note. Pork and Allah notwithstanding, Death Row is the last place I'd think of to find suppressed minds. Unless they're scared of the guards or God, they lack most reason to blunt their ideals in favour of reputation. Hopefully their son is doing as well as he ever could and took the right path.

>>20308545
>>death row
>>pork
>>Allah
You just know he was black

>>20295277
they stuff cotton balls up your ass beforehand

>>20295267
A ribeye steak with potato dauphinoise, a large dr pepper cherry and for the dessert peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.

>>20300364
Only if you're found to be a retard. Da troof is most guys in the clink are retarded. Most of them are there because they're stupid, lazy, lack empathy and can't think more than 30 seconds ahead, most dudes on death row are there because they murdered someone in cold blood usually over something insignificant like 40 bucks and a baggie of weed.

McDonalds fries, but made with beef tallow

>>20295267
One liter of iced sweet cream coffee. One sirloin hamburger. And a side of seasoned fries. I'm a simple man.

The head of whoever's in charge of killing me, so that they die instead of me. Once they die, then they won't be in charge of killing me, so they'll need to hire a new guy. His head will then need to be my final meal since the first will no longer suffice. In this manner I will achieve immortality

>>20299515
Good luck, faggot *teleports behind you and unzips dick*