/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20278164
sounds like a you problem

>>20278164
I'm blessed to have never had food poisoning, at least not the kind that has made me yartz or spend all day on the shitter. I usually don't eat anything more questionable than meat in the discount section but no restaurant or anything has made me particularly sick. I might have had it when I was a really little kid but not sure.
I'm not sure if I'm just lucky or have a stronger stomach than most people.

>>20278164
skill issue

>>20278254
based birb
what a cheeky little guy

>>20278164
Wow OP sounds terrible, that kind of stuff always hits women worse it seems.

>>20278164
I got listeria a year ago. It was not fun.

>>20278164
One time I drove myself home, pulling over every 5 minutes to vomit and shit myself clear liquid, my car was never the same

>>20278254
Cute and ballsy
Cooking actually makes most spoiled food safe
The real risk is cross-contamination, this is why vegans and vegetarians get the most food poisoning, they use reusable grocery bags, never wash them, and eat food raw
All of the food poisoning I've ever had was from raw food

>>20278164

>>20278164
No but I do make like making an excuse of it to get out of school classes. It's pretty fun to use that as an excuse.

>>20278655
>Cooking actually makes most spoiled food safe
It can make contaminated food safe, but spoiled food will often contain toxins that aren't destroyed by heat.

>>20278164
It's also a really good excuse to get of work so I can bang my girlfriend.

>>20278655
This is just not true. You can wash off and cook a moldy piece of meat without getting seriously ill. I think you're thinking of botulism which is mainly for canned food.

>>20279946
You just haven't tried to bang your gitrlfriend on an odd day, you have to improvise to get you both off.

>>20278164
That chick is preggo, she's gonna puke.

>>20278164
only once and it was from beecher's macaroni and cheese

>>20278301
Pregnancy and menopause?

>>20278164
Pretty sure I once got ecoli or one of those super bugs from food
I was puking and shitting for 3 days straight, couldn't even keep a sip of water down (would immediately puke), even if I didn't eat I'd dry heave, I had to sleep in the bathroom because at any moment I was puking either from my mouth or my butt. Once I could stomach even the tiniest of liquids, it would just come out my ass minutes later. This was all coupled with fever, chills and cold sweats. It was truly awful but I managed to get through it with no doctors or medicine (I couldn't leave the bathroom)
Funnily enough, I haven't been sick since then aside from a minor cold once every few years. This was 12 years ago.
I'm 99% sure I got sick from a sketchy buffet my stoner friends and I went to. It took me years to ever go back to any sort of buffet since

I went to India so yeah.

>>20278164
Never but I've used it as excuse to get out of going to school and to work, sometimes it's fun to use some goofy excuse to not deal with stupid shit.

>>20279937
>>20279946
Botulism can't be cooked out, but it's relatively rare, and while improperly canned food can promote it, it's mostly in raw food
The most common source is garlic; how many times have you had garlic and not gotten sick?
I used to worry more about it but then I watched Kitchen Nightmares and I figured if those people aren't killing people cooking food will pretty much make it all fine

>>20278164
Last year at my local McDonald's. Big Mac tasted off and the fries tasted off old oil. Fucking Immigrants bringing german McDonald's on par with the filthy Yankee ones.

>>20278164
Yep, from a Domino's Lava Cake
>became sick within an hour or so of eating it
>shat and vomited pure liquid for about 8 hours, throughout the night, getting no sleep
>shivering and sweating at the same time, stomach ache and nausea
>felt weak for about 5 days, like a stiff breeze could knock me over
All in all it wasn't TOO bad, I thought I was dying initially, though.

>>20278164
Got a case after eating at some shitty Moroccan-run restaurant in Grenada.
After my 4th shit of the morning, I realized I might be unwell. 2 chicks I was with were laid in bed all day but I couldn't be bothered to waste my trip so I just left insane liquid shits in every cafe/shop I went to.

>>20281568
Granada

>>20281568
If you really had food poisoning you wouldn't be prancing around town going to cafes and shops

>>20281618
You must have a weak constitution.
I steeled myself through the dozens of bowel evacuations I had that day and lived to tell the tale.
I paid for it in the evening when I returned to my hotel, however.

>>20281654
You had a tummy ache is what you had, buddy. Nothing more

>>20278164
Yes, from a prepackaged cup of pomegranate seeds. I was physically shaking on the shitter for like 8 hours all night and felt like I was gonna die. I can't eat pomegranate anymore because of that experience.

I bought clearance Italian sausages when I was a sophomore in college. I cooked them in a frying pan for maybe ten minutes. Inside was still fucking raw but I ate it anyway because I was a poor college student. I shat my bed twice and wanted to die for days. I'm probably fucking full of parasites

>>20281873
Now THATs food poisoning
When you can't tell which end to point at the toilet's when you know it's either that or the flu and either way you eventually want to take a nap in the shower

Once that I can think of.

Not sure what caused it but I think it was a delayed reaction from a Chinese buffet.
Later, I took a flight to Europe and it started to hit when I was in layover. Came full force once I got on the longest flight.
I spent the next 10 hours in a cramped seat exploding from both ends while it felt like a knife was being dragged through my guts. What little water I could drink just came back up each time. It's only by the grace of God that I was assigned 2 rows from the bathroom. Meanwhile my whole body was shivering I was so cold, and none of the blankets they had on the flight were large enough to cover me.

Had I been anywhere else I would have probably asked to go to the ER. If there's a hell and I go there, it'll probably look a lot like that cabin.

>>20282035
Oh yeah, and they also lost my luggage.
So there's that, too

>>20281654
Sounds more like your bland ass stomach couldn't handle a bit of unfamiliar food so you were just liquid shitting it out all day. If you were actually food poisoned, you would have known

>be me several years ago
>tore a ligament in my ankle
>I’m largely immobile but get around on crutches
>not working obviously, spend most of my time in my apartment high as balls on painkillers
>one afternoon they wear off and I realize I’m hungry
>crutch my sorry ass to the chipotle 2 blocks away
>crutch back and eat my asada burrito
>the next day gf comes over
>we hang out but I’m feeling more sick by the hour
>figure it’s the painkillers
>go to bed
>wake up a couple hours later
>oh fuck I’m gonna puke
>like immediately
>make gametime decision to not fumble for my crutches in the dark
>put weight on bad ankle
>fall and crawl to the bathroom
>puke a torrent of liquid misery into the toilet
>suddenly realize I’m about to cut a hole in the drywall with the high pressure diarrhea stream speedrunning my gut
>climb up onto the toilet just barely in time
>blast out a stream of pure liquishit
>alternate between puking and shitting all night
>eventually just stay sat on the toilet with a trash can in my lap to puke into
>can’t keep even a drop of water down, puke pure bile
>closest I’ve ever come to calling an ambulance on myself, felt like I might die I was getting so dehydrated
>eventually it slows down to the point I can crawl to the couch and catch some sleep in between the shittenings
>gf gets up in the morning and asks why I’m sleeping on the couch, slept through the whole thing

Normally opiates plug you up but I guess chipotle brand e.coli is stronger. I was weak as an anemic kitten for like a week after that. Never went to chipotle again.

>>20278164
Yes. My Grandfather picked "cranberries" from a bush in his backyard and made juice out of them. I drank it and was on the toilet vomitting both ways about 25 minutes later.

Am currently on the toilet alternating between shitting transparent liquid or projectile vomiting. My ass stings like I'm passing straight up stomach acid wtf
Is it over bros

I don't know what's wrong with me but I often get stomach pain
I'll go to the toilet and shit a bit and then go to my room
30 minutes later I'll go back to the toilet and then have a ton of stinky and sloppy shit that comes out and after I pass it all the pain will instantly end
Usually it takes me two tries to get it all out but once it took me 5

>>20278164
Nothing serious. One time I ate spoiled pasta and threw up a few times.

>>20282035
I had a lost luggage once on an airplane trip but I sat around for about a half hour and they found it and got it back to me. It helps to have friends that work for the airline and I sort of suspect that they searched it because that's happened a couple other times.
I forget whether that was Delta or Eastern.

>>20282264
That kind of looks like that mayor crackhead marion barry, anyone remember him from washington dc?

>>20278164
third worlder here, have had 4 food poisonings due to eating at sussy street vendors
puked on bus, ran to home and puked like there's no tomorrow, stomach became washing machine, barely breathing and had to shit out toxic waste tier poop
honestly im blessed that im still okay, been eating more homemade food instead now

>>20278164
Got food poisoning from chicken on pizza from papa johns.
I shit so hard that it gave me an internal hemmeroid and I shit blood the entire day and felt a knot in my colon for weeks.

>>20282405
Too much information

>>20278164
>lust provoking image
>irrelevant time wasting question