/ck/ - Food & Cooking

If Jimmy Kimmel can get a late night show
then thinly sliced garlic can liquify.

The entire grilled cheese scene from Chef is completely unrealistic, despite the fact that he had a couple celebrity chefs on to consult him on how they would do it.

>>19892244
Kimmel is far better than Fallon or Meyers, or that guy I can't even remember the name of who took over The Daily Show. The only half decent late night host today is Colbert, and he's just okay.

>>19892244
it'll become a tiny charred slice before anything

>>19892259
>>19892244
the goat

>>19892185
sounds like bullshit story

I don't think you understand how thinly paulie was slicing that garlic

>>19892185
>For years I've railed against this stupid scene in Goodfellas
>I have no friends
NGMI

>>19892259
>>19892244
I'm not a fan of Kimmel, if anything him trying this for years and not realizing it's bullshit is a good display of his idiocy. But I'm glad he asked so we finally got it from the horse's mouth.

>>19892245
That's a really good one actually you're right.

>>19892259
>S-stop clapping!

>>19892320
I don't think you understandhow garlic works.

>>19892259
>I can't even remember the name of who took over The Daily Show.
i remember Trevor Noah but i think he quit a year or 2 ago and i have no idea who's doing it now. not that anybody cares

>>19892244
They banned me from the Jimmy Kimmel subreddit for posting him in black face. Fuck Jimble Kibble and the humorless twats who lick ass.

>>19892407
Yeah, that's who I was thinking of. Gone and forgotten. You'd have to go to podcasts with someone like Joe Rogan to find a worse interviewer.

No one actually does this.

>>19892245
the fuck was unrealistic about it?

>>19892531
Literally everything from start to finish. The use of the flattop, the way he adjusts the temperature, the way he butters it, the mise en place, the kitchen towel, the amount he fucks with it and just generally hovers over it with such a serious look of concentration, to the way we moves it to the cutting board, and...yeah, the plating is about the only realistic thing about that scene.

>>19892559
This. The point of the scene is to try and show him putting a ton of effort into something his son then mostly disregards but it doesn't come off well because the actual way he does it is retarded

>>19892618
Yeah, the son really not caring was the payoff, but I saw the point being that he was always in chef mode and put the same care into everything he cooked even if it's just a basic sandwich for his kid, but that's not how a professional chef acts. If it were realistic he would have dirtied half the dishes, taken half the time, been looking at his phone or trying to talk to his son the whole time, and the sandwich would have turned out exactly the same because it's a fucking grilled cheese and he would be able to make that in his sleep.

>>19892650
To add to that, the two things that always really irked me about the scene is the part when he adjusts the heat on the flat-top, and the part where he moves the sandwich to the plate and then immediately slides it onto the cutting board to cut it in half. Anyone who's used a flat-top knows that slightly turning down the heat isn't going to do shit if you're half way through grilling a sandwich. And nobody who has ever worked in a kitchen would use the plate to transfer the food to the cutting board. Even though it doesn't matter in the least in that scenario, it's just not something someone with that kind of experience would ever do, instinctually.

>>19892245
>grilled cheese scene from Chef
what are you talking about?

>>19892559
i just watched the scene three times and i'm really not seeing the problem. kind of weird that he butters the bread twice, but he's a fat american, maybe all americans do that, i don't know.

>>19892330
>him trying this for years
I doubt he really did. Probably something a writer came up with for them to talk about.

>>19892259
>Kimmel is far better than Fallon or Meyers
eh it depends.
2000s kimmel wasn't that bad. i remember the debut episode after the bucs won the super bowl. uncle frank and tito pretty cool

fallon while he was in the 12:30am spot was pretty good. he was a breath of fresh air to the format. he had a lot of new sketch ideas and was more edgier. obviously he got neutered when he moved to 11:30pm (same thing when conan moved up, had to tone down a lot of shit).

meyers is trash. he was always a "me too" pick to fallon

>>19892185
Wow you sound like a huge loser

>>19892666
>Anyone who's used a flat-top knows that slightly turning down the heat isn't going to do shit
fuck it, ok. if you have a shitty old, heavy top that you never clean, it does take longer to heat up and cool down, there is less temp control. but if you have a nice, clean, light top, temp control is is easily achieved. he's obviously reducing the temp so his bread doesn't dry out and his american sized serving of cheese can melt.

>nobody who has ever worked in a kitchen would use the plate to transfer the food to the cutting board
he's a high end fine dining chef. fine dining is full of autistic oddities like this. it's bad form to transfer directly to your board.

>>19892185
>it doesn't work in the first place and all chopping your garlic that slowly does is give it lots of time to oxidize and turn gross.
Ok smart guy, now try explaining that to Paulie

>>19892685
The problem isn't with the sandwich itself (although, yes, the amount of butter and oil he uses doesn't make any sense; you can get plenty of flavor and uniform browning without doing what he did, which would likely lead to an overly greasy sandwich). The problem is how he goes about everything. I've trained a lot of new cooks, and observed them if they were doing a stage (they wouldn't know I was the one watching them and would think it was the chef they needed to impress), and the very first thing I always notice is how someone moves in a kitchen. Before they cook a single thing I've already made a decision as to whether or not they're going to work out. If Favreau was staging in my kitchen I'd tell the chef at the end of the night on day one that he's larping, and most likely lied on his resume - or at least to contact one of his references to hear their take.

>>19892185
>typical fat american fails to grasp hyperbole.

>>19892759
ok but none of that has anything to do with the final product. you can get pretty damn close to the grilled cheese he made in the movie

>>19892185
You can get garlic to produce different kinds of flavors based on how it's cut, onions too to a lesser degree, it's not BS

>>19892759
>typical fat american fails to separate fact from fiction.
he literally is larping, you massive sperg. this thread was built on the fact garlic doesn't melt, you're over here crying because jon favreau doesn't make a sandwich the same way you do at mcdonald's.

>ctrl+f "american"
>5 results
You obsessed faggots truly are legitimately incapable of not thinking about us for more than 10 seconds, jesus fuck

>>19892259
>Colbert
He's been failing to tell the same joke for 8 years.

>>19892749
>he's obviously reducing the temp so his bread doesn't dry out and his american sized serving of cheese can melt
Yes, that's the obvious reason he would be doing that, but it simply doesn't work that way, no matter how good your grill is. It's not like turning down the flame on a gas stove; it's more like turning down the heat on electric coils, that time time to heat and cool, and he's making a single grilled cheese. That's my point. Even with that amount of cheese it's not something you would have to adjust the heat for, nor would it make any significant difference when there's multiple other options that make more sense.
>it's bad form to transfer directly to your board
No, it's bad form to needlessly waste movements, needlessly dirty extra dishes and create clutter, and absolutely bad form to put something on the plate you're intending to serve on, take it back off, and plate it a second time on a now dirty plate.
>>19892777
>none of that has anything to do with the final product
I said that in the first sentence.
>>19892795
>he literally is larping
No, he LITERALLY is not. He's acting in a movie attempting to portray a professional chef.

>>19892798
>typical fat american so self-absorbed he's checking to see if anyone's talking about americans.

>>19892811
>He's acting in a movie attempting to portray a professional chef.
yes, that's what larping means.

>>19892823
You're simply wrong on this one. Sorry.

>>19892826
so do you believe that planet of the apes actually happened as well? you're not well.

>>19892245
How irritable and neurotic are you to get annoyed at a 60 second scene in a movie of a guy making a grilled cheese sammie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbdUGdxX7ww

>>19892759
It's just a movie. The whole point was to be visual food porn. You're like one of those plebbits who always complain families on tv have 5 course breakfasts and long loaves of uncovered french bread sticking out of their grocery bags. It's not real life. It's images on the screen for our amusement, get over it.

>>19892813
>see butthurt eurosharts throwing unprompted tantrums about americans again
>decide to see how many of you fucking losers are doing it in this thread
>butthurt euroshart throws yet another tantrum over it because he's fucking obsessed with americans and literally cannot stop thinking about them

>>19892811
>it's bad form to needlessly waste movements
so which arm do you have your knife tattoo on?

>>19892798
They also can’t stop coming here in hordes or jacking off to white American porn stars or communicating in our language on this American forum. Brown jealousy of white people knows no bounds.

>>19892885
>typical fat american unable to comprehend multiple continents.

>>19892895
>americans americans americans americans americans americans americans americans I'm not obsessed I'm not obsessed I'm not obsessed I'm not obsessed americans americans americans

>>19892845
its called detroit

>>19892845
I was really hoping you weren't going to try that angle. I'd rather talk about food and cooking than spend my time explaining the difference between live action role playing, making a movie that is meant to reflect real life, and fantasy entertainment. You sound like the kind of person who thinks Gordon Ramsay is a bad chef because you don't like his TV personality, but I doubt you'll get why that's relevant to the discussion and bring up his grilled cheese or whatever stupid deflection pops into your head.

>>19892862
You're literally posting on a food and cooking interest board right now. People come here to talk about food and cooking. Going on a rant about the grilled cheese in Chef with random people irl would be weird, but people come here to talk and argue about food and cooking, so I don't understand why you're here, telling people not to talk about food and cooking because it doesn't matter. It would be like going to /k/ and telling them they're a bunch of autists for caring about people calling a magazine a clip, or bad trigger discipline in a crime drama. (I mean, they are autistic, but I also think that shit is kind of stupid, which is why I don't post on that board.)

>>19892888
What a dumb thing to say. That's the complete opposite of everything I've been talking about.

>>19892907
nah, i love ramsay.

>Americans take films too literally — they are forever trying to puzzle out ‘the story’ and to find hidden meanings where there are perhaps none. For them, a film must be entirely rational, without unexplained mysteries.

>Europeans, on the other hand, look upon films as intended: as works of visual art, to be reacted to as one reacts to a painting, subjectively rather than objectively. For Europeans, ‘the story’ is of secondary importance and they are not bothered by what you call ‘ambiguity’ and ‘plot holes.’


Is he right? Why are Americans like that?

>>19892962
Well I hate him, but would never say he isn't a real chef just because he decided to become an actor/e-celebrity.

>>19892890
>communicating in our language
I don't speak jive, Chippewa, Ojibwe, Iroquoian or Cherokee.

>>19892969
admittedly i haven't watched any of his stuff since 'the f word' years, so i don't know what he's about these days. he's doing acting now?

>>19892968
Chef isn't an art film and the fact that it's full of plot holes is a legitimate problem because it lacks any depth or subtext that would warrant departing from a simple 3-act structure. It was a vanity project and, as another anon said, food porn. The problem is that it's bad food porn. It's fake tits and tan lines and ahegao and using condoms in 2023.

>>19892678
the grilled cheese scene from chef

>>19892823
Holy shit you're retarded
IF YOU CAN TELL HE'S NOT ACTUALLY THE ROLE HE'S PORTRAYING THEN HE'S A BAD ACTOR OR HAS A SHIT DIRECTOR

>>19892988
you don't know that

>talk about it all thread
>no one posted it
see for yourself /ck/

I don't know why its quote unquote 'bullshit'. You can do all of. It's all actually doable. The fact that you wouldn't want to do it is a minor detail.

>>19892984
All the people who speak those nearly dead languages also speak American English, like you’re doing right now, estupida.
>jive
Do they have any post 1970s movies in whatever shithole you live in?

More bullshit cooking from my /tv/ folder. A crappy egg sandwich spritzed with hot-sauce will NOT, in fact, give a woman an orgasm.

>>19892522
I’m guessing you’ve never been to a habachi grill?

>>19892968
The difficulty with Americans is that they do tend take almost everything as literal. There is no room for hyperbole in a conversation with the American. This can, at times, make it extremely frustrating to have a conversation, particularly a conversation regarding artistic sensibilities, with one.

>>19893041
No but it definitely gave me one.

>>19893045
the average american is brown dullard at this point. you're not wrong, but, i don't know, i guess just realize how racist you are being, which I am totally cool with by the way.

wow finally a topic on /ck/ that *IM* the expert in

In Jurassic Park this dish was called "Chili and Seabass" but as you can see there is nothing you would remotely call chili present on the plate. That's "bullshit" cooking in a movie if you ask me.

>>19893061
what's even more bullshit is they put a soup on a plate. fucking retards.

>>19893045
>>19893051
You literally used the word "hyperbole" in English

>>19893030
10 slices of cheese is a fairly regular amount of food for one person?

>>19893041
as if you would know

>>19893045
Then why would you come to an American website to talk to Americans. Are you a retarded masochist? Surely your country has a forum where you speak with your countrymen who share your artistic sensibilities.

>>19893061
what are those red things on the right of the plate?

>>19892666
>And nobody who has ever worked in a kitchen would use the plate to transfer the food to the cutting board. Even though it doesn't matter in the least in that scenario, it's just not something someone with that kind of experience would ever do, instinctually.
It would be weird as hell to do as a regular ass person. It's the kind of thing where you actively think for a second "wtf did I do that for, am I an idiot?"

>>19893082
Another one from Jurassic Park. That white creamy substance? It's shaving cream, and not the delicious sweet dairy topping, whipped cream that villain Dennis Nedry would have you believe. The unlucky recipient of that slice of pie would likely call it 'bullshit cooking'.

>>19892185
>it's just made up bullshit for a movie.
See that makes it sound like, in the world of the movie, we're intended to understand that yes Paulie literally did liquify the garlic. The thing is, what makes more sense is Harry is a dumbfuck mobster dealing with cooking the way a dumbfuck mobster would, by parroting whatever the other dumbfuck mobsters tell him, which they got from their dumbfuck mobster mom etc etc. Like Harry would be the kind of guy to tell you searing a steak "seals in the juices" even though that's not a thing, just because that's what he was taught and he never stopped to think "You know, when I rest the steak there sure is a fuckload of juice coming out".

>>19893082
Red Peruvian pearl peppers would be my guess. It would make sense as Isla Nublar is supposed to be off the West Coast of Central/South America.

>>19893081
Because talking shit to Americans is funny for me. No one seethes quite like an American. Other English speaking nations are too self-deprecating.

Steven Spielberg seems to be one of the recurring culprits when it comes to bullshit cooking in movies.

In Hook, The Lost Boys make a bunch of food appear with their 'imagination'. You can't actually do that. Food doesn't work that way. Its bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N-a72jEFh0

>>19893093
>It's shaving cream
That's clearly Chilean Barbasol, which as anyone who's anyone knows, is formulated to be a a shaving cream, a floor wax AND a desert topping.
https://youtu.be/9cQlVww0zKo

The grilled cheese scene was already posted, retard. Go to the webm containment thread if you want to spam the same webms we've all seen a thousand times while contributing nothing worthwhile.

>>19893114
Who do you think you are, Alejandro? He's forgotten more about chili and seabass than you'll ever know!

https://jurassicpark.fandom.com/wiki/Alejandro

>>19893115
I think it’s more like your third world garbage dump doesn’t have an anonymous free speech forum like this so you have to come here to freely express yourself. Cheers, lad.

>>19893045
Americans have been bred for stupidity to be controlled as pawns by their real free masters

>>19893158
This is now a batshit Eurotrash containment thread
Go to church you fucking heretics

>>19893143
If you're going to link to the wiki you could at least edit the entry so that it actually says, "Chili and Sea Bass". It's like you posted an image of Barq's where the name wasn't written in cursive and still pretended to misread it.

>>19893131
>if you want to spam the same webms we've all seen a thousand times
yes.jpeg?

so sorry I didn't realize we had standards

Umm lets see, anyway. It's not a movie but it was on television and it looks kind of gross so I would label it bullshit cooking

>>19893180
It was chili, confirmed by this deleted scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAD6jUmo4yA

>>19893163
Euros are just mad they have millions of bloodthirsty Achmeds in all their countries that want to destroy them and turn Europe into a Caliphate. They know it’s coming and still they let more and more in. They also have to come to this American forum using stolen Wi-Fi and hiding behind seven VPNs for open communication because their governments don’t permit free discourse.

>>19893045
This is all completely backwards. Posting during non-American hours is like being on /b/. There is no subtlety, no nuance, no wit. It's all just regurgitated memes and name calling.
>can't handle the bantz
No. I don't like spending time around people with the sensibility of middle schoolers, and maybe it's just a coincidence but that always seems to happen right when Europeans are waking up, Australians are getting home from school, and Americans are going to sleep.

>>19893155
Well, yes, but there would also be no Americans to make fun of, either, retard.

Another bullshit cooking scene from director Steven Spielberg. He really seems to have a tenuous grasp on cooking and cuisine. Velociraptors don't actually exist Steven. Calling this a 'cinema sin' would be generous. It's bullshit.

>>19893030
imagine your dad having finger tattoos. poor kid looks like he's got a future as a power bottom.

In The Two Towers directed by Peter Jackson, one of the Uruk-Hai excitedly proclaims that "Meat is back on the menu!" But it's difficult to say how an orc would know what a menu is. Did orcs have restaurants? I would hazard to call it bullshit per se, but it raises some concerning questions.

>>19893199
the fuck you on about, this is prime american time. not only is it early to mid evening, it's a fucking saturdy. europe isn't waking up for at least another 3 hours. in australia they've just finished eating lunch.

Here's the recipe if anybody wants it

>>19893239
>reading comprehension

>>19893228
Jesus fucking Christ that's actually pretty deep

>>19893158
Meanwhile you get thrown in prison for questioning the holocaust, putting a slice of bacon on a quran, or suggesting publicly that maybe allowing millions of 75IQ foreign rapists and murderers into your country to live on welfare might not be a good idea

>>19893093
NEWMAN!!

>>19893242
>yellow cheddar
>it's red
???

>>19893261
Fuckin commies, man

In Under Siege the main character John Rybak wasn't actually a chef as was claimed. He was in fact a highly trained and highly lethal Navy Seal. Kind of a big plot hole for a movie that won an Academy Award, I would say. He even left the pies in the oven too long and they got burned. Its still a good movie, despite these errors.

>>19893202
You’re doing an exceptionally poor job at that. I’m sorry America is just so fucking awesome that you have to rationalize coming to an American site just to communicate with Americans.
>I’m just here to m-make fun of th-them.
No you’re not. You’re here because you live in a smoldering trash heap and this American site is a brief respite from your miserable existence.

>>19893273
Your movie trivia knowledge is slipping, anon. He never claims to be the chef, but in fact refers to himself as "just a cook." It's probably the most iconic line of the entire movie.

>>19892259
What is the matter with you? No, really. What is your deal?

I think this is related to the thread. Remember the white rapper MC Serch from the early 90s rap group 3rd Bass? He recently did some 90s rap throwback event that no one attended at a small restaurant venue and made a huge ass of himself. He got some food truck guy from Brooklyn to make hood sandwiches including the NYC bodega special,
the chopped cheese. Serch filmed himself bothering the food truck guy and Serch repeatedly yelled out IS DAT DA CHOP CHEE? in a horrible wigger accent and the food truck guy was visibly annoyed. It’s fucking hilarious and worth finding the vid.

>Shaken not stirred
It melts more ice than stirring gently. James Bond was drinking a cloudy weak Martini. This is bar-ology 101

>>19893331
it still has the same amount of alcohol in it though. adding ice to drinks doesn't magically make the alcohol disappear. why do people believe this?

>>19893320
Are you really simping for Jimmy Kimmel in a thread about how to cook a grilled cheese sandwich?

>>19893327
>Remember the white rapper MC Serch
No.
>early 90s rap group 3rd Bass?
Also no.
>He recently did some 90s rap throwback event that no one attended
Because literally know one knows who tf the motherfucker Is.

>>19892907
Physically rolled my eyes reading this. You've got the reddit-midwit style down pat. Kudos.

>>19892294
Oops. You seem to have posted the wrong picture.

>>19893228
Kek. Holy shit. This one actually got me. I kneel autism sama.

Patton Oswalt, who voiced 'Remy' in the movie Ratatouille which is all about cooking, perhaps murdered his wife in her sleep and got away with it. True story.

>>19893361
That movie is unassailable when it comes to cooking in a professional kitchen though, so I wouldn't call it bullshit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgiK-HWKPjw

>>19893331
Yeah, and it only took about half a century for people to realize a single line from a movie had resulted in them making every martini in their life incorrectly.
>>19893337
Disregarding the image the other anon posted, it is pretty normal for bars to fill a martini glass just about to the rim, so watering it down even slightly could mean you're not getting the full amount of alcohol. You also don't want a watered down martini because...it's watered down. People who order martinis aren't doing so because they want to mask the taste of the alcohol.

>>19893278
It's the most pathetic cope in the world, every one of these retards always tries to pass off their incessant butthurt repetition of the same 4 or 5 memes as "I j-just like b-banting on amerish-sharts" seemingly not realizing that they're making complete clowns of themselves and getting mocked savagely for how pitifully low effort their dumb shitposting always is, literally "I was only pretending to be retarded"

>>19893360
That post is pasta from /tv/.

>>19893403
What am I supposed to do, anon? How can I better entertain you on the cooking forum of a chinese white-water rafting image board? Should I post links from Twitter more ? Genuinely curious here.

You'll have to forgive me, I didn't know we could only post original content. I didn't know that, and I've been here since 2008. By the way where is your original content? I don't see you posting any.

>>19892185
even if it worked it wouldn't do anything.

>>19893435
>120 posts in and he's just now got the basic gestalt of the OP

>>19893403
What's really funny is that the turd worlders aren't pretending to be retarded like Americans and Euros do for laughs. They're actually fucking retarded. Look at the reply you got from the seething guy who lives in a garbage dump like a shit colored Oscar de la Grouch , it's just passive aggressive reddit rage. He's fucking mad and he can't even be funny. lol he thinks he's making fun of Americans when all he's doing is dancing like a monkey and making every American laugh at him flailing around.

>>19893030
Half the bullshit people cried about this are right but half are wrong. There's nothing wrong with using a lot of butter it adds flavor and is a healthy fat.
On the other hand he also squirts a bunch of oil as well which is pointless bullshit when butter is already the frying medium.
The amount of cheese he uses and the way he does it is retarded, six slices of cheese is way too fucking much. And I say that as a fatass who loves cheese and eats it with almost every meal. But that much cheese first off can never melt before the bread is black and two it's just so much that it overwhelms the sandwich.

Also if you are using that much cheese or even half that which would be much better you need to either premelt the cheese by setting it on the griddle for a few seconds to soften it or you need to cover and steam the sandwich. Otherwise you are getting half melted cheese which sucks.

The other shit bitching about the cutting board and plating is all retarded, he's not in a fucking fancy restaurant serving paying customers he's cooking for his kid.
He can move it around and cut it and plate it any way he fucking wants and anyone trying to apply restaurant etiquette to home cooking is a fraud and should never be listened to.

>>19893468
omg.. it's worse than we thought. Its not just bullshit. It's dishonest. It's dishonest filmmaking.

>>19893488
It's true, the way he made that sandwich you could never have gotten the finished product. You can tell from the jump cut how it goes from not melted at all to completely melted and finished. He obviously failed and they had to make another one and splice it in.

>>19893468
>>19893492
You're bonkers, I have made many grilled cheeses with far more cheese than his and had them melt just fine before the bread burns.

>>19893427
Maybe talk like a normal fucking human being you moron, and stop crying and whining about americans every 15 seconds

>>19893468
You're wrong about everything.
The oil is added as a buffer so that the butter isn't placed directly on a hot grill, which would likely result in it browning too quickly. It's why you see people toss a knob of butter in a pan with a steak to baste it instead of just cooking with butter entirely. Being a "healthy fat" is completely irrelevant. Adding too much fat to a sandwich will make it oily/greasy at a certain point and no matter how much you like butter that's not going to be enjoyable to eat.
And assuming those are all soft, easily melting cheeses, there's absolutely no reason they couldn't all get melted. Some of them are paper thin. The reason he starts the two sides separate is to get the bread heated through, so that when he puts them together the cheese is receiving heat from the top and bottom. There is nothing magical about this. It's literally how everyone makes a grilled sandwich on a flat top.
And your last bit about moving the sandwich to the cutting board is just you not understanding the argument that was made. It has nothing to do with "etiquette". It's about him moving and acting like a chef because THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE SCENE.

this might be the worst thread on this board right now. congratulations, retards.

>>19893548

>>19893545
You've failed to understand basic cooking principles and revealed your ignorance. I have cooked more grilled cheese sandwiches at work and at home in a year than you will in your entire life.
It doesn't matter what kind of cheese it was that was entirely too much to be thrown on raw it would never fully melt just like gordon ramsey's bullshit grilled cheese. The jumpcut from completely unmelted to fully melted shows the impossibility of it.

Also your retarded take about the "cheese getting heat from both sides" shows you've never actually attempted to cook a grilled cheese properly.
No serious person cooks them separated and then combines them halfway through. Neither side heats enough open faced and separate. All you have done is half the time it has to melt because you are cooking both sides of the bread at the same time. Now the cheese has even less time to melt.

As I said if you are going to do an absurd amount of cheese the only way to accomplish it is to either pre melt the cheese by putting it directly on the griddle for a second and then quickly placing it on the bread or by steaming it with a lid.
The oil is also completely unnecessary, I have never needed it and my sandwiches always come out perfectly golden and crispy and the cheese is always melted which you can see in the final shot is barely true that middle portion is still half congealed.
It was a sandwich made to show not to eat which for tv I guess is fine but it's not how anyone who cares about food should do it.

>>19893545
no, the point of the scene is that he's in control of what he's doing. he's in his own kitchen, making his own food, the way he wants to make it. the movie chef isn't meant to be some great insight into the world of chefs, it's a movie about losing control that just happens to be set in a world of chefs. you are everything the movie is fighting against. you are restricting jon favreau's freedom by telling him that what he's doing is wrong. you're fucking dustin hoffman.

>>19893563
every melt at my place starts with buttered bread down on the grill with a slice of cheese on each un-buttered side
we put it on the middle of the grill where it's 400º, not on the lower end where it's 350 or on the higher end where it's 450.

>>19893566
Spotted the real one. I could tell because of some of the things you said and the way you said them. Stay real my dude and remember, real ones burn local

>>19893030
It's all the finger fidgeting and touching everything delicately. None of that mattered.

>>19893563
>I have cooked more grilled cheese sandwiches at work and at home in a year than you will in your entire life
You bring bread and cheese to the office and microwave them, and then go home and make another grilled cheese for dinner? That's not even autism tier; that's full down syndrome.
>gordon ramsay
There it is. I knew someone would try to bring this up eventually, despite there being absolutely nothing in common between the two sandwiches.
>All you have done is half the time it has to melt because you are cooking both sides of the bread at the same time. Now the cheese has even less time to melt
No you idiot, what I (and everyone who has ever worked a grill station with a flat top) have done is halve (not quite, but whatever) the time it will take for the cheese to melt because I've started heating things from both sides. You now have heat coming from both directions. You keep going on about how much cheese that is, and yet you're somehow imagining that stacking it all up into a single pile and heating it from the bottom is going to be quicker than heating two smaller stacks at the same time? How in the actual fuck does that even make sense in your head?

>>19892411
>uses reddit
>goes on r/jimmykibble
Kys

>>19893563
>>19893615
And you repeatedly suggesting throwing the cheese directly on the grill or steaming the sandwich is probably the most retarded thing you've said in two posts consisting of nothing but retarded things. It's nice when a little cheese overflows onto the grill and gets crispy, but you don't want to do that for the entire thing. And steaming is an even dumber suggestion. You've never worked in a kitchen. That suggestion alone proves it. Why in the actual fuck would you steam a sandwich right after you just finished toasting it? It's so fucking absurd I'm convinced you're just trolling at this point.
I was never defending the oil or the amount of fat used. I was explaining the rationale of why they would have him doing that in the movie from a culinary perspective. "I do it this way at home all the time and it's always perfect" is the worst argument anyone can ever give on /ck/. I don't give a shit if you've found a way to cook a thing in your kitchen that you like and do it consistently. You don't understand what you're doing or why, and and usually the person who says that's food kind of sucks but they don't know any better.
>a sandwich made to show not to eat
Literally the opposite. The end product looks perfect, but everything about the process is retarded.

>>19893615
>There it is. I knew someone would try to bring this up eventually, despite there being absolutely nothing in common between the two sandwiches
There is a commonality which you are comically pretending to be ignorant of and continue to show your ignorance by pretending that your diner grilled cheese is the same thing as the one shown in the video.

Ramsay was mentioned because both sandwiches failed by having an incorrect bread to cheese ratio.
The same problem is seen in ramsays video but taken to the furthest extreme. The chef sandwich has the same problem just not to the same degree.

I was going to let it go but since you made two posts about your diner sandwich I guess I'll have to address it.
You should have been smart enough to figure this out yourself but I guess I'm not dealing with the brightest of the bunch.
The reason your open faced sandwich works is because you are using a single slice of cheese on each side.
Whereas in the video 3 or 4 times that amount of cheese is used which is entirely impossible to properly melt before the bread is overcooked. The jumpcut from completely unmelted to finished proves that it was a bullshit shot and they had to remake it properly off screen.

>>19893638
>>19893641
you're both clearly retards, which makes me even more retarded for posting this.

>>19893638
>It's nice when a little cheese overflows onto the grill and gets crispy, but you don't want to do that for the entire thing
I never said anything about getting it crispy. Obviously time is too complicated of a topic for you as well. Go back and reread my post. I said a single second, not 10 seconds or 30 or a minute.
I mean you literally drop it on the grill and immediately scoop it back up with a spatula and slide it on the bread.
That's all it takes, you are just trying to raise the temp a bit to get it closer to the melting point not actually melting it.
What the fag in the video does is just take raw slices of cheese presumably straight from the fridge ice cold and stacks them to the sky and somehow they are supposed to completely melt before the bread is completely blackened. It's absurd and doesn't work that way.
The only ways around it are to either do what I suggested and covering the sandwich with a lid for a little bit of time does in fact work and if the sandwich is properly buttered and toasted it will remain crispy while creating the heat necessary to fully melt the cheese.
Either way the video fails and I don't know why you are so obsessed with defending a shitty television celebrity feux chef.

>>19893566
It's a really straightforward scene, anon. You're trying to take the larger sort of "point" of the movie and say it's all in that one scene when it really isn't. He's not free, he's not being creative or expressing himself. He's cooking lunch for his kid. There's nothing wrong with that, and I'm not saying being with his kid is restricting his freedom or anything like that. I'm saying that he doesn't look relaxed or inspired or driven in the scene. He looks like he's autistically making a grilled cheese sandwich as though his 3rd Michelin star depended on it. It's stupid. He would be relaxed and joking around in his own kitchen, not doing half a dozen unnecessary steps. The point of the scene is to show how seriously he takes cooking even when it doesn't matter and isn't appreciated. My problem is that the way they chose to portray that seriousness is to make him act completely unnatural for any chef at that level, and do things no chef would ever do at home. You're defending that. You're Dustin Hoffman.

>>19893548
Oh contrare, it's the funniest thread right now. There's nothing better than retard shitposting wars about completely inane topics on /ck/.

How is it this hard to define a fucking grilled cheese? You put bread and cheese on a hot surface with butter, holy fucking christ

>>19893679
Some retards use mayo.

>>19893679
Then why doesn't Europe, which is the bread, cheese, and butter capital of the world have the humble grilled cheese sandwich? Huh?

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Complete fucking fantasy to think people would actually charge that much (let alone want to eat) fish and rice

>>19893641
>still wants to ramble on about ramsay despite it being irrelevant
>tacitly admits to lying about ever working in a kitchen
>criticizes the movie for not showing the sandwich being made in one continuous take, as though he thinks favreau is actually a chef
There's definitely one thing having a meltdown here, and that's you.
>>19893664
>yeah bro, just throw a few slices of cheese on the grill for a couple seconds instead of putting them directly on the bread
>it'll totally be faster and of course you can just save a space in the corner of the grill in case an order happens to come in
That's such a retarded suggestion
>you are just trying to raise the temp a bit to get it closer to the melting point
>covering the sandwich with a lid...creating the heat necessary to fully melt the cheese
Hey, you know what accomplishes both of these things without ruining the sandwich? Starting each half separately so that you're bringing both sides closer to the melting point, and then when you put the two sides together there will be a sort of "radiant heat", you know, kind of like an over or COVERING SOMETHING ON A GRILL SO THAT IT'S BEING HEATED ALL AROUND.
>don't know why you are so obsessed with defending a shitty television celebrity feux [sic] chef
What the fuck? I've been criticizing the scene this entire thread. I was the one who originally posted it. Holy shit you're slow.

>>19893713
>Then why doesn't Europe, which is the bread, cheese, and butter capital of the world have the humble grilled cheese sandwich? Huh?
quel est un croq messieur, monsieur ?

>>19893720
Your concession has been accepted, let me know if you want any more cooking tips from someone who actually makes food for a living.
Instead of puffing up your chest and getting incensed because you don't know everything next time try showing some humility when someone with more experience offers you some advice.

>>19893665
no, man, i've been working as a chef for over twenty years, on three different continents, i've worked with people from all walks of life, and you really do find people exactly like that. just because what you see portrayed on film doesn't match your experience, doesn't make it any less real. josh, if you're reading this, you're autistic and i never liked you. niko, if you're out there, you're a funny cunt and i miss playing dice with you. and, john, i miss you, man.

>>19893563
>I have cooked more grilled cheese sandwiches at work and at home in a year than you will in your entire life.
It doesn't matter what kind of cheese it was that was entirely too much to be thrown on raw it would never fully melt

These two statements don't go together. There's no way you cook that much grilled cheese and are still this bad at it. Ramsay's abomination is because the heat is way too high.

>>19893736
>Ramsay's abomination is because the heat is way too high
And the cheese was an inch thick. It was never going to melt no matter the temp of the pan. Stop defending fake celebrity chefs.

>>19893728
>gets completely btfo
>pretends he "won"
>baseless insult, baseless insult, inane rambling, baseless insult
>no retort, no rebuttal to anything
Shitposters are so predictable it's mindblowing sometimes. You didn't even try to deny that you admitted to not working in a kitchen; you just ignored it and continued to claim you're better and smarter and more knowledgeable without demonstrating any of it.

>>19893726
That looks nothing like a grilled cheese sandwich. What is that red shit under the cheese? And why are the French using pre-sliced commodity looking American bread?

>>19893747
I already explained to you the process and the reasoning behind multiple times. You continue to pretend ignorance and were the one who started throwing insults calling me a pretend cook.
I tried to help explain why the video sandwich was a mistake and you came in trying to defend it because apparently you're the guy in the video or his cousin and it hurt your feelings.
Sorry about that bro, next time try not using half a block of cheese on your damn sandwich and you won't have to hide your failure with a jump cut.

>>19892968
Oh, are you talking about the NPCs that live here in America? Yeah, they take shit literally, have zero sarcasm detection skills, no common sense, and basically live in the present only and listen to what their handlers tell them to, following latest fads/trends like the sheep they are.

But we do have player characters here. People who can make art and appreciate it. But they are being phased out in favor of having more NPCs. NPCs are easier to control and milk for $$.

Also, ambiguity is fine (good even), but plot holes are a sign the director/writer is semi-retarded and didn't think through their artwork the whole way through. I'm not talking the bullshit autists pull out as "plot-hole" gotchas on little details online, I'm talking bona fide rule breaks, where the writer establishes a rule about the world then ignores or breaks it later on. Shit where we are told someone is "good" then we watch them be an asshole type conflicts.

>>19893740
I'm not defending him in any way, he's a complete hack. But you're equally retarded. Put your pan on medium low, flip it every minute or so and you can make a grilled cheese with far thicker than either ramsay or the Chef one and have it fully melted without burning the bread. I have done it countless times.

>>19893730
But in the context of the movie we do see him being "free" in the kitchen and thriving by doing his own thing his own way. That's just not what the scene is about at all. And while I haven't been in kitchens as long as you claim to, I have never and will never know anyone who brings out a clean, folded kitchen towel at home just to wipe of his knife after cutting a single grilled cheese sandwich in half when there's likely a sink right behind him. He's done cooking probably until he makes dinner at the earliest. Why would he do that? You can say you've known people who do shit like that in your own personal experience all you want, but I wont believe you, and even if it's true it's not normal, and the character in the movie isn't some neurotic psycho or anything - he's just a grounded dude who's going through some shit.

>>19893754
>gets backed into a corner
>still wants the last word
And THAT of all stupid things you've said is really the hill you're going to die on? Damn.

>>19893765
>far thicker than ramsay
I think you need serious medical help you are clearly having a stroke.

>>19893774
I'm speaking plainly. Don't put your pan on full blast, flip frequently and it's not hard at all. It just takes a little patience.

>>19893771
You can try to save face all you want but you've beclowned yourself to the entire board tonight. Your lack of ignorance when it comes to cooking is fine, the problem lies when someone who has experience tries to show you other ways to do something and you get upset by that instead of taking it as an opportunity to learn new cooking techniques. I feel sorry anyone that has to work with you. It must be hell working with someone like that in a kitchen.

>>19893768
>I have never and will never know anyone who brings out a clean, folded kitchen towel at home just to wipe of his knife after cutting a single grilled cheese sandwich
That is fucking retarded and I fully agree that no home cook who doesn't suffer from severe OCD would ever do that.

>>19893781
Don't worry I've got you friend, just lay down and rest I'm calling an ambulance right now. If the 5 foot tall grilled cheese shows up don't follow it, it's trying to take your soul.

>>19893789
I'm sorry reality upsets you and you don't know how to cook.

>>19893768
well i wouldn't used a clean towel, i'd use a paper towel, but it seems reasonable to me. you've just cut a cheese sandwich, which, as we know, is mostly fat. if you've ever cleaned cheese off your knife, you would know that it can sometimes be a real cunt to get off. better to give it a dry wipe first to get rid of residual fats. because, as you should know, fat is not water soluble and won't rinse cleanly, and i'd rather not use soap and a scrubber on my expensive knife.

as for the context of the film, every scene where he cooks is about his freedom. because as soon as he gives the kid his sandwich, his freedom is taken away again as his kid signs him up to twitter and he begins his online feud with the critic. in that brief moment he was allowed to enjoy himself before he sets himself up to miserably fail.

>>19893806
Sure sure bro, you should start a food truck selling your ten inch thick grilled cheese sandwiches. Would probably make a killing if you are american.

>>19893785
>your lack of ignorance when it comes to cooking is fine
My lack of ignorance is 12 year old extra fine, but are you really trying to blatantly move the goalposts at this point and claim you were just trying to educate someone about different techniques and "expand their horizons," as it were? When you've been arguing this entire time that IT'S ALL COMPLETELY UNREALISTING AND THE CHEESE IS TOO THICK AND THEY HAD TO CUT THE SCENE BECUASE THEY BURNT IT AND IT'S ALL FAKE AND IMPOSSIBLE UNLESS YOU STEAM YOUR GRILLED CHEESE WHICH IS TOTALLY A THING REAL GRILL COOKS DO!!? Like, really?

>>19893713
I'm american you dumpling, grilled cheese is the simplest dish in the fucking world

>>19893548
This is literally the only thread actually discussing cooking technique in the entire catalog. I hate nu-/ck/ so god damn much.

>>19893824
The sandwich is absurd, but that is what we have to work with and I explained ways to make it work. You being ignorant and probably american are appalled that someone might know a way to cook something that you are unfamiliar with and this caused you to seethe uncontrollably for hours on end. It's really sad but you can't help yourself since they put all kinds of hormones in your drinking water.

either way, as retarded as this thread has become, i really want a cheese sandwich, so now i'm going to go buy some fucking cheese.

>>19893830
>and probably american
That's it folks, we've officially hit rock bottom. When they resort to calling you "American" as an insult you know they've got nothing left and it's over.

>>19893837
You never rebutted a single point only making false assumptions like "the cheese isn't supposed to get crispy". As is often common with americans they automatically assume they are the smartest person in the room and get incensed if anyone brings up cooking methods they are unfamiliar with.

>>19893825
I'm also American, my bad fellow Americhad. Nasty looking croak monsters with weird red shit in the middle are not grilled cheese sandwiches. We need to unite against the europoors as Americhads and not let them divide us. We know what a proper grilled cheese is and it isn't that nasty looking surrender sandwich.

>>19893768
also if you watch the full scene, it his entirely about jon favreau doing things the way he wants to do them.

>"mom cuts the crusts off."

>"well i don't."

jon favreau is the one who ends up eating the sandwich. because it was never just about feeding the kid.

>>19893823
Take another look at his shitty sandwich, dude. There's actually not a ton of cheese in it, he just burns the bread before it has a chance to melt. To be clear, I'm not telling you that you should make a grilled cheese with that much in it, I'm saying it's not hard to do. And if you somehow make grilled cheese sandwiches all day every day and somehow don't understand that then you're a terrible cook.

>>19892185
>why do we call him “Fingers”? Because they absolutely reek of garlic and you can smell them from a mile away
No gang member would ever do this.

>>19893855
Everything about the sandwich is wrong, the cheese and bread are too thick. The ratios are all off and it would never work especially when he used a hard cheese that doesn't even melt properly. Again I don't know why ignorant americans so vehemently defend their celebrity chefs to the death even when they make a joke of themselves.

>>19893855
I actually think it would be good because the ingredients appear to be of high quality and Im ok with unmelted or even downright room temp cheese because I am an adult and not a child.

>>19893895
No one anywhere defends that sandwich. The whole reason it's famous is that it's a train wreck on every level. That's beside the point. The point is that if someone wants to, it's not hard at all to make a grilled cheese with that much or even an inch thick, and if you keep the pan on low and keep flipping it's essy to melt the cheese through before the bread burns. That's all. It's not magic.

>>19893851
>"mom cuts the crusts off."
>"well i don't."
I read that part completely differently. It's not some standoffish thing where he's telling his 12 year old kid that he has to have the sandwich his way because he needs to be free to express himself in his own kitchen or something. You're essentially setting up the son as another antagonistic character weighing down Favreau when that's so completely contrary to everything the movie is about and would make Favreau seem very childish and immature. What he's doing in the scene is being in full chef mode even in the one situation in which you'd think he'd be fine just microwaving a hot pocket. He's not doing some artistic, liberating act of creating. His kid wanted a grilled cheese and he can't help but make the best possible grilled cheese he can, which is what he proceeds to do. The absurdity of the scene is that none of it matters in that instance, but he takes food seriously and when he knows he's produced the best god damn grilled cheese possible and the customer asks for it to be done differently he says no substitutions and walks away - even though the customer is his own son. Later on he starts introducing the kid to different foods and teaching him more about it, and they bond over the thing he's passionate about (and handles in a much better way than he does in the grilled cheese scene). So it goes from, "I'm not mommy and am not going to feed you bad food because that's what you like," to, "try this, and try that, and this is made this way, and can you taste that ingredient."
>it was never just about feeding the kid
But it was. He wanted the kid to enjoy the sandwich but he went about it the wrong way, and now he's eating his perfect grilled cheese cold, which is a metaphor for his relationship with his son and how his career has gotten in the way of them being closer.

And for the record, most professional chefs are eating shit like frozen pizzas and tuna casserole when they come home.

>>19893855
That looks like shit.
>bread is too thick
>unmelted hard cheese
>something that isn't cheese in the middle
>barely grilled bread
>seame seeds
>outer crust is burnt
shit sandwich

>>19893911
tldr

Why would order ‘hot sauce’ in the first place and secondly wait that long for them to bring it to you. Like it doesn’t even take that long to eat the entire meal basically.

>>19893939
now THAT is some fucking bullshit.

>>19893907
>I'm okay with it, I'm an adult
It's going to be hot on the outside, cold in the middle, like a burrito that didn't cook right.
You're an adult and you didn't figure that out by looking at it.

>>19893965
i think anon is saying that it's not a problem for them. because only a child like yourself would start crying about it.

You can’t actually cook an egg or bacon or anything on a woman’s stomach. Don’t try this. Its from the movie Hotshots starring Charlie Sheen.

https://youtu.be/5ogVT5mpg6c?si=GAhbyQpLfA_-RoVK

>>19893987
Women were just hotter in the 90's.

>>19892403
It was a very good system

>>19893716
Obama himself ate there.

>>19893115
Europeans are sad, but its fun (and easy) to fuck their women.
>t. US expat

>>19894066
Based. Mediterranean women are the best. Greek and Italian ladies in their 20s are top tier and they love white Americhads.

>>19892185
ah yes, the same thread with the same image over and over

Looks like bots have a list of ready threads to open and they run around those after some time

>>19893041
skill issue

>>19893045
>There is no room for hyperbole in a conversation with the American.

...what? have you ever conversed with an american in your life? they are the most hyperbolic speakers on the planet to a point where it's annoying. the exact opposite of what you said is true to such an extent that it's painful

>>19893228
kek best post itt

>>19894059
Obama ate Michelle's ass, he's not a good metric for quality.

>>19892185
Guys don't try to make Peter Griffin's car panini, it's a complete mess! It's not at all like shown on screen! Cadbury eggs do not behave like real eggs!

>>19893911
Someone gets it at least.

>>19893398
If you're trying not to get drunk, why the fuck would you order a martini anyway?

>>19894429
And europeans are the autistically literal ones who can't comprehend abstraction or exaggeration at all and get overly, obnoxiously pedantic about fucking everything, that guy lives in opposite land

>>19894486
proofs?

when i was a kid i thought the soup in the book stone soup sounded really delicious even though most of the shit in there was inedible

>>19895342
What fucking version of that story did you read? The whole point of the story is one guy didn't have shit, but he demonstrated a giving and optimistic attitude anyway, so the entire rest of the town all pitched in with real food.

>>19893061
I thought they said Chilean Seabass

>>19893331
He's a secret agent, he can't afford to get drunk on a mission.

>>19894486
Sounds like a connossieur to me.

>>19893030
literally nothing wrong with this

>>19895329
No need for the “s” at the end, ESL anon.

>>19895440
I thought the stone was there to add salt and minerals, fuug I really misread that story

>>19895938
only thing bullshit about it was that he didnt pair with a little pino grigio. mm mm mm, délicieux !

>>19896277
>things that didn't happen

>>19896277
You're not wrong. As a kid you don't gaf about soup ingredients. All you pay attention to is the fact that they made soup out of a literal rock, because that's the cool part. Whoever wrote that book wrote it for adults. No intelligent kid with wit is particularly interested in the generosity bs.

>>19896344
Christ you were a dumb fucking kid. I can't imagine what it must be lile to deal with you as an adult.

>>19896443
Nah, you're just looking at it with an adult's (or retard's) hindsight. Kids are more interested in the story than the PSA at the end telling you to play nice and brush your teeth and go to the library.

>>19893118
this is the most pathetic post in this thread because there really are people that can't do this thanks to their aphantasia lmao. Couldn't be me!

>>19894059
I was implying i thought that the Jiro Dreams of Sushi was a fictional movie and not a documentary

>>19892320
Can to say this

>>19896617
NTA but you're actually retarded. The PSA is the entire point of the story and most kids get that. Only drooling retard children think hurr durr lol rock soup.
>t. former kindergarten teacher's assistant

>>19895490
he did

>>19892294
Ferguson is the real GOAT

>>19892185
WHAT'S AMATTA YOU!

>>19892862
>How irritable and neurotic are you to get annoyed at a 60 second scene in a movie of a guy making a grilled cheese sammie.
It insists upon itself.

>>19893228
Maybe not restaurants, but a large military force would have mess halls and field kitchens and menus wouldn't be out of place there.

>>19896863
Wrong again. Kids are interested in the story first. If you asked a bunch of kids that age if they wanted storytime or moralistic preaching, they'd pick story first. The fact that so many remember that story above all others among the myriad they've heard in school is because of the gimmick, the rock. Every grownup goes, "remember that story...what was it...they made soup from a rock?" And immediately everyone knows what you're talking about. Not a single one goes, "what was that story...you know...people all turned out to help some strangers who at first didn't get the warmest of welcomes?"

>>19896990
Those are your delusions again, child. Wait for the knock. Your life is already over stalker.

mayonnaise is a better thermal paste than butter for a grilled cheese, no need to worry about burning milk solids or anything like that, then you can put a little butter on the inside of the bread to melt if you want its flavor

>>19897003
If you were the kindergarten teacher's assistant who is now fantasizing about telling a child you'll knock on their door and their life will be over, you should delete your post.

>>19893548
oh shit I thought this was /tv/ never mind this thread actually rules

>>19892411
kys

>>19897112
>going on /tv/
Last time I was there it was /gif/ cuckposters, Twitter culture war threads and pedos. That board is a fucking/b/-tier dumpster fire

>>19897052
You have been instructed many hundreds of times to stop contacting this number, stalker. Continuing to do so constitutes felony harassment. Your life is already over. Enjoy prison.

>>19897763
Pay Quasi the rest of his money, Fatrick.

>>19897813
Wrong again, child. I do not need to pay felony atalkers anything. Enjoy prison.

>>19892245
The whole movie is a crock of shit. They treat agio e olio and cubanos like they're some sort of divine culinary feat.

>>19896934
BECAUSE IT'S GOT A VALID POINT TO MAKE, IT'S INSISTING!

>>19893041
It will if it's got an eggshell in it like in that clip.

>>19892294
His "headlines" bit had me tuning in every Monday without fail. Although Conan in his prime had me slapping my knee. He could randomly belt off the funniest shit you've ever heard

>>19893228
now this is some serious shit. the whole ''why didnt they fly''debate can suck my ass, THIS is the real big mystery in LOTR

>>19893361
the guy who did ned flanders also murdered his wife

>>19892522
>can't even use basic pyromancy
You'll never be a real chef

>>19893077
I wouldn't WANT to make a sandwich out of american bagged bread in that timeframe, but I could easily.

>>19892245
There's a moive called Chef?

>>19893041
What moive is this?

>>19892944
Bad trigger discipline in movies actually matters and results in people misusing guns in real life. Meanwhile making a grilled cheese sandwich hardly counts as cooking.

>>19893331
Please barbro, tell me how people can enjoy Vodka Martini, it's the worst fucking drink I've ever consumed. Dirty Martini is cool but I'm practically drinking slightly flavored vodka! I'd drink this from a shot glass, but sipping it like a cocktail, it is rancid!

Do I need to buy 50*10^21$ vodka, or is this just a terrible drink popularized by Fleming? I've never seen a serious man drink this by the way.

>>19893045
The problem is that the average American did have breakfast this morning

>>19898374
And you had nothing to eat except stolen Wi-Fi bars that you’ve squandered trying to insult Americans on an American website while communicating in American English instead of trying to make some money. Well done, Pedro, maybe the seething will stave off the hunger pains.

>>19892185
The whole scene was about to show how good these fellas had it in prison. Little did American know that these are still shit conditions when compared to Scandinavian prisons.

>>19893030
It's the plate. Anything served on that will automatically appear to be mundane goyslop full of microplastics. The plate itself has taken on a metaphysical symbolic form of depressive neglect and disappointment.

Also he didnt toast the inside

>>19898003
reddit tier shitpost

>>19898487
Is that why so many MENA people invade Scandi countries and commit crimes? They’re trying to get incarcerated because it’s the best life they’ll ever know? Sheeeiiittttt, that’s pretty cunning.

>>19893242
>Blitter
What's Blitter?

>>19898526
Rent free

>>19892968
>Why are Americans like that?
They've been brainwashed into thinking the Bible is the literal truth. Obviously all other works of fiction are the truth.

>>19892185
you can slice garlic somewhat this thin, there's a video of marco doing it, or at least cutting it thin enough that it "melts"

>>19893030
Wait, is this what these retards are whinging about?

>>19893242
solirdoligh bread?
blitter?

>>19892944
Things like trigger discipline or checking the breech shows that the director actually cares about the movie. It's a way to show details of a character - those that check the breech have training. That's that just grab a gun, slap it and leave are probably tools.

>>19899047
>shows that the director actually cares about the movie
Yeah, that's the fucking point.

>>19892522
>he doesnt practice qigong

>>19892185
it's meant to show that italians love food and even though he's a big galoot he's capable of sensitivity and care

>>19892759
mayonnaise makes good crunchy-chewy grilled cheese btw

>>19892888
>>19892900
checked

kind of off topic but does anyone have the taco making scene from turbo

>>19898239

>>19892522
I look like this and do this

>>19899199
You have to go back.

>>19898226
Well it's neither of the suicide squad movies, so it must be that shitty Harley Quinn birds of prey movie nobody gives a fuck about.

>>19899355
post gun

>>19892522
>he’s an earth bender
Enjoy your mud pies

>>19893911 >>19893768
I don't even know what the fuck movie you redditors are artistically screeching about but:

>"mom cuts the crusts off."
>"well i don't."

That's just step one of a good dad undoing mom's shitty parenting.
The sooner you break the kid's illusions of going through life with people "cutting the crust off" for them, both literally metaphorically, the better off they'll be.

>>19899486
>artistically
AUTISTICALLY
Fucking spell check.