/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19599422
>landlords hate the entrepreneurial back-of-the-toilet mushroom farmer

anyone have the meatspin.gif?

>>19599703
here you go bro

>>19599710
bahahahahahahahha how did you come up with that one. you owe me a glass of dairy free milk since its now all over my desk LOL

>>19599703
order up chef!

>>19599721
fuck me, its more grim than I remembered. Thanks bruv

>>19599654
Supposed to be like the poop transplants people get now?

>>19599733
t.

>>19599628
What is this?

>>19600247
Looks like raw chicken.

>>19599474

ive tried this and its not as bad as it looks

>>19599422

>>19599721
Shit I haven’t thought about that thread in ages. I’m laughing at this despite only vaguely remembering what happened. Like my subconscious mind still retains the full picture but my conscious mind doesn’t.

>>19599478
I hate bongs so much it's unreal

>>19599625
New 'jak just dropped

>>19600666
How do you fuck up an egg?
>trips of Satan
Oh, that's how

>>19599469

>>19599735
I can smell this picture oh god

I kinda feel sorry for that anon, I've never been that depressed in my life but have come a little close to that. Once got sick, shit diarrhea in my tub and had no strength to clean it till a day later and had to use a dust pan to shovel it out of there, but this is beyond anything most people could handle and I bet the house is making him too sick to do anything about it

I dont think this is a healthy way for you to fast.
Food should be understood and accepted for what it is, not transform it into a disgusting trash for you be disgusted by, so you can fast and achieve your aims.

>>19601033
I don't care about enlightenment I just want to be hot and look good in clothes

>>19601110
You can do that and also be enlighten.
I think that anoreric people triggered their disorder by thinking food is disgusting. I dont know for sure look it up.

>>19599721
Qrd?

>>19601282
anon thawed hit meat in water.
this was part of the attempt to dewater the meat.

>>19601320
Why wouldn't he thaw it in a ziploc bag?

>>19601329
are you a woman? They seem to believe everyone has telepathy.
I don't know why the retard chose to dump frozen meat into water without an impermeable barrier

>>19600666
Is this the borreeto chef?

>>19599469
I always wanted to learn the story behind these images

uh pic unrelated

>>19599664
I haven't seen this in years, thanks for bringing a little joy to my day anon

>>19599687
oh man, his poor fucking kidneys

>>19601696
Cooking meat in soda is an American thing. Someone apparently tried to braise a whole chicken in some blue sports drink. The real WTF is why did they then pose it on their barn?

>>19601724
No, it's a whole series of images of bizarre foods cooked similarly. It looked like a party for weird sex perverts or something

>>19599687
>9 grams of cholesterol

>>19599422
>no shitake.jpg namefile
my disappointment immeasurable and my day is ruined.

absolutely anything from dinotendies

>>19599455
Realistically, what is wrong with this?

im on ozempic. did my dose on saturday. side effects skip sunday. now all food is repulsive for the next 3 days.

Has anyone got the /ck/ guide to utensils image? I had it but I lost it, it was such a good one

>>19600247
Torisashi

>>19601763
>>19601793
>>19601798
Based recipies.
I would let every bite of these dishes melt in my mouth.

>>19601763
You know that's placebo right?

>>19601787
>two quarter cups
depressing kek

>>19601795
is that real authentic Texas chili?

>>19601797
this is hilarious and I hate it

>>19601761
From a health and safety standpoint? Nothing. The food poisoning bacteria in beef only exists on the surface, as long as that's adequately cooked you're fine. It's just incredibly unappetizing.

>>19601797
>>19601826
cauliflower sucks
i wonder how it would be with the cucumber Gatorade.

>>19599659
This woman knows her shit, surprising for her gender

>>19599687
Bruh this is vitamin b poisoning

>>19601798
Would, honestly

>>19601787
kek

>>19601703
This is obviously a made up story but is the mgr meant to be a man or a woman?

>>19601681
>those purple coils
Gotta be Kay. No one fucks up the most basic thing like her.

>>19601724
Cooking pork in coca-cola is Christmas "tradition" among some working class families in the UK

>>19601882
>vitamin b poisoning
thats petty hard to achieve, the body is pretty good at dealing with water soluble vitamins

>>19601761
Nothing. I knew someone who would just boil their steaks. Most people just prefer the outsides to be a bit crunchy after searing.
>>19601792
>>19599628
Thats a weird sashi. Like for severely autistic adults.
>>19599654
Fucking koreans and their shit fixation. Kims should just nuke the southern degrnerates.
>>19600680
mmm... garum
>>19601696
Pissing All By Yourself Handsome?

>>19601814
I disagree. It makes me too nauseous to eat for half the week. I've lost 48 pounds and got my blood sugar under control, so i don't really give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks. Don't shit on people for actually trying to better themselves, you fucking sad unimportant loser. That's fag shit. Mind your fucking business.

>>19601761
Inferior flavor, and it looks more rare than medium. There's a flavor difference between steak and plain beef, and it relies on the browning that microwaving, boiling, etc, will not produce. That said, i've microwaved beef before and eaten it.

>>19601949
>UK
why the fuck do you people have the worst food? I went over there once and even chains that ought to be standardized you under cook everything

Anyone got any traffic come anon stuff?

>>19601935
>floor of his office
a man, also the story is just plausible enough to make it good

Got two /ck/ related /fit/ ones

>>19602646
Can’t you just use a condom?

>>19602152
Nice blog, retard.

>>19601696
haven't seen this one before

>>19601033
>>19601197
If you fucking don't know then don't open your mouth stupid frog posting retard.

>>19602645
time to cook up some ratatouille brother

>>19599687
That's five cartons of 12 eggs in the first image he's posting. Why does everyone in that thread claim he's just eating 50 eggs?

>>19602645
Kek, how horrible.

>>19599673
Kek

>>19601797
I like cauliflower and I feel that making it green is an improvement.

>>19599671

>>19599721
he should've just cooked it as is, what's a bit more water to evaporate, 80% of the time, ground beefs ends up boiling in the pot anyways.

>>19601872
shut up fag

>>19604291
>>19599671

A piece of modern art from our apartment building's local schizophrenic

>>19601367
now not being a retard is telepathy?

>>19601724
hello new friend

>>19599687
Nice

Here's a fresh one from another board.

>>19599422 digits sheckedled

post the food loudener

>>19601696
This isn't unusual. If you go to a pride parade there are always piss swipers hanging around the urinals. They put a plastic cup in the urinal drain to collect peoples urine for drinking. It's so common that people that don't want their piss swiped check for the cup before peeing.

>>19601761
I personally believe that when you don't brown meats it makes it more difficult to digest.

>>19601724
>The real WTF is why did they then pose it on their barn?
"""cursed""" images fad

>>19604993
It's not fully cooked, and yeah. there's a chemical transformation that takes place during cooking due to oxygen exchange, and that is why the meat browns. It means the nutrients are more bioavailable too.
Your instincts are correct.

>>19599628
oh my

>>19604855
>fucking cherry snowcone syrup instead of ketchup
also he should've put in some sliced carrots

>>19605073
Browned food has a crust that's tougher than it would be if it was steamed or boiled. That's not going to make it easier to digest. You can say there's something instinctively appealing about it, but it has nothing to do with bioavailability compared to other cooking methods.

Steaming is even supposed to be the best cooking method to preserve most of the nutrition in food because some things are sensitive to higher heat.

This thread is severely cursed.

>>19605177 digits
You misunderstood what I meant. I meant fully cooked, not 'fried' or 'seared' whatever you're meaning here.
I meant fully cooked as in fully boiled or heated. there is a difference. there's major difference between that and between what you are implying or what was done to the microwaved steak other anon was mentioning in the post I responded to.
Also, odd question, but are you following me? There's something weird going on here. Someone with that exact posting style has been responding to me in different threads across boards all day. it's weird. maybe it's just a coincidence lol. Nvm.

Think this is the only /ck/ screencap I'm in

>>19605186
>I meant fully cooked as in fully boiled or heated.
That other poster specified meat that isn't browned being more difficult to digest. Not just talking about being fully cooked in any way.

I think I've only made like two posts today including that one, so I don't think I'm following you.

>>19605216
"Browned" in this context means something different than what you might think. I'm fairly certain he was referring to the pale color of the microwaved meat in comparison to fully cooked brown meat.
I think you and I are saying the same thing In different ways. that's all.
Also, yeah. I'm just looking at waves in an ocean of posts and seeing unrelated patterns lol. Forget it.

>>19605233
Browned almost always means cooked with a dry heat to form a darker crust. The Maillard reaction. Not any form of cooking that results in a color change. I understand what you meant now, but nobody would really say a steak that was fully cooked by steaming until the color changes has been browned. Only a steak that was broiled, grilled, cooked in a hot pan, etc. is considered browned.

>>19605255
Context matters, and in context to the pale meat from the microwave other anon was pointed to, he likely meant "fully cooked", although generally speaking you are correct.
Outside of this context I would take it to mean the same.

>>19601763
I hope it gets to a point where it significantly impacts food sales and we start seeing corporate warfare between food companies and pharmaceutical companies, hiring mercenaries to perform industrial sabotage, assassinate high-level management, take workers prisoner etc.

>>19604987
>if you go to a pride parade

lol. wat?

Does anybody have the dino tendies screencaps? I believe that what they’re called. Please it’s seen so long since I’ve seen them and they’re so fucking good.

sorry anon for reposting it
>anon is in a bad mental state
>because in burger land he has to pay to get his trash removed from the street by the city
>anon complains rats bite him when he sleeps

>>19607370
damn, that's kinda sad. Too poor to afford garbage collection, is forced to live like this... unbelievable.

>>19599422
Does anyone have that screencap of that hoarder anon who microwaved 5 year old sour cream?

>>19607370
I wish I could help this guy. Here, we do "dump runs" filling up a truck with trash and recycling, the bring it down to the landfill/recycling center. It costs $20 to $35 dollars on average. If you have a shed, you can stack up trash for a year, and just pay that one time.
Poor guy probably doesn't even have that option though... grim.

>>19607370
beatings and torture are the way to cure this sick fuckery. Vicious beatings. And humiliation.
If I had a kid who was anywhere near this bad I'd whip them in the face with a belt until their head looked like a plum.

>>19607417
here ya go

>>19599469
sure, but why is it on hay?

>>19607370
i remember that thread. yeah he said he slept in his car because mice would bite him in his sleep

>>19599664
A classic. Haven't seen it in a while and my teeth hurt just reading everything that goes into it

>>19599478
vegans are mentally ill

>>19607532
ty anon. Lost thid on my HDD. This will complete my /ck/ collection for good.

>>19607268
i got some but they're small for some reason

>>19607268

>>19601949
No it isn't, what the fuck are you talking about?
We have like, Marmalade and some other sweet gammon things but noone cooks their christmas ham in coke

Like, now we have pulled pork and stuff because it got imported from America and I've seen recipes with coke used, but noone is cooking pork in coke for Christmas.

>>19602645
Keeeeek I forgot about this one

>>19599628
i want to see the drawing under the chicken

>>19608628
me and who

>>19599654
>The vat with the poo starts to smell incredibly strongly of feces
I wouldn't have guessed.

>>19599654
>korean_jenkem.jpg

>>19607202
The recipe is correct he's a retard for boiling it for 5 hours.

>>19607370
>>because in burger land he has to pay to get his trash removed from the street by the city
this can't be true, what? Like how much?

>>19599659
Wife material.

>>19599673
Why wouldn't this work? Serious answers only

>>19607202
can a physics anon explain this? if the can exploded get how the pot could break the glass below it, but how does it make the pot fly up to the ceiling?

>>19609940
it works but it gives you aids

>>19609940
Mixing salt and vinegar produces heat and yelling produces heat. The temperature of the atmosphere increased which goes into the coffee. It does work.

>>19604855
/fit/ or /mlp/?

>>19609924
...is trash removal not usually a thing that costs money in other countries? you pay a small amount and the garbage truck comes by once a week to pick up your trash that you put out in a bin on the curb

>>19609924
>like how much?
just looked it up in my area and it's $90 a quarter (i live in a relatively low cost of living place)

>>19601787
I don't get it...
Why recipe asks for 2 1/4 cups instead of 1/2 cup of flour and how OP fucked up if he added 2 1/4 cups of flour?

>>19609991
P.s. if recipe meant 2.25 cups of flour, it's kinda dumb. What a 0.25 cup of flour would do? Or maybe tweak recipe for 2 cups of flour?
I hate cooking measuring units btw. You can tell it's tweaked for women.

>>19609991
...the OP was using a measuring cup that measures 1/4 of a cup. the recipe called for 2 1/4 cups (a mixed number, if you're familiar with the finer points of elementary arithmetic), meaning 2 full cups and 1/4 cup. he mistakenly thought it (somehow?) meant it was calling for 2/4 cups. he used 1/2 a cup of flour when he should have used 2 1/4.

>>19602645
I see no issue with this. I do this in my head all the time. Except I come up with all outcomes I can think off and not just when ordering pizza.

>>19602645
>4.) Say: "Ummm, do you have any dips? or chicken wings too?"
he cute :3

>>19609955
Not a physics expert, but it "bounced" off the stove.
When pot exploded it applied force to the stove and the stove applied equivalent force to the pot and sent it flying.

>>19609964
Sensible kek

>>19599474
I remember being in an after school program as a kid and we did this, but with these cookies that were almost like crackers. Pretty grim time.

>>19604819
You are the retard here anon, what he means is that he does not have telepathy so how would he possibly know why OP used such a stupid way to thaw his meat

>>19607370
Dude it's like 10 bucks a month. He has internet and looks like he orders fast food every day. He's a stupid retard and a hoarder, not a poorfag.

>>19609969
>/mlp/
/fit/ is weird but not hey eating weird

>>19610865
i mean it could be good

>>19610881
It's the kind of thing you have to be pretty fat to think of

>>19609924
It's like $50/mo for trash and recycling in Southern California. People just treat it like any other utility.

>>19610865
Seems like it'd be decent, just needs onions and mustard

>>19609971
In most sane countries, trash removal is organized and paid for by the city or township via taxes.

The US doesn't do this so they can chest thump about MUH LOW TAXES but end up spending the same or more in fees.

>>19610943
Cheese and bacon and sausage is an egg short of a good breakfast.

>>19610990
and then when these private companies go bankrupt the city puts their own men on the trash routes taking way longer and depriving the city of the little human resources they have.

>>19610996
It's more the combining different foodstuffs into a singular item that is the mark of the fat person. A normal person would have bacon and sausages on a plate and grate some cheese over them.

>>19610990
Refuse collection is paid for by tax where I live but I don't see why logically it should be different from a utility. I guess the reasoning is it stops people fly-tipping if they're paying for the collection through tax anyway.

>>19610865
Gas stations in Norway sell something quite similar. Cheese stuffed wiener sausage, wrapped in crispy bacon. It's literally S+ tier goyslop, probably the best food you can buy at a gas station anywhere in the world.

>>19599422

>>19599999

>>19599735
I miss when 4chan was like this

>>19610990
Are you a retard European? The US is a massive place and you can't make a sweeping generalization like that. I live in South Carolina and my property taxes pay for the waste and recycling collection done by the city.

>>19600680
grimy food

>>19602907
it's a reference to the movie "Cool Hand Luke". 50 eggs is the benchmark number of eggs that are unreasonable for any human to eat in one sitting

>>19611761
Here is the thread if anyone is interested.
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/60542742/

>>19609995
>mistakenly thought it (somehow?)
It literally says two 1/4 cups

>>19611789
If it meant two 1/4 cups then it would just say 1/2 cup.

I always found that to be a problem when writing recipes though and would be careful to not confuse anyone. It should say something like "2 and 1/4 cups".

>>19599422
rate my soup...

>>19611875
Uma delicia

>>19611875
why would you make a borzoi soup in the middle of summer?

>>19599422
can someone post better quality of op I know it exists

can't believe I get to post it first

>>19602645
I unironically did this when I had agoraphobia levels of social anxiety and was full hikki, about ten or twelve years ago too

I hope my brother is doing well

>>19612266
gonna need some context there champ

>>19612319
some anon's shit soup. It was roasted onion and bell pepper puree with shredded pork and queso fresco. I should have saved the horrid prep pictures.

>>19612257

and, for contrast, here's lobster virgin.

>>19612386
that honestly sounds good

>>19612414
fuck its already been 2 years

Ceci n'est pas nourriture.

>>19612392
based ty

>>19612415
it was wretched

>>19612414
>>19612419
Here is the finished product in case you were wondering.

>>19612422
I tried simulate chicken nuggets the other day and they're dogshit
I bought 4 different kinds of fake meat nuggets and they were the worst by far
Morning star has the best

>>19611875
Sopa de cachorro uma delicia caralho

>>19605073
Literally the exact opposite lmao

>>19599664

>>19599478
It's just beans and toast and cucumber, it's not a big deal and probably tastes pretty good but I would replace the white bread with whole wheat and replace the baked beans with black or dark red kidney beans and probably add some tofu

>>19608122
>vegans are mentally ill
People who unconditionally think vegans are mentally ill are mentally ill hypocrites.

>>19600666
I love boiling eggs in raw sewage

>>19612521
i was there

>>19607576
cookin out in the barn on account of the old lady dont like blue flavored shit

>>19599735
cant even breathe looking at this

>>19610111
he was getting government bux and spending it all on pizza

>>19611815
maybe just write "2.25 cups" or even (god help us) just use the fucking metric system.

>>19612266
Is it puke?

>>19612407
>>19612411
>>19612417
>>19612414

Not reading all these, someone tldr and highlight comedic value for each please.

>>19612419
What the FUCK I thought that was like a few months back.

>>19613459
>canadian lunatic is so offended by OP's aborted attempt at lobster that he goes out to buy his very own lobster, rails dexamphetamine, fires a gun into a pot and pumps weights before suddenly shitting out a perfect lobster ravioli out of fucking nowhere; is rightly immortalised for his talents
>cleat-wearing lunatic attempts to impress a date by melting condoms into biscuits and boiling lobsters for her, one of which makes a break for freedom before getting cleated into the fucking floor, followed by the immortal line "bon appetit, wanna fuck?"
>anon purchases the finest nippon soy sauce (folded over nine thousand times) and attempts to impress the peanut gallery by delivering a series of timestamped glamour shots of the bottle; fails miserably
>Anon bakes a loaf in the exact shape and perfect classical proportions of nikocado's egregious crevice; gets pruned or deleted for his efforts

>>19611789
>>19609991
>>19609993

filtered out of baking by your autism. literally billions of people could follow this recipe successfully

>>19601763
you should try tirzepatide.

>>19609955
Most likely the stove was broken after the pot fell back down from the ceiling. When the explosion happened, the pot exerts force to the stove and the stove exerts an equal amount of force to the pot. In this kind of scenario, the object with smaller mass gets affected in the way that it causes it to move. Similarly in head on collision with a truck and a car, the car bounces back, assuming that it doesn't get stuck. Here the force was much greater to that scenario relative to the masses of the objects, which is why this happened in such a violent manner.

>>19608892
I can ALMOST guarantee it's Schrodinger playing the piano with Snoopy dancing on top of it.
Strangely, these plates seem to be from another timeline...

>>19610943
or high

>>19607202
That fucking perfect circular hole never fails to crack me up.
>>19609955
I always assumed anon had left that lid that's to the left of the pot resting on top and that's what got fired into the ceiling, given the size and the sharp edge on it, and he just forgot that he'd put the lid on.

>>19613974
You're right, every action has an equal and opposite reaction according to Newton's third law of motion.

>>19599422

>>19608628
All i have is imgur albums
https://imgur.com/a/oxIgn
https://imgur.com/a/MauHG
https://imgur.com/gallery/RZsKZ

>>19600680
I think I've seen this in RE7

>>19599625
>>19600868

>>19616208
I remember that episode of Cowboy Bebop.

>>19616727
pretty sure that's akira mate