/ck/ - Food & Cooking

she's gaining weight and i like it >:)

>>19401695
She's much better than me desu, but I will never admit that to her although we both know it. She pretends I'm very good too, which is nice of her.

>>19401697
why wouldn't you admit it? seems cruel

>>19401701
its some sick cutesy game people play in relationships, i dont get it either

>>19401695
None, because I am an unlovable husk and eternal disappointment. But I would shed manly tears... if a kind and noble lady spontaneously brought me a ham & cheese sandwich, with potato chips and a pickle... on a paper plate, with a paper napkin... and perchance a can of yon cheapest lager beer, and she kissed me on the forehead, and giggled as she said, "Are you going to post it again, anon? Are you going to post The Coinslot?" And the sandwich would give me strength and resolve, and the promise of her sweet smile and girlish glee and wifely pride would give me fortitude to struggle through yet another Captcha, and finally click the "Post" button, and I would gladly endure the 3-day unappealable ban as I smacked my lips upon yon savory potato chips and quaffed that cold beer, as my lady sat upon my lap in the computer chair in the dark wee hours, and we laughed, oh how we laughed together at the thought of a lonely, malding 4channel janitor in cyberspace, doing it all for free.

But it is not to be. It... is not to be.

Captcha: DIEALON

>>19401695
LOL is that pic 10 years old? She's gotta be 250 lbs by now. Please don't tell me this is the same autist who posted her every day back in 2017-2018

>>19401696

im gay

>>19401695
Genovese pasta
Mapo tofu
Korean beer dishes
bibimbap
Japanese curry
Real ramen (not sinstant shit)
Soba/Udon/Somen
Gratine with nice cheese
Some brazilian mini cheese breads i can't remember the name of
Yaki-onigiri
Eggs benedict

My wife can cook a ton of shit well and I love it. I can make

burgers
butter chicken
various stews
tandoori chicken
kebob
the best omelets
more i guess but i can't remember

pic related it's my wife and first child four years ago, my life is better than yours

>>19401725
You wouldn't' want her to cook for you? she's a good cook and a good woman.

>>19401741
why are you posting your baby on 4chan you freak?

>>19401745
All babies look the same nigger it doesn't matter

She looks different after 4 years anyway kek

>>19401741
I can't believe you'd post a picture of a loved one on 4chan of all places. I hope you've told her and that you're just as willing to post a picture of yourself.

>>19401701
>>19401712
I'm proud

>>19401741
Your wife and daughter are very pretty, anon. There's nothing quite so nice as to cook good meals for one another.

>>19401741
How's life as a chairforce officer in Okinawa treating you?

PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP

>>19401780
This thread will die and noone will care, she posted a post-workout retarded flexing danceme on niconico once without telling me and i don't give a fuck

>>19401787
I'm a software engineer and I'm not even American, nor could I handle the hot shit weather in Okinawa.

>>19401786
Thanks fren, I agree. I hope everyone in this thread has the same kind of experience.

>>19401695
She is very good and puts up with me buying offal all the time.

>>19401790
Fixed that for you
FRAP FRAP FRAP FRAP FRAP

>>19401780
And in good faith here's me, this is the only pic I've ever posted and will ever post of myself on 4chan, enjoy

>>19401743
>that dream where your grandmother's couch becomes sentient and tries to seduce you
NO NO NO NO NOT AGAIN

>>19401794
Damn, well shit good for you anon. Honestly wasn't expecting such a straight answer to my smarty pants question. Take care wherever you are, along with your significant lady.

>>19401820
Thanks anon, you too. I hope we can all find a cute waifu to cook with.

>>19401806
I don't care. Stop shitting up my thread you weird looking gyno freak. Fuck off.

>>19401806
I'm just a gigalo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN-4lX0QyZc
Live on Dave TV with karasma

>>19401844
Noone else is posting because OP made this thread to make people feel bad about being single because he's a faggot.

If you don't like my nipples, look at something else instead. I don't have gyno btw kek, if it looks like gyno it's a bad angle but noone has any idea what you're talking about schizo

Trini food. Yes unless she tries to cook non-Trini food.

Frozen fish filets and Mac and cheese last night. Yeah she’s a GREAT cook

>>19401696
>>19401734
>>19401743

I used to make pizza's with my ex. They sucked. As did she.

Cooking is fun. I cook, she does the dishes.

She's bakes really good bread though

>>19401738
So? These bottoms need to be put to work too

>>19401806
You look good, how much you charge?

My wife is not a good cook... and when she does cook I even just walk past the kitchen she attacks me and accuses me of judging her cooking.

She's right. I just humor her.

>>19401806
Based wmaf dadchad poster dabbing on ck trannies

>>19402057
I've seen him before, he's a known male prostitute. He advertises himself on /hm/ and /lgbt/ to all the fags and trannies

>>19401695
Nothing because I do all the cooking because I'm flat out better at it. She did start fermenting some kimchi last week though and now my entire downstairs of my house smells like fermenting kimchi.

>>19402053
You cant fool me, that's chef boy ar dee with beefaroni

>>19402053

Let me give you some personal insight on the matter.

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant.
She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>19402102
The only thing that screams of is copy pasta and faggotry

>>19402107
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

There is nothing she can cook that I can't cook better. Her specialty used to be Spanish lentil stew but I make it better than her so she's resigned herself from making it. Every woman I've dated has been a pretty terrible cook with the exception of some who were only good at baking. They generally don't use recipes and if they do, use them as a loose guideline even though they don't have the skill to cook on the fly and end up cooking something completely inedible.

>>19401695
I have not felt the touch of a woman in 14 years. I spend my days toiling in agony, praying for a quick death, and I have no energy left over to be sociable with anybody, let alone a nagging lady who demands more from me. I'm just so tired...

>>19402111
>>19402115
>>19402112
I go Mongo level and drag them into my cave and have my way. What's the big deal?

GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT

>>19402128
isn't that some stupid beatles song, get preggo get preggo often and pump em out?

I do most of the cooking because I work from home anyways, but I also enjoy it.
When my wife does cook it usually involves more from-scratch stuff I don't have the patience for. The general rule is I cook, she bakes.

>>19402128
Get with the frequency Dave

>>19401748
>pipe.jpg

>>19401695
my finacee never cooks. the most she can do is like eggs, buttered noodles, or mac and cheese from the box.

I can't blame her though. Her mom never taught her how to cook. The last time we visited for dinner, her mother burned the spaghetti. I am not even joking, the noodles were clumped together and one end was burned. She had to use SCISSORS to cut off the burnt part of the spaghetti to serve it to us.
So... anyways I do almost all the cooking in the house (which is fine because I actually love to cook and bake) or we just order delivery quite often as well lol.

>>19401695
no and i only eat ribeye which i grill every night

>>19402163
she sounds totally useless and you sound like a simp. does this woman who can't perform a basic life skill like preparing food at least have big tits?

>>19402063
lol fuck off this isn't true at all

>>19401695
>tfw no chubby Jewish gf with big milkers to make me dinner and nag me every other day
feels bad man

I do the cooking in our house because I like it and I'm better at making just about everything. My wife does the grocery shopping and 80% of the cleaning. It works wonderfully. That said, she makes the best white chicken chili ever and I have no idea how/why it turns out so well because her ingredients are just what we have in the pantry.

>>19401809
Imagine being an 18 year old virgin, fresh from reddit, coming here, thinking you've discovered someone special, jerking off to her 4/10 face 4x a day, then posting her here, only to find out the pic is old, she's 56 years old now, and doesn't even cook anymore

>>19401695
One time I was driving in Greenwich village stuck in traffic and I turned and saw Claire standing on the sidewalk right next to me

>>19402102
the reddit spacing ruined the pasta

No, I cook for her instead, and I cook with love

She recently had a tooth extraction, so i made a roasted butternut squash (+roasted carrot, roasted onion, roasted garlic) puree for her, with some middle eastern spices, plus a savoury roasted sweet potato puree with cinnamon, tahini, lots of sea salt, and a knob of ginger

the butternut squash puree was made with a very concentrated chicken stock, and i addeed an additional 30g worth of collagen powder to each to make sure she was getting enough protein while not being able to chew much (she can't consume milk products for a week)

here are also some chai spiced blondies i made 2 weeks ago, and she loved those as well

>>19401695
the grey hair is so unattractive, anyone else?

>>19402925
imagine being this much of a cuck
do you also cook for her boyfriend?

>>19401695
I have never dated a woman that could cook decently at all. Pretty much take out or simple crappy recipes. Coincidently I have never dated a woman that was good with money either.

>>19401695
>What kind of food does your wife/gf cook for you?
I've never had a good meal cooked by either.
>Is she a good cook?
Except for both my grandmothers, I've never met a woman who was a good cook.

>>19401806
>the only pic I've ever posted
That's funny, I'm pretty sure this is you.

>>19401695
My wife knows a few recipes, but unfortunately I'm far better then her, that means that I cook in almost all 'special dinners'.
It's a shame cause I taught so much and she does has a good hand for cooking in general but he doesn't really wants to improve or to train her cooking more.
if it was up to her we would eat the same boring stuff everyday.

>>19402075
>my entire downstairs of my house smells like fermenting kimchi
My sympathies.
My Grandmother used to make home-made sauerkraut.
Nasty. I like sauerkraut, but fuck's sake, just open a can, I don't need to have the house smell like a hundred mutant cats pissed all over everything.

>>19401695
Bold of you to assume I have one

>>19402927
if anything it makes her hotter to me

I miss her. It’s over one year now.

>easily the best cook ok BA
>calls out racism when she sees it
>dismantles an exploitative company single handedly
>dabs on fat claire, ugly molly, border jumper gabby, closet case chris, and braindead brad

D-D-D-D-D-DA-DORRA!!

>>19403700
Only Godzilla owns dora the explora

>>19403700
Don't forget Claudia Christian, she has published cook books.

>>19403700
she talks like a little girl, but shes a deranged, hateful communist
her tattoos are fucking disgusting as well
such a gross person

>>19404041
then why do you watch her?
one look at her and i wouldnt even click. lmfao ur gross.

:( *hangs self from loneliness*

rack of lamb, asparagus, potatoes medley hot n ready

>>19403700
Molly's not ugly, shes just a spoiled princess with no hips.

>>19404157
Truly, a gorgeous woman

>>19404330
Truly, a gorgeous woman

>>19403014
When i had a moustache i kind of looked like that but with a more jewish nose

>>19402925
An actual loving human being on 4chan
An actual cook on /ck/
Have a great rest of your life anon

>>19404335
Hated her more than any other white person on there. The darker color ones were all terrible.

>>19402929
Cooking is a male domain
Cook for your women, Anon
Let the clean up

>>19404440

>>19401695
we cook meals together sometimes, she bakes me things and I do most of the cooking

>>19404440
>cooking is a male domain
No it’s not you gorilla

>>19404041
I can fix her

>>19404510
Men are better cooks, better bakers, smarter chefs
Are you afraid of getting your hands dirty?
Also if you cook you decide what's for dinner every time

I barely trust that bitch with my dick let alone a knife.

>>19401695
She makes a lot of sort of generic comfort food. She’s just okay at cooking but recently started getting hello fresh while i recover from a surgery.
I honestly think the hello fresh is helping her learn to cook and even though she has goofed up on two of them, i still tell her it’s the best food ive eaten all day because she does a lot and i love my wife

>>19404720
My wife can tell when I am lying. Is yours just dumb and oblivious?

>>19401695
>tfw no dumpy jewess baker gf
feels bad man

>>19401696
anon who wrote this back again, last night i masturbated to her and tonight im going to do so again god i hope she gets even bigger

>>19401696
i stumbled across one of her early vids the other day when she was young and thin and dang, she could get it

>>19401721
Thank you, anon.

i am the gf and i do most of the cooking. it's one of my favorite things to do so i'm happy to share the results/love with my bf. he was pretty coddled kitchen-wise growing up so i've been trying to involve him more in the cooking process

>he'll cut up chicken
>cut veg/dice stuff
>do basic stuff like stir and flip stuff in pans
>empties dishwasher/fills it
>or just straight up washes dishes

it's really appreciated and i love him so much for it! i had an idea to have him come up with something he wants to learn to make, no matter how basic or extravagant. he hasn't come up with anything but i suggested starting with something simple like jap curry. i got all the ingredients, i'm just gonna have him cook it tonight (?) and i'll just give directions.

>>19404440
post your gf's bf's dick or it's not true

>>19403700
MY QUEEN MY QUEEN MY QUEEN

>>19405758
when ur ready to upgrade, ill take u with open arms

>>19401806
>"we're not at the beach"

>>19404440
>Cooking is a male domain
Can't argue with that, all the best chef's in the world are men
But most of the meals i remember are my mom's

Making tempered chocolate with Claire!
Squeezing Claire's muffin top!
Rubbing my pelvis on Claire's hip!
Leaving a wet spot on Claire's sweatpants!
Being accused of sexual harassment by Claire!
Getting called into HR because of Claire's complaint!
Demanding arbitration in order to keep from losing my job!
Following Claire home!
Climbing up Claire's fire escape!
Entering Claire's unlocked apartment window!
Putting my hand on Claire's mouth and telling her not to fucking scream!
Whispering into Claire's ear that her boyfriend won't save her this time!
Dragging Claire into the kitchen so I can show her boyfriend's blood-soaked corpse!
Running my hand along Claire's bloated leg!
Caressing Claire's spongy inner thigh!
Petting Claire's hair as she shudders with fear!
Wiping away Claire's tears with my tongue!
Slathering my throbbing cock on Claire's pancake tits!
Plunging my member into Claire's dry cunt!
Raping Claire!
Punching Claire until she starts twitching when she tries to escape!
Lubricating Claire's pussy with the blood oozing from her jaw!
Reaching climax with Claire!
Unloading my gentile seed into Claire's ruined womb!
Getting bored of Claire!
Stabbing Claire 35 times with a chef's knife!
Disemboweling Claire!
Chopping Claire's body into chunks!
Grinding Claire's chunks!
Storing Claire's remains in my freezer!
Eating Claireburgers once a week!
Receiving a letter from HR that arbitration has been canceled and all charges dropped because Claire no-showed to her interview appointment!
Comforting Molly in the test kitchen when she wonders what happened to Claire!
Reassuring Molly that Claire is fine and will come back any day!
Making tempered chocolate with Molly!

>>19405693
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_B0ZKVrJOE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMYRjp4h0y0
Too bad she pulled the pin on the fat grenade

>>19407682
>tfw no cute cook gf to grow old and fat with

>>19401695
I miss my ex. She was a good cook, and she cooked all the time.
I'd come home from work to the smell of dinner being cooked almost every night. During the holidays if we were hosting she would go over the top just to put the women in my family to shame. I should have proposed while I had the chance.

>>19402927
Salt and pepper gilfs are the best.

>>19406183
"this is bathtub, lady"

>>19407682
If only she had the white streak on that soup dumpling thumbnail.

>>19407682
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMYRjp4h0y0 [Remove]
Neve4 seen her befo5e, bu the sound of her voice makes me want to take an axe handle to her face.

Absolute slampig braphog

>>19407816
she said in an interview once that she intentionally grew out that white streak as some kind of "owning the tradbros" statement of female empowerment, as if there was a single straight guy who didn't like the streak

>>19401696
i used to jerk off to her daily after school then i realized she looks exactly like my much older cousins wife so now i jerk off to both of them

>>19403700
why did you post an image of lord farquad

>>19408195
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHWsjdp7H7c
here's her most recent video from today (filmed a few months ago)

Absolute fat oinkjew goyslut

>>19401806
You take baths?

>>19403736
Kek I love when reality formulates perfect jokes like this, every detail is 10/10

My wife is an ok baker since she can follow a recipe like any retard could. She can't cook though and has zero sense of seasoning and flavors when making something. Even our kids know and tell her that daddy is a much better cook and they like it better when I make dinners, which is true. I am a much better cook than her and can make a shit ton more dishes than what she could even comprehend.

>>19401806
You couldn't get a prettier asian with that face? If you aren't like 5 feet tall life sucks so hard for men goddamn.

>>19402121
its "mongo only pawn in game of life"

>>19408566
You're such a fucking loser

>>19408729
i think the main problem is girls learning to cook wrong and cut corners from a very young age

>>19408873
post tits

>>19408873
yeah fr u post wall chickpea.

>>19408881
>>19408884
Braindead coomers who will stay alone forever

>>19408887
yes and?

>>19408653
Her transformation into a grotesque, fat middle aged yenta harpy is nearly complete. She looks like she weighs more than a linebacker.

>>19408896
Just know your place as bottom of the barrel trash

>>19408902
Why don't you get a horse and live in a church or some place and don't bother anybody?

>>19401695
*plap* *plap*
Thrusting in and out of Claire’s fat Jewish pussy!
*plap* *plap*
Watching her folds jiggle with each thrust!
*plap* *plap*
Intentionally trying to get Claire pregnant with my Gentile seed!
*plap* *plap*

>>19408926
I would love to

>>19408939
>Jewish
she eats bacon

>>19408939
idiot, claire isn't jewish, she's a professional baker, a jew would never find themselves on THAT side of an oven

>>19409089
We talked about this, Carlos.

>>19408939
She's a jewess? Always assumed she was French
Then again, she is in the media

>>19401721
KEK!
Be well, BE BETTER..
YOU can change YOUR world..
https://youtu.be/6jJkdRaa04g

>>19408862
It's: "Mongo only PAWN...
...In game of life."
https://youtu.be/SKRma7PDW10

Claire is NOT for sex. Stop thinking impure thoughts you degenerates.

How do I get my gf into cooking?

>>19406576
Truly Sociopatic Pasta..
>ScreenCapp'd

>>19408878
The problem with her isn't so much cutting corners, it's that her parents are not great cooks but like to think they are, like boiling dry pasta and jarred tomato sauce for the 3rd time this week is a culinary achievement. She also knows she can't compete with me and will sling out mediocre food when I'm unavailable to make a proper meal.

>>19402102
Trumptards truly are the scum of the earth.

>>19409454
Newfag

>>19403736
>gamers, coders, freaks and geeks
>freaks and geeks
>freaks

>>19403014
Is that a John Waters toilet?

>>19401695
I don't let my wife cook a fucking thing. She's not allowed in my kitchen or to do the grocery shopping.
She can make a recommendation for a menu if she wants but she conforms to our familys diet.
She should be doing laundry and taking care of the kids. Not the tv or electronics.

>>19408694
It's a private onsen near the sea, there's a view of the beach from that terrace the tub is on

>>19408736
I married her for her personality and cooking, she's perfectly fine. She was fat when I met her and lost weight while we were dating after seeing me workout 4x a week.

I dated supposedly "prettier" girls before and they were all cunts so fuck that.

sage because unrelated to cooking

>>19401721
>>>/r9k/

>>19410182
BASED polite saaah Gayyy-er
THIS is how you do it Boys.

>>19405758
Poast ur girl dick

>>19408566
unfathomably based coomer

>>19401806

>>19401695
>wife/gf
I don't have that, but I cook for relatives.
>[Am I] a good cook?
No, but not a bad one, neither. They like freshly baked bread and cookies, so that helps.
>>19401696
Man of taste right here. She's happy, she's where she wants to be and that sweet, juicy plumpness keeps going up by the week:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN_fd2j7hx4
All she needs is a kid (mine) growing insid eher.

>>19402927
Imagine being this gay

>>19401741
what a disgusting creature.

>>19410269
Poor girl needs to stop taste testing her food and leave some for other people.
Does anyone have the books she recommends or her books mentioned in the video? Any good?

>>19410236
don't put plebbit filenames on my picture please

>>19410293
fuck you nigger

>>19410269
that unflattering apron she always wears makes her look extra babuschka-esque, like she spent the morning harvesting beets and cabbage

>>19410416
I have both her books. Personally, I prefer Dessert Person as it's more fpcused on baking and includes a number of savory recipes as well. What's for Dessert has some neat-looking recipes as well, but many of them don't use an oven at all and/or are not to my taste.

>>19401806
chad

>>19410575

>>19411377
kek