/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17906961
I fucking hate this more than anything. No one reads the shitty story but they still post it.

>>17906961
That's on you for needing a tortilla recipe, fucking hell. Youre also missing an ingredient. Reminds me of my childhood really, visiting local taquerias with my dad. He would go somewhere for business and on the way back we would find some hole in the mexican joint, those are always the best. I would get tacos, flautas, burritos, most everything. My favorite was simply beans and tortillas though. I didn't know that as i ripped apart the tortillas to dip into my beans, that those simple times would be ripped away from me just the same. As i got older I would have more responsibilities and those trips would be fewer and fewer. Just as the lard in the tortillas was the secret for their ample flavor, it was hiidden from me that the times with my father is what i would miss more than the food. These days we still get lunch when we both can, usually at some hole in the wall mexican joint, and let me tell you, those lunches are always the best.

>>17906961
>What is up with recipes on the internet having a long ass back story before getting to the actual recipe?
literally women and/or failed journalists that get hired for recipe websites.
you're taught in journalism school to add spin to everything.
they're too stupid to realize that recipes don't need spin because women have no agency.

>>17906961
wordcount + buzzwords + algorithm = search results

>>17906961
How many times are we going to have this retarded ass thread?
scroll down to the recipe you retarded fucking zoomer. Holy shit. How helpless are you?

>>17906999
God you're retarded.
It's not 'much women' or a spin, it's purely for SEO and rankings.

>>17907016
>scroll down to the recipe
What if they don't even list the ingredients and you have to get the ingredients from reading the blog.

>>17907020
And it makes me want yo beat the woman who do that shit I hope they die and I hope you die to fuck you.

>>17907024
You sound like a stable individual.
Ever cross your mind men can write them too?

>>17906961
>open link
>first thing I see isn't an ingredient list
>press back button
Simple as.

>>17907034
~90% of the time the writer’s name is given. ~80% of the time I can accurately tell if a man or woman wrote something longer than, say, 2 paragraphs. The longer it is the more likely I will guess correctly. Women are absolutely more prone to purple prose and typically just have “a way” of writing in general. You can tell their thoughts are prioritized differently and pretending this isn’t true is just retarded, anti-reality, and insufferably blue pilled anon.

>>17906961
Like almost anything online today, if you're asking "Why?" the answer is most certainly to maximize advertising. So happy google and facebook are steering the ship of the entire internet and as a result all public discourse and narrative.

I do not see any potential downsides of maxxing all stats to feed google and facebook more money. None at all.

>>17907071
Kek I'm literally an ad agency editor for a living, but keep going on. 'anti-reality' my god you lot are hilarious.
Yes, because an author's name is true, and it hasn't been SEO optimised by other hands!
Yes, when I put my birth date as 1910 on a website, it's true, everything's true and should be taken at face value!
But carry on incel posting

>Ad space
>Unique websites are can be trade marked
>They're made for women who like stories
>The recipe is usually at the bottom

>>17907021
Stop cooking. Your retarded ass has no business around anything hot or sharp.

>>17907021
I've never seen one that does this

>>17907108
Also yes, the sweet innocent women who just wants to share her recipes and life story is somehow topping Google search results!
It's totally not like there's entire agencies (guess what, operate by men) behind these things.
Incels are so retarded.

>>17906961
When I was five years old, my dad took us on a trip to a cabbage farm.

I can still remember the large field covered with rotund protuberances that came out of the ground and were neatly arranged in rows; it was as if the earth were giving birth to hundreds of tiny earths, round as their mother, infants at the mercy of the elements of our ever-expanding universe.

On this trip we learned about sauerkraut, which is German for “sour cabbage”, and an important staple of German food culture. Sauerkraut is often used as an ingredient or served paired with sausages.

Frida, our tour guide, showed us how the cabbage was harvested, washed, cut, mixed with salt, and then crushed with the feet of several German matrons, as it was common in the past, a practice very similar to traditional wine-making.

During the ride back home I couldn’t stop thinking about the wonders of cabbage, and the endurance of the German people. As a food staple, sauerkraut has fed great Germans from Einstein to Heidi Klum. How many of these great people have had a portion of delicious sauerkraut right before embarking on some exciting world-changing activity?

The next day I asked my mom if we could please make some, but we didn’t have cabbage at home, and had to wait until next week. Suffice to say I was very disappointed by this, but since ‘good things come to those who wait’ I took this unexpected detour to learn more about this great topic, not just sauerkraut, but also how foodstuffs affect, shape, and propel a community’s way of life. I won’t bore you with that however, so we’re going to go straight into the recipe.

For sauerkraut you will need cabbage, a good cabbage, young and round, plump and supple, still having its green leaves attached, which become green due to exposure to sunlight. This cabbage should be the best it can be, it should be as free of any blemish as possible, but also hardy and strong, like the German people itself.

>>17907181
To start the process, which is called lacto-fermentation, you will need to remove the outer leaves of the cabbage. This can be done by taking hold of a single leaf and pulling towards the bottom of the cabbage head. Continue doing this until you find the first layer that reveal the interior of the cabbage.

After that, you have a few options on how to procede.

You can shred the cabbage with the help of a mandoline, but I don’t recommend this method as I know, from experience, of how dangerous it can be.

My aunt Maggie once sliced part of the palm of her hand when using a mandoline while thinly slicing potatoes for a casserole. There was blood everywhere and she was taken to the Emergency Room in order to get stitches. My cousins were very happy because they ate McDonald’s for dinner that day.

Your second option, and the one I recommend, is to cut the cabbage with a knife. Half the cabbage and place the flat side down on a cutting board, which must be large. Then make decisive cutting motions from the top to the bottom, and collect the shreds in another bowl. You can sing a little song while doing this to amuse yourself, but don’t get too carried away, otherwise you may end up cutting your hand like my aunt once did.

With the shredded cabbage in a bowl, add salt. Typically, you will need 2% of salt in comparison to the weight of your shredded cabbage. Yes, you will need a scale, but you can eyeball it. Just bear in mind that, for legal purposes, I’ve warned you about the amount of salt required, and that, if you end up harmed or, in any way, ill, I cannot be held responsible for what happens to you.

They put as many buzzwords in there to be higher in the google search algorithm and it allows websites to have more space for ads

you're probably based and use ad blocker.

if you are not you would know why there are 3-6 paragraphs before you get to anything useful. it's because they can jam an ad into each of those spaces and so you'll give them like 4-5 ad views before you even get to what you want.

>>17907184
With both of your hands, massage the cabbage so as to distribute the salt and initiate the “sweating” portion of our journey. Cover the bowl in which you are making your sauerkraut, and leave it alone for about 2 hours. In the meantime, you can clean up the mess.

When the time has come, give another massage to your cabbage, squeezing it between both your hands in order to break down the cells and release more moisture. Leave it alone again for 2 hours.

By the end of it all, you should be starting to develop some serious muscles, but pay no attention if your neighbours start talking about how you’ve decided to transition into a man.

Pack the cabbage very tightly inside of glass jars and cover with the brine it made while being manhandled by your delicate hands. Place a cloth on top to keep away any flies and leave it in a cool and dark place for 7 to 10 days, or until the sauerkraut has developed your desired level of sourness. After that, refrigerate and enjoy!

>>17906961
Foodwishes.com

>>17906961
>What is up with recipes on the internet having a long ass back story before getting to the actual recipe?
>And worse, some don't even list ingredients they expect you to read through the whole damn blog to decipher some fucking code to get the ingredients.
Most of the good recipe blogs have a feature built into the page that lets you jump straight to the formatted recipe. And for others there is an extension you can try:
https://lifehacker.com/skip-straight-to-the-recipe-with-this-chrome-extension-1833154922
You can also try this newer script:
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/jump-to-recipe/gmkblbmghnolinkhfmkidocbojcfiejm

>>17907181
>>17907184
>>17907191
I hate and admire you for this.

capitalism

Everyone is trying to increase their SEO, so they get more clicks on their recipe, so they get ads + money

I don't understand search engines. in the late 90s you could type in a word or phrase and it would give you websites that had that word or phrase. now it uses some voodoo to give you results that might not even be close to what you were looking for.

>it's 2022 and there are still people who don't know what SEO is

>>17906991
You forgot to post the recipe with your blog post

>>17907195
Praise be

>>17907072

>>17908060
OP very likely understands what SEO is but is being willfully ignorant for the sake of posting his inflammatory question so he can farm a bunch of responses from a bunch of other similarly retarded anons who will likely blame the Jews or some other minority. If you haven't learned how it works here by now then just move on. Dumb kike

>>17908063
the secret ingredient to tortillas is in it, thats all i am going to give op

>>17907108
>>17907126
Is this your AI that generates text that reads exactly like a butthurt virgin faggot? very impressive

>>17907034
Vagina detected opinion discarded

>>17908158
I don't understand. explain it to me like I'm a mcchicken poster.

>>17906961
It's called SEO and it's fuckin cancer

more words = more google hits

>>17906961
Recipes aren't copyrightable, so if you want any sort of monetization then you need original content. plus they're sort of imitating the conversational style of earlier editions of Joy of Cooking, whether they know it or not.

anyway stop looking for recipes on momblogs if you don't want to read blogs.

>>17907021
find another recipe

>>17906961
They're blogging and using the recipe as a lure to get people to read their inane bullshit

>>17906961
that's just the way women are. the recipe is just color background for their blog post talking about themselves.

>>17906991
Holy fuck, took me like half way before I saw what you were doing. Good one

>>17906961
Playing the algorithm. Decent recipe sites provide a go to recipe button at the top

>>17909151
I don't get the reference. Will you enlighten me?

>>17906961
Because women write like 95% of them and the only thing women enjoy more than talking shit about other women is talking about themselves. God I hate women they are just for men’s sexual amusement

JUST TELL ME HOW TO MAKE TOAST

>>17909267
we get it, you're missing part of your penis

>>17906991
I got almost all the way through before I realized. Fuck you.

>>17909267
>asian elephants
>except the dick shot, which is an african elephant
It's like an an indian sending dick picks of an african to women he wants to fuck.

>>17907181
>>17907184
>>17907191

Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who actually read every single one of the stories from their favorite blogger.

That's why the SEO monster gives a shit. Those people click on ads, and buy from affiliate links. The primary consumer of this material are older women with nothing better to do. They enjoy it. They grew up reading books and long form.

>>17906991

>>17906961
the only people that are gonna buy crap from your shitty eshop after finding a recipe on the internet are dumb old white women that want stuff like that, autistic 4chan incels that want their recipe and nothing else will just give that money to a vtuber or onlyfans

>>17909731
I bet theyd get more business if they went the twitch-thot route

>>17907016
We've got better things to do.
We've got kids to feed (you)
We've got kids to take to school (you)
We've got rooms to clean (yours)
We've got trash to put in the bin (yours)
We've got trash to take out (yours)
We've got clothes to clean (yours)
And we love doing it as much as (you) do too.

So no, we're not scrolling and we're not reading threads.

>>17909801
You're talking about not having free time while posting on 4chan

>>17906961
The reason is so the page is longer and has more space to load in advertisements.

>>17906961
>"wahhhh I have to scroll down"
>"wahhhh I have to tap this button to jump to the recipe for me"
>"is that an... AD?!?! HELP POLICE I'M BEING RAPED!"
jfc grow up. 20+ years ago if you wanted a recipe you'd either needed to buy a cookbook (or check one out from your library) or clip one out of a magazine or newspaper with SCISSORS (AAAAHH SHARP! SCARY!!!). If zoomers were exposed to that kind of manual labor to get a recipe they would speed dial their psychotherapist and ask for an emergency triple dosage of anti-anxiety meds.

>>17906999
if you could not make it our problem that you're a loser and an asshole and that's why women don't like you and you're foreveralone, that would be great. keep your incel shit to yourself you fucking loser. (also please don't go to a school and shoot a bunch of kids. do us a favor and skip straight to the good part and just kill yourself)

>>17910104
20 years ago you joined a moms channel on IRC and got free recipes and sometimes pussy

>>17907013
Exactly anon. It's content for SEO