/ck/ - Food & Cooking

mcdonalds and diet coke, it's what rich people crave

What is this weird boomer shit of your boss coming to your house for dinner? Why don't you just go to a restaurant or a bar if you absolutely must socialize outside of work?

>>17536487
This.

>>17536488
He clearly lives inside a 1960s sitcom. There will be many shenanigans to be had.

STEAMED
HAMS

>>17536479
>Entree :
Salmon Tartare with Lime/Mint Vinaigrette
Fresh Oyster Platter

>Main Dish :
Filet Mignon topped with glazed Foie Gras and Caramelized Morels in Red Wine Sauce
Mashed Potatoes or Oven-Roasted Mash Potatoes with caramelized, casserole glazed veggies (carrots, green beans, asparagus etc)

>Cheese Platter
>Caviar or Tarama with Blini
>Jams and Confits
>Charcuterie Platter
>Red and White wine for Meat and Seafood
>Fruit and Nuts platter
>A good traditional baguette for cheese

For desert :
>Opera Cake(trust me on this one)
>Coffee and Cognac as digestives, end of meal round-up
>tobacco (optional) : have a few cigarillos/cigars to go with coffee, or some pipe tobacco

>>17536479
your boss is coming for a homecooked meal. serve him what you regularly eat and not pretentious shit.

>>17536519
unless you have the help cook this for you, this is the most ridiculous ass-kissing spread possible and will backfire unless your boss likes being patronized by yes-men

>>17536479
>Boss is coming over my place
?????????
That's so fucking weird.
Anyway, do some braised meat. Shortrib or beef shoulder, sear it off, saute veg, deglaze with wine and stock, add meat back in with veg and a bit of stock and simmer until tender
Serve with mashed potatoes and some sort of pan sauteed or steamed vegetables. Maybe some bread and butter.
Have a bottle of non-peaty scotch, some sort of popular mid-range bourbon, and a couple of wines.

>>17536634
What are you talking about?
>mincing salmon + making vinaigrette : 15 mins
>platting the rest of the shit : 30 mins
>the main takes :30 min prep, 1-2hrs cooking, keep warm, plate the rest in meantime
>set the table : 10 mins

All it takes is about 2hrs grocery shopping, then maybe 2hrs cooking tops. Just a half afternoon preparing for the dinner.
What backwards degenerate, low culture place you come from where you wouldn't work a half afternoon for a dinner guest?
Where I come from, the women would spend whole days in the kitchen if we had guest.
If you think preparing a meal like that where 80% of it is already pre-packaged (cheese, charcuterie, spreads, bread, jams, fruits/nuts) and just needs plating is ''hard work'' or ''ass-busting'' then KEK...wow you must really be a lazy fuck. Are you an american by any chance?
No wonder your country is a soulless place. No sense of hospitality at all. You probably never have guests. In my country, it's a pleasure, often even a competition as to who will be the better guest, a game where everyone benefits in good food and good times...Good luck with that work ethic of yours.

>>17536479
steamed hams

>>17536673
calm down autismo, I didn't say anything about it being hard work, I was mostly making fun of you for serving shit like "Filet Mignon topped with glazed Foie Gras and Caramelized Morels in Red Wine Sauce" like you're larping as a highbrow politician or michelin chef

>>17536623
>your boss is coming for a homecooked meal. serve him what you regularly eat and not pretentious shit.
sounds like his boss wants cock

who the fuck goes to your subourdinates for a home cooked meal? that's a fucking lawsuit and :fagmetoo: waiting to happen

>>17536682
Face it. He blew you the fuck out.

>>17536682
>LARPing
kek, this is my country's cuisine...the commoners eat this. For you, it might seem like a delicacy. For us its a 15 euro meal in a brasserie. You must come from a culture less place if you think eating good food is a sign of ''superiority'' or ''flexing''. Wow...imagine being MK Ultra'd by your society into thinking eating good food is a sign of classism. Man, they really pulled a number on your people. Talk about crabs in a bucket mentality.

''I can't eat that good stuff, now people will think I'm trying to act superior to them'' WOW actual broke buck slave mentality
>america, not even once

>>17536673
>two hours grocery shopping
Wat

I'm getting really good ideas out of you all arguing, keep at it bros I'm halfway there with the menu
>Deserts posted above do seem kino

>>17536744
Takes around an hour's worth of sitting in the parking lot to get over the crippling social anxiety and then another half hour afterwards to calm down.

>>17536744
you have to take into account the different stuff.
For me, I would go to specialized stores for cheese, the butchery, then get the cake from a bakery, then walk to the tobacco seller to get some cigarillos, etc. Pick up the rest from grocery store...It's just that it would take me this long because I would walk in my neighborhood getting the stuff, from different stores.
Just a product sourcing preference.
If you can find everything in the same ''shopping center'', then by all means, do you, it'll be quicker.

>>17536519
Your topped filet mignon is really resonating right now, might actually go for it.

Bev
Coke from 2 liter
Apps
Cheetos in a big bowl
Lil smokies in bbq sauce
Din
Spaghetti w bread sticks OR pizza
Dessert
Ice cream sandwiches

After dinner show off your Mario skills

Remember to be super excited about the menu

>>17536752
Also I would probably get into conversations with my butcher, the baker, the tobacco seller. I would ask questions on pairings, etc. Get advice, also tips on products I should try, learn about the new stuff on the shelves, etc.
I could also get tastings at the cheese section etc. When I do grocery, I also like to engage with the market, and expand my awareness of what's available. So I get into conversations.
Sometimes I also pick up an espresso from the bakery, and have a sit with cigarette and coffee on their front porch, a small break in the groceries. So yeah it takes time, but I also end up getting the best stuff in the neighborhood, because I know people.

>>17536752
>>17536768

Why not skip the dinner and suck his dick for that promotion

Sounds a lot easier than cooking

A nice lamb stew, perchance?

>>17536777
I'm sorry you have no neighborhood to speak of. The worst part is you probably do, but you've never thought about going into a store and talking to people about stuff, tasting it, trying it because for some reason you see it as a ''socially performative'' thing to even buy food, due to the political climate rot in your brain.
There's probably really cool artisans and food stores like bakeries, butcheries, creameries in your neighborhood right now, that you don't even know exist, or worse, you walk past it with a snooty judgmental face thinking ''look at all these snobs in there, I would never''. You've lost the plot.

broke buck mindset, ''its too good for me'' mindset

>>17536718
No one cares about your irrelevant country. You're all bugs to us. You don't matter.

>>17536815
>mfw this absurd amount of projection and pure fantasy in response to a post that didn't even contain any text
Feeling a little defensive, anon?

>>17536815
you come off like a poser faggot and your shits all retarded

>>17536718
>this is my country's cuisine...the commoners eat this. For you, it might seem like a delicacy. For us its a 15 euro meal in a brasserie.
you were already obviously a troll, but I'm a baguette and it's now even more obvious that you're a troll

>>17536825
kek yeah defensive of my neighborhood, my values and traditions
keep resorting to onomatopeia and laugh eructions, grug, to hide yourself under the veil of ignorance and secrecy...we all know what you're thinking.
You're the one that projected your insecurities when you said I was acting too big for my britches for cooking steak topped with poultry liver. In what world does that mean anything but the rotten brain of politically degenerate Americans?
So yes, I'm shaming you, I'm going in because you and the globohomo food industry needs to be shamed for what it's doing to people's cultures. You laughed when I said I walked in my neighborhood and dared talked to my local food producers. What's funny about that? Go ahead, explain why you found that funny?
If you ask me, your reaction was pathetic seeing as it indicated resentment and hatred.
Hence why I said, you could change your circumstances if you wanted to. Your mindset about food.
But you think you're justified here? In laughing at me, and deriding me for suggesting even talking about food to food sellers? before I buy it?
You have big issues if you think laughter is the right response to someone mentioning they ''talk'' to people. Go ahead, try and formulate an argument...Or will you go back to ideograms and implied passive-aggressiveness which you think is subtle shaming (''pointing finger'' ''ha ha''). The shame is on you. Talking bout projections...

>>17536839
You're from Paris, aren't you?
Try living in a place without Jews, then you would find these prices for the main course.

>>17536859
>You're from Paris, aren't you?
no

>>17536864
Then you're a city rat who probably lives in a soulless neighborhood where your local brasseries can jew people unashamedly because of the constant flux of tourists/new faces and don't care about their local community.
Where I live, the locals eat there. Not just people passing through, or recent city transplants who do not know better on prices.

We do eat good, don't lie. We have food standards, and the food prices are reasonable at brasserie level. We are leaps and bounds ahead of American food industry. Available for the basic middle class consumer.
And no, I'm not telling you where I live, so you can come shit up the place with all your city rat friends, and bring prices up.

>>17536519
pretentious much?

>>17536752
Oh, fair enough, that makes sense.

>>17536519
Hello, entree and main dish mean the same thing. Assuming you wanted OP to serve both of those along with the cheese and bread and things, that seems like a bit much. Just either the entree or the main dish would be fine though.

>>17536902
t. broke buck mentality
>thinks food has pretentions
case and point.

I guess the social class warfare meme filters a lot of /ck fags huh
that's even worse than the fags who won't wear pink because it might send ''the wrong image''...
What me? Eating hard cheese? Putting fruit and nuts together on a plate? No! people would think I'm a rich faggot...kek who's insecure, who made the nuts and the fruits gay in your minds?
nigger your strawberry pop tarts are gayer than shit, your peanut butter/jelly sammies are gay as shit...has nuts and fruit in them...which presentation is gayer?
You globohomo broke bucks have lost the plot.
You're already in the ''live in the pod, eat the bug'' mindset, if you think already some foods are ''off the table'' for you, based just on your social status...WOW

>>17536896
>Then you're a city rat
nope, stopped reading there

>>17536896
Where exactly do you live?

>>17536673
Southern US does this too usually, it's where the phrase "Southern Hospitality" comes from. Those who actually care for guests will show it with food, though we usually go for comfort foods rather than fancy stuff.

>>17536479
suck him off

>>17536936
You're trying too hard now

>>17536519
This guy buys a bigger car every time his boss buys a new car. He waits for his boss to announce his holiday destination before he chooses his bigger and better destination. Never ever be this stupid.

>>17536479
Your boss is interested in your skills. Nothing more. Right now you're severely underestimating him. He wants to see how you manage things, people, time, atmosphere, misshaps. How you handle cost/reward. This meal will cost you, and there will be no reward whatsoever unless you come up with a remarkable strategy. You've been warned.

Stick with simple, clean, healthy dishes with few food allergies (ask him!). Easy to prepare (oven, flash fry, raw appetizers with home made sauces, stews and soups can be reheated) so you can spend time with your guest. That's the most important thing BY FAR.

Go to an independent wine shop near you. No chain, no supermarket. Explain what you're looking for, buy cheap(ish) but solid wine matching your dishes.

Dessert is the difficult part. No fruit late at night. Careful with alcohol (driving) and coffee (no sleep) - and sugar (diabetes). But an Irish/French/Italian coffee is great with a simple apple pie, your own whipped cream and actual vanilla - preferably from Tahiti.

PS: don't serve American style Mozzarella, Parma ham or Belon oysters. Look for American producers who are proud of their cheese, ham, oysters and everything else they're growing. Your boss will get it and you will too eventually.

>>17536936
My man walking around the streets like Alain Delon in Purple Noon.
On a serious note though, I find it great what you are doing. If you can afford it you should always support your local producers instead of opting for big corpo.
Also the people on here can't comprehend someone seeing socializing, talking and experiencing as some kind of leisure activity, it's too "normie" for them.
It's still funny though that of all places something like you have described is being posted on a somalian horse carriage building forum.

>>17536834
>Filtered this hard
I cannot possibly fathom what living the life of a low-class midwit is like. Your life and attitude is so reprehensible that I wouldn't wish it upon even my worst enemies.

>>17536479
>dinner
Your girlfriend’s box
>bottle of the good stuff
A Coors Light

>>17536479
Rape him

Maybe go for a beef bourguignon with some mashed potatoes, and a nice bottle of wine. Or you could go for some nice lamb shanks, peking duck, maybe some baked snapper, grilled mahi mahi, swordfish, prime rib, maybe a rabbit dish, or wild game, or maybe a traditional dish from your family. If you’re going to have bread, bake it yourself and serve it with high quality olive oil and herb butter. Maybe try cajun shrimp (the kind with that creamy sauce, like picrel) as an appetizer. Really, there’s a million things you could do. It just depends on what you’d like to make.

Anyways, people seem to love creme brulee. Especially if you torch it in front of them. Use whatever recipe you like, I typically go for 5 egg yolks, 2 cups of heavy cream, half a cup of sugar, and 1 vanilla bean. Once you use the vanilla bean, dry it out and put it in a container with sugar. Use the vanilla sugar to coat the top & create the hard caramel layer.

You can make creme brulee the night before which is why it’s good. Cheesecake is the same. Definitely test run everything once before the final run, just in case.

>>17537264
>>17537146
>>17536859
>>17536789
>>17536673
>>17536637
>>17536519
>This meal will cost you, and there will be no reward whatsoever unless you come up with a remarkable strategy. You've been warned.
Unironically this. Until now seems like red meat is the safest option to go with for the main dish though this raises a question
>What wine or scotch should I pair with the main course?

>>17536479
get your slow cooker out and slow cook some lamb
roast some veggies in the oven
crack a bottle of red or if he's not into wine a nice classy beer or two
gg no re

remember sucking up to bosses ultimately just makes you their bitchboy later on.

>>17536815
How much of your life do you spend fantasizing that you live in a 1979 episode of Keith floyds France

Doing an over the top meal makes you seem like an absolute kiss ass, which if you’re not larping (you most likely are) will do a really good job of making your boss not only know he can stick his dick down your throat and you’ll thank him for the load later, but enforce that you clearly have no balls or a backbone. The first suggestion I would make and enforce is make sure that it isn’t a one on one meal, your SO should be there playing host while you cook, but you’re a lonely, virgin larping, so that can’t be done.

You want to impress, go simple and unpretentious, being casual to almost a fault, but clearly showing that you’re very comfortable with him being in your home and you’re not seeking to impress, but make the evening enjoyable. I would just go to the market and find a cut that looks good or if you’ve got a decent butcher/fish monger, check them out. Definitely keep it light on courses, but definitely have a nice appetizer, table snacks (bread/oil, nuts/fruits, cheeses). Have a choice of white and red wine available, popping a bottle of scotch assumes he actually drinks it, much less enjoys it (a lot of people claim to enjoy, but only drink for status). Go with cognac over scotch, it has a wider appeal and most people have never had a decent glass of it. That or a nice tequila to sip on.

>>17537780
>What wine or scotch should I pair with the main course?
Scotch doesn't pair with food
How the hell are we going to know what wine to pair if you don't tell us what you're making? Any mid-range dry red will probably be fine, go buy something for like $15-$30, ask for a recommendation at the store.

>>17536479
>Been able to get close to him

Finally going to be able to get that reservation at Dorsia anon?

>>17536815
>you've never thought about going into a store and talking to people about stuff
I have. Sure there are butchers and fishmongers and such around, but I can't afford their prices, and if I had more money, I would spend it towards getting a house. I will subsist on chicken, duck and on-sale pork if it means not ending up on the street.

>>17538333

>>17536479
is this your boss?

>>17538503
Yes, THE manager.

>... :[

>>17536519
This as the main dish seems like it could work out really

hey OP I got 'Simple' by Ottolenghi for christmas if you want me to dig something up in there
good luck fren

>>17538585
>>17538562
This is an app I’ve made before. Stupid easy but very fancy looking if done right.
Very tasty with some good bread

Apologies if rotated, phone posting

>>17536479
Stop being an arsecreeping cocksucker.

>>17536519
you desrve a good ass fucking sweaty

>>17536479
>classy snobby
Schwarze Milch der Frühe wir trinken dich abends

>>17536519
Can I come to your house for dinner?