/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17385400
>weird Mormon food

you can just say flyover food

>>17385405
Trust me it goes beyond that

Mormons are homophobic bigots who have systematically mistreated gays for decades and I am glad they are rapidly declining in membership. They get 10% of your income - which you will never see again - and mainly its a tax scam so they can invest your money and only the church leadership gets rich.

No doubt they have driven countless gays to suicide - they are murderers with blood on their hands.

someone post the entire mormon potatoes copypasta

Mormom-Omnomom: An LDS Food How-To Guide: Part I, Funeral Potatoes

Hello, everyone. My name is John, and I'm very happy to be sharing some of my experience with /ck/ tonight.

Today on /ck/, I will be showing you all a step-by-step guide to making the classic Mormon dish, 'Funeral Potatoes'

You will need:

- ~5lbs of potatoes (roughly pic rel)
- one-half of a stick of butter
- half cup of chopped onion
- 1 cup sour cream
- half cup milk
- quarter cup cubed ham
- 2 tablespoon of garlic
- 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups crushed corn flakes
- 4 slices bread
- barbecue sauce to taste

- a large frying pan or cooker. I use a lidded electrical type one, which I recommend
- a knife
- a stirring implement, like a big wooden spoon

Any example of ”weird foods”?

There are Mormons in my family (some of my mom’s sort-of-cousins) but we rarely see them considering that most of they live in Salt Lake City, almost exactly on the other side of the planet compared to us…

Start by cleaning the exterior of your potatoes of any dirt and grime, then slicing them into round layers of roughly 5mm thickness each and gently placing them down into the bottom of your cooking pan.

Next, add the entirety of your stick of butter, milk, and sour cream on top.

Allow the cooking surface to heat up to it's maximum setting or heat and allow the latter ingredients to melt in the pan.

>>17385421
>Funeral Potatoes

what happens if you cook these for something other than a funeral?

>>17385412
Agreed, that's why I'm not a Mormon and my mom is an apostate.
First off a recipe to entertain your 12 kids, doesn't matter if it has merchorochrome in it, you have 12 kids so if a few die not a big deal

Continue heap layers of sliced potato onto the base layer in the pan from the previous step. Interspersing the layers with modest lashings from your reserves of ham, garlic, and cheese.

>>17385421
Those are the worst looking funeral potatoes I've ever seen.

Like always, Christians do everything better than Mormons, including diddling their youths.

Once you've gotten through the last on the chopped potatoes, throw in the last of your ham, garlic, onions.

Next, gently place your four slices on bread on top of the even pile, and directly pour all the remaining ingredients (salt, sauce, crushed cornflakes) over the top of the bread.

>>17385441
Even Mormons don't make funeral potatoes like that. He must be one of those inbred fuck boys from Colorado City

After the duration of the twenty minutes, prod with the wooden spoon to confirm cookedness - and if ready, remove the Funeral Potatoes from the cooking vessel and into a serving/storage container.

>>17385400
>Child of an apostate
Do your parents still have magic underwear?
Do you have any magic underwear?

Cover the entirety of the dish with the lid of the cooker for twenty minutes and let it cook at maximum settings.

When done, the results should look like pic rel. The potatoes will be throughly cooked, but still slightly firm. The ham will be well fried by the effect of the hot milk and butter, and the uppermost layer of bread and crushed cornflakes will be crispy with a mild salty-barbecue flavour from the sauce.

>>17385433
Begone, Son of Perdition!

You can contently enjoy your Funeral Potatoes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next few days, as this recipe will last an individual for roughly twelve full meals.

But member, before eating, make sure you silently, but earnestly, pray in grateful contemplation of the meal you are about to eat, and/or verbally affirm the statement "Thank you, Funeral Potatoes" out loud.

>>17385452
I don't have magic underwear. My mom never did she had me out of wedlock and wasn't temple worthy. She didn't want me felt up in temple when I was 8 like she was.

Nothing Mormons like more than a lumpy dick

>>17385459
Look at that ugly Colorado City face

This is what people drink when alcohol isn't allowed

Imagine actually being a Mormon in the year 2022.

I always wondered if this was a real thing or just something made up since half of the old people's family here can't from Norway and Sweden

Sorry there is a lot of sweet stuff. Utah adults eat more candy than any other state.

>>17385471
This guy's posted before, he's unironically literally actually short a chromosome and that's why he looks like that.

Velveeta jello salad anyone?

>>17385503
Saved

>>17385459
Aren't you from /fa/?

>>17385508
That makes sense. That's why I thought he was from Colorado city. It was an flds compound. Those are the mormons that still have a bunch of wives, but since no outside woman would join that group they just marry their 12 year old nieces. When the make children hit their teens they get kicked out of the clan. A lot of them used to end up in Vegas letting guys fuck their ass for drugs. Since they get to use lube and get drugs after it's actually an upgrade from dad and uncles fucking their ass in the tool shed

Maybe you prefer mayo and cottage cheese in your jello salad

This might be the worst jello salad

>>17385510
Isn't this just Aunt Myrna' Party Cheese Salad?

>>17385412
>/pol/

>>17385539
Fuck I was wrong. How about some shrimp and olive jello salad?

Lmao non-LDS ITT absolutely seething.

>>17385510
looked pretty good until the cream cheese part

>>17385553
wakey wakey, it's time for your monthly 10% tithe

Finally out of the jello salads. These at least look okay, il I'm curious if Austrians actually eat cabbage this way or if the sour cream is just because Mormons will literally put dairy in anything

>>17385553
Nah we are just having a laugh at how goofy they are. I mean Brigham young thought quakers lived on the moon

Mormons are cultists that are even more retarded than your average flyover cumskin rodent. They literally worship a con-man, and their women are the dirtiest whores once they leave their cult. It should be legal to shoot them on sight desu.

No clue what nippy cheese is

>>17385484
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruktsoppa

>>17385405
Stink stinky dilator hole go back to your shithole

>>17385573
I think it might be a simplified version of Hungarian rakott káposzta.

>>17385682
>flyover doesn't understand how the internet works

unsurprising

>>17385421
>john
oh god is this card?

>>17385471
Finally, someone else notices.. thank you anon

it would be cool if we still used cauldrons

>>17385435
>pour ammonia on a chunk of coal every few days for the kids
what is this supposed to produce? does it grow crystals or something

>>17385972
>reddit spacing equals knowledge of the internet

>>17386239

>literally triggered but empty space

No wonder you love dicks in your ass

>>17386244
>three hours later
>still here seething

>>17385459
Good recipe but it would have been better if it turned into Nikocado's coinslot

>>17385459
You're that guy from /fa/ aren't you.

>>17386232
Honestly I don't know. Doesn't coal release ammonia when it's burned? Probably just a Mormon form of birth control. You can't wrap it and you can't take a coat hanger to it but letting it kill itself is a loophole

>>17385566
>>17385580
>>17385587
>>17385449
Hm, I think we should make laws to torture and punish any dipshit who insult Mormons.

>>17385411
What is this pasta? I would like to read it.

>>17385435
This makes mustard gas

>>17387295
*pulls out a golden plate out from a hat*
yep no we already have a law that says anyone that insults mormons has to fuck you mom.

>>17385412
All organized religion is a tax scam. Think about it: you’re labeled as a horrible sinner who needs to believe their bullshit and donate to their organization/church.

>>17385459
Guys it's John David card from lit he writes novels what a treat of a surprise. I didn't know he was Mormon but I knew Orson Scott card was it makes sense

>>17387295
Mormon dominance means nothing with the mormon church gradually selling out to shitskins and liberals.
Downtown salt lake is a shithole, and the surrounding towns aren't much better. Mormon leadership are just wannabe jews who are bleeding the organization for its worth.

>>17385435
Back then people would just give kids elemental mercury and lead to play with. The lead they'd get to melt themselves to make toys out of, and they could be painted with more lead paint, like houses were painted with. Speaking of the house paint it would flake off and kids and dogs would eat the flakes because lead compounds are sweet.

Regarding mercury, there were mazes and you'd tilt them to get the mercury in the middle. Probably merchlorochrome was more harmful than the metallic mercury.

My mom and I made the chemical garden for me when I was a kid, we used iodine and bluing. We didn't have merchlorochrome, I'm not sure what that's used for.

>>17385608
Looks like it's some sort of cheese product that came in a tube

>>17386232
Yeah it grows cool looking crystals.

>>17385412
and?

>>17386232
https://bizarrelabs.com/charcrys.htm

>>17385435
>>17387579

from >>17387652

>But do not use iodine, for this reacts with ammonia water to form the dangerously explosive nitrogen iodide, a black powder which is safe so long as it is wet, but exlpodes with a loud report from a very slight shock when it is dry.

>>17385431
>wash the dirt and grime
You've been filtered. Humans are supposed to consume a small amount of "dirt and grime" when eating vegetables.

>>17385421
holy shit

>>17385421
Thank you funeral potatoes

>>17385619
>TASTY WEINER FILLING
really though

>>17385730
Could also be based on Krautwickel, an Austrohungarian dish. Though most of these things are probably Turkish if you go back far enough.

>>17387667
humans are not "supposed to" eat dirt, ketard.

>>17385455
that sounds fucking horrible im sorry.

>>17385405
god, coastal scum. vile. die.

anyways is mormon tea effective as much as anything caffeinated.

>>17385412
why should I care? I'm not even Mormon but this post is pure reddit

>>17385405
Here's your refined coastal city cuisine.

>>17388828
atrocious
>>17388888

>>17385412
>muh gays muh homos muh buttsex
Mormons are also anti-porn and anti-fornication. Why you so fixated on homo anal?

>>17385424
>- 2 cups crushed corn flakes

>>17385484
it's real

i slept with a coworker of mine who had left the LDS church about 2 years prior but was still dealing with a lot of psychological issues related to the abuse she endured. for example she would get panic attacks if i looked at her naked and she had something called "vaginismus" where her pussy would clench up out of anxiety which made sex uncomfortable for her. anyway she had this crazy nightgown thing with a hole in it that she insisted on wearing the few times we slept together and she would wash herself obsessively after we finished.

honestly it was pretty sad to see what had been done to her, she didn't say it outright because she didn't like to criticize the church but she strongly implied that there was a lot of sexual abuse of children and almost like sex slavery/arranged marriage in the community. also some really bizarre attitudes towards work and authority, basically equating subservience/compliance with godliness (and by extension, any objection to authority being equivalent to sin, even if the authority is doing really bad and hurtful things)

another Mormon coworker was the most manipulative, creepy psychopath i have ever met, truly spooky. all three of his children had different autoimmune diseases and he would have periodic nervous breakdowns over small things not going correctly. he was also obsessed with recording his life and wore some kind of body camera thing that looked like a pen to record every interaction until he was ordered by the school administration to quit. he still had surveillance cameras in his office going 24/7 though, and also insisted on setting up a new and separate IT system for the department that he ran and was in charge of.

>>17388937
i uh, don't know whether the first or third paragraph was more enjoyable.

>>17388937
yeah, i always knew those mormon fucks were crazy cultists. sucks for that girl.

>>17385535
>>17385550
these are nasty
>>17385539
this one is very close to aunt myrna's party salad