/ck/ - Food & Cooking

maybe you ate his jizz cooked into pancakes and that's what was so funny to him but since you didn't react he just got bored and bummed out that it wasn't as funny as he conceived it to be

You ate cum.

>>17234846
It takes 5 minutes to eat a half stack you fucking larping faggot.

Pancakes fucking suck.

>>17234846
How pathetic do you have to be to make up a story like this. As if THIS is the height of your imagined indignation at someone who graciously believes you aren't as much of a fatass as you really are.

>>17234846
lol dis niggah ate bvll semen

How do I get a slampiggy gf like that pic

>>17234846
>least obese american

>>17234846
Why is their blackness relevant to your lie?

>>17234846
I love how /ck/ always had fantastical stories of restaurant goings-on that could only come from the imagination of a larping shutin who thinks that’s how people act in the world because of TV/internet

Allow me to add my own story.
>be me
>go to Japanese restaurant
>cute Japanese girl takes my order
>I ask to start with some reishu and 漬物 (Note: this is pronounced “tsukemono”, and generally refers to a small assortment of pickled vegetables), which is my favorite thing to have with reishu.
>She says “ah, you mean お漬物? Sure, I’ll be right back with your お漬物 and reishu” (Note: the お preceding 漬物 is pronounced “oh”, and is sometimes attached to a noun in order to show politeness or humility)
>I laugh and ask her to sit down at my table for a moment
>she says “y-yes, anon-sama!” and takes a seat
>I politely explain that there’s no reason for her to precede 漬物 with お, as I am not of a significantly higher social station, and am also a regular customer. It is okay to speak to me familiarly.
>she looks at me intently as her eyes begin to fill with tears
>”I-is it really okay, anon-sama? …ah; I mean anon?”
>I smile and nod. “Of course it’s okay, my dear waitress-chan”.
I won’t bore you with the details, but she and I conceived our first child immediately afterward, on the table, during the dinner service.

>>17234934

Lead her into a trap paved with pancakes

>>17234943

I'm guess you're not American. This is iHOP. Letting us know they were colored folk really sells the story and makes believable. Why? Because anyone who has been in an iHOP within the past 5 years can tell you they are all staffed by negros now. Not the way it used to be years ago. Now you know.

>>17235067
If everyone already knows that they're black, why mention it? Just say it's a waitress not a black waitress. That's like mentioning that the sky is blue every time the sky is mentioned.

>>17234943
It's all those losers think about

>>17234846
impossible.

>>17235073

oh jesus christ. You're one of those faggy SJW types arent you? The kind that thinks we should be "anti-racist" and supports BLM? You people are the only ones that get touchy about talking about blacks. Anyway, any good story teller describes their characters in detail, and that often includes their race. Have you never read a book?

>>17235073
it's not incorrect though so eat shit

>>17235096
>Have you never read a book?
of course not, I'm black

>>17234947
I have a story similar to OPs and I believe it tho the waitress and chef involved were white (i don't go to places that are not this way)
>Order burger once
>Very good burger, stupid cheap (think it was $7 for a quarter pounder with fries)
they put the toppings on under the patty, so when you bite in, all you can taste is lettuce and pickles, no burger. you hardly taste the burger till you've already swallowed
>go back, drinks and burger were cheap
>hey this is gonna be an odd sounding request but can you ask the chef to put the toppings like... on top of the burger this time? Last time they were underneath. You know the lettuce and tomato and stuff.
>burger comes out from bottom to top: Bottom bun. Burger patty. Cheese. Top bun. Lettuce. Pickles. Tomato.
>the chef is peeking out of the kitchen and becomes visibly frustrated as I arrange t he toppings correctly

>>17235078

You arent triggered by those things you're brainwashed cattle, because it means you're oblivious to their propaganda. But let's not get into a political decision on a food board mate, you'll end up with egg on your face

>>17235100
top kek

>>17235102

>the waitress and chef involved were white (i don't go to places that are not this way)

so based

>>17235096
I'm not touchy. It's just a retarded thing to include in your story when it has no relevance to it. If they were doing some stereotypical black thing then you should mention it.

>>17235102
i wonder who he was annoyed at, you or the waitstaff

>>17234943
>>17235073
Perhaps you should ask yourself why its being mentioned bothers you so much.
>I walked into a field. There were some plants. Above me was the sky.
>I walked into a brightly sunlit field of yellow wildflowers; the cerulean sky reaching the horizon without a single cloud.
It’s almost as if descriptive elements lend themselves to storytelling.

>>17235097
When you tell stories about eating at places with a white staff, do you constantly mention that the cook is white, the staff is white, etc? It just seems like obsession to me especially when there is no comedic racial component to the story.

>>17235102
Here's a pic of burga, vertical lines are toothpicks.
>>17235117
My server left EOS right after she brought me the burger, and I was too astonished to say anything. The next waitress didn't mention it

>>17235102
>Eat in white only kitchen places
>Has a complaint about the food
>Gets snarky service
>Have to build-a-burger his food
....

>>17235124
The second sentence sounds like flowery shit a faggot would write.

Somebody post fat hitler face, I need it for a meem related to OP

>>17235129
you would know you're getting supreme service if they were white, instead you get a lazy black chef who so enticed by a spectacle or perhaps just as an excuse dropped his load to OP's breakfast

>>17235137
The story didn't imply laziness, though. The black guy just sat down next to OP to see if he was fat enough to finish the order.

>>17235114
>>17235129

you're right. You're not touchy. You're absolutely assblasted by this. I bet you think racism is a moral failing and a public health crisis too kek. You might fit in more on this new website called reddit

>>17235133
Yeah but he has a point, I would have had a very different understanding of the story fi I didn't realize it was a bunch of fat lazy neg
>>17235141
HEY racism is a bannable offense off of /b/ check yourself before you reck yourself.

>>17235139
>ceasing your work to gawk at costumers doesn't mean you're lazy
you wouldn't have autism by any chance, would ya spud?

>>17235144
because shot gun bullets are bad for yo health

>>17235146
If the chef did something like that then obviously there is little to no business. You've never worked in a kitchen before.

>>17235102
>>17235131
>autist confronts restaurant about burger that doesn’t meet his standards
>relays story on /ck/, including an MSPaint schematic of said burger
You are based as fuck. Never take any meds.

>>17235150
you're not autistic or you are?

>>17235155
It takes normal people more than 30 seconds to cum in a meal you retard.

>>17235141
More like I think you're a retard obsessed with black people and have to autistically mention it every time you see one in public. If you're going to post a made up story and include black people in it, at least have them chimp out or some shit.

>>17234878
About time someone said it. They can be alright, but everyone makes them out to be far better than they are. Crepes are better, you can do lots of things with crepes. Pancakes? OOOH I PUT BLUEBERRY/CHOCOLATE CHIPS IN THE BATTER HOW REVOLUTIONARY
Big snore.

>>17235102
>>17235131
Are you eating there again?

>>17235162
so that's a yes or a no regarding the autism thing?

>>17235163

rent free

>>17235146
Lol you little oversensitive sheltered butch ass faggot.
You don’t think shit like that happens?
The first time I went to a Japanese restaurant where I currently live, I ordered maguro natto since I fucking love natto and was happy to see it on the menu.
The chef poked his head out of the kitchen door and noticed I’m quite obviously a white dude.
When the server brought it to me, he came out and sat in a booth. Not as plainly obvious as OP’s story but he clearly wanted to see if this white dude could down some natto.

>>17235187
wow you went to japan?
scrawny faggots never do that

>>17235193
Your post makes no sense.
Calm down and become less upset, and try again.

>>17235204
>haiso, autistic manlet eat Natto, very good!
>Sugoi just like samurai he get fucked in butt, bonzai kamikaze

>>17235171
I don't think so, I think I'm autistic.

>"Yeah i'll have some pancakes but put 1000g of sugar please"

>>17235218
Lol are you the same bitch who got upset at OP using the term “black”?
Are you having an actual breakdown?

>>17234846
>18 pancakes
>eat all pancakes in less than 5 minutes
Imagine being morbidly obese

>>17234846
idk how you can eat those shitty pancakes. They always make me sick after just 1 or 2

>>17235236
yes obviously the same person who doesn't want races discussed would call you a faggot samurai. that makes sense, check the reply chain, block head.

>>17235236
I'm not upset that you're mentioning that they're black. I'm confused because you mention that they're black but they're acting completely normal so it has no relevance at all to the story.

>>17235166
I'm a regular desu, I really like the place. They have really high end beer that not a lot of other places have, and they serve it very cheap. The food is normal price except the DIY burger, the DIY burger is $7 which is very cheap for a full on quarter pound burger and fries.
Doing a burger this way is kind of their thing and their whole brand, they have a special name for it and don't call it a burger at all. So ordering it as a burger may have been a crepe machete.

>>17235274
He also mentioned it’s ihop.
There are other restaurants that serve pancakes. It could have been any pancake restaurant.
It specifically being ihop has zero to do with story development.
Why aren’t you upset about him mentioning this pointless detail?

>>17235254
>block head
What the fuck? Call me a bitch ass faggot, you buttfucking faggot ass bitch.

>>17235308
if I called your bitch ass a nigger faggot would you hold it against me?

>>17235124
>1st sentence: based Hemmingway
>2nd: literal faggot Proust

>>17235316
Of course I would you piece of shit faggot ass motherfucking bitch cracker ass faggot.
Using the n-word is way over the line of what’s okay :(

>>17235325
oh I didn't know

>>17235301
Mentioning that it's ihop lets everyone know that he's at a chain. Mentioning that the staff is black usually implies that they're doing some sort of black thing like providing bad service or being rude. Is the first green text story you've ever read?

>>17235129
I was talking to a screenwriter at a bar maybe 10 years ago and he specifically mentioned that when he submits scripts he has to mention the race of people only if they are non white in his mind otherwise directors will cast them as white because if you don't label a character's race the assumption is that they are white. It might be different now but the default has always been white

>>17235332
Why the fuck does whether or not he’s at a chain matter at all in the context of his story?

>>17235151
>never5get

>>17235334
It lets everyone know that OP is an obese fucking tastelet that enjoys eating reheated, frozen pancakes. It is extremely relevant.

>>17235301
ihop is an important detail, we know he was being served shitty pancakes by lazy employees and walked away with sticky elbows

>>17235344
Fucking lol except that’s not how anywhere makes pancakes.
Are you really so mad about OP saying “black”?

>>17235357
You keep telling me that I'm mad but I'm not. Stop projecting, faggot. Don't pretend like you weren't expecting some sort of punchline at the end when there wasn't one. That's the entire point of most greentext stories.

>>17235357
>Are you really so mad about OP saying “black”?

He is and I cant stop laughing. At this point I cant figure if this nigga is a SJW or just has his autism maxed out

>>17234846
you're a fatass and pancakes suck

>>17235357
>Fucking lol except that’s not how anywhere makes pancakes.
Nearly every single thing at applebees is frozen and then reheated. I'm not even joking. I've worked there before. Most chains don't cook a fucking thing from scratch.

>>17235370
>punchline
Dude thought OP couldn’t down those pancakes.
OP did exactly that.
Checkmate, Uncle Ben.

How much more punchline do you need?

>>17235370

Im not that guy, but you are mad. You've been mad. Over such a weird thing too. This is 4chan bro, just be happy OP didnt just straight up call them niggers

>>17234947
10/10

>>17235387
>pancakes
>yeah but this that doesn’t serve pancakes reheats things that aren’t pancakes
Pancakes, anon.

>>17235389
Why even bother mentioning that the staff is black twice then? Their race isn't relevant to OP being a fat ass.

>>17235395
OK but why would you??? Why would you use that awful word when you're saying I should be glad they chose not to?
There is literally no winning with you people, I literally cannot even relax around you knowing that this is how your minds work.

>>17235427
Stop samefagging your own posts.

>>17235418
>OP being a fat ass
Fucking lol holy shit you’re having to strain so hard from screeching what we all know you really want to say about OP.
Just go back; this probably isn’t the best Internet forum for you.

>>17235398
All chains reheat shit. Post proof that ihop isn't reheating their pancakes and I'll believe you.

>>17235450
>baseless assertion
>prove me wrong
Not now it works, Zoomie McZoom.

>>17235456
I've worked at chains and you haven't.

>>17235434
>go to restaurant
>waiter is white
>cook is white
>I ate a bunch of pancakes
>the end

If OP posted that I'd assume that he was an autistic brown man obsessed white whites. I think you have a broken brain.

>>17235460
Lol no you haven’t, faggot. Not if you think for a moment a chain would make, freeze, distribute, and reheat fucking pancakes.
You’re the shittiest larper in this thread.

>>17235506
They do it with steaks, chicken, and every other meat. Frozen pancakes are a thing, dumbass. You microwave them.

>>17234846
do blacks really work?
i'm not american, so i gotta sk

>>17235471
>go to restaurant
>waiter is white
>cook is white
>OP is NOT white
>He ate a bunch of pancakes
>white cook who doubted him returns to kitchen, clearly upset
>the end
You’d clap and you know it.

>>17235519
The cook wasn't even upset. You keep projecting with this upset thing. Calm down.

>>17235144
Only if reported.

>>17235510
You’re a special flavor of retarded, aren’t you.
Frozen pancakes make zero economic sense for a restaurant.
Even an Applebees chef such as yourself should see that as basic common sense.

>>17235067
I've only seen a few black people working at IHOP in areas full of niggers

>>17235511

if they have jobs, they do their best to not work while they're on the clock

>>17235523
>projecting
You’re the one who has been upset for the entire thread because someone said “black”, and then going no-u or calling OP a fatass instead of giving an answer when asked why.

>>17235511
when I worked at starbucks our manager hired two black girls and they were fired within 2 weeks for being terrible employees. was it because they were black or because they were 17? I'll leave that question to the philosophers

>>17235539
https://www.mashed.com/148244/what-you-dont-know-about-mcdonalds-hotcakes/

>The refrigerated McDonald's delivery truck arrives from corporate. Someone tracks down the low man on the totem pole — it's his job to unload the truck, including box after box of frozen, pre-formed, pre-cooked hotcakes, each marked with an individual serial control number. After halfheartedly reshuffling a few boxes of Canadian bacon to make room in the freezer, your box full of hundreds of hotcakes will get tossed into some forgotten corner, until you place your order. A quick zap in the microwave may restore the pre-cooked hotcakes to something of their former glory, but make no mistake: They're not cooked fresh to order.

>>17235551
He's a fat ass for eating 12+ pancakes, idiot. How fat are you?

>>17235562
>frozen pancakes make no economic sense for a restaurant
>b-but McDonald’s!
Sorry Applebee, by restaurant I meant “place that actually cooks/preps things”.
But of course you knew that.
And you probably posted that link after googling whether or not ihop does frozen pancakes, and realized how retarded you were for suggesting it.

>>17235596
I googled frozen pancakes chain. Chains do it, faggot. I already knew that but since I haven't worked in one in over a decade I have to post an article for your clueless ass.

>>17235102
>toppings
on a burger
you deserve a slow and painful death

>>17235596
>chains don't do it hahah it doesn't make sense
>post proof chains do it
>b-b-b-but not ihop they're too good for that

lol

>>17234862
pussy

>>17234878
>>17235164
kys

>>17235562
That's adorable.
Someone thought they could be a writer.

>>17234846
WTF I just went to look up the calories for that meal and IHOP is charging $12 for a plate of just 4-5 pancakes now?

>>17234947
faggot

>>17235610
>I googled it
>but I already knew it
>I only did it cuz u dum
It’s weird though, I could have sworn we were talking about one specific restaurant, not chains in general, and certainly not McDonald’s. And we weren’t even talking about that restaurant except for the fact you say it was a critical detail as opposed to “black”.
You’ve gone from being upset at OP’s word usage to posting articles about McDonald’s using frozen items. As if that isn’t common knowledge to the point it made news when they switched to a *not* frozen quarter pounder.
C’mon, anon.

>>17235641
>McDonald’s is the base metric for all restaurants
It’s so cute when retards talk like they’re people :3

>>17235683
>It’s weird though, I could have sworn we were talking about one specific restaurant, not chains in general
>>17235506
>Lol no you haven’t, faggot. Not if you think for a moment a chain would make, freeze, distribute, and reheat fucking pancakes.
>not chains in general

>>17235691
Okay, you win. IHOP is McDonald’s and OP is on the wrong side of history.

>>17235689
>my chain is better than your chain
Slop eating faggot.

>>17235700
Mcdonalds is the king of profit margins and they freeze their pancakes. Your argument is stupid and you need to stop posting.

>>17235701
Awww cute wittle adorable retard still thinks he’s people :3
I got some candy! Want some candy?

>>17234947
pronunciation autism is just about right, but you forgot to include an extra dollop of emphasized syllable autism

>>17235703
>McDonald’s business model is the universal foodservice business model
Well I definitely don’t doubt your illustrious Applebees career now.

>>17235712
I never said that autismo but you cannot deny that they're far more successful than Applebees. They're all over the world and American culture is basically synonymous with McDonalds and Coca Cola in the minds of foreigners.

>>17235721
And this has what to do with OP’s black restaurant staff?

>>17235725
Nothing? Do you possess less than a dozen functional brain cells?

>>17235703
>Mcdonalds is the king of profit margins
mcdonalds is the king of volume
your local michelin is the king of margins

>>17235735
I'm not going to argue about profit margins but >>17235539 said
>Frozen pancakes make zero economic sense for a restaurant.

And he is wrong so he kind of needs to admit that he's either a retard or simply disappear in a puff of autistic smoke.

>>17235753
>>17235735
>>17235732
>>17235725
>>17235721
some of you people here seem like you do a lot of phoneposting or have maybe been here a while. Do you know what happened to limealong anon with patti the cat? I took a break and now he is gone.

>>17235763
The cat poster was bullied off the board.
>phoneposting

I don't even own one because I don't have friends, lol.

>>17235753
>ihop is McDonald’s
I already agreed. You’re right. IHOP is literally McDonald’s. Your assertion that ihop uses frozen pancakes is proven by the transitive property due to McDonald’s using them.

>>17235774
Thanks for the info, sorry for the insult I just thought it made it more likely to get a (you). I'm ur friend if you post OC here

>>17235780
You shouldn't have said that it isn't profitable for chains to serve frozen pancakes if you want to defend ihop so badly. I don't give a shit about how ihop does their pancakes because it's all slop to me. I'm going to assume that they're frozen because other shitty chain places I worked at all reheat frozen food.

>>17235791
Relax. You’re right. OP is racist because McDonald’s uses frozen pancakes.

>>17235782
No dice.

>>17235793
Your post makes no sense but you must work for ihop if you get this twisted up over someone mocking them.

>>17235753
why do frozen pancakes make more economic sense than premade batter?

>>17235892
they're lighter

>>17235892
You can make them in bulk at a factory and they're served within a minute or two. It also eliminates the possibility that the stoned 16 year old forgets to flip them on time so you get a more consistent product that won't piss off the customer because it's burnt/undercooked.

>>17235763
got called catfaggot too much. or maybe he finally got a gf

>>17235892
Can you make a thread about this? There aren't enough pancake threads right now

>>17234846
haha... is she going to eat all of that? Haha? Wouldn't that make her really stuffed?

>>17235657
That takes more than 5 minutes as well. There are some things that you take your time with and eat it nice and slow.

>>17235892
making pancakes correctly and the exact same, every time, requires you to pay attention and know what you are doing. that is too much to ask from a mcdonalds employee. remember, people want consistency from their fast food chains. Making them en masse, freezing them, and telling the 17 year old wagies to put two in the microwave and push the "pancake" button is an easier way to achieve that

>>17235980
This is the exact reason. Maybe ihop functions a step above this by shipping frozen, premade batter in a tube that is loaded into a calk gun and then fired into a pan. We had those guns at taco bell for the guac and sour cream.

>>17235102
Stop ordering lettuce on your burger poorfag

>>17235163
Yikes

>>17236046
There is no reason to mention it twice in the story if it has no relevance to it and has no funny payoff. Keep staying obsessed, though.

>>17235980
but setting uncooked red meat on a griddle and watching that is acceptable? something doesn't add up

>>17234947
>I won't bore you with the details
what was the diameter of the wasabi root she crammed up your ass?

>>17236198
There is a timer above the grill that beeps very loudly when it's time to flip the paddy. You could be comatose on heroin and still hear it and if you don't flip the patty, the manager will rage at you.

>>17236290
Oh, and if you want to make a pancake argument, it'll still be raw on the top so the fucked up teenager could still mess up the flip or smear the batter everywhere. Franchises account for all of that.

>>17234846

I used to watch eat pancakes and watch Impractical Jokers while I lied in bed with my ex-girlfriend in her little apartment at college. It's hard to watch now even though years have gone by. I've found another woman and I love her, even dated her longer at this point, but it's not the same. I'll never know the passion that I felt with my first love again, and I guess I'm alright with that. Smile that it happened as they say. Christ, I need a mother fucking drink but I told myself I'd cut down and not drink until the weekend. Lord give me fucking strength. Goddamn it. I quit smoking too.

>>17236403
Could you post more about your fascinating story? How does the lord fit into it specifically?

>>17235124
They love niggers more than life itself. That's why.

frustrated wannabe novelists of /ck/ working as paid viral marketers unite! and to think they said that a MFA couldn't get you a job in the real world.

>>17235958
If he quit because he's a fag I don't care. I'm only worried he quit because Patti died. It'd be sad to see Patti Mayonnaise die in our lifetime.

>>17236592
>Patti Mayonnaise
Did I hear you correctly?

>>17235164
Crepes are pancakes.

>>17235103
IT'S ALL JEWISH PROPERGANDA

>be me (none other)
>go to chinese resteraunt
>meal arrives - notice that they gave me a knife and fork
>look around
>everyone else has chopsticks
didn't pay, never went back, fuck 'em

>>17237210
if you went on your own, they will make assumptions

>>17237210
>dats waaaaaycist so gibs me free stuf
lul

>>17237254
I left a gook place once because they gave me a knife and fork (as well as chopsticks) - all the other patrons only had chopsticks.

>>17236592
she wern't that old

>>17234846
>black people
>work
stopped reading right there