/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17167179
Wow, I guess I really triggered you in that thread. Sorry for the mtental truame w cau dw

>>17167193
I got this on /ck/ from another thread. Sorry about your stroke though.

>>17167193
Someone needs to lay off the Mac n Cheese

>>17167193
It reads like a /b/ post circa 2005.

>>17167193
Guys, leave him alone. /ck/ is a drunkposting board. If you're not drunk while posting here, you're just a fag, or a woman.

>>17167314
This >>17167193 looks more like strokeposting than drunkposting

>>17167350
This will never stop being terrible

>>17167319
You'd be surprised. when you're nodding off and have one eye closed so you can see without double vision, your depth perception is fucked and you can end up with shit like that. I can see he hit all the main letters of what he's trying to say. I'd bet he's either drunkposting or nodding off on some opiates

>>17167314
OP's image was from a /co/ thread.

>>17167361
I was talking about the stroke post guy responding to OP, not whatever OP was talking about

does anyone have that greentext about the anon who told his date about loli's?

>>17167358

Wrong kind of Dutch Oven, this is /ck/.

>>17167179
OC cringe of my own. Tried beer batter deep frying tuna in a bag. I was hysterically laughing along as things unfolded into the horror it was bound to be.

The lesson from that day was tuna in a bag friken sucks.

>>17167224
mac and cheese?

>>17167380
WHAT

>>17167420
a few years ago there was a thread posted about worst restaurant date stories or something and some anon typed out this greentext explaining how he autistically gave a girl a compliment referring to her looks being akin to a "loli" and she asked what that meant and well, im sure you can imagine how it went down

i don't remember exactly how it goes but it got posted on reddit awhile back. Surely someone has it saved

>>17167359
iirc his deal was that he inherited the house and his dad paid the utilities, all he had to pay for was food and internet, which he did by "a bit of online work" every month. Best part was he didn't sleep in his bed anymore because there were so many pizza boxes that the rats had taken over, and he couldn't sleep with them scurrying around at night, so he slept on the couch

>>17167380
>>17167420
>>17167434
na it was a waitress, but it's still good

>>17167449
fugg :DDD

>>17167453
>>17167449
>>17167434
>>17167420
>>17167380
do you fucktards actually think this is real?

>>17167469
Who fucking cares, it's funny as shit and realistic enough that we can imagine the average btard doing it. Do you have no joy in life?

>>17167469
all the cam girls I give money to are single and in love with me

>>17167483
let the old man yell at his cloud anon

>>17167350
God I hope he shows up to cry again

>>17167418

>>17167519
It seems to be a fairly consistent pattern around here that people try and make something really complicated and "fancy" for dates when they probably can barely make spaghetti

>>17167535
He won't, he killed himself because of you people. Sick fucks.

>>17167358
LOL I remember this thread. Anon was asking for dinner ideas while his wife was cucking him with Tyrone. Makes sense because only Tyrone would want an ass like that

>>17167597
he's here bros, laugh at him.

>>17167615
I never saw that thread, when is it from?

>>17167623
Last week

>>17167615
What?

>>17167351
>>17167535
>>17167597
>>17167622
OH HURR DURR LAUGH AT A GUY FOR MAKING AN ORIGINAL DISH ON A FUCKING FOOD AND COOKING FORUM HOW HILARIOUS

>>17167623
>>17167657

>>17167744

>>17167756

>>17167756
kek I remember this one. Fucking poetry.

>>17167713
We found him, guys. Also, a bad rendition of something does not constitute an "original dish." Sorry, anon. Next time buy real bread.

>>17167796
shut the hell up you stupid fuck, that was real bread....sorry it doesn't fit in your sorry, small american brain alongside the bleached flour squared poison you consume on the regular

>>17167418
> If you use pregrated your bully was right

It's a bit over the top, but that's a funny joke.

>>17167744
>>17167756
>>17167761
This was not what was advertised.

>>17167350
“Might as well kill myself now that alcoholics on a mongolian fast food review site made fun of the food I made while drunk on Benadryl “

Someone post sroey the guy who delivered to the amish

>>17167350
How can anyone earnestly make something that looks like this, and think it's worth sharing? I don't even know what's happening on the right, and that little smattering of onion and pepper just looks sad and hollow. The entire dish honestly looks pathetic. Putting it on display is literal cuckold behavior.

>>17167713
BROS WE GOT HIS GAY ASS. LAUGH AT THIS HOMO

>>17167801
WE FOUND THE HOMOSEXUAL. LAUGH AT HIM BROS

>>17167713
You deserve all the shit you're getting for that fucking travesty. Fuck you faggot

>>17167543
It's a shame if they fuck it up, but it's really just them being motivated to impress their date.

>>17167956
>The entire dish honestly looks pathetic.
I mean if it's ACTUALLY the best they've done and it's relatively impressive it's not cuckold behavior, just unfortunate.
You can't get cucked if you don't have anything to get cucked out of.

>>17167350
What sort of cuck would think this is worth sharing?

>>17167418
Christ what an autismal faggot

>>17167597
If he did, he's an asshole for not livestreaming it like a decent person.

>>17167269

>>17168175
>not my problem

>>17167597
Good

>>17167358
>that dark bunghole
FUCK bros i wanna sniff

>>17167350
he will never beat the egg king

>>17167744
>>17167756
>>17167761
This anon sound based as fuck

>>17167418
Fuck. I opened the thread to post this.

>>17167713
There he is!

>>17168182
He tried but made "improvements" to his PC and it didn’t upload

>>17167713

>>17167418
What's the point of writing a recipe for the kid to read if every line is just "have your dad do X"?

>>17167956
He just wanted to make an eggwich like the eggman and share with his frens
What confused me was he didn't seem to try at all to make it look like what was happening in the webm, starting with the bread obv

>>17168454
>you have to boil them?
Shit like that has to be fake. I can't imagine somebody that fucking stupid would even attempt to cook anything
>>17167350
Wait nevermind here's one, forgot about that

>>17168487
>Shit like that has to be fake.
I find it completely believable. Some parents teach their kids absolutely nothing.

>>17168505
Yeah, but surely they would wonder at some point about the actual cooking part of the preparation. Though I suppose given the context they probably expected to mash them and put them in the microwave.

This was a bit much

>>17168524
That's not cringe tho

>>17167193
my boy got mocked so hard the nigga fucking died mid-post

>>17168186
I can't believe I'm fucking 30 and still shitposting here. Feels like I'm still waiting for life to start, but really it's half over.

>>17168454
If that's all he wanted to do he should have stuck with the surly egg king's damn recipe. Wanting to make "improvements" to it then proceeding to post that awful trash is nowhere near the level of innocence that you're implying. He deserves every ounce of hate for that terrible, terrible thread he made.