/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16864911
Yeah i got one
>I have a hunched over poster from a horrific car accident resulting in spinal stenosis.
>Roastie foh seem to think this means I’ve never done anything besides jerk off and play Xbox my whole life even though before my injury I was running an 8:30 minute mile ( I know dogshit).
>Anyways I’m autistic and I don’t agree with the whole idea of social gain of shooting the shit at others expense so I just get bullied and when I get fed up I no call no show after they get me on the schedule for like 5 days a week lol.
What a way to live. Anyways I think I’m gonna be in a wheelchair in the next couple of years and it’s emasculating to have to file for disability. All this shit has plagued my conscience for too long and I’m just gonna Od on pain meds soon.

>>16864911
then you woke up in a feverish sweat and went back to saying sorry ma'am

>itt: incel dish bitch fantasies

>>16864937
>>16864945
seething bus boys that have to live off tips

>>16864970
my gf is a sous chef making 17/h with SHITTY tips, terrible industry and why i am encouraging her to get back into sexwork

>>16864970
Lol I’ve never been a bus boy ever. I’ve always been a cook. I was a dish bitch once for 2 weeks because I was tired of being at home all day.

>>16864970
>mfw entering this thread and realizing there are people who do dishes for a living who feel morally superior to other people
makes you think

>>16864911
Christ, frogspammers are cancer.

kino Any dishwasher work alone?

Do restaurants not use dish washer machines??

>>16865467
You can't be this stupid, there is no fucking way you are this stupid.

Imagine thinking you're some kind of chad because you work a mindless dead end job but you sort of talked back to someone and had to have your boss come in and defend you (because you couldn't). What a sad fucking existence.

>>16864911
once upon a time I never worked in a restaurant or fast food joint. Nor did I ever work in retail. I got an degree, worked a high paying job and retired at 53 the end.

>new dishwasher, still learning my groove
>started off fucked up and slow, but as the weeks went on i got way better
>doing okay now a few weeks in
>end of evening, finishing up. very few tasks left
>ASD prep girl (just her and i left in the kitchen) comes to the dish pit
>she has an attitude. she's kinda moving shit around hard and being huffy and puffy
>"hey, i got this. you can head out if you want" i say to her
>she replies "NO! you are new and slow. you need to be faster so i don't have to pick up for you"
>excuse me, bitch?
>"Hey motherfucker, I didn't ask for your help or your fucking opinion. If you're gonna help, shut up and help quietly."
>she quiets down and actually starts sobbing a little bit
she left crying i come to find out later
>next day, the chef asks me if anything happened between us
>i basically tell him she was being belligerent and had an attitude, i told her to shut up and that she didn't have to help.
>"oh, okay."

nothing happened. worked there for a few months and found out she had a reputation for being a moody autist. i ended up being their best dish bitch and left when i got a real job lined up after.

>tfw years later i still get nostalgic for kitchen work

>>16865677
soul: zero

>>16864911
>be me, only dish bitch working that night, Mexican coworker called out and no one else can come in
>upscale Spanish/tapas restaurant
>expected to be a busy night
>I got my quart jug of black coffee and my Adderall I'll be fine
>massive rush, as expected.
>running the pit like a fucking machine
>chef Dave, the head chef, pokes his head in and says we need more "longs" (picrel) quick
>load a few longs into my next basket to send through the machine
>chef Dave sticks his head in again "Anon where the fuck are those longs?"
>comingchef.jpg
>longs come out of the machine, start drying them by hand
>Dave sticks his head in again, presumably to check to see if his plates are ready
>at the same time lose grip on the long im drying and launch it (I was drying vigorously) right by his face, shattering the wall behind him.
>"God damn it anon!"
>while this is happening druggie line Cook named Amanda absolutely covered in DEEP self harm scars comes running through the dish pit and tries to jump over two stacked baskets of wine glasses
>her feet catch the basket and she eats shit and breaks 30+ wine glasses in the process
> chef Dave flips the fuck out, chews her out for coming into work too fucked up all the time
>GM gets involved, fires her on the spot, she runs out crying, etc..
>everyone forgot I almost nailed the head chef in the face with a plate
Got to love it when you fuck up and someone IMMEDIATELY fucks up way harder so you get off scott free.

>>16865636
sounds like you're the sad little faggot. restaurants a re a chad industry, you certainly couldn't fucking do it

>>16865618
What do you mean?

>>16864937
I'm sorry bro, that's not fun. Just try to be positive and power through it. Living with disabilities is not fun, but there are always people willing to help. Don't know if it matters, but I'll say a prayer for you.

>>16866792
bruh who would run the dish machine in this scenario? Do you think there are rube goldberg machines just taking the plates and cleaning them?

>>16866649
I hope Amanda is ok

>>16866987
You clean debris off the dishes, then load them into the machine. Seems pretty retard-proof to me, and much faster since they dry instantly.
>t. used to do this in a cafeteria

>>16866996
If I had to guess I'd say she's probably dead by now. It's a shame because she was pretty hot.

>>16866694
You're right, I couldn't do it. If I was over the age of 18 and realized the only thing I was qualified to do was scrub dishes I would have ended my pitiful excuse for a life.

>>16864911
And then everyone clapped

>>16867003
I think you underestimate the amount of dishes a restaurant produces

>>16864911
>Closing one sunday
>Sunday we pull the grill filter to clean the next morning
>short guy is fucking with grill filter named cruz
>tell him I will pull it when I get back up stairs with the wheelie bin for them
>Hear loud crash followed by horrifying screaming coming from kitchen
>cruz kept poking with the grill filter with a broom and knocked it out
>and knocked over a 5 gallon pot of hot fryer oil that was about to be dumped
>spilled all down his leg
>retard wore crocks to work

tl;dr mexican deep fried his foot because he couldn't wait 30 seconds

>>16865029

>>16867361
I think you underestimate the amount of penises up your bumhole

>>16867003
someone has to wash them before they go in the washer, you can't have shit clogging the machine or hobart repair guy will get pissy and your boss will have to pay extra for maintenance because of all the bits of food in the machine.

>>16864937
All I understood from your post is you're a hunchback with no bell to ring.

i just got moved for kitchen hand, basically dish pig 70% of the time to front of house staff and part time
not sure if i have made a smart move but i am planning on getting into managment in a year or 2 afterward
how much is front of house gonna suck

>>16867755
Holy shit you nigger, you rinse them before putting through the dishwasher.

>>16865677
Yea, the pay isn't super great, and it's a 'fast paced environment', as they say, but you fucking underestimate how much I fucking love working in a kitchen.

>>16867767
Duh nigger.

>>16867776
If you're a people person it's okay.
I'm not, that's why I'm in the back.

>>16864937
You can heal yourself using the Law of assumption

>>16864937
>Dish pit Chad

>friend of mine owns a few restaurants
>helped him when he was still getting started with a foodtruck
>sometimes he's short on people so I don't mind coming in
>it helps me appreciate my comfy fully remote head of infrastructure job
>don't even get paid, I usually just get free food when I come to his place
>70% dish bitch, 20% runner for whatever whoever needs, 10% cleanup
>insane pace at the end of the day, crazy amounts of orders, and big too
>3 waitresses there, 2 okay, but one new one has an attitude
>she gives me shit because I can't keep up at times
>not bothered since it's not something I do often, but I'm not that bad
>day ends and all employees have a smoke/drink outside
>she's still giving me shit for some reason
>have some stupid conversation about nonsense
>"what would you do if you were stranded in the dessert"
>my answer is to ask questions
>"depends on what I have available"
>"how am I dressed?"
>"do I have any tools?"
>guys agree, it's important to make use of what you have at hand
>her answer is "I'll just wing it! I'm amazing like that!"
>laugh heartily at that
>she says something like "fuck you, this is why you're 30 and just a pathetic dish bitch"
>mfw I make at the very least 15x what she does as head of IT
>I don't say anything about that tho, just laugh at her
>ask her why she's such a massive bitch
>she screams for a while and leaves

I don't think she ever came back to that job. My owner friend didn't care, she was there for a short time anyway.

I also think after that the other two waitresses became much nicer to me.

Can anyone explain why they would choose to do this job?

Honestly, unless you are an immigrant that does not speak the language, what could go so wrong that would lead you to washing dishes in a restaurant for a living?

>>16868711
Low skill job that does not require much commitment, good for students or drifters. If you just want to make some quick extra money on the weekend it's a good fit. I doubt anyone or hardly anyone treats it as a "career", just a phase in their life, but I guess some people like the mindless grind when you can just listen to music or audiobooks or whatever.

>>16867755
>clean of the debris
Holy shit learn how to read
>>16867361
I think you underestimate the number of dishes a cafeteria produces

>>16868711
A lot can go wrong in this world kiddo, you'll find that out soon enough.

>cook in the Army
>we just have the KPs do most of the cleaning with the exception of dangerous shit
Simple as

>>16866649
good story Anon

>>16868711
>>16868792
Guy I was dishpitted with was a felon, probably a lot of sex offenders in the field too

>>16868711
I just want money and its relatively simple. It's not easy, its simple

>>16868823
My buddy only tells me horror stories about 92Gs like how they served him oatmeal that they made in an unwashed pot that had previously contained pasta sauce from the previous night. The only cooks I respect are USAF and only because they actually cook instead of reheating trays of SysCo brand food-product.

>>16868695
Another one:

>be dish bitch again
>get asked to clean the floos since they look awful
>start cleaning and reach an entrance to the kitchen
>there's a huge tower of plastic containers(pic related)
>at least 10 of them, stacked on on top of the other
>ask one of the cooks if they are empty
>"yeah man, all empty"
>start cleaning in the entrance
>someone tries to enter the kitchen so I lean to the side to let them in
>SLIGHTLY push on the container tower
>"that doesn't feel right..."
>turn around just to see the top container hit the table and then the floor
>garlic sauce splatters fucking everywhere
>walls, floor, table, drawers
>"empty huh?"
I spent like an hour cleaning all of that shit up.
They were all empty. All except the on at the very top...
I could never find out which genius put the full one on top, but if I did...

>>16869280
Forgot pic.

>>16869242
>tranny force
Fagman bug.

Oh look another dipshit thread

Are women ever impressed when you tell them you're a cook? I would have thought Food Network TV would have painted a romantic picture of the modern cook.

>>16866466
Based!

>>16869551
I said the cooks not the soldiers. Did you know those fuckers have a custom made-to-order omelette bar every day?

>>16865677
>once upon a time I never worked in a restaurant or fast food joint. Nor did I ever work in retail. I

Must be nice living a privileged life. I worked retail and went to college at the same time.

>>16865029
You're not fitting in, tourist. Go back.

>>16866476
sovl is cope for poorfags.

>>16866466
>"Hey motherfucker, I didn't ask for your help or your fucking opinion. If you're gonna help, shut up and help quietly."
>she quiets down and actually starts sobbing a little bit

Way to handle this like a beta. If you just took it as a joke (even if she wasn't joking) you probably could have fucked her. Moody bitches like that throw puss to people who can talk back without completely demoralizing them. All you had to say was do me a favor and pick up this cock.

>>16869827
Pepe WAS a source of good OC like 10 years ago but now is mostly the stench of offsite cancer

>>16867755
Clean the fucking traps you retard

>>16868695
>>16869280
Any more of these stories? Kinda fun to read. Think it helps you don't have any real commitment to the place if something goes wrong/someone gives you shit.

>>16869831
You could have saved yourself from typing that paragraph and instead simply have uttered the phrase

"Muh Dick"

>>16870122
>get called in for a weekend trip in his foodtruck and these two girls
>it's a "chinese" wok kinda thing, nothing special
>the truck is mostly full of these big buckets
>"mostly" being the key word
>the buckets hold dried noodles submerged in water
>they need to soak for 8+ hours to be usable
>as we leave I ask the preop people they prepared all the noodles
>they say that yes
>first day goes mostly fine
>had to call my friend few times to ask about some recipes
>also had a small scare with one of the stoves
>it appears to be fucked a bit, and sometimes it just "blows up" a bit and goes out
>thisisfine.jpg
>second day comes, and within the first few hours I can see we are short on noodles
>I decide to fire up the third work stove and put on the biggest wok with water and noodles
>this saves us some time, but it's not nearly enough
>as I struggle juggling two works and a third one full of water I keep splashing water around
>water keeps getting under the woks on the stoves
>the broken stove starts "exploding" more frequently
>no bother, I just have to quickly shut it down, and then fire it up again
>this continues for a while, while the pace picks up
>more and more orders, longer and longer line, working faster and faster
>mfw it goes out again
>try to fire it up again
>mfw my lighter is dead
>ask the girls for one
>they have none
>out of desperation ask the customers in front of foodtruck
>nothing
>I fucking run out of the foodtruck
>run to another one nearby where I know the owner
>ask for a lighter
>run back
>start the stove again and continue working
>it explodes another 20 times before the day ends
>and the very end we start serving noodles that had very little time in the water
>few people came back and demanded refunds because the noodles were too hard

It was a bit of a shitshow, but I remember it fondly. Stuff like that made me more proactive and self reliant in general. From my stories you wouldn't think I'm and introvert, but I've always been one

>>16870279
Oh, and I forgot to give back the lighter. It was just a tiny bic, so I doubt they cared, but still, I should have remembered to do that.

>>16870279
Sounds like a rough time. Bet it wasn't fun being the only person to deal with a bunch of complaints too.
>>16870292
>bic lighter
Probably bought one of those big multipacks of those shit things, I doubt they minded much.

>>16870431
>Sounds like a rough time.
I guess, in hindsight it seems fun, but at the time I was probably quite angry.

>Bet it wasn't fun being the only person to deal with a bunch of complaints too.
Yes, having to apologize for other people's mistakes is the worst.

>Probably bought one of those big multipacks of those shit things, I doubt they minded much.
Irrelevant, it's the gesture that matters. I remember saying I was 'borrowing" it, but then I spend the next 4 hours fighting to maintain food production, so I completely forgot about having to give it back. I just sat down by the truck on a bucket and got some kind of fizzy drink from one of the girls and had maybe 15 minutes to relax before I had to do a bunch of cleanup to drive the truck back for ~3h.

>>16868717
>>16869232

There are so many jobs out there that are so much easier though. Even some of the shittier jobs I have done like stacking shelves overnight in a supermarket were better than being a potwash.

Lots of jobs dont even require experience and still pay the same. Working in Pizza Hut restaurant was chill - still some dishes to do but that only took maybe 20% of my time and the same pay or better than dish pig.

>>16870648
>>16870279
>>16869280
>>16868695
You sound like a good friend

>>16865677
became a neet and retired at 19. currently live with parents at age 35. never worked a day in my life. get a clue

>>16870787
I hope you realize how blessed you are

>>16870780
Friends and family are all you have in life. Gotta' cherish them.

We all die alone, but some die more alone than others.

>>16869681
I would honestly kek if I saw this.

>>16870787
>live with parents at age 35
you aren't retired you are a parasite sucking the life force from people who are probably better than you.

>>16865636
wanna know whats really sad
anon here did something today that he is proud of and it made him happy
and you come along and talk him down on it because you somehow think youre better and need the validation
really happy people dont need to talk others down in order to feel good just saying

>>16865009
I can positively affirm that every dish boy in this thread is morally superior to you in every way

>>16871174
I have a better life than you

>>16869831
Hey bro, I got you a gift

>>16871273
Sure, bud. Post timestamped physique and bedroom.

Dish chads, it's out turn

>>16870774
I just quit a pizza place to work at a fancy restaurant's disk tank
3 dollar pay increase and the work is nice and fast paced but not too much that it's miserable
I would literally sit around doing nothing at the pizza place at times going out of my mind with boredom

>>16871273
>fuck all money
>meals dictated by what parents buy or the few cheap things you can sometimes afford
>soon as they die, have nothing, sell house (if they even leave it to you) to survive a few years because can't pay bills
>eventually working minimum wage labour intensive job until 70
>better life

i work at outback
it was kind of dead one day, had a blooming onion ticket
servers just fucking around by the window, one says something about one of the line guys being on their phone, behind her another server on her phone
i sarcastically yell "fuck you mean look behind you"
she screams as loud as possible, while i was plating said blooming onion "MIND YOUR BUSINESSS"
throw petal from blooming onion at her and a few seconds later shes wiping her face
i thought i fuckin got hot grease in this lil bitch's eye and was mortified for a second

>>16864911
>working as a busser at Olive Garden
>they get fucked in the kitchen, so I get thrown in dish
>it's not the end of the world, or so I thought
>get no tips because I was washing dishes instead of clearing tables
>I was clearing 20 an hour as a busser a decade ago, but my base rate was 12 bucks(technically bussers weren't tipped employees, it was an informal arrangement with the servers)
>they tell me to go and wash dishes again a few weeks later, ambushing me while I'm emptying a bus tray in the back
>I say fuck that, I'm not ruining my tip out
>What do you mean, anon?
>Tell manager I clear twenty bucks an hour after tips, not working for barely half that, period
>The actual dishwasher hears this, looks at me with utter incredulity, as I'm an eighteen year old working my first ever job fresh out of high school
>Demands a raise immediately in broken English
>manager refuses, wages are set by the company
>he walks out
>she looks at me with furious rage, and tells me to go and wash dishes
>tell her I don't care I'm not kitchen staff and go back to bussing tables
>its literally not in my job description and all she can do is seethe when I point out I don't have the correct work shoes to be sliding around in the pit
>she ends up doing the dishes
>I quit less than a month later for a better job

It was a pretty legit job usually. I always got the second busser shift for daytime, which meant I worked 11-5, absolutely ideal workday.

>>16871366
I'm going to guess you have an iq of about 90

>>16871367
>new job is at an oil rig camp
>start as a dishwasher because they were paying almost 1600 a week with room and board, so whatever, I'll do grunt work if I'm getting 5 grand a month before tax.
>there's an employee dorm wing all the hospitality workers get rooms in
>one of the first cooks keeps burning the bottom of pots
>chef has made it clear in no uncertain terms that anything that a cook burns is their responsibility to clean
>this fucker keeps ducking it
>eventually get so low on clean pots the daytime dishwasher has to clean a couple
>during changeover, hatch a plot with him
>carry every single dirty pot out of the kitchen, down to the dorm, and get this crackhead housekeeper to unlock his room door in exchange for a couple of Tylenol two the site medic gave me when I scalded my hand that I didn't end up needing
>quietly place like ten gigantic ass stockpots around his bed and then close the door

>>16871391
Are oil rig jobs comfy? I've never even considered that they require a cook of some kind. I can't imagine they expect high standards either. If they pay that much - that's pretty tempting.

>>16871367
>>16871391

>later
>a trio of retards manage to put out some sandwiches in the grab and go fridge in the cafeteria that have raw chicken in them
>retard A had made an entire cart of par cooked chicken that he hadn't put on the menu or labelled, then let it sit for three days
>retard B saw this shit had been sitting around and was going to spoil, assumed it was cooked, and handed it to retard C
>retard C was pissy about being the sandwich guy since that was the dogshit position, so he just lazily put the entire chicken breasts in sandwiches without checking them
>morning comes, and by now I'm training to move up from dish, so that breakfast service I'm in charge of the floor in the cafeteria
>guy grabs a sandwich, comes back two minutes later and shows me
>ohshit.jpg
>immediately take them all back, thankfully only one got grabbed, wake up the camp manager and chef at five in the morning
>turns into a giant shitstorm because the rep for the energy company we were contracted to fucking hated us anyways
>next night
>I'm in the dishpit, cleaning shit up by myself
>sous chef comes in
>starts asking what I think about what happened
>gives me all the details
>he's panicking
>right before then I'd been playing fucking/marry/kill in my head with the three housekeepers who weren't heads/old
>have no fucking clue what I should be doing here, I'm 19, and the dishwasher soon to be cafeteria worker
>literally suggest he just fire the one he likes the least, write up another, and let his friend off because my mind was primed for it
>he actually fucking did it

>>16871423
Depends on what you mean by comfy, but yea, they need janitors, housekeepers, cooks, dishwashers, receptionists, drivers. All sorts of mundane shit.

The general modus operandi is as follows. You fly in to the town nearest the job site, get picked up at the airport, and then driven however far it is to the camp where most of the workers sleep at. Where I worked, it was an hour and a bit to go from town to work, so nothing too bad.

Then, you work either a 21/7 or a 20/10 depending on the company. I worked a 20/10, which meant sometimes you had to stay an extra day on long months, and in February if your rotation had you working the last bit you'd get a shorter one.

You get put up with your own room. They are tiny, usually with a double bed, a desk, toilet, shower, and dresser. Kind of like a tiny motel room. There's usually internet, though it's usually slow as shit.

Where I worked, there was a day shift and a night shift. You worked either a 5/2/5 split(where you take two hours off after lunch/after midnight), or 12 hours with one lunch break and one fifteen minute break. You'd work straight through every day of your rotation, and then go home for your days off.

It was way fucking more work than any restaurant job is going to be(I'd say only military cooks have it worse on average, though some sous chefs at regular restaurants get swamped in work too), but because of how many hours you worked back to back to back, you got mad overtime pay.

I was given a starting wage of 16.50, after a few months it got up to 18, and I was getting at minimum 96 hours of overtime pay per month.

There are parts that are comfy. You don't need to go out and run errands, you have a little room to yourself, your breakfast, dinner, and lunch are always going to be a spread of hot food, if the camp baker is any good you get all sorts of awesome stuff(ours was a fucking king) for dessert. There's a little gym for everyone to use. It was in a lot of ways nice.

>>16871461
>>16871423
Plus, because of how much more time you spend with the people you work with, you tend to be closer to them then you would at a regular job.

There's downsides too, though. You are in the middle of nowhere for weeks. Romantic relationships outside of work are impossible.

The amount of shit you need to get done is a real culture shock for anyone who's never been in the military/done hard labour/worked rigs before.

Drug abuse is rampant, and a lot of the people you will interact with are absolute fucking skids who you'd cross the street to avoid if you didn't know them. We had one guy who'd done ten years for putting a cop in a coma with his bare hands during a traffic stop because he had coke in his car, and he was exactly as psychotic as you'd expect.

In Canada at least, you'll also have to deal with genuinely useless people. Most oil sites are in land that First Nations have rights to, and so there's always quotas where a certain portion of the workers have to be Native or Metis. This means on the one hand that if you are a hard worker and have Status, you can get a job easy. On the other hand, you have drooling idiots who aren't there to be useful but to fulfil the indig quota until someone slightly smarter but still indig can replace them.

>>16871366
Damn hows that tbi treating you anon?

>>16867361
I think you underestimate the number of extra chromosomes you have.

>2007, 16 years old
>First job at a barbecue restaurant in the dish pit
>After close, the boys are all playing the game where you try to punch out the bottom of a glass bottle by filling it with water and smacking it like Bruce lee with the bottom of your palm
>Some can do it, others are fucking it up and howling in pain, I manage to do it once or twice
>Suddenly the GM comes in and starts yelling at us to quit fucking around
>One of the busboys says "hey boss, betcha can't break this coke bottle like this"
>GM furiously grabs the bottle out of his hand and smacks it full force
>It didn't have any water in it
>We hear a crunching sound and he's literally crying
>Has the store manager drive him to the hospital
>We find out the next day he fractured 3 bones in his hand
kek

>>16871287
Imao I live there, thought about applying but Im sure there are 1000s of applications at this point since its been in national news

>>16871850
of course you would wagecuck and for the capitalist government no less

>>16871724
>the game where you try to punch out the bottom of a glass bottle by filling it with water and smacking it like Bruce lee with the bottom of your palm

>>16872098
Oh anon have I got a fun time for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMb6GNYPqXA

>>16870829
Reddit

>Work is a small cafe that also makes food
>Severe autist, and I don't mind letting customers know when they are being a pain in the ass
>Whale shows up with her order
>She asks for something we don't have, so I tell her I'm sorry but we don't have that
>"Thats ok, can I get this thing"
>Sure
>"Actually, can I get this thing instead"
>This is fine, but I have one of those archaic tills where you cannot remove something once you've put it in, you have to put the order through, get a reciept, then put the order through again as a refund reciept so I can show this to my boss and the boss of my boss to confirm that I did not just steal from the till.
>She does this a few times, getting visually ticked off
>She changes her mind again, but this time leads with "Don't if it's a hassle"
>Without realising, I accidentally say "Yea, it is a bit of a hassle to be honest"
>OhshitwhathaveIdone.jpg
>She storms off, paying for her other bits and bobs (drinks and crisps and whatnot) and whines about bad customer service
>Comes back demanding a refund for her other shit she bought 10 minutes ago, probably out of principle more than anything
>Manager isn't in, so she pulls some random wagie from the nearly shop to complain to
>Manager of said store speaks to me about it, he basically doesn't care
>Manager of cafe speaks to me about it, also basically doesn't care. Tells me that I have to be told complaints because It's something I need to be told as part of company policy
>Carry on like nothing happened

Ever since then, I wear a covid mask, not for covid reasons, but to hide my absolute anger and mouth-swearing when a whale with a trolly and her spawn arrive

>>16865009
>The Officer Clerk fears the Dish Boy

>gig contract, second and last day at an old folks' home as a kitchen assistant
>supposed to be packing food from troughs into little lunch boxes, two kinds of meals in two shifts
>meal before lunch break was 150g of potatoes and 250g of meat
>come in from lunch break, a senior worker is already packing the second meals
>start packing potatoes and meat in the same ratio, no comment from her
>at some point she leaves and another senior worker comes in
>halfway through the packing, start running out of meat
>turns out we were supposed to be packing the potatoes and meat in a 200g/200g ratio instead
>cooks are pissed because they have to start prepping more meat and so much meat was wasted
>in the confusion, assume this is your fault somehow since your retard ass either misunderstood or forgot, until you realize you were never told that this meal was supposed to have another ratio
>turns out the first senior worker had been looking at the wrong list, so it was a miscommunication on her part
>play it off with "nah, I should've asked" because you were just grateful that it wasn't your fault
>still feel like shit about it for some reason
>finish rest of the shift in tense silence

>>16873701
That is your fault because you should have asked little sheep. Ever seen that experiment where people stand up and sit down by a bell? That's you

>>16873714
Meds

>>16864911
I love this meme of dish pigs being chads. Never met a dish pig who wasn't either a junkie child molester on parole, or a supreme autist. I got a story of a supreme autist dish pig.
>"Executive chef" at a retirement home
>Barely did anything before covid, for the past almost two years now I just sit and drink in my office while the beaner cooks throw hotel pans in an oven, and then scoop slop out of them and into a bunch of takeout boxes
>Mega autist works the dish pit, mostly keeps to himself, occasionally will chat your ear off about how he was abducted by aliens
>Always yells "BEHIND" at the top of his lungs, 500 times a day
>One day decide to make a joke, not even a good one
>"You're a behind!" was the joke, stupid
>He falls to his knees sobbing, ugly crying, snot coming out and just blubbering like a baby
>"EVERY ONE ALWAYS MAKING FUN OF MEHEHEHEEEEEEE"
>quietly walk back to my office, close the door and laugh my head off

>>16864937
That sucks, but God speed

>>16869814
not really fair to call it privileged

>>16870812
''blessed''
i'd give up everything if i could be a competent human being with some manner of interacting with the world and society, even if it's as a 'lowly' job. I'm a neet because nobody wants anything to do with me and i bomb every interview and get fired from jobs like busboy, dishwasher, store clerk.

>>16866466
>>16869831
I go with something like "you should be ashamed of yourself" or "aren't you embarrassed?"
women will double down initially but it will bother them for years afterward.

>>16873800
>tfw I'm the surpreme autist dishpig willingly to start learning all the Tiki bar cocktail prep I want.

>>16874000
I’ve known some dysfunctional dishwashers. How can you not hold down that job? If you’re that fucked up suicide might be a more humane option

>>16869928
Shut the fuck up Larry, you're fooling no-one.

>>16865029
I can't imagine the sort of person that gets mad over a cartoon frog.

>>16864937
>8:30 minute mile
Jesus christ were you walking? My 1.5 mile is 9 minutes

>>16874237
because i'm not dysfunctional in the normal accepted way
most of the dysfunctional dish people that are described in this thread are gibbering autists or borderline schizophrenic or just really aggressive guys

I'm actually incompetent and not only am I incompetent but I make people incredibly uncomfortable just from them looking at me. I don't know why. I'm just nasty in a way that isn't even as accepted as an insane dishwasher who talks to himself. no matter how hard i pushed myself i was always too slow and would get yelled at. nobody fucking wants me to work for them.

>>16874527
We get it, you're soooo cool

>>16873714
wut? gobble your meds

>>16874543
Sounds rough man, sorry to hear.

>>16864937
what the fuck does "foh" mean?
is this niggerspeak or something?

>>16874737
Front of house. It's like you're not even an alcoholic drug addled kitchen wage slave or something

>>16874751
Thanks. Never have, never will work in a restaurant
I tried googling the term and couldn't figure it out.

>>16871461
>>16871476
Sounds pretty good. Honest work for honest pay.

>>16874737
Fuck means FUCK OUTTA HERE WHITE BOI

WHEN I SAY SLAVERY YOU SAY SORRY

SLAVERY

>>16864937
>it’s emasculating to have to file for disability.
why? that's what the social safety net is there for, so you don't toil yourself to death or become homeless and kill yourself out of financial despair.

I knew someone at my last job who was really sick and died of a blood infection at like 27 and they wouldn't apply for disability even though working was making them worse. I think they tried once and got denied when they were in better shape and that discouraged them. they didn't try to apply again even though for the last year of their life they were losing their job from calling off and going to the hospital every couple weeks. which I kinda understand because at that point they didn't have the energy for paperwork. please don't let it come to that, anon.

>>16869828
the term poorfag is cope for consooomers

>>16874543
>not only am I incompetent but I make people incredibly uncomfortable just from them looking at me

Learn to drive trucks for a living, you'll fit right in. 99% of the time you're on your own.

>>16864911
>all the dishies on /ck/
I’m unsurprised but still disappointed

>>16864978
>Sous chef
>17/hr
$17 an hour isn't bad IF you're in a small town with cheap rent. If you're in a city than she'd be making a lot more on salary but working 4x the hours and sleeping in the dining room half the week.

>>16874924
Have you ever done it? If you're a softspoken 'just keep my head down and make the best of it' kind of guy then you have a low chance of getting disability/unemployment
I tried to collect it for genuine reasons and I got shouted down by the fucking nasty bitches who work those types of government jobs. Literal psychological warfare. They'll talk you in circles until you just agree to call later(after waiting on the line for 2 hours) or make it seem like you're never going to get any benefits.
>>16874934
I don't know how to fucking drive man. I'm fucked. Also I really cant be trusted around heavy machinery.

>>16874527
It was after a 2 hour workout. I’m sure if i was fresh i could get it under 8

>>16864937
get disability and food stamps and live the good life dawg. think of all fucking people on them actually scammin the system or sellin the shit for drugs. i say get while the governments giving

>>16875614
You're right, disability is hard as shit to get on. My mom and mother in law both suffer from debilitating conditions (mom is literally completely wheelchair bound) and it still took them each like 2 years and several attempts to get it. My only guess as to why it's like that is maybe people have abused it to the extent that they tell those goblins at the disability office to automatically deny everyone until they've tried so many times? It hardly makes sense to be stingy about this though, considering every weed slinging negroid and his fucking mom is on welfare. Not sure what distinction they're making between the two types of government cheese.

>>16864937
dude don't continue to put your body at risk for a company that doesn't give a fuck about you

>>16873800
>BEHIND!!
KEK! I love Signs.

>>16871287
Oh shit look an actual decent wage for doing the job. How novel and unique

>work one week as a kitchen cuck in england
>steal all the tips from the managers office
>steal butter and meat from the fridge
>sleep upstairs
>drink non stop
>get fired after one week
>stay another week
lol faggot kitchen staff
some prison twink and a bunch of high school dropouts

>this thread
do these kind of people who work in restaurants, like are they adults and do this and act like that what the fuck

>>16864937
God speed

>>16865029
It's just a frog don't get upset kek

>>16874527
This is /ck/ not /fit/ retard

>>16864937
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheelchair_racing
or do some streaming or some shit
would probably get some viewers for being a wheely boy

>>16877170
no, they just come here to do the "Man I should have ___ that'd show him" that normal people do in the shower if at all.

>>16864978
Isn't 17/hr like really good money?

>>16874872
YOU'RE WELCOME, NIGGER

>have a soulless job contracting for retail stores that pays well
>too bored to live
>see a witty add for pt at local pizza shop, apply because I love making za and have exp
>pay is around a quarter what I'm making on my day job $8.50, no fucks given
>wait staff and expo are qts, gm is an idiot that's never there, back of house is all total bros
>younger of the two kitchen managers acts like he's more important than anyone else
>knit picks everything. example: "PLATING!" ngl it's six chicken wings and a sauce cup on a metal plate.
>I work like 6-8 pizza hours a week for a few weeks and still learn their dough prep, learn 80-90% of their dozen pizza flavors which are all specialty 8 ingredient atrocities never seen anywhere else, can objectively hold down most of the kitchen
>big 3 week event comes up, the only time the pizza place makes money all year
>I contract for half a day and go straight to the pizza place until close every day for the entire span
>it's always a madhouse. Orders print out of the machine faster than you can hang them in front of the line
>no station in back of house is safe because mistakes will back up everyone. dough for example will cause problems the next day
>I hold down like an ironman because it’s more fun, social, and the multitasking is nice
>2 weeks into the event dickhead kitchen manager gets dropped by his significant other and is spinning out on adderall
>we convince the GM not to fire him purely out of good will
>3 week event ends pretty seamlessly
>GM fires everyone except the dickhead manager because numbers or being under the bus
They lasted one more year then sold the business.

>>16875614
>I can't be trusted around heavy machinery I'm such a bad badass I'm so edgy
honestly u deserve paralysis based on ur posting

>>16864937
despite destroying everyone in pushups and situps, I ran 8 minute miles too anon. running long distance is fucking gay. hope things turn out alright for you.

>>16871240
absolutely based

>>16877460
For the service industry. I honetly love cooking and worked in the industry for years. But the last time I applied for a job, and the manager - beaming with pride - said they were willing to start me of at $12/hr, was enough to prompt me to finish my degree.

>>16864937
Hey man, I have spinal stenosis as well. When I got an MRI and saw a neurologist he told me I needed to have surgery (screws, rods, etc) in the next six months before the condition progressed. This was three years ago. If you can deal with the pain, start exercising and strengthen the muscles around your spine. I had a second consult with a different nuerologist who said those surgeries only work 50% of the time anyway

>>16865467
back to rebblit, you fuckin' faggot

>>16866649
You need adderol to do dishes? Kek, what a failure you are.

>>16877358
K that doesn't make it alright to be fat and slow

>>16866649
>work for old school guinea chef constantly throwing shit, punching the walls, screaming at people
>decent chef for the tourist trap we worked in and a nice enough guy most of the time but would really push things too far with people
>gets into a fight with our dishwasher one night, who also happens to be a wop but a pill popping thinks he's black kinda guy
>anyways, see chef come flying out of the dishpit followed by the dishwasher who was frisbeeing a stack of plates at the chefs head
>misses every one of course, shouts something and runs out
>everyone keks heartily, cleans up the mess and gets back to work

Best part was we all lived in employee housing and by the time someone went over to check on him he had packed his shit and was gone

>>16864911
This happened a while ago. I don't even think the 90 day probation period exists anymore.

>One of the fryer wenches is reaching his 90 day mark. He's a bit stupid, but not totally useless.
>In the 4h of his last swing shift with us, he swung a basket the wrong way without calling it, hitting me in the arm (luckily I had my sleeves down), managed to stick four orders of battered cod to the basket (two orders tops, gently floated in... first day shit), and almost reached into the fryer to grab a dropped pair of tongs (when the tong-removal tongs were kept at eye level next to the fryers), AFTER I TOLD HIM NOT TO PUT HIS HAND IN THE FRYER! I saw the look on his face, warned him, and he went to do it anyway.
As a very real danger to himself and others, I had to fire him. He went and got the executive chef for a second opinion. That second opinion? You're fired. You're a danger to yourself and others. Let us know if you need a reference - we promise we won't tell them you tried to deep fry your arm.

>>16869242
Depends more on the team since its the NCO who orders shit, but we do actually cook in our unit(we made carne asada last month and made kebabs/steaks at one point during annual training).
Original unit I was in did have a lazy NCO who ordered UGRs and "handled paperwork"/slept all morning while we worked though during AT. Suprisingly that NCO ranked up fast to SSG while the one hardworking one just became a SGT

>>16870774
I like that it's difficult. The day goes by fast since you're constantly doing shit. Plus, everybody loves you if you're a good dishie.

>short order cooking at a truck stop
>graveyard shift
>just me and a server
>explain to server that just because all the drunks come in at the same time, doesnt mean you need to put all the tickets in at once
>do the little ones 2 or 3 at a time so i have a buffer, only have so much range/grill/griddle/fryer to work with

>bar rush shows up, busy for a tuesday
>server panicks and ticket bombs me, got a 7 or 8 little ones and an 8 top in the cave
>start cooking everything at once
>get the apps out in an orderly fashion
>time it all so all 30 or 40 dishes go to the window at once
>holler at server for being slow, turn 360° and escape to the employee shitter in the back
>mfw server reeing in the distance
>mfw i have no face

>>16868711
I liked it when I was a kid because it was an easy zero skill job that paid better than my paper route and made it so I could easily shift to line cook for a higher rate and learn to cook. The only adults I worked with who were full time dishwashers were literal retards which is great for them it gives them a purpose gets them out of the house and prevents them from just being a ward of the state

>>16864911
>friends work at a restaurant
>tell me about their meth addict dishwasher who is absolutely terrible at his job, constantly leaves mid shift to smoke meth in his car, and is about to get fired
>tell me to go in and replace him
>go in next day
>get hired on the spot
>meth addict supposed to train me
>he keeps leaving to "take out the trash"
>doesn't tell me anything
>braindead job so i learn on my own
>manager asks me if i want to start cooking next day
>mfw i have no experience
>mfw i become kitchen manager in 9 months

>>16864911
>apply for dish washing job
>work Easter
>check schedule, not on it
>just call in daily to see if you are needed
On call dish washer. This was 10 years ago when employment was around 60%. Now it's 45%.
Hopefully my letter informing them that monetary assistance is cheaper than $9000/month prison for securing food and shelter; is persuasive.

>>16868695
should have shown her your bank account balance in that situation

>>16864911
God I miss dish pit so much
>get job at 16
>make friends with cooler older guys
>smoke weed in the bottle cage
>pretty sure people tried to set me up with the hot blonde hostess but I was too spergy to realize it.
God I miss it. You just get into the zone and blow through 5 hours like nothing, scrubbing away.

Everything's been downhill since I got put on the line.

>>16881377
What would that achieve? Would be extremely petty and cringe.

>>16864911
>be me
>starting my first shift as a washer
>ends shift
>chefs want to grab a beer with me
>"ok"
>"anon, you are alright. why don't you work with us in the kitchen instead?"
>next day I do my first shift as a cook

>be me, saturday night, fully booked, by myself
>10 waitresses throwing shit all over the place
>get pissed off
>dump all cutlery unsorted in a big ass tub
>keep it in the kitchen til the end of the night, put it out to polish right before clocking out
>waitress's boyfriend who was at the bar all night wants to fight me for making her finish late
>run angrychefs.exe
>manager throws bf out and bans him
kek

>>16881126
Sounds like a terrible restaurant with impossibly high turnover leading to a complete lack of consistency and standards

>>16869814
>Must be nice living a privileged life.
haha no not even close just made good life choices.

>>16871174
nope I am entirely reliant on money I earned. suck it.

>>16865636
have sex chud

>>16864911
>Dishwasher breaks
>Clock out and go home
Not my problem.

>>16867767
So THIS is biden's america..

>be me
>work in family catering business
>just me, mom and dad
>in college
>need to be professional chef to inherit family business
>start apprenticeship
>work in a pretty good restaurant
>start in vegetable washing and prep section
>kitchen is understaffed
>the lady who's in charge of the section must take 1 day a week off
>most of the time I'm alone and covering the morning shift

ESLfag, culinary vocabulary escapes me.
I spent most of my apprenticeship there, working almost as a full time employee, for free. It was still a more valuable teaching experience than the cooking school where the cooking teacher had it in for me for whatever reason.

>>16882944
checked !!

>>16867518
Why did you name the grill filters Cruz?

>>16864911
P

I know this really isn't the focus of the thread, but I just want to say I respect all you kitchen workers. I went to culinary school and it was the most miserable experience of my life. How you lads brave it, I'll never know

>>16882955
Named Cruz after Cruzito from Blood In Blood Out because they were artistic.

>>16874527
Wow. You can walk a 6 minute mile?
Do I smell bullshit or did you step in dogpoop?

>>16882944
>be me
>in cooking school
>class is me a guy my age (20 or so), a 40 yo dude and 3 old ladies
>cooking professor hates me from the get-go
>cooking school happens in late afternoon
>prof says we, the class, should organize dishwashing at the end of each session
>for 2 years it would always be me
>have no hot water
>have no detergent
>over time other classmates notice
>old ladies want to do washing duty in my stead once
>prof shoos them saying "he's young and full of energy, he's probably going clubbing after this"
>have next to no friends
>have no gf
>have to balance work at home and other obligations with this
>I'd wake up at 6 AM each day and come back home at 11 or midnight
>had only sundays off
>also the day when that happened
>it was friday 10 PM
>tomorrow I had to wake up at 5.30 AM
>to go work at the apprenticeship
>he never tasted any of our dishes
>he never instruced us before we started cooking
>he made us guys help around his stage play for autists (his side gig)
>he made me make "soup" out of sea rock

All this while at the same time attending college and said apprenticeship. I'd come to college smelling of sauteed onions and no one wanted to talk to me. Started developing migraines because of the exhaustion. One of them happened on my birthday celebration and I was basically comatose the whole night.

>>16883072
feels bad man

>work at comfy coffee doing dishes primarily
>always big sink full when I get to work
>literally clear the whole sink in about 8 minutes spotless with no machine for washing
>also have to take orders sometimes on the headset (sad face), make- a-da-drink, food etc.
>suck ass at literally every other thing except dishes and (happy face) everyone loves me for it there
>also they let me wear rubber gloves pic related
>dishies heroic and saviors of all restaurants dot jpeg

Also pic related
>Light green for dishes
>Lavender for cleaning

I work in a kitchen part time and it includes washing dishes and other things but I used to be a dishboy exclusively at a different kitchen

>>16864937
nah mate
just enjoy taking it easy for a while
you'll be back to good eventually

>>16871366
you sound like you're a massive faggot

>>16874527
I can run a mile in 5 minutes I fucking shit you not

the dishwasher is the quintessential noble savage. he has no need for intellect, living only by the strength of his body, and so is not weighed down by philosophical questions like "whose fault is this" and "is this my responsibility." the dishwasher sees a dish, he washes it, and then proceeds to the next dish. if he falls behind, rather than yelling or spitting in food, he simply puts the excess plates into the trash can, and calmly covers them with paper towels. he needs no great riches or vast harem or deeper understanding of life. he is satisfied with loud music and an hourly cigarette. truly, he lives a happier life than any of us, and in this way, perhaps he has outsmarted us all

>>16865677
>waging for 30 years
oh nonononONOHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAH

>>16875614
My current application just says that prison is $9000/month and that automated rejection will not go well for them.

Imagine being so low skilled and low educated you come on 4chan.org/ck to tell everyone about your daily adventures of being cheaper than what most restaurants already automate using machines.

Must be hard being the night soil man in the age of flush toilets and plumbing.

>>16864911
>911
hm

>>16885466
We love our Dishies! Our retaurants workers! We love our back of house they're important!

>>16885466
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDogskpmM7M

>>16869280
i hate people who stack dishes like shit. it's supposed to be simple. big flat shit goes on the very bottom. big bins on top of that. medium sized bins on top of those, smaller bins on top of those. anything that is wet or doesn't into those or fit like-on-like goes in the rinse sink, or you rinse them your fucking self before walking away you lazy motherfucker. knife edges should be placed on flat surfaces and faced against walls, if not placed on a completely separate sink. if you put knives in a sink of soapy water, you should be fired.

some people don't seem to grasp the simple concept of rinse/wash/sanitize. i get bins full of mayo or sauces stacked inside of each other, so now i have extra work of rinsing inside and outside of the bin. they'll leave sloppy saucy utensils on cutting boards or inside bins, getting sauces all over the bin instead of throwing them into a watered down bin that was going into the rinse sink anyway. takes me twice as long to clean them when my co-workers are all fucking retarded. i make sure to roast every idiotic move i see until they stop doing it but some of this shit every employee will do when they start until you tell them to stop doing it because they do not fucking think at all.

>>16864911
>working in a high end restaurant in stockholm.
>during dinner service someone places a cast iron pan over an open flame on the stove.
>chef grabs it.
>screams and rushes out of the restaurant.
>noone understands what happened, and another chef took over service.
>he proceeds to grab the same pan, but he gets lesser burns because head chefs skin is stuck on the handle.

That was not a fun shift, i can tell you.

Awhile back in my younger years.

>get job as line cook
>think I’m getting the hang of things after a week
>decided I can start living the chef life and stay out all night drinking
>go out for drinks
>get curry from a local before heading home
>took one bite
>passed out from being drunk
>wake up late
>hurry to put clothes on
>hung over as fuck
>need to fill stomach
>see curry sitting on table
>say fuck it and start eating it
>was probably sitting out for 12 hours
>get to work and still feel like shit
>think it’s still just hang over
>stomach begins to grumble
>few minutes later
>asshole blasts hot curry all down the back of my legs
>it’s pouring into my socks
>begins dripping onto the floor
>the hood vents can’t get the smell out fast enough
>other people notice the smell and shit on the floor
>get sent home
>told not to come in anymore

>>16886019
imagine the smell

>>16886019
Embarrassing moment but luckily I ended up moving and got a job at a “Mexican” restaurant.

>been working as “head” chef as it’s a small place
>front of house is all white college girls
>kitchen staff is all Mexicans and me(white)
>I seem to get along with them
>they always are speaking in Spanish
>one of the guys brings in leftovers
>said his wife makes the best tortas and I can have one
>decide to try it since it’s actual Mexican food
>finish it
>mouth and throat keep getting hotter
>stomach starts to hurt
>they’re all laughing
>”that was the spicy one”
>hands me some a glass of horchata
>mouth feels better but stomach worsens
>start to leave kitchen
>body starts to shiver
>ass starts to pour out everything
>smells of death
>starts pooling near shoe
>they’re dying of laughter
>waitress comes to window
>she begins dry heaving
>hurry to my car
>put apron on seat
>next day see text from owner saying I’m let go and need to bring apron back
>seat in car is stained and whole car smells of shit
>had to wash apron in apartment washer

>>16886465
>eats actual spicy food once and literally shits himself
This is why brownoids are always giving us grief about not being able to handle heat

>>16886494
It was really hot. I think my stomach is just sensitive because it’s happened my whole career. It sucks because I never can use any of the places as references.

>leave Mexican place to work at sports bar
>things going good
>I’ll work as a waiter from time to time
>it’s a Friday night which is busy
>have 3 tables I’m running
>go back to check how their foods coming
>see cooks fucking around
>they’re trying to race each other to see who can chug the fastest
>tell them that I need some orders
>they say I need to beat one of their times
>decide whatever if it gets them cooking
>grab one of those tall red 90s plastic cups
>they top it off with pickle juice
>they yell go
>managed to finish it in 14 seconds
>mouth burning from the vinegar
>they end up going back to finish food
>my stomach starts to hurt
>they’re complaining about their stomachs hurting
>grab food and hustle it out to the tables
>hear an “oh fuck” from the back
>moments later the smell starts to come into the bar
>then all of a sudden it feels like I got kicked in the stomach
>my ass let’s out the loudest wet fart followed by liquid shit
>customers upset and all start leaving
>manager pissed
>sits us all down in the back and get an ass chewing
>got wrote up but that’s about it

>>16886638
Last story for the night. As embracing as it is, I’ve shit my pants 8 times at jobs.

>having problem sleeping
>read that magnesium should help
>took 300mg the night before and slept alright
>head to morning shift at diner
>before the rush comes in I’m drinking coffee
>find magnesium packet in my pocket
>decide what the hell and mix it in with my coffee
>tastes slightly funky but want to up my magnesium
>rush starts and I’m wired
>running around topping off peoples cups
>stomach rumbles
>figure it’s because I haven’t eaten
>lunch break will be coming up
>pound another cup of coffee to keep the high going
>stomach really starts to ache
>as I’m topping a persons cup off I feel my ass start to flutter
>I start to squeeze my cheeks
>turn and try to walk away but struggle with cheeks clenched
>someone calls me over for a refill
>get there and all hell breaks loose
>loudest farts followed by a big shit
>customers have clear look of disgust
>speed walk to back
>chunk broke off and was on the floor next to a table
>one of the customers was a health inspector (luckily not working)
>ended up being put in the back

>>16871351
Sell house for let's say 500k. That's about 17 years if I decide to live off of 30k a year. I do so now at like less than 12k. My dad has at least a mil in various accounts. Yeah being retired at 24 or whenever it was is nice so far now that I'm 35.

>>16874924
I've tried and was denied bc I was white. Nigger wanted me to provide 2 years of bank statements.

>>16876870
Some people fake mental disability for the free ride. I know a few of em and it's sad that people that actually need it gets denied

>>16869831
you're pathetic

>>16871427
lol, gonna have to remember the fuck marry kill strategy

>>16864937
>I think I’m gonna be in a wheelchair in the next couple of years and it’s emasculating to have to file for disability
File for disability now. Play up your injuries. Maybe then you can enjoy the rest of your life a little bit instead of having to work until you're a literal cripple first.

>>16885438
>prison is $9000/month
Where the fuck do you live where prisoners are paid that much?

>>16886728
>As embracing as it is, I’ve shit my pants 8 times at jobs.
Jfc those are some weak genes. Please don't have children who will experience the same issues of pants shitting that you went through.

>>16887357
>I know a few of em
If you don't call them out on their bullshit at every opportunity you are weak and just as guilty as them.

>>16885868
>dishwashed at high end restaurants for 4+ years, as well as years experience in other restaurants
>had a pocket rag because sautee handles can get ridiculously hot from the handle sitting over an adjacent burner
>not noticing cast iorn specifically
>not treating evey pan like it's hot

I miss being a professional dishwasher sometimes, but then I remember the rotating circus of fucking drugged up maniacs you'd have to work with and "manage", i.e. do all the work for when they did the expected no show for $1 more an hour.

>>16871391
where do you apply for this job?

>>16885306
Lost

>>16886728
Things that did not happen

>>16869681
I work in a Michelin star restaurant so people are usually impressed but I feel like if I told people i'm just a chef no one would give a fuck

>chef complains that no one should be on welfare and we should all have full time jobs
>oh of course there's no positions at his work, he means somewhere else

>be me
>washing dishes
>more dishes come
>wash them
>shift ends
>go home

>>16885306

>mfw I'm a busser and made 2k on my check for the last 2 weeks
Feels nice lads

>>16864937
dont believe what the doctors tell you
start taking vitamin k2 mk4 with vitamin d and calcium and magnesium. keep your metabolism up, live off your disability and explore your passions. you'll make it.

>>16866694
the more you talk the more you tell everyone here how pathetic you are
you basicaly said anyone over 18 who washes dishes has more strength than you for persevering

>>16887542
You will never be a woman

>>16890331
Undeniably based

>>16886728
this doesn't seem real at all

bumpin'

>>16885849
I know that feel bro.
>be on the line doing my thing
>gigantic clatter of noise behind me
>it's a whole bunch of bullshit being spilled all over the fucking place. again.
>i got cracked plates, glasses, the whole nine yards
Like literally just set the shit over there and don't break fucking everything, for once, how the fuck hard is that

>>16890331
I have a lot of respect for people who are actually really good and dedicated in the dish pit.
That shit sucks, but it's gotta get done, and it makes everything else a thousand times easier when it actually does get done.
I have no problem going back there and doing it myself, but my buddy on the line is the type that tends to fucking disappear when the orders start stacking up, so I just can't, because I've got orders coming in and the kitchen is suddenly a fucking ghost town.
I hate this fucking constantly grinding gears shit. It takes bare minimum, 30 seconds to go from pre-oven production to RTE production because I have to wash up again and get some gloves on.
I just literally can't be at every fucking station at all times, no matter how much I want to.

>>16869681
why do that?
why not get handiJ in the cold room instead?
zoomers are all incels.

>>16864937
Shut the fuck up Cole

>>16882694
>Completely reliant on money he earned
>Lives with parents

Ok virgin

b8

>>16877460
If you're over 21 you should be earning $30/hr minimum. Over 25 and you should be getting $50/hr

>>16898592
Not everyone is like that

>>16873800
people think I'm a severe autist but im just a raging alky with a massive hangover that doesnt want to deal with people

>>16880839
so I have no idea how cooking works, but can't you just pick up whatever tickets you want? why do you have to pick up all the tickets at the same time if the server puts them up?

>>16867518
Horrifying

>>16886019
>>16886465
>>16886638
>>16886728
pretty sure you're larping but hilarious nonetheless, good show

>>16879650
I don't but let me tell you about Cocaine and doing the dishes
>be me
>doing the cooks life
>getting drunk and stoned every night
>come into work after a heavy bender
>got some white shit to help
>finish m y day at in the kitchen I work
> goto sign out
>Junior Chef tells me to jump in dishpit
>I protest
>not getting my way
>fine, just give me a smoke break and I'll jump in
>Ok, fine.
>go to the tranny bathroom/family room
>do a few lines of white stuff on the changing station
>come out the bathroom
>I'M READY TO CLEAN!

I destroyed that dishpit. Imagine a guy going crazy on each dish with a super heated dish hose.

>>16899404
It only really happens at bars .
A real fully staffed place will have a GM that (hopefully) spent some time as a cook.
If it does happen to you, you should look at the ticket times and make your own buffer.
>be me
>first gig as a line cook
>ticket machines is going off like crazy
>Chef notices and grabs a brick like item
>grabs all the tickets and puts them under the brick
>we'll worry about these guys later
>continue doing the first batch of tickets

>>16874934
>Anon can't even hack it as a dishwasher, the easiest, most mindless job in the world
>Maybe he should drive ten ton trucks!

>>16899404
>can't you just pick up whatever tickets you want?
in the event of a ticket bomb yes, but sometimes this leads to customers getting pissy because they ordered before other tables but had to wait longer, especially if they've ordered the same dish. also more retarded servers will sometimes take all the orders for their section THEN put the tickets on, in which case you have to hope they put the first tables ticket on first otherwise you will have no idea who has been waiting longest. i dont think they realize that there is only so much physical space to cook things and that you can't always cook things in batches because otherwise half the shit will end up going out cold. either that or they don't realise that you could have the starters cooking or ready for the first tables in the time it took them to take all the orders.
the only other reason they do it is to save themselves a few trips to the register between tables which is fucking infuriating
>teehee OMG sorry but its so busy out there haha :)
it is funny when you actually blast the food out and they have a melt down over having to run 20 plates at once but that can also lead to fuck ups when they take things to the wrong tables, especially when substitutions and allergies are involved

>>16864937
Dude, get the fucking disability, how is this even a decision? Are you out of your fucking mind?

>>16871240

>>16864911

the next day was all you can eat pancake day at whataburger and they made me make all the fucking pancake mix, 2/3rds of the way finishing I just started adding more water to the mix so it would stir faster. I wasn't even given a machine I was doing it with my bare hands like I lived in romania or someshit.

>>16885306

>>16885306
>the dishwasher is the quintessential noble savage
my sides

>>16900874
like, with a whisk? wow, what a nightmare. if you think that is rough, I can see why you are still on dishie.

>>16900874
No mixing machine?

>>16885306
lmao

Does literally every dishbitch pick up smoking just to have an excuse to go on a break like everyone else? I've heard of so many places where smokers simply get to run off for 5min 2-6 times a day without getting chewed out for it. Non-smokers cannot do the same without repercussions.