/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16863262
If it takes more than 15-20 minutes, you're doing it wrong

>>16863286
/thread

>>16863262
If spending an hour doing something is too much commitment for you, then you need to reevaluate your life.

>>16863302
I live alone and cook only for myself. I like trying new recipes but I'm not interesting in babysitting a pan for an hour. Casseroles are an exception because I can throw it in the oven and forget about it.

>>16863262
how do you caramelize them to that consistency? is it a lot of butter or something?

>>16863308
you can do it with no oil at all, you just move it around a lot

>>16863308
No, it's literally stirring them nonstop for an hour. If you walk away, they'll burn. If you try to save yourself some time and put the pan in the oven, they'll burn.

>>16863320
i've caramelized them before, just never like that.

>>16863322
oh that sounds exhaustive

>>16863302
>said the virgin with unlimited time

Holy shit

Holy fucking shit

I should make an onion carmelizing gadget. How fucking hard could it be?

>>16863336
You'd make a killing. Like that egg cracking thing.

>>16863339
Yeah exactly. All it really needs to be is a container with a heating element and a stirrer of some kind, right? Switch it on and let it run for an hour or two and retrieve them.

>>16863286
If you think it's ready after only 20 minutes, you're doing it wrong.

>>16863342
You'd have to balance the stirring mechanism somehow. Maybe adjustable clamps for either side of the pan?

>>16863349
I was thinking a box of sorts with a heating element on the bottom, with a thick lid that contains the stirring motor. It shouldn't need to be as heavy duty as a kitchen mixer like pic related since it's just pushing onions around.

>>16863336
should've kept the idea to yourself. now you have to make it quickly before anyone else capitalizes on the idea.

>>16863360
Make the motor plastic and you'd save big on assembly. 'Course they'd turn to dust after a month of dedicated use but hey, you already have the money.

>>16863325
>i've caramelized them before, just never like that.
ok so just keep going longer and they'll get there

>>16863375
is it worth it though? i mean 30 minutes provides good enough results, and that was for a thanksgiving dish.

>>16863374
Definitely, I was thinking of selling it as a cheap kitchen gadget that people buy impulsively.
>>16863371
>Implying I wouldn't invent the superior onion caramelization machine.

>>16863381
I mean they're definitely tasty but worth it? Eeeeehhhh...
>>16863382
"Three easy payments of $19.99!"
Shit costs you six bucks in parts and labor. Half that if your factory is in, like, Ecuador.

>>16863382
i genuinely wish you the best in your endeavors

>>16863286
if it's taking the dumb cunt an hour he's probably trying to use a hair dryer or a clothes iron or something like that.

but this is also a board that thinks it's impossible to cook dinner in 15min so.....

>>16863381
depends on how valuable your time is
if I'm cold in the winter and don't have work I might do it and watch a tv show on my laptop in the kitchen. it's pretty nice. always wish I made more but you can only put so much in a pan.

>>16863384
>Eeeeehhhh...
that's exactly what i was thinking

>>16863402
i can only see it worth it going that extra mile for a dish that others will eat. but if it's just me? about 20-30 minutes is good enough for me.

>>16863360
Put them inside a rotating barrel, kind of like a cement mixer. Heat the barrel.

>>16863322
>>16863325
you don't have to literally stir nonstop that's exaggeration, just do it while prepping other things/cleaning up. i do it for burgers and sushi because those things are just a lot of small things to prep so i can constantly go back to stir.

>>16863424
maybe i'll give it a try this weekend and make something good with it.

>>16863422
I could see that yeah. Barrel for the onions, wrapped with heating element like pic related, with another insulating shell around that? But you'd have to deal with the rotation potentially getting in the way of the connections, so maybe you would want the heating elements built into the outer shell, while the inner shell/barrel spins independently.

>>16863438
Well it couldn't just be a spinning barrel because the onions wouldn't agitate like that. It would have to shake them too. Unless the barrel spins at, like, 400 RPM...

But that kind of defeats the purpose of a cheap unitasker for housewives to blow money on.

>>16863457
From what I know about barrel machines like that, specifically from those Lofty Pursuits youtube videos about remaking the tangerine sours, is that installing some fins inside the barrel usually does a pretty decent job at agitating the dry contents and making them properly mix over each other, but I think you still have a point and there would be onions stuck to the side once they started to sweat. Are there any examples of spinning barrel machines with an arm inside to scoop at the edges? Though at that point it's probably easier to just go with the box idea if I'm going to end up putting a stirrer in there.

>>16863482
Or better yet, what if we just coated the inside of the barrel with something non-stick? If I coat the interior in silicon and make sure to have the instructions say to add some oil or fat, then combined with the fins it should be able to agitate without much issue right?

>>16863498
I have an image in my head of this barrel having a bunch of little teeth that move back and forth on tracks to agitate the onions... but goddamn does this sound like a pain in the ass compared to a plastic stick that spins on a cheap motor.

>>16863336
It already exists, it's called a fucking microwave

>>16863262
I do mine nice and slow. Several hours for a couple kilos of onions in the big pot. It's not like I have to stand there and stare at them the whole time.

Can you even buy caramelised onions pre-made? That sounds nasty.

>>16863360
>lid

>>16864369
Probably. You can buy pre-cut garlic for Christ's sake.

>>16863262
It's really only worth it if you're making something that requires a huge amount of it, if I want caramelized onions on a burger I'll go to five guys, but if I'm making french onion soup then I'll do it properly.

>>16863262
1 hour+ caramelization is for pussies who are afraid of burning stuff.
same as a roux, 1 hour to fully brown that thing? fuck no 15 minutes is enough if you are not a little bitch

>>16863322
>as the sugars concentrate and they'll be a lot more likely to burn. let em.
t. alton brown

how thick to cut my onions? ive done it before and made em too thin and they turn into shit

>they don't use their rice cooker to caramelize their 4 lb onions with appropriate amount of baking soda, steering once in a while, getting the rest going in the meantime
Guys...

>>16864904
The thinnest if you want the taste quickly, less thin if you want texture

>>16863302
Man I miss being a child who has all the time in the world. Hold onto it as long as you can anon

>>16863262
>It takes an HOUR to caramelize onions?!
what? is your stove broken?
>This is why people buy their food in jars.
Did you mean cans? also you can buy caramelized onions?

>>16865050
You totally can and no, I've only seen it in jars. Cans and jars aren't the same, Scooter.

Work smarter not harder.
Instead of carmalizing a pitiful amount of onions each time you need it for a recipe, make a huge batch in a slow cooker. The low level of heat means they won't burn and you don't have to sit watch over it stirring them endlessly. Freeze whatever you don't use and thaw as needed.

>>16863336
Use a jam maker (yes they exist).

>>16863349
Air-fryers have already solved it.
Two rotating paddles that stir from the bottom, out to the edges.

>>16864854
I've never heard of a roux taking more than a couple minutes to cook what the fuck are you on about?

>>16865234
I read that as "carnalizing a pitiful amount of onions" and I think a new fetish was born.

>>16865269
Dark rouxs take 45+ minutes, if you don't make Cajun food you've probably never needed to make one.

>>16865315
The only thing I know about cajun food is that you put celery in it.

>>16863344
10-15 max over medium heat. Sprinkle like 1/8 to 1/4 tsp baking powder over the onions. By increasing the pH level you're speeding up the maillard reaction and they'll brown quickly.

>>16864904
1/4 inch

I generally won't cook anything that takes longer than an hour, that's kind of why I'm forced to get takeout all the time

>>16865552
Nigger there are like a million things you could make that take less than an hour, if you are just a lazy fuck who wants to eat takeout all the time go for it but don't pretend anything is forcing you to do it.

>>16865546
>just sprinkle chemicals and turn your home made caramelized onions into toxic processed crap
no ty.

>>16863342
Just make an ice cream machine with a heating element instead. Or a hand crank popcorn thing and just slap a small weak electric motor with a raspberry pi controller or something. Or stir your fucking pot.

>>16864924
poorfag

salmonella thread

>>16863262

Americans are NOT people. How many times does this need to be said.

>>16866057

I hate how he makes those of us who aren't very well off feel shit for not buying real Parmesan. It can't be that much of a difference, cheese is cheese right?

>>16865204
where food preservation is concerned they are. skippy.

>>16866083
Says the man who has to walk six miles for fresh water every day.

>>16866083
rent free

>>16863399
A proper dinner of protein(s), veggies, starch/carbs, palate cleanser, and a dessert will take a minimum of 1 hour and that's assuming there's minor prep work already done.

See, people that say they can cook a full dinner in 15 minutes mean they can cook instant mashed potatoes, sear a steak, and dump a can of peas in a pot.
But just good, homemade mashed potatoes takes a minimum of 15 minutes.
Unless you're the type of person that DOESN'T count prep as part of cooking, to which cooking means only the most literal of 'when there's heat and food and I wait for the perfect time to remove food from heat'
In which case you'll have gross chili, tough meat, underproved bread, sloppy veggies, and the sugars in any fruit sauces you've made will separate leaving a syrupy mess with no flavor behind.
This is why American websites for recipes are all bunk. They buy prepackaged goods, processed foods, jarred vegetables, minced garlic, and their bread is full of sugar instead of gluten. They churn it all together onto a plate in 15 minutes flat, eat it in 5 minutes while watching a commercial between handegg pitches, and then spend the next 48 hours shitting out hemorrhoid inducing logs full of discolored streaks and wiping their stinging assholes with tree bark products wondering why they're diagnosed with rectal cancer at 32.

>>16866504
the old guy looks like he has caucasoid features but the youngin looks like your average big lipped flat nosed nigga, how is it possible?
do africans turn white when they get old and their body stop producing so much adrenaline

>>16867814
on average there isn't actually physically much difference between people with different skin tones. you can find as much physical variety within one color as between different colors.

>>16867824
Wrong. Attractive features are white features. It's that simple.

>>16863322
just every few minutes, its easy to do while you do veg prep at the other side of the bench. or get a chair, put a movie on and enjoy your time while you stir

>>16867804
you must be thinking of full sit down roast dinner or something, a stir fry will come together in 20 minutes including prep, steak and roast potatoes in 30(most of that is just the potatoes)
a curry/stew will take 2 hours but over half of that is passive simmering
theres plenty of meals that dont take long and plenty that do

>>16867871
curry takes like 25 minutes if you're taking it easy and you use a curry paste.
depends on the curry I guess.

>>16867878
all depends on the meat, chicken is ready as soon as its cooked through, but lamb should be simmered until tender

>>16867824

>>16867824
lol

As a friendless NEET in lockdown i'm ok cooking it for an hour for dinner for my mom and dad, I love cooking and have nothing better to do
I like making onion soup :)

>>16863336
you mean a slow cooker?

>>16867991
Based cooker for parents
This was by last onion soup

>>16868079
Nice, I love having my bread like that but what herb?
I usually just do garlic and some cheese
>spend 3 hours total cooking on the day some classical dish
>parents say it's ok and don't really mention it
>spend 40-60 minutes cooking a dish
>dad comes up to me and tells me it was great and he had seconds, mom asks me to cook it again
It's not fair bros...

>>16868090
>What herb
I can't remember, it was most likely Parsley

>>16863438
Kitchen gadgets with only one use should be avoided at all costs.

>>16868450
a knife is only for cutting

>>16867824
the problem with this statement is that it refers to variance among africans.
because humanity came from africa, there is one universal ancestor that all later non-africans came from.
so if you are comparing the variance between blacks, yeah there's a ton of variance.
but the intra-racial variance of anyone but blacks is always less than the variance between races.
as in, the genetic diversity of whites, and the genetic diversity of asians, is a lesser diversity than the diversity BETWEEN whites and asians.

but that's not the case with blacks, because whites to blacks, or asians to blacks, is less than blacks to blacks.
because all non-africans came from africa.

>>16866010
It's baking powder, dumbass

>>16868473
I smash garlic with mine

Browning onions =/= caramelizing onions. If you think you can do it in 15mins you're not caramelizing onions.

>>16867804
>A proper dinner
>dessert

Well you're retarded but I can cook a full pasta dish with vegetables in 20 minutes max including prep if I feel like it, and there's plenty of other quick meals that can be made in well under an hour. If you're a literal child who thinks din din isn't real if it's not chunk of meat + potatoes on side + steamed veggies + ice cream if you're a good boy who eats all his peas then go back to eating Burger King every night, it's the right choice for you.

>>16868783
The browning is quite literally caramelization. There's different levels to which onions can be caramelized for sure, but if they're turning brown then they are caramelized.

Also you can caramelize the fuck out of onions in a microwave if you're lazy and in a hurry, I don't personally recommend it though.

>>16868797
>The browning is quite literally caramelization.
Scientifically yes, culinarily no. Try to make French onion soup with your 15mins "caramelized" onions. I blame retarded American recipes that confuse browned and caramelized onions.

>>16868090
Why is that not a good feel? I get that it feels awesome to spend a long time perfecting something but being able to cook something delicious quickly is much more impressive and practical. Good job anyways anon.

>>16868797
This, but OPs picture was of that jellification effect that occurs when you brown onions for a long fucking time.

>>16866010
>chemicals
>baking powder
Do you eat bread?