/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16829717
Rest in peace icecream

LMAO imagine taking crap from high school kids. OP is a cuck.

>>16829717
>not using self checkout
Ngmi

>be me
>working at grocery store with my friend
>some fat retard with a cart full of junk food shows up
>we waste his time and make his frozen goyfeed melt
>laugh as he waddles out of the store

>>16829725
At that point what do you do? If you get mad they enjoy themselves even more. If you get the manager, you’re a karen. Genuinely asking what you would do.

>>16829740
Get the fucking manager, who cares what other people think?

>>16829740
Wait till they packed up everything then say you don't want it anymore.

>>16829740
"Karen" is not a pejorative. It describes a positive behavioral trait.

>>16829726
there's no self checkout in that supermarket, you have to go through the slow as fuck cashier system.

>>16829740
I had a cashier tell me to take my things off the belt and they proceeded to spray who the fuck knows what kind of cleaning solution all over it.
I said what the fuck?
They said yeah what the fuck?
I left my cart full of stuff and walked out.

>>16829765
I'd do this, but flip the cart.

>>16829765
>>16829766
The last time I did this everyone else in line behind me started slow clapping and removed their store mandatory masks.

The cashier at my grocery store is a like 13 year old girl, so I can never get mad at her making mistakes or making conversation.

>>16829717
>go to trader joes for first time in a decade because one opened near me
>no self-checkout
>go to a lane
>cashier comments on every other item and how much people love them
i didn't get my grocery list based on a popularity poll bro

>>16829809
sometimes they are paid to do that tho

>>16829809
>>16829812
This, they are trained to do that. the kid really doesn't give a fuck about what you eat enough to comment.

>>16829763
Good. They actually care to keep people employed.

>bag boy
You 've been asking for it for decades you fat fuck.

>>16829837
>bag person
okay, okay, sorry about that.

>>16829740
>If you get the manager, you’re a karen

Who gives a fuck what wagies think. Don't throw a fit and be an asshole about it, but it's well within reason to complain. I would return my melted ice cream on the spot too.

>go to hippie supermarket my buddy works at
>he uses a fake chinese accent to greet me with "OHHH HERRO ANON!"
>get really scared that he's going to lose his job because some angry bald-ass Moby looking guy in one of those cyclist gimpsuits is glaring at us the whole time

>>16829871
you should have kissed him, the bald guy would think you both are gay and ignored the racist comment.

>>16829871
>two white guys doing yellowface
Uncle roger needs to be stopped!

>>16829871
>>16829879
>>16829886
lol

>>16829858
>>16829744
Do you ask them to get their manager or do you go find the manager. What would you tell them?

>>16829879
But I don't want to kiss him, he's got Pepsi teeth.

>>16829925
if you ask for the manager they will always say "the manager is not here at the moment" so the only solution is taking a huge shit on an aisle and let the wagie clean it up

>>16829717
i would've waited for them to bag everything then just leave without paying. next time don't let them mess with you like that OP, it's not right.

>>16829740
i wouldnt care

>go to the grocery store
>friendly hippie at checkout, shoot the bull with him
>he makes a joke about how the meat I got is poison
>share a laugh and go about my way

>>16830650
>shoot the bull with him
>>he makes a joke about how the meat I got is poison
I've heard of "you pick" orchards but never a "you slaughter" butcher.

>>16829740
Physically perk myself up and ask them to speed it up
Ask them how they are doing

>>16829950
Thats how you go to jail.

The grocery store in my old neighborhood used to have a retarded bagger, he was probably 40 and had worked there for years so most folks were used to him. He would always comment on everything people bought, usually enthusiastically in a really loud voice on the most embarrasing items.
>Wow, that's a big ol' box of tampons!
>That hydrogen peroxide will help clear up athlete's foot real good!
>You just bought beer yesterday! An you an alcoholic?

>>16830701
lol fuck off, they don't even arrest you for actually stealing shit from the store anymore

>>16830650
>person providing me food jokes he is poisoning me
>haha that practical jokester
Uhhh you aren't really keen on survival instinct here.

>>16830727
if you can define an instinct, it's not an instinct, just trying to make what you want autistic folks to think is instinctual to be the normal.
>what made you make that decision that wound up saving your life?
>i dunno
that's instinct
>what made you make that decision that wound up saving your life?
>something i was tought or experience
that's not instinct

>>16830710
That's crazy lol, if you record this it will be comedy gold!

>>16830701
haha yea okay no theft, i just "forgot my wallet in the car"

>>16830710
>Wow, that's a big ol' box of tampons!
Ha ha ha.
Baste.

>>16830926
Unfortunately that store closed down, but I heard from a friend of mine who still works for that chain that the bagger dude still works for them at a store on the other side of town. I might make a trip over there one day just for the laughs, the guy was hilarious and the reactions he got from the more tight ass customers were priceless.

>>16830937
Awesome lol, I won't careless what people think about my purchases, I get small talk all the time from general customers, but I am conscious when it's a hottie girl giggles about my bachelor buys.

>>16830934
The reaction back would be the priceless part, like oh these aren't for me!? Their for my friend.

>>16829804
>13 year old girl
what

>>16829731
Based.

>>16829717
>shopping for groceries late at night at walmart
>roll up to cashier with a cart full of stuff
>begin putting groceries on the belt
>hamplanet cashier quietly watching
>finish putting all my groceries on the belt
>she says: 'this lane is closed, you have to move your stuff over to the next one' and trundles over to the next lane
>me: 'but your light was on and why didn't you say anything when I was emptying my cart?'
>she doesn't say anything and stares at me with an imperious look on her face
>fuck this, i'll just get my groceries tomorrow from a different store
>start walking out
>shrill shrieks of: 'YOU JUST HAVE TO MOVE TO A DIFFERENT LANE, OH MY GAAAAAWWD' behind me
>leave
and that was also the last time i've ever been to a walmart

>>16831091
your first mistake was grocery shopping at a walmart nonetheless that hambeast deserves a kick in the stomach

>>16831099
I know, but they were the only place that was open at the time.

>>16831091
Oh yeah fellow late night shopper, know imagine what havoc that would of caused in the daytime.

>ehehe anon, i love these can i have some
>No. I purchased it for the house. These are my groceries for the week. They must last me.

>>16829757
>Bitching is a positive behavioral trait
Can't wait to tell my girlfriend

>>16829871
Kek ur friend sounds based

"How much do you make here kid?"

Just smile when you ask. It's hilarious. Socially acceptable as small talk, but you have no idea how much this bothers little faggots in retail. It works so much better if you glance at the female coworker after he answers, like there's an inside joke to his minimum wage rate admission. I had this explained to me by an autistic student of mine who said it drove him nuts for days.

>>16832028
smooth moves, schlomo

wait until they're done scanning and then just walk off, you're not legally obligated to finish the transaction.

>>16829828
Hiring employees that don't do their jobs and waste people time. Fuck off.

>>16831091
This better be real, because somebody is gonna have to put those item back. based

wear headphones and dont respond to anything they say, or just maintain constant eye contact in silence as they try to do smalltalk

>>16829717
This didn't happen. It was a schizophrenic delusion at best. Saged.

learn the sign language gestures for "sorry im deaf". also learn "leave me alone" just in case they also know sign language and try to keep chatting

>>16832263
Really, having “i’m deaf” cards in your pocket would be more effective. Keep “i’m also retarded” in another pocket if they turn out to be deaf too.

>>16829717
nice blog and buy a fucking cooler retard

>>16830884
>if you can define an instinct, it's not an instinct
insane logic

>>16833497
what? because patterns after luck because memory?

>>16832028
it's not socially acceptable small talk and you're likely autistic as well

this happened to be it was real in my mind

>>16829717
>wait for them to finnish scanning
>"yeah you're right this stuff is unhealthy i dont want it anymore"
>leave
>wagies have to put it back on the shelves

>>16833564
its acceptable for me, and thats all that really matters

>>16832028
Asking about a person's income is one of the least socially acceptable queries possible. Right up there with age.

>>16833797
ok boomer

>>16833084
he would if you fuck his wife

Just stare at them expressionless. Normies shut the fuck up the second you don't engage in their retarded smalltalk.

>>16829717
>buying my usual 8 cans of steel reserve and some food
>"having a party, huh?"

>things that never happened

>>16829717
Ages ago I worked in Aldi and actually had to teach one of our new hires not to do that.
Like, isn't is pretty common sense that you don't tell the fat girl who buys a 2-liter of cola every day that she drinks too much cola?
Shouldn't an adult man be able to figure out you don't ask the guy who was waiting for us to open so he could buy a sixpack of strong lager at if he's having a party?

I had to get out of there. I didn't mind the actual work they made me do there but being around stupid people all day was driving me insane.

>go to supermarket for beer
>get ID'd
>forgot ID
>cashier being difficult about it
>throw a fit and just leave all my shit there and walk off
>go home and seethe
>brother comes home, laughs at me
>tell him I have the last laugh
>took a shit in his bed
>he was the cashier

>>16829717
That cashier is way too dolled up.

>be shopping at walmart
>it's in a bad neighborhood known for shoplifting, so they have employees check your receipts and cart before you leave. straight up orwellian shit
>pay for my groceries, don't give a fuck because i'm not a criminal
>walk right past the receipt guy, he can't do shit except yell out "sir? sir? sir? sir?" a hundred times as i exit the store

>accidently leave a 3 pack of floss in the cart, forgot to pay for it
>old guy at the exit notices im about to leave it behind
>start to take it back to go pay for it
>"ahhh its no big deal man, just take it an go"

>>16833995
Good

>>16833995
Good, one time they tried to accuse me of stealing beer because the retard couldn't read the receipt right ever since then when they asked me if they can check my receipt I just say no and keep walking. the fuck are they going to do about it ban me from the store?

>>16833995
I wonder how many thefts that actually prevents. I'd expect thieves to just do what you did. Is some minimum wagecuck really going to run after you? Would the police even give a shit? Seems like all this would do is humiliate both the workers and the customers that don't steal.

>>16830884
Based evolutionary psychology denier.

>>16830701
You can't get in trouble for that shit. People forget their wallet or simply can't afford what they got all the time. It's an inconvenience to the employees, but there's nothing they can do.

>>16830721
Some black guy got arrested in my area for trying to steal a shopping cart full of toilet paper. And this was before the run on TP in 2020.

>>16834144
I did this when I was stealing from walmart. I had a jacket stuffed with stuff and the alarm even went off and this little indian woman kept calling after me but I just hustled out of there and pretended not to hear her.

>>16829824
why

>>16829740
Just ask to hurry it along, tell them you're in a rush.
You're the customer, it's their job to make your experience pleasing.

I avoided a specific cashier's line at Kroger last time I was there for this reason. Maybe I don't want to be trapped in a 10-15 minutes conversation about my groceries. Maybe I just want a normal experience. I will be kind and smile and share the occasional quip but some cashiers overdo it. They strike me as pathetic. I get it, your kids don't call and you are super lonely and sad working full time cashier at Kroger in your late 50's but that isn't my fucking problem

>>16833995
If you stop you are a cuck. I never stop.

>>16829717
I had some chubby gay bag boy (around 20) say about my frozen pizza, “Oh, so you’re having pizza without me again!” And he said it in one of those flame gay accents and it was so obvious that he wanted me to book him. If a straight bag boy did that to a woman he’d get fired for harassing a customer.

>>16834504
Dare you to lodge a complaint

>>16834504
unless he was handsome kek

>>16829740
Ask them how they're doing.

Kids generally assume everyone's an NPC. It's not a bad thing, but you have to reframe their shituation.

>>16834504
>If a straight bag boy did that to a woman he’d get fired for harassing a customer.
I've had male bag boys hit on my mom throughout my childhood and they still do it to my female friends.
Everybody has a laugh. It's like when you buy flowers and the girl cashier jokes that they're for her, you play along and have fun- you don't start screaming "THEY'RE FOR MY FRIEND'S GRAVE YOU EVIL FUCKING CUNT".

>>16829749
Truthfully, I'd do this. I wouldn't even say it, though. I'd wait until they read the total, then walk out.

>>16833835
>Buying beer for myself for the weekend
>It's an eighteen pack and a twelve pack
>Old black guy goes "Damn I want to roll where you're rolling, man, u got the GOODS!"
Should've invited him to watch a movie or play some Vidya lol

>>16833995
I did this during height of covid panic when I walked in the "exit" side because the "entrance" side was like a 200 foot long roller coaster line of railing
Lady was screaming at me and I just "what, what did I do?" And kept walking

>>16833835
>buy my weekly handle of Wild Turkey 101
>guy behind me in line asks "Are you gonna drink all of that?"
>I just say "I'm gonna try"
>he just goes "Damn..."

>>16835782
Based. Respecting your neighbors is a load of leftist cuck bullshit.

>>16833995
>be black
>be grocery shopping at walmart
>they check everyone's receipts no matter what
>I accuse them of being racist anyway just to see how they react
It's always funny watching people stutter and get flustered. I can't believe it's the worst thing you can be called for some people. I've also met my best friends by doing this same thing and they either didn't care or called me a nigger.

>>16835958
>also met my best friends by doing this same thing and they (...) called me a nigger.
>hey! are you checking my receipt because I'm black >:(?
>No, you fucking nigger
>ha ha, we're best friends now
The fuck?
I'm pretty autistic but this progression sounds wrong.

>>16836116
No, I've met some of my best friends by accusing them of being racist when they say or do something innocuous, then I gauge their reaction. The receipt thing was a separate story.

>>16834842
This guy gets it, it's amazing how people are so uptight and are triggered over nothing, I myself have embarrassing flashbacks over my bad mood, taking it out on easy targets, but you learn from mistakes.

>>16829717
>why the fuck people do this?
they don't you lied.

>>16834493
>I never stop.
if the alarms at the door go off I just keep walking no one has ever stopped me. of course I am white.

>>16829717
This didn't happen

>>16829717
lol you got bullied by retail cucks looool

>>16829740
I'd just walk away. I thought about it the other day when this guy was taking forever, but ultimately decided I had nothing else to do anyway.

>>16829717
Nobody in retail should be doing that. Call the manager and let him know that he hired a couple of worthless faggots.

>>16833786
I like this one, because it really shows people's true colours. You're not going to upset me by making me do my job, if I didn't like it I'd just up and walk out the door. I will admit, however, you're going to make the majority of employees pissy with that move. It just fails when it's attempted on me.

I was a janitor once and there was vomit on the ground or something and I was about to mop it up when some guy walked by and said that I shouldn't have to do that. I wasn't wearing a uniform so I told him that I worked here and I was the janitor.

"It doesn't matter, it's not fair that you should have to clean it up." He said. I told him that not only did I not have any clue who made the mess, but I can't force people to just clean up things because slavery is illegal. He reiterated that it wasn't fair that I had to clean that up and someone else should do it.

"..but... I'm the janitor. I am the someone else who cleans things up. I don't see how it's unfair that I have to do my job?"

Buddy just walked off instead of replying, should have known better than to think I'd just nod my head and agree with whatever nonsense he decided to spout that day.

>do you have a phone number with us
NO
>do you want to sign up?
NOOOOOO
>do you want to donate a dollar to-
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>okay now see where i'm circling your receipt? it's a survey and it only takes 5 minutes but it helps us out-
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!