/ck/ - Food & Cooking

no

>>16794396
only if you shop a black dick between her hands

>>16794396
That soi Bois having real trouble folding that pizza lmao fucking faggots

>>16794399
fpwp

>>16794608
Jesus.

>>16794608
This really has to be fake

>>16794654
i wouldnt put it past them

>>16794396
This doesn't warrant any attention whatsoever, I don't know why a video about it was even made.

>>16794579
Stupid

>>16794654
Of course it is. Kind of shitty to waste that much meat for a stupid video.

>>16794396
Is this the great culinary exceptionalism that new yorkers aren't capable of shutting the fuck up about? How I long to one day move there and marvel over the wonderful innovations of the big city.

>>16794654
It has a tiktok mark, so probably is.

>>16794396
I was gonna call OP food retarded but then he cut it and now I want it.

>>16794654
Maybe, maybe not; when it comes to food, lower class nogs tend to be ludicrously germaphobic so it's not unbelievable that this guy actually does this.

>>16794608
It's disgusting to know how low some people would go just to feel validated in social media.

>>16794702
Where it all began...

>>16794806
The road to becoming Egg king wasn't all sunshine and rainbows...

>>16794396
Wasn't that done as a joke in Hot Shots?

>>16794702
He's so surly

>>16794800
Why would you use something so needlessly complicated in the first place?

>>16794862
I gave up on cranked can openers years ago and have used these since.

>>16794579
I'd rather just have that rib with none of the rest of the shit.

>>16794862
Those are the standard here in Denmark, but when we cooked in school we used the same kind as the one in the webm. Probably because it was considered safer or something.
Nobody had to be taught how to use it; it only fits on the tin in one way and if you take a few seconds to look at it it's obviously which part of it is meant to cut the metal, which should give you a pretty big clue as to how to hold it.
I really thought the Cobester was the only person too retarded to use one of those, but I guess not.

https://youtu.be/TGwW5oH8dz4

>>16794862
>>16794868
>handcrank can opener
>needlessly complicated
Their only fault is they eventually lose tension and/or sharpness. Otherwise you have to be a complete retard to not understand how to use one.

>>16794884
>AH FUCK, HURTS MY HANDS!
>TOBLEROOOOOOONE!

>>16794884
brutal

>>16794888
>Their only fault is they eventually lose tension and/or sharpness.
Yes. That is "needlessly complicated". Moving parts and springs that wear out when a single properly bent piece of metal will do and last you for a lifetime.

>>16794862
honestly it depends on the way the hand crank openers were manufactured. I received a really, really good one from my parents and it works really well. I bought another one at a super market and that thing was a complete piece of shit that barely cut open the can and I needed excessive force.

>>16794579
god, i want to punch him in the face

>>16794702
how out no break egg?

>>16794986
Fly like chicken.

>>16794814
I'd honestly visit egg boy instead, he's got the passion, he's got the drive, Surly looks weary and tired of the egg game, maybe thinking about grilled cheeses.
That glimmer in his eye, you just know that one day if you buy enough egg sandwiches he's gonna get out of there.

>>16794396
is that penne??? on bread? disgusting.

>>16794862
i wouldn't use any sharp implement that i'd have to pull toward myself.

>>16795076
In that case it's perfect for you since you don't have to pull it towards yourself.

>>16794396
Food

>>16795076
? You lever it against the can. At what point do you think it's pulled toward yourself?
Also pulling knives toward yourself is the biggest safety meme out there besides cut off wheels being deathly dangerous. You've really never used a paring knife?
That said hand crank is king. At least twice as fast.

>>16794702
The Egg King, King of the Eggs

>>16794814

This may be one of the most misunderstood gifs on the internet.

Egg boy is just more organized than Egg man. Look at the distribution of eggs. Egg man grabs eggs from wherever, like an animal. Egg boy methodically uses eggs from top to bottom like a well-organized businessman should.

Egg boy probably sells a similar number of egg sammies a day, and doesn't have to deal with a ton of cardboard egg holders with varying numbers of eggs in them at the end.

>>16794396
This is basically how I eat my Totino's party pizzas when I am drunk

>>16794654
Of course it is. I really hope the people who think its real are baiting

>>16794579
Love this guy. Any more?

>>16795460
>this is what anxiety looks like

>>16794878
I love how there's no sound, but you can practically hear everything they're saying.
>Guy: She's... actually...
>Woman: Now, I know it looks bad, but you have to let them learn. You were a beginner once too, and-
>Guy: No, fuck that. I can't watch this, I have to say something before they hurt themselves

>>16794579
The hell kind of meat is that. The sandwich looks like a real sloppa

>>16794862
It's not needlessly complicated you dunce, they're really easy to figure out. Your pic works fine too but you have to be really dumb to not figure out a cranking can opener

>>16794909
Nah, that doesn't happen for years and years. Unless you're opening cans multiple times a day. I have bent piece of metal can opener and it'll work forever, but it takes twice as long to open a can. It's also a risk of cutting yourself, whereas cranking can openers can take the whole lid off without any sharp edges. Have both in your home.

>>16794776
>sippy cup
I hope these lunatics don't have a child

>>16795635
How do you manage to cut yourself with a can opener seriously what's wrong with you people?

>>16794862
looks horrible, don't want to look like a vintage hipster.

im so glad i don't live in a 3rd world country.

picrel, it's what all cans look like in the netherlands

>>16794579
if that cost around $10-$15 i'd devour that sloppa

>>16795033
I can only imagine the jurassic kaiju shits this woman produces after every video

>>16795734
In America we have those as well. Sometimes we have an option to go without the tab for some reason. Personally I have no preference so I just grab first shit I see.

>>16794396

>>16795905
>Sometimes we have an option to go without the tab for some reason.
I think the cans with tabs are a little more likely to have the seals break so they're a worse choice for long-term storage.

>>16795245
I wanna hurt this person

>>16794862
For me, it's the P-38 standard issue field ration tin opener. The folding design lets me take it anywhere. It just works.

>>16795033
Maybe I'm a pussy but I kinda getting sick watching this. It's honestly disgusting

>>16796151
Hi Steve

>>16795460
Lydia... no....

>>16795639
No not the can opener, the edges of the lid. When you use the simple metal openers you have to puncture the top and make a bunch of holes, then pull off the lid. Usually the edges are pretty sharp when you pull the lid off. I've cut myself with that when I was younger.

>>16795460
JUST

>>16794702
indians are niggers of earth

>>16795437
Same

I microwave it for two minutes on a plate too

>>16795928
>stick your mouth in front of the Egg Pooper's hole and received a fresh scat scramble

>>16795928
This looks uncomfortably phallic for me.

>>16794396
why are american pizzas floppy?
when cooked properly, a pizza shouldnt bend.
if you can fold or roll up your pizza then you've undercooked it.

>>16794654
is it your first day on the internet?
literally everything's fake.

>>16794862
to be fair, most boomers dont even know how to properly use a F.R.E.D.
F.R.E.D's are awfully finicky to use, which is why they have nicknames like "fucking ridiculous eating device"

>>16795245
Post it

>>16795637
the cup are just here to not spill water everywhere everytime they're trying to be funny

>>16794654
Niggers

>>16794702
How egg

>>16796151
i keep two in my glove box

>>16795239
>>16795390
you're right, that's perfect

>>16794608
That's so much fucking Lawrys lol

this thread is shit

>>16797697
You can never be too prepared.

>>16794396
I'm fasting and would eat this whole thing right now.

>>16794691
This place is in a suburb of new york city, not in new york city. Doesn't really count. No one would call Ithaca, NY NYC and neither should they be calling a suburb of NYC NYC.

>>16794776
I love this! What a laugh riot

>>16794608
>clorox
yeah it's a joke video

>>16794776
At least these guys are cute. I would like to see them perform together in a different type of video.

>>16794608
The kitchen sink has more bacteria in it than even a toilet bowl. No amount of bleach will make that sanitary to prepare food in.

>>16797939
Another attention whore. It's attention whores all the way down, it seems.

>>16798223
>egg liminal space

>>16795734
>can openers are 3rd world now
Jesus Christ you guys are fags

>>16798223
I am the bone of my egg
Shell is my body
And yolk is my blood
I have created over a thousand eggy breads
Unknown to sanitation
Nor known to health inspectors
Have withstood heat to create many omelettes
Yet, those hands shall never leave the fort
So, as I pray: UNLIMITED EGG FORTS!

Here I come, Surly King of Heroes. Do you have enough eggs in stock?

>>16795245
Imagine the smell

>>16797896
No fuck you. You faggots paint entire regions of the country with the same brush you don't get to divorce yourself from an outskirt of a single city

>>16797939
she is really proud of her tiny implants

>>16794579
i like to imagine that if you pay him enough he will do this exact same bullshit when he takes a dump or a piss.

>>16794608
This isn't a meme. One of my friends was with some Black southern guy foe a few years and he marinated his chicken in the sink. He used rubbing alcohol, not bleach to clean the chucken though.

>>16795489
I honestly think he's legit autistic

>>16794700
It would work if they were smaller and actually burrito sized. That's just a regular large pizza rolled up. It's a shitty gimmick

>>16795928
Wrap it in a tortilla when it comes out. This is perfect for breakfast burritos

>>16798223
>you have to eat all the eggs

>>16798859
This

>>16798223

>>16794608
https://youtu.be/zpzJXCk87uk

>>16799020
>>16794608
I don't understand why they need to 'clean' their chicken? I just rinse it with cold water, season it and cook it thoroughly. wtf is this stupid meme?

>>16799028
I think it's the belief that raw meat has salmonella so its not safe to eat but also not realizing that heat will destroy that, so they'll try to wash away the salmonella to make it safe to eat.

>>16795734
All cans in the netherlands have moonrunes?

>>16795928
what an anti-advertisement
if you told me the concept without that guy doing that I'd have ordered one

>>16798939
Probably just doing a character, because it's what makes him money.

>>16794579
Who's this matt murdock motherfucker

>>16799150
Saltbae nigga

>>16799196
>$160 for "spaghetti"

>>16799204
It's yet another front for child prostitution.

>>16799196
>6 dollar espresso
>10 dollar sprite
>16 dollar spinach
>320 dollars for sea insects
I hate people

>>16799028
>rinse it
why the fuck would you rinse chicken? just take it out of the packet and cook it. what kind of shit chicken do mutts eat?

>>16794814
i hope egg boy has a good life, i know he won't but i hope he does. he probably looks so weird because some retard is filming him.

someone post the german bitch eating raw meat with onion in it.

>>16794401
mutt's law

>>16794579
His twitches and inability to be graceful betrays his inexperience making this dish, causing the whole thing to look convoluted and boring.

>>16794579
His twitches and inability to be graceful betrays his inexperience making this dish, causing the whole display to look contrived.

>>16797984
This is only generally true because people never clean their sinks. Scrub it out with soap after doing dishes and your sink will probably be cleaner than your toilet.

>>16798939
I hate manlets so much bros...

>>16794702
how does he go out of the shop?

>>16799660
>commands the fire to stop
>it obeys
Holy shit. That guy knows real magic.

Even Jord knew better than to pour water on it, though. Good for him.

>>16797939
This is exactly like one of those Asian models who literally just records videos of herself acting "cute" while fucking up average-difficulty adult tasks, except it's a white girl.

The only difference is that when it's someone of your own race, it's easier to tell when she's being natural and when she's trying extra hard to look "cute" (it's like 95% the latter), which makes the fact that she fails basic adult tasks (and tries to make a name/living for herself from said failure combined with a pretty face) all the more embarrassing and pitiful.

This must be how Japanese women see Idols over there (the men are too busy frantically jerking off to notice).

>>16794579
>>16798939
There's too much shit like this nowadays - I don't know exactly what to call it, but it needs a name, because it is such a common phenomena, that everyone has experienced it at least once, especially in the last 10-20 years.
The best way I can describe it is:
>Is this person sincere, or is this a parody?

Social media and video-sharing networks have made people a special kind of fucked-up these days, where it has become too common to see something/someone doing something so retarded, that it could only be an act - it has to be parody. Only then do you learn that the person was for real the entire time, and now you're in legal/social trouble because you made fun of someone who struggles with imaginary modern issue #29,487.

>>16795569
The guy is Raymond Blanc he's an absolute legend

>>16794608
Why's it always blacks doing this shit?

>>16799196
>$10 Sprite
>$15 fries
>$19 mashed potatoes
>$19 sweet corns
Fucking rich people.

>Here's a hot dog for $5
LOL! LMAO! Do I look like some poor dog that has to eat street trash? ROFL!
>Here's literally the same hot dog, made with the same quality of ingredients, sprinkled with parsley flakes, marked up to $200, and with a fancier label
Ah, mmm, yes, exquisite, I can definitely tell the difference in quality, mmm yes, it feels so good, almost erotic, knowing that all the world's greatest pleasure are mine alone, and the poor commoners will never experience such luxury and decadence!

>>16799204
>>16799247
>>16799733
It's never mentioned $, legally you can pay them in rupees.

>>16795928
Could not look more like a log of shit.

>>16798223
EGG KING

>>16798939
"Don't worry about the sear, Ethan, it'll be fine..."

>>16799196
>golden tomahawk costs 1000$
Prices on the stdam market have really blown up, huh? Why anyone would spend that much on a dead game like TF2 is beyond me.

>>16794702
>>16794832
>surly
FAGS
FAAAAAAAAAAAGS
YOU SAY 'SURLY' BUT YOU MEAN TO SAY 'HANDSOME'
FAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS

>>16799196
>a service charge has been added for your convenience
whoever included north americans in the declaration of universal men's rights made a grave mistake

>>16794814
Commodus Ovitus, forever living in the shadow of his father

>>16799775
das ist Mett

>>16799800
The restaurant is owned by some Turkish twink.

>>16799714
>dude still has all his fingers
fucking how

>>16799858
All of the "America_*.webm"s that faggot spams are not actually American. He thinks it's so hilarious that he's been reposting the same shit for over a year now. Just filter his crap.

>>16799787
I've had this shit before as a child. It's cool if you've never been exposed to the concept of "salad" as a dessert, but good god it feels like 'beetus on a plate.

>>16799378
You wanna wash off the chlorine.

>>16799715
The word is performativeness. Knowing that you have eyes on you, so performing according to that

>>16797755
gotcha
that guy will always be my first

>>16797755

>>16794608
>why i season my sink...

>>16799931
>>16799934

>>16799931
How did he age so fast?

>>16799940

>>16799944

>>16799956
I hate how he eats

>>16797939
They didnt include the part where she goes and makes herself throw that pizza up

>>16798805
Its a unnecessary utensil just use a knife or have a ringpull tab

>>16797939
why are her arms so tiny I wanna snap them like kitkats???

>>16794654
Check skin colour

>>16799940
oh my fucking GOD SHE'S HIDEOUS

>>16795245
I can't explain why I hate fat people so much

>>16799956
Based duckbro in the backgound

>>16800514

>>16799761
>>16799765
>>16799769
>>16799775
>>16799778
>>16799782
>>16799787
>>16799793
Since nobody else took your bait here's a pittance

>>16800627
Do you know what "bait" means? This isn't bait at all.
Are you on the wrong website or something?

>>16800641
>name files as "American(...)"
>most are German or otherwise
>repost endlessly for years
Yeah, I'm thinking it's bait.

>>16800650
They are cooking webms in a cooking webm thread, and the joke is that the food looks like american food because it's so calorie dense and fattening. Did I really need to explain the joke to you? BTW, none of these are reposts.

>>16799761
Do Americans really?

>>16797939
>Bra two sizes too small to make her A cups look bigger.
Sad, many such cases.

>>16798816
Underrated post

>>16800697
He took the kebab grease to "butter" the flat bread?

>>16799733
New rich do this shit. Old money gets their kicks from having child sex slaves, the new rich don't even have the connections for that.

>>16800697
Kinda want. Not the meat I'd want, but it's probably still great.

>>16799455
ppl dont do this? lol

>>16799862
experience
t. works in manufacturing

>>16800744
looks like it, never seen that in my life

>>16795939
This sounds right.
I've only ever noticed completely sealed cans are for things like plain beans, chickpeas, or condensed soups, whereas pull tabs are usually on commonly used things.

>>16799674
You can hear it? I thought blue boards didn't have audio?

>>16799895
Recipe? I can't tell what they're making

>>16800908
>the phone comes up
God I fucking hate these yuppievptg8 fucks.

>>16794800
Zoomers can't do things that they've never been shown how to do. This is a normal human characteristic. It's a little funny to not be able to use a can opener, but two minutes after that video, that zoomer was able to use it perfectly, and never had a problem with it again.
Boomers, on the other hand, have the same simple shit (e.g. rotating pdf, sending an email, etc) explained to them a million times, and still act like they've never even heard of it or seen it. This is a symptom of their abject retardation, caused by a combination of lead poisoning and being the subject of countless CIA psyops. Anyone who's ever had to work with them can attest to this.

>>16797755
POV of his first born.

>>16800805
But then he should've lost his fingers before he got that experience

>>16800994
Zoomer is using trial and error to figure out how the tool works. Sure he isn't the smartest tool in the shed, you could just take a look at which parts move when you twist the top, but still.
Boomers will just throw their hands up at computers and say "I don't understand technology" and demand someone else do it.
Many such cases.

>>16795928
ah the good old egg turd machine

>>16800994
>>16801010
>zoomers are smart and good with computer
Meanwhile, zoomers don't know what folders and file structures are. Even zoomers in STEM.

https://www.theverge.com/22684730/students-file-folder-directory-structure-education-gen-z

>>16800908
>And for dessert, we will be serving two shotglasses of chocolate syrup smeared onto your tabletop, a shotglass of mango syrup - also smeared onto your tabletop, accompanied by handful of small cookies and halloween candies, with a tennis-ball-sized sphere of freeze-dried ice cream, crumbled, in the centre.
>... and this serves 8?
>If efficiency or value that matter to you at all, sir, you are not rich enough be eating here.

>>16795245
Thank god there's audio on this one.

>>16801055
Not what I said. They are just more willing to learn an unknown technology than people stuck in the olden ways.

>>16800908
this is fucking queer

>>16801010
>>16800994
hmmm I wonder how old these posters must be

>>16801091
I'm 30. I've had to deal with both demographics enough in my life to see the obvious cultural patterns.

>>16800697
looks amazing

>>16801058
>automation can do, and does, literally everything, starting with the ingredients (processed/delivered from mostly-automated farms):
>unloading from trucks
>cleaning
>measuring
>preparing
>combining
>seasoning
>cooking
>portioning
>wrapping
>labeling
>packing
>Oh, but! We apparently still need a person to wheel the boxes to the truck, and someone else to drive the truck, so we totally aren't on the cusp of a post-labour society or anything!
>If you can't get a job, just go to school until you're nearly 30, to get an incredibly specific degree, and then start handing out those resumes, champ! Eventually you'll set your sights lower and lower, start getting rejected for being "overqualified", eventually just wipe your education off your resume, and then you too can be one of the lucky few who get to wheel the boxes or drive the truck, and afford to eat food for dinner every night!

>>16800831
is very common in turkey and also in the better shops in europe

usually also for kebab / doener kebab

the juices gather with carved meat from the big skewer, they dip the bread in the juices and quickly put the bread on the grill for a few seconds to get a nice and tasty crust on the outside

>>16801085
>stuck in the olden ways
Unfair observation.
You're comparing people whose largest leap of technological adaptation, for the first 60 years of their life, was having to learn how to work the TV remote, to people who have been faced with having to adapt to at least 5 new everyday-life-altering devices/inventions before they're even 18.
Obviously zoomers are going to be more able/willing to adapt to changing technology, they were literally born and raised doing it. Boomers literally can't adapt to new shit because, with the adaptation speed they've been conditioned with (which doesn't tend to change once your brain has made it a subconscious routine for 60 years), by the time they've figured out the blu-ray player, they already can't find blu-rays anymore and have to learn Netflix. They usually don't bother because, from their perspective, what's the point? It's just temporary, and even if they try to keep up, they'll most likely have to learn a completely different thing to replace it in a few months anyways.

>>16795033
imagine the purging...

>>16801154
Totally fictional idea about brain plasticity and learned behavior. Boomers do not have less capability to learn, they have less willingness. "I shouldn't need to learn how to do this. It's menial fiddling"- the attitude of every midwit time waster you will deal with if you work an entry level tech support job

>>16801154
That's my point, the lack of willingness to learn is the problem They have the capacity, they just dont't want to put in the effort.

>>16794399
fpbp

>>16801188
like the movie?

>>16801194
If you mean the movie "The Exorcist", then yes.

>>16794691
>Pearl RIver
>New Yorkers
I mean technically. But it's literally a town full of drunken micks. They dont have much else.

>>16801058
i dont like how it shits them out

>>16798859
anon has a point. But it's really only cityfags who do this shit. The rest of us are normal. Pearl RIver is about 25 mins from NYC so it still counts. I'll accept it .

>>16794579
Nice comedy act

>>16800962
Fried rice

>>16800697
>sauces the bread with the meat drippings at various points in time while the meat is grilling
>slices the onions fucking paper thin in like half a second
>seasons the cut veggies so the spices cling and seep into the veggie juices through the open/wet cuts
>meat is perfectly cooked, not overdone/dry/gray like the average street kebab
Fuck my ASS this guy knows what he's doing

>>16794776
what absolutely insufferable faggots

>>16797939
>slutty clothes/behavior
>Christian crucifix necklace
>live/love/laugh (extended version) word-vomit on the wall
>wine!
>can't cook
>HAHA ITS OKAY THO IM PRETTY SO ITS CUTE
So basic that even her tits don't stand out

>>16799007
>We have top hens working on it right now
>Who?
>Top. Hens.

>>16794776
If only he'd snapped his neck during the rhino gag.

>>16798223
how can eggman even compete

>>16801252
>0:01 - 0:06
>... and as the cheese rises...
>Man
>WILL
>FALL!

>>16801004
nah the guy is so skilled he got experience before he got experience

>>16800767
it's hand minced lamb with tail fat mixed in. malleable enough to be put on a skewer while also having a nice bite to it. i'm sure you'd at worst like it enough to finish it

>>16794776
This is like the kind of shit someone would do to make little kids laugh, but even little kids would find this unfunny.

>>16801379
One of those 4 years of experience on an entry level job application? Rare, those.

>>16800664
>none of these are reposts.
Shut up, disingenuous nigger.

>>16801004
You don't just start out going as fast as that dude.
You start slow. You only go as fast as you know for sure you won't slip and lose a finger - so, pretty damn slow, if you're new.
After a couple hundred chickens, you start to get so familiar with the motions that you speed up a little bit, because you know you can keep doing it flawlessly even at a higher speed.
Then more chickens, more familiar, more used to it, more experience, go a little faster, etc. etc. until you're going as fast as that guy and you know you won't fuck up.

>>16801407
they arent, newfag

>>16794654
black people dont have reputable grocery stores in their neighborhoods for obvious reasons
their shops only sell old and slimy chicken that needs to be chlorinated and washed with soap to be edible
most blacks were raised eating almost rotting chicken and they think thats how every chicken is

>>16801055
That's very interesting. The ending of students still not grasping the metaphor of a root system is pretty surprising. Trees don't feel generational.

>>16801638
what's there to understand?

>>16799956
Do christians really?

>>16794828
What the fuck is this? Cheese? Why did he keep it inside of a hairy man's back?

>>16799147
Quite confident he did this sort of thing once for a laugh and it exploded so now he just capitalized on it. Frankly that seems to be the case for a lot of semi-famous people. Like when Ramsey started hamming it up when he got known for being that one angry brit chef that cusses all the time. I doubt either of those guys are naturally like that.

>>16799222
On a metaphorical level, yeah probably.

>>16797939
I'm seething all right.

>>16800908
Escoffier would fucking brain douchebags like this

>>16794396
Isn't that just like, a Stromboli?

>>16800697
FUCK
UU
C C
K K

>>16799895
This is why cooking classes need to be mandatory in schools. Fuck the food industry. Teach people how to fucking cook. This fucking toddler can make fried rice and i'm running into college students who can't cook a single thing.

>>16799895
炒飯寶貝

>>16795245
>>16795948
>>16797551
>>16798845
>>16800371
>>16801080
500k each month from onlyfans

>>16799761
iirc this is german

>>16801055
I always expected kids to lack understanding with computers, the same way every technology becomes a black box as it matures, but I find it hard to believe they find such a common concept confusing. Filing cabinets is a stupid metaphor, I'm nearly 40 and I've hardly even touched one, they'd be more familiar with grouping objects in a graphics program.

>>16802134
It is.

>>16801883
That's not a "toddler", but yeah, I totally agree with the sentiment. Some motherfuckers floating around the world in the west nowadays are hardly capable of keeping themselves alive in the most basic ways if they are not within a walking distance of a fastfood joint/restaurant/bar/parents.

>>16802148
He looks about 4 to me so I just assumed he was toddler aged. But I know people think of toddlers as different ages.
The food industry is poison, in any case.

>>16799895
that is not a toddler fyi it's just a really tiny laotian man

>>16802134
I thought Americans wanted to be associated with Germans? You know that whole wanting to be Aryan thing a lot of Americans are so obsessed with?

You have to eat all the eggs

>>16802468
Doesn't look like that many, should be fairly easy.

>>16801055
Literal fake news.

t. zoomie

>>16795928
>huevo caca

>>16797527
Americans prefer (or at least, are offered more often) a thick, spongey, bready crust on their pizza. More carbs, because you know how it goes, and it soaks up more of the excessive grease/water from using too much sauce and cheese. Too much cheese is used because most pizza places (and "chinese" take-out places) are entry-level businesses, often run and staffed by new immigrants who just see what the cheapest business next door is doing, so they use the cheapest ingredients possible, including very mild/weak, mass-produced types of cheese that have little flavor unless you eat a mouthful of it.
The result is a crust like a circular, flattened bun, soaked in grease, so it's very malleable.
Sometimes, like Gordon Ramsay pointed out in the infamous "oh god just don't watch this show" episode of his American show "Kitchen Nightmares", the pizza crust is so soaked through with grease that it is not just soft, but actually so soggy and wet that it is falling apart.

This has been a lesson brought to you by Canada.
"We're basically just as bad as America, but not as cool."

Do Americans really do this...?

>>16797939
cute

>>16802634
leafs don't know what they're talking about
even in Rome, the pizza I had was never hard

>>16802468
The eggs are supposed to be boiled

>>16794776
there is hardcore gay pornography more hetero than this

>>16803405
Gay porn is fucking disgusting 99% of the time. The only good stuff is amateur. Now I usually just get off to my imagination or 4chan greentexts. Anyways here's this topkeks video. Wouldn't let me post the actual webm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0VG3pJLuak

>>16794702
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever...

>>16795928
I want to stick my dick in that

>>16800697
Based kebab can do a based kebab

>>16795427
How fucking stupid you are. You will NEVER understand ART you fucking MONGREL. Egg Man inherently knows the quality of EACH AND EVERY FUCKING EGG that he has on display and chooses thusly for his customers. Like a good man. Like a discerning man. NOT like some pubescent BOY awkwardly glancing about in confusion
>oh you want an e-e-egg s-sandwich. o-okay, s-sir, l-l-let me make one for you
Faggot.
Egg man commands who gets the best eggs and delivers it thusly. Much like the "soup nazi", butt end of Jewish hack comedians. The soup "nazi" was truly an artist as well. Discerning who and who can't taste his wares. Fuck off.

>>16795427
ALSO, why do you think no one is going to poor little egg boy? Probably because he can't make a fucking sandwich worth the rupees. Ever think of that GENIUS?
Honestly man, FUCK YOU. Fuck off.

>>16799204
From what was posted last time, it's not actually spaghetti, but a very soft, tender meat that's been cut into thin strings so it's like spaghetti.

>>16802640
Try a bite, come on, it won't kill you.

>>16794579
imagine the shit you'd have from eating this sloppa

>>16794806
why did they redeem those eggs?

>>16800232
"lorry"
Hej oldefar

>>16800908
i like this idea of petit fours

>>16800908
they literally drop a tootsie roll lmao fucking retards buying this shit I swear

>>16799895
Everyone here is aware that this is literally Chinese soft propaganda right? Its literally videos created for and pumped out by the CCP just to be like "oh wow look at this smart kid/dog/fridge, that so cool. Oh this is in china? huh I guess, neat"

>>16802640
We have that on our birthdays in our family's house. I don't know what's wrong with those gooks because it's delicious. I chose kfc but my kids choose mcd's

>>16803753
and how do you know this?

>>16795033
how is this possible?

>>16803753
schizo

>>16799895
>people are impressed by this
Just goes to show that nobody on /ck/ actually cooks

>>16799674
DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!?

>>16800232
Kæleperkeren Umut.

>>16800933
I have watched that video a hundred times on Youtube.
Don't get all cocky because you miss a reference once in a while.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E4StlboB48

>>16794396
>this is a PIZZA BURRITO!!! OH MY GOD WOW
>It's just a pizza rolled up
Stuff like this makes me irrationally angry. Then again I am autistic and quitting smoking cold turkey.

>>16797939
>haha I'm retarded and can't do anything right isn't that funny?
I wonder if she's been beaten to death yet. This webm is pretty old.

>>16800697
based
>>16800908
no

>>16799934
What is that he picks out of the can and flicks away? And why the fuck would you flick it like that anyway, you're just gonna have to go find it and clean it up.

>>16794806
>earring
that kid is a victim of a grooming gang.

>>16804103
I'm sure you created some fine dishes when you were 5.

>>16794806
What is going on here?
Are those dudes in orange egg mafia thugs or something?

>>16794396
I do that with chepa frozen pizzas when I don't feel like cutting them.

>>16802468
Did someone seriously buy a gf just to recreate this story?

>>16803753
oh wow look at this post, that so cool. Oh this is in 4chan? huh I guess, neat

>>16804821
I don't even need to click on this to know.

>>16804946

no it's a rape porn

>>16794608
Imagine how many people this killed.

>>16800767
Have you tried adana kebab? Because it's unbelievably good.

>>16800994
Read the caption

>>16804821
>yeaaahyeaaahhhh we're damaging this dumb little kids psyche
hope he knew about this before hand.

>>16804175
Selveste krakkemutkokken

>>16795948
He's hurting himself more than you ever could

>>16794702
Those eggs look like shit. I'm convinced that they are no longer good.
Whoever eats those things will have an extreme case of the runny shits. But then again its India, everything will give you the shits there.

>>16795460
>stab knife in middle of carrot and cut down
>flip carrot over
>repeat step one
wa la

>>16804821
Why do these things have human rights again?
May aswell treat chimps and gorillas like humans.

>>16799862
For now.
It only takes one mistake for it to all go bad.

>>16799196
more like this

>>16804103
>felling threatened by a poor as fuck kid

>>16794396
as if nobody has ever rolled up a pizza before, how novel

>>16804821
bUt ItS tHeIr CuLtUrE!!!!