/ck/ - Food & Cooking

sporks so they can't kill each other

>>16586877
well that looks better than anything i ever had in jail (re: not prison) but idk about prison
look up jailhouse burritos on youtube to find out what is 'good' food in jail..

>>16586883
you can steal a spork and melt it down to a point though (or a toothbrush)

>>16586888
but how do they melt it?

>>16586884
could you please elaborate on what you had in "jail" (not sure what the difference is between that an "prison"), i just meant any kind of incaration)

>>16586884
i looked up "jailhouse burritos" and i am not understanding the commisary system, do you actually get paid while in there for some work or do you just use money you already had? is there a big markup?

>>16586891
they use a bit of aluminum foil and a battery
some prisons they even have outlets in the cells that they use

>>16586896
jail is county prison, prison is state, and then you have federal fuck you in that ass prison which is obviously federal
>>16586901
they are pretty good. i'll find a vid for ya

>>16586877
In county jail they gave us this bag with a sandwich and a cookie in it. And by bag I mean they were tightly wrapped up in saran. The cookie would have been fine if it wasn’t for the fact that the disgusting sandwich didn’t drench it in mystery meat juice. The sandwich was just like (ham?) and cheese plus this packet of god know whats to put on it. It most closely resembled some kind of salad dressing. It did not improve the sandwich at all.

>>16586901
this is the closest to what i had
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrKkq1ZLzag
every day i would eat this, we would all throw something in and split it. usually ramen noodle base, some seasoning from the packet, either doritos or cheetos for the 'filling' and usually some type of processed meat for the 'meat'
honestly they are pretty good if you do it right, much better then the food they give you and way more filling. also a great way to get to know the other people in there cause you bond over food

After I read about the inmate cook who put his shit in the spaghetti sauce I’ve decided not to go to prison.

>>16586925
i should clarify why this was necessary, the meal times were ok but after dinner there is no meal for nearly 12 hours. so we'd all pitch in something and make this. we also made real good sauce from jelly packets, mustard packets, and sugar packets, kind of like a sweet and sour sauce

>>16586931
well that's disgusting. the jails i've gone to had citizen cooks, one was even my lunch lady in high school lmao

>>16586923
Sorry for the weird typos, im hungover

>>16586937
best cure for a hangover is another drink lad especially on a sunday

American jail/prison food is basically the same cheap bulk shit you find in public school cafeterias. no seasoning on anything, you have to buy salt/pepper/hotsauce from the commissary plus any other kind of snack food. Instant coffee is big, i remember one bummy fuck that had 3 kids and got locked up for meth woild always hit me up for a scoop in the morning.

>>16586877
Think: the cheapest shit that can still legally be called food

>>16586931
wouldnt that get you shanked

>>16587031
Yeah that’s a wig split for sure

>>16586877
>Uncle spent three years in prison
>got out and got a gf who is truly horrible at cooking
>Came over to our house for dinner one night
>"DAMN! I haven't eaten this well since I was in prison!"

His gf was pretty mad

>>16587043
I was excited to meet his gf because he said she had a big sexy ass, but it's not hot at all it's just fat and lumpy

>>16586925
i guess it probably wouldnt taste awful but this gives me some future dystopia vibes. just a ton of heavily processed food items mashed together to form a log which is then eating communally

Did a few days for something stupid.

Thankfully my bunk mate (low risk) told me how to jail.

Got over night trash truck job and we got staff food (basic stuff) and because only place open late was a Wendy's our boss)CO got us Wendy's. I left 15 lbs heavier mostly fat.

Jail is for idiots don't go anons. Seriously people thought I was magic I had a job and degree.

i still dont understand this "comissary" thing

you can just buy stuff while in jail? is it marked up? where do you get the money?

>>16587081
You can buy stuff in prison commissaries once a week.
Generally, yes.
Family can put them into your commissary account or you get a paying job in prison.

>>16587043
what a bloody legend

Here's a menu for a week from the time ASAP Rocky spent about a month in swedish custody

>>16587206
>only authorized the amount of commissary in your cell that can be consumed or used in one week
Fucking jerkops
Also, where’s the ramen?

>>16587253
And here's a kitchen used by inmates in one of the housing sections of a swedish high security prisons.

Mind you. ASAP Rocky was locked up 23 hours a day and did not have access to a kitchen.

>>16587259
That wasn't the whole inventory.

>>16587263
America is such shit.

>>16587316
Because of all the “ASAP”s running around. USA is a monkey country

>>16586877
In the US, it's like school cafeteria food except more likely to be expired or infested.

my mom went to jail a lot, she said they just got grits in the morning and a bologna sandwich around one. dinner was rice and gravy. one sunday they got cinnamon rolls for breakfast. i did three days in juvy and was not fed at all, but they fed my brother and his fried, who were two cells over, that was fucked up. i never went to jail again after that

>>16587259
The reason is they assume you're going to use it as currency to obtain contraband. As such, you are only allowed to have a weeks worth of items in your cell at a time.

>>16587206
>>16587289
Looks like American inmates are also forbidden from buying anything healthy

>>16586922
Much better to be in a federal pen than a state prison.

When I went to jail for a week in San Francisco, They would give everyone 2 slices of bread, and a saran wrap bag of peanut butter, and one with jelly. and a small carton of milk.

When I first got in I was terrified, because I though someone threw shit all over the ceiling, but actually, it was just really common for inmates to throw their peanut butter ball in saran wrap against the ceiling.

>>16587371
Healthy tends to be perishable, every food item sold on commissary has to be 100% shelf stable as the inmates do NOT have access to refrigeration in the housing units.

>>16586877
Did a few days in jail. My culinary experience wasn't the worst. Saturday night at county is always beans and hotdogs, with a cup of kool aid and a piece of cake. Other than that, it was pretty bland, but edible. If I had to spend an extended amount of time there, I can see the food slowly driving me mad. Except for Saturday night beans and dogs.

Meals at HMP Liverpool include lamb balti, spicy doner wraps and Sunday roasts, according to the Ministry of Justice.

Menus work on a four-week rotation. Prisoners select their weekly meal plans in advance, so they know what they're getting and there are no surprises.

Every weekday lunch option comes with a choice of vegetable soup: minestrone; thick pea and lentil; and tomato

There are also 'lunch packs' available. They include a barm (some sort of northern bread roll), baguette, wrap, sandwich or salad box, accompanied by fruit or crisps and a biscuit.

Baguettes include pork and stuffing or spicy chicken kebab, with wrap options such as sweet chilli chicken and BLT.

Over the weekend, there are hot lunches such as pork roasts, fish fingers, hash browns and beans. Also served over Saturday and Sunday are choc ices, cakes, and ice cream pots.

Dinners are broken down into five categories, designed to suit all dietary requirements. There are cold choices, standard veggie, vegan, and halal sections, as well as one classified as 'ordinary', and another with an emphasis on fish over meat.

Cold dinners are anything from turkey pasta salads to pork pies, veg samosas and Bombay potatoes. Hot evening meals might be fish and chips with mushy peas (on Fridays), sausage casseroles and 'Texas' beef burgers with chips.


Vegetarians might get a potato and spinach dal, pizzas, or moussaka. Every dinner is followed by a dessert of fresh fruit or sponge and custard, rice pudding, or chocolate doughnuts.

Breakfast falls a little flatter. A 'continental'-style get up is offered. In all English prisons each prisoner receives a breakfast pack which is issued the evening before for use the next morning. This will include a breakfast cereal, milk, tea bags, coffee whitener, sugar, brown or white bread, jam and margarine or butter type spread. They will also receive a weekly allowance of teabags and sugar to make themselves a cup of tea whenever they want to.

>>16587206
So stamps are limited to $9.20 per sale but you can buy a book of them for $9.80?

>>16587316
Won't someone think of the criminals

>>16587658
British prisoners living like kings

>>16587253
>chili sin carne
cruel punishment

>>16587690
Maybe it's for single stamp purchases.

>Slice of cake
>What looks like mini pound cakes or other such sweets
>2 big chunks of butter
>Beans, probably sweetened heavily
American prisoners are truly spoiled. They don't deserve as good as they get.

>>16586877
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLt9fRYT92M

>>16586877
Im actually doing time in an Argentinian prison, I got sentenced to 4 years for attempted murder.

Whats food like over here? There are food, higiene products and medication shortages on every single prison that doesnt belong to the capital city bureau.

So your visit (if somebody wants to travel several hundreds of miles to see you a couple of hours to begin with) may bring you food, cleaning, products, clothes and even electronic appliances, every other week.

Whats state provided food like?

Soy burgers, small portions of extremely low quality beef, breaded chicken-paste-patys, gelatine, donation bread, corn meal mixed with dairy byproducts, barely edible potatoes carrots or pumpkin, rice or noodles so cheap they become porridge when boiled.

Thats it, you may get some sweet stuff for christmas.

Prisoners depend on their families or horny women to bring them food.

>>16587990
based prisionero

>>16587690
Because they don’t depreciate in value and are used as currency in prison.

>>16587658
>HMP
>Her Majesty's Prison
Do bongs really? Do you guys still have debtor's prisons and workhouses?

>>16587990
At least you have a smuggled smart phone so you can shitpost.

>>16586884
>>16586923
>>16586984
>>16587071
>>16587629
What did you do to get locked up?

>>16588082
>smuggled

They used to smuggle cellphones but not anymore.
They allowed prisoners to legally own phones to avoid violence when they put a hold to visits cuz corona virus

>>16588113
Are you allowed conjugal visits/allowed to fuck women in Argentinian prison?

>>16588113
Who did you try to kill and why?

>>16586877
Harsh bologna sandwiches & grool/grits

>>16588126
Yes. You can, too, have sex with a female prisoner if there is a women's prison in the same area. You can also ask your gudge to have sex with a fellow inmate in a private room if you are a homosexual (No joke)

>>16588049
But if you're limited to $9.20 you can't buy a book of them that costs more than $9.20

>>16588155
>Yes. You can, too, have sex with a female prisoner if there is a women's prison in the same area.

How does that work? Do they just assign you a random female inmate that wants some dick?

>>16588140
Some dude who messed with my family, I broke his skull with a lead pipe. He tried to hurt me first and went to the police afterwards, hes a coward piece of shit

>>16588196
No, you can meet them through facebook, working in the pen or if somebody share their number with you

>>16587263
In Sweden IKEA runs the prisons

In USA Walmart runs the prisons

That explains the difference

>>16587263
lmao, inmates in Sweden live better than me. Maybe I should go there and kill some swedes.

>>16587081
>you can just buy stuff while in jail?
Yes. In some prison systems you're expected to buy everything, even your daily meals.
>is it marked up?
Not really, but you earn fucking pittance compared to the outside, like $2/hour or something.
>where do you get the money?
you earn it from doing work. you can just choose to sit in your cell all day and watch netflix if you want but you'll end up with shittier food, no soap, no toothpaste etc compared to your mates who are doing work camps a few times a week to afford luxuries.

It's part of the prison system's way to help them reintegrate back into society and to help them with basic shit like "buying healthy food and toiletries instead of meth".

Pic related is what a typical max security prison looks like these days. You can order/buy almost whatever you want, but you have to work for it.
You even have things like tablets, netflix, cable TV, a computer etc but if you fuck up, start fights or break shit you get it taken away from you.

>>16587263
ausfag here
my brother is a chef that teaches prisoners how to cook so they can get jobs on the outside.
he says it's pretty fun and comfy teaching prisonbros how to cook and it's pretty rewarding watching them go from burning instant ramen to making pastries and fine desserts n shit.

things like knives etc are chained to the benches so they cant lift or move them more than a couple of inches.

>>16586933
>no meal for <12 hours
>compelled to mash up ramen noodles and cheetos into a mushy log
do americans really?

>>16588113
wtf do they not put toilets in your cell?

>>16587071
>few days
>bunk mate
>prison job
idk about this I'm gonna say you're a larping fag because where I come from the local jail is literally just cells and if you have a "few days" sentence you just stay in your cell.

>>16586984
That's why the urban types always say "wypipo don' season they food", because the only food they've ever eaten that's been served to them by white hands were in shitty institutional settings like schools, jails, and hospitals.

>>16587206
>JERGENS LOTION
this must be extremely popular

>>16587253
>cowboy sloppa

>>16588353
black people in general tend to have dry skin so it actually is
a common insult among them is to call another one "ashy" if they have dry elbows or hands and their skin looks grey as a result
more commonly out of the pen, they'd use cocoa butter (very distinct smell) but inside you take what they offer

>>16588365
yeah for dry elbows thats what they need it for.

>>16588281
>Maybe I should go there and kill some swedes.
you'd get the death penalty for your islamophobia, plus you pre-planned it so your antisemitism will get you years as well.

Spent 3 months in a county and then 3 months right after at a “state sanctioned intermediate facility”.
Basically a last chance for drug offenders and people who are near that felony limit where they lock you away for good.

County:
Shit food, think high school food but with starches mostly. Chili Mac we use to wash off the noodles and add jalapeño squeeze cheese from commissary.
Commissary was alright, soups were about 80c or around there. Shit was expensive.

Once I left to the state facility the game changed.

Decent food sometimes, had actual baked chicken twice, one of the only meals people would jump the line or trade soups for someone’s ID card. (Used when you check in for chow time)
Commissary in there was run by the state, and this place was inside of a medium security state jail
Soups were cheap; 40c a piece IIRC.
even had ice cream pints and sodas.
Cajun shrimp flavor, purple bag, was the absolute best. Google it, you can’t get it outside the okeefe network.

I won’t get onto spreads but everyone knows the best base is tuna and chili ramen w hot corn chips mixed and crushed on top.

>>16588209
Let this be a lesson to those who don't make sure their enemy is dead.

>>16588383
gimme 2 soups or 3 coffees or u might get ur wig split playa

>>16586891
Getting your mom to breathe on it

>>16586877
passing by the thumbnail I thought this was a litter box because of the bottom right

>>16587343
What the fuck are you talking about. Please don’t tell me you’re talking about ASAP rocky and think that’s some common American gang or something. Oh my fucking god please don’t.

>>16588025
What about that post struck you as based

>>16588320
people who go to jail in other countries live better than the american poor

>>16588461
Amon he's talking about niggers.

>>16588056
>Do you guys still have debtor's prisons and workhouses
no, but that would solve a lot of issues desu

>>16588223
have you had sex in prison?

>>16588320
why are they all fat?

American jails sound so fucked up, you go to jail and you leave in debt to the fucking jail so you can eat shitty food and not die. Fuck you have to pay for your own prison uniform and shoes a lot of the time.

>>16588782
If you're retarded enough to go to prison you deserve to be a debt serf

>>16586877
>what is prison food actually like?

Years back, a friend’s much older cousin who was a habitual criminal (B&Es and drug dealing) and thus in and out of prisons his whole life, said the food in an actual prison was quite good despite the poor quality ingredients as the cooks were all lifers and took pride in their job, as it was the only thing they had going for them in prison.

But he said the food in country jails was terrible, as nobody was in there for more then a year and so nobody gave a shit and the scrambled eggs for example, would be full off shells as the guys assigned to the kitchen would just smash the entire egg into the bowl.

>>16588747
I dont really feel like dealing with anyone anymore, even if that means having a harder time here. Its just that i feel so confused, sad and useless im pretty sure meeting somebody would be a waste of our time. To be honest I just dont really know what to do anymore

>>16586877
I remember liver for breakfast and bacon with hair on it. Prison is a great way to lose weight.

>>16588751
because that photo's of an Aussie max security prison, and like 90% of the inmates are overweight 40~60 year old cunts with drinking problems and connections to biker gangs.

>>16588336
Some cells and even some entire prisons have no toilets inside. You just urinate inside plastic bottles and defecate on plastic bags. Thash guy comes once in a while. Hell, some prisons dont even have running water on summer, you have to shower with 2.3 liters of water and "wash" your clothes with sprayed bleach or deodorant

>>16586877
some good tasty drinks

>>16587043
He sounds based

>>16587946
>Pound cake.
Corn Bread, more likely.

>Butter.
Margarine, or similar. Cheaper, and no issues with allergies, etc.

Also, that's likely an actual school lunch.

How many of you have been raped in prison? Is it as common as the media portrays it?

>>16588938
fucking brutal
guess it pays to be a good boi after all

>>16588155
>Yes. You can, too, have sex with a female prisoner if there is a women's prison in the same area.
Sounds like guaranted stds

when I was in jail (domestic violence) I remember having an entree of oatmeal, and side of oatmeal, cornbread and juice for breakfast. For lunch I had beef and noodles, bread and a piece of brownie. I was only in for 17 hours.

>>16587691
All of it leads to lower repeat offender rates

>>16589212
did you rape anyone in jail?

>>16589258
No, I slept and gave my meals away. I'm not meant for that life, i've learned.

>>16588281
kill the foreign invaders. That way you are part of the solution

Anyone has tasted the "loaf"?

>>16586877
I was in a large county jail in Georgia for trespassing. For breakfast we got off brand cereal most days or reheated pancakes or biscuits. Lunch was two baloney and cheese sandwiches with chips and cookies. Dinner was usually a slop with mincemeat and veggies but some days we got a chicken or beef patty and buns which actually weren't bad. Fruit and vegetables were usually pretty fresh. Drinks were off brand kool aid powder which just tasted like sugar and instant coffee that tasted like dirt. We could also buy junk food and ramen once a week but there was nothing to cook the ramen so we just ate it raw mixed with a bunch of different stuff and that was the best tasting thing I ate there. All things considered I would rate jail food 6/10, still miles better than anything I had in public grade school.

>>16589175
>stds

you only get STDs from Orcs or faggos

>>16586877
you can survive on it, if you eat some of the gigantic roaches and maybe a rat crawling out of the toilet, you might even not look like a skeleton. either that or you have money.

>>16589402
or the visitors of that website you got that spacing from

It took so long to remember just what happened
I was so young and vestal then
You know it hurt me
But I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise
I've got my hands bound
My head down, my eyes closed
And my throat wide open
Do unto others what has been done to me
Do unto others what has been done to you
I'm treading water
I need to sleep a while
My lamb and martyr, you look so precious
Won't you come a bit closer
Close enough so I can smell you
I need you to feel this
I can't stand to burn too long
Released in this sodomy

>>16588095
Crashed car. Semi sucidal and shit so that and no record helped.
>>16588346
It's a long story but, had a good lawyer got 10 days plus parole and sent right to the work release/honor dorm.

Wish was a larp it did still suck. If I wanted to larp I'd talk about my lotto winning not a dumb fuck up that thank goodness was as smooth as was.

>>16589444
>spacing

what is spacing? Like Shattner spacing?

>>16588908
just gotta do your time homie. how far into your 4 years are you? try to learn something while you're in there. there are full college courses with lectures online you can do for free, you won't get a degree but you might find something interesting.

>>16587206
>buying sanitary pads/tampons
So if you're a broke ass bitch, you have to stew in your own blood once a month? That's a good way to get people to give you a wide berth at least.

California here
Most means are SoS for breakfast (gravy sauce with meat) or pancakes
peanut butter jelly (sugar free) for lunch
and chicken puck (formed chicken piece) or beaver tail (salisbury steak) for dinner
it was mostly this, but on holidays and some weekends they'd give us a real piece of chicken that people would sell and some blacks would refuse to eat because they thought it was racist to give us chicken
also, everything is sugar free. you can buy soda and honey buns on commissary in the lower levels, and you're going to need it to keep your blood sugar anywhere near normal

>>16588320
not true for state prisons, we have over the air TV at best
no netflix or cable
we literally sill used AM/FM radios and cd players
however there is now tablets in prison you can listen to music on via a streaming app from what i hear (just implemented this summer), so they're adding things slowly on the state level

>>16587990
>>16588113
I just got done doing 4 years and they're trying to send me back for 2 more because some shitter officer says I kicked him on an escort.
It goes by quick anon, I had access to an iphone if I needed it (was super fucking expensive on the tier) so I never used it, but it was nice to know it was there. Funny how people had to cram them up thair ass to keep them hidden. Charger too.
Also if you know your stuff you can get heroin/weed/meth if that's you're thing (at least in America)
I for one, watched star trek every night and House MD marathons.
It honestly goes by quick, and once you're out nothing changes except employers/housing giving you shit for a history
I thought my mind was permafucked because of how apathetic and zombielike I was but it goes away quick once you're out
I hope you the best., godspeed.

>>16588955
For those that don't know pruno is homebrewed prison wine. Shit sells good and taste like watered down mold. If you get caught manufacturing you do an additional 8 months at least. Shits insane, I'm surprised I had it so often.

>>16588782
You get billed for going to Prison?

>>16589315
You only get this when you're in the hole. I spent a year there, and during AD-SEG (administrative segregation) where they place you before you go the the actual hole.
they push this shit into the cell onto the floor through the tray slot (opening in the door)
it just plops onto the floor and you're served once a day
absolute animals

>>16589728
plus tip

>>16589803
No wonder they keep going back...

>>16588113
Damn anon that is fucking brutal, good luck to you.

>>16589738
Is this the primary cause of hunger strikes? Because that would make sense to me.

>>16589816
not really, they happen spontaneously for various reasons
a lot of lifers died in hunger strikes and they just ignore it since they don't have family to complain about it
people would make petitions with all the deaths and ask you to sign them, but it never got anything done

>>16589824
Are the riots fun?

>>16586877

If you put your religion down as Islam you get the better food

>>16589833
Whats the better food?

>>16589848
You get the same, but without meat.

>>16589848

Actual meat. Sometimes Lentil/Chickpea curry depending on where you go

>>16588365
>dry skin
It's for dry rectums anon.

>>16588347
No, they say that because no white majority cultures have had food with additions like seasonings or flavors. Plain boiled things or baked things with no pizzazz or razzamatazz, not even salt or pepper usually.

>>16589941
>Google worlds best Chefs
>all of them are European

Really makes you think...

>>16588113
Flaco, ojalá no seas tan pelotudo como para repetir lo que hiciste cuando salgas. Intento de homicidio, apareciste en el noticiero, che?

>>16589954
Those are all Europeans patting other Europeans on the back lmao anybody can make a list and put their tribesmen on it

Ah yess Francois you have truly made this a delectable dish with your addition of steamed green beans au franmair on zee chicken bakeroni

>>16588113
>>16588938
That is fucked, hope that guy ain't coming back from whatever you did to him.

>>16589941
>have had food with additions like seasonings or flavors
>t. nigger

>>16589941
>No, they say that because no white majority cultures have had food with additions like seasonings or flavors.
yeah it really sucks having such a developed and sensitive palate that you're able to distinguish the actual flavors of food, without needing the 3 third world 'flavors' added to it: piles of sugar, piles of salt, or Flamin' Hot®

>>16590005
>Flaco, ojalá no seas tan pelotudo como para repetir lo que hiciste cuando salgas. Intento de homicidio
Fue un intento de homicidio, ni siquiera mató a nadie, no es tan grave

>>16588113
Y que querés con este país de cuarta. Ojala nos callera un nuke

>>16588281
norway is peak prison luxury

>>16588113
>>16588155
>piss bottles
>state provided gfs
NEET heaven

>>16588908
Happiness is always accessible. Master your feelings and you become master of your destiny. Check out the Law of Attraction threads on /x/.

>>16589941
Kek, yeah, Brits conquered the world looking for spices and don't bother using them

>>16589941
>Greek
>Italian
>French
>Spanish
>Macedonian
And etc etc etc. Stop being stupid. FYI Ethiopian food is bland as shit, and so is Cuban food outside of the street food. Blandness isn't a white people thing, dumbass.

>>16587350
based family man

>>16586896
Jail is county confinement. It is usually for people awaiting trial or people serving non-felony (usually less than 1 year) sentences. Prisons are run by the state or the federal government and are usually exclusively for people who have been found guilty and sentenced and are serving a felony (usually greater than 1 year) sentence.

>>16586901
It depends on state law but if you work during your sentences you can be paid, although there's usually a statutory cap on your daily wages, usually no more than a dollar a day (which frankly is retarded). Most people get money for the commissary from friends or relatives putting money on their commissary tab. In the old days you would go to a window and give money to a prison clerk and fill out a little deposit form and the money would show in the prisoner's account. Now jails and prisons have ATM style kiosks that you can walk up to and deposit money into a prisoners tab from. Honestly it's pretty predatory because the companies that run the kiosks get like a 3% fee.

>>16589572
No. They have to give you pads as they're medical/sanitary items. The issue is pads they give you for free are the cheapest, shittiest, roughest, no-name, generic, bullshit pads they can get their hands on so if you want pads that don't feel like you're having your labia sanded off you have to buy them yourself.
Or so I've been told.

>>16588172
every prison youtuber i watch says only new guys buy stamp books but i don't know why

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9HL2rc8TqE

>>16588890
lmao that's hilarious

>>16586877

If you live near LA, you can try it for yourself at Fatima's Grill:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatima%27s_Grill

>[The owner], who previously had no significant cooking experience, conceived of the restaurant and many of his recipes while working in the kitchen at the Federal Correctional Institution, Safford in Arizona, where he was serving a 7.5-year sentence for drug trafficking. After opening the restaurant, Elreda at one point had to return to Safford to list his ingredients, as he sourced many of the items he uses in his dishes from the prison commissary.

Although apparently the addition of Flamin' Hot Cheetos to every dish was a later gourmet innovation.

>>16587990
How do I send you money for food anon? Would deliver in person but don't want to get shot and robbed

>>16588908
Drink some prison hooch. If I was locked up, I'd be drunk all of the time. I'm drunk all of the time outside of prison, anyway.

>>16589941
>all these replies from angry whities

>>16593714
Wonder who typed this...

>>16588320
why do prisoners look like wagies?

>>16593245
because once you've been checked and had your stamps taken you're smart enough not to buy a ton at a time

>>16586877
in USA, Missouri (Jail, not prison) it's terrible. Just bland chicken noodle soup. I remember the bread being good though. I assume it was day old bread donated from somewhere.

>>16588113
my god. i cannot imagine a worse hell. anon has a fucking piece of cloth separating him from a concrete floor...

at least hes not cold you asshole

>>16594122
meant for >>16594113

>>16592408
Im reading Man's search for meaning.. A bit depressing but there is an amazing lesson to learn from it.

>>16589545
About 1.3 years. It almost impossible to be comfortable enough to study in here, I share a smelly, loud and distracting little 2x3 meters cell with 4 other prisioners, we spend the little time we have doing chores, forcedly praying, working out or calling our family/some bitch
Everything is so uncomfortable and slow that a single chore like cooking may take you the whole day. Btw im waiting for december to come, I came to this pen to enroll in college. (One of the few ones where you can go to college, there are few carrer options tho)

>>16589704
Thank you anon, I hope your issues with the law get solved soon. If that makes any sense in english

>>16589809
Thank you

>>16590005
Gracias a Dios no sali en ningun lado.
Pero hubo una coincidencia muy extraña con gente que si salio en los medios.
En mi barrio mataron al dueño de un gym semanas antes de que me detuvieran y un policia mato a su hija hace ya un mes, esos echos si salieron en la tv.
Yo mismo estuve en comisaria con uno de los que le robaron, acusado de matarlo. Y ese policia vivia cerca mi casa tambien. Conoci a las dos victimas y los homicidas en mi barrio, la carcel y por los medios.

>>16590776
We need to learn to forgive ourselves and other people. If that man wasnt a piece of shit and if i had turn the other cheek in time, I wouldnt be here

>>16593650
Aww thank you my man.. my family visits me from time to time. I have always worked under the table so I never actually opened a bank account. We could use western union

>>16593671
Not allowed on any prison hall unless you want to get raped while drunk or beaten up

>>16594113
Oh its bad but there are some prisons located in the middle of nowhere where prisoners are either starving, getting tortured into asking their family to have sex with other prisoners, bring drugs and money or just expiring in knife figths almost every week

>>16592126
~20 percent recidivism rate. US is about 2/3. Prison luxury seems to work.

>>16586877
Here's a weekly Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner menu from 2012 that's pretty standard fare

I've heard it's gotten a lot worse recently though

>>16590851
>>16592083
Seething

>>16586901
>i am not understanding the commisary system, do you actually get paid while in there for some work
prison jobs are sometimes available but they pay extremely meager wages and are mostly for people who don't have friends/family outside
>or do you just use money you already had? is there a big markup?
People have to put money in there for you. Usually friends and family. Yes there is a massive markup, but inmates pay it anyway because regardless of the quality of the food served, there's never enough, and you will get hungry in your cell later and want your own snacks. And condiments and other shit to mix/add and make your own food basically.

To actually have zero money in prison is a hellish state of affairs. That's why everybody learns a hustle of some kind even if it's just writing poems or some shit.

>>16588716
This is absurd

>>16589081
It's actually extremely rare

>>16594438
Good luck to you man, I can't imagine how I'd fare in your situation. I hope the time passes quickly and you can move on with your life.

>>16594785

Correct, most of the gay sex it is consensual.

>>16594767
Why?

>>16586984
Child prison lunches are also an American thing. Other places parents make lunches.

>>16593547
a downeyanon...this troubles me.

>>16594438
Man I'll be praying for you
Just know that the fact you have access to the internet is something a lot of prisoners would love, so keep us updated OK?

where you at dawg we got the whole city behind ya

>>16595108
they made a whole thin little slot in the tray for a single fucking disposable fork
that other segment of the tray isn't meant for a single drink-mix packet either
you're supposed to put food in there

>>16586877
the time i was in jail in okc we had scalloped potatoes for breakfast, and nachos and cake for dinner

>>16586896

Jail is where you go after you're arrested. Prison is where you go after you're convicted.

Total shot in the dark but does ANYBODY have ANY idea how I could work towards improving prison food quality?

I'm not a nutritionist, or a chef, I didn't study any of those things. But something about the state of food in prisons really bothers me to my core. I want to find some kind of genius solution to making prison food taste better and still keep the costs down.

Would anybody be willing to share their ideas, no matter how outlandish, in persuit of this cause?

>>16594438
I'll pray for you. Stay out of trouble and stay strong anon.

>>16595155

Checked. But there's no hope of improvement as long as the US has a for-profit prison industry and the highest percentage of incarcerated citizens of any country in the world.

>>16595166
but I still think you could make it more tasty without increasing costs
I know there's a way

>>16595155
>>16595166

Double-checked. Your best bet in the short term is probably advocating culinary training as a type of work-rehab program and getting a documentary series on Netflix. But the entire system is currently so toxic, coming from both sides (jailers and inmates), that there appears little light at the end of the tunnel.

>>16595177
>>16595155
I mean Ramen is cheaper than the shit they actually give them, and the inmates prefer Ramen, but they don't give them Ramen because it's too salty and doesn't fulfill a nutritional quota

That's the reason really, it has to be "healthy"
They could easily feed them tastier shit but then people would say you're giving the prisoners heart disease oh lord think of their health with all that SALT

Fulton County Atlanta with a bunch of gang members, there was some guy that would bring in KFC or Wendys if you paid him, otherwise prison food you make with shit you buy from commesary, watch on YouTube if you care.

>>16589941
Go to Italy or Spain and try uttering that again

obligatory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhJdr2FU9go

Curious about Canadian prison since they spend six figures per prisoner. It has to be a quality of life improvement over the $8400/year non-prisoners get.

>>16595215

Canadian prison rations include a daily pint of the maple and ten kilograms of Timbits. That ain't cheap.

>>16595215
Canadian minimum security prison is fucking dope. You can post on 4chan from here. Only thing you can't do is leave or take pictures lol

>>16595233
>Canadian minimum security prison is fucking dope. You can post on 4chan from here.

Checked. Now we know where the jannies are.

>>16595238
You probably won't get enough computer time to be a janny because of all the shenanigans and parties the inmates throw. Plus, there are smash tournaments every week and shit.

>>16589453
that album sucks

>>16595239

The quality of weed in the Canadian prison dispensaries is pretty shit, so inmates usually pay the guards to bring in the bomb kush. Which is not actually prohibited, but it costs extra Good Boy Points. Sometimes you don't even have enough points left to both get high and put bacon in your Kraft Dinner. Shit like this is why people start kidnapping politicians.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/October_Crisis

>>16594483
there's more to recidivism than just how prison treats you; i.e. the social, cultural, and economic conditions that incentivize and push people towards crime.

>>16595258

I blame mumble rap and anime.

>>16595126
its so the food preppers can just throw everything in there and stack them up for prisoners to grab as they walk by. otherwise if theyre waiting in line it causes friction and increased likelihood of altercations or whatever.

>>16595265
enjoy prison then, zoomer cunt

>>16595126
The utensil slot is there so it doesn't move on the flat surface of the tray
The compartments of the tray are utilized according to the current menu
It's prison dude, everything is standardized

>>16595281

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R30b94-3f5E

>>16595283
Yeah, I guess that all makes sense
I forgot they have to stack these

Non-American here, why are stamps so sought after? Do prisoners send a lot of postcards lol?

>>16587206
What's a photo ticket?
Why don't sweat shirts/pants come in 5x?
Why are you only allowed to buy 2 of a given beverage?
Basic hygiene items should be free. Nobody benefits from some guy not being able to afford deodorant.
>>16588113
What's in the white bottle?
>>16588320
>soap
>toothpaste
>luxuries]
That's inhumane.
>>16595155
Mandatory spices, probably.

>>16595719
I could imagine that writing letters quickly becomes their new hobby for many prisoners. I guess there's not much to do in prison lol

>>16595155
Honestly, look at the pajeets running gurdwaras. Those niggas cook incredibly tasty, nutritious food for pennies a serving. It's vegetarian so it doesn't offend anyone either.

>>16595166
I thought I read a statistic recently that only a small percentage of American prisons were for-profit.

>>16595166
Only 8% of US prison are for-profit. The rest are run by the state. The truth is no politician wants to spend money on the comfort of criminals. It makes them looks bad.

>>16593714
>retarded post gets (You)s
big think..

>>16594438
>Btw im waiting for december to come, I came to this pen to enroll in college. (One of the few ones where you can go to college, there are few carrer options tho)
december will be here before you know it homie, hopefully once you can do college you'll fill your time a lil bit more. once you hit that 2 year mark it'll start getting easier, once you hit that the days start counting down man. I did a lil less than double the time you're in for, however in a nicer prison, but I can somewhat relate. keep your head down, stay out of trouble and find something to fill your time that you at least kind of enjoy. write some shitty stories on your phone, keep working out (you'll hopefully never have as much time as you do now), read some pirated books, maybe a series that you can immerse yourself into to mentally escape. I'll be thinking about you homie.

>>16586877
My brother went to prison for a couple of years for severe assault here in Sweden. They had a budget and took turns buying and cooking food in the kitchen like some gay commune. They could buy whatever they wanted and would grill entrecote in the summer several times a week.

>>16587253
Reminds me of the free school lunches you get in Sweden, very meh but edible stuff.

>>16586877
In some German prisons the prisoners cook their food themselves.

>>16586877
Ex-convicts on /ck/ are like juggalos on /pw/

>>16595966
I find vegetarian food personally offensive

>>16588320
This is adult day care, not prison. If you fail to follow society and the laws it produced you should be summarily executed or driven out as an exile. No exceptions.

>>16595966
imagine the smell in those prisons when American prisoners all eat pajeet food all the time

>>16587253
>spinach soup, egg
Based and school lunch pilled

>>16587253
I want some cowboysloppa Svenbros

>>16596922
I don't know what you mean, but chefs are one of the few jobs that take ex-cons no questions asked and don't drug test, so I'd be willing to bet that /ck/ has one of the highest rates of ex-cons on any board.

>>16596854
Prisoners over there live better than I do lol. You get good food, a nice room, can play video games and use the Internet, and have cookouts with your bros. And you get this all for free for as long as you want as long as you commit crime.

>>16595719
Keeping in touch with friends and family is probably a big morale booster/incentive not to an hero.

>>16595202
Authentic Italian food is actually really simple and sparsely seasoned. The flavor relies on the freshness of the ingredients.

>>16595103
this. there's a reason the saying ''it's not gay, its prison'' exists. if you're a real fine piece of meat, you might even get to suck a guard off for some little favors

>>16594483
Norway also has a tiny fraction of the niggers and spics, which is where all of the recidivism is

Ramen is fucking awesome, you guys. It deseves more respect than rice gets.

>>16587429
Fuck I'd rather eat ketchup sandwiches

>>16597091
ex-convicts tend to be obsessed with food in general

>>16594438
is that a shank?

>>16595966
yeah I'm sure a wing of Aryan Brotherhood members definitely would be hyped about eating curry for every meal

>>16597912
>yeah I'm sure a wing of Aryan Brotherhood members definitely would be hyped about eating curry for every meal
>Aryan

Yes.jpg

>>16597403

Nope, it's still gay. Really, really gay.

>>16595233
>>16595239
>>16595255

>>16586877
Depends how many chefs are currently locked up with you, and if they have any talent

>>16589212
Wow, you really chose your woman wrong if she got you locked up for that. Hope she gets what’s coming to her.

>>16597926
I don't follow.

>>16597912
They wouldn't give a shit. They're just a vicious gang not /pol/ spergs.

>>16587206
>Douche $1.65 each
I didn't know that Douchebags come that cheap in prisons.

>>16586877
Ramen and spicy pork rinds is good.

>>16597912
Nothing wrong with the food. It's the people that we hate.

>>16589212
i've been to (finnish) jail (not prison, just detained at a police station) overnight twice for allegedly beating up my ex-girlfriend, first time i got a delicious fazer sandwich with lettuce, tomato, ham, cucumbers etc, boxed juice (raspberry, i think?) and a disgusting microwaved mushroom pasta thing that might have been good but i wasn't feeling well so it was really off putting
they offered me breakfast but i chose to skip it and go home, why would i choose to stay? the cop was like "really? no? oh..."
second time i can't remember, they might have just thrown me in to the drunk tank where they don't serve food or take you to a smoking room every 4 hours or something if you have cigs with you

>>16597157
I don't think they get any internet access or anything with an USB slot but you can play the PS2 if you get someone to send you one.

>>16598197
why would you say no to free breakfast???

>>16593547
DUDE CHEETOS

>>16598613
I'd be happy however if they just let me live with my dog

>>16589941
>europe conquers world for spices
>suddenly not just the nobility can afford spices
>the poors make using spices not a high-class thing
>tell people that spices are used to cover up shitty food
>because you're rich you only eat the finest foods which need no spice because of their extremely high quality
>the poors copy you because they think they can become high class by aping what you do
>entire country largely stops using spice
>this continues all the way to the 21st century where boomers try to tell you a 'properly cooked' meal doesn't need anything other than salt, and pepper if they're getting a bit bold

>>16598698
please don't say "europe" when it was only a handful of countries
italy and germany carried the enlightenment anyway

mmm, this one actually looks pretty good

>>16598707
Nazis and autists don't get a say

>>16586931
tell me more about this man

>>16598698
lol

>>16598707
That 'handful of countries' are the only ones worth mentioning. Spain hasn't been relevant since 1492. Germany has done nothing but by the loser in world wars. France is a laughingstock. Italy hasn't been relevant since the "holy" "roman" "empire" failed - aside from coming up with a few interesting foods after tomatoes were discovered in the new world. The nords' only claim to fame is the 'success breeds jealousy' meme, and then how fucking far they fell so fast. Never seen a meme go from serious to ironic to fast. And then there's England.

No other Eurostan country is even worth mentioning.

>>16598806
we're talking about prison food

>>16594593
>9 slices of bread a day

>tfw considering getting sent back to the mental hospital
it would be worth it just for the ketchup glazed meatloaf

>>16589336
how'd you get jail time for trespassing?

>>16598197
>the cop was like "really? no? oh..."
Anon, he made special brekkie just for you.

>>16598806
>Germany has done nothing but by the loser in world wars
I mean, if you cause enough trouble that The World™ has to go to war with you not once but twice, I think you've demonstrated that you're at least "relevant."

For me, it's the manwich

>>16598806
>Germany has done nothing but by the loser in world wars
sad how the inventors of books have been written out of history in america
but it is a jew controlled country
or is it that americans don't wish to talk about interning germans en masse and terror bombing every large city?

>>16589251
Not for niggers it wouldn't.

>>16586942
WHAT A LIFE

>>16599070
>Americans terror bombing large cities
Germany and Britain terror bombed each other, and the US terror bombed Japan because those psychos wouldn’t give in
>implying América terror bombed Germany
They would have if they could have and did towards the end but this was more of strategic bombings of critical locations rather than “terror bombing”

>>16592980
3% is a joke, my state charges a fee based on how much money you're adding to a prisoner's books and that can reach over 15%.

>>16596093
>>16596123
8% are for-profit, but most prison systems contract out at least some operations to the private sector.

>>16587263
I have those Ikea drawers. They're great.

>>16588056
We have that in denmark as well. Mail boxes user to be property of the crown as well.

>>16588056

It's important to ensure that the peasants never forget their eternal servitude to their German masters. They may have survived the German onslaught in WW2, they may have escaped the German-controlled EU, but they're still under the boot of a German queen. The tabloid antics of the Kardashian "royal family" are a welcome distraction from the labors of everyday life in Mordor. The bongs have been chattel of European masters over a thousand years, slaves born & bred to to serve Continental overlords.

>>16599356
>Germany and Britain terror bombed each other
Britain started bombing civilians in Berlin in august. Wasnt until september that the germans actually started doing the same to the British.

>>16589336
which jail? I was in Cobb County, shit was boring af. Food was awful couldnt stomach it the first day, but you're not getting shit else the first week.

>>16586877
mmmm carbs

>>16597989
It's a play on words since the Aryan race hails from northern India though that has nothing to do with the Aryan Nation and other affiliated gangs.

>>16599799
That’s still not Americans tho
Also, this type of human suffering is the reason we tend to avoid massive wars in the modern age

>>16599356
America dropped more bombs than the UK. Firebombs, bombs large enough to flatten entire blocks, etc...
And just as indisciminately, you can't build a house in a German city without the risk of digging up a dud.
More German civilians died in the war than soldiers.

>>16589803
Plus THE tip, if you're american

>>16596874
>Bara åtta köttbullar
I cry erytime

>>16598806
>Spain hasn't been relevant
Rekt, Shrekt, Erect

>>16600438
America wasn’t even a part of the war until after 1941 and wouldn’t have had the airstrips to do such a thing until D-day, unless they were launching them from the UK, which would still be after 1941.
Anything after D-day would be more akin to strategic bombings in order to destroy German infrastructure. Calling it “terror bombings” is a ridiculous way to describe it. Germany is the country that created a fucking rocket specifically designed to fly over the UK and randomly just drop out of the sky. Indiscriminately more properly applies to that device than a plane dropping a payload.

>>16598921
>>16598634
If he accepted the breakfast they would have made him stay in jail longer numbnuts

>>16595948
> What's in the white bottle.
This guy doesn't know about the cum bottle. Here's a hint: how do you think sex works when you're not allowed conjugal visits?

>>16586877
Spent a night in jail for "drunken disorderly" (complete bullshit, we were innocent), lady police officer gave me toast and tea because we hadn't eaten. She was nice, most of the police were nice apart from the arresting officers. I have that effect on people, people just like me and idk why.

>>16600176
The Aryans conquered northern India. They originally hailed from the steppes of southern Russia.
No /pol/, thats just historically what happened.

>>16586877
I remember one prison youtuber saying they used to use the spicy ramen seasoning packets as weapons by blowing them into people’s eyes

vegetarian in taiwanese prison:
white rice, "celtic spagetti", egg once a week

bread with either peanut butter or jelly

i spent about 3 years for drug violations (felony) any question just ask

>>16602844
Were there any gangs and if so who were they? How frequently did assaults and rapes happen?

>>16602844
how does your record affect your life prospects now
are you still in taiwan

>>16602844
celtic spaghetti? Elaborate

>>16589251
You have NO NIGGERS retard. You can't imagine what it's like. The same systems wouldn't work

>>16595202
Don't you ever call me white again, cumskin.

>Don't you ever call me white again, cumskin.

>>16588320
>Pic related is what a typical max security prison looks like these days.
GOD NO JUST GIVE ME THE CELL

>>16587990
>Argentinian prison
>Soy burgers, small portions of extremely low quality beef

Being served that crap must be a form of torture/punishment for Argies just by itself

>>16588320
>>16594001
Aussie max security prisons make the prisoners live in what look like office cubicles with beds... does that mean offices are just prisons you can leave?

>>16594593
these niggas eating better than me

>>16595719
1. physical mail is likely their primary means of contact with the outside world
2. stamps hold value and are probably the closest thing to physical currency that they have

>>16597950
jails pretty fucking dope this time of year. lots of parties coming up for the holiday season and the dopes been pretty good. The foods great too, tonights taco night