/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16516598
If you cook for your girl she’ll be horny for you like you wouldn’t believe

>>16516598
Cocaine of she's into you
Rohypnol if she's not

>>16516598
Party cheese salad

>>16516614
>If you cook for your girl

Only if can cook something 'fancy'. She sure won't be 'turned on' by sloppa.

>>16516598
Barrel of oatmeal. I'm not kidding. Nothing gets a girl wetter than a barrel of delicious creamy oats.

>>16516614
You should let go of that fantasy before you start dating. You're going to be disappointed.

>>16516598
I cook and fuck a lot. my go to is procuitto wrapped figs or brie and baguette for appetiser then some sort of pasta dish for main course. gnocchi is a good choice with asparagus, mushroom,, bacon

>>16516665

This is really good advice. Both of those courses are damn near impossible to fuck up, and it's still fancy enough to impress all but the most uppity of women.

>>16516598
Women fucking love garlic, pasta, and bread
Do with that information what you will

sounds pretty fucked up, but hear me out, ok?

you want to feed them foods with HIGH glycemic indices. Rice is a really good choice, so is watermelon which is also a really good disguise, because watermelon is a fruit and it's healthy in their perspective.

What you're doing by giving them quick blood sugar spikes is making them insatiable. They won't want to eat much in front of you, so they'll direct this hunger and blood sugar frenzy into wanting to have sex.

Trust me. Or eat only rice and avocado for a day and tell me you aren't wanting to fap one out.

>>16516614
unironically this.
women get wet for a man that can cook, but this guy's right too >>16516640. it cant be sloppa.
Doesnt mean it has to be complicated or fancy though.
Keep it simple and make a nice pasta or a roast dinner or something.

>>16516690
>>16516665
yeah seconding this.

>>16517480
yeah, though garlic's not ideal if you plan on kissing. but garlic bread instantly takes any 6/10 meal and turns it into a 10/10.

>>16516598
Chicken parma-john

if you're both not really looking for a big meal, my go to is a quick n easy cheese platter.
you dont even have to go full charcuterie board autism, just 2 types of cheeses, some crackers, some salami or smoked ham, pickles, berries, olives.
snack on that together over some wine and netflix and your dick'll be wet before you even finish all the cheese.
bonus points if you decorate your room with $10 xmas lights.
for some reason women love that shit.

>>16517557
oh, not to mention it's cheap, quick, easy, no prep (apart from just slapping it all on a wooden chopping board) and you can make it out of random shit left over in your fridge really.

>>16516598

whip out a tin of deenz and tell them to dig in

>>16517566
checked and based

>>16517542
>garlic's not ideal if you plan on kissing
why?
is it b/c it smells bad on your breath? (which it doesn't; foodstuffs smell like food, not something bad like rotting teeth or refluxing stomach acid)
or b/c she'll THINK it smells bad and be hesitant to kiss/smooch?

>>16517566
>sardines
>t. not getting laid...ever
based af

>>16516598
I love intimidating young women with unpleasant behaviour that's often violent and sexual.

>>16516598
cook some foreign dish and tell her this new female coworker gave you the recipe.

you have to be hot in the first place

>>16516598
I usually invite them for coffee and a piece of cake.
Recipes woman enjoy the most :
-Lemon meringue pie (you'll get laid with this one)
-Literraly anything with coconut or raspberry
-Any kind of cobbler (no skills needed)

>>16516598
Bring a guy with a bigger cock than yours

>>16519311
crock* it helps to have extra stew

>>16516640
Buy a slow cooker
Buy a thick chunk of meat
Mix a sauce or seasoning together
Cover meat on one side
Place in slow cooker
Enjoy time with your girl and then the machine yells at you for a change and your meal is ready.

>>16516598
if what you cook is delicious, they will be turned on. being a good cook makes a big difference. even better if you eat pussy like a champ.

>>16516640
Ever banged a stoner girl?

>>16519510
I never touched a girl

>>16519519

>>16519489
>t. fag

>>16516598

>>16519556
whatever, loser

shove a stick of pocky in her ass

>>16519564
incel chud

>>16519573
yes, l am an incel because i cook well, eat pussy well, and fuck like a champ. i guess it makes me a simp, too

>>16519591
one day you will lose that v-card buddy, dont worry.

>>16516598
Rub it on their clitoris. In my experience women are turned on when you rub things on their clitoris.

>>16519610
Should I take my clothes off first

itt

>>16519642
>I'd tentacle rape you if I was an octopus!

>>16519258
go on

>>16516598
Use wine, instantly makes it look like you're cooking gourmet

>>16516598
just rape them.

>>16516598
pasta and shrimp, sushi shit

>>16516626
> Cosbyposting on /ck/

>>16517557
>your dick'll be wet before you even finish all the cheese.
Guess you could say she'll finish the cheese before I do then.

>>16516665
Asparagus makes her peepee taste funny

Girls want attention.

Cook something that needs little attention like stew (simmer for hours), salad (prepare in advance) or seafood (flash fry).

Pay little attention to food, make room for her.

>>16517566
Patricians choice. If she runs away she's not worth it anyway.

>>16519510
> buy the cheapest delivery garbage possible
> she's completely fucking impressed and compliments the food
works everytime

>>16519642
>my foreskin makes my penis look like a turtle
My brother

>>16521412