/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Break the glass

>>16485416
I think you need a corkscrew

>>16485426
>>16485428
God fucking damn it

>>16485416
>I cant even push it in
Pussy. Is this the state of modern "men"?

>>16485416
If you have some lying around, try screwing an actual long screw into the cork and then use that to pull it up (with pliers if needed).

>>16485416
use a woodscrew, a screwdriver to screw it in and some pliers to pull it out

>>16485416
flip the bottle upside down and hold a candle under it to burn the cork away

>>16485416
You got wood screws and a claw hammer?

>>16485416
>phoneposting zoomers are useless
standard

>>16485441
>>16485433
Nothing, just moved here.
Whatever. Guess I'll drink tomorrow.

Appreciated anyways.

>>16485416
use a serrated knife like a steak knife or something. stick it in the cork a good amount. carefully, and slowly, twist and pull the cork out. i have done this thousands of times with success. you can also try to push the cork in with the knife.

>>16485446
you can also use a lighter to heat up the oxygen and push the cork out.

>>16485443
Quick Google search says you can try:

-putting the wine in a shoe then hitting a wall with the shoe. The cork will slowly work itself out.
-use a key or serrated knife at an angle and slowly work it out

>>16485416
>drill cork with biggest drill bit you have
>chisel remaining cork out with screwdriver
>pour wine through strainer
wala

Wrap bottle with towel completely, so if it breaks you won't get sliced by glass. Put spoon or fork or knife heel on the cork. Lean on the utensil with all your weight, making sure to not place too much lateral pressure, bending the utensil. There is no bottle of wine that cannot be opened this way unless you are truly so effete that you cannot be called a man in good faith

>>16485416
>I cant even push it in
Stick a capped pen on it and give it a good thump into the bottle. You should be able to do this much if you're not a woman or soyboy, though those grubby nails seem to indicate that. Clip your nails, faggot.
The fact that your tools weren't the first thing you unpacked to put your furniture together with also makes me doubt your manhood. Even my sis with her crap toolbox could come up with a corkscrew alternative.

>>16486162
>take knife
>lean on it with all your weight
this nigga tryina kill you

>>16486180
basically this, if you have a toolbox and can’t figure it out then just kys. Alternatively have you thought of asking a neighbor to borrow theirs?

>>16486327
>Alternatively have you thought of asking a neighbor to borrow theirs?
If society hadn't devolved into mass fear and isolation-inducing paranoia, this would be a wonderful icebreaker and a great way to meet people.

>>16485416
A saber.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfR9alzMPYk

>>16485416
Use a knife, stab it in, tilt it slightly, and twist the cork out

>>16485416
stick it up your pooper the suck the cork out like i know you can ;)

Find a sharp knife that's not too wide. Push it in the middle about halfway through the cork. Tilt the knife a bit and turn it like a screwdriver slowly pulling the cork out while rotating.

>>16485432
I have done this
Careful you don't chip the lip of the bottle, you can get glass fragments in your wine easily fucking around like this (still worth it)

>>16485443
Use the shoe method.

>>16486327
>Alternatively have you thought of asking a neighbor to borrow theirs?
Only normalfags talk to their neighbors.

>>16485416
Put in shoe. The rubber sole is a shock absorber the prevent breakage. Repeatedly beat horizontally against a solid object like a wall. The sloshing wine pushes against the cork and eventually works it out.

>>16485416
stick it in very hot water and the cork will slowly slide out
just keep an eye on it

Look up how to open a bottle of wine with a sword, then replace sword with something similar, like a butter knife. Can easily open it that way

>>16486673
I'm confused why you didn't just suggest he look up how to open a bottle of wine with a knife...

>>16486673
Sabering only works on pressurized/carbonated wines.

>>16486679
Because he's an idiot.

>>16486590
No wonder the italians make the best shoes on the planet.

put bottle on driveway. turn car on. run it over.

>>16485416
You could always just cram it up your ass

>>16485416
>put the bottom of the bottle in a shoe or a boot (doesn't really matter as long as the heel is solid and sturdy)
>hold the shoe sideways while holding the bottle in the bottom of the heel and bang it gently against a door frame until the cork comes out enough so you can just pull it out with your fingers
Seems stupid but it really works.

>>16485416
Flathead screwdriver.

cram
twist
remove
profit

>>16486679
kek

>>16485457
>I like my wine shaken

>>16487334
>I like my shoe full of wine

>>16486327
>Howdy neighbor I'm an alcoholic but I'm really bad at it, mind if I borrow your corkscrew so I can fuck off and drink alone?

>>16485416
Suck the cork out.

>>16485416
I ALWAYS have a corkscrew and a bottle opener around, you should too

>>16487344
>shoe full of wine

>>16485416
God gave you teeth didn't he?

>>16487352
>hi nice to meet you my name is anon, I just moved in but haven’t finished unpacking. I was wondering if you had a corkscrew i could borrow to open this bottle of wine

>>16487361
kek

>>16486344
>If society hadn't devolved into mass fear and isolation-inducing paranoia, this would be a wonderful icebreaker and a great way to meet people.
truest words ever spoken

>>16487738
>>hi nice to meet you my name is anon, I just moved in but haven’t finished unpacking. I was wondering if you had a corkscrew i could borrow to open this bottle of wine
nice to meet you, I'm Bill and this is my wife Sue your new neighbors, why haven't you finished unpacking? Don't you think that's more important than drinking?

>>16486181
Just commit hara-kiri bro

>>16487738
>Hi Anon it's 2AM, go the fuck to sleep you wino.
OP's best bet was to go to a gas station and buy a corkscrew from that section where they always have screwdrivers and batteries and tape and all that. I don't think an adult who came to 4chan instead of doing that would be composed enough for a proper introduction to the neighbors under good circumstances.

>>16485416
Use a screw smoothbrain then pull it

>>16487773
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
*run away*

suck it out you massive faggot

>>16487773
Well, you know, I wanted to celebrate, after all this is a big step forward in my life; you know what, I'm going to bring the bottle here so we can celebrate together, if you aren't busy of course

>>16487765
fuck society

>>16487823
>I'm going to bring the bottle here so we can celebrate together, if you aren't busy of course
it's almost 9pm at night (according to OP's post), given you've moved to a stand your ground state I have every right to shoot you

>>16487946
I live in an apartment and smile or say hi to people as I pass them in the corridor, they stare at me as if i'm covered in shit and blood

>>16485416
i've used broken off bush branches out in the desert,wrap your hand with a tee shirt so the branch doesn't hurt your hand.

>>16485416
I use my power drill and a wood screw, then use a hammer to leverage out the screw.

You should all be ashamed.

>>16488179
Zoomers never learned any practical skills. All they can do is flipping fake balisongs

>>16488179
The guy apparently doesn't even own a set of hand tools, so I wouldn't expect him to have a swiss army knife.

>>16485416
Push it in
with your dick

>>16488022
Since the advent of social media I've noticed a massive shift in people's ability to be cordial with each other in passing. I just don't even bother anymore

>>16488214
>All they can do is fidget spinner
*ftfy

>>16488224
I haven't had a multitool with a wine opener since I was like 8. Men who have multitools don't drink wine, they drink beer and liquor is their assumption. The needle nose pliers and wire cutters are the best thing on a multitool. Followed by the can opener.

>>16488282
the fidget spinner thing was over and done with before the first shipping container full of them could come over the sea to exploit it.

>>16485416
Maybe ask your boyfriend to push it in for you, or work out a bit more, or buy a corkscrew.

>>16485416
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfWu76kyFmw&ab_channel=mikeintokyorogers

>>16488018
try befriending neigbor
shoot him
such is the life in america

>>16488214
>All they can do is flipping fake balisongs
euh, can you remove the camera in my house pls

geg

>>16488179
Dangerously based

>>16488018
>01:33:12
>9pm at night

>>16487344
It's called a boot of wine, you uneducated reprobate

>>16485416
This thread

>>16486882

what if he doesn't have a pair of suede oxfords?

>>16485416
you use a cork screw

>>16489695
only suede oxford obtainers are able to open wine sans cork screw.

>>16485416
You live, you learn.

>>16487352
Nice post.

>>16485416
put those sucking skills to work, faggot

>>16485416
Go and sell the wine and use the money to buy a real drink, like koolaid

>>16486344
t. thinks being asked to wear a gauze sneeze mask in public is literally the same as being stuck in a gas chamber

>>16487344
It's called le bateau, you savages.

>>16491650
You're right, it is different. One of those is fiction and the other is happening right now.

>>16491726
>muh holohoax
Careful with that edge, son.

OP here, just bought a corkscrew.

>>16491737
both are fiction

>>16485443
>Nothing, just moved here.
What does that even mean? Did you not move with your possessions?

>>16491871
You only see what your eyes want to see. How can life be what you want it to be? You're frozen when your heart's not open.

what sex is caitlyn jenner

>>16485457
>>16486569
>>16486590
How big are your fucking feet, Bozo? Not everyone walks around in canoes that could fit entire wine bottles.

>>16491971
I just checked. I can get a bottle of wine in my girlfriend's sneakers. Euro size 36.
No, I will not post photos.

i used a corkscrew on my wine and pulled and it just ripped out the middle of the cork and the other half fell down into the wine
if i drink the wine will i die

>>16491971
Post your tiny shoes and your bottle of wine that won't fit in them.

>>16485416
>How the FUCK do I open this without a corkscrew?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY8Kfd5rZYA

>>16490261
pic on left is what I drink. with ice of course.

>>16492098
looks like she needs to lay off the coca cola

>>16486882
tried this once and it didnt work

>>16485446
why did you do this thousands of times?

>>16485416
Get a big knife and Sabre it you retard

>Find any screw that at least 1.5 inches in lenght
>screw it down until there is about 1/4 of screw left
>Take claw hammer and pull up on the screw while twisting

>>16486698
>>16486359 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfR9alzMPYk

imagine being an ignorant cunt that spouts shit like they know anything, instantly proving that they know nothing.

This happened to me on a date with my gf, I got so frustrated and broke the bottle neck on the sink. She refused to drink because of the possibility of broken glass in the wine, i drank it all out of spite.

>>16485416
if you have a blowtorch you can heat the neck and the pressure will shoot the cork out.
You can use a lighter but it will take longer.
Be careful not to melt the glass with the blowtorch though, be gentle.

>>16492787
good boy

>>16485416
If you're an avid wine drinker you should have bought one of those electric wine opening machines/devices. My parents have one and it works pretty well. You can probably find it at Bed Bath and Beyond or some shit. You press a button, hold it, and the corkscrew goes into the cork, then you press another button and it pulls it out, but it's machine powered so it pulls it out easily.

>>16492206
>Drinks wine with ice

What in the goddamn? I've never in my life heard of anyone drinking wine with ice. I guess you CAN, but seems like an odd thing to do. It's like people who drink orange juice with ice.

>>16493790
lmao idk like I said bro I drink box wine from coffee mugs with ice, I'm not a sommelier.

>>16493790
Ice with wine was one of Super-Dupont's many weaknesses.

>>16493800
>I drink box wine from coffee mugs with ice

I see, so you're obviously white trash or live like a degenerate. That's fine. I'm sure most fat white women are drinking it out of some iced tea glass or something.

>>16485416
a steak knife and a dream

If you have a heavy shoe with a hard sole, you can just put the bottle between your knees and hit the bottom with the sole of the shoe
It'll work its way out a millimeter at a time but watch that you don't spill

>>16493808
If you can tell me the main differences between a $60 bottle of wine and an $8 box of wine I'll tell you why you're lying. Even professional wine people will tell you to save your money and just buy the boxed wine unless you need to feel special or impress because you overpaid for wine.

>>16493790
>>16493807
ever heard of ice-wine?

>>16494894
you dont drink ice wine with ice in the glass retard

>>16494971
are you asking me a question

>>16492007
>girlfriend
>girl

>>16493790
I water down store bought juices cause they are generally disgustingly sweet.

>>16494868
poorfag cope

>>16494995
I don't even drink wine, that's just what the pros and the actual vineyard owners and shit say.

>>16485457
>-use a key or serrated knife at an angle and slowly work it out

I've had success with this in the past, it's a pain in the arse but it eventually works

Try not to get bits of cork in the wine

" “Open two bottles of stout, Jack,” said Mr O’Connor.

“How can I?” said the old man, “when there’s no corkscrew?”

“Wait now, wait now!” said Mr Henchy, getting up quickly. “Did you ever see this little trick?”

He took two bottles from the table and, carrying them to the fire, put them on the hob. Then he sat down again by the fire and took another drink from his bottle. Mr Lyons sat on the edge of the table, pushed his hat towards the nape of his neck and began to swing his legs.

“Which is my bottle?” he asked.

“This lad,” said Mr Henchy.

Mr Crofton sat down on a box and looked fixedly at the other bottle on the hob. He was silent for two reasons. The first reason, sufficient in itself, was that he had nothing to say; the second reason was that he considered his companions beneath him. He had been a canvasser for Wilkins, the Conservative, but when the Conservatives had withdrawn their man and, choosing the lesser of two evils, given their support to the Nationalist candidate, he had been engaged to work for Mr Tierney.

In a few minutes an apologetic “Pok!” was heard as the cork flew out of Mr Lyons’ bottle. Mr Lyons jumped off the table, went to the fire, took his bottle and carried it back to the table. "

Does this only work with carbonated drinks? I would assume so.

>>16495147
All liquids expand as they are heated.

>>16485416
if you have a chapstick you can pop the cork into the bottle but the problem then is that you have a chapstick and a cork in your wine. won't affect the flavor but now you're out a chapstick

>>16495147
>Drinking hot beer

I don't know that this excerpt is from, but this person's a psychopath.

>>16495164
>>16495526

Yeah, but I don't get the feeling they were boiling those brewskies.
I guess they'd more or less have to do that with flat wine, though.

It's from "Ivy Day in the Committee Room" by James Joyce. The thread just made me think of that scene is all.

>>16485443
Sounds like it's too late but for future reference webm works

>>16495589
wine cork never would come out that easily as they are tighter. also if i ever catch a hipster doin this shit with scotch I'll fuckin deck em.

Boil the bottle, the wine will expand, forcing the cork out

I have just pushed the cork into the bottle before

>>16486882
What the fuck?

>>16496366
Best idea.

Buy sparkling wine next time

>>16485416
have you ever had your cork pushed in?

>>16490261
Franzia Box O' Wine
Isnt that the one with the expiration date on the back of it?

>>16496391
kek

>>16496366
>boiling water.jpg
>Boil the bottle, the wine will expand, forcing the cork out
it's literally a picture of ice water. are you retarded or am I?

>>16497608
I keep a batch of boiled water in the freezer for convenience.

>>16485416
Use your keys

>>16485416
Just go to the gas station, they probably have a cork screw there

>>16485416
Who doesn't own a corkscrew? I don't even drink wine, and probably have 3.

>>16493807
I think it should be noted that this comic also answers OP's question.
>In Japan, the hand can be used as a knife.