/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Only a member of the clergy can hear confessions. You will be ex-communicated for this offense.

I just refunded the halo: master chief collection on steam so I could afford two more days of fast food until my next stipend arrives. I went to cane's today and I'm going to panda express tomorrow.

>>16399441
>I buy meat and don’t cook it for a week and then I have to throw it out
>I’ll eat frozen fish like Gortons a lot

I'm trans btw, dont know If that matters

>>16399448
How much do you weigh?

>>16399441
Sometimes I just make food without a plan and just use different shit from fridge and pantry

>>16399452
I don't know. I'm not a hamplanet though. Just a bit chubby. Being honest, please don't bully me.

I don't wash my hands after a piss break while cooking. Yes, even when I cook for others.

>>16399461
You should accept responsibility for your failings and ask the merciful, almighty, and ever-living God for forgiveness.

Also stop eating like a pig.

>>16399448
Good. Video games are bad for you.

>>16399467
Nigga that’s gross dude your guests don’t want your dick cheese in their food

I deliver food for Uber Eats and if the customer I'm delivering to has a clearly African-American name, I steal some of their food and carefully re-seal the packaging that the restaurants always half-ass seal anyways. So far I have not been caught because I have entirely 5star ratings. I have been doing this for about 6 months.

>>16399497
Very based

>>16399441
do you salt the drained pasta after it cooks? I think salting the water is a waste of salt and am considering doing this instead but don't know if it works as well.

>>16399441
I've spread refried beans on bread before.

>>16399540
>waste of salt
how fucking poor are you

>>16399467
Awful, poor form
>>16399497
This guy deserves the Gigachad

>>16399549
>not looking at things in %
you spend x% more on your salt if you salt pasta water, its not about the 5 grams or whatever.
im certain you're poor if you dont see things this way.

>>16399441
i dont like steak and i think anything lightly undercooked is fucking disgusting

>>16399573
Why would you be averse to spending $0.03 to make sure your pasta was properly seasoned throughout

>>16399588
I never liked steak much either, until I had a good one.

>>16399441
I think that curd and yogurt and oats is great meal

i pounded some twinks boy pussi so hard he was shitting blood for a couple days

I think Italian cooking, like their engineering, is a bit haphazard and sloppy. They never seem to cook their pasta for long enough. Also my mum makes a better tomato sauce than Dolmios.

I fry ramen in a pan after boiling it.

I don't measure water for rice, and don't own a rice cooker; I make it all wet and then babysit it.

I don't use egg washes on my pastries or bread.

I make soup by simmering meat (or fish) for only a couple hours and add onto it then.

I cry every day, and like it.

I subsist mostly on takeout now, since I have roommates, and am too embarrassed to cook properly.

I posted in al/ck/.

I have eaten discarded takeout off of people's doorsteps and out of trash cans.

Despite finding a can of confit on the side of the road, I have never actually eaten confit. I have no idea how to handle confit properly.

I think the bread in (canadian) MREs is pretty good.

I have actually unironically tasted both dog cock and dog cum. (it's better than human dick/cum)

I don't like game meat (deer moose etc). Not for the flavor, but it's very tough and I dislike the texture.

Not really weird depending on the cuntry, but I've had horse. I like horse meat.

I have eaten computer punch cards.

Despite having owned both charcoal and gas grills, I have never personally grilled. Always electric ranges and pans.

I have never personally dressed an animal or gutted a fish, nor prepared a whole small animal (like a rabbit) or frozen whole fish.

I don't think I've ever had rabbit.

I have never owned my own cast-iron, or at least not used one extensively at home.

>>16399540
>I think salting the water is a waste of salt
this is the special intersection of poverty and incompetence that only exists in america

heavily salt your pasta water, but then pour it into a jar and reuse it when making soup/stock since its already salty and starchy

I went to chick fil a on an impulse just because I wanted to flirt with this girl that works there I have a crush on. I got two sandwiches, but I'm not even going to eat them because I'm afraid I'll get fat.

I don't like cilantro or mashed potatoes.

>>16400132
>>16400144
fucking kill yourself furnigger

>>16400144
>>16400132
What is wrong with you?

>>16400144
kys

>>16399441
I buy precut garlic.

>>16399497
>I only steal from poor people, I'm so based
kek

>>16400196
I think he is giving himself a tip because joggers wont

>>16400072
>They never seem to cook their pasta for long enough
*sigh*
It supposed to be al dente.

>>16400132
>>16400144
what the fuck

>>16400147
Give them to some hobo dude

>>16400200
>needing a tip from poor people
Unionize, you fucking magalovers

>>16400132
holy shit fucking kill yourself.

>>16400132
Why is this allowed?

>>16400132
You should consider therapy

Ive prepared the same meal prep for almost a year now because my industry disappeared with the pandemic restrictions. I've mostly lost the love for food and just view it as a source of energy at this point.

>>16399467
Do you touch the weenor? If yes, that is unforgivable.

>>16400215
Why do you assume blacks are poor and Im a maga? You are racist and bigoted. I personally think blacks are awesome and they are smart as hell

>>16400132
>I have never owned my own cast-iron, or at least not used one extensively at home.
How dare you post on this board you fucking godless wastrel

>>16400132
Explain the dog thing?

despite being kinda edgy, i dont really like meat and prefer vegetables

when making booze, i dont take any measurements. i dont even own a hydrometer, let alone any other lab equipment

i only own one real knife, and it's a shitty dollar store ginsu/santoku style

i chop stuff on a tile countertop when im too lazy to clean a cutting board

i never use recipes and only look up recipes online to confirm general dynamics and wing it from there

i once threw up after eating sardines

i never buy chicken

>>16400238
I've actually seen counsellors on a few occasions -- most notably once after a self harm episode bad enough to go to the (physical) trauma unit. also a couple times after joining the military, I got wink-wink-nudge-nudged twice so far to see one on their terms too. All trash and not useful.

>>16400290
salty milk and coins

I regularly eat food that's been left out at room temperature for at least one day, sometimes more. Not dead yet and even my shits are normal.

I fancy myself a good shot but would never go hunting for the sole reason that I just don't eat meat unless it's cheap, and don't really have a big taste for it. I'll eat meat, but just because it's so fucking cheap, and if you eat out, every main course is a meat dish. but if I lived like some caravan gypsy, I'd never hunt and would probably mostly eat stuff that grows on trees (or bushes) and likely kill myself eating weird mushrooms. something about animals just isn't to my taste. I love eggs and honey and milk and such, and have no qualms about the treatment of animals. but meat itself is just one of those things that I'll eat, and do enjoy, but don't enjoy enough to work for it. Even grocery shopping, I only ever buy meat when it's the near-expiry stuff on sale, and usually languishes in the freezer since it's such a pain in the ass to prepare in a way that's really tasty.

>>16400298
Kill yourself then.

>>16400298
>i never use recipes and only look up recipes online to confirm general dynamics and wing it from there
ok that's based

>>16399573
you can get over 2 pounds of salt for less than a dollar

I once proposed to my school animu club to host a maid cafe, the plan went sideways so it was a bunch of male members in schoolgirl outfits instead, and skipped out on it after like an hour because I literally couldn't take the heat of the kitchen and started feeling sick, despite being a dishwasher at a popular breakfast place at the time

Italian American cuisine > Italian cuisine

i am filled with regret and barely cook because every time I think to cook, I remember all the Bad Times and then just don't, and use that my roommates are in the kitchen too often as an excuse to avoid it

>>16400298
Why are you blowing dogs?

I once made just some party nut mix stuff for my housewarming party and was so offended that only one person ate it that I didn't cook properly for weeks and months after

>>16400354
I am a bad person

>>16400376
>>16400358
>>16400349
>>16400298
>>16400144
>>16400132
Kill yourself furfaggot.

>>16400376
yeah kys then fuck

>>16400383
this but unironically

>>16400411
based!!!

when i need to peel stuff or do other fine work i just hold my santoku by the blade and fuck about that way instead of owning even a single paring knife

>>16400422
put your (((santoku))) through your fucking neck furnigger

What a shitty thread.

>>16400132
>>16400298
jesus christ

>>16400358
:(

This is, without a doubt, the worst thread, I have ever seen in my life.

>>16400132
>>16400298
take your meds

>>16400132
This thread became so degenerate that it killed itself, good job anon

>>16400132
what went so wrong in your life to make you this way

>>16400298

>>16399441
at family christmas parties everyone would always bring way too much food. i'd feel bad for various aunts that slaved over a dish only to have no one eat it. so while all the kids are opening presents and everyone is distracted, i would take large portions of their food and throw it away, giving them the impression that someone enjoyed their dish when they weren't looking.

>>16399497
In the bay area delivery guys don't discriminate. I sneak outside in the dark and hide behind a tree that's close to where they park. I caught a few of them eating my fries. They were always sheepish when found out.

>>16400298
>>16400132
why

I cook best when I've been drinking, but whenever I'm cooking anything with meat, I dump about half my bottle of beer into it. I've had no complaints from anyone thus far, but I really should be more mindful of what kind of beers would be better for the dish. I usually drink stouts & porters, but if I'm making, say, tacos or something a new england would be better.

>>16400622
the fries are going to be soggy anyways. at least someone is enjoying them before they get cold.

>>16400209
Nah, I ate them lol. They were too tempting. I'll just consider today a cheat day, and I'll lift more tomorrow. Now I'm eating a vegan chicken patty my ex left in my freezer. These things are pretty good ngl.

>>16400132
>>16400298
dude

>>16400612
I guarantee one of them saw you doing that.

>dropped a pizza face-down on the lid of a dirty sandwich toaster and sliced and served it anyway
>a bag of hamburger buns was left open and they were all slightly stale so i put them in the microwave for 30 seconds to soften them and used them anyway
>put my hand under the hot water spout of a coffee maker like it was the sink faucet without thinking and scalded the shit out of my fingers

>>16400298
FUCK OFF DASH FAGGOT. You are a subhuman

>>16399441
>Confess your /ck/ sins
My gf covered her pizza with banana chips and ketchup, and I did not bet her up over it...

I feel bad to this day...

>>16399573
I spent $1.50 on the big canister of salt in my kitchen and it's lasted me for almost a year. I salt pasta water but I only tend to cook a serving or two at a time, and I don't salt it nearly as much as people say to. Pasta water shouldn't taste like the sea, it should taste like there's a hint of salt in it.

>>16400144
>>16400132
Based and zackpilled.w4d8x

>take swigs from the open bottle anytime i'm cooking with wine
>move shit around in the skillet with my hands if I can get away with it
>don't turn my pan handles toward the stove when not in use
>use the fingers-out grip when chopping veggies
>frequently eat instant ramen
>sometimes don't oil my grill after cleaning if I think I'll use it again soon

>>16400132
dude

dipped a piece of toast with vegemite on it into a cup of milk

>>16399540
>not salting water
>not adding pasta water to the sauce

Get out.

>>16400072
Don't be afraid to chew your food, Americano.

>>16400144
Amerifats are too stupid to realise you're right. The starch in the water is as important as the pasta itself.

>>16401955
It's just that if you cook the pasta a tiny bit longer it becomes a lot better. Like seasoning your food before it gets to the table or putting a bouquet garni in and taking it out so people don't get a mouthful of herbs in their food. The little things you know? Perfectionism that Italian cuisine seems to lack

>>16399441
For a snack, I take goat cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, and balsamic vinegar. I take it and mash it up with a spoon until it makes a gravy-like constancy. I eat this nonstop

>>16400973
your gf sounds based. lay a hand on her and ill rape you

>>16399485
You don't know that. Maybe his dick cheese is the secret ingredient.

>>16399441
You don’t need to put anything in the water if you have it boiling first before you put the pasta in.

>>16400612
Aww you're such a sweetheart

I've eaten ~50 Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers in the last month. Sometimes 3-4 in a day.

>>16399441
I don't make my own pasta even though I have the equipment and know-how (not that it's hard).

Also, a lot of the times I say shit like "it's a family recipe" when in reality no one taught me how to cook, and half of my shit is improv from my pantry.

>>16399441
I eat my own snot and shit.

>>16400201
>*sigh*

>>16400132
>cook properly
You don't cook properly anyway you fucking furnigger kys

I suppose the laziest/worst thing I ever did was make an enormous bowl of icing one night (didn't even let it set, was extremely liquidy) and dip bread in it. I was really high at the time and had no munchies in. Ate half a loaf of bread that night.

>>16400132
>I posted in al/ck/.
F
still dont know what rule it was breaking

>>16401239
>don't turn my pan handles toward the stove when not in use
>use the fingers-out grip when chopping veggies
These are the only truly egregious ones in my books.

>>16402457
Are you a death feeder anon? Are you okay?

>>16400884
The first two just sound like you being frugal, the last one is just you being dumb.

I don't remember what the rules for soy sauce and sushi are, but I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong and I don't care since I'm not in Japan.
I use to eat condensed Campbell soups without adding water and adding even more seasonings. Though the first part was me just being too stupid to realize I was suppose to add water.
I doubt this is uncommon, but I hardly measure seasoning. Not even for marinades. I don't even measure for brines.

Wine in sauces is shit and overpowers the entire dish.

>>16403265
the rule usually broken with soy sauce is mixing wasabi and/or ginger into it

soy sauce is for dipping
wasabi is for spreading
ginger is a palate cleanser eaten on its own between rolls

realistically though even japs adulterate tehir soy sauce because its gud. just dont do it in formal places

>>16400132
Kill yourself furnigger.

>>16399497
Basado y pastilla roja

>>16400132
What the fuck

>>16400132
>eating horse
what the fuck

>>16399441
I boil water, cook broccoli in it, then cook pasta in the same water.

>>16403265
I worked for a sushi chef who trained in Japan and they said the biggest faux-pas is to make the wasabi-soysauce mud mixture. He was kinda based, he would make the servers mix up the wasabi as part of their prep to watch them tear up lmao
Only other think I remember is to accept the plate with both hands. Other than that who cares really, nips are quiet and passive aggressive so they won't say shit anyways.

>>16400132
being a dog fucker who cant cook is one thing but
>I have eaten computer punch cards

WHAT

>>16403370
>rub ginger into the wasabi
>put wasabi into the soy sauce
>unsheath katana

what they gonna do

>>16400298
>>16400132
why is this allowed

>>16403370
>>16403381
>the biggest faux-pas is to make the wasabi-soysauce mud mixture
W-wait, I did this at a fancy sushi restaurant the other day. One of my fellow diners followed my lead, the other two didn't. Will everyone think I'm a cultureless retard?

>>16403395
yeah but theyll quietly seethe because there is literally no food that a faint touch of wasabi doesnt make better

>>16403399
Most wasabi is actually horseradish, so in order to amend for your food sin of not recognizing the glory of horseradish, you must chug a gallon of Arby’s horsey sauce. Good luck, my son.

>>16403405
true, but the stuff genuine wasabi is made of is very similar, and a touch of horseradish makes everything better too.

>>16400144
>that image
Kill Yourself.

>>16403406
Fuck yeah horseradish is delicious

>>16399441
I don't own a toaster and during summer I don't want to heat up the oven so I just put my toast over an range burner and kind of lightly burn each side to approximate toast.

>>16403459
Just do it in a pan you tremendous retard
That’s how you cook tortillas but not bread

>>16403395
If they are knowledgeable about Japanese sushi etiquette then yeah they'll think your a typical American/Westerner
They could also not even know and just not like wasabi.
Honestly it doesn't fucking matter, the Japanese have a saying "お客様は神様です" (okyakusama wa kamisama desu)
"The customer is god"
As long as you don't look like a nip you just get a clueless tourist pass in Japan.

>>16403476
Yeah but then i'd have to wash the egg residue out of my pan and wait to toast while my eggs are getting cold.

>>16403502
Eggs get hard after you cook them, similarly, have you never heard of a fucking toad in the hole? I’m gonna toad in your fucking hole if you don’t get your shit together cunt

>>16403340
>mixing with wasabi
I don't even use the wasabi. How am I even suppose to use that? My dad does do that however. Is it suppose to be good to do that?
>soy sauce for dipping
Yeah usually I just dip the rolls in soy sauce, but I'm sure incorrectly. Sometimes I'll just drizzle soy sauce over the rolls, but that's when I get one of those take out sushi from the grocery store and don't have a place to put the soy sauce. The ginger I eat afterwards.

I leave my beef tallow in my cast iron from my last cook session and use it again unless there's old food all in it.

I don't like eggs, any type of seafood, or potatoes.

>>16401872
Did something similar whilst hungover af in England. Dipped toast with butter on tea. I was studying there as an exchange kid, I swear I can still hear her laughter when she told everyone in school the day after. I'm sure she still says the story every now and then. Worst is that even by my open standards that's weird, I was just so hungover/still drunk that it didn't even register until after I'd done it.

Tbf her room was a complete mess, like a true British lass, so in my head I won an absurd moral battle since that shit wouldn't fly in my country of origin.

BROS I NEED HELP.
WHAT SHOULD I HAVE WITH MY BANH MI:
NACHO CHEESE DORITOS
COOL RANCH DORITOS

Those are the only two options.

>>16399448
just download it from Fitgirl's repack site, anon.

>>16403654
WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION FAGGOT

>>16400132
>>16400298
Somebody should shoot you, I'm not kidding.

>>16403831
honestly pretty much everything he said is mild
you guys are just normalfags
I'd drink his questionable homebrew booze with him desu

>>16399467
>Have a fap
>Coom
>"Man I'm hungry now"

I'm not ashamed.

>>16399448
Buy ingredients instead of expensive fast food. The price you pay for a meal at Panda Express spent on brown rice and beans will last a lot longer.

>>16399461
You're more than just a bit chubby and we all know it. Stop wasting your pathetic life eating junk food and living off stipends. Even cooking yourself one meal will grant you an amount of accomplishment you likely haven't felt in years.

>>16400132
>I have actually unironically tasted both dog cock and dog cum. (it's better than human dick/cum)
How would someone ironically taste dog cum?

>>16400147
What kind of faggot shit is this

>>16400132
gay

>>16399461
you can always change anon. just do it slowly. drink more water, limit take out food to x amount per week or month, learning how to cook, exercise and so forth

>>16399497
lmao based anon

>>16403737
Honestly there's nothing wrong with what you did and she's a bitch for laughing at you.

I cook my ribs in a pressure cooker instead of grilling them because I'm fucking lazy.

>>16403654
>t. pic related

>>16399441
OP, for fuck's sake toss in a teaspoon of salt. Your pasta will become perfect.

>measure weight of every food before they get on the plate
>have database on some of the most common food that I eat
>have an excel spreadsheet to record and measure the amount of nutrition I take in
>bring laptop with me everytime I eat to record intake and watch family guy funny compilation #37 on youtube

>>16399449
me too

>>16400132
jeez even as a degen fur you make me feel normal man

>>16403498
Fuckin weeb

>>16399441
I barbecued a 3 months old camembert

>>16399441
obligatory incest post

>>16399449
Nothing wrong with snap frozen fish, it's arguably more fresh than ''fresh'' fish unless it was same day caught. Frozen vegetables are more fresh too.

I don't eat junk food, i like the fillet of fish and use jarred sauce for pasta.

>>16404579
>Nooo111! you can't just learn the language of the country with the 3rd largest GDP and 11th largest population
>fucking moonrunes are too hard for a brainlet like me reeeeeeee
lel get filtered

>>16403654
>I don't like eggs
Disagree but not unheard of
>any type of seafood
Used to be like this until i discovered sushi, and eventually shellfish.
>or potatoes
Ok that's just retarded. The flavor is so mild and inoffensive, how can anybody not like mashed potatoes? French fries? Roasted in oil & herbs? Fucking fingerlings? Chips?? How?+

i eat garlic straight up like candy whenever i get some, it just makes me feel nice.

>>16404513
my life hasnt even been particularly crazy, i just made and continue to make a lot of bad decisions

that said im always jealous of the aging gangsters i meet because they too seem mostly normal and then some random hard shit comes out and even i feel downright normie in comparison. last man i had a crush on got put away for rape and aint coming out any time soon lmao. god damn the irish

i dont really pay attention to flavours i just cook what i have, the salad doesnt have to "pair" with the protein as long as each item tastes nice

>>16404902
KILL YOURSELF

>>16404902
>furry drakengard 3 OC

i have officially seen everything

>>16404902
>last man i had a crush on got put away for rape
You really know how to choose them huh?

>>16399441
enjoy your bland as fuck pasta retard

>>16404984
fucking micks, am i right?

What do you want me to do, be normal? that dude was probably the most even-headed one I've met so far in my area; everyone else is an overcompensating hood rat crackhead or crackhead-adjacent, or the type of cringe whitey who refers to his canine teeth as "fangs" or needs bottles of anxiety meds to even report in to work

>>16405030
sir this is a Wendy's

>>16404456
That's not enough, you need 10g per litre of water, and 1 litre of water per 100g of dried pasta.

>>16405030
try jumping

>>16405030
>in my area
Maybe you should try moving out to a normal place. I have never seen the kind of people you describe outside very small groups of attention seekers.

>>16405071
where are all these normal people

even dating aside (though tfw no bf) fukken where

>>16399441
Due to my unhealthy obsession with ketchup, I spread it on toasted bread to snack on after running out of cheddar cheese and lunch and meat.

I actually believe in the 3 second rule.

I tasted chicken blood after a palo event to feel my ancestors. They later told me that doesnt work like that.

I actually like vegan foods.

i don't eat raw, uncooked or warm/cold meats

>>16404902
yeah me and my bf are effectively the opposite furs of u, self control boogaloo
dont act on ur fantasies and good luck finding a stable gay man shits a mine field

>>16399441
I have eaten dog and also a bit of my own flesh

for breakfast today i had 2 gortons fish filets on two english muffins each topped with a runny poached egg, and it was surprisingly good desu

>>16406725
what does human taste like

>>16404456

Bro thats heavily undersalted. The expression goes "salty like the ocean"

>>16406733
frog

>>16400196
The same poor people spending more money on a food delivery app

>>16399497
I think a Muslim delivery driver did this to me once because he thought I was a jew

I'm too lazy to cut up fresh garlic and use the jar minced garlic instead.

I very heavily prefer Jif Reduced Fat Peanut Butter for its taste and slightly gritty texture.

Its the only Peanut Butter I've bought since I moved out of my parents house and I usually keep 10 40z Jars of it in my pantry in case they ever discontinue it

>>16406804
nothing wrong with that m8

>>16406811
>They discontinue it.
>The batch of Jif you have has salmonella in it.

>>16406821
Id still eat it anyway to be honest

I haven't eaten fast food, ketchup and frozen food for 23 years.

The last time I used a microwave was 16 years ago.

I tried habanero once, threw everything in the bin straight away. That was 18 years ago.

I've never tasted American mozzarella, parmesan or serrano in my life, nor will I ever.

>>16407092
your favorite food?

>>16400132
>>16404902
Be my fren.

>>16400376
Plenty of people are, but few eat dog cocks.
What the real reason? I'm genuinely fascinated on how these kind of retarded fetishes can form

>>16407092
>being alive for more than 23 years
Ngmi

>>16406798
>curb your enthusiasm theme plays

>>16404630
>jarred sauce for pasta
Ive had some store-bought pesto once or twice, what other is there? Bolognese I always make fresh.

>>16407749
tasting =/= eating

i always eat my leftover food cold, no exceptions and as i usually prep food for 4-5 days at once that means i eat 9 out of 10 meals cold

>>16400132
a couple months ago I found an entire crown fried chicken order sitting at a bus stop and took it home and ate the whole thing. I think it gave me worms because my shit has been stringy most days since.

>>16399441
Often times I'll eat steak well done and I like it.

>>16408385
>spend 800 on steaks
>guests tell me they like em well done
i wanted to fucking mcshot myself

I salt and pepper my chicken and ground beef when browning them regardless of what meal I’m actually cooking
I always add more onion/garlic/mushrooms than a recipe calls for because they taste good
I have zero idea how to take proper care of a knife
[spoiler] I rinse my chicken and freeze my grease [spoiler]

>>16409350
>[spoiler]
cool story newfag

>>16399441
I put orange juice instead of milk in my Müesli

>>16399449
the meat's a waste but whatever, frozen fish is absolutely fine, depending on the species it'll probably be fresher than buying it from a monger or just chilled from the shops that day anyway

>>16400147
get that bunion sorted

>>16409350
why freeze it? it becomes decently solid just in the fridge. animal fats will become mostly solid even at room temperature

>>16399441
I have above average to excellent cooking skills yet i still constantly order takeout and buy processed food

>>16399441
If you dont salt your water youre a total idiot and you fit this board perfectly

>>16410810
Me too, well I'm not that good but I can make a good amount of things, but I still eat out too much. Nothing like being a lazy piece of garbage.

>>16411081
damn

>>16411220
I only regret not getting chocolate milk.

>>16399446
good

>>16400132
>>16400298
>>16400358
>>16404902
>>16405030
why the FUCK is this allowed

>>16403946
>Eating brown rice and beans instead of orange chicken

cringe

>>16400196
So you're saying all niggers are poor? Are you a racist?

>>16400132
>I have eaten computer punch cards.

Not even the jannies can clean this level of filth

>>16403950
I'm actually just a bit chubby but nice try schizo-kun

I put 3-4 times the amount of garlic in my meals and sometimes I regret cutting so much but just put it in anyway

I like to chop up Canned Smoked Oysters, crush up Kettle Brand Salt and Vinegar Chips, mix them all together and pour the oil over it, then eat it with a fork.

>>16399441
i now basically make most my food in a rice cooker... literall just rice, bunch of frozen veggies, some dry mushrooms, when its done i just put a spoon of sojsauce and fisch sauce, peanut butter into it and crack two or three eggs into it...
Its the cheapest, most tasty,healthy food i have i currently make and i dont even need oven.. just electricity for the rice cooker and its done in 15 minutes..

>>16400622

>I sneak outside in the dark and hide behind a tree that's close to where they park

things that never happened for 100 alex

>>16411234
>not using a spoon and bowl made out of candy
At least try anon. At least try.

>>16412990
they werent antiques or anything, it was key tape for modern systems that has to be disposed of after use anyway.

>>16399441
I cook twice a day but I realized I was more into the logistic aspect than the results, how to work smarter, what efforts only lead to diminishing returns and thus can be skipped. For example I got into single serving lasagna recently and I don't pre cook anything, I soften sheets with warm water just so I can cut them in half, mix raw meat, raw vegs and tomato sauce together, build the thing and just start baking. I'm lactose intolerant and I still haven't experimented oat milk bechamel, I doubt it's worth it.

I cook almost everything in my pressure cooker, risotto, paella, stews, soups... the amount of cooking time saved is just invaluable.

>>16411081
>eating candy out of a bowl that isnt even round
do americans REALLY?

>>16408385
well done steaks are fine, it's just at restaurants you shouldnt do it since they burn the fuck out of it on their 9000 degree grills

same for backyard grilling too

if you do it in a normal pan or in the oven at lower heat it's perfectly fine

>>16399441
i put a fuckton of sriracha in my pho to the point i might as well say i have a side of pho with my sriracha

>>16404115
Huh? I mean pathetic sure, but gay? nah
>>16410310
If I did, I wouldn't be weight bearing for 6 weeks. I take care of my disabled mother, so it's not really practical. I wish I could though, they fucking hurt.

>>16413967
a nobel sacrifice, anon

>>16414085
or y'know, noble, if I wasn't fucking retarded

>>16399448
lmao been there

>jarred minced garlic is fine for a lot of recipes
>microwaved scrambled eggs are fine
>tuna from pouch directly is fine
>call it shepherds pie with ground beef, don't care
>use plates as cutting board when I own 6 cutting boards
>put ketchup on steak
>break my spaghetti in half

>>16403756
>FatGuy
DODI is way better

>>16414161
>>16403756
it doesn't matter you can't play a pirated game online

>>16414164
Wrong, there are a lot of games you can do that with

>>16414269
on pirate servers with other poorfags

I don't make my own condiments except for salad dressings.

I sometimes eat bread or donuts.

I sometimes accidentally let meat go bad because I'm too lazy to bag and freeze it.

I only make about three different soups. It's getting old.

Sometimes I don't take the bay leaf out of my soup before adding a bunch of stuff to it, so I then have to spend way more time trying to find the bay leaf than I otherwise would.

>>16414280
Are you anorexic? Why are you considering bread or donuts a sin

>>16414286
carbs are bad 4 u

>>16414286
I try to eat as few grains as possible. My body reacts poorly to them.

>>16414292
Oh that makes sense then if you physically can't but eating bread or donuts isn't a sin
>>16414290
Retarded

>>16414313
But I also think grains are bad for anyone. As far as I know, they wreck gut health and shock the system with a sugar spike.

>>16400132
What the fuck

>>16400132
Thank you for making me feel better about myself, furtard

>>16399446
anyone can hear them, retard, only a clergy member can absolve them.

there is not a food in the world I will not cut up, coat in batter and shallow-fry. Everything in my fridge and cupboard is potentially a grease pancake.

>>16406798
>why does everyone suspect me of being a jew, and not a fellow goy?
t. Chaim Judenshekel

>>16414326
No they don't. Humans need sugar. You have a balanced diet and you won't experience a "sugar spike". I am not diabetic. Stop fearmongering you freak

>>16399441
I jerk off more times than I eat during a day.

Also, I like Burger King.

I eat directly from my cookware whenever I can so I don't have to wash a plate

>>16399441
I like scrambled eggs fried on oil better than ones fried on butter

>>16400215
>>16400196
all blacks are poor? what the fuck dude

>>16400132
Why are you even still alive?

I really like the Gordon Ramsay scrambled eggs

>>16399545
Beans and bread are a very popular combination. It's usually a stew or soup, or refried beans and a tortilla, but not out of the ordinary at all.

>>16400132
You stupid fucking nigger. End your life.

>>16400343
>the plan went sideways so it was a bunch of male members in schoolgirl outfits instead
If you were really an animu club you should've seen that one coming.

I have a serious vore fetish and have masturbated repeatedly to memories of the time that i had a lesbian couple over for dinner and one of them (the hot one) made a whole thing out of swallowing albanese gummy bears whole afterwards.
The dinner: chicken piccata
The boner: mine

>>16399497
protip: keep a stapler in your car

>>16399467
I do the same for number 2, unironically had two dumps today and haven't washed my hands yet.

>>16399588
You dont like steak because you only eat it overcooked lmao

>>16400144
this is actually a really good idea. i make my own stock/broth from leftover veg ends and bones, so next time i make pasta sauce here in a few days i'm going to save a jar of the pasta water to add to the stock pot. thank you. what the fuck is that picture though?

>>16400645
i've found that cheap lagers (PBR, Bud heavy, etc) are the best for almost anything. i do this too. IPAs and sours are not to be cooked with. stouts and porters are good for stews. white wine good for seafood and chicken, red wine for red meat. whiskey vodka or cognac are good to deglaze for pan sauces.

>>16403268
a glug or two in the onions/garlic/peppers/shrooms a glug or two after you break up the ground beef/pork/sausage but before it's fully done to get the fond/burnt bits off the pan, and a few more glugs after the sauce cooks for a while (maybe 1/2-3/4 cup total for a big pot of tomato sauce) is the correct way to cook

>>16414376
Why would someone who is not in the clergy hear confessions? You're a dummy.

>>16399441
Me too I also don't beak the spegi

I once made pasta in a microwave by heating up a bowl of water with salt and putting pasta into it, then reputting it into the microwave
it was salty

>>16401239
>move shit around in the skillet with my hands if I can get away with it
Based

>>16399461
>Just a bit chubby
yeah I'm not believing you

>>16400144
You're a genius. You make it easy to find the anons that get put on the block list lol

Not sure if this is worth confessing or not but I want to make some onion rings but I'm out of milk and eggs. I mean wouldn't flour and water to make a basic batter be serviceable? Or would it not adhere to the onions well when I fry it?

I dont cook, but I like to look at recipies

>>16400132
Bruh

>>16418314
why not try it and see for yourself, dont see why not

>>16419746
Yeah I tried it and it was serviceable. However I made the mistake of frying them in coconut oil and now my gut feels like shit.

>>16400132
I don't care if this is LARP or not, this is actual subhuman behavior and (you) should be banned regardless

>>16400132
A true explorer of life.

>>16416782
I realized the true value after using my brainmeats to make cause-effect relationships when a buddy brought a slow cooker to my new(ish) place and we crammed it with stuff from a local asian grocer, but it included these pellets of noodle-like starch. The resulting broth was very, very thick. I saved my pasta water out of poverty and found it an inadequate but better-than-nothing thickener for other things

>>16419482
>>16419920
>>16420059
I get sad a lot after drinking because of this kind of thing. I've fucked around and found out, but not well enough to be fun and wholesome like the gangsters are, but too much to ever be even a 2020 tier "normie" ever again

>>16400132
>I think the bread in (canadian) MREs is pretty good.

>>16400132
Find your nearest gun store and attempt to attack everyone inside
>>16403756
Based pirate. Have a (You)

>>16404984
This dude actually came up unprompted tonight at my local joint; the previous chef came in for a beer and had trained/turned over to that one.

Turned out he didn't rape A kid. He raped TWO kids. And I thought they were like 15 or even 17 or something. Nah. Under 10. No "ebephopile" energy, a real legit fuckin' chomo goof. Still quite the charmer regardless, and a fine chef. (His menu is actually still mostly in place and barely modified)

And here I was thinking of asking the guy to hold my hand while I got a sleeve of koi running up waterfalls or something.

>>16420195
>fucking with gun stores
A strong gun (or at least weapon) culture is integral to the sovereignty of a nation and the freedom of its inhabitants. Even if I were to kill myself, it'd be morally wrong to impose any such trouble on my local gun store. Besides, if I kill myself at my LGS, where will I buy 95 Tavors?

>>16420164
>>16420223

kill your fucking self

>>16420223
>>16420164
>>16404984
>>16404902
>>16400132
this is why al/ck/ is gone

>>16400132
>>16420177
>(canadian)
Is this Canadians echoing throught history

>>16420223
why the fuck havent you killed yourself yet

>>16400132
What the actual fuck.

>>16400196
this, but unironically

>>16400132
Imagine being this Degenerate.

>>16400376
stop posting then

>>16400252
I want to hear more. What do you meal prep?

>>16400376
Doom Bagels aren't inherently bad