/ck/ - Food & Cooking

He'd bleed from three different orifices.

>>16159184
He'd have sudden explosive shits because I'd poison him.

>>16159184
He'd like it since I'm a good cook

IT'S FUCKIN RAW

I don't let rude showboats have my food in the first place. I can't believe there's competitions to work for him when he treats his employees so terribly and screams and calls them donkeys.

>>16159268
Shut the fuck up Kenji you stupid pussy ass bitch

>>16159268
You know that it‘s all either just for show or to harden their psyche because they can‘t be weak and soft when working in a kitchen, it‘s a hard and stressful job. I‘ve heard multiple times that he‘s a really nice guy off-camera. Also you‘re a little crybaby I‘m sure someone like you would not be able to work in a kitchen.

>>16159268
Shut up Kenji

OH FUCK ME

>>16159184
Like this

>>16159639
>it‘s a hard and stressful job

lol, you guys say the funniest things

whip out his dick and start fapping before the empty plates are cleared away and the pudding has been served

>>16159652
I‘m not kidding being a professional cook in a busy kitchen is not easy

>>16159681
okiee here's your medal, you win the hard worker award you hard worker!

>>16159184

>iam looking for an italian, hes this tall and smells like this picrel

>this soup is dry!
>its dry!

>its burned, the water is burned

>oh come on, come - on
>its raw! deez nutz are raw!

Honestly other than that I don't spice my food with anything other than salt and pepper.
Iam not sure Gordo would care. And then maybe not eat it.

>>16159184
i dont think he would get angry, im not trying to be a chef im just learning it as a hobby
he would be like okay keep it up

>>16159689
I‘ve never worked in a kitchen but I have friends who do and I have visited them.
Also multiple accounts online or reallife of cooks telling how their work life is.
I‘m not trying to depict myself as a hard worker bruh, I just don‘t wanna discredit their work

>>16159720
I heard from a cook who is a cousin of the concubine that I regularly consort with that if you life a pie in the air it's the equivalent of lifting 70,000 pies in the air.

crazy, that doesn't even account for windowsill cooling wars

>>16159720
you absolute donkey

dinner service is cancelled, get the customers out of here

>>16159736
There are actually people out there doing psychically and physically exhausting jobs who are not just sitting around in mommies basement masturbating to hentai, crazy I know.
>>16159741
Yes chef

>>16159720
working the line is a very hard and important job, that's why it's the career of choice for winos and meth heads.

>>16159764
>There are actually people out there doing psychically and physically exhausting jobs

I know, they sure as hell aren't cooks though.

>>16159764
You know who works hard? Hookers who asphyxiate themselves for money, that's hard.

cooks crack eggs into frying pans, that's easy

>>16159184
Probably thinks its shit. But at least I can make a cheese toastie

>>16159184
IT'S FUCKING RAW!

He'd probably hold it upside down and freak the fuck out when it falls down like he does with everything else.

>>16159184
I had tempeh teriyaki, so I'm guessing he would sperg the fuck out.

YOU CANT EAT 2D FOOD YOU FUCKING DONKEY

>>16159184
He'd probably be worried about the big sip of vodka I take each step. Also would say my food is garbage, which I wouldn't argue about.

I overseason everything so he wouldn't call it bland

However, I mostly eat mushy slop.

>>16159681
huh well maybe it would be easier without him yelling at everyone

>>16159184
If he’s not in front of a camera, i’d assume he’d offer constructive criticism.

>>16160783
It‘s obvious at this point that most of the drama is just for the show. Nobody wants to watch Gordon massaging someones shoulders while whispering the instructions on how to do a beef wellington in the ear.

>>16160826
OP probably does.

>>16159184
Probably say I over salt a lot but do classic comfort food.

>>16159268
He only really screams in the AMERICAN shows, go watch some of his UK and International stuff. Hell, compare the first episode of Kitchen Nightmares UK, Momma Cherri's Soul Food Shack, to any of his US ones and see how much he loves actually helping people when they'll listen.

He'd probably be polite and enjoy it if I executed it well. I know when my food is good or bad. He only gets mad at the retards that can't cook despite being executive chef at a restaurant. I'd make my quiche or tamarind paneer indian curry.

>>16159184
>presentation is dogshit
>beautifully seasoned
>it's quite nice, actually
Probably like that.

>>16159184
How come everybody on kitchen nightmares says their food is a 9 or 10? Like clockwork every single time. I'd probably rate my food at like 6 or 7. It's completely edible, Good, but I'm not getting michelin stars anytime soon. Maybe once in a while the planets will align and I'll cook up an 8 or 9 but it's hard to imagine the level of ego inflation required to say that everything on your entire menu is 10/10 every time. I doubt gordon even says that shit about his own restaurants because he's not completely unglued from reality.

>>16159786
I'd rather deep throat dick for money than be a line cook anyday, no homo

>>16161497
Because if they weren't arrogant conceited retards they wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

YOU ARE BURNING EVERYTHING STUPID

>>16159248
this

I wouldn't allow him to try my food, it's too expensive to share and I'm cheap.

>>16160722
Stop bragging about alcoholism.

No one is impressed and it makes you look pathetic.

>>16162061
I'm impressed, think being an alcoholic is really cool, based even, and that he and others should continue posting about it.

>>16161497
>show is built around a simple structure
>"why is this thing that happens every episode happening again?"

>>16162061
I'm impressed by it. Speak for yourself.