/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>velveted chicken
don't have any velvet in them

https://youtu.be/zvq9r6R6QAY

>activated almonds
doesn't have any active in them

>rocky road ice cream
>not a single chunk of asphalt in it

>>16134682
>chicken
>contains no ken

>el pollo loco
>chicken was described by psychologist as "well-rounded, stable, and outgoing"

>>16134682
But they actually do

Caramel is essentially just browned sugar, and there's a decent amount of sugar in onions that browns when you caramelise them, so technically speaking, yes they do have caramel in them

>>16134759
but it's very chic, right anon?

>>16134682
You've never had caramel onions?

>>16134764
kek

>pb&j sandwich
no pee in there

>>16134682
found the retard. caramelized onions have a bunch of caramel in them.

>>16134682
>white wine
>actually yellow

>>16134682
>spotted dick?
yep, thats a tranny

>>16135019
>red wine
>actually purple

>>16135012
caramelized onions are one of the few foods that where people use the term "caramelize" correctly

>>16134682
reddit tier fag thread

>>16135440
jump out a window!

>>16135440
lurk moar

>>16135500
>jump out a window!
Isn’t windy and hurts a lot more than just “ow”.

>>16135440
>reddit tier fag thread

>>16134682
>what is browned sugar?
Retard.

>>16134979
Why would you do that? Just going on the internets and start lying like that

>>16134682
So we're supposed to name something and make a false claim about it? Ok:

>OP
>Not a faggot

>>16135544
>what is Pyrolysis?

>>16134738
I know where they're hiding the caramel ;^)

>>16135432
>>16135531
retards...

>>16135531
You don't add sugar to caramelized onions...

>>16135870
There's already sugar in them and you are browning it.

>>16134682
they do tho, pinkoid

>>16135870
Just fuck off

>>16134682
>He doesn't put caramel candies into his caramelized onions

>gatorade
>fruity vegetarian drink

>longpig
>isn't particularly long
>tastes like chicken

>>16134682
>blue moon icecream
>don't have any cheese in them

>>16134682
>baby back ribs
>not ribs from a baby

>marbled meat
>no marbles

>Rare steak
>Lots of other people can order it

>>16136271
We call it Blue Goo in Hoosierville

>>16134764
Was the chicken well loved in the community and was turning his life around?

>jerk chicken
>chicken actually got along well with peers

>burger
>never burgs

>>16136920
>french toast
doesn't seem to understand french

>>16134682
>Affogato
>I remembered

>seafood
>some are from lakes and rivers

>big mac
>big, but no mac

>>16135704
in their buttholes, if you know what i mean ;;;;^^^^))))

>>16136699
El Pollo "Fell Upon Hard Times But Was A Gentle Giant" isn't a menu-tier name

>>16135242
>rose
>there is not a single fucking petal in this bottle

>>16136122
>gatorbade
>fucker won't stop screaming

>cola
>no sugar

>hotdog
>made out of beef

Fermented, contains wine, didn't even get a buzz

>>16137056
Lol but "deranged stranger" is making its rounds now

>>16137080
>Eden
THATS MY LAST NAME LMFAOOOOOO

>>16137076
are you sure? picrel

>>16134682
>hotdogs
>not even hot

>mashed potatoes
>doesn't come with toes

>>16135440
Wouldnt be able to tell as unlike you I dont go on reddit.

>>16137216
>reddit
>never read it

>>16134733
they have velveeta, close enough

>>16136967
oh god we've only had affogado for a week and I'm already sick of this pun

>>16134682
god does it get any better than roasted/caramelized vegetables bros

>>16137513
>puke chicken
who's to blame for this abomination?

>cornish hen
>not even a hint of corn

>funny shitpost thread
>no funny posts

>Coq au vin
No cocks or vines

>turkey
>originated in america and not turkey

>add pinch of salt
>pinch salt shaker without actually adding any
OOH WAH AH AH AH

>black lives matter

They don't

Does anyone else like to sear their steaks to get nice, caramelized crust that locks in the juices?

>>16139080
No.

>>16134996
No bees in there, either.

>>16136122
>no gators in it
>no AIDS, either

>>16135683
A made up word from the government

> dragon fruit
> doesn't even come from dragons

> OP is a female
> is actually a tranny

>chuck steak
>never turns into a sneed steak

>>16136772
>jerk chick
>it didn't even come

>fish n chips
>not one tube of pringles on the hook by the end of the day

>pocari sweat
>doesn't contain sweat

>blue vein cheese
>there's no veins in it

>>16134755
It's ROCKY road, not smooth asphalt road

>pizza
>Formula to calculate volume is actually pi*z*z*a if z is the radius and a is the height

>>16135870
>You don't add sugar to caramelized onions
if you dont cook your onions in brown sugar and beer, you're a fucking faggot

>>16140566
Nice.

>>16140566
based mathfag

>>16134682
Am I still banned

>>16140566
How about you calculate the volume of this dick in your ass.

>>16140623
>>16140624
okay thats it im re-banning your ass

>>16139979
They actually had to stop farming pocari's back in the 80s because of some gay (((UN))) animal rights regulation. They kept the name, though, sort of like coca cola

>>16140609
>if you dont cook your onions in brown sugar and beer, you're a fucking faggot
I guess I am a faggot.

>>16134682

>beef
>actually made from cows, not beefallo

>>16134682

>Bangers and mash
>Don't have any bangs

>fish sticks
>cheese sticks
no tree parts in either one

>>16134682
>Creamed corn
>doesn't have any jizz in it

>>16134682
>deviled ham
>doesn't react to holy water

>chicken fingers
>chickens ain't got fingers

>>16140566
Well done you magnificent bastard

>>16137053
im out of the loop, what do you mean?

>>16137705
>weeb
>will never be a woman

>>16139080
i try to get more a seared bite each time I work with meat

>>16134682
I always add a little sugar and English sauce to my onions.

>roast beef
>comes with no bad jeff ross jokes about beef

>>16134682
>doesn’t understand why he’s wrong and retarded
Caramel is basically cooked sugar. You call things caramelized because you’re cooking the sugars in them and turning it to caramel

>>16134682
But they do! That lovely color comes from caramelized sugar.

>>16135527
I like these threads. Reddit is just fucking gay and this type of thread would be filled with gay shit with everyone trying their hardest to appeal to faggot reddit humor to get upvotes.
Also
>Cast iron
>Not enough mana

>>16144187
You don't like reddit?

>Kumquats
>Don't taste like cum

>Rocky Mountain Oysters
>Don't come from the sea
>Don't come from the mountains
>Should have been called kumquats instead of kumquats

>>16137070
>Coke
>no coke

>>16135440
>>16135527
>>16144187

>>16140566
what were the Italians up to...

>>16144241
>cum doesn taste like kumquats

>devilled eggs
>doesn't remove my fedora

>>16134682
>caramel, basically heated up sugar
>onions sugars get heated up becoming sweet and caramelized

horrible thread

>>16134682
>Grilled cheese
>Cheese never touched the grill at all

I always end up burning my onions even on low fucking heat

>>16146724
What kind of weirdo grilled cheese do you eat?

>>16134682
>OP is a faggot
>OP has indeed never had heterosexual sex

>>16146810
>hair

Not sure if retarded or just trolling.

>>16135242

>black people
>actually brown

>pot pie
>Not made in a pot

>>16134682
>spotted dick

>>16135531

are you retarded?

>>16134764
keeek

>>16140566
nice

>>16146859
factually untrue