/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15972796
i tried once, the buffet workers through me down the mashed potato geyser

>>15972796
Yeah... the waitress >;)

>>15972800
many such cases

>>15972800
Similar thing happened to me. The soup bouncer caught me and shoved my hand in the macaroni trough. Lost my fossil wrist watch and got 2nd degree burns

>>15972796
in college we had AYCE in the cafeteria, and I would consistently take cinnamon raisin bagels spread with peanut butter for my weekend poverty meals (only on the 10 meal plan)

i stuff half a dozen brownies from golden corral into my man purse whenever i go

>>15972796
Pizza Hut buffet, used to take tuppawarre containers in a backpack and fill it the fuck up with a bunch of other kids, half the time we'd skip on the bill as well

>>15972796
as a fat kid yes, i would stuff pizza into my pocket

i once took a whole tray of chicken on a band trip

>>15972934
imagine the smell

>>15972796
do single moms count?

Dude, all the time. Especially on vacation if I wanted to sleep late but had to get up before the breakfast buffet closed. Make a to-go plate for later, return to room, and back in bed for as long as I want.

My ultra obese sisters and uncle were banned from a chinese buffet because... well you know why

>>15972796
that sounds highly unethical

>>15972796
I tried once and they forced me to strip down to just my boxers for the rest of the meal, was horrendously embarrassing because the group I was with refused to leave as we had just started eating and usually go back for at least thirds. I just wanted to save a few grapes in my pocket for later...

>>15974665
they went to the wong fat buffet?

>>15972804
HOOOOOOOOOT

>>15974550
This. Even if I actually go down for breakfast I always take a pastry or muffin or whatever for later. I mean if it's included, how are you not allowed to take whatever you want?
What's more, I work in a hotel and I've seen many people take multiple muffins. Most people will just take whatever (even if staff is around) without asking.

>>15974665
They went around the buffet pulling their eyes apart shouting "me godzirra, me so horney" while knocking peoples food out of their hands and when they shat themselves they called it a Cambodian genocide because their "killing fields were full"?

I smuggle a serving platter in from home because the plates they give you are too small

>>15972796
You bet, interestingly it was a bunch of delicious croissants
My family is chinese

>>15972796
Guilt and wider waist line.

This thread is hilarious

Went to an animal sheltel and stole a dog, was delicioso

I guess it is kind of the opposite of stealing, but I'll usually vomit 2,3,4 times whenever I go to a buffet. I'm paying for what I can eat, not what I can hold down, and I won't be cheated out of my money.

>>15976017

>>15976026
the roman way

>>15973715
got any tips on picking up single moms?

>>15973029
You haven't thought of the smell you bitch!

>>15976451
depends on the color of the kid. If they're brown don't bother, but if they're white you just need to let her know your looking for something serious. Those bitches are desperate to lock a man down.

pain and suffering

>>15972804
I don't get it

>>15972796
My jew dad once managed to take home about 20 pounds of crab legs from a Chinese buffet once after making the argument that the phrase "all you can eat" doesn't specify the timeframe in which you can eat it, and that he would be eating it all at some point. We dined like kings for a week.

>>15976451
Tell them they have a cute kid and say you'd really love to babysit him/her.

>>15972796
my grandpa does and I hate it, the dog is happy though

>>15976896
He ate a human woman

>>15972796
When I was 20, a young second-time specialist back from his first deployment, me and my buds got hammered and tool a tray of roast beef, bread, and some pies from a golden corral to take to the strip club for making sandwiches. We stopped at wal mart and got a squeeze bottle of horseradish and a bunch of cheese too, carrying the beef and shit around while shopping.

We weren't kicked out of the club initially but later antics (someone trying to make and eat a different kind of roast beef sandwich while the cow was still alive and performing) necessitated it. Frankly I'm shocked nobody got arrested that night.

>>15977955
Your father is the kind of cheapskate that inspires signs at businesses detailing exactly what you can and cannot do.

>>15977955
>week-old crab legs
Nasty

>not bringing your own food to a buffet

Really wish I had a way to steal those red bean sesame balls from the chinese places

>>15972796
FUCK I have a story about OPs pic
>at buffet with family
>eat
>want to take some home for later
>they charge like $8 for to go boxes
>decide to literally pocket some chicken strips
>forget all about them
>end up tripping and falling in puddle in parking lot
>get home and immediately put pants in washer
>open thing when done
>see shredded chicken and breading everywhere
>have to run washer dozen times to get rid of everything
>clothes smell like chicken and lavender for a month
>