/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15784128
(Biological) men can't get pregnant.

What kind of degenerate freezes bananas with the peel on?

>>15784128
i have a gigantic penis making it impossible for me to be pregnant

parsley, penny royal, vitamin C etc
I used to crave parsley so much, I stuffed it in my cootchie

My wife craved stuff like pickles, clamato, picked jalapeño, kind of vinegary stuff.

>>15784139
It prevents freezer burn by adding a protective later. I saw it on insta

>>15784200
Then how do you get the peel off?

>>15784232
Same way you peel your pants off, big boy ;)

>>15784131
Why did you put biological there?

>>15784128
Tits or gtfo.
My mom craved Jimmy Dean's sausage for my brother. Some sort of frozen coffee for my other brother. Banana pudding ice cream and cookies and cream ice cream for a mixture of us, I think. Dunno for the last brother

>>15784147
That won't stop me from trying. You'll be eight months pregnant with twins by the time I'm done with you.

>>15784434
holy FUCK who CARES

>>15784128
I don't believe you're even a woman, post pic of belly hump

Same, olives. Only the green ones with the pimento, only in brine.

I’d toss them in chili flakes and eat them with peanut butter crackers

>>15784128
You were never pregnant. Everyone knows there's no females here.

>>15784464
OP cares about what people had during pregnancy cravings so I answered

>>15784434
Nice

>>15784128
My wife craved vanilla icecream with crispy fried onions on it.

>>15784128
I have never been pregnant and i can't get pregnant (man) but now and then i want freshly caught perch in butter and yellow onions :D

My wife would always crave mangoes when she was pregnant with her boyfriend's baby, specifically the tree-ripened kind. I had to drive like 45 minutes to get them because the nearby grocery only had the crappy kind. Sometimes she'd send me out in the middle of the night too.

>>15784239
F-for you

>>15784128
YWNBAW

>>15784232
Put the banana in the microwave for 20-30 seconds. I assume you're using them for smoothies or something. It'd be kinda gross to eat them otherwise.

>>15784270
Because [REDACTED] are not real [REDACTED]

My wife craved my cock. Now show tits.

I crave your milky boobies. Post pic or gtfo

>>15784434
lol anerilard

>>15784270

Because some men have vaginas and some women have penises

>>15784740
based cuck

>>15784464
dick or gtfo

>>15784434
>>15784839
>>15785050
>>15785288
well I guess

>>15785892
that's not a tit ya dingus, that's a chickadee. you're probably looking for the tufted titmouse for your joke to work

I really cant tell if this is bait or some woman who got lost, honestly cant think straight

>>15784128
post milk-swollen tetas

>>15786205
>honestly cant think straight
This is why you're gay

>>15786221
Don't go projecting your gay on me, I've just been drinking and sobering up. As for the thread theme my sister sometimes asked me to get her pickles and crackers

>>15786260
Oh honey, I'm not projecting, you're just radiating it.

>>15786221
Ignore me >>15786260 only just got the joke after reading your post again, sorry fren

>>15785915
I was originally going to find a scientific abstract with some sort of TIT or TITS acronym. How would that suit you, sire? Here’s my birb though!

>>15786273
It's ok, little buddy.

>>15784732
Stop using emoticons

>>15786343
Stop saying birb

>>15786636
make me gayboi lol

>tfw barren
Might as well be a fucking tranny, shit- at least trannies can kick ass in women's sports and sue everybody who looks at them funny.

>>15784128
I was pregnant with a big clutch of wasp eggs. I craved holy water and melted butter. I piss on my own pillows.

>>15786629
no))

dead niggers

>>15786629

:3

>>15786629
:p

>>15786629
no >:3, also cum

>>15788192
yummy

>>15784802
You could do that, but they don't take that long to defrost at room temp. I like to wait until they get close to the consistency of ice cream and just eat them like that. No extra sugar required.

Once I froze them with the peel on but never again. They were annoying to peel and messy. Much better to peel and throw them all into a freezer bag.

>>15787587
>tfw baron
You wanna come over to my castle?

>>15787587
Also tranny's can have screaming intense prostate orgasms and feed you delicious cummies

>>15785240
based

>>15784732
you sound fuckable, post tummy

Nice bait OP, ngl. Good job

>>15784464
when i was born i was a big baby. my mom always used to call me fatso. She said i was fat just like my uncle. My sister was somewhat underweight, but now shes fat so its the opposite lol. Im also the op and my mom's side of the family is where we got our dry hair genes from that's why everyone in my family looks so bad when they comb their hair lol posite since im skinny now. I dont remember how much my other brother weighed though. I used to have almost straw I know my hair tends to straighten out quite a bit whe its wet but thats just me not mysiblings berry blonde hair when i was a little kid but noadays its just brown, but my sister always had dark brown air. We definitely both have our mom's nose though lol. Oddly enough only I have my dad's puffy cheeks. Our aunt on my dads side of the family has those too, but not my dad's brother (our uncle). weird how that works out some times. We always used to at nepolotain ice cream during the summers when walways used to be a fun time down at the creek where they lived ewould stay at meemaw's house, id usually go for the strawberry while my brother and my cousin (on my moms side of the family) fought over the chocolate and vanilla but as i got older i stopped being an ice cream kid and preferred salty snacks lol, guess it runs in the family. Always thought it might be the 1/9th cheroee from my great grandma (nanna) that caused that. Maybe that's what causedmy dad t be left handed because i know that native american genes are big on left handed plus his side of the famil is from somewhere in eastern europe which are also big on left handed and i think thats also where i got my greenish hazel eyes from. My dad always used to eat this weird thing he made with peanut butter and trailmix (but like mixed together) during the winter. My sister was always really gifted at the piano, like just playing the most amazing songs all the time, pretty sure she got it from our grandpa (pa-paw) who was a fighter pilot in WWII.

>>15788579
you're like james joyce if he was retarded

>>15784128
Bananas on the left are still safe to use in baking? Figured the mold would ruin it.

>>15784464
>>15788579
my dad would always tell us stories about him and all the adventures he had with his vision issues and everything i think thats where i inherited my nearsited genes thanks papaw LOL. but when my mom was pregnant with me she always talked about how much i used to kick, my other siblings didnt so much but me i did quite a lot i was a little rascal of a baby lol. my older brother was a real quiet baby and my mom always used to want to eat peanut m and m's when she was carrying him but when she was carrying me she didnt really want candy she said she a and my godmother always used to talk about going on some sort of legume only diet back when she was carrying phil (the little boy we went to church with) lways wanted chinese food, i wonder if all that chinese food is why im so good at music since i read a study that said the oriental diet promotes that part of the brains intelligence. my whole family has always been pretty musically gifted, everyone plays an instrument. my mom used to play her little harmonica when she was pregnant with me and while she was breastfeeding me she used to play harmonica blues music. she did similar thins with my siblings and i think thats why we are so musically gifted because my brother is in a metal band, and its full of just the most interesting people and they play music that would make your jaw drop to the floor and want to cook your brains on drugs its that good LOL, i think i got my long nosehairs from my dad's side, he always used to tell me about how when he was in the army at bootcamp his drill instructer gave him shit for not trimming them LOL.>>15788585
>>15788585
>>15788585
come find me nigger im from NASCHVILLE TENESSEE the city of SINNERS and ANGELS. i got my fightin' genes from my mom's side for sure lol! she grew up with 4 brothers so she learned all about fighting.

>>15788506
Thanks

>>15784128
Before preggo I usually ate fish and meat in absurd amounts, basically super paleo but after the 6th week I fainted and puked from smelling browned meat alone. Only now at the start of the third trimester can I pressure myself to eat some again, still without joy. No real craving tho. Mostly tatoes and noodles with creamy toppings.

>>15788593
>>15788579
please take your meds, grandpa

We are all men with big dicks here. Except for harry. He has a small pecker.

>>15784128
>>15788900
I fail to believe that women post on 4chan.

>>15788953
surely they would post blue board safe tits to announce their arrival

>>15784177
>My wife

>>15788953
It's a cooking board. What do you think SAHMs do, outside of teaching their kids to not play with minority children? Although I personally prefer /fit/lit/.

Oh wait, I nearly forgot, for the first couple weeks I ate like a whole bag of salt and vinegar chips daily. Coudn't stomach much else.

>>15788985
>What do you think SAHMs do
Firstly I had to google that acronym

Secondly I didn't think they would come to 4chan, which doesn't exactly have a great reputation. I would have thought they would go to sites like Mumsnet.

>>15784128
Not ready to settle down yet, but my sister craved banana on pizza and sweet and sour sauce. She wanted that mix of both flavors.

>>15788953
Women are 40% of all users, boards like /ck/ and /cgl/ are majority female, live with it incel.

>>15789023
Well, don't forget we're here forever. I started coming here over a decade ago not just after getting preggo. Doesn't help that I get banned from basically all normie sites when given a couple weeks despite my best efforts.

>>15785050

>>15789023
Mom communities are fucking awful. You either have the "crunchy" groups, who push shit like alternative medicine, unsafe parenting practices (with their reason being it's "biologically normal"), and fad diets on their kids, but on the opposite end you have the science based mom groups that sound promising, but unfortunately have been infiltrated by the tranny psyop and push parents to teach their 2 year olds that having a penis doesn't make them a boy because girls can have penises too.

>>15789141
>doesn't like that people raise their kids with slight dangers to make them healthier and stronger
>also doesn't like IFLS sissy parenting which promotes the exact opposite
No doubt you're a woman.

>>15789156
I see you are a product of crunchy parenting

>>15789173
Is that some new way of calling people incel, woman? It's not my fault you're retarded.

>>15788976
Anon why did you do this to him

>>15788430
Cum tastes like alkaline newspaper glue, there's nothing delicious about it.

>>15784128
You will never be a woman

>>15788900
My mom wanted to puke whenever she smelled meat with me.
If I'm any indication, it looks like your baby's gonna be a gay retard, dude.

>>15789141
>unsafe parenting practices (with their reason being it's "biologically normal")
You sound like a helicopter mom. Just so you know, most betas, incels and manchildren come from being too coddled and not being allowed to make mistakes, have accidents or having everything done and decided for them. Good job on raising a future 4chan user.

>>15789394
Not what it means at all lol

>>15789054
>Women are 40% of all users
4chan.org/advertise says it's ~30%, but even then I doubt it. I bet there's hardly any women.

>boards like /ck/ and /cgl/ are majority female
I seriously doubt that too.

>>15789435
That's literally what helicopter parent/mom means. Always hovering over them, not allowing them to do anything you deem "unsafe".

>>15789435
Not him, but he's right and women are notorious for trying to wrap their children in bubble foil, actuall harming thm more than a broken leg ever could. And if you mean the parets which rather not pump their kids with vaccines, meds and tests - it is the same female angst which leads to those children not being able to get normal childhood deseases like chickenpox. While this sounds good for pea brains, once you read into what we knw you will find out that living through it actually is beneficial, as it not only gives immunity for life, reducing risks of gettig it as an adult which can REALLY fuck you up as well as giving you the ability as a mother to give your maternal passive immunity onto your children to safeguard them in their most dangerous phase of life. Plus you don't need to uselessly accumulate adjuvants made out of aluminium salt or mercury to trigger an immun response.

Are there parents which are nuts and giving their kids bleach enemas? Sure, but the majority of those "dangerous parental behaviours" is just trusting that humans evolved to eat shit and grow stronger through it.

And you are a good example of a woman which thinks sciency=good without understanding any science at all, swimming in the mainstream like a dead fish complaining that it isn't all to her liking.

>>15789533
At least I know the difference between “that” and “which.” You write like a little bitch lol

>>15789575
Congratulations, pea brain.

>>15789613
This thread is like shooting fish in a barrel. Spare yourself.

>>15789613
>arguing with a namefag
it's a strange game, professor. the only winning move is not to play.

>>15789650
Didn't even notice this tranny was a namefag. My bad.

>>15789654
How did that google search of “that vs which” treat you?

>>15789125
>not a single coom post in this after an hour
Did I slip into another universe during my sleep
>>15789654
Is strange though because it's so obvious that it could be real, like all the shill posts over on /biz/, some are ridiculously obvious that sometimes you cant tell if it's just someone shitposting

>>15784128
Post tits or gtfo you fucking cunt fuck you

>>15789691
yeah, coomfags still trying to recover from the shock

>>15789683
Your subliminal mason numbers will not work here, now post nose shill
>>15789730
>post tits
I'm sorry anon, there be only manboobs

>>15788430
Kill yourself faggot

>>15789735
From the shock of what? It sounds like dumb question I know

>>15789125
Isn’t this a SFW board? Who moderates this place? Also, my bf told me to post this here.

>mfw I'll never be an 18yr old sorority pledge ridden with anxiety from being away from home for the first time trying to impress my sorority sisters by sexing 4-5 frat guys resulting in pregnancy, though no sexually transmitted disease thank goodness, that ends in abortion and teaches me a valuable life lesson about self-respect and responsibility.
Why even live?

>>15790392
>Also, my bf told me to post this here.
So a guy who browses 4chan just so happens to have a girlfriend who would also post on 4chan? This sounds like a code error, a paradox maybe, hmm
>>15790422
>Why even live?
Because you're a man. You do browse straight porn and not sissy hypno and tranny threads, dont you?

>>15790677
He said, and I quote, “your thread will get more than 100 replies because that board is shit now and people don’t know how to not respond to shitposting.”

>>15790754
I think this is the last nail in the coffin that shows the true fish behind the screen, maybe your real name is jack, or johnson. Are you sure you have a boyfriend? Remember tulpa imaginary friend things are dangerous for the brain, so make sure he's real.
>“your thread will get more than 100 replies because that board is shit now and people don’t know how to not respond to shitposting
Well he/you not wrong there, but you have a suspicious glow and I feel bad for your friend with additional

>>15784732
That's a lemon, retard

>>15785288
oh shit oh my oh fuck its a girl!!!
hi

>>15789493
/ck/ is definitely mostly male but /cgl/ actually might be majority female. I browsed that board once and it's all threads about wearing dresses and shit. Also they use the word "scrote"

>>15790825
And I thought Mr Five Languages was fun to bait. Jesus.

I'm pregnant with triplets and I can't stop eating deep fried oreos.

>>15790951
>deep fried oreos

>>15790970
It really brings out the crunch, It's better than eating rocks or sand desu

>>15790978
I once ate a fried snickers and I could feel my arteries clogging up. I felt sick for days. If you eat that shit while pregnant you should be beaten with a rotten fish.

>>15790951
>deep fried oreos
I can't even think who that would work. Surely they would just turn rock-hard?

>>15790946
It's fun for you? In what way? If you're expecting me to become angry and spout roastie and such, you're very much mistaken. My only goal is finding the truth about this whole thread. Are you really a woman? Maybe you're a dog, we'd never know. This is fun for me because I find it fun to pick apart your posts, determining what you might post next. Tits? Probably not, but you post your man breasts I'm sure some degenerate here will coom to it.
>>15790951
That's bad, especially with triplets

>>15791007
did not read any of that!

>>15791007
>>15790987
They're mudsharks anyway and it's too late to abort them

>>15786629
:^)

>>15791019
I was expecting tl;dr, but that's pretty much the same, I wasn't expecting a reply that fast though. I also find you have not greentexted once, which leads me to believe you don't know how to. This would make sense if your imaginary bf told you to post this here. The name also suggests this. In contrast though, these are elements for a decent bait too. I have an idea, take a picture of your oven with a piece of paper with your name and a timestamp on it, that would be definitive proof.
>>15791026
>They're mudsharks anyway
My condolences

>>15787569
based

>>15791026
Well, the niglet gangrape which will be your birth suits you well.

>>15785240
It's true you know

>>15787569
She don't miss

>>15791058
Learn how to type. Wow. Who said anything about proving anything? I got what I wanted. These are just pity replies at this point.

>>15790754
truer words have never been spoken, m'lady

>>15788953
are you saying you are a straight male on /ck/

>>15791220
>Who said anything about proving anything?
I did, not including the tits or gtfo posts that are present in every "femanon" thread. I wanted to know if you were a woman on 4chan or a shitposter, currently I'm still on the fence.
>I got what I wanted. These are just pity replies at this point.
So why do you pity reply to a bunch of anonymous strangers on a nigerian scarf making board? Why don't you leave this wretched place before mr bones takes you. I still want a picture of your oven by the way, I want to kbow what model you use. I will also accept a kettle picture

>>15791356
>I will also accept a kettle picture
At this point in history an actual country style cattle will probably be a more certain proof of the female sex than tits.

>>15784128
Do Americans really freeze bananas?

>>15791356
>I will also accept a kettle picture
At this point in history an actual country style kettle will probably be a more certain proof of the female sex than tits.

>15789533

No (You) for you

>>15791356
god why do you type like such a faggot

>>15791356
> I’m still on the fence
So why do you need to need to verify the gender of a semi-anonymous possibly woman DEFINITELY NOT MALE shitposter again?

>>15791394
ruthless

>>15791382
I've heard kettles are used less in America, is it true?
>>15791412
>So why do you need to need to verify the gender of a semi-anonymous possibly woman DEFINITELY NOT MALE shitposter again?
Because I want to, it's an amusing thing to do while I'm waiting around. Also is your boyfriend here? I want to speak to him about a shared fence issue

>>15791475
No idea, I'm from germany. But here most people have electric kettles instead of those nice on the stove ones. The only people still having those "Flötenkessel" are homely women.

>>15791475
So I and John are the ones who are gay in this situation? Really?

>>15791475
Also I love that you had to type that shit out for some reason instead of just responding. I know what I said.

>>15791494
Yeah I remember a thread with britbongs laughing over america not having kettles or something, electric kettle is standard for a kitchen in UK, most efficient way to boil water, just got to make sure you keep the kettle clean
>>15791501
>john and julianne
Why does that sound so familiar? Also I never said you were gay, remember I cant call you gay until I know you're a male. You're my schrodingers cat
>>15791553
>Also I love that you had to type that shit out for some reason instead of just responding. I know what I said.
You mean like that? You must not know how greentexting works, it doesn't involve typing, interesting

>>15791601
Buddy. This whole thing has been a bait. Start to finish. It’s a fucking bait. Sloppa. Mcchicken. Fucking beans in chili. I’ve been there for them all. I will be there for them all.
>not knowing how to greentext
I’ll see you in hell for what we’ve done here today my god THERE ARE NO WOMEN IN THIS GODFORSAKEN PLACE WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

>>15791601
>a thread
wanna know how I know?

>>15791626
I guess the baiter has become the baited then, good show, workes rather well. I'm still waiting to see your kettle or oven
>>15791688
I don't know explain please

>>15791715
You’ve only been replying to me this entire time! Go outside, if your country allows it. I’m disgusted with both of us.

>>15784131
why is pol so obsessed

>>15791819
I'm currently at work waiting for a delivery that should have arrived 2 hours ago, I have nothing else to do
>You’ve only been replying to me this entire time!
Not true, I was talking to another anon about kettles, also post kettle

>>15784156
Post cootch

>>15791833
It's a simple denial thing. Newfags came to 4chan from reddit, they get exposed to trannies, this disturbs them so they obsessively post about trannies to convince themselves they're not into trannies.
A while back they were obsessed with interracial cuck porn. A few months from now they'll be caught up in some other degenerate fetish.

It's weird. 4chan is an anonymous website, so why would you care if other anons think you're into trannies or Cuck porn?

>>15791869
I’m too busy watching Julianne fucking John up his ass, m8. I have a nice gooseneck electric kettle fyi

>>15785240
>>15788443
>>15791109
nigger

Semen, to ensure my son would develop a taste for it in the womb and turn out gay.

I'm 26 and never kissed a girl

>>15791912
>I have a nice gooseneck electric kettle fyi
Post it then fagit

>>15788611
Post pics of your feet and armpits

>>15791970
I don’t want to and also cannot. I’m busy. Doing what I told you I was doing.

>>15792043
>Doing what I told you I was doing
Watching your mum rail your dad?

>>15785892
yeah thats fuckin hilarious xD
shut the fuck up

>>15784128
>>15784156
>>15788900

What a trashfire of a thread.

>>15787588
This is the only real woman here.

>>15784139
i always keep the peel on. i didn't realize people did it any other way.

>>15786629
ლ,ᔑ•ﺪ͟͠•ᔐ.ლ

>>15788953
found this qt on /mu/

>>15795224
>qt
uh yeah sure

>>15788953
I used to chill at a friends house and one of the roommates went on 4chan, spotted it when I went to go to the fridge. Girls are on here, there just isn't alot of them. Its impossible to have no girls here

>>15795287
>tfw no autistic 4chan gf

I just wanted to sniff petrol when I was preggers, never did of course

>>15795224

>>15784128
I've heard that while pregnant with me my mom craved pepper and spice
I seem to have sucked it out of her because I love it, while she can barely handle black pepper

>>15789650
how to filter any name?

>>15784139
Who the fuck freezes bananas?

>>15786629
¯\_(ツ)_/¯