/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15510559
People in my family think that fist-sized vegetable pieces in casseroles and such are acceptable

My mother starts her spaghetti sauce with garlic and diced salt pork in the bottom of the pot. But she doesn't sweat and brown it, she cooks it until it's all burnt. Not quite black but close.

The bitter and harsh flavor permeates the sauce and to her it's "a family recipe" but to me it's "someone started doing it wrong at some point in the past and nobody ever corrected it"

Every single sunday my dad cooks salmon in foil in the oven. It's utterly overcooked and completely tasteless.

Now and then I'll panfry the same salmon for the family to demonstrate that salmon doesn't have to be awful. I can do it perfectly. Has it made a difference? Nah.

>>15510586
Check the catalogue, your family's probably in another thread bitching about your oily bitter undercooked pan-fried salmon that stinks up the house and triggers periods in your sister

>>15510559
Watching online entertainers preparing or cooking food and being awful is always fun to watch. Like, why would you subject yourself to this? Currently watching one cook right now, thanks to /jp/.

https://youtu.be/7Rd-BrDOzqQ

Her cooking videos are awful to the point of hilarity. I don’t know if people are donating to her out of pity or because they don’t know how to cook themselves.

>>15510559
basically every other person ive met cant do dishes right.

>>15510571
What’s wrong with that?

>>15510559
Adam Raguesa, the cutting board steak made me visibly upset.

But yes its very scary to watch. You're like I don't wanna be rude...but....

That being said when people fuck up cooking you know its real bad because I'm average, like I can cook enough to feed the family but my wife is a great cook and she is like MOVE half the time when I cook or gives me orders. (Trying to learn)

>>15511268
Uneven cooking and annoying as fuck to eat for starters

>>15511464
You get used to it.

>>15513296
You don’t have to “get used to it” if you do it right from the get go.

>>15511312
>Adam Raguesa
???

>>15510559
My mom makes a mushy meatloaf. It's decent flavor wise but it turns out mushy often in an awful texture. My dad complained one time and said I had to make meatloaf next time we have it (I'm married with kids but we have a family dinner at my parents house with my brother and his family once weekly - I'm usually the cook for it). I made a different recipe, shaped the loaf then dumped it out on a roasting pan, it got a nice crispy exterior and a tender but not mushy interior. Everyone was happy. Next time my mom made meatloaf did she learn? Nope. Mushy bullshit again.

>>15510559
I had to learn how to cook out of necessity because my parents didn't know how to cook. My mom would see something interesting on TV and would try to make it without any recipes or whatever, and it would end up like shit. We didn't have flour in our house until I got a job when I turned 16 because my mom thought it was "too messy."
I never visit them or have them over because every time I do my mother throws a fucking hissy fit and calls me a shit chef when I make nice food for her and my dad, an example comes to mind when I made crepes with some lemon curd, powdered sugar, and lemon juice, with lemon zest as a garnish, and my mother told me she could make better food than I ever could.
>mfw

>>15515263
Was she supposed to know how to make it better simply by eating your version?

>>15513296
you cant get used to be being sodomized too

>>15510802
qrd on how to do the dishes?

>>15515735
gently wipe the dish with the dirtiest sponge you can possibly find before quickly rinsing half of it off

youll know youre doing it right when you can eat leftovers from the dish drainer

my uncle will cook big, thick hamburgers on medium-low heat for like 15min on either side, and somehow they're always basically raw in the center and gray all over. He's an alcoholic, both his kids have left him to live with their mother, his brother is taking his business out from under him, ex wife is suing him, so i figure i'll just eat the burgers and keep my mouth shut about how much they fucking suck when he visits.

>>15515899
Say you’re getting into cooking and cook for him

>>15510802
You sure it’s not you?

My bf makes scrambled eggs by stirring them continuously and vigorously like he's stirring a soup. I've tried to correct him many times but he won't learn. Then he gloats that he made scrambled eggs and they are fucking pulverised
Also, my mom cuts peppers in an autistic vertical way that wastes a lot of the pepper and she thinks her way is better than mine that uses MORE of the pepper because hers saves 3 seconds. She's stupid and a food waster

>>15515899
Why is your family rejecting him instead of helping him?

>>15510606
She’s a terrible cook. How do people watch her? Why do they watch her?

>>15516627
>bf
>>>/lgbt/

>>15515371
sounds like a cunt. Sorry you have shitty parents bro

>>15510606
>I don’t know if people are donating to her out of pity or because they don’t know how to cook themselves
They're donating because of the tits retard

>>15515218
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02tRxM_1VsE

>>15510559
My head chef used to throw raw onions and peppers into finished chilli for the last half hour of cooking, this is when it's already been on for like 3 hours.

>bf makes taco meat and doesn't drain the grease but just adds the seasoning and water
>bf thinks food "isn't crispy enough" but 99.9% the time I go to check and it's completely done just not rock hard and charred
>bf wants to "help" dice vegetables but diced to him means giant chunks

>>15516656
But she’s such a terrible cook, her other cooking videos are terrible. It can’t just be about the tits.

https://youtu.be/6dYmaPArdOs

>>15510559
ever since I stole my brother's electric kettle, it freaks me out seeing people heat up water for tea in the microwave

>>15510802
I, too, have to clean and dry the dishes taken from the cabinet and utensils from the drawer before I can use them. It's wonderful, isn't it?

>>15516959
Why you steal his electric kettle?

>>15519043
he forgot it

>>15520082
And you haven't to you know, return it?

A few months ago, I was cooking a pulled pork out of country style ribs.

So I browned them, coated them with a good rib rub, and put them in a pressure cooker.

My cousin walked in and asked how long they would be there. I said an hour. He looked really surprised and said that he puts them in the pressure cooker for 15 minutes and then finishes them on the grill.

When they were done, I fished out the now crumbly bones and used two forks to pull the meat apart. Then we all sat down to eat. In spite of his doubts at my cooking method, he really loved them and didn't stop eating until they were all gone.

>>15520570
>My cousin walked in and asked how long they would be there. I said an hour. He looked really surprised and said that he puts them in the pressure cooker for 15 minutes and then finishes them on the grill.
I’m going to need you to explain this but a bit more in-depth.

Not cook food, but everyone I've met outside the family who handwashes their dishes always set them on the rack facing up instead of down to dry as well as for excess water to drip out

>>15521519
What’s wrong with this?

>>15510606
>>15516646
I didn't even clock play and I know it's because of her tits, are you guys retarded?

>>15516948
Japanese food is disgusting that's just how they cook and eat, it's all a meme food culture

>>15521356
His cousin walked in on him jacking it to trannies and asked how long before he would coom. He needed another hour, but his cousin says he only ever needs 15 minutes, because he puts his balls in a pressure cooker and cooms all over the grill.

>>15515263
>not talking to your mom about cooking and sharing recipes
awful son

>>15516948
>It can’t just be about the tits.
Are you female, gay or underage?

>>15510559
One time I was with my closest friends, staying over at the house of one of them. We were preparing a kind of chicken salad, and one of my friends was in charge. He was preparing the chicken to cook, and right after cutting up some big pieces of chicken breast, he just grabbed his beer with his chicken filthy fingers, and he also touched all kinds of other shit without cleaning the raw chicken off them. Basically he just infested the whole chicken with chicken. I was not very comfortable eating the food after realizing what kind of food hygiene he has. I made sure I was the one cutting up the vegetables to avoid extreme cross-contamination.

>>15522429
t. autistic germ fag
get an immune system whitey

>>15522484

>>15510559
i think it's time for a delicious potato.

>>15520550
he visited on saturday and didn't want it

>>15522336
This.

>>15522540
That’s actually a steak.

>>15515899
I Just prayed for your Uncle, Anon :,(

My boyfriend is an amazing cook, but he's not... very well endowed. I have to find my sexual fulfillment in other men..

>>15522382
if you had a mother you'd know they'd only humor you by talking about it, but then never actually change

>>15510559
My mother takes pasta, boils it and fucks off for like half an hour. She's not allowed to cook whenever I come visit, because I will disfigure her face with boiling hot water next time.

>>15525038
That doesn't sound so bad.

>>15515899
Christ, he hasn't killed himself, right?

>>15510559
My mom's attempt at sautéing mushrooms:
>take a non-stick pan
>add only a single drop of oil because it's unhealthy
>add everything at once in the cold pan
>pan completely overfilled
>mushrooms boil after 2 mins, never even once were they fried
>what, I have to season this?
It actually smells and looks revolting, really one of the best examples that even if you have nice ingredients, technique and temperatures matter

Jesus how did you guys survive.

>>15515371
I know that you want validation from her. The way she reacts is harsh. Look bro fact that u added the lemon stuff. Makes me confident your pancakes are nice. U didnt go the Nutella route. Bless your soul

>>15510559
are those fucking prawn crackers?

>>15529225
Don’t know.

>>15510574
Truth. I've seen so many "traditions" going this way.

>>15526707
I didn't even knew you could fail at sautéing mushrooms.

>>15529673
Try meeting people.

>>15510559
Am I cooking brainlet if I can follow most recipes and even adjust slightly for my taste but if you asked me to make something up on my own I'd be clueless/make something pretty plain?

>>15530584
That’s pretty normal.

>>15510606
BOOOOBA

>>15515371
Fuck your mom. You're a good chef!

>>15516627
I'm failing to understand what he's doing wrong. Aren't scrambled eggs supposed to be...scrambled?

>>15522336
I just had Japanese food tonight and it sent me to foodvana. You're a retard flyover faggot, and has never had actual Japanese food prepared by somebody from Japan.

>>15516948
It is 100% about the tits. This is why simps are subhuman and deserve to be shunned and shamed.

>>15516959
I do that all the time, it's a whole minute faster.

>>15522484
>t. has never had salmonella

>>15524971
Kys cheating scum.

>>15525038
How is there even any pasta left? Im genuinely surprised it doesnt fall apart

>>15510559
>dad wakes up Sunday morning
>drinks a whole pot of coffee and is fucking jacked up and aggravated
>makes scrambled eggs
>puts olive oil in the pan
>not butter
>cranks the heat up to high
>adds beaten eggs
>stirs constantly
>eggs are cooked and already past done
>puts a paper plate over the eggs in the pan because there is no lid for this pan
>because raw eggs make you sick, Danny
>turns away to do something else in the kitchen
>eggs burning because heat is still set on high
>"That quick! You see, it'll get away from you THAT QUICK!"

>>15531728
Did you hit your dad?

>>15516948
Went to laugh at the pathetic whore in the video only to realize my deep sadness at being alone.
Fortunately, my years of watching shonen fight anime has instilled in me a steely resolve to fight off such a thot by closing the tab.
The fight may be over, but the battle has just begun!

>>15531728
If you were a young female, then this frustration would be "cute".
Yet seeing as you are male, then you're just a bitch.

>>15531728
fuck that brings back some good memories of my retarded dad

>dad grills meat
>he never gets the heat high enough for some good char or to render the fat, just high enough to cook the meat
>stuck eating chewy, wet, rare steak with disgusting whitecap fat and connective tissue for my whole childhood
>nearly ruined steaks for me until I started making them in the pan
>good crust, medium rare, fat actually fucking renders out and provides flavor to the meat (what a concept)
why do people even grill anymore when pan frying is objectively better

>>15515735
First step is rough bits removal with your dirty and more gritty sponge. The issue is half of people stop there. The second step is fat/oil/fine bits removal with a finer sponge that is soaped. Finally, rinse and while rinsing, use your fingers to check for problems, you can usually feel them rather than see them. Some would consider drying to be important, but I drip dry on a day to day basis. If guests are coming over, I’ll generally just run everything (already clean) through the dishwasher just so nothing has any water mineral spots. Every now and again, I do that even if no guests are coming, as I live in a place with a lot of water minerals but I think full house filtration is gay. I only reverse osmosis cooking water.

>>15516033
this

>>15516669
There are chili/stew eaters that get completely assblasted if there isn’t peppers and onion with a stronger snap to them present. My wife is one of those people and I have slowly come around to her point of view, even though it will never be a dealbreaker for me like it is her.

>>15533016
What did your dad do?

>>15533766
>chewy
>rare
What bullshit meat was your dad buying?

>>15533837
>I only reverse osmosis cooking water
>not using your area's unique mineral water composition to enhance your meals
Fag

>>15533766
>pan frying is objectively better
watch out, it looks like the retarded boomer genes from your dad have passed on to you

>>15535927
No taste.

>>15535898
ribeyes and t-bones
>>15535927
>m-muh grill marks
>muh smonky flavorz
Ok, enjoy eating your damp sandal meat

>>15537104
You’re a terrible cook.

>>15537104
You may actually want to get a psych evaluation, i'm getting serious retardo vibes from your posts.

my gf cooks everything at 7-8 on the burner so that it can burn if she gets distracted for 30 seconds. she also thinks salt is unhealthy and doesn't use it.

>>15516627
he is making jean Georges eggs you fucking faggot pleb

>>15522306
the weird dish water settles into your cups?

>>15537838
Break up with her before she passes her retard genes to your children.

>>15516627
>My bf makes scrambled eggs by stirring them continuously and vigorously like he's stirring a soup.
what are Jean georges eggs. Woman moment

Had a friend that would humblebrag about her husband loving her food and enjoying being a housewife. Made me an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich and I knew she was waiting for feedback from the way she watched me take the first bite. Driest, blandest, saltless sandwich I've ever had. Somehow managed to have NO flavor in it. Took it easy on her and gave her a "mmm" because she was going through a divorce.

>>15538748
Did you fuck her?

>>15538949
no she's icky and crazy (got married to the guy after knowing him for a month and divorced 6 months later go figure)

>>15539742
Should have fucked her.

>>15510559
Mother in law can't even make cookies without burning the bottoms. she makes like a hundred cookies every year at Christmas and they're all fucked, every time. At this point, I'm just baffled.

>>15530584
You're not a brainlet, you just don't speak the language of the food.
While cooking there are smells and textures and even sounds that can guide you towards making a good meal out of even the most humble ingredients.
Here's something to get you started in the right direction: can you ever heard the difference between pouring hot water and pouring cold water?

>>15537114
>>15537748
seethe

>>15540575
At what? How stupid and childish you are? Just stop embarassing yourself lmao

>>15516638
Not him but the reality is modern day family's are just broken

chili in EVERYTING

>>15541092
but that is correct

>>15537838
>she also thinks salt is unhealthy and doesn't use it
my parents used to be like that for the longest time, I've been breaking down that mentality in them, it's seriously unbelievable how bland food tastes when they cooked without it, they're starting to trust their tastebuds again when it comes to seasoning food now, it's pretty great.

>>15541056
cope grillet

>>15510559
Nah I'm not autistic

>>15541177
Oh, you're just a sad, angry troll, got it.

>>15510559
My ex's mom asked what temp the turkey's supposed to get up to. I replied with 165, and her sister started screaming at me that it was going to be way too dry at 165. She screamed 125 a dozen times or so... so... fine, 125. Ma was over it, so she laid into the sauce. The ex's sister happily carved up and served a medium rare turkey. I was the only one who didn't get salmonellosis from it.

>>15541579
Whatever helps you sleep at night

>>15531662
>Japanese food prepared by somebody from Japan
Sounds like cope. Japanese food, even if prepared by a Japanese person is still disgusting. Just take a look at the video and image.

https://youtu.be/SD5TgfZeRts

>>15541914
>here, watch this 3 hour video of a pair of tits cooking which will prove that all Japanese food is vile
Sorry, I'm not as autistic as you. Also, i will never trust anyone who hates on gyu don.

>>15522336
>>15531662
>>15541914
>>15541947
>mfw nobody’s posted the Jap food pasta

>>15542079
Go on.

>>15541615
Did you rub it in?

My retarded friend made this. I had to just walk out, to not hurt his feelings.

>>15543934
Good lord.

>>15510574
This is how my family acquired our infamous "granmas pickled beets" recipe, which is revolting, but the cursed stuff keeps hanging around. Nastiest shit you ever want to put in your mouth, but all the females in the family keep doing it because "family tradition" malarkey.

>>15541914
I stop watching when she didn't wait to brown the cut onions before adding other things in. What's her appeal?

You guys are fucking retarded, honestly.

>>15544885
>Comes to website for special people

>Gets surprised when it's retarded

I wonder who is the real retard

>>15545193
You. The one with the reddit spacing. You are the real retard.

>he doesn't know
who could've guessed that a /ck/ resident is both a tastelet and a newfag

My mom and step dad are decent cooks and make some pretty good food, but they only ever use purple onions. It just seems wrong to me sometimes. The other day it was scalloped potatos with purple onions.

>>15531662
jap food gets gigamogged by chinese and thai

>>15544605
What's wrong with not browning the cut onions?

>>15544531
is your granma Aunt Myrna by any chance?

>>15546108
Maybe, why do you ask?

>>15546097
Anon, I.....

>>15543934

I had a good hearty laugh at your friends expense anon, thank you

>>15545530
>t. has only been to "Asian fusion" resturants

>>15510559
mom can't cook potatoes. even in a potato salad expect some pieces to be raw. i tried helping her, even gave her useful advice and showed how to properly cook potatoes (boil and roast) but refuses to listen on the base of "i have 30 years of experience"
and don't get me started on spices. she uses NONE in anything. only salt or fresh herbs.
i tried cooking at gf's house and oh boy spices changed my perception of a good family meal

>>15521519
There are literally dips in the rack to hold the dishes vertical. You need to burn their houses down.

>>15515674
not if you fart on the sodomizer until you faint

My mom tried making this salmon wrapped in pastry with some kind of rue sauce. My family tried to hid how overcooked it was but my mom bursted into tears at the dinner table. I thought it tasted fine.

>>15547176
>rue

Holding a knife like this
>Insisting that there 3 years in wendy's makes them a Chef
Being pretentious about everything they do
>Thinking that if something is expensive it's good example buying tomatoes that come in a fancy box over going to a framer's market cuz "ThE PaKeGe SAyS ThErE HeRluMe NeVer FrOzen" and then they put them in the fridge
Bartender's barista's and mixologist that get triggered when you don't call them by there preferred cooking pronouns (I don't really see it with chef's that much in my experience)
>And finally people that are "too good" to eat certain foods aka vegan's that #lovestoamanalz

>>15547180
Is there a problem?

>>15522484
apparently if you live in not america, food standards are such that salmonella isn't a risk when handing raw chicken

my roommate boils every vegtable known to man in a pot for 5 hours and mixes it with horrifically overcooked noodles. It's effectively mush as soon as you put a fork to it.

>>15545530
>>15547009
As a chink, I can testify in saying that Chinese>Jap

>>15535909
>Using your area's unique composition of fluoride, chlorine, other industrial waste poison, and pharmaceutical chemicals like birth control that your municipality does not bother filtering, along with some minerals in trace amounts, if you're lucky, to enhance your cooking.

No thank you, I will just filter my cooking and drinking water like a Neanderthal.

>>15515371
If she's triggered, that means you're a good cook
Sorry you have such shitty parents

>>15537104
The best way to cook steak is by baking it. Burning your meat for a "crust" and bathing it in charcoal smoke for "flavor" are memes. You do not need a pan. It is a myth that searing a steak "locks the juices in." The juices stay in by themselves because they are in a slab of beef.

The ONLY way to get an actual medium rare steak with perfectly marbled fat is by baking. Reverse searing is a meme. You're cooking a steak almost to perfection, then taking it out and burning the shit out of it for a minute. And, you're leaking out and incinerating all those precious juices you want to trap with the sear. Full pants on head retarded.

I know from my own life experience that the way I cook steaks is abnormal and freakish, seemingly. I am of the opinion that people have been eating steak (and meat in general) completely wrong, since always.

>>15516638
Alcoholics tend to be pretty shitty people even before they start drinking, and then it gets worse.

>>15547217
Either that's an unusually long knife or you have fucking tiny hands and a cutting board to match.
I recognize that winco beater

>>15548161
If you say otherwise, does your family get "higher education"?

>>15548616
>fluoride
>bad
Oh no it's retarded

>>15548671
Thank you for gracing us with your presence, O based one

>>15548671

One big issue for people who grill steaks over high heat is that if they ever get a good grass fed steak, they are going to cook the shit out of it and complain about how bad it is.

I cook steaks in a pan at slightly less than medium heat. I use butter to cook it in because that can give you the carmelization without having to burn the meat.

Often, I will put slices of onions in the pan to cook with the steak.

>>15516627
>My bf makes scrambled eggs by stirring them continuously and vigorously like he's stirring a soup. I've tried to correct him many times but he won't learn.

Hahahahaha. Pleb detected.

>>15516669
doing the peppers this way is fine because they can get too mushy if they're in the whole time. obviously the onions should go in at the beginning but it's not as huge a fuckup as you're making it out to be

>>15510592
xd

>>15530584

That's the first step to freestyling. How you get to the point where you can make shit up off the spot is by trying a ton of different recipes and expanding your ingredient vocabulary. This teaches you what goes well together. As you're doing this smell touch and taste every single thing you add to a dish. The smell thing is very important because if you do this you will learn how to tell when stuff is done or what ingredients you need to add just off its smell alone. Takes a year or two of just expanding your vocabulary, learning basic techniques like searing, sautéing, building sauces, and training your olfactory sense and palate.

>>15549603
Refute his claim, anon.

>>15550617
>what is burdon of proof
Dirty double nigger retard

>>15533837
How are these other people washing dishes then? Isn't the way you describe the standard?

>>15516677
That’s how Mexicans do it.

>>15510606
I feel like this is just a dude with a stuffed shirt. Always fully covered cleavage, ridiculously big. Just like the japanese guy that plays bass in skirt + stockings.

>>15552003
It’s a woman, you idiot. Haven’t you dated one before? Here’s proof of it.

https://youtu.be/bw43j42sCbo

>>15544605
It's an ASMR channel, not a cooking channel.

>>15552003
the japanese bass player isn't pretending to be a woman, he is obviously and cartoonishly a man in a dress. that's his whole thing

>>15510559
My father makes the blandest and most boring quiche lorraine known to man.
No seasoning, only a pinch of bacon. It's pretty bad.

>>15546511
because her recipes are trash

>>15510606
>I don’t know if people are donating to her out of pity or because they don’t know how to cook themselves.
Tits, and cute japanese voice.
It doesn't require much else to find success on YouTube.

>>15510559
My friend cooks pretty well, but he can't use a sharpening steel at all. He buys shitty expensive new knifes every year..

>>15552580
>My friend

>>15552575
It appears so, because the only thing she’s good at cooking is making insta-food.

https://youtu.be/VgJlpLYYeXE

>>15552592
What’s sad about that?

>>15521356
you can pressure cook things for a very short time and still have them falling off the bone, he goes with a longer time so they are more tender but his cousin does a shorter time so they don't fall apart when he grills them, if you did ribs in the pressure cooker for a full hour and tried to lift them to put them on a grill they would just crumble in your hands or the on the spoon or fork etc.

>>15554089
Everything.

>>15516677
You're not supposed to drain the grease. You should keep the heat on until it soaks it back up

>>15510559
Watching people mishandle/improperly store meat especially chicken is the fucking worst

>>15515371
Wow I thought my parents were retarded abusive npcs. Keep on trucking anon I am certain your lemon crepes are wonderbar compared to a bitch who bakes without flour

>>15510559
sometimes i get nervous and do stupid things cooking for 5 people because i'm a bachelor and people can be notoriously picky about cooking or food

>>15516959
Thats abhorrent. My uncle does this with Dunkin coffee. He will buy like 6 coffees and just microwave them.

>>15555450
i work at a nursing home. guys like their coffee here because other guys like coffee too. they have this group mentality that is a cancer. 2 of them will fill up a cup of coffee, leave it sit for an hour, and then throw it in the microwave. it makes me so mad. why the fuck would you pour coffee if you're not going to drink it for over a half hour. i guess that's why they're in a home

>>15533766
>pan fried is better than grilled steak

Yeah nah

>>15540210

Kek my grandmother is an excellent baker but last christmsd my sister insisted on doing the baking. The sugar cookies were doughy and shit, the ginger cookies had way too fucking much ginger in them and she burnt the shit out of the poundcake. My grandmother roasted her and called her retarded at any appropriate instance (people wincing trying to politely palate the horrible baking)

>>15543934
Haha holy fuck there is nothing funnier than a novice cook trying to be gourmet

>>15510592
>triggers periods in your sister
god i wish

>>15548671
Usually the best chefs/chemists/philosophers are considered whackjobs by the rest of the herd until their methods become the norm. I'm pretty open minded so I am going to try and bake a med rare steak this time. Which cut do you recommend?

>>15510559
How to make puchero
Step one boil water in a big pot
Step two cut vegetables and beef in large chuncks
Step three boil them together
To my knowledge I have never actually eaten it but I remember getting hit a lot for refusing to do so
Also it smells like farts

>>15555464
Its even worse when its not shitty bland coffee. Fresh is best. That Kirkland blended coffee you can brew in-store is quite nice.

That sounds fucking ridiculous. I am cringing for you. Lazy prep and cooking is so unnecessary and mega gay but I guess convenience appeals to most

>>15515371
>We didn't have flour in our house until I got a job when I turned 16 because my mom thought it was "too messy."
this is too fucked to be made up
im sorry bro

>>15516627
>My bf makes scrambled eggs by stirring them continuously and vigorously
this is unironically normal

>>15537838
High quantities of salt areally unhealthy though?
Also what's wrong with using high heat? If she's easily distracted maybe stop bitching to her about salt and let her concentrate on the cooking.

>>15545450
Here that's not the worst offence tbf.

>>15553200
Where's the broth?

>>15538360
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=k4rGq39suKU&ab_channel=TrumpHotels

>>15524971
Hi Beth

>>15516627
Neck yourself retarded faggot

>>15516677
>Drain grease
I don't think you have ever eaten mexican food cunt

I used to brown beef and extract the grease with a turkey baster so as not to lose any seasoning. It was stupid, but it worked

>mfw my housemate does shit like chop all of her ingredients on a plate because she doesn't like cleaning the cutting board
>knives are dull as shit and won't let me sharpen them because she's scared of using sharp knives
>I have one chef's knife I keep razor sharp and she refuses to touch it
>regularly puts water on to boil and walks away until the water is all boiled off and has to try again
>every nonstick pan in the house is ruined by metal implements
>leaves meat out for 24+h sometimes to thaw, just lets it sit around at room temp for hours
>got mad at me for having "too many blenders"
>she was including my food processor and stand mixer in the list of "blenders"
>one of her favorite dishes is potato "soup" which is just potato pieces boiled in milk

I wish I was fucking kidding.

>>15552525
Maybe it’s for the best, she can’t even crack eggs right.

https://youtu.be/bVijyIPySAk

>>15558033
>>one of her favorite dishes is potato "soup" which is just potato pieces boiled in milk
What does she do for a living, and can you fuck her?

>>15515263
go to hell and die faggot

>>15544531
>malarkey
Kill yourself

>>15555582
At least he tries.

>>15559371
What’s wrong with the word malarkey.

>>15559329
She used to be a nurse but none of us wanted her working in a hospital during the pandemic so she just cleans house and cooks meals now. She's one half of a married couple that I live with so no, unfortunately I can't.

>>15543934
I need a quick rundown on what this is supposed to be?

My mom never adds enough salt. She also buys low fat shit like sour cream. Yuck. I rarely make dinner for my family and they all go "oooh his is homemade". They say it like I'm a try hard. My dad is simply rude when he eats others food. I like meat on the low end on doneness and I refuse make meat we all share over done for his baby palate. He seems genuinely upset when he has to eat at home but was excited about getting shitty spaghetti at the mediocre pizza place that has cheap beer and Ohio State memorabilia in it like the rest of this state.

>>15515263
I would eat your moms mushy meatloaf
If you know what I mean

>>15516627
>My bf makes scrambled eggs by stirring them continuously and vigorously like he's stirring a soup
and this is why women suck at cooking

>>15524971
mom?

>>15525038
>I will disfigure her face with boiling hot water next time.
I didnt know they eat pasta in pakistan

>>15560572
No

I watched my friend unironically cut spaghetti into 1/3rds while making bolo and I actually literally had a fucking sperg attack.

>>15560535
mmm mush pussy hole meat, sounds delicious, hopefully her labia are nice and long and I can wrap them around a pencil

>>15562344
Why?

>>15524971
stfu faggot

>>15520570
Your cousins way is better. I've done both. Your way is just easier. Not that one is superior. I don't even think this belongs in this topic

>>15560333
What's her husband like?

>>15564403
he's not very well endowed if her flirtations are anything to go by.

>>15564783
Oh no

>>15560108
>What’s wrong with the word malarkey.
It's malarkey

>>15550617
I drink well water from an aquifer?

>>15563302
Grilled food is for savages

>>15565919
Wrong.

my mom takes frozen chicken breasts as throws them in a pan and dumps half a bottle of soybean oil in qnd cooks them to fuck. later when you open the container they were stored in it smells like some one ripped ass.
>mfw

>>15516677
>adding water to ground meat
This is more disgusting than the meat part. Maybe some lemon juice. Just plain water? Vile.

>>15564857
Honestly, having to watch what words you use all the time is such a palaver.

>>15566808
Teach her to cook.

>>15510559
yeah, I’m beginning to realize my dad doesn’t know how to sear a steak. He doesn’t salt the meat hours in advance, or let it really get to room temperature so when he goes to sear the meat turns a sickly grey instead of a nice brown crust color. I try to tell him but he thinks he’s “sealing in the juices”

>>15568258
she's a boomer so she's set in her ways and i've fed myelf since i was like 9

>>15568304
Sounds like you're the one falling for memes anon, all you need for a good sear is a dry surface and a hot enough pan. Salting beforehand can actually pull water out and make the first part harder. If it's grey either it's too wet or his pan is too cold, all your other shit is mostly pointless.

>>15569580
dad plz leave

>>15570278
no

>>15569394
Maybe her ways are right?

>>15560475
I think its sautee of diarrhea with diarrhea sauce

>>15545450
It's weird presentation wise but it really doesn't taste that much different from a run of the mill sweet onion.

>>15533766
when my dad barbecues he just puts pork chops on a grill and hangs around drinking beers. guess this is just an eastern european thing. sometimes he adds herbs but never salts meat before cooking because it "dries it out". he doesn't salt it afterwards either, he pours a pile of salt in the corner of his plate and dips the meat in. I thought this was normal for the longest time.
he also drenches anything he's cooking in oil. i guess in the commie days it's just how people did it

>>15516659
>I don't season my steak I season, my cutting board
>I don't season my cutting board, I season my utensils
>I don't season my utensils, I season the air I breathe
>I don't season the air I breathe, I am the seasoning

>>15558033
>regularly puts water on to boil and walks away until the water is all boiled off and has to try again

>>15572326
What seems to be the problem.

>>15555555

>>15510559
We eat salmon for health reasons at home and my mom, who is a fucking 5-star kitchen witch, uses some alchemical process to turn the "gross" salmon into fried chicken. It tastes great but what she is doing is definitely unholy.

>>15572326
She did it again yesterday. I should note she always boils water on an obscenely hot burner, she cranks it up till it's literally red hot and then walks away from it. Pic related is the bottom of her favorite little saucepan

>>15573585
Holy shit.

>>15573585
some women just need the stupid smacked out of them

>>15573585
you should beat her up

grandma “taught me how to make lasagna” recently

>doesn’t season the ground beef until after cooking it because “when you drain it the seasonings would come out”
>after it’s been drained dump in salt, pepper, minced garlic from a jar, and italian seasoning mix
>dump in a can of tomato puree (because it’s thicker than tomato sauce)
>pour some water in
>throw a uncooked diced onion into the pot of sauce and let it simmer for a little bit
>doesn’t use any ricotta, only mozzarella

>>15515371
bro, you could've gone the easy route and made crepes with Nutella or Jam. you made LEMON CURD. A lot of parents resent their children for being better than them, but I don't have kids and even I know my kids should be better than me. You don't need their validation. You can cook way better than she ever could.

>>15573585

>>15552575
>cute Japanese voice
She sounds fucking terrible. Like a screaming child.

>>15566988
its how you add taco seasoning to ground beef sperg

>>15555558
Based grandma is based

>>15573585
Is her husband black? Beat the shit out of the both of them anyway. Not trusting herself with sharp knives is actually pretty smart considering how much of a fucking retard she is

>>15572166
>red onions taste like sweet onions
How far up were you when you fell headfirst down the staircase as a child?

>>15572279
>he pours a pile of salt in the corner of his plate and dips the meat in
Kek

>>15538748
>because she was going through a divorce.
Heh

>>15548616
Imagine not having your own well, Christ I lucked out

>>15576079
Red onions have a similar flavor to what are marketed as "sweet" onions like yellow/vidalia onions, why are you sperging out over this common knowledge?

>>15576280
Red onions taste more like white onions than anything else. How many packs a day do you smoke?

>>15576280
They taste sweeter after sauteing, but raw red onions are pungent, spicy and intense.

>>15531653
I'll tell you, since it seems my post confused a lot of people
He pulverizes them into a bunch of little egg curds instead of fork-sized egg pieces, over scrambled

>>15576717
It's too late. Just move on to a different thread.

>>15576717
I mean if that's not your preference for scrambled eggs then ok your bf is a selfish dick for utterly ignoring your wants, but his way of scrambling is perfectly valid

>>15522484
Best answer. Germaphobes btfo.

>>15510559
My mother is a good cook until a grill is involved. I think the issue is that she never checks the meat and has no good mental gauge. Every time she cooks grilled chicken it is horribly over cooked.

>>15518283
I know three people who do not rinse their dishes when they handwash them. Like they just scrub it with a sponge, give it a quick wipe with the dish water with the washcloth and then put the dish on the rack to dry. I almost threw up when I realized, after living with them for several months and eating off those dishes, how they washed dishes. Fucking disgusting. And the crazy part is they think I'm wrong and refuse to rinse them. If I don't wash the dishes I pretty much rewash anything I'm eating off of.

>>15515371
>>15548655
This. A small person lashes out when confronted with someone superior becaise (s)he feels lesser. That means that 1. your mother is a small person and 2. you're a better cook than her. But you probably already knew both. I'm sorry fot you anon

>>15577171
You are incorrect. If I can't pick up the piece of egg with my fork you fucked up the eggs

>>15552162
>haven't you dated one before?
Of course not, I'm on 4chan

>>15532979
CRIMINALLY underrated post

>>15522387
Trans.

>>15573585
*/ck/ wife beating copypasta intensifies*

>>15533837
>>15515735
My way is:
>Shove leftovers in trash
>Rinse off food with hot water and a brush, put everything which is rinsed (and basically already 'clean' to the eye to the left of sink
>fill sink with hot water + dishwashing soap
>Wash all dishes, first glasses then plates then pans
>Dry with cloth in same order

>>15543934
This is a joke, right? Like putting a little piece of parsley and a lemon wedge on a stack of fried spam to make it 'look gourmet'?

>>15516627
>My bf makes scrambled eggs by stirring them continuously and vigorously like he's stirring a soup. I've tried to correct him many times but he won't learn.
based fucking bf
i bet your scrambled eggs are like rubber

>would come into these threads when younger ready to talk shit about my parents' awful cooking over the years
>realise now that they were exhausted from working all the time and were doing their best to come up with new meals every day

>>15510592
>triggers periods in your sister
kek how the fuck do you come up with that

>>15516627
lol this retard doesnt know how properly cooked scrambled eggs look, you probably leave half of them stuck to the pan and theyre a fucking brown fried dry fuck mess of shitty ruined proteins

>>15555464
>>15555659
kek I used to work in an old folks home. some funny ass shit I've seen there boy lemme tell ya. One dude was severely demented and they'd just constantly find him in peoples closets. Not like the nurses, the other demented old ladies would shamble out (takes about 15 minutes for them to shamble from their room to the lobby where the nurses are) and then like 5 minutes to explain some dude they dont recognize is standing in their closet. Sometimes he gets war flashbacks and starts fighting a really slow war in the middle of the home. "running" from nurses thinking theyre japs or some shit. youll definitely go crazy if you work in those places too long

>>15578161
I was the cook there and one day I called in sick and this is what the nurses cooked for the patients. Was supposed to be roasted turkey, a roll and roasted vegetables with mash. Basically came out as lunch meat on cold bread

>>15578165
vs what I cook for them. Was supposed to just be chicken and rice, but we had some leftover onions and mushrooms so I made a pilaf, and made honey glazed, curry spiced chicken. really good actually honey and shitty ol "curry powder" make a pretty good chicken glaze.

>>15578165
btw thats not even gravy on that bread. They did manage to make a roux, but just kept adding butter until it thinned out rather than milk or cream. Also clearly unseasoned. Peak cooking autism right there

>>15555618
>boiled cabbage
>smells like farts
naw, farts smell like boiled cabbage. fuck man cultures that just boil shit in a pot without pretty much anything else going on are the worst. Let me guess thats some northern european shit in pic rel

>>15578165
>>15578173
leave the nurses alone anon, they have enough shit to manage without the wagie cook chucking a sickie and making them run the kitchen too. yes their food is shit but they're doing their job plus yours, while you were home whacking off to chicks with dicks on xhamster

>>15578255
kek see normally I would agree but you don't understand. This is not a big ass normal nursing home, it was boujee as fuck. The millionaires in my state put there parents there, theres only like a dozen rooms in total. The nurses spent 95% of the day sitting around, 3% attending to the guests and the last 2% doing busy work. Also you cannot work in an old folks home if youre sick, its illegal as all fuck and if you get someone sick you and the company you work for are in deeeep shit especially during this corona shit. You're a good guy with a good heart though so cheers mate

>>15578262
oh anon whacking off to trannies ≠ sick

>>15578267
sounds pretty fuckin sick if you ask me lel

>>15578267
>>15578262
...or maybe it is

>>15578269

>>15578099
I bet your scrambled eggs are undercooked soupy Gordon Ramsey snot

>>15548671

You're not alone. My parents have cooked steaks in the oven for decades, and they always come out great. Although I think they came up with the method because they are pretty lazy cooks and generally take the easiest method of cooking foods they know regardless of flavor.

>>15555886

>High quantities of salt areally unhealthy though?

What the fuck is going on with all of these 14 year old Reddit transplants ending a sentence with a question mark when it’s not even a question, it’s a fucking statement?

lessons from roommate

>the stove has two settings: on and off
>use metal spoon to stir

>>15540278
>you just don't speak the language of the food

the food whisperer

>>15578913
I lived with a guy who ate nothing but frozen pizza and pb&j for an entire year. Never saw him drink water, just beer. You're a fat fuck Mike, I want my crock pot back.

we trigger each other

>>15510592
Kek

>>15578950
>Never saw him drink water, just beer
based and medieval/rennasiance peasant-pilled

>>15555401
i once saw haitians defrosting chicken in a pot of hot water

>>15559169
She can't even stir eggs, how does she function?

>>15581551
She doesn't.

>>15578950
eh let him have the crock pot, theyre cheap and it sounds like he needs to expand his culinary horizon. May have just been the thing that set him down a healthier path

>>15510606
Cause she's also a vtuber.