/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I made seafood chowder two days ago for my girlfriend and I. Salmon and canned clams with mirepoix, mushrooms, corn, and potatoes. Was incredibly easy, got me a bj

>>15537826
Irish stew using Guinness instead of beef stock.

>>15537826
Ideally you’ll impress other people when she’s around. Social proof is strong in sluts.

>>15537835
>Salmon and canned clams with mirepoix, mushrooms, corn, and potatoes.
Fuck that sounds good
>got me a bj
Fuck that sounds good

>>15537826
just order very expensive take away from a really good place
financial security is the biggest turn on

>>15537826
I guess the last feminine acting chubby slut dude I banged could be considered a woman, lol, what with his YASS queen bullshit (great ass tho ngl)

Anyway I made him a spicy venison stroganoff and he loved it. Got to tap that ass shortly after that. The last dude I made game meat for told me it tasted like shit, so I got mad, called him a degenerate fairy SJW and told him to get out. Felt based lol, but I'm not about to have my cooking insulted, especially when I shot, dressed, and hunted that venison myself.

Based Haimchad

>>15537911
faggot

>>15537826
Why are women so shit at eating? New a bitch who ate a steak with her hands like a fucking ape

>>15537915
Disgusting.

>>15537835

>>15537826
She is almost the booba excaped

>>15537919
yeah it's revolting

Cooked for wife and kids tonight

-Bratwurst cooked in onions and peppers
>Cheddar and Swiss pierogis (homemade but frozen batch)
>Sauerkraut
>Garlic sautéed spinach
>Croissants

>Coconut rum and pineapple juice for her
>Iced tea and Old Granddad 114 for me
>Milk for children

>>15537915
which one is the good looking one?

>>15537826
I’d rather see you when you’re smiling.
It really gets under my skin.

last 3 meals for my GF were:

Chicken and Sausage Gumbo w/ Cilantro Lime Rice.

Crab Rangoon Lasagna. Yes, it is as Midwestern as it sounds, but it is good.

Ribeye Steaks medium rare, Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes, Roasted Broccoli and a Blue Moon Sour Orange Pan Sauce.

No sexies. Lol.

>>15538370
the photographer

to impress the sluts would always be fettecine Alfredo. marinated / breaded flattened chicken breast. side veggie. high quality matching bottle of wine. and my pretty well regarded cheesecakes.

>>15538432
>crab rangoon lasagna
i am intrigued. tell me more

>>15537826
>What's your go-to dish you make to impress sluts?

Now that I'm a bit older, I no longer feel the need to impress anyone, and not sluts in particular. However, back in the day, Steak and Lobster at a decent restaurant followed by a few drinks at a nearby bar was a pretty safe and sure panty remover.

>>15537826
chicken statutory

I cooked dinner for my mom and sisters last night
Idk what you mean by ‘impress sluts’ though, kind of gross desu

Could OP have found an even less appealing picture to accompany his post? I think not.

>cooking FOR a woman
>not cooking WITH a woman

>>15538432
>No sexies
Bruh wtf, the laziest cooking and minor charisma combined has granted me pussy almost every time. Broads love getting cooked for.

Pumpkin gnocchi and sautéed asparagus with a brie sauce .

Georgian (Republic of) food. Khachapuri, sour cream sauce chicken, herbed walnut paste, good wine.

>>15537915
eww jews

>>15537911
>especially when I shot, dressed, and hunted that venison myself.
Based faggot. Moar manly than me kek

>>15537835
nice

>>15537826
Sauce on this asymmetric cunt?

>What was the last thing you cooked for a woman?
Probably this soup shortly before she broke up with me and then the pandemic hit.
>What's your go-to dish you make to impress sluts?
Carnitas are more impressive than the amount of work they take

>>15537826
>cooking for a woman
ngmi

>>15539557
I would break up with you, too, if you served me that

>>15537826
Spagetti Carbonara
got pussy too

>>15539643
>Spagetti Carbonara
>pussy
Which one was creamier, anon?

>>15537826
would love to sniff her pits and eat spaghetti out of her asshole

>>15539691
Before or after digestion takes place?

>>15539691
Based, keyed, sneed, cute, valid, and upvoted

>>15539691
me too anon, end it with a really long and sloppy french kiss too.

I only see her two or three times a month because of covid but I made her French toast eggs and bacon back when it was warm

>>15537911
damnit i hate when faggots are more manly than me

>>15538432
The Italian in me wants to be mad about crab Rangoon lasagna
the stoner in me wants to try it

>>15538432
>no sex
>from gf
yeah well she's having sex, just not with you

>>15539820
Is your ldgf a black tranny for real?
Damn man, damn. French toast looks well made tho props.

>>15539843
>cooking
>more masculine
how low is the bar?

>>15539820
Jesus christ that's sad. You've even got the knockoff Aunt Jemima syrup on the table.

>>15539861
what? no its that he hunted cleaned and dressed his own game meat. I've never been hunting

>>15538432
>No sexies. Lol.

>>15539862
and aunt Jemima's great granddaughter next to the table

>>15539820
>>15539853
>>15539871

>>15539863
Oh maybe if you let him bareback you he'll show you the ropes, lmao

>>15538323
>She is almost the booba excaped
>that slightest hint of nipple
MMMMMLEMLEMLEMLEM

>>15537915

Just some 'murican goulash for my sister this evening since she really likes the stuff when I make it.

>>15539640
Fair

Made my gf penne alla vodka.

>>15537826
lobster for me and my mom
no mommy tier? a family friend, made her some vegan breakfast wontons for her and her family but she didn't even try any.
before that it was ratatouille a year before the wontons

>>15538609
... like a sous chef?

>>15538609
>not cooking a woman

>>15539523
It's Danielle Haim from the band Haim

>>15537826
>What's your go-to dish you make to impress sluts?
brap 'n' cheese

>>15540719

>>15537835
>for my girlfriend and I
For my girlfriend and myself

>>15540738
It's better than "me and my girlfriend" you must agree

cioppino on new years with my ex. i'd been fucking her on and off but she was being a real cunt that time so that's the end of that. didn't fuck her, but the cioppino was great.

i do mean eggs, chicks love eggs if you do em well

>>15539688
Fuck you I am eating!

>>15540766
"for me" is better than "for I", don't be illiterate

>>15540766
No, it's not.

>>15537826
Pear stuffed quails with fondant potatoes

>>15538553
make a bechamel. set it aside.

make the "crab Rangoon" filling, about the consistency a little thicker of what you expect a typical "lasagna" cheese filling would be. I use lump crab, cream cheese/Mayo/sour cream, a little bit of soy and Worcestershire, garlic, old bay, salt/pepper/sugar, and green onions.

use store-bought wonton wrappers as the noodles.

assemble like a lasagna, using the bechamel as the base with the "noodles". the last layer I usually mix 50/50 the crab mixture and the bechamel and spread evenly on top. take the remaining wonton wrappers and cut them up into diced pieces to sprinkle on top. bake in the over at 400 for 35 minutes then broil the top until brown.

make a sweet/sour sauce to drizzle over the cut slices, if desired.

haven't tried adding anything to it like mozz cheese but it is stupid Midwest Retard good on its own. the wonton noodles get soft but hold its structure.

>>15538900
in my heyday, yes, 100% of the time, correct. we've been together 8 years so she may be a tad bit spoiled lol.

>>15539096
That looks good anon

I bring bitches over to make gyoza together. I don't do it on the first date or the second but once we're familiar enough with each other it makes for a great activity. Also, it helps filter the bad ones, if she's not willing to get her hands dirty or learn a cool new skill I don't want her.

>>15537826
>>15537915
Hideous.

last two things i made were mushroom risotto with roasted brussel sprouts and french onion soup. partner is vegetarian and it's helped a lot to push me out of my comfort zone of cooking meat every night

>>15537826
Stop posting this ugly hag, i almost gagged.

>>15540899
>partner
Does this partner push you out of your comfort zone in sexual ways too?

>>15537835
she eat you cum too?

>>15537826
I’m married and there’s some variety of sexual intercourse every day, so I dunno about impressing her, but the last thing I made was two loaves of bread, same as every weekend. This time it was a ciabatta with dried tomatoes and olives.

i fucking hate my fat gross sjw roommate

everytime i know shes on her period i hide pickled sausages and slim jims around our apartment and loudly say

it fuckin stinks like slim jims in here

>>15537826
Made a cake for my waifu's birthday

>>15537826
The last thing I made was cinnamon milk (so the kids would go the fuck to sleep) My "wanna get laid" dish is chicken alfredo w/parmesan angel hair pasta and bruschetta. Then some variety of chocolate dish/cake for dessert.

>>15539908
sounds like a fair transaction to me

My gf was working evenings this week so I didn't have to cook for her but I left 1/3 of pizza I made one night vegetarian so she could eat next day.

>>15541025
very based behaviour

>>15537911
>feminine acting chubby slut dude
based

I made my wife and her boyfriend mr noodle and added a cheese slice. They said I did good.

>>15540888
nice

>>15537826
All the eggs

>>15540879
this is horrific. i have to make it. thank you anon

>>15540766
for my girlfriend and me is grammatically correct as it is an object of the preposition "for".
"I" is subjective, "me" is objective. thus me is the correct pronoun

>>15537911
faggot

>>15540888
Based and checked

>>15537928
Food tastes better when you eat it with your hands.

>>15540780
>"for me" is better than "for I", don't be illiterate
>I made seafood chowder two days ago for... I
>I made seafood chowder two days ago for... me
They're both wrong. Only "myself" is grammatically correct.

>>15540888
you want to teach me, just like as a bro? no sex stuff just learning between a big white guy and a smaller asian dude with some good culinary skills?

>>15540738
He's right, you know

dude that girl is nasty as fuck

>>15537930
>>15538370
>>15539142
>>15540092
>>15540898
Ok Incels

>>15540708

>>15541685
you are absolutely wrong and you know nothing

>>15540879
Thanks ja/ck/!

>>15537826
Have we ever gotten sauce on this chick?
>>15537836
Traditional Irish stew should be made with lamb, friendo. Ideally with some soda bread.

>>15541714
Is the left one missing an arm?

>>15537826
Fuckin 'ell lads.. Women are revolting yeah?
Simple as. Last time a real slag and I made the old anal/fisting, I was a bit sentamental, got her some Greggs. That was last food I game to a slad
Simple as

>>15538432
>Chicken and Sausage Gumbo
Nice
>w/ Cilantro Lime Rice
Remove yourself from this earth. I bet you put tomatoes in your gumbo too

>>15537835
>pre marital coitus
ishygddt..

>>15541851
You must be cool at parties

>>15541851
>Have we ever gotten sauce on this chick?
Read the fucking thread you illiterate retard

>>15542014
You know it. Especially when I bake my soda bread fresh. :o)

How can normies do this. Any time I see a wo*an eat I can only think about it being in their teeth, and them shiting it out, and then I realize most of this country barely wipes, and it spirals worse and worse..

>>15542054
Lol, baste host dabber.

>>15539096
Can you post your khachapuri and herbed walnut paste recipe? I went to school with a bunch of Georgians and they had me over for dinner a lot.

>>15540888
based and checkd

>>15542068
What fucking country do you live in

>>15537826
I made coleslaw for my mom last night, I hope she likes it

>>15542647
US

>>15537826
>hoisin chicken quarters with sesame-roasted broccoli and cilantro lime rice
>lamp chops with brussels sprouts and yorkshire pudding
>shrimp scampi linguine with bruschetta
>clam chowder if they're into that

>>15540888
i should try this sometime

>>15540888
That's not a cool new skill, it's fucking lame. You're not dropping them, they're dropping you.

>>15537826
Chicken alfredo pasta, but it was for my friend and it was her birthday.
The last meal I cook for a girl I was dating was a pan sear salmon with lemon juice and lemon pepper. Made some rice as a side.

Simmered Veal Roast, with pulled chicken in Veal gravy, with homemade raspberry jam, and pickled herring.

>>15537826
I made her burgers one night, steak another. I usually cook us the more unhealthy shit, she made cauliflower ceviche one day too. other than that we usually just make basic stuff.

>>15542068
>Any time I see a wo*an eat I can only think about it being in their teeth, and them shiting it out
You need therapy

>>15542712
>>lamp chops with brussels sprouts and yorkshire pudding
>>shrimp scampi linguine with bruschetta
Is that... an Englishman who knows how to cook?

>>15542767
That looks terrible and you're trying way too hard with the plating.

>>15537826
This morning
>inb4 cherry mimosa in a wine glass
Don’t fucking judge me
>egg white omelette with cream cheese whisked in
>topped with Brie, crumbled goat cheese, charred tomatoes, arugula & mushrooms
>served with English muffin and mixed berries with pineapple.
Got the idea from a local restaurant. I’m a complete amateur at cooking so don’t judge harshly

>>15543151
Ok nerd
>>15543190
Huh?

>>15543249
Looks like someone shidded and farded on the plade

>>15543249
You from India?

>>15543256

>>15543261
No.. Midwest USA.

>>15542767
>tryhard sauce plating on his pleb seasoned sloppa
You need to focus your effort into the food.

>>15543271
Your presentation looks like designated shit street

>>15537826
I made castella for my mom :)

>>15543275
No

Well I made some milk tea for my mother lately. Considering sexual relationships my only culinary exploit has been pouring choclate syrup on a girl's boobs and licking it off or dipping a strawberry in the sauce and feeding it to the naked girl

>>15543271
get gud. jk i just made a steak and it came out terrible lol

>>15537826
faine with caramalized onion

>>15543289
Lol, that doesn'tlook bad. It's actually veal chuck roast.

>>15543285
>unseasoned

>>15540766
the worst part is your not ESL just stupidly gay

>>15543307
>unseasoned
Thyme, basil, terragon, oregano, s o y ssauce, Worcester, siracha...

>>15543302
i'm an idiot and used a good example that i made a bit ago, actually this one was perfect because i went high class and used duck fat and truffle salt lol. I haven't actually had veal yet shockingly, is it supposed to look more "well done" since it's a roast?
pic related is what I just made, looks better than it tasted. Not sure what happened but it was a perfect rare/medium rare but the fat just wouldn't render and it was still tough as hell.

>>15543326
Looks good. Yeah, I did it in a slow cooker.

>>15543324
You can say soy on here, newfaggot.

>>15543344
It's a cultural ethos thing, sweet peaa ;^]

>>15543344
t. Basedboy

>It's a cultural ethos thing, sweet peaa ;^]

>>15543374
Lol you got me there desu

>>15543249
>>15543271
>>15543285
God damn you fucking suck at taking pictures.
And cooking.
And plating.

>>15543399
I strongly disagree.

>>15543249
Lol no wonder all you can think of is the women shitting when your food looks like that

>>15543423
I hope that's actually blood from your jugular and you'll bleed out before I'm even done typing this.

>>15543423
>when the back burner is only thing in focus
Bravo, bravo!

I'm crying bros lol

>>15543423
>paper plate
>ketchup smeared around like a fucking toddler
This is either really bad plating or really good baiting

>>15543423
I get that you're trying to be funny but stop overcooking your steak.

>>15543441
It's not even good baiting.

>>15543443
Its veal roast,, pleb..

>>15543450
>4 replies in 6 minutes on a dead board
No the bait is good.

>>15543441
Its actually organic siracha
>>15543450
Oh sweetpeaa ;^]

>>15543456
I was referring to >>15543271 but the veal looks overcooked and dry as fuck as well.
Good work.
>>15543457
I forgot that you get points when people respond to you.

>>15543467
It's all from the same roast...

>almost 30 years old
>never cooked a meal for anyone besides myself
haha yeah

>>15543467
>bait isn’t there for the sole purpose of the dopamine rush at seeing (You)s
You have to go back

>>15543423
>$20/lb

>>15543490
http://www.listsofnote.com/2012/04/f-scott-fitzgeralds-turkey-recipes.html?m=1

>>15541264
You're very much welcome. I usually make it for Thanksgiving potlucks if I'm not in charge of any other particular thing. always goes over well.

trick is to get the consistency of the filling and the bechamel right so it's not cakelike or too soupy. I haven't tried adding eggs or anything like that for body but I assume that would help.

>>15543500
>20$/lbs
>veal
fucking where, what?
>>15543482
I don't care what some idiot feels.

>>15543508
Actually it's duck. I will still look at the link, though.

>>15543517
Implying too good of a deal fren?

>>15543517
Fuckin spaghetti monster raping me in my sleep again

>>15537826
met up with my 4 best friends who are all women

I baked an olive and sundried tomatoes bread, served with fresh mozzarella, slices tomatoes and basil
with paprika seasoned oven bajed chicken breasts

and then loads and loads of alcohol
great night

>>15543536
Look again. That is puss from zits.
>>15543535
No.

>>15543540
I know that you fucking tard

>>15543545
Obviously not.

>>15543517
>top left panel
DONT FUCKING OPEN YOUR MOUTH RETARD

Heh, breddy goood bredddy good.

>>15543556
What does this have to do with the thread, exactly?

>>15543540
Baste
>>15543545
Based
>>15543547
Baised
>>15543549
Braised

>>15543561
It's more of a cultural ethos thing ;^]

>>15537826
chicken alfredo

>>15537826
who is girl?

>>15543635
Some gros slag

>>15543635
OP here. Stop asking for sauce, it's just some dumb bitch eating pasta.

>>15543684
You brought this upon yourself, OP.

>>15542712
should add that going clamming --> making chowder with the clams you caught is a based date plan. guaranteed female orgasms.

>>15543159
i'm an amerifag, however my mother lived in england and a lot of the dishes i make most frequently come from her.

>>15543802
lol only interested in male orgasms bro

>>15543220
good job. a little sausage or bacon could help balance it, the plate as a whole is pretty sweet.

>>15543820
Yeah I thought so too, but I am a vegetarian. I will get some bacon or sausage for my girl next time, but do you have recommendations for something vegetarian to balance the taste better for me?

i cooked a meatloaf with brussel sprouts and buttered noodles for my grandma yesterday

>>15537826
Could imagine burying your face in her armpit.

>>15540888
that was my go to dish when high/drunk as fuck in college when I couldn't afford anything else who on earth would it impress

Brussels sprouts, with an S at the end of brussel. Brussels.

>>15544364
I'm assuming he made them by hand and not frozen out of a bag anony-kun

>>15544432
>Brussel sprouts
Roasted? Did she have smelly fards after?

Arroz con Leche.
But for an average whore? Molletes (basically beans on toast, with cheese). It's funny seeing them burn the roof of their mouths.

>>15544464
>rice and milk
I fail to see how this constitutes a meal

>>15537915
why the long face LOL

I made some cheese sticks for my mom

I am in my 30s and I never been on a date.

>>15537826
Every time I look at this pic it reminds me of my sick days.

>>15544645

>>15544603
Didn't say "meal" in OP post, faggot.

>>15537826
I'm gay and have a healthy dislike towards women

>>15544793
I'm straight and have a healthy dislike towards faggots and women

>>15537826
I made her scrambled eggs. She had to eat all of them.

>>15538356
I have this gun. is an absolute beast. .32 is a pain in the ass to buy though. fun fact: this was the offically issued sidearm for high ranking French officers in WW1

>>15540879
mixing seafood and dairy should be punishable by death. that is disgusting.

I made home made spaghetti with the expensive, Italian made tomato sauce and cheece. Lots of garlic, ground beef and herbs. She liked it, didn't get any sexy time so I went for her friend and took a pic. So next time when she's gonna dump me, I'll tell her and show I fucked her bf

>>15545131
>home made spaghetti with the expensive, Italian made tomato sauce
Why not make tomato sauce instead? Anything jarred is inferior to some San marzanos squeezed into a pot and simmered for na hour

>>15545137
>Anything jarred is inferior to some San marzanos squeezed into a pot and simmered for na hour
Maybe I just suck or need to be buying better tomatoes, but I can't compete with Rao's.

>>15545150
>>15545137
I'm a zoomer retard, can only cook successful a few dishes like liver and onions, steak with sweet potatoes or full on pasta. I use good quality shit from the rich people store, so it tastes more fresh and tastes better. Made this few days ago

>>15537826
>Steak 1 3/4-2" ny strip S+P, sear, lower heat, high quality butter, rosemary and tyme, butter bath low heat to rare/med rare ( can pop in the oven for up to 3-5 minutes if you so choose
Pick 2-3
All veggies can have balsamic vinaigrette marinade if so chosen but it rarely goes wrong.
>roast onions, halve or quater, oil, s+p, smoked paprika, roasted
>Honey Butter braised carrots or butternut squash with sage, broil just before meal is served
>Broccoli or Asparagus, cooked with butter, s+p and garlic
>cheddar garlic mashed potato's garnish with chives.
>potatos au gratin
pick
>any kind of 3 leaf salad, a lot of girls like arugula, kale and spinach which works with most fruity vinaigrettes though I always go for the ceasar

>>15537826
I did a roast pork with pasta and beets for my girlfriend on Friday. Don't have a pic of that but here's the Christmas snowball I made for us.

>>15537826
I just fire up the grill and they eat good then stay over

>>15544852
I thought he made them boiled, somehow scrambled is even worse kek

>>15545166
Is that a Pioneer Woman spatula I see

>>15539949
that's one tiny nipple. not worth cooking for

>>15539949
that's a mole, retardo

i made cookies for a gril once. she came over and tasted them. her fingers got all chocolatey and she was spilling crumbs everywhere. it was really cute. too bad she rejected me when i asked her out. oh well. it was nice enough having a qt eat my baking. sigh. guess i'll just continue to eat what i make on my own.

>>15537835
Got you a BJ? Do you ask "hey since I made that clam chowder... can you suck my peepee pls?"

>>15546400
>"hey since I made that clam chowder... can you suck my peepee pls?"
God I wish I had a relationship with a 4channer

>>15540708
women make terrible soap

buy them taco bell or mcdonalds

>>15546409
Men are literally better at everything. Elliot tried to tell us bros, but we didn't have ears to hear it..

>>15544852
Kek

>>15545368
How do I make the snowball

>>15543423
kek

>>15546544
You cum in her mouth, then tongue-kiss her.
Nice dubs, snowball.

Chucked chicken, red peppers, cabbage and some Teriyaki in a wok. Ate it over brown rice. Was decent.

>>15537911
faggot

>>15548038
Chickens will literally choose death before cuckoldry. Only one rooster can exist in a chicken coop. Bringing in a second rooster will result in a fight to the death for that sweet, sweet hen poon. The more fiscally canny among us have been known to take bets on these fights, and even televise them.

>>15541025
nearly fucking spat my drink, based

>>15539589
>not cooking a woman for a woman with a woman as a woman

>>15537826
last thing I cooked for a woman was burgers, but it was mostly out of spite because the dumb bitch said hers were better than mine.

Pussy juicier than my burger (and of course her shitty hockey pucks).

>>15537826

>>15537835
reddit-tier post

>>15537826
Cheesecake
and
Cheesecake

gets em every single time. and i love the look on their face when i tell them i even make my berry sauce and crust from scratch.
in truth i personally dont eat it because it has too much sugar for my tatse but it fucking enslaves people so i keep making it.

>>15548128
>Pussy juicier than my burger (and of course her shitty hockey pucks)
epic, totally epic!!!

>>15543517
good lord that image is horrifying. Haven't seen it in years

>>15537915
Wow I haven't seen a picture of them in years. They turned into ghouls real quick

>>15539096
I'd tear that shit up

>>15537826
I think you just gave me a Naked-Girls-Eating fetish...

>>15537826
bought el pollo loco for my mom yesterday

the last non family woman i cooked for was my ex and it was probably some sort of stew
what a waste

>>15537835
did your dick smell like your meal afterwards?

>>15540708
>not cooking for forty women

>>15537826
Toast

>>15537835
>seafood chowder
recipe now and I'll give you a BJ

>>15540738
my girlfriend and i is grammatically correct you ignorant fuck

>>15550077
weak bait
>I made food for I

I usually make some bastardized version of a carbonara, loaded with cream, parmesan, and garlic, usually paired with a spinach and goats cheese salad. It's fucking delicious, and prime brap material if they're staying the night.

Why do women cook to make something to eat but men cook to get better at cooking?

>>15537826
>What was the last thing you cooked for a woman?
The last good day with my ex before we broke up was the Thursday before Thanksgiving 2019. I skipped class to go to the store and made turkey manhattans but added stuffing to them, and served cranberry sauce on the side. They were good. It was nice.
>What's your go-to dish you make to impress sluts?
I make a nice simple breakfast. Bacon, pancakes, coffee.
>>15545090
based Savage 1907 poster, I bought Jaime Regaldo's book on the Portuguese contract pistols. I always keep an eye out for one with a lanyard loop. I actually got to fingerfuck one of the .45 ACP trials pistols that competed with the 1911 at an auction a couple of weeks ago.

what should I cook for my bf for valentines?