/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15388516
Imagine the smell

all of them, where do you think shit comes from?

coffee makes me poop

>>15388516
Orange, milk and coconut water

Cigarettes

worst gas of my life came from dumpster sauage. i then got the same sausage weeks later and it gave me the same gas.

we slept with the van open that night even though it was raining

>>15388677
Dumpster sausage

>>15388516
I haven't consumed anything but two cups of coffee today, I've taken a dump thrice already

Alcohol. I drink alan hale from gilligans island but you cant find food in parks.

steel reserve makes me puke and shit for days

Soy products, jalapenos and any other green pepper.

>>15388592
spbp

Dairy products

Burger King, always.

FUCK BROCOLLI

>>15388677
anon...

>>15388516
Recently any time I eat any quantity of pistachios I get really greasy shits. I don't know why, and it wasn't always like this.

>>15389653
I want to fuck that broccoli

>>15388516
I find it so cute that girls have to poop and sometimes they even get diarrhea and they sit on the toilet with no penis lol

>>15388677
>we

>>15388516
Ice cream for some reason.

>>15388677
>eating meat out of the dumpster

>>15388677
Based

>>15390460
Umm bro?

>>15388516
Raw chicken

>>15388516
>ywn be a cute anime girl

>>15388677
>dumpster sausage

>we

fucking based anon, wanna tell more?

>>15388622
booba

>>15388516
cawfee

thos; beans

>>15388516
anything with meat. which is fucking bad, because I love meat. but I cannot eat it or I'm either gassing or shitting. fuck metabolism. fuck allergies.

>>15388516
Avocados

>>15388677
>dumpster sausage
>we
>van
this is what happens when you become antifatardie, kids!

>>15388516
It's not so much any specific foods, it's not eating when drinking alkyhol that gives me weird ass shits.

>>15391530
I'll see that and raise you a godzooki

>>15388516
Ice cream. I can handle any other kind of dairy, no problem, but even a single scoop of ice cream, and I pay dearly for it. I'm on the toilet right now, shitting my guts out because I had a little ice cream last night.

>>15391560
I feel bad for you, truly, I just ate about half a pint of nice vanilla ice cream after eating some spicy chile. I really only bought it to try it out with fortune cookies, that works but not as well as I'd thought, the cookies break.

What else am I supposed to do with fortune cookies from chinese restaurants?

>>15391555
I checked and witnessed, good sir.

>>15388516
>What foods give you the shits?
Chili

>>15388516
Anything with rape oil. If I pan fry something in rape oil I can just about set my clock to the inevitable diarrhea shitshow that occurs 3 hours later.

>you will never be Satania's toilet while she takes a massive smelly brappy poo

Feels FUCKING terrible desu bros

>>15391854
>>>/g/

i mixed whiskey milk and sweet tarts last night and the vomit and shit were unimaginable

>>15391854
it hurts to live

>>15389930
That's pretty kinky!

6 liters of beer + 3/4 lbs on beanuts

>>15390460
No cute girl would ever admit to pooping, at best they'll admit to doing unicorn farts.

>>15388622

Coconut water is a natural diuretic.

>>15388677

I've had cabbage soup before but one I bought from a restaurant, I honestly felt and saw myself inflate like a balloon. My wife and I were just dying from it. Kept waking up in the middle of the night running to the toilet only to fart constantly for like 5 minutes.

Floor pizza
Me and the lads love to get hammered after work and eat dominos pizza off the pavement
I have a petplay kink so getting the shits is well worth after watching the lads act like animals too

>>15388677
>reddit spacing
>eating meat from dumpster
Do redditfags really?

>>15392161
Don't have a reddit account and I've been typing that way on 4chan since you were still in grade school, started doing it in text messages like 15 years ago, never understood the 'reddit spacing' meme

Honey nut cheerios. Not sure how, not sure why, but those things race through me like an F1 car on the autobahn.

>>15392174
zoomers think the internet is reddit, 4chan, and discord

>>15392193
Ok chud

>>15388516
covfefe

For some reason Stella artois.
Its even garnered a name. "Stella shits"

I'm switching to a diet of carrots and orange gatorade for the next week in the hopes that on the 21st I too can push out a fat orange shit.

Feed me any of that soft goat cheese stuff, and two hours later I will be violently shitting out the contents of my intestines in liquid form. If you inserted a rocket nozzle buttplug, I could probably hover on it.

>>15388516
coconut milk and binge drinking.

>>15391530
politics is a mental illness

Bowel movements are neither food, nor cooking.
Low quality off topic threads are cancer and against >>>/global/rules/6 and >>>/ck/rules/1
OP is a faggot.
Do your part to help purge this board of subhumans like him by reporting this thread.
Here's a link so you don't have to scroll up to the top of the page.
https://sys.4channel.org/ck/imgboard.php?mode=report&no=15388516

>>15392761
>bowel movements
lol what a fag
it is cooking, it is entirely related to cooking

>>15392761
Believe it or not, it used to be food.

>>15392761
Reagan used to be politics, and you can talk about him on/pol/, so the way I see it, this bean burrito used to be food, so I can talk about my shit I just had on /ck/

>>15388516
i love Takis and spicy broth, but it always happens. white people enjoy capsaicin, our guts don't

There is something present in the powder for three cheese and rich n creamy flavors of boxed mac specifically that my body can't handle, I can eat regular or white cheddar boxed shit just fine, but if I have either of those I spend an hour on the toilet later that night

>>15392761
dude i seriously want to hang you from a lamp post, big belly hanging out and piss dripping

>>15388516
shellfish. not Allergic but shrimp, clams, etc are going to give me hellish gut cramps and shits

The double spicy Korean ramen. I love spicy foods, but that had me shitting red water within 15 minutes of finishing the bowl.

>>15391894

>>15389653
Hey fuck you pal, nyo

>>15393129
>this shit was made for dudes to watch

>>15388516
Nothing. Sometimes I wish there were. I've tried Chocolate, Coffee, reduced fat Pringles, Taco Bell Tacos.

Down a can of sauerkraut and you'll be pissing out of the ass

>>15393280
>sauerkraut
will try that next time.

>>15389653
Fuck you

>>15393232
Eat your veggies, anon

>>15388516
Mongolian beef.

>>15393232
I've been grinding out adult life for 10 years and can't get a girlfriend. CGDCT is my only escape from the pain any more. Its this or heroin

>>15388592
the ass

>>15393232
What is the problem?

>>15388516
Just straight milk. If I eat it with anything else like cereal or pb sandwich though, I'm fine.

>>15388516
The only food that consistently does this for me is raw chili pepper.
Like, if I make a salsa from habanero peppers and eat a bunch of that I'll wake up in the morning with indigestion.

>>15388516
Alcohol+hot sauce

>>15393466
moeniggers, everyone

>>15393978
Why do you add hot sauce to your alcohol?

>>15394065
fuck off to reddit

>>15393232

Cabbage.
I love cooking it especially with pork but goddamn it makes me nearly shit my pants every fucking time

>>15394138
I thought that was trump from the thumbnail

>>15394080
it's called a blooody mary

>>15394211
Are you blind

>>15388516
The toilet scenes in Fruit Tart were so hot.

The anthology comic where Ino has an accident while straddling Roko was especially hot.

>>15394231
he probably just has a bad case of TDS

>>15394080
Bloody Mary, michelada. I was actually referring to getting drunk and eating stuff with a bunch of hot sauce though

I have an eating disorder, so pretty much everything

I have IBS, so everything.
Especially anything with tomatoes.

I have AIDS, so pretty much everything

Follar store laxatives...it was sublime...

>>15388516
sauce on the img?

>>15388516

>>15396030
hey man why you gotta post that

>>15388516
Fuckin beer

>>15393466
but have you tried heroin, it's possibly a safer alternative

>>15394211
Dude epic!

>>15394221
horseradish works nicely in a bloody mary also

>>15394237
trying to find that comic, link pls

>>15388516
is alcohol food?

>>15395452
Fruit tart

>>15394237
bruh I went through the anthology comic and saw nothing like this

Hardly anything gives me the squirts, but salad with chives and lotsa cucumber-goddamn.

Psyllium husks for humongous poops.

>>15388516
Undercooked meat sometimes gives me cramps and shits but unless the food is expired I'm usually pretty good.

>>15388516
Coffee and alcohol usually, but I ate Indian yesterday and my asshole is on fire rn it’s a different degree.

>>15396880
A little bit of both of these are amazing in a bloody mary

>>15388597
This.

>be constipated
>get Indian food
>figure instead of giving me diarrhea it will combine to give me normal poop
>now have firehole

>>15400258
Could be worse, could be that space vampire queen.

>>15400258
I had that idea once. Ended up with a cork of constipated poop with champaign-poop behind it. The pressure release when the cork finally popped was life changing.

>>15400289
Did you use a saber?

>>15397694
>>15398078
Storytimed here. Pic related.

https://desuarchive.org/a/thread/211020268/#q211024729

Also features Roko sleeping on the toilet.

>>15388516
Two weekends ago I woke up super hungover and ordered 2 XL pizzas because I’m stupid. I was eating pizza every meal for an entire week. All that bread and cheese plugged up my intestines so the following weekend I went on a fiber cleanse. For 3 days I was eating like 8-12 of those fiber chews, they have like 3g of soluble fiber each. It worked because I got all of that pizza out of my system, but the downside is that a week later I’m getting super oily and loose stools within about an hour after I eat anything.

Maybe pizza would help.

Pickled Jalapenos give me nasty liquid burn shits, no other pickled chillies do this, only Jalapenos for some reason.

>>15388516
6+ pints of unfiltered wheat beer

>>15391998
Subhuman

People always joke that Taco Bell gives them the shits, but that has never been true for me. What does give me the shits is McDonalds.

>>15388686
Don't forget to have a coconut cream pie with that.

>>15388516
>beans
>peas
>cheese
>cauliflower
>broccoli
>kale
>brussels
>peaches
>cherries
>avocados
>apples
>pears
>melons
>raw garlic
>raw onions