/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15291271
I also use MSG to cheat people into enjoying my sub par food

What's your next revelation, Sherlock? The sky is blue?

>>15291271
>cooking onions and garlic before any other ingredients are added
>MMMMM ANON WHAT'S FOR DINNER, SMELLS DO GOOD!

>>15291291
where can I buy msg I thought it was illegal

>>15291294
Satisfy women by injecting heroin into your ballsack.

>>15291336
I'd rather satisfy your dad by injecting my penis into his butthole.

>>15291294
dig the chicken bones out of the kfc dumpster and make stock from it

>fuck up meal bad
>they still eat it and say "its not bad"
>you know its shit

>>15291337
My dad transitioned in 2018 including a trip to Thailand for SRS.
You actually have a choice of orifices now.

>>15291339
Hold the phone...

>>15291312
God damnit I just want to strangle them all to death.

>>15291342
I hate this, dude. I can never find the boundary between their politeness and my own insecurity. On one hand, I know that I'm a pretty damn good cook and even when I fuck up it's probably not horrible, on the other I know that I may have discerning guests and I don't want to embarrass myself by presenting sloppa that they're just being polite about. Infuriating.

test

>>15291342
Mister Lahey?

>>15291364
strongly assert that the food is terrible and whoever thinks it's good has no fucking taste whatsoever
and then apologize and make like a japanese and commit suicide

>>15291313
You can get it at walmart it aint illegal. There was a scare tactic against the asians who used MSG in their food and it still goes to this day. Msg is like a salt and just as harmful as it. So overall its ok and really good.

>>15291312
why do they do this

>>15291271
The black people version.
>add more bbq sauce, siracha, franks than the recipe calls for
>"OMG ANON YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD COOK!!!"
Then a post on twitter about how white people can't cook. Normies in general are retarded.

>>15291551
it helps to take a few days off per week from browsing /pol/, anon

>>15291551
Obsessed

>>15291566
>>15291570
I'm black though.
It's literally true.

>>15291580
>thinks because he's black he speaks for millions of people
typical nigger

>>15291551
The jokes are usually white people don't like spice. Which is generally true.

>>15291551
>hot sauce is a salad dressing
>paprika and salt on everything, a shit tonne of it
>wash down with hennessy for more flavor
yt peepoo don spice dey food deluxe edition bundle, all packs included

>>15291596
nigger

>>15291615
>nigger

>>15291271
yes, it is easy

>>15291608
hotsauce on salad is good wtf are you sneeding about?

>>15291312
>>15291355
>>15291532
It does smell good though

>>15291312
>Start sweating the mirepoix or trinity for whatever the daily soup is
>OMG THAT SMELLS SO AMAZING YOU MAKE THE BEST SOUPS HERE
I went to school for this, and the best thing I've been able to find is a diner in a flyover town, where I've been for years now. Send out resumes constantly, been to quite a few interviews, still stuck at a diner in bumfuck, Wyoming, five years later.

>>15291339
Based and freegan pilled. I haven't paid for food in years, trash food is usually still good, and making soup is a great way to turn.

>>15291635
EVERY GOD DAMN TIME IT'S THE SAME FUCKING MEANINGLESS COMMENT IT MEANS FUCKING NOTHING SHUT YOUR FUCKING COCKHOLE YOU GOD DAMN NEANDERTHAL FUCK YOU AND YOUR SUBHUMAN APE GARBLE.

>>15291735
onions, garlic and celery smell amazing while sauteeing

>>15291271
The true test of a cook is something simple, like porkchops or steak.

>>15291771
>the true test of a mathematician is 2 + 2

>>15291778
Monet and Michelangelo were nothing alike but they both still made beautiful art.

>>15291800
what's your point?

>>15291771
you literally can just put steak on a hot pan with some salt for a few minutes on both dies and it is excellent, anyone can do this

>>15291808
That your comparison is unfair and illogical in this context. If Michelangelo and Monet, or two mathematicians, both did 2+2 then their answers would in all likelihood be the same, and if they weren't then somebody would have objectively failed. That same logic does not apply to creative endeavors subject to individual tastes like cooking or painting.

>>15291313
No dude. Lmfao, it's in everything. Buy some chicken bouillon, it has plenty in there.

>>15291845
cooking is akin to science, it's far more objective than subjective

>>15291828
Are you purposefully exposing your ignorance?
There is a big difference between: picking the right steak, knowing to let it come to temp, patting dry, judiciously salting, having the right temp, the right amount of time and letting rest properly.
And
Put meat on heat
>Is a shitty steak still good?
Yeah, but it is not great.

>>15291861
not saying cooking doesn't take artistry occasionally but cooking steak and pork chops is fucking brain dead

>>15291660
>went to school for this
First off, you never should have done that.

Second, gtfo of Wyoming if you want multiple decent restaurants to grow in.

Third, with resume in tow, go to the top 5-10 restaurants in your(new) local area during off hours. Say you want to speak with the chef/CDC/sous, say you want to stage. Might be harder in COVID times, so you may need to reach out via email or w.e. You'll almost never get paid for these trial shifts, but it's how you get your head into the door and build connections either for an immediate job offer, or job offer down the line if you do well and they keep your resume on file. If you haven't learned this yet, restaurants are incestuous as fuck, and the same carousel of cooks rotate around restaurants until they burn out, move to another city, or, if lucky, get promoted to sous/CDC, etc.

Honestly, with multiple years of diner work in tow, lots of chefs are going to be worried that you not only lack the skills, but that you have developed bad habits that will be hard to break. Diners are all about speed and efficiency, but not necessarily the highest quality control necessary for higher quality dining. Because of this, you will have to show extra effort that you're willing to learn and don't assume you know shit because that's how the diner did it

What you should really do is get the hell out of cooking, though, because it's a dead end-job with shit pay, shit benefits, shit hours, and even when you make it to the top, chances are it'll take up the vast majority of your time and you won't be able to spend time with anyone you care about.

>t. former cook-fag who spent 8 years in fine-dining.

>>15291876
95% of people are less than braindead though. They are either ignorant, even with the phone in their hand, or they neglect, because of the phone in their hand.
I think baking is the complicated subject.

>>15291313
It is sold in US supermarkets. It just isn't called msg because boomers are stupid.

>>15291876
I dont think you are getting it.
Anyone can make something out of clay, but it takes skill and passion to make it beautiful.

>>15291903
the skill ceiling isn't very fucking high for cooking steak, anon
It's not like abstract art, I'm sure you could find 1 person in the world who likes their steak with chocolate sprinkles, does that make the person who cooked it a great misunderstood cook? NO
cooking is more objective than that
you could sculpt some geometric shape that took you 3 hours and suddenly it's worth 300k because that guy who likes his steak with chocolate sprinkles has a lot of money

>>15291313
pretty much any asian market. it has many names, research it.
and it's not illegal, it's the secret ingredient of KFC

>>15291566
>>15291570
How do you do. Fellow BunkerCucks.

>>15291622
Is this your cope for being bad at making memes, leftist fag. I just want to talk about the culinary delights of McDonalds and KFC on /ck/. Please stop projecting.

bump

>>15291927
>Cooking is objective
>But it isn't

>>15292041
it's more objective than art

>>15291858
You cook to personal taste and taste is subjective

>>15291393
Stop telling people my secrets Chris.

>>15291902
I don't trust american products

>>15292189
False. And it is ironic you try to assert that with a subjective opinion.

>>15291271
>cooking something for group gathering
>double the amount of cheese because For Fuck's Sake I'm Not Gonna Have This Shit Just Sit There Uneaten

>it works, people comment on how good it was

>>15291364
my chinese stepcunt does this everyday, and I hate it. Its miserable. Someone adopt me I'll suck dick do anything please take me away from here. her attitude and food is just unbearable I hate it with every fiber in me.

>>15291393
>receive compliments
>reply with vehement denial of any positive qualities commented on and two scoops of self-deprication
literally the worst personality on Earth.

>>15292568
>find a retard from your local retard emporium
>give him a steak
>yell into his face HOT PAN OLIVE OIL 2 MINUTES ONE SIDE 2 MINUTES ONE SIDE
>SALT PEPPER THYME
>mfw when a retard just accomplished a B+ steak
have fun getting a retard to paint a B+ picture

>>15291666
oh..

>>15291973
>culinary delights
>Mcdonals and FKCs
does it get moe American than this? jesus..

>>15292591
dont foget sliced garlics anon

>>15292591
>thyme on steak

You cannot cook

>>15291271
>What is Monte au Beurre?

Hmmmm?

>>15291271
an easy way to scam people into thinking your food tastes better than it really is, is to make it spicier

OK, OK, my 4 year old brother browsed this shit hellhole board with me. He couldn't stop commenting on the frogs. Every time a fucking pepe popped up he burst into laughter. Can you guys cool it with the frogposting?

>>15292669
People post frogs because everyone loves funny frog pictures. You can show him this one, too. A four year old probably shouldn't be browsing this site though sometimes people post bad stuff

>>15292669
>letting a 4 year old see 4chan
I know this is a blue board but he's going to see porno if you keep this up.

>>15292636
how can someone think food tastes better than it does?

>>15291271
>Measure seasonings by sight for normal cooking
>For baking measure everything with measuring tools because bread is a fickle bitch

>>15292679
>>15292681
i assumed a blue board was okay. i needed recipes for dinner but he couldn't get over the fucking frogs. basically, stop pepeposting you fucking cunts my brother will fuck a frog or something.

>>15292691
Make gyros and fries. You can get premade gyro meat at Costco and it's pretty good.

>>15292669
You are a terrible sibling.

>>15292691
I will slit your brother's throat and fuck the hole while I make you watch, then make you eat the cum from his mouth.

>>15291902
Confirmed

>>15292686
by knowing what a certain dish usually tastes like and then eating that dish except it tastes better than the usual

>>15292711
This made me hungry

>>15292630
Thyme is great for steak

>>15291364
From Aulus Gellius

>add more butter, salt, garlic than the recipe calls for
>dish is completely ruined

>>15291660
Laramie?

>>15292630
Huh?

>>15291271
That means you're using shit recipes

>AAAAAHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO WHY ARE PEOPLE COMPLIMENTING ME AND APPRECIATING MY WORK
this thread is for faggots

>>15292722
cringe

>>15291596
>white people don't like spice
Wrong. That's a myth invented by nogs grasping for literally anything to one-up whitey with.
We conquered the fucking planet hunting for spice. Go back to worldstarshithop and take your nigger propaganda with you.

>>15294396
Spice was just a sideline to the really profitable ventures of enslaving people and plundering their natural resources.

>>15294453
>natural resources
Almost there

>>15291312
Cook some cumin seeds too for best smell

>>15294453
>Only whites enslaved people

>>15295121
Yeah. Lumber, rubber, gold, iron.

>>15291858
Wrong. Applying science and objectivity is one of the worst things to ever happen to cooking.

protip: substitute butter for bacon fat to get your dick sucked

>>15291551
>black people
>using siracha
Make that seasoned salt and it would be more accurate, I hate that shitty fucking seasoning and my relatives use it for everything.

>>15291622
KEK

>>15295533
No one said that, you fragile idiot.