/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15276535
thats why I dont go outside anymore

>>15276535
Shut up Jose

>>15276535
>tamales for Christmas
wut

Tamales are gross that based boomer pranked yall all the way back to technothiuacacuckhan

>>15276650
eat shit uncultured fag

>>15276650
its the only thing they get to open
t. mexican

>>15276650
He's trying to force something, there's like 4 tamale threads now.

>>15276650
Man that's the best time to get them. The local mexican Grandmas are out in force in the grocery store parking lot selling huge bags for cinco dollars

>>15276669
Get beheaded by a cartel with a chainsaw wetback

>>15276675
Or perhaps it could have something to do with the fact that it's a traditional christimas food for a lot of people, and you know, it's fucking christmas in two days. Dumbass.

>>15276681
Never going to happen lardo.

>>15276680
Mexican grandmas are based

>>15276535
>a ketchup based sauce
didn't happen

>>15276650
>>>15276535 (OP)
>>tamales for Christmas
>wut
I wish I had the energy to make them. They're a kind of fun family project, a real labor of love, for Christmas Eve in Mexican households. It's an easy kind of thing to have already made, keeping warm, ready for when you come home from Midnight Mass.

>>15276744
>>>15276535 (OP)
>>a ketchup based sauce
>didn't happen

I'm pretty sure my mom didn't make up the story, she was disgusted by the whole meal

>>15276669
go mow some lawns pedro

>>15276723
Yeah because you jumped the border therefor your “Mexican Culture” is meaningless because you ran from it

>>15276535
liar

>>15276744
>midnight mass
Disgusting catlicks.

>>15276799
Based

Spics are so annoying with this shit. You've been part of America since before day one. Your food is like 5 ingredients slapped together in different ways and the Brazilians have much better music than you. Stop acting like a tortilla is special.

>>15277301
It's a true story you DOPE

>>15276535
I believe in the god given right of any nation to enjoy or hate on fucked up versions of other people's cuisines.

>>15276535
One time I got invited to a "Friendsgiving," where my best friend's girlfriend decided to "come out" as a vegan and served everyone tofurkey to prove we'd all love it and choose to be vegan ourselves.

When it didn't go over like she planned, she cried and cried, which she was known to do. I'm happy they broke up.

>>15277373
no it isn't stop lying.

>>15276776
>I'm pretty sure my mom didn't make up the story
no it's you that is lying, none of it happened.

>>15277395
MY MOM SAID IT HAPPENED. I WAS NOT THERE BUT I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE HER ACCOUNT WAS ACCURATE.

>>15277398
DO YOU WANT A GODDAMN SWORN AND NOTARIZED STATEMENT REGARDING THE TAMALES BECAUSE I AM THIS CLOSE TO GETTING ONE

>>15277439
This all caps motherfucker is so annoying. He posts fucking everywhere. I have been checking the past few days and he is really unfunny; he does a few posts normal and responds in lole random xd allcaps. You can always tell because the poster count doesn't increment.

>>15277398
It's the same sperg on a lot of posts who posts outlandish stories after hearing one tidbit of info, it didn't happen.

>>15277550
there are only two anons here, it's just you and me

>>15276650

very common for all occasions with Mexicans, seemingly. I have some Peruvian ancestry so never had tamales growing up but I just moved to LA and my neighbors gave me a plate with some leftover tamales and fruit pie after Thanksgiving. They were pretty good.

>>15276799
>>15277316
Stay in your head canon, trailer trash.

>>15276670
actually lold

>>tamales were cornmeal, a very small amount of meat, and a ketchup based sauce

This is what I end up getting every time I get tamales sold by an actual Mexican lady, it just tastes like flavorless mush with a slight hint of chicken

>>15277559
r-really?

>>15277609
yup, glad you finally responded, my hands were getting tired

>>15276535
She sounds like a great lady, desu. Why are you such a cunt? Americans are nice to you when you fuck up our culture, Jose. Maybe you should'a stayed south of the border where your faggot ass could watch your bitchy mom get gangraped by your highly cultured cartel buds.

>>15277316
Brazilian food is a joke

>>15277616
>amerifats think ketchup is sauce and are so brainwashed by video games and violence they constantly think about nothing but rape and corn syrup their entire lives lmao

>>15277696
>mexicans literally rip each other apart like their "precious" poison lard tamales
>yet Americans are the voilent fatasses
That black tar heroine is fucking up whatever was left of your already laughable mind. Lady made a nice gesture at Christmas party your worthless family decided to join and somehow turned this nice gesture of effort into a form of offensive oppression olympic tier bullshit. Go die from all your fat intake, Jose, you fat fuck.

>>15277718
damn that's a lot of seethe

>>15277748
That's rich coming from the faggot who made a whole topic about "m-muh hwite oppression!" Go back to your shit hole and die in a ditch.

>>15277756
the seethe continues kek

>>15277770
>t-the seethe
You're the one crying about how much of a victim that horrible 70 lady made your mother become. You nutless monkey. You're also brown. No one gives a shit what you think.

>>15277780
watch your alarmingly high blood pressure with all that seething anon

>>15277786
Quite so, brown stain. Would be a shame to waste even 1bpm on something meant for servitude.

>>15277795
especially with those fat fuck clogged arteries of yours, a heart attack is basically guaranteed

>>15277803
You before me, gordo. Now stfu and suck down your shitty death bricks of fat you affectionately refer to as "tamales." Then go finish working on the lawn.

>>15276535
Am I the only one who thinks even good tamales are meh? And I have had them from straight up illegal abuelas

>>15277810
kek you sound mad

>>15277816
I've had one person make them good. Every other time, they were shitty even before factoring how absolutely terrible they are for you.

>>15277816
I think you're a gay ass faggot, how's that?

>>15277835
>butt blasted people weren't stockholmed into liking shit food like he was
Oh, no, anon. Don't get so upset.

>>15277590
I'm from arizona. Mexican was normal and I was the different one.

>>15277816
They're okay.

>>15277632
Yeah but samba and bossa nova shit all over mariachi garbage.

>>15277546
Never heard of him

>>15277718
It's ok to complain about being served absolutely horrible food, even if the person who made it had good intentions.

>>15277822
How are they that terrible for you? They're corn flour, meat, some oil, and sauce. They're not the healthiest food ever, but they're not as bad as wolfing down a bunch of Flamin' Hot Cheetos

>>15278024
Ok, tamales are shit to begin with, so boohoo.
>>15278028
Authentically made, they're fucking bricks of lard with corn flour and maybe some combination of meat, cheese, and veg for flavor.

>>15276650
I'm not even mexican and my sister is making some based lard

>>15278037
So you can't cook, got it.

>>15276535
>Tamales were cornmeal, a very small amount of meat

>>15278037
>Authentically made, they're fucking bricks of lard with corn flour and maybe some combination of meat, cheese, and veg for flavor.

Lard is pretty healthy

>tfw you end up on the morning news lining up at 4am for tamales on Christmas eve at a famous restaurant

>>15278080
If tamales were made good, the recipe would be different, and then they wouldn't be tamales. You're free to enjoy your stockholme meals, you fat fuck, but don't come crying to me about your dead taste buds.

>>15277316
LARPing like the US has any culture. Tssk tssk tssk.

>>15278571
>feeling so inadequate about your own culture that you feel the need to convince others they have none
How's alcoholism treating you, loser?

>>15278580
>>feeling so inadequate about your own culture that you feel the need to convince others they have none
I don't need to convince anyone. It is a known fact that the US has less culture than a pigeon's precum.

>>15278769
>if I say it's a fact, it means it's true
Good luck with AA, fren. Seems like you need it.

>>15278772
>>Good luck with AA, fren. Seems like you need it.
>Thinking that I have a problem
Americans have good hearts, I'd give them that much.

>>15278778
It's not yours to give, Jose. You don't own shit to give away.

>>15278783
>Jose
I love how you thought that I was Mexican or someshit. Unironically the one of few countries that Americans can claim to be better than (ie: a shithole).

Hope that 600 buck stimulus cheque found you well, Cleetus ;)

>>15278810
>d-do Americans really?
Rent free, Jose.

>>15278826
>Rent free, Jose.
me ded after red that

>>15278571
Have you heard of hollywood, jazz, blues, country, r&b, all the trucks you lower, and our sick military industrial complex spreading our culture far and wide?

Here's a nice Townsend-style video on Tamales for anyone interested.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2JyN7JF8bs
I personally didn't know they used to have fruit tamales in pre-colonial times.

>>15279025
BBQ, southern food, fusion food, western clothes, flight, space, Internet, education, community, self improvement, military, democracy, etc. The list really does go on and on. These poo people like to cry about it while also begging to be let in. It's fucking pathetic.

>>15279053
>education, community, self improvement, military
These things are not exclusive to america. Stop talking out your ass.

>>15279025
Hollywood is shit and one of the worst things about america. Fuck off if you take pride in a bunch of pedos

>>15279193
I can see what he means with the university system being the best in the world especially for research and the military industrial complex being extremely bloated and the easiest way out of poverty here. In fact for most americans they deify the military class despite it being indentured mercenary servitude with free money as the reward at the end of being indentured more than anything. We have no community anymore though.

>>15276535
Yes, my friend said she made the best pies in London, turns out they were the worst pies in London. Even ale didn't get the taste out.

>>15279198
They've been making movies since the 1920s anon. The medium has changed the world and is arguably the highest form of art. If anything the rest of the world especially china has ruined hollywood because now that third worlders have access to distribution they have dumbed down movies into spectacle flicks so that they can be translated easily then sold to chinese markets. The 50 million dollar movie is dead. But hey it's still fun to watch classics like Some Like It Hot or War of the Worlds or Josie Wales.

>>15279193
Bitch, we made those things into something. Just because you have a version of it doesn't make it better than dogshit.

>>15276650
My Italian grandmother makes them during Christmas, and has for decades. It must be common in Southern California and Mexico in general.

>>15279227
Can confirm tamales are traditional mexican christmas food.

>>15278830
mamamia

>>15276680
Where is cinco and how do I get some of their currency

>>15279621
Cinko is fümf in pirtugese

>>15277632
>Brazilian food is a joke
In what way exactly? You do realize most brazilian foods are actually european dishes that got brought here along with the imigrants, right? We hardly have any actual dish that is unquestionably 100% brazilian.

>>15279625
What about monkey stew, chief?

>>15279630
That is from Guatemala, not Brazil.

The truth is that monkeys are heavily protected by law here in Brazil to the point that they have more rights than the average citizen. You will literally get a lesser punishment for murdering a child than you would for killing a monkey.

>>15276535
Why are regular tamales so dry?!

>>15276535
Why are stupid spics and beans akin to niggers when it comes to basic common sense?

>>15276535
>>15276658
>>15277602
>>15277816
not many mexicans know how to make proper tamales. It's an ancient tradition that only a few oaxacos, chilangos and poblanos only know how to make. If the person making tamales is not from these states, there tamales are going to be trash.

t. mexican from oaxaca

>>15276535
I think it’s a Latino thing. I’m white hispanic, and I grew up eating tamales for Christmas since I can remember.

>>15276535
>ketchup
Wtf why are you putting ketchup in tamales?

>>15279193
Then why was the rest of the world traah until we grew into the big sibling that did everything best and forat, improved on little toddler shot despite only being 100~ years old, faggot?

>>15279051
Tasting History is a great channel - big fan. Also his eyes are dreamy

>>15279884
>White hispanic
So Hispanic? You’re not white no matter how much you want to be, spic.

>>15277908
Thats a poor comparison but mariachi is on the voyager record so it can't be that bad

>>15279985
they think if they vote for trump and say racist things the white nationalists will accept them

>>15279985
>>15280231
>So Hispanic?

I'm Castizo. Pls no bully

>>15277908

might as well be listening to synchronized assholes farting.

>>15276535
My mother still clings to her religion because she's got serious daddy issues and papa jesus loves her no matter what and she *NEEDS* that sense of security.

She invited us to her pastor's vegan BBQ and abolutely fucking INSISTED that we go because "it's very important to me".

The "BBQ" was corn grilling on the cob and cold pasta salads and a cut up watermelon. Me, my boyfriend, my aunt and cousins are all sitting there staring at each other and wondering why the fuck we even entertained her with this. We ended up going to a restaurant immediately afterward.

Just the most cringy thing ever.

>>15279985
There are blonde hispanics
Shocking, I know

>>15280302
Lois ck is mexican and carlos mencia isnt

The best tamales I ever had were made by white people in a hole in the wall restauy off Lyndhurst Rd. and Rockville Rd. in Indianapolis.

>>15280425
Wow, you’ve only eat tamales twice in your life. Get the fuck outta here, uncultured plebeian.

we are making tamales right now

>>15280706
Cool. Should do an OC thread so retarded /pol/cels can vent their frustrations.

>>15276535
this reminds me of my husband's aunt when she said that she had a great recipe for guacamole. oh, what is it? well, you get a container of premade guacamole and mix it 50/50 with miracle whip.

>>15280706
never seen these type of tamales
where you from?

>>15280770
seethe

>>15276627
>>15276681
>>15276789
>>15277316
>>15277795
dying race

>>15279198
lol okay you lame ass contrarian weirdo

OP here, I came home for Christmas today and my mom got out a recipe book put together by her social club. Unfortunately, tamale lady didn't contribute any recipes. There are some real gems in the book though, like the most bizarre recipe for sloppy joes I've ever seen. I'll post pics tonight.

>>15281780
this is the worst christmas eve ever so i'm really looking forward to this, please don't let me down

>>15278056
so you're just grabbing a spoon and going to town on a bowl of pure lard on christmas eve?

>>15276535
based hostess

>>15281862
hehe there's a comma missing so you misconstrued the meaning of the comment to something else for humor

>>15277835
Why are wetbacks always so insecure?

>>15279872
Makes sense, would not expect someone from Baja or Chihuahua to make great cochinita pibil, or vice versa for Yucatan and carne asada.
Like Oklahoma vs Carolina barbecue.

>>15279924
I hope Santa gifts you some reading comprehension tonight.

>>15280231
It is the leftists that call them white so they can skew crime statistics.

>>15280302
Those are Spaniards and Argentinians
>>15280326
Louis CK is not ethnically "Mexican" though

>>15277439

>>15276535
I know it's not happening, but I wish people would be less judgmental about home cooked meals.

No one ever has people over for dinner anymore. Dinner parties are dead. House parties are dead. If you meet up with people, it's always at a restaurant. Thanks to Gordon Ramsey and the other fucking trash talking cooking shows, it's no longer socially acceptable to have people over for dinner unless you're a professional chef.

Makes me sad.

>>15282288
There's a difference between a regular home cooked meal, and some godawful slop like ketchup tamales.

>>15281780
>>15281857
I started a new thread with the recipe book. >>15282570

>>15282571
bless you, anon

>>15276650
It's actually very nice.

>>15282980
Not Christmas food though José

>be a gringo
>no connection to mexican culture
>had a fling with a latina for a few years 20 years ago
>her mom made great tamales
>it's been long over
>considered making a big batch of tamales this year for navidad
>never made them before, but seems within my skill set now

>>15277602
you need to get tamales from mexican ladies in Los Angeles. Preferably one selling alongside whole corn slathered in mayo and cheese, horchata, and located in or near a train station. The good ones all hit the hotspots

>>15279625
sushi soup

>>15283189
I'd try it

>>15282990
Feliz Navidad.