/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15274761
What IS the Grimace?

>>15274767
A proud, intelligent, African king.

>>15274767
A demon that Ronald tamed over the years

Until he just became some fat lump of a creature that lost all it's beastly instincts

>>15274797
>big toes
mmm post feet

How many mcdoubles can he eat at once

Why does he burgle hams?

>>15274761
You don’t want the deep lore truth

Apparently theres a wiki for mcdonalds lore

>>15274852
I miss the old cheeseburgers

>>15274761
https://youtu.be/yCT0NlzDtNs

>>15274889
ours still look like that. Did they change yours?

>>15274767
Hot.
https://youtu.be/kH2nYdy-6lw
https://youtu.be/kNBPmwf-U-E

anyone else have intense recurring sex dreams about mcdonalds characters?

>>15274922
Grimace and Hamburgler were originally the villains of McDonald lore

>>15274935
It's Wendy

>>15274935
No.

What happened to the McDonalds characters?

>>15274761
yes....yes it is.

whatever happened to te hamburgler....and the macdonalds clown?

They should bring back all the other characters apart from ronald macdonald

>>15274761
What's the McDonaldland equivalent of The Silmarillion?

>>15276196
Mayor McCheese was a total pimp.

>>15274852
How does he chew burgers with one tooth?

>>15276157
the ad agency that pushed the i'm lovin' it campaign wanted them phased out

>>15276319
Word

>>15275544
Oh god yes

>>15276795

>>15276802
>InB4 "That is a dude!"

I already know.

>>15276795
My idea of personal heaven. Every single shit she takes for the rest of her life goes directly from her anus to my mouth. My lips puckered around her slightly stained adorable little butthole patiently awaiting the treat to issue forth and slide into my mouth. The first couple appetizers are just farts that echo in my mouth and come out my nose which serve just to tease me. The moment then arrives and the first hint of my delectable treat slowly emerges with a nice shiny slime of fecal matter from her innermost bowels. It slides into my mouth and I cry tears of joy as it plays its delicious symphony across my taste buds. She giggles as it fully emerges and pushes down my throat and into my tummy. I have got my reward and while she wipes her fragile hole I lay back and weep in ecstasy. She leads me to my cage where I patiently await my next treat. Please eat and become full I whisper, I need my treats.

>>15276811

>>15276811
Im very hungover and this almost made me throw up. Well written.

>>15276811
>she

>>15276811
I used to be like you, I used to *imagine the smell* until I got a gf...until one day it wasn’t just in my imagination anymore...
>storytime
Caught my gf pooping...so I broke up with her
She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U WHORE, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop whore. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.

>>15274920
Yah, the bread has a worse spongy texture and theres barely any condiments. They even had this "revamp the classics" event where all they did was add mustard for a few weeks or so and hiked up the price. The mustard is gone now, but the price is still hiked. Cheeseburgers are mcdouble prices and are dry and feel like a stale sponge.

>>15276857
Heartbreaking story, my dude. You deserve better than a filthy pooper gf.

>>15274852
to feel something real

>>15276319
>>15276157
>>15276758
Uh oh
https://thisshouldbethenews.wordpress.com/2015/08/20/fbi-raid-home-of-mayor-mccheese-on-suspicion-of-veal-porn/amp/

>>15276994
Epstein's fingerprints are all over this.

>>15276811
nice

>>15276811
Dude, get help.

>>15276809
>>15276841
Wait, what?

>>15274761
Ronald McDonald jerks off to snuff porn

>>15274849
fucking footfags, begone

>>15276811
Shove penis in poop call that a poonis

>>15276857
Goddamn that's funny

>>15278988
??

>>15280150
Ronald McDonald has terabytes worth of illegal material on various hard drives and is a part of a ring of pedophiles and other elite sexual deviants that exchange this material amongst themselves

>>15278988
Wtf, I love McDonald's now?

>>15278594
>>15276809
reverse search, that's am*uranth, a twitch thot. Biological female that has legions of simp orbiters and a husband lmao

>>15274761
Remember when McDonalds was all about their extra thick shakes?

>>15276811
Nice copypasta

>>15274770
WE WUZ GRIMACES

>>15278994
fucking disgusting.

>>15274761
it is now

>be me
>road trip
>walk into McDonald's
>can smell oil from carpark
>try to order with electronic machine
>It's got fucking pop ups
>so many fat people
>get "el maco"
>It's bad, but the chips are oddly satisfying
>dat hydrolized oil
>discard weird syrup drink
Could have been worse, but for the same money I could have got a kebab or a real burger from the fish and chip shop

https://youtu.be/WQPGhbuppe4

>>15274761
Mcdonalds...OUT! Not in this country.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRq2DEXw-Uo

>>15283693
Ugly cowtits

>>15274761
Can someone here make a McDonalds iceberg?

https://youtu.be/i15A5jigrRM

>>15284395

>>15284410
Delete this fucking post right now goyim

>>15284416
sorry :(

>>15274885
WH-AOH BLACK BETTY, RAMA JAM
*grimace rhythmically gyrates*

Where does it all begin?

>>15276196
>not wanting to bring back Ronald
fuck you

>>15274885
>last seen
Lol

>>15274761
Carbonation grimace

>>15276795

>>15274770
>4 hands
He's obviously Indian

>>15283150
>Biological female
Kek. No. Look up pics of "her" from years ago. That is 100% a dude.

>>15274761
Understanding a nation's food mythology is vital to comprehending the nature of its people. France has its cheeses, Britain its puddings, and Germany its sausages. And then there is the most mysterious of lands; America.

>>15288599
>Britain has its puddings
They do have black pudding, don't they? Only in England would ochre jelly and grey slime be considered appetizing dishes.

>>15288599
American food mythology has been erased in the last ten years. We used to have a very rich culture of Ronald McDonald, Burger King Kids Club, and Cereal Mascots. The post-modern minimalism movement slowly erased them all, because focus groups said that people didn't like mascots or some garbage like that.

Once upon a time McDonalds had a very rich lore to it. The Grimace, Mayor McCheese, The Hamburgler, and the ever mysterious Ronald McDonald who has seemingly god like powers within his world. His world where hamgburgers grow on trees, and yet for some reason Hamburgler still wants to steal them.

>>15274770

>>15283150
lol if you say so

>>15283150
Whatever floats your boat, bro.

>>15290664
Oh man, remember that one really weird Internet guy who dressed up as Peter Pan?
I was in some IRC channels with him back in the day but I didn't exactly know him.

>>15288785
Wtf? Where have you been getting your black puddings from? They're not meant to have the consistency of jelly or slime, let alone those two combined. Black pudding is a dry blood sausage.

>>15290419
Now, if that's a fact, tell me: am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.

>>15276811
This post is proof white people deserve to be genocided

>>15276811
hooooooooly fuck you got me

>>15276811
based and poopie-treat pilled

>>15291972
>Shitskin cannot into satire
Typical and tiresome. Don't you have some cattle vagina to perform cunnilingus on in the hopes it will make them fertile?

>>15284434
hahaha fugg

>>15278994
KEK ITS SO GROSSS AHAHAHA

>>15290664
No fuckin way

You can't kill the grimace

>>15276196
They should bring back the original.

(She's from Birmingham *bam ba lam* Way down in Alabam *bam ba lam*)

>>15283894
>chips
Fuck off thirdie

>>15285392
I love her but some of the insertions and fisting make me worried for her health. Also pretty sure it was her influence that got Ella to drink the german yellow...

>>15293265
Wayne Gacy vibes

>>15283894
What is a "carpark"? What is an "el maco"? What kind of McDonald's serves chips?
Sorry, pal, but I don't believe you were at an actual McDonald's. You sure instead of Golden Arches, it didn't have Golden Arcs or some shit?

>>15274935
nah, but i have recurring dreams about trans lady bois lately. it's pretty awesome. it's either that or big titted mommies.

>>15284378
Stupid bitch

>>15276811
Baez ed

>>15293278
El Maco is the Australian McRib

>>15293278
i imagine it's a place where cars park. dipshit

>>15274903
>dude what if thing for kids was creepy and disgusting
shit like this is just trash
never post this again

>>15283894
fairly subtle bait 8/10

>>15294568
No it's fucking not, it's a Mexican themed burger ya dingus

>>15289615
Do you even know what post modern means?

>>15297021
Yes, it means communist fags fron California making things faggy.

>>15297021
Ultimately its a rebellion and destruction of what came before, as values are lost, and everything conforms into a giant grey blob as they've lost their history and thus have nothing to build upon anymore.

But in terms of you understanding what it means the basic definition is

>Post modernism
>(sometimes initial capital letter) any of a number of trends or movements in the arts and literature developing in the 1970s in reaction to or rejection of the dogma, principles, or practices of established modernism, especially a movement in architecture and the decorative arts running counter to the practice and influence of the International Style and encouraging the use of elements from historical vernacular styles and often playful illusion, decoration, and complexity.

The way a fast food place loses its history, loses its colors, the building just slowly morphs into a giant square, with muted black and white and browns. A rejection of modernism, and what came before, throw out the old ways and reject complexity. As everything is simplified over time until it loses everything that made it.

That's the post-modern style of current fast food trends.

>>15297051
Glad they got rid of all the mascots in the 70s

>>15293278
>What is a "carpark"?
An ark for carp.
>What is an "el maco"?
That's Spanish slang for "the prison."
>What kind of McDonald's serves chips?
Subway.

>>15276157
Mickey D's wants to shed their "family restaurant" image and become an efficient drive-thru dispenser of cheap, quick to eat food for wagies, so they can get to work on time and not waste time on lunch breaks, to keep Mr Goldstein happy. Look at the adoption of the minimalistic themes, it has moved on from being a cheerful kids restaurant to a time-saving meal replacement for the overworked.

>>15278994
he's lovin' it

>>15274761
Do you guys think that if I snuck up on a McDonalds during the night, I could steal all of its fry oil to sell to BP?(In Minecraft)

>>15298300
There isn't grease in minecraft so you will have a hard time pulling that scam off.

hamburglar is a kid? I thought he was older. it should be easy to stop him from stealing hamburgers.