/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14996757
Just one brap in my mouth. It’s all I ask

thats a man

>>14996757
Imagine cumming in her ass and during the rest of her shift she keeps farting your cum into her panties haha, just as a joke though.

>>14996781
Must be post-op then

>>14996757
Nicely done, I like how she didn't get implants but instead let the HRT do its job naturally. Bet her boipussy is tight af

>>14996818
Imagine being those panties that soak up her semen braps

>>14996836
Imagine having to clean them with your tongue haha

>>14996781
No it's abella danger

>>14996842
Haha that’d be so gross right? I mean just imagine

>>14996781
Cool it with the antisemitism, friend

>Dad gets paranoid someone has messed with his food
>Asks Waiter to taste it to verify
>If they refuse he accuses them of tampering with his food, loudly
>Escelates things by yelling for the manager
>Starts to ask the other tables around us "Sorry to bother you but we ordered the same thing, does X taste normal to you? Do you think we should wait until the manager helps sort this out?"
>Other patrons start talking to my dad "Yeah I thought the chicken tasted off too, never had it taste like this before" because the power of suggestion is a thing
>By the time the manager gets out Dad has recruited a gang of people convinced the chef spat in their burgers and the waitress farted on it
>Nobody is eating anymore but watching my dad and the surrounding tables argue with the manager

>>14997039
did you fuck your dad to calm him down?

>>14997039
Is be fine with the waitress fart

>go to Tgi fridays today
>just want a few oreo milkshakes
>every ice cream place near me closed for the season
>order one
>order another
>after i finished my second the waitress asks if I need antying else
>i see what about me you and some kids and a house and I winked
>she didnt say anything just looked blankly and disgusted at me
>she never came back to my table
>another wauiter came over gave me the bill etc
>asked where she weren't he said her shift ended
>walking out and see her waiting on other tables


wtf she couldn't have laughed or said no thanks? why did she have to be such a cunt

>>14997174
that's what you get for going on a day that isn't friday, faggot

>>14997188
it was jusy a joke I don't understand why she had to react like that

>>14997174
you trigged some remorse deep in her subconscious, maybe she was getting married and her husband died or something like that. maybe your just a ugly piece of shit

>at local waffle establishment
>table is not nailed to floor
>grab to move it forward
>touch something firm and sticky
>look under
>entire underside covered in gum
>just an absurd amount
>SPLOTCHES of the actual table visible
>wash hands then leave

Even if that is a man I would still fuck and let fuck me.

>>14997039
Kek

>>14997039
>Other patrons start talking to my dad "Yeah I thought the chicken tasted off too, never had it taste like this before" because the power of suggestion is a thing
>By the time the manager gets out Dad has recruited a gang of people convinced the chef spat in their burgers and the waitress farted on it
hahahahaha
thats almost impressive

>Go to Chilis
>Get seated with girlfriend at a booth
>Pause because it smells rank
>There's an obvious smear/streak of hot diarrhea on my side
>"Uh, I'm not sitting there"
>Without looking she smears the shit around with a dirty dish towel
>"It'll dry soon."
>"I want a different table" I demanded
>We were seated a table across so we had to sit and stare/smell the rancid shit

Left within minutes.

>>14996781
>>14996825
>>14996829
>>14997305
It's a woman you jackasses. Post horror stories like the others.

>>14997174
what the fuck
you didnt actually do this did you?
jfc you are so autistic

>>14997219
>A FEW oreo milkshakes
Or he was simply unattractive and creeped her out.

>>14997174
> Be wagie working shit job at TGI Friday’s
> Serving a guy who’s sitting alone
> He smells fucking rank
> This dude orders no food, but MULTIPLE oreo milkshakes
> “Can I get you anything else sir”
> “Uhhm... oh uhh, how about we move in together and I’ll impregnate you with children! Ha ha...”
> Fuck this shit I’m out
> The guy apparently didn’t take the hint, now he’s asking all your coworkers where you are

>FRIDAY NIGHT MUTHAFUKA
>order pizza, it's busy to expect it to arrive late
>one hour passes, alright no biggy
>two hours pass, call the store
>they say they delivered it an hour ago
>wtf
>someone received the fucking pizza and didn't say a word because lol free pizza
>they send another one
>1 hour later, no pizza
>go to sleep, it's 12 AM
>call in the morning
>they actually delivered it to the wrong house AGAIN
>ask for a refund
>declined
>manager sus of me, obviously the chances of fucking up the delivery TWICE is really low
>fuck it, if they fuck it up again i'm not buying from them ever again
>finally get my fucking pizza after literally 13 hours of waiting
i'm only not hyper salty because they lost 4 large pizzas and two orders of wings total not including what i received

>me and 2 friends finish walking joker waitress is really cute
>never had a girlfriend and a virgin at 21 years old so want to get one
>we finish paying I tip the cute waitress $5 for the $25 meal I just ordered and she looks happy
>complement her hair and eyes (she was blonde and had green eyes and was very cute), she smiles and says aww thank you
>she goes to take our plates and then drops the a fork and it gets all over my jacket
>she starts panicking
>says “omg I’m so sorry, let me wipe it off”
>I realize that this is the moment
>tell her “don’t worry about it, how about I take your number and we can work things out”
>she gives me a concerned look and just says sorry and leaves without wiping it off
>start feeling embarrassed
>friends tell me to keep my head up high
>start remembering the scenes from joker and on the bus ride home I have flashbacks from high school
i'm 5'4 and beginning to think that this is why women are not interested in me, I work out too and have a good personality, is it over for me bros?

>>14996757
>8/10 body
>yet, middle aged man skeleton
nature is scary

>>14997647
You like men, anon.

>>14997647
Faggot

>>14997656
>>14997664
cope harder coomers, she literally looks like a man when she isn't taking BBC in all 3 holes

>>14997618
Don't try to get a waitress' phone number, it never works. I have a friend who worked as a waiter and he actually had the opposite situation happen where a customer asked for his number. He gave her his number, but she never called.

>>14997618
Yeah its over at 21.. are you serious no.
Don't get all disheartened your friends are right and i think its a little wrong to hit on people that are at work. They're actually slaves and don't want that kind of attention.

>>14997039
I envy your father's charisma

>>14997618
>i'm 5'4 and beginning to think that this is why women are not interested in me, I work out too and have a good personality, is it over for me bros?

you're insecure
the fact that you're worried is an expression of insecurity
it's not a specific action that betrays this to women but a million subtle non-verbalized subconscious indicators that you scream at the world through the style of how you behave

stop giving a shit
fuck some fatties or uggos on tinder (maybe ask if they wanna be fwb but dont catch feelings, you're gonna catch feelings because you're a virgin) til "fucking" is mundane and not something built up in in your brain as something special to be nervous about

>>14996757
Ordered a hamburger, it came out barely rare.

>>14997039
>waitresses farting on burgers
>literal assburgers
lmao

>>14997886
Fuck that reminds me of mine

>order hamburger rare
>waitress comes back and says “the chef refuses to do it rare”
>”please ask him why he isnt confident about the quality of his ingredients”
>comes back and says he told her I can come into the kitchen and make it if I like

I’m out with friends after a few drinks so I feel like I have to call his bluff, plus Im still drunk

>go to kitchen with waitress
>he yells at us both
>Im sure he spit in my medium rare burger

It was worth it but without the power of booze I wouldnt have done it.

>>14998026
based, fuck that ""chef"" you did good. though I would've walked right out after he yells at a paying customer

>>14997618
You don't have a good personality. Nobody here does. Don't fool yourself.

>>14998256
you shut your pretty little whore mouth

>>14997174
They're dealing with that shit every day. It's not cute or funny to them. It's slowly wearing them out psychologically.

>>14997884
i have a really small peepee i don't want to have sex just have a girlfriend so the virginity part is sort of just a lie

>>14998300
why not just turn gay? having a boyfriend is way better than having a girlfriend

>>14996757
Ones English men walk to chines restaurant with the dog. He give leash to the waiter asking take care of it while he will be dining. After dinner waiter bring pay note and dogs leash.
What a surprise for a men to find out, that he just eat his own dog.

>>14998300

My dick is slightly under 6 inches and I lost my virginity at 17 and have had multiple girlfriends since. You probably just ooze insecurity which is a huge turn off to everyone. I was like that until HS when I joned sports teams, did well at them and started building confidence.

>>14997174
Aren't those things 2000 calories each or something? How fat are you?

>>14996847
based coomer

>>14997618
you posted a pepe so yea it's over bro. ...

>>14996757
>be child in a family of 5
>we drive 40 minutes to a nice restaurant for a special occasion
>line is another 40 minutes, so parents decide to drive somewhere else
>everyone argues in the car about where to go next
>no matter what's suggested, somebody hates it
>the odd one out always says "go ahead, don't worry about me", but nobody accepts that
>especially when mother says it, the bitch is psycho and does not mean it
>an hour of arguing passes
>finally everyone agrees on a restaurant, we drive there
>walk in, realize not a single person wants to be there and everyone just compromised
>walk out, start driving around again
>another hour passes
>arguments have reached shouting levels
>parents have headaches, kids want to go home
>dad just takes the car into a drive-through burger place he hates but knows we all like
>drive 40 minutes back in silence

>>14998341
are you still 17? no one cares about your dick size

>>14997614
>not paying cash
Deserved it.

>>14997618
>i'm 5'4
lol

>>14998463
Women do. You can work around a smaller size, but there will always be that shadow of disappointment in the corner of her mind.

>>14996818
Imagine it but she is actually a trap with a dick and every time he farts cum out his ass he gets an erection which threatens to tear apart the fragile pair of panties he has stuffed his package into. Ashamed while simultaneously aroused, he desperately attempts to hold in every fart, aware that if the fine fabric of his panties breaks his erect member will be exposed through his skirt and to the waiting customers.

>>14998495
No. Women don't. Only homosexuals care about dick size.

>>14998506
Only bottoms. Tops care about tightness. Not too dissimilar to a hetero relationship in that respect.

>>14998515
No. It's not. No one cares about your dick.

>>14998528
I know no one cares about MY dick. But in general.

>>14998532
No. Not in general either. No one cares.

Once I was brought a glass that had lipstick on it.

>>14998540
I-Indirect kissu?

>>14998538
Women say that to make you feel better. It isn't actually true.

>>14998553
Unless you have a deformity or dysfunction, they don't care.

/ck/ really is the unfunniest board on 4chan.
Must be all the women and homosexuals.

>>14998565
Thanks for contributing your valuable opinion. Which one are you, a female or a fag?

>>14998506
Cope

>>14998569
Struck an ovary, huh?
Just pretend it was jamal and schlick yourself retarded

>>14998580
Naw man, that was just one of the most lame and retarded things I've ever seen anyone take the time to type out and post. It's almost as bad as replying with "Cope" or "Seethe" or "Dilate"

>>14998273
Well, they wouldn't have to put up with that if they finally took someone up on the offer. Stupid cunts.

>>14997685
Pretty much. A long time ago, I got the number of someone who worked at a Taco Bell drive thru I went to with friends a lot. We actually connected, had a lot in common and hung out a few times. Turned out she had a boyfriend and was in a long distance relationship and she was just looking for male attention which ended things pretty quickly. In my experience front of house types are already taken or banging one of the cooks. It's a waste of time.

>>14998456
What a shitty family.

>>14998456
You all sound insufferable to be around holy shit. Your dad clearly failed in keeping his family in line.

>>14997618
Don't do what >>14997884 said, it's stupid. Just keep trying to meet young girls and try to build a relationship.

>>14998557
i have a micropenis that's why i don't care about sex i jut want a gf

>>14996757
>come to a restaurant
>other table is children
truly horrific experience

>be kid
>grandpa is visiting
>dad decides to take the family to denny's
>arrive at the parking lot
>see group of black people yelling and fighting in the parking lot
>dad takes us to ihop instead

>>14997614
do you understand how much of your greentext rhymed and flowed wtf

>>14998506
If it doesn't hurt a tiny bit when you go balls deep it's to small for her, you want her to go oww when you really push it in all the way
If it hurts before you go balls deep you are to big

>>14997039
>dad's food tastes off
>dad builds an army to destroy the chef's life
You better stop calling him dad and start calling him Chad. In a past life he was a conqueror.

>>14998331
That was a shitty Twilight Zone episode.

>>14997039
Based dad

>>14997039
Based dad leading a restaurant revolt

>>14997174
>Thinking anyone could be attracted to some lard ass who drinks multiple milkshakes in a single day

>>14998896
BASED DAD

>>14998916
what did he mean by this?

>>14998331
Imagine being the retard who goes to a restaurant with your dog, demanding the kitchen watch after them even though animals in the kitchen is a health code violation. I know this is a low-quality urban legend but that part of the story always drives me up the fucking wall

>>14996847
>she's actually a girl

why am I no longer turned on? what the hell is wrong with me?

>>14997039
your dad should be an austrian born dictator

>>14999899
at least you almost got some sick digits, ya cunt

>>14999911
I don't get it, what is the point of digits?

>>14997614
chargeback their asses.

>>14999939
unrepentant, unrelenting shitposting

>>14997039
>By the time the manager gets out Dad has recruited a gang of people
based

"Her"

>go to B.J.'s
>wait 5 hours for a meal
>get sick from eating their shrimp
I guess I get what I expected from a place called B.J's

>>14996757
>be me
>14
>in an orchestra
>my 2nd chair is a 16 year old latina
>looks like jessica alba
>gets my lil' dick hard every time i see her
>too big of a sperg to do anything
>my dad notices this
>he's in the orchestra too
>talks to her parents
>sets up a date for us
>we go to fucking grinder's at like 8pm
>i'm shitting myself
>she's so bored and i know it
>waitress is staring at us from behind the counter on the phone
>hasn't taken our order
>try to talk about anything and she just doesn't care
>waitress finally shows up
>we order
>the waitress stares at me for a second to long glaring
>she leaves
>sit in near silence until the food gets back
>my order is fucked hers is fine
>tell the waitress this isn't what i ordered
>she takes the plate smiling but it wasn't a nice smile
>get my food
>its cold and taste awful
>open my pancakes
>theres a fucking bug in it
>spit it out on the date
>she says wtf and calls her dad
>he comes to pick her up she won't listen to anything i say but he does
>ask the waitress what was going on
>turns out she's the older sister of a guy i beat up
>he bullied me until i learned how to box and i broke his nose
>she said him and her cousins were on the way
>hear tires screeching
>my dates dad leaves me there not his problem
>run out the back
>my brother lives near there
>hide at his place crying
there was a hostage situation like a week later and she died.

>>14998588
Well, a ching chong nip nong to you too young "lady". Cope, seethe and dial8. Remember the 43%. Etc.

>>15000334
Who died? The cute latina or the waitress?

>>15000334
>there was a hostage situation like a week later and she died.
Fucking based AF. Rude people dying early and/or ignominious deaths always makes me go semi-chub.

>>15000349
the waitress

>>15000361
Kek

>>14997174
Creepy guy

>>15000334
Cunny
She deserved

>>15000349
Idiota, la mesera.

>>14999988
Checked

>>14997618
>is it over for me bros?
>5'4''
It never even began for you

>>14997223
have you never looked under a table before?

it's a gum and booger fest.

>>14997039
based shitstirring boomer
would applaud and encourage

>>15000425
In english, doc

>>14996818
>just as a joke though
Lost hard

>>14997618
seek spiritual liberation by beginning semen retention right now
It will be extremely painful as you experience your traumas and past embarrassments in full force but it’s rhe Aryan way
Do not take the advice of anyone else here, it’s all half measures
After you’ve essentially become dead you’re ready for life
:3

>>14997884
DO NOT take this advice unless you’re ready to be a mundane
Save ur virginity stay pure >>14997618

>>14997618
>i'm 5'4
>is it over for me bros?
it was never on to begin with lmao

>>14996757
i have her nudes. dm me if you want them

>>14998456
Did you grow up in the 60s or something? Fucking christ your family sounds dysfunctional

>>14998456
It’s your dad’s fault, essentially. Don’t worry anon, I have a similar family. Your dad was probably in too much pain to be aware and awake enough to realize achieving a harmonious family is as simple as being calm and fair

>>14998651
>>14998658
>>15000798

This is why ppl with dysfunctional narcissistic trait parents eventually learn to stop looking for support
Clearly anon knows his family is dysfunctional
You’re like the idiots who say “that sucks” to a friend telling you something bad that happened just looking for emotional support

>go to Burger King
>ask for a spicy cheesy bacon chicken while they were doing the promo
>check sandwich in drive through, it's a regular spicy chicken sandwich
>go inside
>ask them to make me another one because it's wrong
>get sandwich
>start walking out
>check sandwich
>it's wrong
>turn around
>ask the guy to make me another sandwich because it's wrong again
>get sandwich
>start walking out
>check sandwich
>it's wrong again
>turn around
>ask the guy to make me another sandwich because it's wrong again
>notice they have Surge on the freestyle machines, make a not to try it
>never do

>>14997618
>5 foot
>posts frogs
>posts greentext stories about his life
>seeks advice on 4chan
Yes its over faggot

>>14996757
Not really horror but pretty iritating
>me and some buddies in college were at lowes all morning buying stuff for school
>there's a BIG BOY next door so we walk over to get some lunch
>greeter seats us
>we sit at our table for almost 20 minutes
>nobody comes to wait on our table
>eventually we leave, greeter and manager say "thanks for coming come back soon"
> my friend friend says "WE DIDNT GET OUR FUCKING FOOD" and walks out
>we never went back again

>>14997039
As soon as you can, you must take your father to a Gordon Ramsey restaurant, making sure it is during a time when Gordon Ramsey is on the premises and hopefully doing some actual cooking.

Most importantly, do not forgot to film your visit.

>>14997618
Pro tip, not many people want to get picked up while they're working, unless you're uber chad.
However, she may have gotten flustered because zoomers only use tinder these days

>>14998026
>>14998187
i dont know where you're from but in canada it's illegal to serve rare burgers

>>14996757
nice tranny

>spend all morning and afternoon doing some bullshit seminar, get an hour break
>walk to the popeyes in the ghettoest part of the city
>go inside
>gigantic line
>air conditioner vent on the ceiling dripping constantly into this pooling liquid on the floor
>smells like dirty sweat and hotter than hell
>see a cockroach scurry across the floor
>so fuckin hungry at the time I don't care
>order tendies basket
>get sick the next day

>>15001130
I'm in Indiana and we serve rare burgers when the customer wants it, no more than once a week. medium rare are really popular though

>>14997618
oof

>>15000812
do you think were fucking social workers m8?

>>14997884
do not listen to this poster

>>15000865
You got a friend named friend?

>>15001623
No he's just a skaven

>>14998456
Fuck, my mother would do the exact same shit. She'd be like "I don't mind" but if we didn't do exactly what she wanted she'd make everyone's lives miserable for weeks. And this started happening when I was six. Imagine not making your child lunch or dinner for weeks and forbidding your husband from doing the same (luckily he didn't, because he's not a psycho) because your child said he would like to go to KFC and not burger king. I'm not in fucking charge of where we go, you are.

And then she wonders why I don't want to talk to her

>>15001623
yeah i know him too hes my friends friend friend

>>15001652
I love games but I can’t get into /tg/, any hints?

>>14996757
I got a good one
>walk into a restaurant after the dinner rush but way before close
>hostess is talking to the bartender
>one of them glances at me and keeps talking to the other
>neither one of them even make any effort to acknowledge me
>leave after 30 seconds of waiting to be seated
>walk across the street and give my hard earned money to people that work and leave a nice tip

>>15001808
>>leave after 30 seconds of waiting to be seated
Fuck waiting just find your own table that doesn't have any reserved signs on it

>>15001871
not them but if they saw you and ignored you fuck them I wouldn't want to eat there either

>>15000338
Based

>>14996781
don't talk about jazz jennings like that

>>14997174
>fat nigger got dunked on
based roastie

>>14998504
> He doesn't keep his trap in chastity
NGMI

>>14997618
The average height of a Roman soldier was 5'4". Think about what those little Italian dudes did and you can conquer at least one mound of poon Anon.

>>14996779

>>14997188
audibly kekked

>try out a junk food place i don't frequent but everyone tells me it's great
>the entire establishment is like 3 square feet
>order hot dogs with fries since you'd have to be quite literally retarded to mess it up
>fries are huge but soggy as all fuck
>hot dogs are barely heated
>ask for some sauce but they ran out of olive mayo so i conform with golf
>the sauce is freezing
>it also tastes like fucking yogurt
>throw it away after eating a single "spoonful"
>friends pretty much confirm later that the unstated purpose of that joint is to make food for drunk people
At least it was two dollars.

not really a horror story

>Mother's Day 2015
>me, older brother, & mom at the hospital to see grandma (she passed a week later)
>we all end up going to Denny's a bit later
>me & brother get there before mom
>dudes outside practicing riding motorcycles, since it's a big parking lot across from a mall
>we go inside for the booth
>I see dude riding his motorcycle headed towards a window across the Denny's and not slowing down
>dude ends up crashing into ledge and was pretty close to flipping into the restaurant window
>me and older brother run outside to see if the guy was ok

>>15002669
Did you and your brother give him emergency mouth to cock?

>chop leek wrong
>chef fires me on the spot
:(

>>15002747
People just tolerate you for lack of better options.

>>15002797
I think you meant to find the prep cook horror story thread

>door to door solar sales job
>end up in bumfuck nowhere Tennessee
>random burger diner
>be Asian/not white
>being polite, ordering food
>racist sister fuckers start some shit
>see cook spit in my burger
>just got up and walked away, settled for some Wendy’s instead

>>15002917
But it's restaurant related?

>>15001803
Don’t

>>15002944
it's always a horror story when your whole job is kitchen bitch

>>14996818
kamoshida?

>>14997039
Your dad is everything i aspire to be...except he has a kid apparently.

>>14996757
cute waitress lol.
abella danger

>>14996757
I don't go to bad restaurants, nor do I ever receive poor service. Is this idea of a "horror story" an American phenomenon?

>>15002802
Is that a "yes"? Or did you try the "mouth to asshole, hand to cock" technique? It's very unconventional but always gets results ;)

>>15000334
Why didn't you complain to the manager to get her fired?

>>14997039
this went from cringe to hilarious real fast
your dad is based

>>14997039
This could be a Seinfeld episode.

>be me when i was in college
>me and my friends would always go to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the UFC pay per views
>one night arrive as usual
>pretty busy like all UFC nights
>get seated
>"someone will be right with you"
>waitress comes
>it's my TA from one of the elective classes I'm currently taking
>literally 11/10 blonde turbo stacy that i've had a crush on from the moment i saw her
>try to keep it cool the rest of the night
>fast forward to us getting ready to leave
>leave a big tip
>as we're walking out she calls out "bye anon!"
>"hey guys, give me just a sec, I gotta talk to <TA>"
>walk up to her as she's clearing our table off
>"hey <TA>, what do you say you and me go out sometime, maybe grab a coffee or catch a movie?"
>"uhmm.......m-maybe?"
>get the hint
>"oh... ok. good night then"
>powerwalk out of there

at least she had the courtesy to send me a facebook message later and apologize for the awkwardness and explain that she's already seeing somebody etc etc. i knew it was a lie because none of her social media ever even mentioned anything about any boyfriends/dates/guys in general but i guess it was nice of her to try and spare my feelings.

i still cringe about that night

>>14998565
Well, I think these are quite amusing stories to read.

>>15000812
Why the fuck would I give some retard on the internet emotional support about some argument his cunt of a family had over a decade ago?

>>15002934
it sounds like you are a total bitch...at least be man enough to eat spit

>>15001808
>staff looks at me
>visibly make it clear they think im a loser and a faggot and don't want anything to do with me
>I'll show them
>leave like a bitch to the place next door
>spend extra money on their staff as though anyone gives a shit
you a pussy and retarded dude

>>15002934
>not into spit and humiliation
are you even asian ?

>>15003894
seethe harder, little bitch

>>15003554
Could've been worse, anon

>>14997174
You just weren't attractive enough.

>>14997685
Yeah I used to work in the service ind, really didnt like it when people asked me out at work. Im already angry that I have to be there and dont want to deal with other peoples feelings more than I already have to

>>15003554
You didn’t make a retard out of yourself,well done. Kudos for shooting your shot

>>15004015
Please post tits

>walk into restaurant
>it's full of black people
>realize I'm on the wrong side of town
>try to leave
>a giant crowd (or gang, you could say) of black people comes in the door I'm trying to go out of
>AY YO COOL IT WHYBOI WE TRYNA FINNA FIXIN TO ROLL ON THRU YA FEEL WORD
>start to inhale some of the weed smoke coming from all around me
>world starts spinning
>start to black out
>turns out I'm not blacking out, it's just all the dark skin around me
>finally escape out to the parking lot
>DAYUM WHITEY YOU LOOKIN KINDA PALE HAHAHAHAHA
>s-sorry scuse me
>HE CUTE
Now I know what people mean when they say they need a planet cleanser

>>15004135
That's rude anon

>>15001130

This happened in NJ.

One
>watching football with friends
>they have a $3 pint of cider on special
>friend orders cider and gets a 23 oz
>doesnt say anything proceeds to get 3 or 4 more
>gets really angry when he gets his bill
>manager doesnt have any of it which was good because he was just yelling

Another
>go to applebees for $1 drinks
>waiter comes after 20 min and says they're not the waiter but can take our drink order because our waitress is "having a breakdown"
>20 minutes later no drinks
>we leave and see waitress walking towards table
>she probably had another breakdown

O

Not too much of a horror story but just annoying on multiple levels

>Novelty burger joint opens up in town
>It's the only location within like 300 miles
>Everyone is losing their shit because of that
>Had them once while traveling and wasn't impressed
>Definitely better places that are less busy
>But friends still want to go because it's the new thing
>They convince me to go with them
>We arrive and get told it's a 2 hour wait
>Friends really want to eat there so we wait
>Takes nearly 3 hours to get in
>Get sat at the table closest to the kitchen which is fine
>Waiters and waitresses are obviously exhausted
>Service is extremely slow - which is to be expected
>Not a biggie
>Just as our food finally arrives...
>Guy in the table next to us jumps up to leave right as a waitress coming out of the kitchen
>She's carrying a full pitcher of ice water
>Spills it all over me
>The whole pitcher
>I'm entirely drenched
>Neither the guy who jumped up and caused the accident - nor the waitress - apologized or seemed to care
>Had to run next door to Target to get new clothes because friends obviously didn't want to leave
>Friends waited for me at least but now all the food is cold
>Restaurant refuses to recook all our food since we've already been "here too long"
>Manager finally comes over
>Says he can't comp our meal because "lol at least you got your food"
>Comps mine though since I had water spilled on me
>We never go back
>Place closes within 6 months

>>15004244
Pretty please?

>>14997600
You forgot
>looks around for you after he's paid his bill

>>15003554
>i still cringe about that night
You still did it though my nigga, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and it's better to be shot down than thinking about what could have happened.

>>15000338
"Hello, based department?"

>>15004590
No it isn't. I do not regret the times I have employed tact, but I do regret the times I've made women feel uncomfortable.

>>15004265
You flyovers really are something else kek

>>15003894
>get treated like shit
>pay the people who treated you like shit
Yeah nah you're a faggot, the other anon unlike you has some self-respect

>>15003269
No, it’s not. Cringe and blocked.

>>15003554
What’s there to cringe about
You tried and she said no
A thousand years ago you woulda dragged her by the hair to your horse and galloped across the glorious steppe to your yurt and impregnated her
You did the best u could given the society around u

>>15003554
Also ps I wouldn’t have tipped her well anyways

>>15004265
That’s what you get for not stickin to ur guns
Next time tell your “friends” to sod off

>>15003554
No bro you've been a gentleman, maybe you should've tried harder probably, maybe show more confidence, but what do I know? I never dated and am not that confident myself, so yeah, you did a lot more than many anons can say

>>15003554
> i knew it was a lie because none of her social media ever even mentioned anything about any boyfriends/dates/guys in general
most people dont post things about that idiot

>>14998273
>It's not cute or funny to them
It's heckin' cute and valid though.

>>15004810
I do, but it's all lies so my parents don't know I'm a kissless dateless handholdless virtue.

>>15004626
>but I do regret the times I've made women feel uncomfortable
Alright fair enough, I cant really argue that. At the end of the day though you cant think too much about your regrets because it'll just bring you down. With your situation you shouldn't because really it's fuck all compared to something like stealing or fucking someone over.
>I do not regret the times I have employed tact
You shouldn't, that's on them I think but everyone feels uncomfortable in those situations, even if you don't know it. Are you autistic? Serious question, I don't mean offence. Also how did she know your facebook? I guess you know her to some extent or I fucked up reading.

>>15003088
Yeah her butthole is really nice

>>14997039
based bored psychopath

>>14996757
>be me on vacation
>just stop at ihop just for a quick bite
>ask for club sandwich,
>ftw no club sandwich
> i ask waitress if they have a BLT "yes", do you have turkey"yes"
>can you put some turkey on a BLT "yes"
>mfw when it arrives and it's so poorly put together it's basically a salad and impossible to pick up

>>15005162
Your face is furniture anon.

Not horror but was recent

Got a dish called the Black Mac from a Gastro Pub. In this cases it was supposed to be a Blacked Spiced Chicken Breast on top of Cajun Mac n Cheese

Took 30 minutes in a dead bar to get. Breast was only seasoned with Salt/Pepper with no hard sear.
Mac was just a white sauce mixed in a bit of Pre shredded cheddar, and had pre shredded cheddar around the edge of the plate like garnish.

Was fucking embarrassing to see it and I didn’t finish it. Waste of $15

>>15005172
You could have always got a refund you charlie

>>15005162

>>15005171
here>>15005268

>summer wagie job as a waiter
>kind of a slow day but the lunch "rush" begins and i get a few tables seated
>dumb boomer career waitress comes bursting out of the kitchen yelling
>says one of the cooks cut his had and there is "blood everywhere"
>goes into graphic detail describing the blood
>all patrons abruptly leave

>>14998026
You can't server ground meat rare by law

>>14997039
Is this your dad?

>>15005413
Sure thing chud

>>14997174
>A few milkshakes
Already off to a bad start tubby

>>15005441
still not catching on

I sucked my superiors dick (ha ha) for a raise, two months ago. Havent seen it yet on my paycheck. What do?

>>14997174
>what about me you and some kids and a house and I winked
Good God, anon. Please tell me you didn't

>>15005540
Do a better job next time, film it, and show it to his wife

>>15000000
Who got the funny numbers?

>>15004240
what a little fucking bitch

>>15004240
>Can't handle the bantz
Why are you such a pussy anon?
You know what I do when blacks give me the business like that?
Give it right back.
"AYO SENPAI WHATCHU DOIN IN DA BLACK PART OF TOWN!?"
"Gettin me some of that dank bud."
"OH HELL YEAH WHITEY KNOWS WHAT'S UP!! HAHAHAH!!"

You can go anywhere in the world as long as you how to imitate or mimic the culture dude.
Listen to some real rap and watch BET every now and again and you will be able to go to the worst black neighborhood at 3 in the morning and be completely fine.

>>15004240
that never happened

>2017
>i was vegetarian
>go to burger king with my friend after school
>she says they have a vegetarian option
>ok then
>she orders her normal burger
>i order the Veggie Burger™
>cashier looks at me like i'm a criminal
>he yells ONE VEGGIE at the top of his lungs
>everyone in the kitchen starts repeating "one veggie" to each other
>they all lost their shit
>cashier tells me to wait on the other side of the line
>wait
>my friend gets her burger
>still waiting
>my friend finishes her burger
>still waiting
>they call my name literally one hour later
>get my fucking burger and sit next to my friend
>she looks bored as fuck watching me eat
>it tasted like shit
>go home
>wake up in the middle of the night and vomit everything

thank god i'm not vegetarian anymore

>>15005618
they probably had to dig it out of the back of the freezer and thaw that shit out

>>14998366
you're thinking of the baskin robbins oreo shake

>>14996757

My idea of personal heaven. Every single shit she takes for the rest of her life goes directly from her anus to my mouth. My lips puckered around her slightly stained adorable little butthole patiently awaiting the treat to issue forth and slide into my mouth. The first couple appetizers are just farts that echo in my mouth and come out my nose which serve just to tease me. The moment then arrives and the first hint of my delectable treat slowly emerges with a nice shiny slime of fecal matter from her innermost bowels. It slides into my mouth and I cry tears of joy as it plays its delicious symphony across my taste buds. She giggles as it fully emerges and pushes down my throat and into my tummy. I have got my reward and while she wipes her fragile hole I lay back and weep in ecstasy. She leads me to my cage where I patiently await my next treat. Please eat and become full I whisper, I need my treats.

>>15000425
dios mío

>>14997174

>>14998590

Yes they would? Idiot

>>15000865
>not just flagging down a server or getting up and asking someone to take your order, at which point they would probably apologize for the inconvenience

was it autism?

>Be prepcook at restaurant
>I'm slow as shit so I only do entrees
>we make shitloads of em before rush hour
>Whatevers left over we just eat ourselves or give to the poor fucks doing dishes
>got some leftover grilled chicken on sourdough, bring them to this dishdogs
>one of em asks 'how am I supposed to eat this'
>I cant comprehend so eat I eat the entire plate in front of him without breaking eye contant
>'thats how'
>leave

>>15005602
>Listen to some real rap and watch BET every now and again and you will be able to go to the worst black neighborhood at 3 in the morning and be completely fine

Why the FUCK would anyone want to do any of that

not terrible but happened today
>go to highly rated "sushi" restaurant nearby
>no nigiri, only rolls
>whatever, order bento box and green tea
>tea comes in a can
sad!

Cafe close at 9 pm. Clean up. One of the toilets have a shit, ball sized 20 cm . I refuse to deal with it and leave it till next shift.

>take parents out for their anniversary
>parents dont dress up, whatever, theyre retired
>waitress takes her time getting to us
>food was fine, parents want to leave so i put my credit card on the table
>waitress suddenly starts ignoring us
>doesn't respond when i try and flag her down
>parents are worried that we did something wrong
>go to hostess stand and get hostess to bring bill and machine
>tip 50 cents 140 bill but lie to my parents because i dont want to ruin their anniversary

>>15006355
Why tip? Retarded

>>15006287
Nuke them

>>15005734
At least it has vitamins and calcium lol
But what the fuck is up with all that sodium?

>>15001130
No, it's not.
If the health inspector is satisfied with the facility/ingredients/methods then they can give the OK for an establishment to serve burgers that are not well done.
I have had medium rare burgers at several restaurants.

>>15003292
Then she wouldn't have died in the hostage situation, I mean come on man.

>>14997028
And Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature

>Working at Mexican restaurant in high volume tourist town
>Be me
>Be 19
>No windows in the kitchen with 3 ovens and a 10 foot steam table
>Rush lasts from 6-9 every day in the summer
>Cut the tip of my thumb off 2 weeks ago, still healing
>Orders coming in
>Waitresses crying
>Haven't had a drink of water in 2 hours
>100+ degrees
>Bright lights in my eyes
>Sweat pooling in the fingertips of my gloves
>Whole body soaking wet
>Feels like I shit my pants but I don't think I did
>Look up at the electronic expediting system in a daze and it reads 120 dishes on the board
>Black out after that
>Wake up the next day feeling like a dried banana peel
Picture is related

>>15002641
>I conform it with golf
wut

>>14996757
Once we had to clean up after a grease trap congealed and burst like a giant stale grease zit.

>>15006606
You need to be strong senpai, also that cut is fuck all

>>15006760
This was six years ago, since then I've had multiple lead positions, now I'm a sous chef
I really wish it had gone all the way though, the pain was not worth the scar kek.

>>15004240
>start to black out
>turns out I'm not blacking out, it's just all the dark skin around me
Kek

>>15006127
Based

>>15000796
sent
:^)

>be in Taipei, Taiwan
>go to the Brass Monkey for dinner one night
>bite into my hamburger
>it's fucking raw
>they served me a "rare hamburger"
>because that was a thing in the West
>but these fucking monkeys don't understand
>the restaurants that do that in the U.S. use sanitary methods to prepare it
>solid slab of meat
>flash fry the outsides to kill bacteria
>immediately grind it and then immediately serve it
>they don't take some random chunk of pre-ground meat that's been festering for a week
>and then shove it down their customers' gullets
>yell at waitress
>she sends it back and cooks the fucking thing
>next two days
>my intestines feel like I ate a giant bag of coarse-ground glass fragments
>shitting gritty liquid
>agonizing pain
>hospital tells me don't take antibiotics under any circumstances
>because if all the bacteria die at once, they all release toxins at once
>could result in kidney failure and death
>I only ate one bite of that garbage burger
>that's all it took

>be in Taipei, Taiwan
>go to a well-known Thai-themed brewpub
>waiter starts to serve some rice onto my plate
>rice starts to move, cockroach hiding inside it crawls out
>he takes all the rice back to the kitchen and claims he threw it out

>go to NM for birdwatching with my brudder and mudder
>the woman at the B&B recommends a restaurant to us for our lunch the next day
>we sit down, order
>they both get taco salad bowls
>I get a hamburger
>halfway through eating
>mom finds a giant dead cockroach cooked in the ground beef
>much nauseating occurs
>especially when they realize all the meat in both of their taco salads was cooked in one batch
>so my brudder also got some cockroach juices in his
>at least the restaurant didn't charge.

>>15000865
I have the exact same story except we didn't go to a Lowe's and instead of you it happened to me

>>15002641
>so i conform with golf
nigga you what

>>15006127
lost hard, holy fuck.

>>15006127
>Yfw

>>15004240
>>start to black out
>>turns out I'm not blacking out, it's just all the dark skin around me
underrated

>>15004810
This, gf and I have nothing about one another in social media

>>15007134
Uh, anon...

>>14997039
Why are Americans like this? Genuine question.

>>14998456
my family is the same way, especially my faggot brother (actually gay) and mother. specific foods and chains make them physically sick, it's hilarious how weak their immune system is. me and my dad usually never care where we go and end up okay

>>15000334
>there was a hostage situation like a week later and she died.
I had a similar thing happen but it was my best friend's ex girlfriend. She was such a bitch. She deserved it. I was so happy when I heard about her death. Fuck moralfaggots, good for you bro.

>>15006408
A 50c tip says more than zero tip.

>>15007292
based sociopath

Alrighty, I got one boyos.

>Be me
>Be like 8 or some shit
>We go to Olgas (It's a restaurant chain in Michigan)
>My whole family goes, all 4 of us
>It's a bit rushed but it'll make do
>We order our shit but obviously it's taking a while because rush
>It's taking a bit longer but we start to notice that *everybody* is getting their food besides us
>My dad is visibly pissed and reasonably so
>My dad is bitching at the waiter to speak to the manager
>My dad never does this
>He's seething
>Manager comes out
>My dad is making an ass out of himself but who gives a flying fuck because we're literally hungry as almighty fuck
>We finally get our food after like an hour and thirty minute wait
>It's cold
>We leave
>Tfw Olgas will most likely face bankruptcy in the coming years

>>14996757
if I am attracted to her, am I attracted to women that sort of look like men ?

>>15008007
Her features are primarily feminine, it's just the jaw that's mannish. 4chan is extremely bad at perceiving what women actually look like.

>>15007310
i got served raw chicken at a place across the street from the seattle westin. bitch waiter scurried off and had the manager deal with me. left a penny under the water glass.

>>15005616
it's a nice larp though. probably happened in minecraft

>>15005616
>>15008119

>>14999899
im sorry anon

>>15006465
>let me just make some shit up because i was too stupid to access the publicly available health code even though its one of the most commonly googled articles
Yes it is you fucking ape, no health inspector is giving their "OK" you dipshit.
https://www.inspection.gc.ca/food-label-requirements/labelling/industry/meat-and-poultry-products/eng/1393979114983/1393979162475?chap=0
https://www.ontario.ca/laws/regulation/r04074
https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/general-food-safety-tips/safe-internal-cooking-temperatures.html
http://www.health.gov.on.ca/en/public/programs/publichealth/foodsafety/cook.aspx
https://www.toronto.ca/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/9953-Food_Handlers_training_manual.pdf

>>14997174
she probably thought u were messing with her and was tired from her shift so she decided to just not engage

>>15004801
>maybe you should've tried harder probably
>I never dated and am not that confident

I can tell

>>15004810
It's likely a lie since she didnt say that immediately
Most girls, if they have the out of already having a boyfriend, will use it immediately

>>15004265
Yknow you can just leave without paying in these circumstances right?

Fuck are they gonna do, call the cops over $40 from people they drenched?

>>14996757
>No female staff
>Male staff gets forced to work their positions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oApdGu6zEo

>>15007134
>she keeps it secret from family and friends
Lad, I...

>>14998456
i hate my mom too.
she would always bitch about us not taking her out.
but if we did shed bitch that were spending money when we could just eat at home.
she would also refuse to even LOOK at the wait staff much less talk to them personaly.
then shed complain about the food

>>14997174
Autism

>>15000334
>there was a hostage situation like a week later and she died.
is this your way of telling us you murdered her in cold blood a week later?

>>15007280
Everyone here came from other places, across a vast ocean and often with nothing waiting for them but exhilarating and animating contest of FREEDOM when they arrive. Essentially we brain drained all your chads, like what we do with your best and brightest now. Those who can, will. Those who wont, stay home.

The game don't stop 'cause your timid or nervous.

>>15004240
gave me a good kek anon thank you

>>14998456
The fuck. White parents actually pay that much mind to what their kids want for dinner?

>>15000338
This joke is getting old, but still based.

>>15008365
Its not fair my white friends know who their parents are and even the ones on food stamps don't sell them for crack

>>15008293
your dad did not come from the other side of the world retard

>>15005602
>Listen to some real rap and watch BET every now and again
No, I don't think I'll be doing any of that Goldstein.

>out getting drunk on my gay aunt's dime for birthday
>love my gay aunt and her gay girlfriend
>they buy me a new game station or computer every christmas since I was ten
>her girlfriend is a former linecook
>we're out at some gay restaurant/bar they know
>her girlfriend used to work there
>order a steak rare cause fuck it they have it on the menu and it's my bday
>aunt says they'll probably fuck it up
>goes into the whole drama of how management has changed its less of a restaurant more of a dragshow dive bar now
>steak comes out like shit
>drunk line cook girlfriend of aunt is upset
>goes back there to the kitchen
>yells and talks shit to some cooks
>stays back there for some 20 minutes
>comes out with a rare steak with mushrooms and shrimp on top and also chili chz tots for some reason
>aunt asks her what she did
>they yelled for her to make it herself so she did but also helped a guy out with a few tickets
>bartender comes over, gives us shots, talks shit about the restaurant with them
>some black cook comes out, hugs lesbian aunt's, takes shots with them, bitches about other cooks

Apparently there was only one cook and there's supposed to be four normally. The stories they told of that restaurant sounded insanely neglegent of whoever owns it.

>>15003554
no reason to cringe, you got shot down but it happens, just keep at it

>>15008398
cringe and made-up storypilled

>>15008398
and then albert einstein gave me $100 and everybody slow clapped

>>14998456
That’s why you get a reservation

>>15008265
Not really, I know her family and friends well, and vice versa. We are just camera shy and don't use social media often.

>>15001803
Slaven sometimes repeats words.
>We are at war-war, we will fight-kill no-furs.

Ate at chilis once and felt very uncomfortable around so many people.

>>15005413

By what law? Because in NJ, NY and MA, the states I spend most of my time in, I've never heard about such a law and that story was the only time I've ever had someone refuse to cook it rare.

>>15008414
>>15008399
Your right it was my gay greek uncles and the cook was white.

>>15006127
Dangerously based

>>15005602
>Listen to some real rap and watch BET every now and again and you will be able to go to the worst black neighborhood at 3 in the morning and be completely fine.
Not only is that not true but I'm now positive every black person you think in your head you've ever "vibed" with thinks you're a twinky little gay honky faggot who tries too hard trying to be hip

>>14996847
Oh wow. I was sure that was a bloke.

>>14997174
Nice dude

>go to a local diner near closing time
>sit in last booth with my back to restaurant
>waitress asks what I want
>what I want is not on the menu I say
>oh, like this she asks and lifts her skirt
>no panties, just trimmed bush and gorgeous beaver
>very nice I say
>go ahead and touch it she says
>start fingering her
>if you break it you bought it, she laughs
>she slides into booth next to me
>pulls my zipper down and drops a head bomb in my lap
>doesn't take long and I come with the force of 10,000 suns
>you want dessert she asks as she gets up
>no Sis, I say, Mom told me we aren't supposed to be late tonight
>just pick her up and bring her home, she said, no parties
>well, we won't have to tell her about our little party will we?
>not if you do it again in the car on the way home Sis
>have I ever let you down big brother?
>no, sis, you haven't
>we both have a good laugh as teenagers with a secret are apt to do

>>15009122
Not going to read this comment, just randomly selected it from the front page.

I am stronger and better than you in every possible way, but it doesn't really matter. I just wanted to say that you are inferior, and if you get upset with that fact, then your ego needs some adjusting.

>>14997618
>>14997685
It’s definitely possible. I managed to get a waitress’ number. She had a fat ass and was cute as hell. Benzos give extreme confidence, too bad I abuse it every time. The relationship never went anywhere. I started being weird due to the confidence and being fucked up 24/7. I had a wingman aswell. Thank you, Dylan. I know I can get another number considering I’m 2 for 2. Thanks for reading my blog
Based off my past two experiences, you have to be mildly flirty, make them laugh, and provide good conversation. I had this girl at the table about 5 times. She would come back a few times for no reason, just to talk. Texting blows, it’s never the same as in person, so try to avoid that

>>14997618
People who are working at their jobs are not marks for you to practice with, anon. They are being paid to be there and provide a service, it's very rude to put someone on the spot like that when they cannot leave.

>>14996757
She's def a woman, has a nice fat ass. One video of hers got me off HARD but I might have just been horny, all her other shit she just looks weird and Jewish.

>>15009126

bide your time, Anon

>>14997506
What kind of tie is that?

>>14997673
LOL wtf

>>14998456
You should test your house for lead.

>>15002641
ANSWER THE FUCKING GOLF QUESTIONS

It wasn't really the restaurant's fault but
>Going with grandparents to Friendly's
>When we get there there's a stray little cat sitting out at the front meowing for food
>Grandpa is a retired sergeant major, as in major hardass. Hates literally everything on this planet except his children, my dad, me (being his favorite grandchild)
>And now this particular cat
>He hobbles inside and asks to buy a bowl of milk to give the cat
>The hostess says sure but the manager steps in
>"Sir we can't feed the strays or they'll stay here, it's bad for business."
>bad for business
>Grandpa goes fucking nuclear, asking how he can say a poor little cat's life is "bad for business"
>Grabs menus from the hostess's podium and tosses them around, starts grabbing food off the trays passing servers are carrying and dumping it on the floor
>"OOPS, so clumsy! But I guess you'd better just toss it out huh? Can't give a little scrap to one fucking cat can you you heartless bastards?!"
>Manager goes to call the police, and in the chaos grandpa sees a glass of milk on a table, just fucking takes it from the kid it was for and goes outside
>Tries to give it to the cat, but all the yelling is spooking it and it doesn't want to drink
>Grandpa says fuck it, tells me to pick up the cat and we leave
And that was the story of how I adopted my first cat, Samwise.

>>15009514
Sorry I don't have time, call 1-800-GOLF-TIP for more info. Thanks

>>15009126
Based schizophrenic

>>15009608
Not schizo just alpha and don't have time to do anything but gloat. It's nothing personal, and like I said, if you feel offended instead of inspired, you have a massive, bleeding ego problem.

>>15009579
Strays should be killed on sight, though.

>>15009579
your grandpa is based

>>15009665
It's pernounced grampa

Go back to 4chan

>>15006827
>I have the exact same story except instead of you it happened to me
Yeah, you don't fucking say

>>15010016
say's something is real
that doesn't mean
they know what they are talking about

so if you're going to BLAME folks
for thinking
if everyone else said their are wrong

>>14996818
>just as a joke though.
beard is full of beer and spit and snot thanks fuck you

>>15005413

I’ve had raw beef in an Ethiopian restaurant in DC.

>>15006746
It’s basically the Argentine equivalent of what we call “fry sauce” here in the states, from what I’ve been told.

>>15008161
>everywhere is Canada

>go to dôme
>eat dôme food
Probably the worst thing thats happened to me at a restaurant.

>>15006606
This makes me want to start a battle scar thread for all the culinary assassins who have been to hell and back on the front lines

>>15009126
>>15009624
Huh?

>>14996757
bimp

>>15009624

the autism is strong with this one