/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14906853
$1000 worth of tiny gold balls I can fish out of my shit later.

>>14906853
I've already had it. I've eaten 10, $100 bills.

>>14906853
Who keeps the money I don't spend?

>>14906871
The weird Jewish food genie that set this situation up.

>>14906853
One order of fries from my local bar, and leave the rest as a tip for Jenny, who’s hours have been cut due to Covid. Hope you’re doing ok Jenny.

SIKE, like a 1k nip steak probably.

>>14906862
>going through your own shit for $1000 worth of gold

>>14906885
>Thinks I'm still capable of having solid shits
>Thinks I haven't been shitting straight liquid for years now
I think I'd be okay.

>>14906891
I'm pretty sure you will get heavy metal poisoning

>>14906853
1000dollaydoos,
Fuck this b's I'm going to feed my entire family to my cousin's and their kids for half that.

>>14906900
Gold doesn't dissolve in people.

>>14906876
I decline to participate.

>>14906876
>The weird Jewish food genie that set this situation up.
This
>>14906916
Okay faggot you just missed out on a great meal

NEXT

>>14906924
Good. Maybe someone else who is hungry will get a meal.

>>14906853
I would like to have pic related, please. Perhaps a small portion of peach cobbler with cream to finish the meal. I would also like to have a tall glass of unsweetened iced tea.

>>14906853
could spend $1k pretty easily with alcohol included. thinking a kobe steak w/ some fancy bourbons I haven't tried before (pappy or some bs) and a bottle of red. some cheesecake to finish the meal

>>14906916
the genie is actually hitler's ghost

>>14906862
Fpbp

I would do an all you can eat crab leg challenge along with whatever good beer. I bet I could get close to $1000 in one sitting

>>14906862
that isn't even an oz of gold. just swallow a gold coin in a tied unlubricated rubber condom.

>>14906935
So I made the right moral choice about not accepting strange gifts that I do not need.

>>14906853
3 course meal with alcool at a fancy restaurant in town with all my friends and familly. And I'm the one paying everything of course

>>14906931
Yeah, alcohol is included in this offer. If you want to spend two hours getting blasted on $1k worth of the finest liquor, go right ahead, that’s a meal with calories but it’s against the spirit of this offer.

>>14906853
Bone in wagyu A5 dry aged with 4 winter truffles, bite-sized potatoes sauteed in garlic herb bone butter and a bottle of red wine, Cabernet Franc. For dessert, a lemon or fruit tarte with a house beer.

Without tip it's $775. Leave the rest as a tip.

>Been to this steak house.

>>14906853
$1000 worth of tranny hooker cum

>>14906956
>$1k worth of the finest liquor
$1k won't even get you the finest liquors

>>14906957
See, now this is an answer.

>>14906853
Am I allowed to go to a restaurant? I'd go with Blue Hill at Stone Barns, and add some more wine on top of the normal wine

>>14906932
Prime rib sucks. No maillard

>>14906957
>not getting champagne
F

>>14906967
Yeah it’s totally fine to go to a restaurant for this meal. And the Jewish food genie (me) will cover an 18% gratuity and the sales tax so the $1,000 covers list price

>>14906981
you're making this thread worse by responding. check back tomorrow

>>14906901
>going to feed my entire family to my cousin

>>14906974
>having champagne with a steak
Even with desert it's wrong, just go to the club and drink your bubbly you poofta.

I'd order wild shit. A roasted ostrich. A roasted camel. Every possible seafood I could get my hands on. Might even order kangaroo. Alligator. You name it.

If all things are possible, I'd budget it out so that I could try one of everything I've always been curious to try.

>>14906971
You get what you want, that is what I want.

>>14906853
Prime dry aged steakhouse with their own butcher. Two 24 oz New York strips, Mac and cheese, asparagus, mashed potatoes, and a few 100 dollar bottles of wine. The remaining would go for tip

>>14907030
Is there a limit to what you would try, assuming the food had no chance of giving you a deadly pathogen that will leave you brain dead? GF thinks I am weird because I would try anything, human included.

>>14907030
camel

>>14907045
Human crossed my mind. Forbidden BBQ. Probably not, though. I can think of other things I'd prefer to spend the money on

>>14906853
Im going to Fazolis for sure.

>>14906853
can i just go to an expensive buffet?

>>14906958
You gotta figure they would charge at least $20 a load, maybe up to $100 since they have low functioning testes so it’s harder to come by (pun intended). So between 10 and 50 loads. At about one teaspoon a pop, accoring to google, that’s only like 1-2 cups of spunk. Not as much as you might think

>>14906885
I'd go through my own shit for $100 worth of gold
It's my own shit

>>14907054
Holy cow that's a lot of meat! I wonder what it taste like and what kind of recipes do people use it in

>>14906885
Yes, what are you, the queen of england, or a faggot? Thats 2 minutes of work with a medical glove and a faucet for 1000 dollars.

>>14907013
They were.. a little fatty

>>14906853
artisanal cocktails
swallow nest soup
blue find tuna nigiri
japanese a5 wagyu teppanyaki
fancy gold leaf chocolate cake dessert with feral cat poop coffee

>>14906935

>>14907062
>I can think of other things I'd prefer to spend the money on
For sure, I'd personally go to a steak house and get a delicious meal. They thought of exotic meat intrigues me even though I realize it's probably not that interesting if I actually try it. Had gator and squirrel before so I imagine most wetmarket stuff is very similar.

>>14907126
I honestly couldn't tell you, but for $1k, we can find out.

>>14906853
Seafood course:
- Beluga Caviar
- Seafood Cocktail with Colossal Shrimp, Lobster Claw, and Crab Legs
- Oysters on the half shell
- Sashimi: oto, chutoro, and toro
Salad course:
- Mixed Greens with a Balsamic Vinaigrette
Main Course:
- USDA Filet Mignon, medium
- USDA Prime Dry-Aged Prime Rib, medium rare
- Lobster Tail
- Sweet Corn on the Cob with Butter
- Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Dessert:
- Plain Cheesecake
- Cave-Aged Cheddar cheese
- Mixed fruit, strawberries, apples, and pears
Beverages:
- Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Select, served
- neat
- Old Fashioned
- Manhattan (good vermouth and Luxardo cherries)
- Mint Julep
- Whiskey Sour
- Irish Whiskey with Cream Liqueur
- Sparkling Mineral Water

If the portions weren’t too insane I could eat every bite I think.

>>14906853 (OP) #
Seafood course:
- Beluga Caviar
- Seafood Cocktail with Colossal Shrimp, Lobster Claw, and Crab Legs
- Oysters on the half shell
- Sashimi: oto, chutoro, and toro
Soup and Salad course:
- Mixed Greens with a Balsamic Vinaigrette
- Beef consommé
Main Course:
- USDA Filet Mignon, medium
- USDA Prime Dry-Aged Prime Rib, medium rare
- Lobster Tail
- Sweet Corn on the Cob with Butter
- Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Dessert:
- Plain Cheesecake
- Cave-Aged Cheddar cheese
- Mixed fruit, strawberries, apples, and pears
Beverages:
- Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Select, served
>neat
>Old Fashioned
>Manhattan (good vermouth and Luxardo cherries)
>Mint Julep
>Whiskey Sour
>Irish Whiskey with Cream Liqueur
- Sparkling Mineral Water

If the portions weren’t too insane I could eat every bite I think.

Sashimi off of a naked Japanese schoolgirl's ass.

>>14907299
The portions will be midget sized, that's the point they can charge you for a dozen course's at incredibly inflated prices rather than 3 that make you stuffed like a turkey.

>>14906853
The Variety Platter Super Sampler from LJS’s

Is it weird if I just want a fuck ton of lobster tails with butter? Just let me gorge myself on lobster until I can't eat another bite.

>>14907299
You a basic bitch

$5 cheeseburger, $995 to the single mom cutie behind the bar who needs the money to pay rent, and is looking for someone to support her 2 bastards....she’d be grateful

>>14907401
Not at all.

>>14906885
When I was a kid I can remember a tooth broke off out of my dad’s dentures he swallowed it as he was eating. He would shit in a ziplock bag and we would then use the hose to run it through a colander. Only took two loads if I remember correctly and we found his tooth. He soaked it in mouth wash and glued it right back in. Used those teeth for many more years until he got a new set.

>>14907401
I probably would too but I doubt I could eat more than maybe 6 of those.

>>14906853
I would use it to try all the expensive foods that seem like a meme
>kobe beef
>abalone
>real caviar
>those expensive crabs
>truffles
>etc
Expensive alcohol doesn't really do it for me, but I'd order some expensive drinks to pad out the value

>>14907440
And then you will shit on them because they are meme foods.

>>14907455
Yeah, but at least I won't need to spend my own money figuring that out

>>14907413
My food choices are “basic” because they are delicious. So stfu you filthy n

>>14906853
am I allowed to use some of these funds for the hooker I'd like to bring with me to the meal?

>>14906932
You don't need $1000 to have that meal

>>14907284
>>14907299
>Seafood course
8/10
>Salad course
basic/10
>Soup and Salad
>consomme`
that's not a soup that's an ingredient
>Main Course
>USDA
>Corn on the Cob
>Dessert
6/10 I enjoy cheescake but not after a hearty meal.
>Beverages
>whiskey
10
>beverages
9/10

>>14907429
Amazing

>>14906853
Go to my local steakhouse when they open for lunch, order one of everything, ask them to not start cooking the next dish until I am finished with the one on my table/ almost finished
Also, like $100+ worth of Bloody Marys, same situation, don't make them until I'm finished with the one on my table

Anything left over is a tip for the faggot who just watched me pig out for eight consecutive hours

>>14906853
pay my mom 975 to make her mac n cheese

>>14907030
Ausfag here. You know you can order kangaroo right now right? Kangaroos are a pest here like deer are in the US and the taste is kind of a similar gamey flavour

>>14907879
And $25 for?

>>14907429
a gripping tale with a satisfactory conclusion

I would just make a list of exotic foods from around the world that I would like to try until the $1k runs out, to satisfy curiosity. A bunch of weird asian fruits and whatever zany shit I can google. Of course I could do that right now but I'm not spending my own $1k on it

Can I buy a live cow or 2sheeps and after I've given them a few years to become pets, eat them?

>>14906853
Go to a sleazy strip club and get my dick sucked while feasting on greasy 50¢ wings and a warm draft beer.

I'm gonna get wagyu beef. I wanna see if the hype is real.

>>14907941
;)

>>14906853
$975 worth of caviar served out of Lindsey Lohan’s snatch. Shame I wouldn’t be able to keep the $5 change.

>>14908013
>wagyu
depending what shithole you live in you can get a good cut of beef shipped to you. wagyu is different from a5 kobe beef which you can also get sent to you LMOA.

>>14906957
>bone butter
Is that some kind of cream-of-sum-yung-gai joke?

>>14906900
>he didn't take middle school chemistry

>>14906853
Pass.
Not interested. I'd rather cook my own meal with my money.

>>14906853
2 burgers at Five Guys

>>14906853
easy

Can I eat endangered animals?

>>14908132
Did you win the lottery you can afford something like this even with the $1000?
>>14908148
Of course it's saltbae, I wish I could go to his restaurant with Khalid.

>>14906950
This sounds like a really good time

>>14908001
Pretty sure You can’t spend it on non food stuff dude

>>14908001
Getting your dick sucked is unfortunately not a meal

>>14908040
bone marrow butter i think

>>14906853
$1000 pussy

>>14906853
>and you can’t keep leftovers.
So I can but $1000 worth of cheeseburgers, eat one and give the rest away to homeless people?

>>14906885
We made the Jewish kid in elementary school swallow a penny once. So people have done it for less.

>>14908148
Are there any videos of him botching the knife throw?

>>14906932
Dinner at Lawry's is like $100/person not $1000

>>14906853
Sushi buffet. A good quality one, but doesn't have to be a fancy one. Or a sushi platter. Wouldn't be 1000, but I've been fortunate to try many expensive foods in my life and sushi is my favorite.

Five guys, might not have enough though.

>>14907114
I'd go through my own shit for $10 worth of gold

>>14906853
I buy all of the vegan bullshit a t a restaurant as soon as they open so they can’t serve any for the rest of the day. I have all of the vegan shit thrown away and don’t eat a single bite.

>>14906900
Gold is not a heavy metal. It’s a noble metal isn’t very reactive. Gold also doesn’t rust.

>>14906957
>paying 775 for a meal
Lmao. Words can’t describe the amount of shame I feel knowing suckers like you exist and directly fund scam restaurants like this.

>>14907415
You better get sex out of that. Couldn’t imagine tipping more than 10 dollars and NOT getting a blowjob from it.

>>14906853
thank fuck for corona-chan dom perignon is 350 a bottle
that being said wagyu in a caramel glaze

Endangered bluefin toro until I shart myself

>>14908590
also unlike that faggot anon above who said the a5 wagyu I decline to leave the tip even though I know the restaurant includes gratuity but I instead raise them my third member

Kobe beef and 4 bottles of expensive wine.

>>14907398
with some malt vinegar, you have good taste sir

>>14908148
that's about $0.75 cents worth of gold leaf
>goldschlager costs what like $18 a bottle?

>>14908375
kek

OP I have changed my mind
I want 8 dollar ny shrimp and chips platter x3
2L canada dry cream soda
2L albanian tropical fanta
2L cotton candy faygo
and the rest of the money in cough syrup actavis

>>14907577
>>14908431
I don't need to spend $1000 on a meal to be satisfied. If I had to spend more on the experience I would be just as happy with a plane ticket to eat pic related with my special someone at their Parent's house in Blackpool.

I'll get a platter with 100,000 pennies and eat then one by one so we can finally answer the question of how many pennies can a man eat in a row before he dies.

Probably some Japanese steakhouse for A5 Wagyu and a shit ton of sushi and tempura.

>>14906853
I would have Morimoto make me his best version of Japanese curry with Kurobuta pork and then shoot the shit with him over drinks.

>>14908697
Okay faggot

>>14908697
>long distance relationships

>>14908148
Fuck I hate this cunt so much, he's everything that's wrong with the internet.

>>14908760
ok ken

for me it is the mcchicken

>>14906853
Probably entrance to the highest quality buffet I could find.

>>14907114
It’s still shit

>>14906885
Imagine being scared of your own shit.

Jewish Reuben. Expensive, but you get a lot of food and you’ll finish all of it.

This thread is a good idea, opie. A refreshing break from the ten hellish years I've spent on /ck/, which have rapidly declined in the past six or so. Speaking of 10 years, I'd probably go someplace high-concept like Gaggan (before it closes) or whatever the new Alinea is.

the cheapest spaghetti ever.
fill a kiddy pool.
profit

>>14906862
this is such a small amount of gold lmfao

My grandfathers scrambled eggs ;_;

>>14909077
thanks my nigga

Two mcchickens.

>>14908697
She is getting BLACKED right now as we speak.

Probably a 26 courses dinner at a very expensive restaurant.

>>14906853
1k isnt enough for me to enjoy myself
That would likely work for a liquid lunch for starters

i'd go to that old sushi fuck's and dump hotsauce on everything