/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14821178

except in America

obesity is a mental illness

>>14821228
cope masslet

>>14821178
HOLY CRAP LOIS

>>14821178
You’re an orange fool

>>14821298
REMEMBER THAT TIME I WAS ON TOWNSENDS AND I HID THE NUTMEG

>>14821178
>be 1865
>riding to visit family in New Bumfuckwich
>fields empty and barren
>animal skellingtons everywhere, all picked clean
>town eerily quiet
>no one around
>ride up to family's hovel
>door ajar
>cautiously knock
>no answer
>push door open
>everything is a mess
>no people
>knock on other doors
>there's nobody
>shout
>no answer
>stand in town square confused
>hear, no feel thumping vibration
>see water trough nearby
>ohlawdhecomin.gif
>hear groaning roar
>turn to see gargantuan human thundering closer, squinting, beady eyes staring through tiny glasses, mouth agape, clutching what appears to be a human leg with bites taken out of it
>"aaaahhhmmm honnnnnngrrrrryyyyy"
>run to horse to GTFO
>meaty paw swings out of nowhere and knocks horse to the ground
>surprisinglyfast.exe
>try to run
>trip on cobbles
>"yooouuu loook taaassstyyyy"
>feel leg caught in iron grip
>drawn inexorably towards insatiable maw
>searing pain
>last sight before blackness descends is a horrifyingly familiar arm being stripped like a chicken wing

Fuck, that old timey life was rough.

god vore me

>>14821633
>skellingtons

>>14821178
For you

>>14821178
What a unit

>>14821178
>>14821848
Why are fat people so cute? :)

>>14821926
they look like oversized babies

>>14821178
para ti

>>14821228
>>14821298
>>14821633
>>14821926
>>14821946
>>14821949
What is ironic is he should be the poster boy for /ck/ he's all the things this place spooges about.

He loves whiskey, wine, and beer.
He loves food.
He loves to smoke.
He is your God.

>>14823619
you're stupid

>>14823670

>>14823676
you're actually stupid though, I'm not arguing with you just pointing it out

>>14823683
no, you're just butthurt because I am right.

90% of the guys in the whiskey, beer, wine, and smoke threads look like him, or will.

>>14823715
if you're going to pretend I'm lying why go an act all stupid again?

>>14823721
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say
in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions
on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather
kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

>>14823734
you say that when getting butt fucked by other stupid texans right?

>>14823744
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

>>14823746
please don't be so mad lots of people are stupid like you

>>1482375You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this
world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the
puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in
recognition of what they had done.9

>>1482376
uhm, I'll have what he's having! (stupid juice)

>>14823778
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as
you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought
of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are
vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of
this earth. And did I mention you smell?

>>14823784
>I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as
you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought
of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are
vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of
this earth. And did I mention you smell?

>>14823797
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to
impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will
still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more
rapidly.

>>14821178
I do not wish to hear what you got up to in the Navy, Mr. Pearson

>>14823799
>>14823797
>>14823784
>>14823778
>>14823763
>>14823759
>>14823746
>>14823744
>>14823734
>>14823721
>>14823715
>>14823683
>>14823676
>>14823670
>>14823619
have sex

>>14823877
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of
your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your
own trite, foolish beliefs.

>>14823877
never