/ck/ - Food & Cooking

You chad

>>14602641
Aardvark is crap compared to this

>>14602672
You obviously destroyed your taste buds with cigarette smoking. Nothing with that SHU rating is going to be anything but pain, no flavor. You truly deserve a wojak, I am sure another anon will find one for you.

>>14602672

>>14602641

>>14602672
GTFO retard, this is a Vark thread

>>14602641
I'm hearin your words and I'm feelin their truth.

>>14602703
>>14602714
>Nothing with that SHU rating is going to be anything but pain
>pic relatee
That habanero actually TASTES good unlike that Aardvark crap, that bottle isn't even their spiciest sauce
>>14602734
Didn't realize this is just a shill thread where you circlejerk over the same underwhelming sauce without actually trying anything else other than srriacha

>>14602741
post your collection of hotsauces, soyjak.

>>14602703
I didn't even mention how retarded it is that you're calling it too spicy, they're both made out of habaneros
>>14602747
After you post your collection with Iguana hot sauce that you've obviously tried

At least you didn't say sriracha

>>14602703
>Scoville Heat Units (SHU): 50,000 - 250,000
>Ingredients: Fresh Ripe Habanero Peppers, Carrots, Vinegar, Onions, Lime Juice, Tomato Paste, Salt, Garlic, and Ascorbic Acid.

It's just a habanero sauce, not some retarded capsaicin extract. Seethe harder, spicelet.

>>14602641
>>/b/
you fucking faggot

>>14602641
for me, its the best shit

>>14602735

>>14602641
I'm too poor for Aardvark. Is it actually that good? My favorites are Franks Red Hot and Tapatio.

>>14602741
Imagine being this retarded

>>14602884
Imagine being so retarded you think habanero is spicier than habanero

>>14602741
Not living the Vark lifestyle
YNGMI

>>14602862
>Tapatio
You may not be able to afford the 'Vark, but you're based, so I'll tell you that it's worth it.

>>14602641
Where do you buy this stuff? It's expensive online.

>>14602641
based
I'm /always varkin/ myself

>>14603054
Find a local hot sauce importer; they can hook you up with several pallets of Secret Aardvark sauce for only a few hundred dollars.

>>14602899
thank you for your service

>>14602641
I'm thinking about going to my local market to browse some niche hot sauces this weekend. What are some things to look out for when deciding what to buy? I already know to steer away from the ones with potty humor on the label.

>>14602899
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFXt4nijkCM

>>14604223
>What are some things to look out for when deciding what to buy?
I always look for the ones with cartoons on the label because they are usually the sweetest and mildest.
Look for the aardvark, that's the best advice I can give.

bros this shit is good

>>14604223
I would also steer away from the bottles with the faggy skulls and coffins and shit all over them. They're usually all heat, no taste.

>>14604243
Does it really have hornets in it? Is that why it's hot?

>>14602862
You need to save up and try 'vark sauce, it's worth every penny. Tapatio and Franks Red Hot sauce pale in comparison to the almighty 'vark.

>>14603054
I got it at smart food service, like $6

>>14604271
Which smart food service was it?

>>14604271
Do they take EBT or food stamps?

>>14602641

How many levels of irony are we on these days, /ck/? When you put the 'Vark on your 'za--which memes aside is pretty kino--are you supposed to have a soyboy gape, a sardonic smirk, or that flouride stare? I just want to grill.

>>14602862

Cholula is easy to find and is based on 'za. For extra Instagram points, just rip the label off and say it was homemade by your mamasita and is too spicy for wypipo.

>>14603054

As with most luxury lifestyle brands, the price is somewhat inflated. But the cost of basic-bitch 'Vark is nothing compared to the Limited Editions. The most recent release was a BLM sauce, limited to a1350 bottles, each of which was spit in by an actual person of color.

>>14604332
>As with most luxury lifestyle brands, the price is somewhat inflated.
It's called supply and demand you fucking idiot. 'vark sauce is in extremely high demand right now and the riots in Portland are disrupting the supply lines to the 'vark sauce factory. It's simple economics.

>>14604243
how many scovilles?

>>14602672
'gauna is good, but it's no 'vark sauce.

>>14604397
>so much incel rage

Who hurt you? It's not our fault that you neglected to stock up on 'Vark before the 'Rona lockdown and the 'igger riots. Now you'll have to put 'etchup on your 'za like some pleb.

>>14604545
people like you who hoarded all of the 'vark sauce are the real joggers.

>>14602641
Its ok, almost done with my bottle I got in January and im not going to buy another. I think it is the must over rated hot sauce on the market other than normie Tabasco. Cholula is way better.

>>14604397
the aardvark sauce plant isn't anywhere near downtown Portland you giant retard

>>14604564
the one in China got shut down because of the corona virus. they had to relocate to their headquarters in Portland and rioters are ransacking and looting all of the 'vark trucks.

>>14604555

At least we didn't fly into Monkey Island to sell it back to the terrorists at inflated prices like some ((sauce speculators)) did. Our stockpile is solely for personal use; every drop is ingested either orally or as a cleansing 'Vark 'Pository.

>>14604563
Tobasco is better then Cholulla.

>>14604567

This guy knows... probably more than ((they)) want him to. Look for the VIN ('Vark Identifcation Number) on the bottle; the last four digits indicate whether the sauce was manufactured in Wuhan, Portland, or Elon Musk's experimental orbiting 'Vark Station.

>>14604209
Just what I need, several pallets of hot sauce

>>14604564

Technically correct, since the plant is located in the separate subdivision called 'Vark City. But in the last decade, 'Vark City has expanded to include 95% of old Portland. So it's a moot point. The mayorship of Portland is now a ceremonal position, with the mayor appointed by the 'Vark Board of Trustees. None of the locals even call it "Portland" anymore, except a handful of wypipo and cu/ck/s who couldn't handle the 'Vark.

>>14604642
>>14604593
>>14604567
xD funneh

>>14604332
>BLM sauce
dropped and canceled
fuck the taardvark

>>14604563
ah, yes the cock bottle. shaped like a cock.

>>14604846
its a bottle... they all look like cocks you massive smooth brain

>>14605006
Check out the guy who thinks of cocks every time he sees any bottle.

>>14605012
*rimshot*

>>14604477
not much, about el yucateco in heat. The flavor is on point though.

>>14602641
never heard of this but looks very reddit

>>14602703
Being retarded with a 2 year old meme was bad enough but this is just really sad

Bought a pack myself and a pack as a gift and the order arrived roughly a week ago, mainly because of the hype this sauce is getting.

Can OP or other thread participants pinpoint why the hell is Aardvark so popular?
To me it tastes like habanero and tomatosauce, nothing special there.
Am I just a retard or is there something missing here? The composition is great but other than that, it's just pretty average tasting sauce. The package is also hard plastic which you have to shake in order to get any sauce out from it.

Also post pictures of the red ale recipe if you've done it, is it good? I'm drinking beer but lacking tomato sauce to try it out.

what should i put my vark on?

>>14602641
It's fine, but I don't understand why it's so expensive and I live in Portland.

>>14606790
under your foreskin

>>14605047
It's the ultimate hipster, soyboy sauce.

>>14602641
>trash sauce
>shill thread
>i season my chicken with sage

>>14607022
Wasted get KYS faggot

>>14607022
bbbbb bluepilled

>>14602672
This shit tastes like acid

Why does /ck/ not like sriracha? Is it too mainstream?

>>14608371
sriracha tastes like fermented garlic with some chiles. It's fucking gross unless you put it on chink food.

>>14607210
what kind of acid have you been eating anon?

>>14608371
Have you seen how that shit is made? It's 50/50 chilli and bird shit and insert parts.

Give me Vark or nothing!

>>14602899
I really need to get into Vark more. I love the culture.

>>14608999
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USjU8SJPzV8

I don't see anything wrong?

>>14608371
What are you taking about, sriracha is /ck/'s darling meme sauce. Aside from angry grandma sauce ofc

>>14608999
Checked and BASED
For my family and I it's allways Secret Aardvark. The best hot sauce!

>>14608371
It's just not as good after they changed pepper suppliers.

>>14609021
>angry grandma sauce
>not knowing Lao Gan Ma by name

>>14609029
God, I bet you're the smug cunt who goes to restaurants and smugly tries to pronounce the dish name instead of saying the dish number or pointing at the menu picture and saying "That one, please!"

>>14603054
I've bought 2 half gallon containers of it from Amazon.

>>14609013

It may be too late unless you have beaucoup bucks. Earlier this year, when 'Vark started getting as popular as 'Racha, the hipster community began preparations to abandon it in favor of the next big meme. But then Portland got nigger-nuked, and the 'Vark supply dried up just as it was becoming mainstream. Now Hollywood celebrities are paying $1000/oz for old bottles, and hipsters are making bank on their "instant vintage" 'Vark collections. Just don't make the mistake of trying to fool your Instagram subscribers with one of those Eugene knockoffs, like Stealthy Anteater or Sneaky 'Possum.

>>14602899
>>14609022

Thank you for your service, and your double dubs.

>>14609021
Not since we were memeing Flavortown, no. Have you been away from this board for a few years?

>>14610906

Be nice, you know that Sriracha was discovered to cause anterograde amnesia due to remaining Agent Orange contamination in Vietnam.

>>14602641
I can't find the 'vark anywhere in the norf
Can you lads help?

>>14606437
it's 'vark is worse than its bite

Bump

Mix a few scotch bonnets and habaneros with some onion, herbs of choice, and lime juice. You got some real good chip-dip there buddy.

>>14611643
Yeah, just do some internet shopping innit?

>>14602899
>>14609022
i guess we're /vark/ now

/ck/ reverse memed me into buying aardvark sauce and it really does suck, it's just way too sweet

>>14613137
This, I don't get how people even enjoy overly sweet sauces. They're meant to be spicy and herbal, not sweet-sour spring roll dip

>>14604276
One in Carson City nv, but check your local smart & final too same company

My daughter is hooked on this stuff its that good!

>>14613998
How much alcohol did the mother consume during pregnancy?

>>14613998
lol downs baby

>>14613998
it frightens me y'all are procreating

>>14614022
VARK is the future. Get on board or go extinct.

>>14614006
>>14614015
>>14614022
You fuckers can all eat shit and die!

>>14613061
wwwwargh I wouldn't trust those cunts with my bike lock nevermind me fervour for flavour
sorry mate I'd rather have the real thing

>>14613998
>>14614006
>>14614015
>>14614022
this is what 'vark does to your babies
stop now

>>14613998
You might as well just puke in her mouth, poor thing.

>>14602641
What taste like frank’s red hot but hotter? I tried things like ghost pepper sauces but they always taste like ass

>>14614599
Just mix Franks with something else.

>>14614599
Just add a super hot pepper powder or pod to the franks and blend wa la

>>14614594
does aardvark really

>>14614087
What kind of retard would post their daughter on 4chan of all places??!?

i like tapatio because it is cheap

>>14613998
I love the vintage label, that's a finely aged bottle of 'vark, probably a '06.

>>14609022
me on the right

Where my Tucsonbros at?

>>14615549
I'm born and raised in Tuscon and Poblano is okay.
It's good but it's no Secret Aardvark Serrabanerro sauce, that's for sure.

>>14615604
Fuck you

>>14615655
seething shill

>>14606790
You can put 'vark on 'za, burgers, chicken tenders, sushi, fried chicken, fries, roasted chicken, enchiladas, tacos, burritos, enchiritos, chalupas, flautas, tamales, chimichangas, buffalo wings, chili, fish, roast beef, pork chops, curry, hotdogs, pretzels, corndogs, ramen, lo mein, chicken katsu, polish sausage, teriyaki chicken, steak, turkey, yakisoba chicken, sandwiches, casseroles, salads, soups, falafel, mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, collard greens, pork rinds, chitlins, corn-on-the-cob, meat pie, fish n chips, peking duck, egg rolls, spring rolls, chili dogs, potato chips, nachos, gumbo, alligator steaks, General Tsos chicken, fried rice, egg foo yung, tandoori chicken, chicken tikka masala, beef rogan josh, naan bread, garlic bread, beef wellington, eggs benedict, omelettes, scrambled eggs, bacon, ground sausage, deli platters, pickles, shepherd's pie, beef stroganoff, korma, chicken parmesan, veal parmesan, spaghetti, lasagna, fettucine, meatloaf, shrimp n grits, salisbury steak, chicken pot pie, hamburger steak, risotto, crawfish etoufee, gnocchi, manicotti, chicken fried steak, country fried steak, beef bulgogi, shrimp tempura, orange chicken, pork tenderloin, moussaka, malaka, quiche, broccoli chicken divan, chicken a la king, kabob, shwarma, sharmuta, linguine, gyros, schnitzel, penne pasta, crab cakes, lobster rolls, pork carnitas, jamaican beef patties, baked scallops, lobster thermidor, wontons, corned beef, pepper steak, shoyu chicken, chicken pesto, filet mignon, and rellenos.

There is a hot sauce store in Houston. They carry this which is very tasty and not too hot to where it hurts.

>this thread

Luv me a good 'vark thread, I

Is it true that the founder of secret aardvark is an infamous neonazi? I'd really like to try it on my next Sauce Sunday, but I don't want to support chuds.

>>14616853
>Got the boys coming over for Sauce Sunday
>mfw

This thread fucking stinks of Reddit.
Get /pol/ in here.

Actual best hot sauce coming through.

>>14615604
Based>>14615655
Cringe

>>14602641
anyone tried Bunsters shit the bed hot sauce? Good flavor, but holy fuck it's too hot.

>>14602846
I worked a Temp job at Target, and the only condiment in the break room was a bottle of Franks. Being poor as fuck I thought "Hey free shit" and I ended up putting it on whatever shitty meal I brought to work everyday.

I ate so much of it that I went through a period of time after I left to where if my food didn't have Franks in it it tasted off. It was really weird because I'm not a hotsauce enthusiast in the least bit.

>>14617342
This shit here is awesome. They have a green version that is my second favorite hot sauce behind Secret Aardvark of course.

>>14602741
Lol how poverty treating you, Pedro?

>>14604657
This shit is crack cocaine

>>14604563
Cholula chad rise up