/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Only if he'll sit down and have a beer with me while he does it.

I'd just ask him for the most bizarre thing and then ask for some water, drink the water and just go to the market and buy some eggs and pan fry them in an open fire in a forest or something.

>>14368925
yes

1) it looks good
2) euros aren't worth anything, meme country
3) collared shirts are good

>>14368925
No. I love sushi but the only thing is that it needs to be fresh.

>>14368925
Based gooks dabbing on graphic t shirt wearing geeks.

>>14368925
>mfw pretentious white hipsters come here to eat overpriced bullshit so they can brag about it on instagram to the other dipshit bohemian bourgeois just because obummer ate there

Daily reminder that this place is completely over priced and not worth the journey. Anything cooked there can be made better in the US by chefs trained in Japan. This is just fools buying into hype. Americans can cook anything better than any other nation. We take the top chefs and brain drain the fuck out of your nations.

Have you ever had Italian pizza? It fucking sucks dick. New York and Chicago changed the game. French food? Cajun food is the next evolution and shits all over it. Mexican food? Telmex bitch. Anything you can do we do better.

>inb4 asshurt provincials start the water works and crying about McDonalds

I’m here for my sushi rolls, reservation for Göttoter, Chad thanks babe.

>>14368925
If I had to go, I'd go. If I noticed he was mocking me while I was there, I'd probably make a scene. I don't give a shit how good you are at folding rice, you weaselly faggot; I am paying you and I expect to not be mocked while I'm doing it.

Damn that fish looks good though

>>14368925
For 600 Euros I better be eating Tsukiji toro off the naked body of a shy giggling Japanese girl

>>14368925
Only three pieces?

Sushi is bar food. Turning it into a fancy affair is like dressing up to eat loaded nachos.

>>14369331
HELLO BASED DEPARTMENT?

>>14369251
>euros aren't worth anything, meme country
American education

>>14371286
>responding to obvious jokes seriously

This is what happens when all satire and higher thinking has been banned by the PC police

>>14371307
>>responding to obvious jokes seriously
You can never know with those Americans.

In all seriousness how is he getting away with it? People fly in from across the globe to pay top dollar for a slice of fish and a nickels worth of rice. He has his employees hoodwinked into believing they need to work for years to perfect their rice cooking.
Jiro is a pure scumbag

>>14371397
Umm hello, is this the based department?!

>>14371397
Even that stupid fuck Obama went there

>>14371272
The rice is a little excessive, especially when you have all that broth to deal with.

>>14371397
Same way all fancy restaurants get away with serving you specks of food for exorbitant prices, or why clothing brands make people buy generic t-shirts with only the logo on the collar. You think you're paying for something high quality that you can brag about, legit no other fucking reason.

You could get sushi for way, WAY less money and it'd still be as good, only difference is that faggots like to show off by overpricing and over-exaggerating the richness of the food.

>>14368925
i went there just to mock him, i put ketchup on the sushi.

>>14371588
>implying a ketchup fag can afford it
>implying you'd do it if you could

>>14371397
>how is he getting away with it?
Hhe's an old japanese guy. He'll get away with anything.

>>14371591
moron, i dont usually put ketchup on sushi.
i just did it to put him in his place.

>>14371397
>am i not turtley enough for the turtle club? turtle, turtle

残念ながら彼が死ぬまで予約でいっぱいなので貧乏BAKAGAIJINが彼の寿司を食べられる可能性はゼロです

>>14371618
ching chong bing bong gib dem sushi and ramen recipes and lock yourself up in your island

>>14368925
i just point at they’re dick and laugh back, or make gestures to remind them of their genetic destiny of a 4-5inch penis

>>14368925
what makes sushi are the ingredients
the chef has very little input in saying how good a piece of toro tastes
I absolutely guarantee you that the dime of dozen sushi place on any shopping street is 10 times better than the most expensive of sushi joints in L O N D O N just because you can't get fresh aomori tuna outside of the sea of japan

>>14371628
there's literally 20 times more of them, so that genetic destiny must be working overtime

>>14371628
>4-5inch
most asians are below 4 inches

>>14368925
>eating raw food

>>14371730
the metal utensil on that non stick pan that has been through hell and back really drives the joke home

>>14371272
Japanese kimchi

>>14371817
what's wrong with that?

>>14368925
"thanks for picking the worms out of the fish food prep man"

$600 raw fish with white rice and seaweed that they could honestly learn to make on their own

>>14371730
dear lord please clean that stove for the love of god

>>14368925
I'd charge more desu.

>>14368925
If it means I can punch him in the face then yes

>>14371594
>Hhe's an old japanese guy. He'll get away with anything.
even the war crimes?

i'd bend jiro over his own counter and bareback his geriatric ass until he dies from anal hemorrhaging.

>>14368925
I'd go and wear a baseball cap just to spite the old fucker

>>14371412
Why wouldn't he? He's not the one who paid for it.

>>14373681
True

>>14373681
Why does it matter what the president does with their salary?

>>14373714
Travel expenses aren't a salary.

>>14368950
>I'd just ask him for the most bizarre thing and then ask for some water
He'd explain you in Japanese that you don't ask for things in his restaurant, you take what he gives you. Then he'd probably spit at you and mock you for being fat.

>>14368925
I don't own a shirt without a collar. Even my exercise gear is old rugby shirts from school.

>>14368925
No, not in my current situation

>>14368925
>600 hundred euros for 3 pieces of sushi and one piece of that ugly soap flavored sea weed
WHAT THE HELL!? is the sushi made with that stupid 500k giant fish that only swims in a secluded area in Asia?
Am I going to eat it in the belly of a naked cute Japanese girl with boobs as big as hitomi tanaka and take as much time as I want while she makes conversation with me and let's me grope her? Do yuros really? I can bet that every Jap worker there laughs at you for spending so much money just for basic 1$ dollar rice and a 5$ fish at most

>>14369331
>Italian pizza
Yeah it sucks, it's mostly because I'd the selection of ingredients and the soil where it grows, Italian tomatoes make a bad pizza mostly because they are kinda sour and give the pizza a bad flavor, and yes yuros are very stupid to spend 600$ bucks for basic 1$ dollar rice and 3$ dollars fish you buy at Walmart, I have to admit that Americans really make food taste better than their origin country, not all of it but a lot
>Mexican food
>Telmex
???? Don't know what you mean by that but taco bell is shit and can't even dream to compare to real Mexican food, not even in a million years

>>14371397
Part of it is the ritualistic experience, part is actual quality food. That tuna looks completely different from what I've had at sushi restaurants in the U.S. and looks straight up like jelly.

>>14371397
>Samkiyabashi Hyde

>>14374159
For me it's Ai Shinozaki

>>14369331
>Anything you can do we do better.
You realize that goes for anyone from any nation, right? Anyone who works hard to improve at a certain cuisine can effectivelly outperform people native to that particular cuisine.

However, I must question whether YOU would be able to cook anything decent AT ALL! It is far too easy for you to brag about the skills of other people that live in your country, but do YOU have any skills whatsoever?

>>14373724
You don't know that he didn't pay with his own money.

>>14368925
that little fish body looks like the goron village gem, I'd gulp that in an instant just to say I have if nothing else, for 600 monopoly Jiro can make me as many anime plates as he wants

>>14374356
>That tuna looks completely different
it is, that's like the most inner circle of steak of a perfectly healthy tuna that was caught and shipped without freezing ever special request in the same hour time frame, imagine the smell

>dozens of cu/ck/s eternally triggered by a 93 year old Asian man who lives in another continent

I don't even have a Epic reaction image for this, this is just hilarious

>>14369331
Everything about this except the texmex is unironically correct

I swear that first piece looks like akami tuna brushed with that soy sauce mix they use.

Jiro is just fucking with people at this point.

In all honesty, no. I'd go out to a bunch of izakayas and less famous but still good sushi places and drink while I do it too.

>>14375461
Yes goyjin...

>>14373156
especially those

>>14375028
why is japanese cuisine so hilariously bad?
the main staple dish of nipponland is sushi which is literally just fish on rice
their curry is just watered soup
ramen is just inferior version of authentic Chinese noodles
even instant noodles is taiwanese (Chinese) and not from japan

why could the nips not make a satisfactory cuisine?

>>14371397
People want the experience something made by the master.tm before he kicks the bucket because there's a mysticism behind old Japanese men in media so this guy's sushi has to make you orgasm or some shit

>>14376455
You have no idea what you are talking about. Even spewing out straight lies. Japanese cuisine and food culture is one of the most refined on this godforsaken planet.

>>14369331
I read it in his voice

>>14376455
Whatever you say, kim/chang.

>>14376455
Sushi is not the main staple food of Japan, geez. Look at the lunch boxes people bring to work and what kids bring to school. There is the staple.

>>14373527
>"You like that, you fucking retard?"

>>14373156
There are none

>>14378227
>>14378329
>>14378517
Let me guess, 1800$ euros for the one in the first pic
1500$ euros for the one on the second pic
1000$ euros for the one in the third pic

Do rich people really buy overpriced stuff just because they have money?
I'm guessing they're buying brand, must be cool to be able to charge idiots insane prices for basic 10$ dollars stuff, old guy must be living pretty well just by doing basic cuisine

>>14369331

Fuck you cajun food sucks dick except for beignets and chicory coffee. The rest of it is just bug-seafood slathered in as much chili pepper as it can soak up. And okra. Then again I wouldn't expect niggers to have the talent or patience for french onion soup or creme brulee or quiche or cheesemaking.

>>14378668
>seethe this hard

>>14369331
Based except real Mexican waffle stomps Tex Mex

>>14369331
He's right you know.

>>14368950
>Surly King of the Egg Fort vs Gyro
Who wins?

>>14369331
Everything is true except texmex
Texmex is just grease on grease

Jiro made for some god tier shitposts
>slaps .25 can of raw tuna on bed of Uncle Ben's rice
>DAT 6000 DORRA WAITU PIGGU

>>14378743
>cajun food sucks
i want to know exactly where you went wrong in life to come to a conclusion like this

>>14368925

>>14376935
Hey, fuck you buddy!

>>14380885
WHERE IS THE DIPPING SOUP?!

Jiro is basically a meme place for foreign tourists who read shitty guidebooks now. There are loads of cheaper (maybe $150 -$100 instead of $300) sushi places all over Tokyo that are just as if not better than Hiro.

>>14368925
>Would you pay 600 euros to eat this while an old Japanese man mocks your ethnicity?
No, but get me his grand daughter and we have a deal. you can keep the sushi

>>14378668

>1800 dollars euros

>>14369331
>Texmex
>Better than anything
Texmex is pure unadulterated garbage. Authentic mexican can actually be great, but the best texmex can ever approach is mediocre, and that's on a good day.

>>14371600
Yeah you sure showed him, he pocketed hundreds of dollars of your money while you got to eat raw fish covered in ketchup which you presumably had to bring yourself because why would a sush restaurant have ketchup on the counter?
Yeah, you totally got him bro.

>>14382120
Why you seethe so hard? cope harder, incel

>>14382164
I'm not seething, I'm laughing at the fact that you not only expect people to believe your silly story but think that if they did believe it it would totally show how you pulled one over on the guy who scammed you.

>>14382120
a small bottle of ketchup fits in a jacket pocket.
I didnt pay for anything, my mommy gf gives me an allowance.

>>14382172
>t. cope and seethe

Yea I love eating some dogshit fish meat thats only priced high because 100 million nips think its worth more than it is

>>14376455
Based and redpilled

>>14382164
>seethe
>cope
>incel
fuck off we're full

>>14369331
>DUDE ADD FAT AND SUGAR TO EXISTING DISH
>ME JUST IMPROVED IT ME GENIUS

The absolute state of Americreatures.

>>14382460
huh?

>>14378668
probably more like $5 for those

>>14382316
>Carrying ketchup with you in case of ethnic food emergency
Utimate mutt hours

>>14382471
cringe

>>14376455
This is pasta you slobbering tards.

>>14369331
Its the Hamilton of food. Is this what you are saying?

>>14369331
>French food? Cajun food is the next evolution and shits all over it.
Just asked /fr/. They said this isn't true.
>>>/int/126645759

Do you think America can cook food better than every other country?

>>14383077
>believing anything said on 4channel
Unironically best cope, from a retard.

>> 14382948
Good answer!
$3 $4 $5.
300JPY 400JPY 500JPY
Frozen food

I like how the poorfags can't imagine anything better than their walmart farmed fish and boxed rice so IT HAS to be bad.

>>14371721
White people and their fascination with dicks

no

>>14368925
Of course. I wipe my arse with 600 euro.

>>14384020
White people are the most insecure about dick size after all.