/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14264177
of for fuck's sake
you cheated, but I'll allow it because I hadn't seen this one yet.
what a clown.

>>14264094

but traditionally phillies were made with cheez-whiz

It may not be peak performance, but it's what's right

>>14264217
look, you goddamn reddit-spacer, it's fucking baked. he BAKED ground beef with thick cut bi-colored peppers, and onion powder with the chopped onions, and slapped it on a dry hoagie roll.
I don't care if he made it "wit whiz" like a gud boy. it's awful.

>>14264253

>Baked beef with soft cooked peppers for maximum flavor on an airy but firm piece of bread

I stand with this recipe, #dontcancelphilly

>spaghetti
>in the slowcooker
>for 30 mins
I lost

>>14264293
S L O W
C O O K E D
S P A G H E T T I
SIMPLY EBIN.

Anyone have a link to that Am*rican woman who made an oil sauce for her pasta? Like she fried some stuff in a gallon of oil and discarded everything except the oil. It was on youtube.

>>14264177
how the hell did he cut a finger that was holding the knfie?

>>14265350
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI2lWuoMV3I&list=PLiKEU27L-QWUm6gTECAeSiWSNt9dUOIga&index=2&t=0s
>but remember, it is the oil that gives it the taste!

>>14265550
Jacks shittiness knows not the bounds of physics.

>>14265550
He would've pricked his finger on the spine

>>14264177
>>14264094
>>14265562
This is why I ignore people when they cry about "OMG, the Internet gives you all of human knowledge in one place". Because so much of it is misinformation or trash.
I'm glad the Library of Alexandria burned.

>>14265855

>A curated resource of all of histories knowledge is comparable to people shitposting on facebook

Fucking retard, I hope YOU burn, the internet is a great place of knowledge, but if you're learning from retweets you deserve to die from eating tide pods

>>14265562
Midwesterners were a mistake

>>14264094
isn't a 'ground beef cheese steak' just a chopped cheese?

>>14264094
Already lost. I live in Philly so this abomination hits hard.

>>14264217
No, traditionally they were made with provolone like all Philly sandwiches, but then some New Jersey Jew started shilling whiz and some shops bought it unaware of what it was. Tourists began to associate whiz with cheesesteaks so it became a “thing”. Philly natives can pick out people who don’t belong because they order whiz and act like it makes it “authentic”. You should always get provolone as sharp as humanly possible.

>>14266340

why are you gay bro? I bet you suck dicks and say no homo at the pride parade

>>14265562
How she cuts the onion is even worse than the gallon of oil.

>>14264177
winner winner chicken dinner (salmonella included LOL)

>>14264094
i am a very curious human being
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jw-1eKhMARo

>>14266106
>t. triggered redditard

What kind of beef do I need for a Philly? I'm tired of every sandwich place and their godawful pathetic excuse that is their Philly cheese steak

>>14266539

>>14264094
Have some Masao
https://youtu.be/w46Dwh4TMGA

>>14266340
They were traditionally made with white deli american retard, usually cooper brand. Provolone is great on a steak tho

>>14265562
>Adds fuckton of extra oil
>Recommends skimming it off at the end
Also that knifework was horrendous, reminds me of me in college when I first started cooking things that weren't microwavable.

>>14264217
>traditionally phillies were made with cheez-whiz
No, they were made with provolone. Whiz started in the 90's and only if you were a poor fuck

>>14264217
The sandwich dates back to at least the 1930s. Cheez Whiz came out in the 1950s.

>>14267056

thanks grandpa

>>14267063
I'd assumed you were old. Don't tell me you're a digital native who doesn't know how to use the internet.

Post food gore/struggle plates. Those are always fun

>>14267081

Oh, it's the "I'm actually one of you kids" tricks you boomers are always pulling, sadly I can't play along

>>14267102
I didn't say I wasn't old I said I assumed you were. Dumbass zoomer.

>>14267126

haha you need a walker

Just post those retarded food hacks those content farms make.

>>14267152
In 50 years I may need someone to hold my hand when I stand up. You already need someone to hold your hand through a Google search.

>>14267197
I mean, sure it's not very hygienic, but thats a cool ass idea for serving a non-sticky food

>decides to cook chicken and veggies with slow cooker
>dumps in potatoes and carrots at the bottom
>barely any seasoning
>chicken sticking out the water at the top
>would normally have mushy potatoes and carrots from being cooked at the same time, but didn't cook long enough
This is basically trial and error shit. How can these fuckers manage to cook this poorly and propagate their retardation to others on Youtube?

>>14267224
This man is making spaghetti in a skillet on the grill.
America was a mistake.

>>14267224

thanks for reminding me I forgot to seasson my chicken UwU

>>14264094
>poor man's Philly cheese steak
That's a $30 sandwich in Trudeau's Canadastan

>>14267286

That's right, if you want american you gotta PAY!!!

>>14267205
It seems incredibly contrived.

>>14267318
I just watched her make meatballs out of what I'm pretty sure was turkey with no seasoning baked for 10 minutes.

>>14265562
if she learned the recipe as a child, why was it already named after her?

A different spaghetti bolognese

>>14267339
Also she boils the meat

>>14267318
>Baked Potato with Tuna and Mayo
>Pizza on Toast
>Two Ingredient Cole Slaw
>Curried Eggs (with peas)
>Tuna Sweetcorn Pasta
>Chicken Curry Pancakes
no, Fuck you. I'm not doing this to myself. I'm not watching any video on her channel. I refuse.

>>14264293
I hate these fuckers that break spghetti into two

>>14266539
everything I've read says ribeye

>>14267355
>Sausage curry
>Frozen sausages directly into hot lard
>Bottle of curry heated up and poured over sausages
>Not even over rice or with bread
I need to go to the grocery store before I lose my whole day to this.

>>14267441
>before I lose my whole day to this.
That's why I'm not even going to start. I can't.

What are the odds they do it on purpose for views?

>>14267497
Fewer than you'd think, probably.
It's the comments and like/dislike ratio that makes me think it's sincere. Amerilards really are that gross and stupid.

>>14267361
They are great, lasagna my way is amazing, pure unfiltered kino.
You cannot tell at first if it is a joke or not but sadly she is for real

>>14267441
Actually the lard or oil is never hot, which is even worse :')

>>14267497

4 odds

>>14264094

>>14267514
Pit boys get a pass

>>14267514

Nothing cringe about being a man

>>14265855
>I'm glad the Library of Alexandria burned.

>>14267152
>be zoomer
>have no memes
>make variations of 10 year old frog/sad man memes and act like they are OC
>call literally everything “meme” and completely bastardize the meaning
>turn 4chan into social media/politics website
Why are baby zooms so bad at the internet?

>>14267559
>>14266106
We didn't lose anything of value. If today's ratio of knowledge-to-trash is any indicator, it probably spared us from a cornucopia of garbage and falsity.

>>14267634
t. assblasted boomster

>>14266106
>I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE

>>14266539
I use the chain from a PSMO, same as Alton Brown. Would suck his duk though, no homo.

>>14268105


nigger science is the only reason I'm able to call you a faggot from a random location in the world without having to put on any clothes

FAGGOT

>>14266106
>Curated resource of all of history's knowledge
no.
The Library of Alexandria probably wasn't even a majority informational text, the King Ptolemy II decreed that any book found on any ship in Alexandria would be copied and put into the library. Literally any book, it's not curated whatsoever.

>>14268119
>nigger science
Pretty sure it was white people, but whatever you say roodypoo.

>>14267635
>If today's ratio of knowledge-to-trash is any indicator,
It isn't.
You couldn't self-publish back then.

>>14268184
>Anon talks out of his ass: The Post

>>14264253
stop giving reddit credit for paragraphs. I used to do it, maybe not to that extent, but I have never been a reddit user. just faggots like you losing their shit all the time get annoying.

>>14267205
>but thats a cool ass idea for serving a non-sticky food
No it isn't. use a fucking plate.

>>14265855
>>14267559
it actually didn't burn, that's a myth

>>14264177
I've always wondered about Jack and the greater pantheon of absolutely fucktarded YouTube chefs who put up garbage content like this. For years upon years, they've been mocked and shat on by everyone who views their content, but they keep churning it out with a big innocent smile and acting like it's the best cuisine in the world. Are they just really dedicated trolls? In the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, do they actually believe their recipes have even one single redeeming value? Who is this content even FOR?

>>14265562
I havent seen this travesty in a while.

>>14268527

any publicity is good publicity!!!

>>14265550
He pressed his thumb onto the blade like the full grown retard he is.

>>14268547
But like, even Jack, in all his ineptitude, styles himself as a "pro chef," with the branding and the BBQ sauce at Wal*Mart and all his other jumped-up bullshit.
Someone like Kay I can forgive because she's just some retarded old wingbat with a fried brain from years of that kind of food and just wants to shove slop into her autistic son's hole.
But YouTubers like Jack or Marie and her "tomato" "sauce" style themselves as home cook gurus. Wouldn't you, idk, watch or read a single recipe to even see what human food looks like? Nothing in these insane videos ever resembles anything like the fish it's claiming to be. It's truly like aliens aping human customs.
I've been watching these nightmare YouTubers on this board for years and they never cease to leave me gobsmacked. I truly hate these people.

>>14267514
Ok soy tard

>>14268147
>knowledge is only le PEER REVIEWED SCIENCE

>>14268710
Bro it's not curated at all, peer reviewed or otherwise, they just rounded up every single book and copied it.

>>14266709
This is GOLD

>>14268527
$

>>14268724

prove it

>>14268753
All it takes is a simple look at the wiki page, then if you're still skeptical, you can follow the linked sources.

>>14268876

PROVE IT

>>14268892
http://www.attalus.org/translate/extracts.html#galen
'The books were then copied into new manuscripts. He gave the new copy to the owners, whose books had been brought to him after they sailed there, but he put the original copy in the library with the inscription "a [book] from the ships".'
Primary source from the ancient scholar Galen.

>>14268921

PROVE IT!!!

>>14268933
It's been proved.

>>14268936

Prove

it

>>14268201
This. Reddit spacing is such a fucking dumb meme.

>>14264094
this isn't that bad, if I had some kids to feed I'd probably make this to trick them

>>14267346
post the after pic

>>14268119
lel, mad
>>14268952
>>14268201
nobody's mad. we're just calling out your faggotry. if this bothers you or you're unused to it, you're probably from reddit.

>Nobody calls you mad
>Insist that you're not mad
>Call other people mad

>>14269255
ok bro

Stay mad bruh.

>>14267362

>>14265562
ah the classic, always guarantees replies

>>14267274
Actually not a terrible idea. You would end up with super starchy water thats perfect for saucing.

You do sauce your pasta correctly, right anon?

>>14269853
I think you forgot the water anon.

>>14269853
I've done this with potatos once, remembered I was boiling potatos minutes before they started burning. Had to throw the pot away lmao.

What was the /ck/ video classic where some middle aged woman makes tomato sauce and cuts onions in a horrible way with a blunt knife?

In the meantime enjoy our queen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4zw99VsoMA

>>14264094
This isn't cringe, it just made me sad inside

>>14265562
Anyone track down her meatball video? I know there's a re-upload of it somewhere, but I am too inept to find it

>>14267286
i bet cheez whiz tastes fucking amazing bros... i've made cheesesteaks but i've only ever used swiss, provolone, or pepperjack

>>14267362
I always snap my spaghetti just to spite nerds like you

>>14265855
>I'm glad the Library of Alexandria burned.
>t. muslim

>>14268527
Ask not for whom the content is even for
It is for thee

>>14268593
>>14268527
Marie's tomato sauce is a classic cringe video, but I never understood the deal with Jack. Just came back to this board after a 3-4 year hiatus and I remember jack threads being up every day and people spamming his shit everywhere back then. Always too afraid to click on his videos so I don't understand to this day why is he so famous. Did the shitposters here make him famous? Are people watching him ironically? Are people watching him unironically? He also had a sauce brand (?) so how the fuck did he get so famous

>>14272065
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-I2LEB_AxY

It's this one

>>14272065

What the fuck did I just watch

>salad
>sweetened condensed milk
>a cup of sugar
>pint of mayo
Probably wonders why she's so fat when she eats salads and vegetables all the time. The last video is from 11 years ago, did she die of a heart attack or something?

>>14267512
yeah, she literally braises/boils all her meat because the heat is always so low, I could bathe in that oil safely

>>14272467
that's an amerifat 'salad' in a nutshell. As long as its served on the side, has more than 3 ingredients, and no meat it's considered a salad here

>>14268733
every time someone discovers masao for the first time makes me smile

>>14268119
>nigger science
THE PERFECT FRIED CHICKEN

>>14272678

>>14267318
>2nd paella video
>actually attempts to use seafood this time
>rice is cooked before adding
>even uses some seasoning
>son: I've never heard of fish in payelluh

does anyone have the webm of babish spilling the sauce all over his pot handles

>>14268944
it was true
I was there
I fucked Ptolemey's ass

>>14272743
what's with hating Soybish on /ck/? The guy has some flaws, but he is a competent cook.

>>14264253
That's why it says poor man's idiot

>>14272819
yeah, poor people can't afford a skillet and cooking oil

>>14266709
i didn't lose to this because i laughed, i lost because this made me unfathomably depressed

>>14264094
Let me recount this for you guys.. wish I'd taken a picture, but I didn't.

>Two months ago, live alone
>Recent alcohol binge, take some medicine to relieve hangover
>Better cook something to fill the stomach, can't let meds sit on an empty stomach
>Set oven to 450, place frozen pizza inside
>Head to basement to feed and water dog while pizza cooks
Fast forward
>Next day, wake up chilling with doggo
>Dog food, check. Dog water, check
>Human food, also check
>Stand up
>Smoke
>Open door of room
>More smoke
>House has electric problems, has caught fire before
>Was always while I was awake
>OhFuckSequence.INITIATED
>Full spring to fire extinguisher, then full sprint towards thicker smoke
>It's in the dining room
>Nope, the oven
>The fucking pizza
>Oven still on, realize it's been twelve fucking hours

Had to remove all doors from their hinges, turn on my central air system, and set up fans everywhere before I opened the oven. Thick, black smoke billowed out, and an hour later (after I assured the neighbors that my house wasn't burning and that I was simply retarded), all that was left to see was a paper thin black puck sitting in the oven. Had to use a hammer to disintegrate the damn thing so I could trash it. House still faintly smells of burnt carbon

>>14272912
Oh, forgot to add this
>Pizza had been eaten
>My hung over and recently medicated ass had placed a pizza in the oven
>Twice
>Only grabbed one of the pizzas to eat, turns out
Don't do things while you're hopped up on medicine, kids

>>14267532
>>14267541
>>14268701
omg its meat! so fucking manly dude! so much fucking meat just barbecued man! fucking cigars dude! im a fucking MAN! MEAT !!!!!!!!
how do you fall for this r*ddit trash

My man Pasi
youtube.com/watch?v=SpHF9-EId-Y

>>14272934
Those guys are faggots but where do you get off calling people reddit while ironically censoring yourself like you're on discord or twitter or wherever that asterisk shit is from?

>>14273041
>Whereever that asterisk shit is from
You must be a new****, r**dy-p**

>>14272942
https://youtu.be/SpHF9-EId-Y

>>14273086
'07 but I didn't bother with anything but /k/ until 2013. Maybe this has been a thing for a long time but I've noticed an absolute fuckton of it recently and I'm certain it's because of some normie trend. So why do you do it?

>>14273136
If I remember correctly, the years explaining it were like '12-'15? Or maybe upwards into 16. I guess it's been a while. If you don't get it, you don't get it

>>14273148
>I do it because people did it post-Chanology and I don't even remember why
So again, where do you get off calling people reddit?

>>14273171
I never did call anyone reddit, fag. I'm just a guy explaining why you're a fag for being butthurt about someone calling you reddit but using an asterisk
Candy-ass

>>14273188
>>14273171
Look up "4chan word filter"
Holy hell was I wrong about the year though.. time flies when you're shit posting. Looks like it ended in March of 07

>>14273188
Nobody called me reddit.

>>14265562
Apparently this was actually an English teacher making a satire video for her class. I'd like to believe that, because believing the opposite means someone actually preps their garlic like that

>>14272467
Please don't be mean to Sarah, she cooks with her heart and is as wholesome as can be.

>>14273215
She does make references to older videos...The wolrd is a dark place anon.

>>14266709
Jack has all the resources he needs to make good food
this guy should be checked into an asylum for his own sake
feels bad

>>14265855
Your logic is utterly flawed, but keep being a retard if that's what you enjoy being.

>>14273568
He's actually a somewhat successful lawyer in Montreal, I believe. This isn't his only property.

>>14268527

Those trolls still watch ads. Jack is probably making some decent income just from monetization and it's not like he dips into anything "risky" that can get him demonetized, so even if most people hate his cooking, it still gets him money. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if he made more money from those videos than chefs at high end restaurants.

>>14265562
>People might think that my sauce has a great deal of oil on — and it does. You can remove it, but it is the OIL which gives it the taste.

>>14268119
Imagine believing science is your friend lmao
Those motherfuckers been hiding us things for decades