/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I had sex with a waitress right on the table once and she was writhing in ecstasy screaming "oh my god your dick is so massive," and then I woke up.

There's a Greek fast food place I frequent for lunch. Every time I'm there, there's a guy with downs sitting by himself eating what I estimate is at least five pounds of dry weight in spaghetti. No sauce or anything.

>>14211273
Lol what

I like to loosen the salt shaker cap so that the next person who decides to add some salt to his food will have a nice surprise :)

One time I ordered hash browns and asked for no butter but the lady gave me one with butter and I let her know and she replaced it with one that didn't have butter.

>>14211255
once I accidentally the whole restaurant

>>14211265

>>14211344
Dangerously based. Saltcucks btfo.

>>14211255
One time I went to a diner near my house and the waitress got my order wrong

>>14211273
What does he know about gastronomy that we don't?

>>14211421
Like how in Hook they just imagine what they're eating, but I guess if you're not in Neverland you need something real to help.

>be me
>work boh in small restaurant
>one day favorite coworker OD's and dies
>everyone big sad
>week passes by
>waitress that usually ignores me starts getting super flirty
>tells me i'm her new "work husband"
>already know that she was super flirty with f.c. but he had gf and was faithful despite her thottery
>fast forward a month of grabass and more flirting
>curve all her attempts at hooking up successfully so far
>restaurant owners throw 4th of july party for everyone
>dinner is chill but waitress gets very aggressive at bar afterparty
>literally grabs my dick and tells me we can fuck in her car outside
>i take a pass and drive home while i still can
>fast forward a couple days
>hear that after i left she tried to hook up with almost every guy at the party
>ended up with the new guy because he didn't know any better
>new guy got trapped in relationship for a few months before realizing he was eskimo bros with half the restaurant

>>14211450
Why didn’t you fuck?

>>14211456
i had to feed my cat, i was out drinking the night before and didn't return home before going to the party the next day.

>>14211484
Holy based.

>>14211484
You should have brought her home, fucked and fed your cat.

>>14211344
>americans don't learn to always tighten the salt cap in middle school
Really?

>wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat
>remember i forgot to get that guy the cocktail sauce he asked for in 2013

anyone else know that feel

>>14211855
>build burgers at local pub
>forget to put cheese on like 5 in a row
>always confuse the BBQ versions with the originals
>who gives a shit

>>14211344
ive literally never used a salt or pepper shaker in my entire life

>>14211855
if you consider this embarrassing, take comfort in the fact that you're probably the only person that remembers any of your embarrassing moments

>>14211255
I used to be a waitress and this Bill Gates looking customer came in to have a 4 hour long meal alone with appetizer and several course menu or whatnot. Maybe it was just his face but he wouldn't stop smiling. Anyways when I walked by I made eye contact and I saw he was shaking his hand under the table a lot. I immediatly thought he was mastrubating of course but just ignored it. Weeks later heard my colleagues caught him mastrubating while they were going to serve his food and the chef kicked him out. I guess that's what gets these people off that have paraphilic/fetish disorders.

Seen a lot of couples act really close though and making out on the chairs or infront of the bar which is even closer and more repulsive. Makes me feel sick to my stomach and relate to Elliot Rodger a lot. Also have seen a lot of gay couples in my time at the restaurant. Even a polygamous 4 couple. They're extremely faggy and woman-like I've noticed. They would always make snide reactions infront of me to their partner like they hate eachother or something. But they did always spend a lot of money on drinks so homosexuals were always treated very nicely in the restaurant.

Also tons of stories of drunk customers and fights.

>>14211990
>Bill Gates fapping at the table
>whatever
>couples kissing
>save me Elliot!

>>14212008
So? Seeing people kiss infront of you is traumatizing for me. Happend also all the time when I went with public transport. Saw two couples making out infront of me. Just people being very affectionate, I can't handle that stupid cringe shit. I'm almost 23 and still a KHV.

>>14212023
the absolute disgusting sounds they make like they are in a porno.

>>14212023
tism

>>14212023
i wonder why.

>>14212023
Fucking weirdo

>>14212023
What’s wrong with you

>be me at restaurant
>2013
>request cocktail sauce
>it never comes
Ruined my day. How hard is it to remember such a simple request?

>>14211255
>people beg me to go to restaurants
>humor them
>never offer anything with the nutrient density I'm accustomed to
>try to eat it anyway
>too oily
>unable to eat more but still hungry and unsatisfied
>I don't go to restaurants anymore

>>14211509
So you're saying he should have brought her home
And have her watch him fuck and feed his cat
Based

> go to eat with friends
> everyone gets their food but me
> wait 5 extra minutes then ask the waiter
> he apologizes and brings food but doesn’t bring the side I ordered
> ask him when it’s coming he says soon
> get through the whole meal without seeing the side
> ask for bill without seeing the side and he realizes his mistake
> asks if I want it still
> tell him I’ll take it to go
> he fucking brings it on a plate
> tip him 10 cents

>>14213796
I was serving you in 2013. It was at a fucking waffle house. We don't have fucking cocktail sauce at fucking waffle house.

I worked as a manager in a restaurant.
Our servers made about $16/hour in tips on average over any given 4 week period. Usually lots of shitty nights and then one bazooka night.
Every night the place wound up filthy due to the nature of the concept (it was an unusual place, I can't say more. trust me that it got real messy). Three hours of close-down cleanup, longer if I didn't help.
I couldn't punish anyone for doing bullshit because they all knew I couldn't fire them because I couldn't replace them.

It was a nightmare and I got walked over all the time and our reviews were trash. My self esteem has not recovered. I'm worried I will always be an incompetent.

>>14211855
I'm this guy:
>>14214576

I wake up in the middle of the night remembering all the employees I yelled at who didn't deserve it and were working their hardest in an environment that is understaffed, undersupplied, and undertrained. I dread the day I see one of them in person.

>went to Red Lobster one time with my mom
>faggot waiter SITS DOWN at our table to talk and take our order

>>14214576
>>14214591
cahhhhringe!

>>14211255
>Cheap hole in the wall next to school
>Food is actually bretty good so we go there all the time
>There is this old boomer who sits in the same table every day and has the exact same meal
>Steak with tatos
>Massive brick of strawberry icecream for dessert
Sorry day sitting alone in that table eating away his icecream spoon by spoon
That place closed down, some chain pizza store took its place. I like to think the boomer died the next day, he just didn't have anywhere to go eat his icecream anymore

>>14211273
Based and downs pilled.

>>14214621
I fucking hate that shit

>>14214963
Ok dude. We're just trying to have fun.

>>14211255
>have Chinese food restaurant really close to house
>ate here for 10 years since child
>all their food was exceptional and cheap
>but their fried rice was on another level
>amazingly dry rice with this amazing thin layer of powdery geese on it
>was fluffy and light on stomach
>there was this indescribable flavor to it like delicious copper
>veggies were crispy yet paradoxically fresh and green
>the eggs where these thin long strings that are impossible to make despite my years of trying
>chicken and pork were godtier. the pork was basically chunks of delicious marinated bacon fat
>eat their fried rice like twice+ a week

>one day go into store and weird plack on wall
>Apparently this is a Michilan 2 star restaurant now
>Price of fried rice doubles over the month
>tons of people in place now its always super packed
>food starts to not be as good

>a few months later Chinese food closes down
>he moved his restaurant to Austin

;_;

>>14211930
I used to think like this until a few people reminded me of the embarrassing moments I would lie awake at night thinking about. Now I'm paranoid that everyone remembers all the stupid shit I've done.

Told this in another thread but I’ll tell it again
>21
>working at mom and pop pizzeria, been there for a few years now
>broke up with gf
>this girl who is an 18yo senior in high school that’s been working there since I she was 15 starts to get extremely flirty with me when she finds out in single, weird because she was always a cunt to me before
>but she’s cute as fuck so we hit it off
>one of the pizza guys I’m cool with noticed that we hit it off
>he’s like 29 and has been trying his luck with her since she got hired
>one day as work in winding down girl and I sit in a both and eat some mozz sticks together
>notice this guy is staring at us
>known him for years, he starts being an ultra dick to me
>holding up deliveries if I’m working, setting up the other drivers shit like that
>next day after he sees us in the both the owner comes by and calls a meeting with all the drivers
>he says that he has heard some of us smoke pot on delivery and needs it to stop. He doesn’t care what we do on our free time just not at work
>no one stops smoking on delivery
>literally the entire restaurant including the main store manager and the creeper smokes on the job, it’s a godamn pizzeria
>two days later the owner calls me and says he heard I was smoking and selling pot in the back and he fires me and tells me I’m lucky to not get turned into the police since he likes me
>whatever
>few months later the manager of that store gets angry with owner and leaves and opens his own store, creeper becomes main store mananger
>my old manager calls me to work at his store and I’m in charge of hiring drivers.
>at this point I had hooked up with the girl but hadn’t seen her in a while since I got fired
>first day I get to my new job she’s there too
>she tells me the shit that she went through following me getting fired
Cont.

>>14211484
you're a good man. dodged a bullet too.

>>14215511
Cont.
>after I got fired and the main store manager left the creep had her closing every night with him
>she didn’t mind because she wanted to work all summer to have money for college
>during this time she got a boyfriend and on her off day they went there to eat together and the creep was sending her dick pictures he had taken before and was sending them to her while at the table
>he would do shit like stand right behind her and have her ass rub on his cock area
>she also says, and my manager confirmed it and said it was one of the reasons he fell out with the boss, that anytime she was hanging out with another guy from work he would jump chain of command and go straight to the owner about people doing drugs to get them fired. I was the first one to go but half the restaurant got fired because they made the mistake of talking to her
> even busboys who were 15 and nerdy that she want flirting with were getting fired
>one day my manager calls him out on trying to play the HR game and go over his authority and getting guys fired for smoking pot and doing coke when he was smoking pot and doing coke with them all the time
>this led to the creep calling him out in front of the owner about drug use and led to their falling out, which was fucked up because my manager and the owner knew each other for 10+ years at that point.
>manager is confirming all this while she’s telling this to me
>he hired a bunch of females, even as busboys lol.
>it all led to one night where one of the older waitresses threw a work party and the creep gave the girl I knew a beer and she woke up in a random bed
>thankfully it was the waitresses bed and the waitress had said she saw her passing out while the creep was making out with her on the couch and got her out of the situation

>>14215578
Cont.
>fast forward to five years later
>a week ago (which is why I’m reposting this story) I called my old boss to see how he was doing
>he asks me if I had heard anything about the creep
>tell him no why Whatsup
>he says about two years ago he got married to a cashier there (she was still a senior in high school lol)
>about three months ago he got caught by one of the cooks getting blown in the office by a 16 year old
>he tried to bribe the cook, and the cook, like an asshole, took the bribe, spent it on coke and called the owner at 5 in the morning while he was coked out and told him everything.
>owner calls the girl who confirms this was a nightly occurrence and that the creep was giving her money from the register every night on top of paying her $12 an hour when the cashiers only make like $9 an hour at most
>owner goes through the books and fires him and tells the guys wife why he was fired
>guys working at another pizzeria now and probably still being a creep toward women.

>>14212023
have sex bro. the people PDAing aren't doing anything wrong. you're the one with the problem.

>>14215622
Good to hear the ending

>>14215622
Needs to have his penis cut off. This way he eventually kills himself.

>>14215821
There’s a lot of creeps in the restaurant business.

>>14214576
>be me
>working in a liquid sausage restaurant
>manager sits in corner booth all night eating plate after plate of liquid sausage
>Liquid boudin noir pouring down his chin and onto the floor
>pool of pigs blood
>yells "Clean it up! or Don't! I don't give a fuck, this place is going down in flames every night!"
>He moves on the liquid bratwurst, sending hot sausage all over the table as he attacks it with his bare hands
>watches as we clean his mess 6 nights a week
>restaurant eventually fails after too many bad reviews and outbreaks of trichinosis
Never heard from him again. He was really sad when the place closed. Loved liquid sausage. I hope he's really depressed

>>14211450
an entire half of this post is zoomer lingo I can't understand

>>14212023
based

>>14215920
>liquid sausage

What?

>>14216485
Do you not know what an Eskimo brother is?

>>14216573

>>14215082
what's the name of the restaurant

A waitress tripped and a sizzling fajita plate slid off her tray and landed on an old guys hand

I stopped giving a fuck about making pizzas and would spit on the bottom of each pepperoni to give them a little adhesive to the pizza

>like my steak medium-rare
>shitty local restaurant overcooks it at least 50% of the time
>start ordering rare steaks
>get medium-rare half the time, rare the rest of the time
>start to enjoy the rare steaks on the occasional time they cook what I ask for
>start ordering blue steaks
>get at least a nice rare steak every time
>start enjoying blue steaks
And thats the story of how I became a homosexual.

>>14217079
So you were coming back to suck the cooks off in the gloryhole?

>>14217079
I can understand the homosexual genesis thing, but if you like blue steaks why not just buy it straight from the grocery store? Like... a restaurant is just going to put it on a plate for you for 4x the cost

>>14217087
The town I live in literally had 1 (one) restaurant until like 2014.
There's 3 here now. I take what I can get.
I started cooking my own steaks but it's too late now, all I enjoy is raw meat.

>>14216582
You might be a zoomer if you don’t know what an Eskimo brother is.

>>14217108
What kind of flyover shit hole do you live in?

>>14217126
nah, just not a cuckoldry connoisseur

>>14217165
You’re a fucking zoomer

>>14217180
project harder zoomer cuckold

>>14217190
>I don’t know what an Eskimo brother is you guys are zoomers!!!!
Nice try faggot. You’re 17 at the most.

>>14217232
more cope from the cuckold

>>14217247
>c-c-cuck!
Nice try zoomie. Go ask your mommy for vbucks. Half of us here are Eskimo brothers because of her.

>>14212023
same here, i had to once go to a doctor's appointment and i had to watch a couple make out for like 20 mins because it was the only waiting area they had. afterwards some normie ass doctor kept gaslighting me with her accomplices. i fucking hate normies.

>>14217368
>z-z-zoomer!
nice try cuckold, go ask your bull for a nintendo switch

>>14216702
Guy Fieri's El Burro Borracho

>>14211990
>fetish disorders
Homosexuality?

>>14217087
>So you were coming back to suck the cooks off in the gloryhole?
>>14217108
>it's too late now, all I enjoy is raw meat
That's not a no...

>>14216499
>liquid sausage
I'm pretty sure that anon is just fucking with us but liquid sausage is a VERY uncommon term for hash which is basically just sausage filling in broth.

>>14217126
>you might be a zoomer if you don't know this term from a TV show
lmao

>>14218339
Everyone over 30 knows what an Eskimo brother is dope harder zoomer

>>14216485
If you dont understand this jargon you might be the zoomer

>>14218460
I’m over 40 and I have no idea what Eskimo brother means.

Judging by context, I assume it has something to do with having sex with the same person or something?

>>14214576
>Every night the place wound up filthy due to the nature of the concept
Peanut floor roadhouse

>>14216499
>The joke
>Your head

>>14219356
Go home boomer

>>14211255
>be gig working delivery biker
>reasonably /fit/ and /fa/shionable
>new qt working at restaurant I regularly deliver for
>flirt with her
>she reciprocates
>next time I come to pick up food
>ugly manager tries to flirt
>yeah noty, just doin my job
>new qt gets pushed to working back of the house
>eventually doesn't work there anymore
why are the qtest restaurant workers working the front always bullied when they're noticed?

>>14217108
I'm surprised you have internet

>working FOH in little family run restaurant
>guy comes in every day and orders same thing, coffee and cake and sausage buttie
>served him most of the time because I was usually working at the time he comes in
>got his order ready for when he comes in after he'd been a regular for awhile, which he seemed to appreciate
>never said much more to him than the usual, and he didn't say anything other than order and manners
>ended up remembering him as that quiet sausage guy
>new qt waitress starts
>about six months in, I'm with her on bar
>ended up taking a call and went in back while she worked
>few minutes into the call I poke my head out to check everythings ok
>only customer at the counter is the quiet sausage cake guy
>waitress is chatting to him making smalltalk whilst doing coffee
>guy seems ok with it, he just chats with her and have a little laugh and giggle
>finish call and go back out
>he's just about got his food and about to leave
>he looks at me so I give him a nod while cutie says bye in a flirty tone
>he says bye back with a smile
>never returned
>week later cutie quits because she thought she scared him away
She must have because I saw him a few days later gettiing coffee from another cafe, so he wasn't dead.

>>14215622
man pizzerias sounds pretty degenerate

>>14211265
lol you never woke up!

>>14219689
What? All the cuties I’ve ever worked with were harassed and given all the hours they wanted whether they were good at their job or not.

>>14219931
Autism

>>14220016
Just about all restaurants I worked at are full of horny white trash but the pizza places were always the worst.

>>14214621
Oh my god kek

>want a nice cheap meal
>sit down at what I think looks like an inexpensive place
>look at menu
>way too much
>feel too embarrassed to leave, I already said hello to the waitress
>eat and pay for food
>feel like shit for the rest of the day, blew my budget and can't afford other things

>>14221963
what place is this? you can just walk in with no reservation and its that expensive?

>>14222009
Chuck E Cheese

>>14211344
>eating at a restaraunt with food so shitty you have to add more seasoning yourself

>>14222155
>being such an autistic prancing faggot that you turn your nose up at people that want to use a fucking salt shaker

>>14222182
>paying for food you don't like

>>14211484
stupid shit like this has saved me so many times
I've paid for my fair share of abortions and morning after pills, but this kinda shit saves me more than anything.
>t. 8/10 chad nearing thirty and still plowing college girls taking gen eds

Gonna finish of for the day in this small café, Check out the toilets. In one of the toiletbowl lies a canonball sized turd. How is that even possible?
I leave it in disgust.

>>14211273
>>14211316
>>14211421
>>14214702
mongoloids have a genetic defect (well they have lkot of them) but specifically many of them never feel full. They may also have not much sense of taste or smell (like most snobs).

My adopted cousin is one and he would eat himself sick if we didn't watch him. He would also sneak a giant glass of milk in to his room sit and watch tv while playing with his toys and drink the milk. sometimes the milk would sit there for several days and go bad. he'd still drink it then shit and puke all over everything. luckily I never had to clean it up. Also when my mother was taking care of him she would make a giant container of slop for him. It was nutritious but I would not have eaten it. it contained (among other things):
Rice or noodles
Canned vegetables (whatever was on hand)
beans
cheese
sliced up hotdogs or maybe hamburger.
whatever else was available.

They'd serve it up to him in a small bowl cold. he didn't care. he'd eat a dead dog if you cut it up for him.

>>14211344
I always check the lids of salt an pepper shakers because I used to do this as a kid.

>>14218460
54 YO here, never heard of it.

>>14213826
holy fucking autsim

>>14220016
Most pizzerias have simple menus that don’t require a fuck ton of training to learn whether you are on the FOH or BOH side so it attracts a weird combo of inexperienced high schoolers and guys who lack the skill to work at other restaurants. That is not to say that I have not met hard working, talented cooks or pizza makers at pizzerias, I have met plenty who enjoy the pay, security and benefits a certain company will give them. But it attracts a lot of scum also.
Most large fast food locations are a little stricter with hiring as well.

My old jobs’ definition of a background check was seeing if someone was a sex offender that couldn’t be around high schoolers and that was it. I’ve worked with plenty of former armed robbers and drug traffickers.
Tl;dr: mom and pop pizzerias are at a weird middle ground. They’re like purgatory in a lot of ways.

>>14222957
>former armed robbers and drug traffickers
The former probably help you not get held up, the latter can sell you pot.

>>14222980
I’ve had one cook threaten to kill a customer who was being loud and belligerent and refusing to leave. That was pretty funny.
There was also a busboy who was bouncing from job to job and was in and out of jail and we are pretty sure he tried to rob the store after work one day.

>>14211255
Overheard a woman tell her young child "pockets are your phone holes"

>>14223153
What

>>14223173
I assume she didn't want the kid storing fries in there to eat later, or ice cream.

>>14223173
>>14223192
Nah the kid was like ten and the food they ordered had just come out so she told the kid "Put your phone away. Pockets are your phone holes."
It was well over a year ago that this happened and I still think about it sometimes

"What's in a BLT?"

I swear to fucking Christ people can barely read, listen, and write in my town that I work in.

>>14223237
>"What's in a BLT?"
It's Baccardi, Lime and Tequila.
Shake and open pour, slam it down fast.
Not really my drink but if you need to get fucked up in 30 seconds flat I guess it will do the job.

>>14211255
I placed a large breakfast order at McDonald's (like 10 burritos, 10 sausage McMuffins, and 20 hashbrowns) for something at work. The cashier asked if was for there or to go. It was so early in the morning that we looked at each other blankly then she realized there was no way any one fucking human would eat all that.

>>14211484
You satisfied the right pussy.

>>14214528
You could make a pseudo cocktail sauce with stuff available at Waffle House
>Ketchup
>Worcestershire sauce or A1 sauce
>Red chili flakes to replace horseradish
It's not perfect, but it could work fine.

>>14212023
Regular quick kissing is fine, and handholding and some PDA like that is fine as well, but seeing other people make out and shit in public is too far, I also can't stand people saying "schmoopy bear" and shit like that if they're out of high school.

>>14223361
WIth mayo it would be perfect.

>>14223418
Mayo is a hair product

>>14223498
Also an ingredient in Thousand Island and Russian dressing which are pretty much what burgers mean by cocktail sauce.
If you don't have the horseradish and lemon juice for cocktail sauce, mayo is probably the sensible substitute and any wafflehouse is going to have that I'd think.

>>14223572
Yea sure

>>14214576
iktf of bring walked all over as being an assistant manager at a certain sandwich shop i dont want to name.

>>14223818
Quiznos head ass

>17
>working at a restaurant in St Augustine
>meet this cutie who gets hired same day I do
>we hit it off immediately
>find out she has a boyfriend through some body else
>Don’t worry about it, we start hooking up
>her boyfriend finds out
>her boyfriend is some dude who’s father was extremely wealthy
>he confronts me in the back of the restaurant, tells me to stay away, girl quits the job, I get fired since he made a scene
>very next day I see the girl again
>she breaks up with the guy
>get a new job
>he comes to my job and says he wants to talk
>tell him to leave, my manager tells him to leave as well, he shoves my manager to the floor and pushes me
>I glass him
>immediately leave
>get my shit from my sisters house
>drive back home to South Florida.
>stay at a friends house
>girl and sister call me saying the cops are looking for me
>tell them both I’m at my moms house
>mom calls me the next day, says cops are looking for me
>decide to leave Miami and head up the east coast since I have family scattered all in the NYC and Boston area
>pop Ritalin and make the drive in 21 hours
>get a call from the sheriff in St Johns County
>he says that the situation is serious, I have a warrant out for battery and assault with a deadly weapon
>hang up and throw my phone out the window
>get to NYC, call my mom ask for family members information
>she begs me to turn myself in
>refuses to give me families contact info
>go to an Internet cafe, log onto MySpace, contact my cousin
>get to his place
>at this point I have 0 money so I sell him all my Ritalin and he gets me a job as a busboy working under the table
>did this for a year
>was actually a great year in my life
>eventually get arrested after my friend gets pulled over and they see my warrant
>shipped back down to Florida
>Plead down to a misdemeanor do a 364 days in jail bid, actually end up doing half that for good behavior.

>>14223886
You were retarded. A lawyer would have gotten you off with something pretty minor and self-defence wasn't out of the question (though not easy since you used a glass or bottle and he was unarmed).

When you say "I glass him", unless you mutilated his face, it wouldn't be that serious since he already knocked a complete stranger down and was going for you and had followed you to a new job to do it, clearly with violent revenge in mind. He was in serious trouble already if you weren't retarded.

>>14223936
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not as easy to fuck people up or kill them in self defense in Florida or the United States as the media portrays it out to be

>>14223936
>getting in a legal battle
>against some rich fuck
>in the fucking US of A

You naive retard

Got fired from a pizza delivery job. The boss appeared to be an alcoholic, with the big red nose. His name was Don. So we called it Don-the-Nose Pizza. He claimed I was stealing. I wasn't.

>>14223572
Cocktail sauce is just ketchup with horseradish in it.

>>14223997
>against some rich fuck
Aren't the cops the ones you're dealing with at that point?
And the guy is dealing with them too.
You pretty much have to be the one to call them.

>>14223946
>Contrary to popular belief, it’s not as easy to fuck people up or kill them in self defense in Florida or the United States as the media portrays it out to be
The dude went to a business, made a scene and attacked two people there. Glassing is disproportionate force but not unwarranted.

Unless anon is in some small-town shithole where the dude's daddy owns the big company in town or paid for the sheriff's election campaign he's not in that much trouble.

>>14224046
Yeah but horseradish is usually creamy and they don't have that, so mayo and A1 will approximate it.

>>14224047
>Aren't the cops the ones you're dealing with at that point?

Are you dumb or something? You think cops sentence you?

>>14224047
St Augustine isn’t a shit hole but it small and southern

>>14224051
>Are you dumb or something? You think cops sentence you?
No, that would be the court after the cops do everything before then.
But courts don't sentence you for charges that the cops don't charge you with and plenty of charges can get dropped well before then, especially if your lawyer lays out a half-way plausible defence.
Then the prosecutor has to agree that there's sufficient evidence etc to have a decent chance of conviction though they're more likely to proceed on anything that might stick than worry about whether it's legit or not.

Right at the start and up until prosecutors get involved, the cops are in fact who you're dealing with. The other guy doesn't have a good story, there are two victims only loosely related with them not having any reason to lie for each other, the ex is in a bad spot, anon not so much.
Literally, anon's lawyer just needs to present it as:
>he'd attacked one guy and knocked him down
>he charged my client
>my client was frightened and in fear for his life and safety
>my client then grabbed the nearest available object with which to defend himself
He could even play up that he hadn't used a kitchen knife or any other more lethal implement available in a restaurant.

I'm not saying anon might not get a charge for something but there's certainly a chance of walking away and the charge isn't likely to be serious due to the very strong mitigating circumstances.
Unless of course, the dude's daddy owns the town and drinks at the country club with the sheriff, DA and judge but at that stage we're not really shitposting on 4chan, we're watching an episode of Dallas.

>>14219931
>establish a comfy routine
>food is good, no one bothers you and you can eat in peace
>one day a thot appears
>won't shut the fuck up, probably thinks that if she's flirty she'll get a better tip
>don't want to be rude but don't want to deal with this shit either
>write the place off and move on

>>14211484
Based

>go work
>clock in
>make food
>clean stuff
>clock out
>go home
>be sad
>go sleep
>wake up
>go work
>clock in
>make food
>clean stuff
>clock out
>go home
>be sad
>go sleep
>wake up
>go work
>clock in
>make food
>clean stuff
>clock out
>go home
>be sad
>go sleep
>wake up
>go work
>clock in
>make food
>clean stuff
>clock out
>go home
>be sad
>go sleep
>wake up
>go work
>clock in
>make food
>clean stuff
>clock out
>go home
>be sad
>go sleep
>wake up
>go work
wala

>enter restaurant alone
>record scratch
>whole restaurant goes silent and stares at me (including the lobsters)
>hang me head and walk out
>whole restaurant erupts in raucous laughter
>can still hear it while waiting at the bus stop several blocks away
>in the rain

I was @ hooters and this hot waitress came over to me and I fucked her I fucking fucked her dude

>>14212023
a couple could fuck their brains out right in front of me and I wouldn't care but I do get a bit sad when I see couple's holding hands in public

>>14217079
>Go to Portuguese resteraunt in town
>Generic menu with regional themes
>Order a steak rare
>Arrives medium to well done
>Inform waitress, but keep the plate
>Minutes later
>Yelling, slamming, shouting all coming from the kitchen
To this day, I wonder if it was someone new getting blasted or a chef just tired of life

>>14222471
fuck. i'm never having a son.

kitchen stories are better

>>14212023
stop being envyous

Are retail stories ok?

>be me yesterday
>wagie grocery manager
>my associate on the same aisle calls me over for something
>not sure whats happening
>an old lady and her daughter walk past me and there is an old man approaching from the end of the aisle
>everything seems normal
>my associate begins to speak to me when the ladies start yelling at the old guy
>He starts yelling back
>I tell everyone to calm down, still have no idea what's going on
>Man rushes to hit old lady with his cart, pretty hard
>I grab the cart and stand in between them
>Guy gets in my face and everyone is still yelling at eachother
>Try to radio for help, but can't get a word out over all the shouting
>Guy almost looks like he's going to hit me
>I can't touch him, might lose my job, don't want to hit him because he's old and I'd probably hurt him
>All I can think is "Fuck I'm going to have to buy new glasses"
>Do what I can to deescalate the situation
>Thankfully a bunch of other managers show up and guy ends up getting kicked out of the store
>on his way out he's calling everyone cowards and pussies and tells one manager to eat shit out of his asshole lol

Apparently he got mad because the ladies were standing in his way or something so he started following them. Each day that passes I grow increasingly misanthropic.

>>14224043
How did this come about?

>>14224390
Autism

>>14224645
What is this

>>14225112
Old men are usually miserable.

>>14225232
That's a gas chamber oven used in the holocaust

>>14225232
Looks like a never-cleaned exhaust vent dripping the residue from oily smoke.

>>14211255
sucked my girlfriends toes in a pizza parlor

>>14224634
>Portuguese
>Yelling, slamming, shouting all coming from the kitchen
Every Portuguese place ive been.

>>14225488
What is Portuguese food like

>>14211356
The WHOLE restaurant?

>>14225649
Food

>>14225237
ok stacy

>>14212023
My girlfriend constantly tries to make out with me in public, but i refuse because i have the exact same mindset as you

>>14219450
>>The joke
>>Your head

What?

>>14211923
Based grinderbro

>>14217368
I don't know what an eskimo bro is, but I can bloody well infer.

>>14223237
I have no idea what a BLT is. I assume the B stands for bacon.

>>14227029
Big Long Taco

>>14219931
>>14224390
autism or not that's pretty sad

>>14224051
a cop's first impression is the court's first impression
it is a big fucking deal

>>14224611
"Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I'm miserable now"

>>14224604
FUCK

>>14211265
Great tale, friend. Mind if I screencap for future postings?

>>14224611
Too much porn

>>14227624
It’s not the end all be all

>>14222322
That’s not being a chad that’s being a degenerate

>>14228016
Anon didn't say it was, they said that it's a big fucking deal, which it is.
Also, you can't be convicted for anything that the cops don't charge you with so finessing that first encounter is incredibly important.

>>14223886
>drive back home to south florida
there it is.

>>14228366
What’s that supposed to mean

>>14228430
Presumably the explanation of why anon was a retard who'd prefer to do a year in jail (minus good behavior) than get a lawyer and face the music.

>>14228612
If you were a real nigga you would understand

>>14228888
Other anon suggests that you only need to read the south florida comment to understand.

>>14211273
>Waiter at a restaurant
>Customer barges in the kitchen because food isn't ready in half an hour despite not ordering before hand
>Chef stabbing his hand out of rage
>Manager literally brought whores and stayed late which prevent us from leaving
>Old rich guy forgot his Cuban cigars and I smoked them all
>Guy with Parkinson that got all the coffee on the floor while I was serving someone next to him
>Co worker got locked in the freezer and we forgot about him
>everyone either smoked two packs or were drunk half of the time
>Got yelled out by manager because some retarded kitchen staff forgot the boss's food on top of the oven
>Dodged a plate to the face that was thrown at a chef by another chef
>Once saw a Co waiter roll up his sleeves and went in the kitchen to KO a chef
>Once seen a man get thrown in the dining area back first through the kitchen
I swear the shit that happens in restaurants behind the scenes is fucking brutal. It was a restaurant for army personnel though so that might explain the general insanity of the place.

>>14228904
If you were a real nigga you wouldn’t ignore those digits

>>14228988
>working as a delivery boy for a few years
>new guy gets hired
>have to train him
>he’s a wigger to the max
>within two hours of meeting him he tells me he’s a drug dealer
>he sees that I listen to electronic music
>asks me if I roll
>I do
>tells me he has some really good clean shit
>ask him if he tested it
>yea he says
>ask him with what test
>”you know the test I forgot what it’s called”
>what color was it
>I forgot but I can bring some tomorrow
>tell him I’m not going clubbing anytime soon but if he wants to sure
>next day he comes
>break out my testing kit
>he had “molly” and some press pills
>test it
>the molly was salt the press was acetaminophen
>tell him I’m not buying it
>he gets angry
>ask to see my testing kit
>he dumps the liquid out in petty rage
>step on his foot and shove him to the ground
>he gets real apologetic when he realizes I was about to curb stomp him
>lie and tell him the shit cost $50
>it’s like $20 on the internet
>he then says he was angry that he got ripped off
>calls the “guy” in front of me
>whatever
>I take deliveries
>some random dude shows up the back and says he wants to talk to me
>tell him I’m good I don’t talk to strangers
>he says we are about to become very familiar
>oh shit
>tell him I’ll be right back, ask wigger who that is
>he says it’s his guy
>we both go outside to talk to him
>he starts cursing me out
>apparently wigger told a bunch of people what happened and now half of this dudes clientele is asking for refunds
>tell him I didn’t call anyone
>guy gets out of his car
>he’s somehow a smaller manlet than me
>when he gets close I chin check him
>he goes to sleep
>leave on deliveries
Cont.

>>14229039
>take my time
>boss calls me asks me what the fuck is going on in the back, why is there police and paramedics and shit
>feign ignorance
>come back and cop asks me questions
>I don’t know I’m working am I being detained or can I continue to work?
>let’s me go, take all the deliveries because wigger is talking to cops
>after 45 minutes they leave
>guy got a concussion, that’s it
>next few days nothing happens
>then my tires get slashed and my car gets keyed
>few days later one of the busboys wants to talk to me
>says that he wigger and his guy did that to my car
>next day wigger is working, it’s my day off
>when he comes out I shove him to the ground from behind and tell him to watch this
>my cousin takes a crowbar to his back windshield
>tell him he is going to quit tonight after he’s done with work
>he refuses
>continues to work the next few weeks without a back windshield
>after this shit calms down
>wigger gets fired for writing tips on a credit card receipt
>boss compares tickets for deliveries he took over the last week and sees he’s been doing all week since his handwriting is so shitty it’s easy to spot
>during the crowbar incident he pays for my new tires
>few weeks later he’s killed in a car crash
>see his friend a few times after that. One day my coworkers and I are at a strip club and we see the guy by himself, drunk as fuck and we jump him outside the strip club
Having worked at that pizzeria for a few years I seen some shit

>>14229065
you sound like nigger

>>14229065
>another wigger gets hired
>he gets fired within four days for doing the same exact shit the other guy did, writing tips in credit cards
>his sister still works at the place though so he still shows up once in a blue moon
>he has a tattoo of a watch on his wrist (lol)
>one day after closing someone breaks the door and steals the (empty) register
>pizzeria has some of its lights on after closing since cops around here prefer businesses to have their lights on so they can see if people are breaking in
>thief is wearing a sweat shirt and mask but his sweat shirt sleeve moves up slightly during the break in and you can see the wrist watch tattoo
>dudes sister works the next day and when he comes to buy food he gets arrested by some cops that were dining in
>he gets his charges dropped for some reason later down the line though.

>>14229078
>go to restroom
>when I get in there I step on human shit
>big pile of it too
>angry for the rest of the night
>one of my regulars tells me I smell like shit
>tell him what happened
>he laughs and tips me $40 so I can buy a new pair of vans
>few years later I’m talking to a busboy who admitted to taking a shit on the floor of the restroom at this restaurant one time because the stalls were full and he couldn’t hold it in
>laugh about it and tell him I remember because I stepped in it
>embarrass him further by telling the boss in front of him that it was him that was the shitter
>cute waitress busboy had a crush on us there too
>busboy turns red
>we all call him shit stain after
>he gets a gf one day and they decide to dine in one night and everyone from the other busboys to the boss is calling him shit stain in front of his gf

>>14229094
>regular customer who is this redneck Seminole dude comes inside one time
>we think he’s drunk as fuck (he usually is) because he is stumbling
>waitress helps him to a booth
>he’s asked if he wants some food
>he gets some pasta
>making a mess while he’s eating
>we’re laughing our asses off
>then he starts having a seizure
>ambulance gets called
>dude almost died because he wasn’t drunk, he was high on opiates

>>14229100
>taking a delivery to the reservation
>it’s not like other reservations across the country, the seminoles get like 100k a year from casino benefits
>they all for the most part have a huge drug and alcohol problem
>take this delivery and knock on the door and a little girl answers
>she says she’s going to wake her mom up
>leaves door wide open
>can see her mom is passed out and drooling on her self
>is not waking up for anything
>another little girl tries to wake her up
>they’re paying cash so I can’t leave without getting cash
>girl comes back with her moms purse and takes out like $400 in 20s and tries to give it to me
>I take one $20 and call it a day
>get concerned because this lady looks dead
>call 911
>res PD gets there in 2 minutes
>the cop isn’t surprised, tells me this lady drinks a handle everyday before 3 and drinks another 1/5 every night.
>tells me they’ll take it from there
>take a delivery to that same house a few weeks later
>guy who looks like he’s 20 answers and can see the lady on the couch passed out in that same position as she was last time I took a delivery to her
>for the next few years I always take deliveries to this house, it’s always her kids answering and she is always passed out in the couch
>only time I ever see awake is during Halloween, she was sitting outside her porch smoking weed and she had a fifth of patron in her lap
>she was fucked up and gave me $75 for a $30 order
>visit the restaurant a few years later when I’m on leave from the military and the driver tells me the lady died.

>>14229123
>super bowl
>win all 4 quarters in the square game that people play where you guess the score
>in another restaurant I win 2 quarters there too
>it was the Pats Seahawks and I also won like $500 from gambling with coworkers
>walked out of work that night with $1500 and we all went to hooters and the manager of the other store gave me $500 from the quarters I won over there
>still have some of that money and my cash tips stashed at my moms till this day so when I go home on leave I just spend that. Have like $7000 there.

>be manager at a popular Texan fast food chain
>be extremely busy
>guy pulls up to the payment window
>pays
>refuses to pull forward
>i walk over, and ask him to pull forward
>"why?"
>So we can keep the line moving, the person infront of you pulled forward so you can pay.
>"i know how drivethrus work!!!! i have a college degree"
>???
>i ask him to pull foward again, and state that if he does not, i will give him a refund and send him on his way.
>he refuses, calls me and my retarded crew retards (verbatim)
>lmao, ok
>ring up refund
>hand him his cash
>"whats this?"
>your refund, you may exit out to the right
>he flips his shit, his wife flips her shit

Imagine wasting your time in a huge ass line just to be cucked for failing to follow basic instruction.

>>14229297
Did everyone clap?

>>14219931
>sausage buttie

>>14215622
>the cook, like an asshole, took the bribe, spent it on coke and called the owner at 5 in the morning while he was coked out and told him everything.

that's the most cook shit I've ever heard

>>14229133
there are these things called banks, ya know?

>>14222471
Too bad late term abortions aren't allowed. This is why I'm not having kids, imagine having to take care of a retard all your life

You are all full of shit.

>>14229065
based

>>14229563
Funny, I worked my last shit job taking care of crazy people with a new to the industry former line cook. He was a piece of abusive shit that talked big though he was new and got away with everything cus he was nigger friends with my nigger supervisor. Screamed at me a couple times and tried to threaten me like he was gonna kick my ass, but his bitch ass walked away as fast as he could. he had problems with everyone including me but the boss protected him. He used the rec money to buy and grill everyone food but really it was so he could pocket most of the meat and take it home. I finally got his dumb ass fired when he thought I would watch his aggressive client you had to always keep an eye on all day while he took off on the company car to deal with his angry girlfriend. I don’t know why he thought I would possibly cover his ass since we hated each other so I wrote an email so it wouldn’t get brushed under the rug and camera proved he took the company car and he got fired.
Not really a food job story but it made me realize what bottom of the barrel scum kitchen crew are and I’m glad I got him fired. Fuck you Cornelius you stupid fucking nigger. Enjoy serving nachos at the airport lol.

>>14213826
Based why pat 3-5 times the price for worse food when any poorfag with a kitchen can eat like a king at home.

>>14224604
No you didn't.

>>14229580
Don't imagine it. Just ask your mom.

>>14229813
Based?

Ive told this story before but I'll post it again

>Be me like a year ago
>Walk into McDonalds in Shakopee MN by Canterbury park
>Store bit h is out mopping floors and cleaning
>See name tag, name ends in "-berg"
>Immediately go to bathroom and shit on floor
>Wipe once and slam shit covered to into mirror
>Go to front counter and tell manager that someone destroyed their bathroom
>Leave without buying anything

Ive told this story before but I'll post it again

>>Be me like a year ago
>>Walk into McDonalds in Shakopee MN by Canterbury park
>>Store bitch is out mopping floors and cleaning
>>See name tag, name ends in "-berg"
>>Immediately go to bathroom and shit on floor
>>Wipe once and slam shit covered tp into mirror
>>Go to front counter and tell manager that someone destroyed their bathroom
>>Leave without buying anything

>>14224645
Not enough greentext stories round this site anymore

>>14230256
Based if true

>be sick for a few days
>blowitoutyourass.jpeg
>end result after endless shits is hemerroids
>oh well. shoulda used preparation H lol
>it doesnt work
>turns into something called thrombosis
>its a blood clot in my asshole that has to be removed via surgery
>someone kill me
>I get this funny guy doctor and smart ass nurse to cut my asshole and fucking cauterize it
>im in agonizing pain and bleeding quite a bit
>I know youre hurting anon, heres an Rx for Percocet
>things are looking up already
>do that dope lol
>playing vidya games at home in winnie the pooh uniform sitting on towel, ass is still bleeding pretty good
>im hungry
>clean myself up and go to mexican restaurant next to my house
>im wearing beige colored shorts for some reason
>its cool ill just put a piece of toilet paper on ass damage to clot the blood
>im high as a georgia pine on percocet
>eat tex mex food
>man this is good as fuck
>im full, time to pay at counter
>get up and see blood smeared on booth seat
>oh fuck ill just wipe this off with napkin
>as im doing this, waitress behind me asks if im ok
>um sir youre bleeding are you ok?
>I can now feel how wet my ass is with blood
>too high to be that embarresed
>quick-think of something witty and then go
>I tear up a bit
>look her in the eyes and say the doctor told me Id stop having periods
>im transitioning. this was supposed to be over already..
>she just covers her mouth in a omg face
>i dont know if she bought it
>I pay with 10 dollar bill
>its only like 25 cents left over
>good enough just leave lol
>literally run when I get outside
>the blood in my shorts is making a swishing sound
>mufuggin wet grass sound
>jump in truck and go home
the blood all washed out nicely in case youre wondering

>worked 2 years BOH in a very nice restaurant
>had to ride bike in pouring rain every day to get there
>started out dish washing for a year
>get promoted to cold line after someone quits
and i get fast enough
>get very good at garde manger, eventually get a car and apartment
>everyone is very mean to me, messes with me, hides shit behind my back etc
>do this for a year
>eventually quit and move on to working at other fancy restaurants
>been doing this almost 7 years now

It's a hard industry

One time I took a girl on a first date to a Denny's. She spilt her water on my lap then I came inside her.

>>14232136
Oh yeah, now we're married.

>>14232151
Nobody cares.

>>14230256
>trying this hard to be funny
Hope the /pol/ddit crossboarders leave after the next election and the site can return to normal instead of being 99% edgelords trying to make “epic” Jew or nigger jokes.

>>14232155
What the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch? I'd fuck your shit up bud I'll fuckin fist your dad fuckin go me

>>14232151
That's romantic

>>14232155
I do, so fuck off

Bunch of fucking crabs in here

>>14229512
I sincerely wish I was trolling.

>>14223886

It's florida bro, shoulda just killed the guy and gone about life like nothing ever happened.

I ate a whole pussy by the jukebox and it smelled bad

>>14232136

I was at Denny’s at 2 am in Evansville, Indiana and a dude at next table said he was “heading north and needed a ride to behind super Walmart.” We told him no and he said he wouldn’t give himself a ride either. Then said he’s from Tampa and the girls “get butt naked and do anything in ecstasy pills” before taking his shirt off to prove he wasn’t wearing a wire. I also met a guy there in full camp with dollar bills safety pinned to his shirt using the pay phone and asking someone about murders in California in 1982.

>>14232619
Yeah that sounds like Denny's. At least here in Canada I can get a beer there. I ordered a beer at a Denny's in North Dakota and the waitress starting laughing and asked if I was joking? Bitch im getting breakfast at midnight on a Friday drunk as hell, I want another beer.

>>14230256
This fucking pasta again. Fake and double gay.

>>14211255
>Group of friends all together at house party, drinking and having a great time
>1 a.m. rolls around, everyone hungry
>Girl in our group who stayed sober offers to drive everyone to local diner
>Fuck yeah
>Get there, sit down, order, having a good time
>Two haggard-ass guys stumble in
>Both look super fucked up
>One of them has hand wrapped in T-shirts, blood soaking through, blood on his shirt
>hahaOKjustmindyourownbusiness.jpg
>Right after sitting down and ordering their food, they get up and begin to walk out of the diner
cont.

>>14232729
>Waitress intercepts two guys at the door, asks them where they're going and if they still want food
>They tell her they're going to just wait in their car for the food to come out
>Weird, but OK
>Dudes parked right in front of huge diner window
>Clearly sitting in car shooting up
>Few minutes go by, and they're passed out in their car right in front of the diner window for everyone to see
>Waitress goes out to car to tell them their food is ready, but they're not stirring

Cops ended up being called, showed up and arrested the guy with the bloody hand. IIRC he told the waitress that he hurt himself trying to light a firework. Diners after midnight are great sources of entertainment, bros.

>>14211255
>be me
>food runner
>got the order of the tables backwards
>table x never got their chicken wings and kept reordering them/telling the waitress
>I kept on bringing the wings to table y
>table y thought it was endless wing night or some shit
>get yelled at by boss

>same boss is cleaning kitchen
>hand slips, falls into hot oil in the deep fryer, luckily the fryer had been off for a while so it was just enough for her hand to be all red and not completely fucked

>same restaurant
>now a bus boy
>really enjoy being a busboy
>anyway, taking box of dishes to dishwashing station
>fucking slip on the tile floor
>hit my head
>assistant boss asks me if I’m alright
>go to office
>give main boss my 2 weeks and go the fuck home

That place closed about 6 months later.

>>14211273

>>14211273
Imagine the shits this fella must take

>>14211840
What kind of shithole you live that the teachers need to teach the kids to fucking tight the salt cap.

>>14232126
>be me
>dishwasher
>everyone always plays grab ass with each other and does gay shit
>one day a cook who always grabs my ass and smacks it with towels bends down in front of me
>proceed to dry hump him
>he freaks the fuck out
>throws a pan at me
>gashes my face
>we both get fired
>he sends me texts of his guns and spells bullets out in my name
>ignore him

>be busboy
>be high as shit everyday
>cook is consistently drunk by 8PM
>waitress is always buying and selling ritalin, adderall, blow, wellbutrin, and vyvanse
>everyone is buying and selling to waitress
>manager once gets caught fucking different waitress in freezer
>owner has meeting, tells us he knows were all degenerates, but dont fuck in the freezer on shift
>dont fuck at all in the resturant actually
>gets caught a month later getting a blowie in office
>one night a string of complaints ruins the cooks night
>all night there is screaming and slamming
>waitress goes back to soothe things out
>everyone is doing lines
is there no end to the degeneracy?

>>14211353
cool story bro

>>14232126
>hides shit behind my back
Anyone that fucks with garmo is a fucking retard and any exec that tolerates this is also a mongoloid. High turn-over rates for sure. Did it not trigger any red flag for you there?
>do this for a year
And you're a retard for staying. Zero sympathies. Faggots like you are the reason why the industry is such a fucking shit hole.

Act like a doormat, expect to be stepped on. Fuck you.

>>14232921
>wellbutrin
wat? Why? Docs give no shits about prescribing that shit.

>>14233089
This
My mom is a walking pharmacy so ive got tons of benzos and opiates off her but she has a few years supply of Wellbutrin I didn't know anyone buys that shit.

>>14222289
...what? how is using a salt shaker paying for food you dont like? what type of personality disorder do you have? Im guessing OCPD if you cant even handle something common like adding a little salt. Do you not pay for food that isnt already cut up into bite sized pieces too you absolute baby?

Old story from mid 90s. Only half about a restaurant, other half is about life.

>Family owns a french restaurant at the edge of our city's downtown
>Doing relatively well, mostly due to an excellent head chef named Clade
>Dude's from Lyon, and went to Paul Bocuse's school
>His grandfather was also a chef from the same school, and it's a family lineage thing for them
>He has immense pride, and serious talent
>Taught me a lot of food-related things growing up, but mostly just shared experiences with me like sabre-ing champagne or shit
>Dude almost cried when he learned that I had never eaten a mushroom before (I was like 7 or 8?) and made me some morels in a sauce, so I ate it and told him it was the best thing I'd ever had
>My dad is owner (majority owner but not totally, I think?) but not front of house manager
>We're hands on a lot though since front of house guy is kinda of a noob so everyone takes on a little more work than they maybe should have
>Dad and me get in there and scrub down things, sometimes do dishes, despite having employees to do it
>Claude helps front of house guy figure a lot of things out, helps Dad with accounting and expenses, since this is not his first rodeo
>Couple years of success, and good fun, despite the stress of restaurant ownership
>Then he's getting deported suddenly
>Turns out Claude was here illegally, wrong VISA or some shit, I was too young to understand
>Restaurant across the street from us literally just called the police on a hunch after meeting Claude and noticing that his accent was really thick. They thought he was Turkish or Armenian or something and were worried about him working near them and the fucking loser couldn't tell the difference between either of those and a Frenchman
>Shut down restaurant, divide up supplies, Claude goes home, but leaves with us some of his things, it's teary and everyone's hurt
>We still cook at home, for ourselves, and I still learn a lot over time, but it's never the same

Cont.

>>14233141
Fast forward to around 2009
>Mom and Dad have split for unrelated reasons
>Divided up half of everything, including half of the leftover restaurant supplies and sentimental things which nobody really seems to care about anymore but me
>Mom gets an old black and white photo of Claude's grandfather standing next to Paul Bocuse both wearing chef's jackets and tall hats that we had enlarged and framed because it was cool
>Mom also gets some old recipes
>Dad gets Claude's cast iron skillet which he left with us when he went back since it was too heavy for him to bring with his luggage during deportation
>Dad got a couple knives too, I think?
>The importance of that pan was not lost on any of us, even me as a kid
>The rest of the big stacks of white plates and fluted glasses and candlesticks and blahblahblah got divided up, most of it packed up and forgotten in basements
>Anyway dad dies not too long after, maybe a year? Heart-related, family condition that got to his father and his brother as well
>Mom's moved away, Dad's gone, I'm left in this big fucking house, so we sell it, and we auction off (or just throw away) most of what's inside.
>Mom still has her half of the tableware, and the photo, but the motherfucking cast iron pan got auctioned for pennies while I wasn't there along with the rest of our family's regular jackoff cookware

Cont.

>>14233146

>Haven't spoken to Claude in over a decade
>He e-mails me after dad dies with the regular stuff:
>"Heard about your father. It's very sad. I hope you and your mother are well. Etc."
>It's a hard time for me, in general, and I'm fucking crushed by this kindness, so I write him a response, but mention that I really wanted to keep the pan
>He laughs it off, like to him it didn't mean as much, I don't know, but over the next few days works with me during the day, sending pictures of other cast iron pans, comparing prices, telling me what brands are trustworthy and etc.
>I finally buy my own, and he seems to approve, and says some uplifting shit like, "Okay now you have your own to cook for the people you love, and give to somebody some day before you go"
>And it's true, I do. I cook for my girlfriend almost every day, no interest in opening a restaurant, but we just made a pork loin pan sauce in that thing like two days ago, and before that, corn bread, and I continue to use it all the fucking time, more than a person probably normally should use a whole big cast-iron pan
>It just reminds me of better times, and makes me sort of...whistful while cooking and I always try to use the act of cooking and eating as a relaxing and enjoyable experience

I actually haven't spoken with Claude since then. I think he might actually have died, he'd be about that age.

>>14232066
I want so badly for this to be a true story

>>14224640
>>14229580
>aw man theres no way id ever take a real risk or invest in my families future for any reason. Id rather be a genetic dead end rather than care for someone else. I have my own selfish needs to satisfy every waking hour, dont you know.
absolute soyniggers

Pretty much pic related after the restaurant brought my steak out and it was rare even though I ordered medium.

>>14233105
>>14233089
once every month or so we'll run dry of everything because of scrip timing and everyone being broke addicts but she always has wellies as like consolation.

>>14233189
>res of other cast iron pans, comparing prices, telling me what brands are trustworthy and etc.
>>I finally buy my own, and he seems to approve, and says some uplifting shit like, "Okay now you have your own to cook for the people you
Why would you even want them?
It's pretty much a drug in search of a condition, it's not good for anything.

>>14233221
gives most people a stimulant-like burst of energy, satisfies the urge to consume drugs on shift

>>14228993
he a bitch. fuck white pipo

>>14233154
I'm Armenian. The though of getting mixed up with some cumskinned french faggot seriously pisses me off.

>>14233451
You're just a jew from turkey

>>14233459
I'm not, I know my family lineage, you cumskinned mutt. And even if I was, I'd rather be that than some coward frenchman cumskinned faggot.

>>14233463
No, you definitely are. Fucking parasites.

>>14233451
>>14233459
>>14233481
Take your racial shit to >>>/pol/ faggots.

>>14233481
Born and raised in the USA, you cumskinned mutt, and that makes you angry. Now tell me how you're german irish english again kek

>>14233154
Damn anon. Idk what the point was of that story but it was deep.

>>14233489
Cope harder little kike

>work at a place that does kids birthday parties when I was a teenager
>had freckles
>kids ask why I have dots on my skin
>tell them they are freckles
>"that's weird, you're weird"

Why are kids so ruthless bros

>>14233515
Seethe more cumskinned mutt. Try not to be so racist and apologize for your cumskin behavior, you bitch ass pussy.

>>14233550
I can't imagine having even turks thinking your race are disgusting parasites

>>14233569
Is that because you're a cumskinned rodent? Turks can think what they want, they're the ones who failed at genocide against women & kids.

However, this cumskin genocide I hear you bitch ass pussies crying about, it seems like a good thing :)

>>14233575
Keep coping and projecting you disgusting parasite

>>14233592
Keep seething you anally devastated cumskinned mongrel. Also, make Israel great again too.

>I'm part irish, english, french, german, native!
>I boil my chicken and its too spicy!

>>14233543
I used to tell them that they're dried blood from old mosquito bites and that that's what happens to you every time you're bitten by a mosquito.

>>14233595
There's a reason those people called immigration when they thought the guy was a cockroach person like your family

>>14233605
Because they were cumskinned mongrels like you. There is a reason cumskins like you currently being put in their place.

>>14233627
Way too obsessed with your superiors

>>14233633
Is that what you call it? Like I said you cumskinned mongrel, I'm born & raised in the USA, that false sense of superiority you have is nothing but delusion from excess mountain dew, methamphetamine, or opiates. I've been putting down white bitches like you for 29 years now, and I will continue to do so.

I really wonder why your kind are such spiteful little bitches though, but its too late for explanations, just take a look at whats happening to the USA :)

>>14233641
How obsessed are you that this is all you are thinking about? Where did you get that I'm from the USA. How shitty must it be to be part of a disgusting parasitic race, obsessed with whites, and still dumber than a negro

>>14233646
Ah the regurgitation of cumskinned comebacks from you fucking losers never fails to disappoint, I'm really surprised you haven't posted shitskin yet.

Also, you're lower than niggers, just turn on the news and you'll see. Absolutely pathetic, no wonder your women don't even prefer you fucking losers kek.

Anyways you cumskinned mongrel, I'm sure you spammed f5 waiting for my reply, but I'm off work for now (no cumskins hired at my business, and we rip off cumskins). Stay mad, and get ready for what is coming for your kind.

>>14233655
So much cope get some help kid

>>14233655
>I'm really surprised you haven't posted shitskin yet.
He knows that you're just another severely inbred and mentally ill 2:9 3:9er

>>14233154
It's probably the drinking and the sad show I just finished watch that did most of the work, but you got me teary eyed.

>>14229580
You're allowed to get rid of the kid for adoption immediately after birth, unfortunately a lot of countries have renegged on this so the parents right to anonymity no longer exists, so now we have a bunch of adopted kids tracking down their parents years later and then the state asks why sperm donors and parents who tossed retards to the state being contacted by their 'kids'
And now they turn around and ask, "Why doesn't any good men want to donate sperm? Why don't women donate their eggs? All we can find is retarded nigger refugees willing donate for money, how could this be?"

If you've ever been to Vancouver International airport, there's a secondary terminal to the south end of the airport where cargo planes, regional airlines, helicopters and bush planes run out of.

Further south of that is a seaplane terminal where Harbour air runs their float planes. One of the models of plane is a Dehavilland beaver.

In this seaplane terminal is a bar and grill called "The Flying Beaver"

Me and my dad went there for dinner after work one night when I was like 16 and it was the waitress flaunter her enormous barely covered cleavage in our faces as she took our orders.

Me and my dad looked at each other and silently acknowledged the magnificence of that rack.

It was the first time that I ever had an adult father-son "man" moment.

>>14232875
lol what a fucking pair of homos

>>14232875
Clearly wanted you to bend him over the dish machine. Should have done it pussy

>Start delivery job at Panera instantly the best delivery driver, because im not autistic and am coming out of some shitty factory job.
>Everyone picks up on im smart, and not retarded or a lazy highschooler. All the managers ask me to do their jobs for free food.
>Dont actually want food, eventually they just give me their employee numbers and shit so I can just give myself discounts and stuff.
>Litterally running night shifts while managers fuck off in office
>Find out some slut they hired a week after me gets payed more than me and every other guy on line, this girl does literally nothing on her first day she just made out with some other guy, then got cheated on the next week.
>Ask if I can get a raise, they say yes and send me to a training. Nothing happens.
>Ask for 6 month raise they say yes and nothing happens.
>Ask about its status 8 months in still nothing
>Eventually covid hits and everyone is a lazy fuck, Im now the work bitch who just does everyones job.
>People bitch at me for not doing their jobs fast enough when im trying to do my own.
>Start getting reprimanded for not doing other peoples jobs.
>Cant find new job cause covid
>In the middle of all this shit some nig nog and a manager body check my brother and start shouting and beating their chests when they are asked to help handle a lunch rush.
>District manager came and said we instigated and everyone's at fault because asked for help.
>Hours get cut even more because no longer allowed to work shifts with these gorillas, everyone starts treating me like even bigger trash.
>Just start working slower and not giving a fuck, they cant fire me they need someone to actually do work.
>Just tune everyone out and stand by the dishwasher running it 24/7 even when nothing is in it so I can say cant hear you to everyone. Who you can barely hear mumbling under their masks.
>General manager just makes tik toks with all the other guys and is cheating on her husband with three of them.
>Still never got my raise

>>14233928
Cont hear from a manager that got accused of calling some Nigs the N word, that district manager just fucks all the other female managers, so I will never get a raise cause I dont have a vagina.

>>14211344
who the fuck uses seasoning shakers at a restaurant. That shit is so processed with sodium to last longer.

>>14233943
>processing salt with sodium
Do burgers really do this?
It's always organic Himalayan salt here without additives. You can tell it's pure because it's pink.

>>14233928
You sound like everyone’s bitch and like you shouldn’t be there

>>14215871
you have to be a creep to be in that industry

>>14233928
You should have done your job and that’s it.
Also is your manager cute?

>>14234005
No you don’t.

>>14234005
>you have to be a creep to be in that industry
>>14234012
You really don't need to be but the presence of teenage waitresses and the normality of fucking them for giving them shifts (or just because they're horny teenagers) definitely attracts a bunch of creeps to it.

>>14219931
Maybe he was gay?
I know I always go to the same place for coffee because of the waiter. Me and my girlfriend both wanth to fuck him

>>14211450
>got a waitress gf when I worked at a pizza place
>bros dropped constant hints on her being a thot
>ignored them because I was a virgin and I wanted to fuck
>relationship didn't last long because she didn't find me to be "fun" like her
>she breaks up with me
>bros tell me that I dodged a bullet because she was nuts
>tfw I found out I was also eskimo brothers with a lot of the staff

>>14234035
Yea I mean I get it but there’s a fine like between trying to bang some girl out of high school and trying to fuck a 15 year old.

>>14234009
the general one is an obese landwhale, the one who got fired was a cute Jesus loving latina

>>14234061
>the general one is an obese landwhale
How is she getting laid with three guys plus a husband then?

>>14211255
>Go grab lunch alone
>Waitress doesn't even approach me for twenty minutes because she thinks I'm waiting for someone
>Shoot me a nasty look, the I know you are poor and alone so I don't expect you to spend a lot of money or tip
>End up ordering multiple appetizers, drinks, dessert and two cups of coffee
>Waitress is impressed
>I spot people in other tables looking at me and mumbling to each other
Oh, just one more thing
Don't bring the change honey
>Leave 20% tip
>Stand up and leave without giving.her a chance to reply (I had to sit outside because I'm too big to go inside without making the other costumers uncomfortable)

>>14234070
cause she is a flirty attention whore, and guys have no standards, especially when plowing your boss gets you preferential treatment.

>>14234053
Whether she's a 15yo or 18yo, a 30yo hitting on her is going to be kind of a creep and you know there's any number of 40yos who started a restaurant/cafe with at least part of the reason being banging teenage waitresses.
The stories of all the waitresses blowing managers and cooks makes me wonder how the proposal goes for that.

>>14232854
Absolutely horrendous reading comprehension. He's saying in middle school, the kids loosen the salt, so everyone gets the habit of tightening before pouring.

Fucking lol that you think teachers teach a class on screwing salt caps. It's part of the standardized university entrance exams too, lol.

>>14234042
a tale as old as time. looking back i think it was good i lost my virginity to someone more experienced than i was, even if they were a whore.

>>14234087
>you think teachers teach a class on screwing salt caps
They do in the school of hard knocks.

>>14233641
holy shit the seething jealousy of whites here.

>>14212023
I'll be your boyfriend babe, what's ur contact?

>>14234073
award for the most pathetic LARP ITT

>>14227029
bacon
limburger
tilsiter

>>14234087
What kind of shithole you live that your university have entrance exams about fucking tighting the salt cap.

>>14233928
I worked at Panera as a driver for a while. After I had tried everything on the menu I wanted to try I quit. Panera has a turnover rate of +100%. One year later and there's not a single person working there that was there when I was there. Not even the GM.

>>14234634
How do you run a consistent campaign if you keep changing the gamemaster?

>>14234636
Apparently Panera is the Adventurers League of bakery chains. All top-down head-office imposed rules to keep game-play consistent and ensure plots don't go off the rails.

>>14234636
the rules are chiseled in stone and a trained monkey could learn them

>>14234560
Laus

>>14212023
I think public make outs are inappropriate, but I also enjoy groping my GF in public (though I try to be sneaky about it, there's an art to it) so I'm probably a hypocrite.

>>14232773
This is a really obnoxious reaction image and I must ask that you delete it from your computer and never use it again.

>>14233154
Best thing I've read on /ck/ in awhile.

>>14235088
If it wasn't wrong, it wouldn't be as much fun.

I have some friends who do that, he loves slipping his hand down her top and grabbing her breast in public, often in front of me. They're a kinky couple and I can tell she doesn't like it but she used to live with me as housemates and maybe there's some feeling she has about me that makes him do it to her in front of me as some punishment or tease, I'm not sure. I don't try and understand their relationship because it's some private BDSM thing with wagers and punishments and deals. For all I know, she gets to stick a urethral sound down his dick every time he gropes her tit in front of someone she knows or something.


I used to finger girls in nightclubs all the time but that's different I think.

>>14217368
never heard the term before, I am 20(almost 21) I and everyone I know just called it sloppy seconds or being a cuck.

>>14223237
its no bending, lifting, twisting, at least thats what it said on the paper my doctor gave me.

>>14223886
>not killing him then cutting up his body in the kitchen then putting the pieces in carry out boxes then feeding him to gators
why did you even live in Florida for then?

>>14224095
>but at that stage we're not really shitposting on 4chan, we're watching an episode of Dallas
no at that stage once you get out of jail you burn down everyone's homes and or kill everyone involved, the DA would probably be the hardest so he should go first.

>>14229123
>seminoles
>Florida
now all the stories make complete sense

>>14229123
I'm from northern MN and the all of the rezzes around here are like that too. Fuckin Red Lake has a worse crime rate than downtown Minneapolis.

>>14233486
>he says after making it a race thing

>>14215698
>people being obnoxious in public aren't the problem. it's you, keeping to yourself, who is the problem

>>14236281
This but unironically

>>14236222
Well the one in Hollywood Florida is nice but since none of them have to work since they’re making 100k a year they all go crazy.

>>14237232
Around here it's all: brand new cars, iphones, and jordans; but they all live in meth'd out trailers

>>14237460
Do they get paid from their casinos too?

>>14237704
Yeah, they're the only ones allowed to own/operate casino's in MN

>>14237704
>>14237848
They all get big payouts when they turn 18 and more yearly. Plus they can get rental/utility assistance from the rez and then go to the county office and collect the same benefits again from the county aide programs.

>>14228988
I mean its a profession thats mostly staffed by people who are high on stimulants, and with criminal records... or VERY passionate people who are hard to work around.
Iv worked in 3 proper restaurants(like, stuff done by scratch) as an adult, and there's definitely a correlation between a place thats staffed by broken people, and the quality of food it puts out(read:the more fucked up the cooks are, the better the food ususaly tastes)

The last person in the freezer didn't close it all the way. Place was pretty low tech and didn't have alarms or the door shutting with its own weight so it was completely unknown. To make things worse something electrical fucked and stopped working and this was the day before a holiday too, so no one was in until the following day. Staff shows up and the whole place is buzzing with flies and stench. Looked like fucking beelzebub crashed for the night. Head cook calls manager and he shows up within the hour. Nothing salvageable in the freezer. I remember him scooping up a handful of flies and throwing them at the wall before telling us all to go home

>>14238160
>>14238160
>>14238160

>>14237848
>>14237854
You would think at the least they wouldn’t live in trailers. In Hollywood the community they live in is very nice.

>>14238172
Most of the housing is government/rez government provided so it's just another thing that they don't have to spend money on, leaving more money to be spent on meth/heroin/coke/weed. The other big factor is that it's cold as balls here and the land is either swampy woods or sandy dirt that you can't grow shit on. The properties by the lakes are pretty nice and not so stereotypically trashy but they've all been bought up by rich fucks from the twin cities metro as summer cabins since forever.

>>14228988
>Co worker got locked in the freezer and we forgot about him
d-did he die?

>>14238041
The restaurant I worked had some formal people come in, chief of security, president, religious leaders and prime ministers. Sometimes crazy fucks also make the best cooks and we had one that was a ticking time bomb. It all depends, there is an axis of crazy and talented sometimes it over lapse.
>>14238738
On a positive note we had some killer meat balls the next day! Guy was a fucking cunt and we locked him up because he wouldn't shut his face. Head chef even opened the fridge to find him there and closed the fridge again on him. Only let him out because "he was polluting my product that retard"

>>14213826
I'm unsaving this thread and won't see any replies to this comment.