/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14053596

if it's still edible, just eat it and learn for next time

>>14053596
I eat it as self-punishment

>>14053596
>Sometimes it's the equipment
It's never the equipment lol.

Most of the time I eat it, unless it's completely fucked. Doesn't happen often and I hate wasting food. I did just try a carbonara recipe and didn't realize I didn't have creme fraiche. For some reason my dumb ass thought that plain yogurt might be a decent enough substitute. It wasn't. Ended up tossing like a pound of pasta, mushrooms and bacon. Oh well.

I fucked up and married a white girl who can't cook for shit... and still managed to gain 30 lbs.

When you're new try to always follow a recipe then when you get experience you can mix things up
At the same time you learn a lot from your mistakes try to eat whatever you can as long as it doesnt induce nausea or sickness or it is simply unbearable
I also hate throwing and wasting food but sometimes you gotta

>>14053659
Guys, look at the girl's mom before you get married to her. I guarantee you, your wife's mom is fat. You should have seen it coming.

>>14053635
don't need any dairy beyond the cheese my dood

>>14053746
I know, I've made it a couple times before, but this recipe used creme fraiche. Made the pasta way too silky and slippery and obviously the taste was off because why the fuck would you put plain yogurt in a pasta dish you idiot?

>>14053635
>It's never the equipment lol.
It actually be the equipment. Shit like thermonitor cause fuck off and be 30 degrees off. Or your oven hitting choils can be jacked and not heat up enough. Grill gas vents can get clogged and stop producing as much flame. So equipment can and has failed, you'd know this if you actually cooked.

>don't want to waste food so I save my failures in the fridge
>lie to myself and say I'll eat it tomorrow
>next day I cook something better so I don't have to eat those leftovers yet
>forget about it
>fridge starts smelling
>forced to toss it
I'll eat them one day, promise

>>14053860
Buy a good instant read thermometer (Something like a Thermapen, not a shitty $10 one) a good oven thermometer and you're set for 10+ years.

>>14053860
Blaming your tools because you cheaped out is a sad way to excuse yourself.
There are very few things you absolutely need to maintain exact cooking temps.
Alot of a thermometer's inaccuracy can be adjusted by time, i.e. keeping your eyes on it and making the call when something is going wrong or is done earlier.

>>14053596
cram in asshole as punishment for my failure

>>14053596
Unless it's truly unedible (under or overcooked) I eat it anyway.

I almost never fuck up so bad that it's inedible. It's happened maybe once in the past couple of years. I made chicken fried steaks and seriously underestimated the amount of tenderizing it would need. It was like eating breaded leather so I chucked it, but the pan-sauce, mashed potatoes, and veggie side were fine. I just fried up a bit of leftover sausage I had in the fridge and it made a meal. Still pissed me off though.

Before that I think I left some skillet potatoes on the stove top while I got distracted and burned them. Still ate the top layer lol.

>>14053596
I made some special dates (see pic, I took it).

Melt some dark chocolate with milk and some hazelnut creamer - double boiler setup.
Toasted some almonds.
Deseeded dates.
Put 2 toasted almonds in each one.
Dip in chocolate.
Freeze 15 mins.
Dip in chocolate.
Roll around in shredded coconut.
Freeze 15 mins.
Dip in chocolate.
Top with leftover toasted almonds crushed in a mortar and pestle.
Freeze 15 mins.

It tasted good, but the chocolate was not firm. I knew that going in since I purposely ignored tempering since I had no time do learn it or do it since I needed them very quickly.

So, it was a semi-failure but I knew that going in. Kinda looking forward to making some "real" chocolate now and using it in things like croissants and banana bread :D

>>14054130
Fuck, forgot the pic. See attached.

I have a special routine for bad food, I like to put it in a plastic bag and shamefully run to the nearest public trashcan and throw it out. Some dishes include:
>sausage and rapini pasta
>stir fried vegetables with curry paste
>chicken marinated in soy sauce cooked with garlic sauce(too salty)
>homemade pizza(forgot yeast)
and a special one:
>oatmeal(i only put cinnamon, no sugar or any other topping, eat until I gag and then throw away the rest)

>>14053596
Soemtimes you can salvage a ruined ingredient. When dumplings are overcooked for instance and fall apart, you can still fry them into delicious, crispy bits.
Othertimes, food can simply be ruined. But that's rare. One trick to minimize food waste is to don't have a lot of food stockpiled. Don't try out something new that can go wrong when you still have leftovers. Because then your threshold for thrashing is far lower.

>>14054171
>I have a special routine for bad food

Interesting, sounds like this happens often. Do you just never try to make it well?

>>14053596
>What do you do to your failures?
Depends really. Most of the time my "failures" are edible, they're just not perfect, so I eat them. If the food is honestly inedible then I throw it out, but that's pretty rare.

>How do you guys manage this shit?
Try and figure out why you're failing then fix that issue. If you get distracted easily and let food burn while you're not paying attention then leave your phone/computer/whatever off while you're cooking. If your food is overcooked or undercooked on a regular basis go get a thermometer, etc. If your food is under/over-seasoned then make sure you get into the habit of tasting the food as you cook and adjusting accordingly, etc. It's kind of hard to be helpful without knowing where the problem lies.

>>14053863
Shit.... too close to home man. I know these /ck/ feels. Next time, it'll happen. I swear.

>>14053596
Worst failures

>pizza dough didnt't rise

Result: rolled flat with everything seasoning and sea salt, had good crackers for wine and cheese

>forgot I salted an octopus dish, salted 2 maybe 3 times over cuz I was high

Result: absolutely inedible, had to throw out the entire dish after eating a couple bites.

>made tacos that were absolutely flavorless, thought I lost my mind because I thought I seasoned them.

Result: ate really bland tacos, and decided I should never cook again. Found out spices can go bad, and will lose basically all taste if not properly stored. Take care of your spices

>>14053596
Only thing I've tried to make that wasn't actually edible was dumplings. Clearly the heat was too high because they were simultaneously raw and burnt to charcoal.

>>14053676
this is legitimately good advice, and I first heard it from my gran
"that's what you're buying in thirty years' time" was the exact phrasing

>>14053635
I make yoghurt carbonara on the regular, works fine

>>14054725
You can add sugar to overly salted things to cut the salt

>>14054171
all of those sound fine/fixable. first two sounds tasty

if a dish too salty just eat less of it with more rice. or add more chicken/some veg/potatoes and recook.

no yeast pizza won't rise but give it a day and the crust will be soft enough to eat.

if oatmeal was too tasteless, just add some sugar or jam or fruit to it ffs. you're like that guy who was asking whether he can add more salt to a dish after it's cooked

>>14054138
No one commented on my dates :^(

>>14054864
you just did, you desperate fuck

>>14053596
I typically eat my failures, unless they're impossibly salty or something.

>>14053596
Eat it all to teach yourself a lesson to never make the same mistake again or to be lazy going into a recipe. Unless it's inedible like a brick of charcoal or something.

>>14054138
I like dates, but never had them coated on anything.

>>14053614
yep. but this mindset usually leads to me throwing out ingredients if they're going bad and won't make my dish taste good. Like last night I had some leftover chicken and if it stayed a day longer in my fridge would probably go bad, but I already maxed out putting it on my pizza so I used up as much as I could that wouldn't make the whole thing taste worse, and threw the rest out.

>>14054877
Why is it wrong to be desperate? I just wanted someone to say hey those almonds look but yea I can see that the chocolate isn't firm - you can do better next time!

That would make me sooo happy :)

>>14054928
i didn't say there was anything wrong with it, you desperate fuck

>>14054895
They make what I made commercially as well (but better ofc since I messed it up). Definitely check em out if you ever see some.

>>14054934
Please daddy tell me that I did a good job and that I can improve :(

>>14054937
no, you desperate fuck

>>14053596
>r/cooking
>find thread
>copy/past to 4chan

Fuck off back to your hugboy, cuck.

>>14054864
probably because those look like non-activated almonds

>>14054967
You've just activated my almonds.

>>14053596
Unless it's practically inedible, or actually dangerous to eat, I'll always prefer eating it to throwing it out.
I don't like wasting food, and reducing food waste is one of the few social/ecological causes I actually care about.

I've occasionally 'messed up' a recipe and it turned out I enjoyed it more than what was originally intended, with exception to burning something or rendering it unsafe or inedible.

>>14053635
>creme fraiche for carbonara
fuck off tastelet

>>14055227
aren't mushrooms usually not in carbonara either?

>>14055251
stopped reading before
>mushrooms
>bacon
desu

>>14055255
It really does seem like a mess, I hope they post the actual recipe because I'm having a hard time believing it unless it's one of those allrecipes disasters.

>>14055264
>>14055227
>>14055251
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t7JLjr1FxQ

>>14055885
gordon really has lost it at this point

>>14053676
My dad told me this 30 years ago. As I look at my wife and my friends wives. He was dead on.

>>14056757
My dad told me the Jewish media deliberately pushes hatred of white people and gave me a copy of 200 Years Together.

>>14056757
It makes a lot of dumb sense.
a) genetics. Women are a product of their parents, so a girl's parents are a loose indication of what she'll age like physically.
2) parents instill eating and other health habits at an early age. Parents that eat like shit and don't exercise pass it onto their kids and vice versa.
c) shape. You can kind of see the shape that the woman will go down as she ages when you look at the woman.

Not to mention all the practical sense and wisdom aka every single case that it confirms.

I'm drunk but all of this makes sense when you actually look at it. Women mimic their mom's behaviors, as do dudes. Health behaviour that we learn early on carries on into our adulthood.

Healthy, thin moms equal healthy equal daughters, usually.

>>14053596
I've never fucked up so bad that it was inedible, but once i only finished 2/3 though cause the fish was old

>>14057132
You either don't cook enough or the more likely scenario, you don't have standards.

How many people do you cook for?

>>14057143
Inedible is a pretty low bar to reach. More likely that you're a wasteful fusspot.

>>14054928
They look good.

>buy a relatively expensive ingredient I havent worked with before
>follow a highly rated recipe to the T
>its mediocre, not bad, not worth the money
>order a takeaway instead
its an abstract feel

>>14057152
>inedible is a pretty low bar to reach

You'd be surprised.

Sometimes, mistakes happen because you misidentify one ingredient for another, as what just happened to me five minutes ago.
I was making a smoothie. I freeze fruits in 100g portions in little plastic sachets. This morning, I was going to have a banana smoothie, which requires two such sachets. I grabbed one but couldn't find another. Oh. Wait. There you are, behind the broad beans. How tf did you get back there? Anyway, into the blender you go.
Bzzzzzzz
Bzzzzzzz
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Plop! glug glug glug
Take a sip. It tastes smokey.
Turns out, frozen bananas which have turned brown look an awful lot like frozen roasted eggplants, which I keep for when I want a quick baba ghanouz. So I'm having an eggplant and banana smoothie at the moment.

It's actually surprisingly good. I wouldn't make it again, mind you, but it works somehow and isn't revolting.

>>14058089
well it's banana ghanouz now

What the fuck don't waste food. When cooking you should always be able to pivot a dish into something else. If something doesn't turn out the way you like make another dish with it. If you are practicing a specific recipe or preparation make small batches so you can get it right before making say enough for 4 people.

>>14053596
>What do you do to your failures?

I eat them of course.

A. I don't want to waste food, if it is avoidable
B. I don't want to waste the money I spent, either
C. It wouldn't feel right given the way I've been raised. My father is old enough to have lived through the end of WW2 and the post-war period in Germany and the attitude that a lot of people have developed has sort of rubbed off on me. It just feels ungrateful to throw away food simply because it does not taste good.

>>14054138
Not really an example of fucking up a dish. You know this.

>>14057315
Thank you :D